quote - balls

[scpubgit/mst-quotefile.git] / quotefile

"Shit is necessary in today's cut-throat business society.  Without shit, there
would be no relief for frustrated, coprophile businessmen."
  - Dany responding to somebody saying "ARUUUUUGH I HATE SHIT!"
%
"It doesn't matter what your IQ is if you only use one point at a time"
  - arachne to a luser in #uk_goffs
%
Bring me my etherkiller; Oh clouds unfold! / Bring me the magic smoke of desire
I shall not cease from mental fight / Nor shall my LART rest in my hand
Till we have buried the bodies / Of all the lusers in all this land
  - rpg in ASR
%
I'll have to try and get an item written into the DR plan specifying a
run to Krispy Kreme for sysadmin fuel, since it'd no doubt be a long
night ahead.
  - adb in ASR
%
Plausible Deniability - a wonderful productivity tool.
  - Kellogs in ASR
%
``Here, sanity ... niiiiiice sanity, come to daddy ... okay, that's a
good sanity ... {*THWONK!*} _Got_ the bastard.''
  - adb in ASR
%
"[The crap lusers install on windows slows it down, but] it's generally the
lousy, third party, how-cheap-can-we-make-this-commodity-product drivers that
fuck it up the arse with a badger."
  - hythloday in #uk_goffs
%
"She bored me rigid - but not often enough"
  - my father, on why he divorced his first wife
%
"You're trying to trick me into being intelligent.  It won't work."
  - dpm in asr, in reply to me trying to convince him to 'use strict;'
%
How to spot if a luser is lying to you:   Their lips move
When to believe a luser:                  Never
How to spot fucked-up software:           Open eyes, focus on software
  - Dan Holdsworth in asr (paraphrased)
%
s/all-the-fucking-way'round/around until his truck's ass-end lead his
truck, much as his ass was doing all the driving from the inside./
  - Randy the Random improving on Gibson Hand in asr
%
"Stop your foul whining, you filthy piece of distended rectum"
  - Arnold J Rimmer, to himself
%
"MS ERP products are almost certainly a good replacement for PeopleSoft given
the main strength of both seems to be serving 500 errors"
  - (paraphrased from slashdot)
%
ATC: Airliner 123, turn right 20 degrees for noise abatement.
A123: Noise abatement?  We are at FL310.
ATC: Do you know how much noise it makes when two 737s collide?
A123: Airliner 123 is turning right 20 degrees.
%
Do *not* go without sleep for this long:
<Snoof> uee'hee/7'm'']]
<Snoof> ww
<Snoof> ki'm going to finish this and then go sle
%
"Looting Before Wenching". One should, at all times, keep one's
priorities in order. First, profit. Once profit is taken care of,
proceed to recreation (or, indeed, procreation).
  - Ingvar, in ASR
%
Sigmonster is away. please leave cookies after the beep. *BEEP*
%
"I get along really well with people, I just choose not to a whole lot of
the time."
  - Snoof, in #uk_goffs
%
"You could pop up a box that said 'Click here to be hit over the head with a
salmon' with an 'Ok' button and at least half of the people that it was
presented to would quickly click on 'Ok'."
  - David Gersic, in ASR
%
"What, you don't have an auto-aiming mangonel set up at the far end of the
office? <click> ... *WHOOSH* ... *WHAP!*"
  - geminii, automating salmon-to-luser-skull delivery in ASR
%
"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder"          (correcting transcription
"The penis mightier than the sword"                 errors in common quotes
"I came, I saw, she conquered"                      since 1983)
%
>When life gives you lemons...
Make lemonade and find someone that life gave vodka?
  - Jim Richardson and Randy the Random in ASR
%
I'm not a goth, I just can't afford the colour license

*this sig for rent*
%
The Internet is totally out of control, impossible to map accurately, and
being used far beyond its original intentions. So far, so good.
  - Dr. Dobb's Journal, May 1993
%
Perl's a language. She starts up/when she serves the pages in the server
Perl's a language, she serves pages/for the lost and the lonely
her job is entertaining geeks/serving warez and sex techniques/in the server
  - epitaph<|>lucretia
%
Logan Shaw's Zen of ASR Computing: free yourself of the desire to have
computers work properly for this is the root of all suffering.
%
"Once one has achieved full endarkenment, one is happy to have an entirely
 nonfunctional computer" - Steve VanDevender, ASR
%
"Marketing are the people who hold the customers down while Sales screws them"
  - Phil Launchbury, ASR
%
"I once had a company give me a pager without any further instructions.
It was kept on my desk, since that would ensure that it'd be with me
9-5 weekdays."
  - Peter Corlett, ASR
%
template<>basic_constreambuf<char>::char_type * (*const basic_constreambuf
<char>::copy_func)(char_type *, char_type const *, size_t len)=reinterpret_cast
<basic_constreambuf<char>::char_type *(* const)(char_type *, char_type const *,
size_t)>(memcpy); // why C++ers don't golf
%
Two strings walk into a bar.
The first string says "Hello, I'd like a rum and cokerhe795542kjn.,.43>>[][]?4"
The second string says "Excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated"
  (paraphrased from bash.org quote 469064)
%
"I love the word 'ginormous'.  I've only heard it spoken before.  :)
'gino' should be the keyword for declaring 64-bit integers in C."
  - ofer nave on the cdbi-talk mailing list
%
"Did I mention that my nose is on fire, and I have fifteen wild badgers
living in my trousers?"
  - Marcus Cole, Babylon 5
%
"Everybody knows that the dice are loaded.  Everybody rolls with their
fingers crossed.  Everybody knows the war is over.  Everybody knows the
good guys lost."
  - Leonard Cohen
%
Brick text, what a bitch
Adhere to the haiku spec
While the clock mocks me
  - AJS, ASR
%
"I want to give Tony Blair a caramel enema"
  - Fox, #uk_goffs
%
< chazter> batmop, hug
 * batmop SMASHES chazter's FUCKING FACE IN WITH A BRICK!
  - why batmop isn't as cuddly as he looks, #uk_goffs
%
< creighton> why do I find brick love disturbing?
< arachne> because you are an uneducated heathen who doesn't understand
< little_black_cat> a brick to the poon is a bit harsh for a newbie though
< arachne> it's the best way to learn
%
"I have finally persuaded Candy that I actually DON'T need her to come round
here and 'encourage' me to work - mostly by screaming 'if you dont fuck off
right now I'll stab you with this awl'"
  - Ems, irc.fyrestorm.co.uk #chat
%
"... the Adobe Reader can suck the rind off of a watermelon at fifty meters."
  - solios commenting on jwz's LJ
%
"irc.perl.org#catalyst: home of the apocalyptic two wheeled scooter riders!"
  - sri wields /topic once again
%
/* 1 if by land, 2 if by sea, 0 if out of memory. not allowed to barf. */
%
"You can't beat the video camera hooked up to a lava lamp as a proper source
of random numbers ... in fact, I'm fairly sure I have a program for my Indy
intended to do that somewhere"
  - paraphrased from lis0r in #uk_goffs
%
"Using Windows in place of a real operating system is like bringing a
knife out to a tactical nuclear exchange." - James Riden in ASR
"s/knife/fish/ but otherwise, yeah." - Jim's reply
%
"Overflow on datatype 'unsigned long' while indexing 'Windows Shit List'"
  - Jim in ASR
"So *that's* what the 64-bit version is for!"
  - James Riden's reply
%
'My attempts at saving seem to be punctuated with elementary errors along the
lines of, "Let's buy this P4" or "Let's buy this car, it's black"...'
  - Timberwolf in #uk_goffs
%
"Might I suggest playing a little game? It's called 'Michigan Roulette', and
you take a live grenade, shove it up your ass, pull the pin, and then make
bets as to how few people will miss you when you become a fine red mist."
  - sclerotic_rings venting on LJ
%
"If anyone's looking for AJR, he's up there on the hilltop, wearing
copper armour in a thunderstorm, screaming 'All MTAs Suck!'" - AdB
"They told me it would function as a Faraday cage." - AJR
%
"Do me a favour? Find out who the lead devs on postgres are. Find out where
they live. Then buy me a shotgun, some shell casings, and a LOT of rock salt."
  - Snoof venting on IRC
%
"Too many programmers code error messages as if their pay will be
retroactively docked every time a user figures out what the problem is."
  - dpm on ASR
%
I AM LIST POPPER. IF SEEING ME, CALL IT SPORT
%
"HTTP really means, 'hentai text transfer protocol'"
  - Graham Reed in asr
%
"Drugs may go in and out of fashion but they rarely go out of use."
  - villagechick on LJ
%
"Bleach in the gene pool. It's the only way."
  - paraphrased from Will Hawkins
%
There are two infinite entities : the universe and human folly.
I'm not yet sure about the universe.
 - Albert Einstein
%
"The United States of America is the only empire in history to have gone from
Barbarism directly to Decadence, without any intervening period of
Civilisation." - Oscar Wilde
%
"People used to come in with green-spiked hair and body piercings and say
'Where's my server?' and throw money at us."
  - Scott McNealy on the .com boom
%
"Epitaph kicks off the geckos and the thermophilae and fettles the AC again...
There is no way this is 22 degrees centigrade... (for additional
entertainment, it's the same system we use in the machine room)"
  - epitaph<|>lucretia
%
"Welcome to the World Wide Web - delivering unexpected penis since 1993!"
  - http://www.ghastlycomic.com/d/20050522.html
%
"We live in the interface between radioactive molten rock and hard
vacuum and we worry about safety." -- Chris Hunt
%
<@mst> perl6 and lisp, on the same bytecode engine ... heaven :)
<@sri> you're soo insane dude...
  - sri, trying once again to convince me I'm the evil one on #catalyst
%
"The business guys who did the most for Google were the ones who obligingly
flew Altavista into a hillside just as Google was getting started"
  - Paul Graham in http://www.paulgraham.com/bronze.html
%
"I just realized yesterday that my friendly neighborhood Planned Parenthood
is across the street from the Church of the Immaculate Conception."
  - vivalavivi getting metaquoted on LJ
%
"I find the best attitude is to treat programming like demon summoning: the
target is at least as smart as you, must obey the letter of your commands,
and hates you.  Code accordingly."
  - dstorrs on irc.perl.org#catalyst
%
<@draven> the army's secret service is close to this lake too
<@draven> there was a sign that said 'no pictures'
<@draven> so I took a picture of it.
  - draven, tempting fate on #catalyst
%
16:07 <@mst> did I just kill the right one? (sysadmin blues on #chat)
16:07 <@Snoof> holy god shit wtf. no!
16:07 <@Snoof> oh wait yes
16:08 <@Snoof> ok i'm going to shut up a moment.
%
16:50 <@draven> guess I'd better get outta here.
16:50 <@gabb> Run Forrest, run!
16:50  * draven steps on gabbs toe on the way out
  - draven and gabb being silly on #catalyst
%
"How do you visualise a 17-dimensional space?"
"Oh, that's easy. I just visualise an n-dimensional space and let n=17."
  - James Riden, re-treading an old maths joke on ASR
%
I must go to work.                                            (wax_jism on LJ)
I'd rather spork myself
but I have no spork.
So I must go to work.
%
"back in my day we had to walk to the trolls through fourteen feet of snow!
and then eat them with our bare hands! we weren't even allowed to use our
mouths!"  - restriction going yorkshire on LJ
%
"...whilst shutting down windows: Desktop: There is not enough memory to run
this program. Shut down one or more running programs..."
  - epitaph@lucretia
%
"Drugs. Drugs are the solution to this problem, but I have none except asprin
produced in Czechoslovakia in 1968 and I have firm rule about self-medicating
with pills that outlived their country of origin." - doqz on LJ
%
<Snoof> SWEARING
<Snoof> VIOLENT SHOUTY SWEARING
<Snoof> i'm going to kill things.
  (Snoof meets sql-ledger)
%
"CORBA being the distributed computing equivalent of a battleship anchor"
  - epitaph@lucretia
%
{ package SubRef; sub AUTOLOAD { our $AUTOLOAD; my $meth = $AUTOLOAD;
$meth =~ s/.*:://; shift->($meth, @_); } }; my $x = bless(sub { print
join(' ',@_[0,2..$#_])."\n"; }, 'SubRef'); $x->Just(qw/Another Perl Hacker/);
%
Snoof: why does this installation instruction contain gabbling about a .exe?
mst: Prob. cos it runs on Windaz and they've made the binary .exe everywhere
Snoof: you're buying me a gun for our six month anniversary next month, right?
%
> I have very little knowledge of goats and I _really_ wish people would (Jim)
> start to trust me on this.
We trust your knowledge of goats. We also trust you *on* goats. We     (Satya)
don't trust you *with* goats.
%
<click>"PUT THE GOAT QUOTE DOWN AND STEP AWAY FROM YOUR .SIG FILE, SIR!"
  - Jim reacts badly to my quotefiling his sexual pervsions in a.s.r
%
<mst> yeah, actually, that's a good idea
<Snoof> well i was going to do it whether you said yes or no...
<Snoof> but i thought you might like the illusion of choice.
%
"Sometimes a penis is _just_ a penis."
  - Jim, in a.s.r
%
< dennyd> I had one blue ear for a few days once
< dennyd> that was annoying
< dennyd> much more care applying the vaseline after that
%
<@draven> boogiewoogiewoogiewoogie
<@mst> BoiNg wOinG
<@sri> limbo!
  - #catalyst. don't ask.
%
I like these calm metal moments before the storm.
It reminds me of Beethoven.
%
Epitaph makes Yet Another Unplanned Change to the network architecture
Mst says: wait? you have planned changes? I don't remember mention of any
Epitaph says: yes, but we never have time to implement them
%
"Asylum seekers have died in such circumstances. We chose to meet up and
discuss the future of the internet."
  - Kieren McCarthy on an ICANN meeting
%
"'minor human errors' - Do they really exist? I've only seen the big ones that
really screw things up."
  - Deadsetter on irc.scsys.co.uk
%
<Snoof> maybe you should just shave him completely. i think this time of 
        year's a bit hot for sheep anyway.
<Snoof> eeerrr.
<Snoof> wrong window.
%
"If, on the other hand, you are suggesting that we replace our current 
Prime Minister with a houseplant, then I think it is an eminently 
sensible idea, and the houseplant will get my vote at the next election."
  - Rayner, in a.s.r
%
<@draven> "My mother was a tailor, she sewed my new blue jeans. My father 
          was a warlock, down in New Orleans."
<@draven> House of the WOW
%
"Volvos are hand-carved from lumps of exotic matter by cunning Swedes and
cannot be destroyed by conventional weapons."
  - JoeB, in a.s.r
%
'... if I really need more than 160 characters, my phone has this bizarre
secondary function whereby you can put someone's number in, hold the phone
to your head, and in some way "talk" to them.'
  - jimbo, in #chat
%
You ask MikeA an inane question.
MikeA hits you with cluebat.
You die.
Dump file (y/n)? 
%
You ask MikeA an inane question.
MikeA hits you with 3000 volts across the forehead.
You die.
Dump file (y/n)? 
%
You ask MikeA an inane question.
MikeA hits you with brick.
You die.
Dump file (y/n)? 
%
You ask MikeA an inane question.
MikeA hits you with canoe paddle.
You die.
Dump file (y/n)? 
%
You ask MikeA an inane question.
MikeA hits you with howitzer.
You die.
Dump file (y/n)? 
%
You ask MikeA an inane question.
MikeA hits you with tile from raised floor.
You die.
Dump file (y/n)? 
%
You ask MikeA an inane question.
MikeA hits you with 2x4.
You die.
Dump file (y/n)? 
%
You ask MikeA an inane question.
MikeA hits you with Imperial Assload of hungry ferrets.
You die.
Dump file (y/n)? 
%
You ask MikeA an inane question.
MikeA hits you with startling news.
You die.
Dump file (y/n)? 
%
You ask MikeA an inane question.
MikeA hits you with Orbital Anvil Delivery System.
You die.
Dump file (y/n)? 
%
"I'd like to point out that I _did_ say everything I said, and my only regret
is that I couldn't use a larger font."
  - Jim, in a thread of people disclaiming quote attribution in a.s.r
%
"Unfortunately the inventors of the Selenium high-voltage 
rectifier-sticks common in early-1960s TV sets have prior claim 
to the Smell-Emitting Diode."
  - Tanuki, in a.s.r
%
12:48 < Purge> whats mod_apreq and do i need it?
12:50 <@draven> apache request handling
12:50 <@draven> it will make things faster, and more painful
12:50 <@draven> kinda like amphetamine.
%
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
%
"Actually, windows was probably sulking anyway - I've been running the laptop
using sleep on lid close for three weeks so it hasn't been allowed to crash
for a while"
  - mdk, on irc.scsys.co.uk
%
"I only had BIND working for a while, but then noticed that getting powerful
electric anal discharges was funnier (and felt better)"
  - ank, on irc.perl.org
%
< Ems> person accusing me of pony abuse says "ive had horses 30 years, 
       ive been trampled on, squished, scraped, had bones broken etc 
       etc'... yeah, so your methods are working REALLY well huh!
%
<mst> both qmail and sendmail are involved, so really, bending reality
      wouldn't surprise me overmuch ...
<dngor> Or maybe it's cthulhu's influence...
<dngor> I/O fthagn!
%
* sri remembers autrijus crying for help on irc after he locked himself 
   in a room at Leopold Toetsch's house :)
%
> A tangled cable is a happy cable.
In that case some of mine are having way too much fun. They're into
bondage for one thing. I think the switch is the sub.
  - RBW and Jim in a.s.r
%
I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity
for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
                -- Hunter S. Thompson
%
Feudalism: It's your Count that Votes.
Democracy: It's your Vote that Counts.
Communism: Your Votes don't Count.
Capitalism: The Lowest Bidder Counts your Votes.
%
> I see this going somewhere with a Bene Gesserit Dentist and a gum jabber...
... and turning into a weird-ass mashup of Little Shop and Dune?
          "Son, be a Mentat / You have a talent for using your brain!"
  - prwade and Steve V in a.s.r
%
"Red Hat are a fine vendor of honeypots, but I'm not quite sure why people
use it as an operating system."
  - pndc in irc.scsys.co.uk#chat
%
"I come from a generation where the name Dick Van Dyke doesn't immediately
make you think of a website"
  - Nick Roberts, in the Yorkshire House
%
<@mst> mooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
<@dngor> Hello, sir.  I'm with Homeland Security.  We noticed your cow was
         ticking, so we took it out back and detonated it.  Here is your watch.
%
> The basic, bare bones pedal has nothing to keep the foot on the pedal.
... except for 100kg of BOFH, in my case. It appears to be enough.
  - Peter Corlett replying to Stuart Lamble in a.s.r
%
>> Look up Flying Spaghetti Monster.
>May all your networks be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
Ramen.
  - Pete Stephenson, Satya, and Jasper Janssen in a.s.r
%
1950: Communist         1960: Peacenik          1970: Socialist
1980: Welfare Cheat     1990: Paedophile        2000: Terrorist
They're all out to get you. Who do you want to demonize today?
  - Brian Kantor in a.s.r
%
<gabb> Hey, the world ain't 10,000 years old? :(
<bda> Only if you believe the mice had to patch and reboot it.
<ningu> the world actually reboots very quickly now, because it has journaling
<bda> See, you took my Douglas Adams joke, and you got Linux all over it.
%
Not _everything_ I do is obscene.
But I'm working on that.
  - greed in a.s.r
%
<@perigrin> You live in a country where the largest natural disaster is the
            burger at the pub. :)
* perigrin pines for .uk
%
< bda> It's not the Canadians' fault that their best link is a couple of 
       moose with tin cans and a wire...
%
>> Where can I buy a complete set of metric wenches?  (MikeA)
>It depends. What will you use as a measuring stick?  (Shmuel Metz)
My own personal dipstick, had it forever.             (Kevin Goebel)
%
"What happens nine months later is that the process daemonizes, and
detaches from its controlling terminal.  Then it execs."
  - Dave Brown on POSIX reproduction in a.s.r
%
As long as you're in wheel, you're never unarmed.
  - Kurt von Finck in a.s.r
%
"SFX GEEK 2: [We] got a freakishly tall Dutchman to wave [Keanu Reeves] around
on a stick while we shot at him. This got boring after a while, but the
shrieks of pain did tend to relieve the boredom."
%
"Does a non-Euclidean lubricant make Kleinalingus more enjoyable?"
  - Steve VanDevender in a.s.r
%
"When you have a trebuchet, every bear's a potential drop bear."
  - Chris Hacking in a.s.r
%
< joel> it was like working in an industrial club in a freezer
< joel> except without the munted cyberkids.
  - joel on exodus @ park royal, on irc.scsys.co.uk#chat
%
<@ningu> I would say the evolution of computers in the last 35 years is a
               fairly logical evolution from PDP to PGP to PHP
<@ningu> PPP came much earlier, it was envisioned first by beethoven
<@ningu> in his fifth symphony which began: pppd
%
Were I not taken, and she not taken, and if she were keen on the kind of
hallucinogen that makes me look fit, I'd *totally* have her in the palm of
my hand. or something.
  - DeathBoy, making no sense at all in #uk_goffs
%
21:12 <Snoof> the only difference was the virgin of apache
21:12 <Snoof> 1.3.33?
21:12 <mst> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
21:13 <Snoof> bollocks.
%
08:56 <@gellyfish> eek! windmill had forgotten what it was called
08:57 <@osfameron> windmills!
08:57 -!- osfameron is now known as DonOsfamerote
08:58 <@DonOsfamerote> charge!
%
-!- mode/#uk_goffs [+b *!*@213.249.157.68] by Samoth
-!- Chavet [jirc@213.249.157.68] has quit [Local kill by Samoth (Lame)]
-!- chavette [jirc@213.249.157.68] has quit [Local kill by Samoth (Also lame)]
%
# mysql is stupid and drops connections. Tell it to stalk the database. never
# let it out of its sight. Never.
  - chisel on irc.perl.org#catalyst
%
< epitaph_> afaics the pope selection process is something like a diesel
            engine: black smoke dead, white smoke OK
%
-!- chansen [~chansen@h106n2c1o1099.bredband.skanova.com] has quit [Quit: 
    sleep, sleep, yeah right. perhaps vermouth helps?]
%
<@drforr> WHEN WILL JESUS BRING THE PORK CHOPS?
<@dngor> Dude.  He can't do that.  He's Jewish.  He'll go to hell.
%
<@quicksilver> and sometimes when someone in #cat is being really 
               clueless what you really want to type is 
               <big-picture-of-mst-charging-at-observer-wielding-chainsaw>
%
Jan 15 10:53:44 sshd[11861]: Invalid user sex from 194.242.112.103
%
<@dngor> So fucked.  I just blew out /usr/bin and /usr/local/bin.
<@dngor> I had a script that switches between different versions of Perl.
         It contained a bug.
<@dngor> I'll need to recover it from backup to find out what that was.
%
< ningu> The audio is glitchy, the framerate is low; the best version 
         came out a long time ago. The audio's been glitchy on everything 
         I've tried; with the hardware I've got it's not justified.
%
< Doc>   it's a conditioned response. deny everything first, then think
<@Snoof> i agree, Doc, except for the last two words
%
"Sometimes all it takes to restore sanity is for theory to meet reality
head on..."
  -- Mr. T., W9LBB
%
"The world would be a better place if all software croaked when anyone used
any kind of indentifier that wasn't [A-Za-z][A-Za-z0-9_]+"
  -- blblack in magnet#dbix-class
%
 * mst fires the 10-gauge
<@dngor> Quack quack quack! [RECEDES]
<@mst> your hairline is a duck?
<@dngor> And at this point also a cover.
%
< mooli> Other people use their bleepers to find their car, I just stand
         around and wait for the clang of something falling off.
%
< joel> i just caught myself thinking "ooh, i know that tune"
< joel> and whistling along
< joel> it's the bloody hotel fax machine.
< joel> AAAARGHHHHH
%
< holoway> I was going to dig deeper into that bug over the weekend, but then 
           got hit by a drunk driver. silly drunk drivers.
%
 * mugwump will hopefully be the owner of 2404:130:d00b::/48 soon ;)
%
<epitaph> Bathroom window wide
          Rain on wind, South-easterly
          Cold wet willy grief
%
 * ubu ->lunch('turkey sandwich');
 * Nacho -> breakfast('http://victoria.openguides.org/Pluto%27s');
 * ct ->dada("Pig eye puppy hat. Blue.");
%
 * castaway deploys sandwiches
< nigel> ALTER sandwich ADD FILLING mustard...
%
< jwang> although there are a lot of PHP developers out there, if you ask
         for OO PHP developers, I think there may be less than OO Perl devs
<@phaylon> it's hard enough to find ones that can work without register_goblins
%
<@phaylon> people who use "MATCH" as column name in mysql should be shot 
           in two parts with a nailgun
%
Tiamo gets *very* drunk and then something crashes: 4 days
Anakata gets a really bad cold and noone is around: 7 days
The US and Swedish gov. forces the police to steal our servers: 3 days
(PirateBay downtime report)
%
< nothingmuch> aha
< nothingmuch> i see my vast army of doc minions have been hard at work
< nothingmuch> on other stuff
< nothingmuch> YOU'RE ALL FIRED
%
<@phaylon> damnit. I just wrote "my $font-weight =" in my css file
%
<+phaylon> well, I'm in hamburg and I want it more quietly :)
<+ningu_> that sounds mildly obscene
<+phaylon> is that a bad thing? :)
%
<@Nicholas> is there a STFU option for Firefox?
<@Nicholas> I object to my web browser making noises when I click on links
%
<@claco> programming without an f key is insane
<@claco> it works about one out of ever 10 hard presses...
<@claco> an no room or a big phat model M on the cophee table
<@claco> iph (1) {phoreach}
%
At work we've kind of renamed that command. When spoken it comes out
something like "arr-em-dash-arr-star-hands-off-keyboard-stop-and-think" :)
  - Ben Buchanan commenting on http://www.veen.com/jeff/archives/000899.html
%
< joel> my second thought, after "do they have polar bears?" was "what
        about broadband?"
%
< gbjk_home> When something like this becomes stable.. it's like have a 
             permanent bridge between cliffs made out of compliant 
             butterflies
%
Day changed to 07 Jul 2006
< Penguin> ooh, it's 07/07/07 today
< Penguin> ernm. fuck.
* Penguin goes away to fix his clock
%
<@perigrin> echo '0.02 - It's different from 0.01' >> Changes.txt
%
 * castaway pounces on mst
 * Penguin pounces on castaway and flattens mst
 * castaway tosses Penguin off
< Penguin> mm fish
%
<@dngor> You could also put it on the end and pop it off.
%
"So we had a bug in our session management stored procs... When anyone logged
out, it invalidated all sessions! We had ... where session_id = session_id
instead of where session_id = u_session_id.
"The thing is, in single user mode, you don't notice :)"
%
* dstorrs blows the Dread Manager's Whistle of Acrimonious Team Member
  Separation, +5
%
<@dstorrs> "May you live in interesting times, may powerful people notice 
           you, and may the phone company work diligently on your lines."
%
<@denny> "Yes, firefox is indeed greater than women. Can women block pop-ups
         for you? No. Can Firefox show you naked women? Yes."
%
 * kd searches to a sane file format to convert a ppt slide into
<@kd>  /dev/null comes to mind
%
-!- voidengineer [i=manchine@71.93.6.193] has joined #foobarbaz
< voidengineer> hey
< voidengineer> I guess I need another test channel
-!- voidengineer [i=manchine@71.93.6.193] has left #foobarbaz []
%
<@denny> hehe
<@denny> my two top matches on okcupid today are a couple
 * denny messages them both  :)
%
 * jguenther saw Tool in Edmonton on Friday
< holoway> jguenther, I saw Tool last night in George, WA
<@waswas> holoway: I saw tool in my hands last night.  What a coincidence.
%
<@darobin> Ugly is the key to Web 3.0
<@baud_deck> haha
<@baud_deck> SPIKY CORNERS
%
<@mst> DONGS
< jshirley> WHERE IS MY AUTOMOBILE
<@mst> INSERTED IN YOUR HARGLUAHGLAUAHGLUAHA
< jshirley> IT MUST RUN ON BIODIESEL.
%
<@captainL> i'm not really into ponies, but it'd keep the gf happy.
%
< kane-xs> castaway: oh, if we have 2 index.tt files in 2 different 
           paths, that's a Developer Error
< kane-xs> ideally, a small gnome exits the screen and hits the developer
%
 * denny wonders if anyone has started a VoIP company called IPfreely
%
<@romauld> I, of course, read that as worky*panty*worky...
 * denny goes in search of pig
 * helenic|workypaintyworky is not wearing panties
-!- denny is now known as denny|lard
%
<@Fox> poggs|work: my anus cannot wait much longer.
<@Fox> poggs|work: it puckers with anticipation.
<@poggs|work> Fox: I'm sure you can find a bollard.
%
< matgates> preg_replace?  sounds like a sort of back street abortion clinic.
< Treenaks> matgates: no, then you wouldn't replace ;)
< blueNine> preg_match() is the new clear-blue test?
%
 * DrHyde has been prescribed a diet of Aretha Franklin by his parish 
    priest in an attempt to stave off vampirism
%
>>then there's mechanically recovered chicken.                        (SteveD)
> alt.chickadmin.recovery.automatic?                                    (Dave)
Quiet group, though.  Everyone's afraid to try waving a sysadmin. (Ron Parker)
%
<@jrockway> mst: isn't it 5am your time right now?
<@mst> nah ... only 4:56
< Penguin> it's 5:03 here
< Penguin> shit, ntp has died again
%
<@jrockway> I have to maintain a website written in VB now
<@jrockway> what the fuck
<@jrockway> it looks like If Some Condition That's Human Readable Oh Yeah 
            Then There's A Security Hole End
%
> ... [based on bonfire night we] should be celebrating Christmas by hunting
> down weirdoes and nailing them to bits of wood.
Gives a whole new meaning to "making a Christmas list", now, dunnit? 
  -- (pndc and MikeA in the SDM)
%
<@lathos> Sinfest++
<@lathos> No, wait, I'm not supposed to say that.
%
Whilst holidaying with the sprogs and watching Favourite Teddy Bear
trundling through the x-ray, I speculated on the fun that could be had
with a teddy bear containing a radio-opaque teddy-bear skeleton.
 -- K. in the SDM
%
<@dngor> You are a beautiful, unique snowflake.  In hell.
%
<@mst> plan.
<@perigrin> EXECUTION QUERY PLAN [[ wander around for a bit, drink some 
            tea, then throw an exception to piss off mst ]]
%
<@Nicholas> Gatling gun++ # more efficient than a clue-by-four when 
            presented with a large problem.
%
<@mst> meh, chainsaw one person badly enough the rest get spattered with bits
<@mst> the survivors tend to decide to listen to you.
<@gellyfish> ANYONE ELSE WANT TO "NEGOTIATE"?
%
<@baud> he looked better towards the end of that interview.
<@ubu> if by "better" you mean "appeared to be within shouting distance 
       of reality despite all other evidence", then, yes.
  (#axkit-dahut on $politician)
%
<@blblack> emacs-- # needs foot pedals
%
-!- avinash240 [fwuser@crlspr-69.65.65.40.myacc.net] has quit [Quit: 
    Think your current client is sexy? Check out Bersirc 2.2!]
<@xantus> "Think your current client is sexy?  You might be out of work 
          due to sexual harassment"
%
< kd> war is peace, hate is love and fucking is virginity
< ank> unzip;strip;touch;finger;mount;fsck;more;yes;fsck;fsck;fsck;umount;sleep
%
<@denny> my boss just asked the technical staff to work out a rota 
         between ourselves to determine which one of us would actually 
         try to be on time each day
%
<@dngor> moo
 * xb95 milks dngor.
 * dw drinks it
%
< dnm> .... screw you guys.  That's too much work.
< dnm> I'm all about the chloroform and rophynol.
< dnm> ... uh.. you should probably forget I said that.
%
< Doc> but they have sheep
< Penguin> so does wales
< Phated> But NZ sheep are friendlier.
%
< Phated> But NZ sheep are friendlier.
<@mst> ...
< Phated> ... not that way :(
< Phated> It was more receptive to petting... not that way either!
%
 * kd considers what the emoticon for vulva would be
%
<@Nicholas> hide!
-!- Nicholas is now known as |
<@grue> Nicholas: just the person I was stalking too!
<@|> gah. not thin enough
%
< nigel> wonder if I could make a business out of selling turing certificates
<@quicksilver> how long have you thought you could make a business out of
               selling turing certificates?
%
<@DrHyde> i love plan9. it's utterly impractical and charmingly bonkers. 
          a bit like haskell, and french.
%
 * trym|work gives Penguin some jizz
< trym|work> draw with that
 * Penguin draws on trym|work with his special pen
< trym|work> eww
%
 * acme hits the data with the stick of cleansing
<@hex> blessed be the stick.
%
<@snarfy> centipedes? in *my* vagina?
%
<@gellyfish> HELP HELP I'M GIVING VBA MIGRATION ADVICE
<@mstevens> SEND SERVER SOUTH FOR WINTER
%
We have ferrets, rats and mice, not so much. See fuzzy notice rat, see
fuzzy get happy, see rat watch life flash before it's beady little
eyes, see fuzzy play with rat, see fuzzy moping around because his rat
broke. See me clean up bits of rat. -- Jim Richardson in the monastery
%
<@mst> ORBITAL ANVIL DELIVERY SYSTEM
 * Penguin breaks
< Penguin> I misread anvil as anal :-S
%
I'm not entirely convinced that *anyone* speaks Dutch.  It sounds just
like German to me, only with more spitting.
 -- Michel Buijsman, in a.s.r
%
<@jrockway> java is fine
<@jrockway> it's functional, it's GPL
<@jrockway> sounds good to me
<@kd> it's more verbose than my wife ;)
%
<@jrockway> NOTE TO SELF:  DON'T TURN ON CAPS LOCK AND THEN REBIND CAPS 
            LOCK TO CONTROL
%
<@Penguin> I seem to have a small fanta bottle, half filled with white
           fluid on top of a post it note saying "lunch" :-S
 * Penguin backs away from the fridge
%
<@ningu> I wonder if it is a crime to live in berkeley and never have 
         smoked pot
< groditi> naa. its only a city ordinance
%
<@phaylon> everytime I start up kde I think "Is this thing supposed to 
           run on a cluster?"
%
-!- xantus is now known as purl
 * purl rapes dw
-!- purl is now known as xantus
<@xantus> noone saw me do it, you can't prove anything
%
 * jshirley curses at the monkeys.
<@jshirley> bad monkeys
<@jshirley> @array = SELECT * FROM foo;  splice(@array, 0, 50); # PAGINATION!
<@jshirley> ...
%
<@mst> jshirley: http://trout.me.uk/quotes.txt
<@jshirley> thanks.
<@jshirley> My frustration is nothing more than a bumper sticker to you.
<@jshirley> Asshole :P
%
< abraxxa> you know, my brain is like ram you power off every night...
< joel> well, see you at YAPC::EU then
< joel> I'll be the one with a giant boxing glove labelled RTFM
< joel> beating you repeatedly
%
<@jshirley> I should sponsor cp80 as a friend ($100) with the name of
            Mike Hunt-Hurtz or something asinine like that.
<@jrockway> IT HURTS BECAUSE OF PORN
<@jrockway> (on port 80)
%
< blblack> anyone happen to know if macbookpro keyboard keys can be 
           popped on/off without damanging anything to clean under them?
< pavelgolubev> mepoppedspace...
< pavelgolubev> blblack, yes :)
%
<@jrockway> if ( $New ) { code } if ($New) { more code } if (exists
            $brain) { i wouldn't code like this }
<@groditi> before making tools that lower the barrier to entry, some
           people should consider whether the barrier really needs lowering
%
< EvanCarroll> PAYPERCLICKANDAFFILIATEPROGRAM.COM Price: $1,150.00*
< EvanCarroll> thats cheap, its only like 25.00 a letter!
%
16:44 -!- jrockway was kicked from #catalyst
...
18:34 -!- jrockway has joined #catalyst
18:34 <@jrockway> no wonder there was no activity
%
<@Greg> they were maybe the saddest people i have ever met, one had a
        squeaky hammer and he'd run round hitting people on the head with
        it laughing and explaining it was very funny back in germany
%
< mdk> Microsoft installs in its community of developers the ability to
       be inconsistent, imprecise and irrelevant. Thank fuck that its the
       most popular system on the planet, otherwise we'd all be forced to
       bitch about something useful
%
> I'm Ada Lovelace.  Do I win five pounds?
As long as you don't spend it on the horses or laudanum...

(ABW and Steve Mynott on l.pm)
%
< NOTevil> that was before zeros and ones, everything was just 0000000000...
< mst> you had -rows- of zeros? we had to push 'em up the hill one by one!
< NOTevil> you had a hill?  :P
%
< dr_Poggs> the train computer felt compelled to inform us that, should 
            Watford suddenly turn in to Birmingham, that we're not to smoke
%
There is no such thing as overkill.
There is 'not enough kill', and 'enough kill'.
  - japester on LJ
%
< sheriff> I wonder if I find the idea of incest so funny because my 
           sisters are ugly
%
<@mrben> ms exchange, the IT version of shoelace tying in the prison shower...
     ...wearing cheekless trousers ...with a tube of lube tucked into the belt
< Elleo> this may be the wrong thing to focus on, but why would you be 
         wearing trousers in the shower?
%
<@Nicholas> foamy coffee - UKP 2.00
<@Nicholas> foamy beer - UKP 2.94
<@Nicholas> unfortunately the beer baristas don't give you a loyalty card :-(
%
<@gbjk> WTF
<@gbjk> @minions are gone!?
<@gbjk> How the fuck did the WHOLE day get spent trying to write a 6 line test!
<@gbjk> PAULA FUCKING BRILLANT
%
<@itz> never trust software where the README has references to Ayn Rand
<@gellyfish> never trust software
<@mst> never trust
<@itz> never
%
 * teejay discovered today that our baby floats
%
The kernel license covers the *kernel*. It does not cover boot loaders and 
hardware, and as far as I'm concerned, people who make their own hardware 
can design them any which way they want. Whether that means "booting only 
a specific kernel" or "sharks with lasers", I don't care. (Linus Torvalds)
%
< blblack> I see we're officially in the "everyone report problems with 
           the release that you should've found testing the RC" phase :)
%
< Yaakov> convert USD to CAD
< buubot> Yaakov: 0CAD
%
< mauke> won't perl6 use seconds since 2000-01-01?
<@Juerd> Perl 6 will count seconds since Christmas.
<@Juerd> But we won't tell you which Christmas :)
%
<@sungo> mmm.. sol10 
<@sungo> it's the only solaris I like, so far.
<@sungo> well, where like means "don't want to nuke from orbit"
%
 * kd recalls crossing the us border from canada to 'merika as a kid
<@kd> being the only canadian in the family I was whisked through in no time
<@kd> and they sent my parents and brother to guantanamo bay for a couple 
      of years and I had to wait in the car
%
< sheriff> Surprising as in birthday party of buttsex?
%
<@denny> if they want to sell "today 14,000 people searched for 'arse
         fucking high heels porn'" to a pornsite, I'm okay with having
         added 1 to that number
<@denny> if they add my IP, *then* I'll sulk
%
<@joel> is MMF redundancy?
<@joel> you have dick failover
<@joel> but no hotswap if you're running an active/active topology
%
<@kd> ningu: here's a simplified state model I prepared earlier: <url>
<@ningu> 404 not found
<@ningu> gee, that is simplified
<@ningu> only one state
%
< Zoffixs> really
< Zoffixs> I use my pencil
< mst> I've never heard it called -that- before
-!- Winkie [i=sd@87-194-8-125.bethere.co.uk] has quit 
%
-!- Topic for #london.pm: no more smoking in pubs! yay! next on the agenda
    telling jokes, dogs and blokes in cloth caps - welcome to WINE BAR WORLD
-!- Topic set by gellyfish [Sun Jul  1 07:45:18 2007]
%
"the synopsis is: we were worried that it wouldn't scale, but we're not
worried about that anymore. It went ahead and proved it on its own, using
the much-dreaded Proof by Repeated Example." -- stevey on tibco
%
< ningu> papyrus was reed-only memory
%
<@jrockway> who here *isn't* a bot?
<@phaylon> jrockway: I'm not following you...
<@jrockway> phaylon: jerk it
-!- jrockway was kicked from #catalyst-dev by mst [SURPRISE! BUTTSECHS!]
%
< integral> I think software prices should include the NHS presciption 
            charge for whatever medication you need to use it.
%
<+purge> mst: i have done far too much javasccript this week
<+purge> mst: its made me take up caffeine again, after 6 months
<+mst> purge: ha
<+purge> mst: they were six very unproductive months
%
<@teejay> closest to a fursona I've had was "Betty the transvestite half-elf"
<@teejay> actually I already wish I hadn't shared that
<@virtualsue> I didn't giggle - honest
<@teejay> I'll have you know she reached quite a respectable level
%
< mauke> it compiles, shit it
< mauke> er, ship*
%
20:11 <@gellyfish> WE HAVE A WINNER!
20:11 <@gellyfish> I think I might have finally out-drunk my wife
20:14 <@gellyfish> I'll wake her up in a while and let her know :-)
20:14 <@gellyfish> I don't think the bathroom floor is all that comfortable
%
< quicksilver> if you're stationery you can never be at fault
%
-!- denny [denny@host81-149-176-190.in-addr.btopenworld.com] has quit 
    [Broken pipe]
<@HauntedUnix> ... fucking stoner.
%
<@gbjk> I have a cable tie stuck around my tongue.
<@gbjk> My resolution paths are somewhat limited by a key factor:
<@gbjk> I'm on the phone in a telephone conference.
<@gbjk> It's amazing how far you can get with "uh huh"
%
< obra> Bus error
< obra> I WIN
< obra> I think that means "lunch"
%
< ew73> My family tartan is retarded and game-boy puke yellow.
< sili> my poor lad
< ew73> Remind me when I'm flung back in time and become my own great 
        ancestor, to have that shit changed.
%
Fimbulwinter here
No management with a clue
Only ice giants
  - Shmuel (Syemour J.) Metz, in a.s.r
%
< groditi> I got wasted and gave myself a mohawk with craft scissors and 
           I have little tiny hairs all in the inside of my shirt
< groditi> and they itch like crazy and i'm all in suit and tie today
< groditi> ENOGOOD
%
< talexb> Perl questions must be
  / phrased as haiku; fail and
  / suffer. kthxbye.
%
<@Penfold> do not go to teh intarweb for advice, for it will say both yes
           and no, and look, hamster porn 
%
<@richardc> awesome, I've been joe-jobbed
<@muttley> did you make her breakfast next morning?             
<@richardc> wasn't phoning for a cab right after enough?
<@muttley> as long as you called her by the right name
%
< ton-> "woman Carp" in emacs...
%
<@osfameron> man ci just says "The exit status is zero if and only if all
             operations were successful"
<@osfameron> so I'm guessing -1 means "There was an error lol"
%
< dha> Now all I have to do is learn php
<@sungo> it's easy.
<@sungo> take your perl knowledge. now smash it against child pornography
%
<@drforr> Welcome to PHP. Here's your banjo.
%
 * nothingmuch is resisting the urge to submit a patch to reiserfsck to
   create a 'wife' file in the lost+found dir
%
<@jeek> Weird, I guess my mom is dying
<@jeek> She's going in for bloodwork
<@sungo> for?
<@jeek> dunno, I closed the im
%
<@joel> somebody on another irc channel asked "how do i make a daemon"
<@joel> so i answered it, for like 5 minutes
<@joel> process groups, setsid(), closing filehandles, double forking, la la la
<@joel> and then he says "no i mean i want to incant evil spirits"
%
<@osfameron> I'm not sure I understand how fucking australian soaps are  
             somehow relaxing after work.  I don't feel the need to stab 
             myself in the face with a spoon just because I stopped working
%
<@joel> macbook for rsi? 
<@joel> have you ever typed on one?!
<@joel> you can approximate a macbook keyboard for testing purposes
<@joel> you need 26 scrabble tiles and a block of concrete
%
<@dngor> Your debugging is lengthy and artful, like a Matador.  But 
         that's no way to kill bulls if you're paid by the head.
%
< mst> I just plan to have an undo button next time
< clicktreat> eek... desk fire... one min
< pboae> can you make a real life undo button for her?
%
< clicktreat> btw... i ought to have said... he's got a narsty tendancy 
              to quote file things you wish you hadnt said...
< clicktreat> (or *I* wish you hadnt said..)
< mst> ooh, good idea
< clicktreat> crapppppppppppppp
%
<nothingmuch> i think i need to get run over by a car or something
<nothingmuch> some terrible accident
<nothingmuch> involving brain damage
<nothingmuch> so i can start blogging too
%
<@mst> my cite page is http://trout.me.uk/quotes.txt
< arcanez> *please dont be on it, please don't be on it*
< arcanez> mmm Krispy Kreme
%
<@rjbs> perl5
<@rjbs> imprisoning me
<@rjbs> all that i see
<@rjbs> absolute line noise
%
< sungo> Part of the horrors of living in central indiana is that there 
         are no real dungeons to speak of near here.
< sungo> I miss DC where there were 3 or 4 (not counting friends' houses) 
         right off the metro
%
<@joel> sentence commuted from death to life in loughborough
<@joel> defendant appeals
%
 * frew wishes his project had the word disco in it
<@mst> IRC even has a command to make the channel dance
<@mst> /disco
-!- frew [~frew@firewall.mitsi.com] has quit [Quit: leaving]
%
<@perigrin> honestly JSON::XS, Coro, and AnyEvent are impressive tools
<@perigrin> unfortunately so is MLHEMANN
%
<amy> OUCHIES!!! *cuts finger on hidden craft knife*
<amy> Brb
<amy> Bleeding to death
%
<mst> didn't bleed to death in the end then?
<amy> Apart from if you are a Russian Monarch, most people don't really die
      from 8mm cuts on fingers ...  I'm lucky enough to be a
      non-Russian-Monarch. And therefore didn't die.
%
<mst> did you see the videos btw?
<amy> No?
<amy> Wait... STUPID AMY. How is "no" a question?
<amy> No.
%
<amy> Life is just tough. And some people cope better than
      others. And ducks are waterproof.
%
< Somni> yes, we placed Alaska near Canada so we could be cold
%
<@PJF> Issues of autodie being a hack built on an enigma built on a lie 
       built on a subspace rift aside.
%
<@jrockway> this whole thing has made me really want to follow through on my
            conference idea where teams compete to build a bike shed
<@jrockway> they have 3 days to design and assemble a bike shed
<@jrockway> and can optionally use a public mailing list to do so
%
< kate`> bitwise problems are like flypaper to geeks :p
%
Everyone watching [the 2008 US Vice Presidential debates] just wanted to pull
Sarah Palin aside and say "Sweetie, this is a grown-up event. You need to use
your big-girl words now."
  -- Ted Dziuba on El Reg
%
< cfedde> lets hear it for syntactic sugar!
< cfedde> and yeast.
< cfedde> syntactic vodka
%
 * ijw ponders causing extreme death to the person who thought embedding the
    only serious DB update logic in a bloody TT template was a good idea.
<@mst> ijw: what could possibly go wrong?
< ijw> In his case, extreme death.
%
< ijw> Bizarrely, his main skill is as high-class trumpet player, but he 
       seems to have a sideline in fucking up software projects.
%
< rjbs> I would like to share the only mnemonic that I sitll find useful 
        on a daily basis with you.
< rjbs> Women Give Head Often
< rjbs> where, group by, having, order by
%
SQL without subselects is like a massage without a happy ending
%
<@pndc> Imagine if cleaners were treated like sysadmins. "I've just 
        pissed all over the office floor; it's the cleaner's fault."
%
<@knewt> "In Britain, some 50 chavs die every week from drinking too much 
         Tesco-brand vodka. Every little helps!"
%
<@mst> er, apples/oranges
< arcanez> mst: I'll take an orange, thanks
< frew> arcanez: you have a talent at derailing thought processes; bravo :-)
< arcanez> frew: why squander my talents
%
<@t0m> or patches are welcom
<@t0m> +e
< purl> 2.71828182845905
<@mst> purl++
%
<@t0m> Or don't use things that shit all over global state by requireing them.
<@t0m> -e
< purl> -2.71828182845905
<@t0m> Oh, for fucks sake
%
<@perigrin> hmm "a circular depends" is that something that happens at a 
            swinger retirement home?
%
 * LeoNerd ponders a Getopt::Longer, with support for 'required' options
< mst> LeoNerd: GetOpt::Longr; # released at v2.0 ... beta ...
< LeoNerd> mst: Hrm.. CPAN search can't see that
< mst> LeoNerd: IT WAS A JOKE
%
< epitaph> sorry, I'm breaking my own rules. Never, ever ask the question
           "why" about anything on this project. If there even is an answer,
           you _do_ _not_ want to hear it
%
 * mst ponders finding the man who invented the "are you sure?" dialog box
       and stabbing his eyes out with rusty spoons
<amy> If you find that man I would like you to replace his hands with his
      feet to teach him the meaning of "annoying" for me.
%
< pdcawley> Judging by the Rails 'community's attitude to Perl, I think 
            they're mostly of a generation that grew up thinking that PHP 
            has always been a real language and not just a malignant Perl 
            based templating system that metastasized.
%
<@t0m> The correct solution is orange. Paint your monitor orange, 
       and I promise all code displayed will be race condition free.
<@t0m> The last statement may have contained up to one lie.
%
WHERE IS THE FILE
IT IS IN THE BASH HISTORY
WHO HAS THE FILE OPEN
ME I ACCIDENTALLY PRESSED ENTER
%
<@sungo> I realized something yesterday
<@sungo> Watchmen was released on dvd/blueray yesterday.
<@sungo> I watched dr manhattan's giant dong swing around for 3 hours
<@sungo> motherfucker needed to put on some pants
%
<t0m> Hey. I'm crap at notice, but if you're around some time on the 
      weekend then I'll be in town if you fancy a beer or something :)
<t0m> I remembered when I read my email this morning and GCal had mailed 
      me 'you forgot to pack your shit didn't you!'
%
< buu> keriati: Did you know thanks actually has 6 letters?
%
<@DrHyde> wine++ # but not too much. ouch.
<@wethrin> port++ # Often better than wine
<@theorbtwo> aft++ # always lefter then port.
%
<@sungo> india just launched a nuclear sub
<@sungo> can you imagine the smell inside that sub?
%
<@osfameron> summon a lower quality paper bag that I could more
             realistically attempt to code my way out of
%
<@DrHyde> meh, what's a few miles of water between friends :-)
<@bob> wet mostly
%
<@rjbs> when you're done, you shake it (to empty the pages) and re-shelve
< chargrill> like an etch-a-sketch
<@rjbs> or a baby
< chargrill> yes, shaking empties babies nicely
%
<@perigrin> ~ My daddy left home in 2003 / didn't leave much 
            to the  porters and me / just this old runtime and a a bunch of 
            TODOs  ~
<@perigrin> -- A Language Named Perl
%
< mst> hmm. the answer to that is both 'yes', and 'no'. also, 'breadsticks'.
< phaylon> mst: you start to sound like a vorlon again
< mst> yes.
< phaylon> I knew you'd say that.
%
<Dianora> GO AWAY you stupid stupid man
<Dianora> I am going to ignore this moron and have breakfast.
<Dianora> I bet you are one of those smart asses that goes into grocery stores
          asking for refunds because your box of grapenuts has no grapes in it.
%
<@tannie> I had two
<@tannie> and as always, I ate while drinking booze
<@tannie> except, I ate the fruit from the sangria
 * tannie coughs
%
<+epitaph> ain't no fun if the spray doesn't hit your face
< sng> epitaph: They're talking about sailing not sex...
%
< frew> because the server runs windows too
<@robkinyon> you're getting fucked from both ends
<@mst> purl, frew is also spitroasted by win32
< purl> okay, mst.
%
<expectrix> Yeah, definitely Monday here too.
<expectrix> seriously it's like I'm Network Mommy some days
<expectrix> "no, you can't have any more juice!"
%
<@hobbs> distributed fault-tolerant cocksucking?
<%dhoss> hobbs: exactly
<@hobbs> I can get behind that.
<%dhoss> hobbs: but there's an average of 200 inserts/second!
%
<@perigrin> obra: depends on what you set it to ... ord('MST IS A
            WANKER').time then "yes" that would be rude.
<@obra> perigrin: I think mst would be upset if I used such a pedestrian
        slur against him
%
< ernci> iv successfully removed all scripting stuff from my computer (perl,
         and bash(?) idk mb same thing), but now the command perl -e
         'exec("ls");' doesnt work but ls does, also comes up with lots of
         errors when posting or booting(?) and wont read my disk array?
%
<@teejay> <wildlife_documentary>..and here we see an incredibly rare event..
   #london.pm has strayed far beyond it's usual topic of beer, ponies and the
   folly of human life and into the field of programming. Local tribes have
   legends of this occuring, but never before has it been captured on film
%
<amy> My... My recycle bin just ate itself....
%
< kentnl> mst: I know a guy who didn't stop drinking for 6 months solid
< kentnl> at the time, I think they referred to it as "university"
%
<@obra> . o { "Oh, did we say you'd won a million quid?
        We meant a million squid" }
%
-!- dhoss [~dhoss@dopple.ion0.com] has joined
<@geoffeg> HAI DHOSS, HOLD ON TIGHT THIS TIME
< dhoss> this is the most people we've had in here for a while
-!- dhoss [~dhoss@dopple.ion0.com] has quit [Killed (mst (one less now))]
%
< mauke> today's advice: order pizza, pay with snakes
< apeiron> also: breadsticks
%
< frew> the only time a guy ever got fired because of soemthing like that
        was because he watched so much porn that he somehow got it on a
        build machine that got sent to a customer.
%
< Debolaz> When I say wrong, I don't mean "oh, there's a mistake there",
           I mean "its existance itself is an error"
%
-!- mode/#perl [+o mst] by ChanServ
<@mst> Jafet: *CARE BEAR STARE*
< Jafet> Aieee
-!- Jafet [n=Jafet@unaffiliated/jafet] has left #perl []
%
< dnm> I'm going to write a book.
< dnm> It's going to be called, "how to write a shitty programming language."
< dnm> It will be the source code to php verbatim.
%
21:20 <buu> 13:20 [freenode] -!- #perl Cannot join channel (throttled)
21:21 -!- buu [i=buu@erxz.com] has joined #perl
21:21 < buu> SUCCESS
21:21 -!- buu was kicked from #perl by mst [FAILURE]
%
<@sungo> I'm playing fable II for the billionth time
<@sungo> I just dug up a spot where my dog indicated there was treature
<@sungo> and found.... a condom
<@sungo> who buries condoms?
%
<@sungo> MYSQL YOUR ERROR REPORTING SUCKS ANCIENT CRUSTY HORSE COCK
%
 * mst nukes buu from orbit
 * buu bursts into bloom.
%
< sys> when you have the right tool to solve the problem everything just 
       goes smoothly
< pragma_> And if you don't have the right tool, there's always Java.
%
<@SlayerXP> you spelt "not capable of finding their arse with both hands, an
            atlas, and the services of a professional arse finder" wrong.
%
<@sungo> some day, I'm going to drive to his house and hit him with a shovel
         until he realizes he knows NOTHING ABOUT IMPLEMENTING ANYTHING
%
<@davorg> I have about 100 ZWD in notes somewhere. That's the 1st ZWD.
<@davorg> I use it as a bookmark.
%
<@perigrin> chargrill: no I'll abandon programming and data migration and 
            instead do something useful with my life ... like become a Mime
<@perigrin> or possibly a disease vector.
%
"I have to say, reCAPTCHA is one of the most elegant solutions I've ever
seen to a problem.  It's not even killing two birds with one stone, it's
killing two birds with one of the birds."
  - Thaelon on slashdot - http://xrl.us/bfmg6t
%
<@_Dave> shit shave shag shower
<@wethrin> in that order? :)
<@_Dave> depends how dirty you like the anal action
<@tannie> and switching away from the channel again
%
> oops did you drop your pacifier again?

I tried using my son's pacifier, but it brought me no comfort.
Any other suggestions?                             -- lucasoman.blogspot.com
%
<Random> we had a USian in the soho office. always carried a gas mask and
         other gubbins in some sort of tube attack survival kit
<Random> I pointed out that here we just blow shit up and he'd probably find
         a fire extinguisher more useful... he worked from home for a week.
%
 * snow hides from his own mind
< snow> someone just said "Sorry for not reply, my pizza came"
< snow> my first image was 'melted cheese bukkake'
%
< huf> it's actually somewhat entertaining to watch retards crash
       into brick walls
-!- nadim_jfdi was kicked from #perl by mst
< huf> brick wall intersected.
%
 * Alias hangs around for another half an hour until it is 
   simultaneously BOTH 2am and 3am
%
< Jedit> Arwen: FOX News has a very flexible relationship with the truth.
< Jedit> In fact, I believe they've agreed to a trial separation where 
         they can see other people.
%
< perlmonkey2> mst: the postgres people already set me straight on that.  
               Apparently only a blithering idiot would use caps, and using
               underscores makes you part of an elite group of fighting ninjas
               who all drive Ferraris to work.  I get it, use underscores :P
%
-!- test [i=3edb7b6a@gateway/web/freenode/x-sljagsssqkajbsyl] has joined ##c
-!- mode/##c [+b *!*@gateway/*] by ChanServ
-!- test was kicked from ##c by ChanServ [Banned: 
    too*many*trolls*through*gateways,*connect*like*a*real*person]
%
< joel> Test::Builder::Tester just blew the roof off my skull
%
<@sungo> I put a bible onto an microsd card just so I could shove it up 
         my ass and poop it back out
%
use strict; use warnings FATAL => 'all';
BEGIN { $^H |= 0x602; ${^WARNING_BITS} |= ("\xff"x11)."?" }
%
-!- Sessifet [rooms@82.132.139.201] has quit [Quit: I meant to do that.
    Then again, I may not have. ]
-!- Sessifet [rooms@82.132.139.10] has joined #afp
< Sessifet> Wrong button!
%
 * Jedit wonders how you smoke PDP-11 assembler
< pol> Jedit: 16 bits at a time, and in a structured manner
%
< chaplja> Zhivago: I'd like to ask a question. Two in fact.
< Zhivago> Everyone should have something to aspire to.
%
<@Trelane> Do we have any working debuggers or not?
<@Zefram> your brain is the debugger
<@Trelane> that's what I'm trying to avoid using
%
< dhoss> Caelum: i want to refactor your C::H::DBIC stuff and see you
         laugh at my code
< Caelum> masturbation doesn't excite me anymore either
%
< purge> hmph. i just met the most arrogant of mail servers
< purge> 550 This message is spam and is rejected.
< quicksilver> the customary reply is
< quicksilver> 551 Your Mom is spam, but I didn't reject her.
%
 * waltman just solved a problem for someone on the PLUG mailing list
    with a 25 char perl one-liner :)
<@waltman> now he's got two problems :)
%
  /*
   * Adieu.
   */
  exit(0);
%
"Source Safe is not source control software.  At best, it's a fat random
byte generation layer on top of the file system or network stack."
  -- Mark of lexparse.com
%
<jjl> nails are so 1900s. these days it's all about irony in weapons.
      sharp edges of a debian dvd for example
<mst> I prefer steel nails; they're already pretty irony.
<jjl> i think i just *said* 'groan'
%
< Neth> what problem is sharepoint supposed to solve?
< pol> Microsofts lack of cashflow
%
< random> though life would at this point be much improved
          by knowing the whereabouts of my tweezers
< random> ..well that was easy.
< random> I just trod on them
%
<@sungo> the horde is upon me
<@sungo> and I'm fresh out of pipe bombs
%
1 minute: Discovering code wasn't chmod'ed +x on deploy
2 minutes: Fixing code and verifying it runs now
12 minutes: Explaining to client sysadmin precise meaning of the word
  'eviscerated' and how to avoid it applying to him in the future
%
<@sungo> my oldest cat likes to jump in the litter box before litter has
         been added. I then pour litter on the cat.
<@sungo> we've been doing this for 6 years now. motherfucker knows how
         this works.
%
< hercynium> I still need to have sex in intercourse, pa
%
< Labrat> Starbucks should come with a warning alright: You are being
          overcharged for a cup of liquid that would make a proper
          barista eat his gun
%
The way to stop this collective madness is, of course, to get a committee on
that and get a decent standard together.  No, wait . . . . you wanted sane.
[kills self]
    - http://www.dadhacker.com/blog/?p=1161
%
< marcus> B IS FOR BUGGER
< marcus> C IS FOR CAKE
< marcus> D IS FOR DEATH
< marcus> E IS FOR RAVES
%
<fspeiser> I find that the only downside to doing releases earlier in the
           week is that business owners can think of more stuff to
           complain about before the weekend comes and they forget what
           they wanted
%
< Gid> Actually, I've always recommended that newly-wed husbands beat
       their wives..
< Gid> beat them to the hoovering, beat them to the washing-up, beat then
       to emptying the rubbish bins..
%
 * apeiron fails
 * mst swaps in a new redundant minion
<@stevan> ohh, hotswappable minions
<@rjbs> I didn't know you were into redundant arrays of professional employees
%
<@waltman> There should be a law against what my aunt does to asparagus
<@nperez> it is called sodomy and it is a law
%
< Nacmac> you mama so fat it takes TWO warlocks to summon her
%
< rozallin> I got a letter from the DWP which read "So uh... what *is*
            your name?"
< apeiron> oh wow. I so would've responded with "I AM VISHNU, DESTROYER
           OF WORLDS"
%
#p5p <@obra> Ok. Bacon and Eggs time. & # swine before perl
%
< TorgoX> tchrist was from the stratum of people who thought pod was a
          cheap and easy macro-preprocessor to nroff, and that's ALL.  So
          if you got bonked output, you just put it in debug mode and
          looked at the troff and said "oh, right" and fixed your nroff.
%
-!- mode/#perl [+b *!*@75.108.216.100!##php] by apeiron
<@apeiron> Next time he gets ##freebasic.
%
<@sungo> it's part of my complaint with sci fi future space ships
<@sungo> if computers are in charge, some faggot will use php for a cli
         app and I'll end up inside out thanks to a transporter accident
%
< hex> purl, be dhoss is also |<reply>if you're into
       stapling floppy veiny nasty ass old woman tit then sure
<@dhoss> ...
<@dhoss> facebook--
%
<@mst> mateu: really, anything that fucking loads :)
< mateu> i can blow a load does that count?
<@t0m> does for your mom
<@marcus> mateu: Please don't stick your dick into HTTP-Body
%
< DeadZen> debugging that in yaws though was pretty hard though
< DeadZen> sorry too much redundancy in my diet
%
<@rjbs> Everything I know about England, I learned from Blackadder.
%
Your generation did not invent the facepalm. It's probably been around since
the caveman days; I can easily imagine Throg hitting his head repeatedly on
a rock when Grognak tried to nasaly insert Fire again.
  - The View from Mt. Deja Vu - http://www.dadhacker.com/blog/?p=1188
%
If you thought "Um, what's the the problem with that?" while reading any of
the above, I don't want to know about it. Please go get a job at a competitor.
  - The Usual Madness - http://www.dadhacker.com/blog/?p=975
%
< ew73> So, Geo::Coder::US # Neat module.  requires downloading a metric
        shitton of data, and processing 24 more more imperial shittons of
        data to make a half-shitton berkley db file.
< ew73> NOTE THE UNIT SWITCH.  It is relevant to the pun.
%
<@tomboh> AAARGH!
<@tomboh> I have figured out the cause of my mail server problem
<@tomboh> I spelt my mum's name wrong :(
%
< dwu> i believe I will send feedback. "instead of bearclaw, which i 
       believe to be the correct interpretation, (b) became beer. would 
       not emote again. A-----"
%
<seven> Bull semen tastes of unborn cows. It's like liquid hamburger.
%
<@sungo> YOU BORE ME RIGHT ROUND BABY RIGHT ROUND
%
< fspeiser> if you have any really simple questions that can be found in 
            easily available online documentation, please refer them to mst
< fspeiser> he normally replies with a gracious and tempered response
< fspeiser> and then sends you a picture of a puppy
%
<@Alias_> Since there is 1!!!! module in the index that uses it
<@acme> 1!!!!
<@Alias_> 1 x 1 x 1 x 1 = 1
<@Alias_> !
%
<@confound> but that isn't what you asked originally
<@confound> <ask> I'm running Moose on a 2ghz P4 under linux 2.6.25.  if 
            I have a set of objects, what should I use?
<@confound> <ask> also I am wearing pants
%
On Avatar:
<@sungo> beyond that, it's a romantic drama involving very tall smurfs
%
< avar> It used to be the case that all of git's errors could be 
        replaced with "FUCK YOU" with no loss of information
%
< purge> facebook serves more than 150000 requests a second. impressive
< purge> shame they still cant make the fucking photo browser work.
%
 * hercynium developed a rule early on - any woman who goes nuts over a 
    "weekaversary" or something similar gets the boot immediately
< hercynium> NO I DO NOT REMEMBER THE EXACT SECOND WE FIRST KISSED/HELD 
             HANDS/HAD ORAL OK I MIGHT REMEMBER THAT ONE IF YOU REMIND ME
%
-!- DrHyde is now known as hire-me-im-cheap-an
-!- hire-me-im-cheap-an is now known as hire-me-5-dorrah
<@_Dave> ah,  venda are hiring
-!- hire-me-5-dorrah is now known as venda-6-dorrah
%
<@jhannah> hmm... why is Google Ads serving me "Mature Omaha Singles" ?
<@jhannah> doesn't everyone search for "Omaha granny porn" ?
%
 * sungo just completed his yearly exercise
 * sungo just walked 2-3 miles in 14 inches of snow.
<@sungo> I'm going to go die now
%
<@hobbs> malloc, realloc, calloc, valloc, free, memalign
<@dngor> phalloc
<@hobbs> warning: phalloc arena corrupt
<@apeiron> abort / retry / crossdress
%
<@t0m> Github has more issues than the girls I go out with.
%
< fedoragirl> I have mixed feelings about global warming
< fedoragirl> part of me says "this could kill lots of people", but 
              another part of me says "this means I don't have to kill 
              lots of people to make an anarcho-communistic paradise"
%
< ew73> I'll admit, I like my code to be colorful.
< ew73> It makes me feel like I've accomplished something if it looks 
        like Rainbow Brite committed sepuku on my terminal.
%
< apeiron> perlbot's parser is, um
< perlbot> apeiron: No factoid found. Did you mean one of these: 
           [SuperJuerd] [safrican wanted you to know about "perl": perl] 
           [spherical ducks in vacuum] [subversion]
%
< Edmund> hm. The Obama administration has lifted the ban on the 
          importation of haggis.
< CraigD> that takes guts
%
< avar> Lisp is an awesome language that generation after generation of 
        programmers has masturbated over but nobody's seemingly written 
        any libraries for it while doing so :)
%
<@apeiron> ~/todo can, of course, be a symlink to somewhere.
<@apeiron> Or it can have a setuid fifo on the other end taht writes it 
           into a coworker's ~/todo.
<@apeiron> (fifo's are way underused)
%
< mauke> <stage2> Portability is for people who cannot write new programs.
< cfedde> my software does not have wheels.
< cfedde> or a handle
< xenoterracide> my software is a paper airplane ... that's on fire
%
<@clkao> useless airporr
<@clkao> tpe air cpnteol equipmwnt failed
<@clkao> one take off eveey 8min
<@clkao> must be software
%
<mst> so the question is: how much "I told you so" can I get away with 
      without risking damage to my relationship or my genitalia
<perigrin> or both
<perigrin> usually those come in "both"
%
<@t0m> u-foka: take the red pill, you know you wanna :)
<@kd> $foo = [ [1,2,3],[4,5,6] ]
<@kd> $bar = \$foo
<@kd> ^^ matrix reference
%
< kthakore> mst: It is hilarious when people tell me to calm down
< kthakore> mst: it makes me want to walk into their room at night and 
            yell GO TO SLEEP
< kthakore> mst: when they are sleeping
%
   * apeiron hides
 -!- apeiron is now known as |
< |> BOLLOCKS IT'S REGISTERED
 -!- | is now known as apeiron
%
 * acme giggles about reversing an empty array
<@mst> does it play a noise while it's reversing?
<@Zefram> if by "noise" you mean segfault...
%
< nigel> Quiet here today - is there some event or holiday I wasn't invited to?
<@quicksilver> it's St Postgres' day.
<@quicksilver> we're all doing a parade, mst is dressed up as a dragon wielding
               a chainsaw and robkinyon is a fair maiden on a unicorn.
%
< quicksilver> there is always a benefit in not re-using your prototype 
               code directly
< quicksilver> you get to make exactly the same mistakes afresh
%
< oliver> evidence of mst's coding:...
< oliver> # Created by Schema::Loader v0.06001 @ 2010-04-26 18:32:22
< oliver> # DO NOT MODIFY THIS OR ANYTHING ABOVE! md5sum:hE53S0ibqt+FUCK+65pyiQ
 (md5sum 1, mst 0 :)
%
< LeoNerd> .oO( gstrings and buggers? defintely hometime )
%
< tcisaft> Khisanth: I am sorry, but what matters if written Perl or 
           PERL? I only know interpreter is always "perl" (lower caps)
< mst> tcisaft: PERL is wrong and commonly used by people writing awful crap
< tcisaft> I will use "PERL" book to level desk
%
< lucas> that's why i tell people i use PHP
< lucas> for the street cred
<@perigrin> I'm sure that works.
< lucas> well, it *is* pretty ghetto
%
<@ew73> Girls respond to subtle physical cues.  Body language goes a long 
        way toward indicating your interst.  Smile!  make eye contact!  
        Drip precum on her dress.
%
<@dhoss> waltman: meh. my friend has a saying: women are like busses, 
         there's one that comes by every 15 minutes
<@perigrin> In russia, we have saying. Our women are like busses ... 
            that is saying.
%
<mst> mostly I'm just scared that these people are paying lots of money 
      to be taught by me and that I won't be good enough :)
<rjbs> there's a talk about that on the internet somewhere
%
<@seven> politics is the art of fucking the most inappropriate 
         partner in the room with your clothes still on.
%
<@triddle> cron is also * * * * * /bong/hit
%
< Edmund> Alpakka: during the 1953 demonstrations in East Germany, the 
          government at one point put out a statement that it had "lost 
          confidence in the people".  Berthold Brecht replied that in that
          case, the government should dissolve the people.
%
<@Candybar> we can video the talks, technology wise
<@Candybar> it is the agreements the speakers have to sign off on
<@mst> er. previous YAPCs you just ask them. and they all usually sign.
< arcanez> depends if I piss myself.
%
< pdcawley> I have a theory that the 7/7 bombing had nothing to do with 
            Al Qaida, it was in fact a bunch of Yorkshiremen who were 
            pissed off with the cultural hegemony of the South East and 
            were striking back in a foolish way.
%
< Simon> ugh. I appear to have a cat hair flavour pizza for breakfast
%
<@ew73> Oracle, responsible for the fall of Sparta -and- solar power.
%
<@osfameron> nothingmuch++ # kiokudb
<@osfameron> and mst++ # dbic
<@osfameron> 2 great tastes that taste great together
<@osfameron> um, that's kiokud+dbic, not nuffin+mst
%
< ttmrichter> Refresh my memory: what's rebar?
< Vagabond> its an erlang build system
< Vagabond> in erlang
< Vagabond> it does a pretty nice job, sometimes
%
<@mst> "rape, pillage, *then* burn"
<@sungo> look. if you dn't pillage FIRST you won't find all of them 
         hiding under tables and boxes 
<@sungo> and it's *important* to rape ALL of them
%
< mdk> Speaking as a member of the non-coding elite i am in fact 
       controlled by my cat and he is a mysoginist as a female vet took 
       his bollocks away
%
22:16 <@perigrin> reading the reviews from YAPC::NA 2010
22:17 <@perigrin> 1) more power cords 2) more power cords
  (...)
22:25 <@perigrin> also did I mention the power cords?
%
< ner0x> What's the correct way to "die" in a controller?
<@mst> ner0x: T-cut with a katana
< Laidback_01> carefully, yet permanently.  heart attack.
< ner0x> I should have expected that.
%
<@joel> went to a gig, told the singer that her boyfriend had all the musical
        talent, she couldn't sing but her dancing was really sexy.
<@joel> ... holy crap, she added me on facebook
<@joel> mental note: insult more serbians
%
<@avar> GumbyBRAIN: Greg Kroah-Hartman is a total fucking douche, his 
        kernel updates don't even come with a free blowjob.
<@GumbyBRAIN> Greg kroah-hartman is a free blowjob. The -kernel- level, 
              epoll tends to blur the control key.
%
<@aef> A review for a tool box lists two negative points. One is that 
       it's heavy if you fill it. The other is that you may need more 
       than one if you have a lot of tools. Methinks the reviewer does 
       not comprehend the restrictions imposed by basic physics.
%
< mst> unfortunately the rest of the front row was six couples all with babies
< mst> so every scream, every diaper change, I got completely woken up
< wheels> mst: that's why you should bring ear plugs
< wheels> mst: they fit nicely in the mouths of small children
%
< Altreus> (first principles)++  # means I can edit ASP without knowing ASP
< mst> If Some Human Readable Condition Then There's A Security Hole End
< Altreus> End If
%
< sng> ProTip: If you have a cluster and you're having problems but one 
       cluster member is working perfectly Leave The One That Is Working 
       The Fuck Alone. 
%
<@epitaph> I am amused that wikipedia actually has an article on the chip 
           butty. However nothing of the pie barm, which I think people 
           think is an urban myth, like the battered Mars bar. I can 
           assure you, neither is an urban myth
%
< KaeseEs> i've generally preferred a gallon of hot magma poured into my 
           anus to bugzilla. really the only thing that can be said for 
           it is that it isn't fogbugz
%
< xinming> When we use CGI, How do we get the POST header?
< xinming> the CGI module.
< edenc> hey, I just got a new 56k baud modem
%
10:07 < random_> I am basically waiting for Pol to get up so I can have a 
                 shower and so on without waking him
10:07 < random_> pol deserves a lie-in
10:12 < pol> have a shower. I'm watching topgear
%
<@hex> "The spec consists largely of C code copy-pasted from the VP8 
       source code — up to and including TODOs, “optimizations”, and even 
       C-specific hacks"
<@hex> I believe the correct response to that is "LOLOLOLO"
%
< TMM> sjuxax, if there is no '\0' supplied, either realloc or tell the 
       other end to fuck off
< Jafet> Also known as strnyahnyahcpy
%
< tm604> domin: You are closing STDOUT.
< tm604> domin: There is nowhere for the print to go.
< tm604> Your code therefore shares the same unfortunate environmental 
         limitations as a bonsai kitten.
%
<@cwest> I am not going to waste my time shooting you in the head.
<@cwest> There are several perfectly serviceable holes already in place.
%
<@KjetilK> funnily enough, Oslo's main street still carries the name of 
           the Swedish king who first occupied us
<@ubu> BORK St.
%
<@perigrin> "Waking up when you got a baby, you feel like you drank a 
            bottle of whiskey the night before, except the shit's in 
            someone else's pants."
<@perigrin> They need that on Onezies.
%
 * joel giggles at mst's quotefile
<@joel> I also seem to be in there s depresing number o f times
<@joel> i have said a lot of stupid shit :(
<@joel> *a depressing
%
< ew73> I worked on a project a couple years ago that had the requirement
        that at least 50% of the lines be commented.
< ew73> I broke them of that particular habit when I delivered a documented,
        functional product that had a short story in the comments.
%
< theory> mst: Put down the crack dude
< mst> I have no crack. why do you think I'm so fucking grumpy?
< theory> lol
< theory> mst: botsnack
%
15:00 <@ilmari> $ date
15:00 <@ilmari> mercredi 13 octobre 2010, 15:58:55 (UTC+0200)
15:01 <@ilmari> LE KHAAAAAAN!
%
< mst> if looking in the dump does not show DROPs, they are not there
< mst> the trick is to stop, look, think, and apply logic
< RORgasm> mst: i did, i was using a tool to create the dump files
< mst> the dump files were definitely created by a tool, yes.
%
<@rjbs> Yeah, I never understood "it tastes better if you make it yourself."
<@mst> rjbs: I dunno. seems to work for semen.
<@rjbs> We've secretly replaced mst's semen with Folgers crystals.  Let's
        see if he notices ...... <distant screaming>
%
< mst> but $mdk->wife likes it. (ed: Little Shop of Horrors)
< fspeiser> his wife is a method ?
< mst> his wife is a belongs_to.
%
< denny> I think you'll find that research proved that most people will 
         give up /a/ password for a chocolate bar
< denny> offer me chocolate and I'll tell you a string.  It won't get you 
         into any of my accounts though.
%
< jeffl> some guy just came into the office where i'm working to speak 
         about getting vegetables for his restaurant here in Napa call 
         Ubuntu.
< jeffl> his name was Lenny so i suggested he change the name to debian 5
%
<@sungo> they asked what severity level it was.  At my instruction, my
         coworker phrased it as such: it's important but let me put it
         this way. I'm making the call and sungo isn't. So we're not
         homicidal yet.
%
< DrForr> DJ_Vicious: Seeing as you haven't detailed what bot this is, 
          where you found it, what version it runs on, what perl you're 
          using, you're lucky you're not getting recommendations like 
          "Warning: Will make demons fly out your nose."
%
<@Zefram> owning multiple instances of the same clothes is very convenient
<@Zefram> I've worked out what clothes work well for me; I don't want to 
          have to work it out again every morning
%
<@jjl> obviously i can't hold a candle to how joel used to dress...
<@Zefram> sure you can, it's the best way to apply cleansing fire
%
< confound> HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I CHUG PINTS
%
<@pndc> I can recommend Date's ironically-named "Introduction to Database 
        Systems" if you're having difficuulty sleeping.
<@pndc> It's also very heavy so you can use it to LART people who use MySQL.
%
<@rjbs> Toodle pip, chin chin, bob's your uncle, COCK FESTIVAL.
%
< initself> perlbot: increase karma tm604 onehundredfold
< perlbot> initself: No factoid found. Did you mean one of these: [i'm 
           sorry you got your dick stuck in a cdrom hole]
%
< ttmrichter> anykey: SIGABRT is what you send to the manager's mother 
              after you construct your time machine and go back....
%
< PerfDave> Whoo, had my eyes tested, my eyesight still pwns.
< n0body> you get the laser vision upgrade?
< PerfDave> Yes, I can now destroy Python just by looking at it.
%
< nanonyme> Hmm, my coffee tastes like spoon. :(
%
 * tannie ponders what to call her beer when it's done...
<@tannie> the can with the eh.. beerstarter said 'Gold'
<@tannie> so I was thinking "Tannie's Gold"
%
<@mst> mmcleric: currently, you are attempting to overengineer it
<@rjbs> mmcleric: You are talking about building a massive cloaking device
        designed by an army of engineers in order to hide a sandwich.
%
 * nanonyme turns Altreus into a princess
< Altreus> yaay
< Altreus> boobs!
 * Altreus is never seen again
%
<@DrHyde> mythology has been going down-hill ever since one of the
          egyptian gods made the stars by having a wank and splattering
          man^Wgod-juice across the sky
%
<+LotR> why should you ignore easyjet for LON->AMS? it's only an hour
<@mst> I suspect because he hates flying easyjet
<+LotR> well yes, but it's only an hour. how bad could it be
<@jjl> i take it you've not flown easyjet then?
%
<@sungo> what the shit
<@sungo> the drobo dashboard sends a port 5002 packet a second on all interfaces
<@sungo> "looking for drobos" lulz
< dngor> Distributed denial of sense.
%
<@jrockway> an error message should not require interaction
<@jrockway> if it fits in 80x25 and you can determine what you need to 
            look at, it's a success
<@jrockway> right now, it's more like 80x2500 :)
%
<@mst> never ever say "I just need"
<@mst> any time you find yourself about to say that to me, go amputate 
       and foot and stick it in your mouth instead
<@mst> it'll be quicker and less painful
%
<@rjbs> zenophobia, fear of very slow artillery
%
< cwest> Domesticated animals can't survive on their own. They need the
         intervention of a human, such as myself. They get very annoying when
         no intervention is offered. Case in point, my former chihuahua who
         peed on my head at 5am because I refused to wake up and take him out.
%
< mst> useful lesson: uri and I almost never agree. when we do, listen closely.
< DrForr_> And break out the guns.
 * uri shoots DrForr_ at mst
< DrForr_> Actually given mst and uri, break out the howitzers.
%
<@ribasushi> mst: I have nothing to show other than ideas, so I won't argue
<@ribasushi> mst: just know that you're wrong :)
<@mst> I'm not.
<@mst> I am right. I just don't know how to prove it yet.
%
< quotemstr> Using cmd.exe as an excuse not to fix bugs elsewhere is like 
             saying that we don't need good government because Sarah 
             Palin is insane.
%
"Samsung claims that the battery can power "up to 7 hours" of video
playback. If you absolutely must watch Lawrence of Arabia twice in
succession, the Tab would be 12 minutes short of accommodating your
inordinate love of sand."          -- Rik Myslewski on The Register
%
 * p5changes_clone2909 Father Chrysostomos pushed to blead ([perl.git]  
    branch blead, updated. v5.13.6-503-ge160348): Father Chrysostomos: 
    Oops. I need to learn how to use git add.; 
    http://perl5.git.perl.org/perl.git/commit/e1603486
%
< ner0x> I'm in ##linux on freenode trying to help someone. I know I can 
         fix his problem because I've been on linux 10+ years. He can't 
         give me a straight fucking answer. Pretty annoying.
< ner0x> I assume it's pretty much how you feel when you talk to me.
%
< CoolKid10> for school, in 7thgrate ap computers, i want to impress my class
< n00p> CoolKid10: You want to be called a geek?
< CoolKid10> i am a geek:( i know vb I can even make a batch script!
< Zhivago> Cool: i suggest that you render naked exploding ladies.
%
< HellKat> the clock itself is set to UTC but it has a weather 
           facility too - if you set the GPS coordinates
< HellKat> temps right, weather however is wrong, comp says cloudy, 
           looking outside says raining
%
<kaitlyn> I've found, "No sweetie, I /am/ listening, I just do it really 
          fast and jump ahead of your thought process" doesn't really help.
%
< TorgoX> The welbutrin is probably the cause, probably potentiated by the 
          others, of not really being hungry.  Until someone says "FOOD 
          IS NICE" and then ten minutes pass and then I WANT TO EAT THE 
          CONTENTS OF THE FRIDGE AND THEN POSSIBLY THE FRIDGE DOOR ITSELF.
%
< dstorrs> I've got a girlfriend, a company, a personal life, and a novel 
           that I've been neglecting, all needing time.  I don't feel the 
           need to spend my precious remaining tuits learning MongoDB when
           it seems a lot like all the bad parts of MySQL from the 90s.
%
 * joel grinds teeth
<@joel> "you know what goes good with a taco?"
<@joel> i want to respond "grammar lessons"
%
< genehack> you just 'use bitter::experience', run your code, and it 
            tells you that the project is being led by somebody with no 
            political capital and the budget will get cut next quarter
< genehack> so you might as well fuck off and go drinking
%
< ether> don't anthropomorphize computers; they *hate* that!
%
 * denny- pokes denny in the face with a brick
-!- denny [~denny@home.denny.me] has quit [Killed (mst (DEATH BY BRICK))]
-!- denny- is now known as denny
 * denny keeps the brick, goes looking for $ISP
%
< talexb> "A poor craftsman blames his tools"
< Su-Shee> a door craftsman blames the stools.
< Altreus> A poor craftsman blames his fools. tools! damn keyboard
%
<@osfameron> awwww, bluetit!
<@osfameron> I do miss this in the offfice
<@ilmari> osfameron: if the tits are getting blue you might want to 
          loosen the ropes a bit
%
<@pndc> Burnt-out contractors cry themselves to sleep on a pillow made of 
        fifty pound notes.
%
On the morale of the staff of $shop, as provided by an ex employee:
Sysadmin: "Well, it's a job.  It's not a great one, but it's a job."
Programmer: "We're on 80 hour weeks for the next 6 months, I'm going to die."
NOC: <censored to protect you from hearing lots of cursing>
%
<@erikh> gah, stupid heisenbug
<@erikh> inspect the result and it goes away
< \yrlnry> "I have to find this before I run out of cats."
%
<@osfameron> Jimmy Wales seems to be resistant to adblock
%
<@BinGOs> Unladen Swallow sounds like a porn-star name.
%
< ktm5124> Zhivago: When are you going to adopt me? Let's make it official
<@Zhivago> ktm: When euthanasia becomes legal.
%
<@kyriel> COCKKNOCK. Who's there?
<@kyriel> [i have no joke here]
%
<@dngor> That was the second to last book I ever loaned out.  The last 
         one was my Principia Discordia, and that has two punchlines.
<@dngor> 1. I didn't really expect it to come back.  I mean, really.
<@dngor> 2. The guy I loaned it to died.
%
< nanonyme> I swear, some day I'm gonna write code that can rewrite 
            itself so I can just go drink beer while it's doing so.
%
<@Zefram> so if I kill a hooker to make glue out of her, rather than to 
          have sex with her corpse, does that make it not murder?
 * virtualsue moves away from Zefram
<@Zefram> virtualglue: don't panic
%
<@HellKat> void sungo = NULL;
<@HellKat> * *grumbl* void *sungo = NULL;
<@geoffeg> jesus, what is that? a pointer to a pointer of a pointer of grumbl?
<@sungo> if there's a grumble struct, I will POINT TO IT AS HARD AS I CAN
%
<@Zhivago> blackhole: It sounds as though you have been possessed by the 
           ghost of a retarded man.
<@Zhivago> blackhole: I suggest that you work to overcome this.
%
< tm604> please wait, an operator will be with you shortly
 * LeoNerd ponders   no operators;
< tm604> LeoNerd: I think that's use BT::TechSupport;
< apeiron> tm604++
%
<@sungo> what perigrin is saying is: fuck your family. make him happy and 
         come to perl oasis
<@chargrill> sungo: good plan
<@perigrin> do it once and the problem solves itslef.
%
<@dhoss> am i over thinking this? i think i am
<@mst> "where table1=table1.table1_id"
<@mst> WTF?
<@sungo> perhaps you should think about it at ALL first
%
< Zhivago> It's like trying to measure a human hair by using an angry bear.
< Zhivago> You'd need to do the comparison many times in order to 
           increase the resolution sufficiently to tell you anything, and 
           there are less stupid approaches.
%
<@rjbs> Oh, carrying the carseat will suck.
<@sungo> fedex your kids
<@rjbs> I did that last year, and they STILL haven't found the box with 
        Arturo in it.
%
< sie> Zhivago, go to hell faggot
-!- mode/##c [+q sie!*@*] by Zhivago
<@Zhivago> A little quiet contemplation is called for.
%
<@HellKat> mako132: no one's ever bought me a strapon *pouts*
<@mako132> HellKat: have you written to santa?  Included an example URL?
<@HellKat> mako132: "Hey santa claus you cunt, where's me fuckin strapon, 
           i ordered one last year and all i got was a damned speculum"
%
<@joel> "Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will 
        be a violent psychopath who knows where you live."
<@joel> - Martin Golding
<@joel> I can only assume mst knows that he /is/ that psychopath
%
< nanonyme> If "most people" got to decide, we'd probably never have left 
            the trees because they seem safer.
%
<@t0m> strace is your friend :)
<@mst> t0m: he's on win32
<@t0m> ohhh. Hahahaha, bad luck
%
<@pndc> Oh, I have some rules.
<@pndc> 1) I'm not drinking any more of that Black Dog whisky.
<@pndc> 2) Steal underpants.
<@pndc> Oh, wait.
%
<@ilmari> friends don't let friends use internet explorer
<@tannie> enemies on the other hand...
<@PerfDave> Said friend needs to use Internet Explorer to get money
<@DrHyde> said friend should consider whoring. it's more respectable
%
< Dom> Like all vegetables, sprouts should be soft and runny. Unlike the 
       cake, which should be rock hard and contain 2-3 bottles of brandy.
< Yady> Dom: Makes me wonder if it'd be better if the cake were soft and runny
        and the vegetables were rock hard and contained 2-3 bottles of brandy.
%
 * Zefram thinks he would have difficulty joining the Lib Dems aged 10
<@Zefram> since (a) I didn't
<@Zefram> (b) I don't have a time machine
<@Zefram> and (c) the Lib Dems didn't exist then
%
<@waltman> speaking of which...at one point tonight my brother-in-law got 
           mad at his dog and called it a "son of a bitch"
<@waltman> Seems to me that's not much of an insult when directed at a DOG.
%
< jrockway> i have figured out one source of my confusion
< jrockway> apparently there is a library called jssockets, and one 
            called jssocket
< jrockway> the first one is the first result for the second google search
%
<@rjbs> cmutt
<@perigrin> cmuttrun
<@perigrin> runmuttrun
<@rjbs> :P
%
ASR: We took both pills. 
  -- snarfed from Jan Ingvoldstad's sigmonster
%
< seven> I should... drink more.
< dngor> The voices only bring me trouble.  I should stop listening to them.
< seven> dngor, I agree. Unless a voice told you to say that. In which 
         case, have a drink.
%
< dngor> Where are the rules posted for this drinking game?
< seven> If you lose an argument to yourself, take a drink.
< seven> If you can't distinguish the voices from shared reality, take a drink.
< seven> If the elephant tells you to, take a drink.
%
<@sungo> the damning thing here is that I can sit at the table with the 
         ipad, 3gs and 4 spaced apart to rule out local interference. 
<@sungo> ipad: full signal. 3gs: full signal. 4: hurr durr I like puppies
%
< pragma_> sun/son.
< davetoo> that's a pun, son
< mauke>     pun indented
 * pragma_ facepalms.
%
<@SlayerXP> acme: i paid £3.00 for my breakfast sarnie with three fillings
<@SlayerXP> you have a choice of bacon, egg and sausage.
<@SlayerXP> I chose bacon, bacon and bacon.
%
<@DrForr> purl, be jdf
<+purl> Hi, I'm using Perl, DBI, Oracle, a banana, two pieces of the 
        Berlin Wall, a Chevy truck, a pound of compost, a goose, another 
        goose and some spam, but I get a syntax error.  Help!
%
"So this SEO copywriter walks into a bar, grill, pub, public 
house, Irish bar, bartender, drinks, beer, wine, liquor"
%
< Rome0> i don't want to get fired lol
%
< Su-Shee> I'm sorry but 99.9% open source media tools are a piece of 
           shit in terms of usability. they might be powerful technically 
           - but to actually _use_ them: they can fuck a goat.
< Botje> poor goat
%
 * BinGOs apologises for a) Football analogy b) stereotypical racial slurring
<@Zefram> but you're not apologising for invading Poland?
<@BinGOs> I never invaded Poland.
<@Getty> yeah that was me
%
< Aerdan> Bry8Star: I'm only going to say this once, so listen closely.
< Aerdan> Bry8Star: FUCKING DO WHAT WE'VE BEEN FUCKING TELLING YOU TO 
          FUCKING DO OR WE CANNOT FUCKING HELP YOU FUCKING FIX YOUR 
          FUCKING PROBLEMS, FSCKING FSCK.
%
Web 2.0 explained:
Twitter - I need to pee       | Quora - Why am I peeing?
Facebook - I peed!            | LinkedIn - I pee well
Foursquare - I'm peeing here  | Myspace - Pee on me!
%
< jeeger> UTF-8 porn! Wet'n'wild characters!
< LeoNerd> Barely Legal Codepoints
< DrForr> Hot glyph-on-glyph composition
< LeoNerd> "Come see my surrogate pair"
%
< quicksilver> [ad guys] would undoubtedly use a computer for execution
< quicksilver> but for concepts they all used paper
< quicksilver> generally big paper and fat pens
< quicksilver> like rolf harris without the kazoo
%
< Simon> as an aside, Evil Boss once received a hands-free kit from all 
         his employees for xmas, because we were fed up with him driving 
         at 110mph while holding a phone to his ear while we were in the 
         passsenger seat...
%
[andy] the yearbook committee at my daughter's school called me, they
       weren't sure i really wanted to buy the ad "I can haz a yearbook ad"
%
< idn> Right, I go.
< mdk> idn is on the loose
<@mst> mdk: about this hoose?
 * PerfDave gets his pith helmet and idn net
%
Q: How many Surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two ... one to change the bulb and one to put a typewriter in the
   bathtub with the giraffe
%
< Lexie> I just accidentally called cuba.
%
<@mst> mordy: I think it's retarded and going to shoot you in the genitals.
<@ether> mst: yes but some people like holes there
<@perigrin> ether: having production code give you a prince albert isn't 
            something most people look for
%
< Araii> Drama on my forum.
< Araii> It needs to stop.
< mst> that's what the banhammer is for.
< sungo> and failing that, an actual hammer
%
In any city in Britain you can tell where you are from the graffiti. Last
summer I spotted a scrawl that read "David Miliband is handsome," and
knew I must be in Camden. Last week, a taxi driver pointed out a complex
equation spray-painted on a white wall; it was clear I was in Cambridge.
%
< apeiron> yeah, no.
< apeiron> 1. don't
< apeiron> 2. Net::IRC is deprecated
< apeiron> 3. FUCKING LISTEN TO ME YOU NO GOOD GOATFUCKING SACK OF PIG SHIT
%
-!- shminux has joined #freenode
< shminux> staffers, the founder of ##physics passed away over a year 
           ago, maybe it's time to do an orderely transfer?
-!- ravenlock has quit [Quit: He's dead, Jim.]
%
< squeeky> gah, I'm a friggin idiot.
 * bigpresh hears the faint sound of a facepalm
 * Sound of a facepalm
-!- squeeky [squeeks@elsker.kanal2.net] has left #perl ["TURBO FACEPALM"]
%
< thrig> Net::IRC + XML::Simple + Switch.pm ... and then you wake up
%
<@cfedde> In python it seems that there is typicaly one right way to do 
          things... that no one uses.
%
< pol> An IPv4 allocation walks into a bar. The barman asks "A large 
       CIDR?". The allocation answers "No, I'm exhausted"
%
< kd> DRM is stupid
< kd> sender -> attacker -> recipient
< kd> if the attacker and the recipient are the same person
< kd> then CRYPTO DOES NOT WORK
%
< wheels> The thing is that for a lot of the things that you shouldn't 
          really use CouchDB for, you get a similar API that performs 
          better with MongoDB.  Except that you shouldn't use MongoDB 
          either because it's a steaming pile.
%
< Panda> Its easier than Gradians 3. Fighting blueprints is hard.
< Rahm> Panda, that was the worst pun ever.
< mst> maybe he's a polar panda
< Rahm> I take it back.
%
<@sungo> wow.
 * sungo just found a help doc that involved putting apache behind nginx 
    because nginx apparently can't do things like ssl
 * sungo loads the shotgun
%
< CanyonMan> i made a megahal and hooked it to our openfire at work,
< CanyonMan> and when I step away from my desk, it pretends to be me
< CanyonMan> People seem very confused by it, but nobody has walked up to 
             me and punched me or anything
%
< cutiemuffin> mango juice is not better than choking on dick
< cutiemuffin> mango juice feels like you're going to die
%
< valdier> This is perl, version 5.004_04 built for aix, Copyright 1987-1997
< Khisanth> ...
< Khisanth> I think there are people in here younger than your perl
%
< kd> If I named my computers after the different types of surgery I had 
      performed on me, they would all be called vasectomy
%
<LeoNerd> My usual argument is "if you're going to put tabs in, I'll 
          start using other ECMA-48 control sequences".
<LeoNerd> Mmm... such as Set Cursor Advancement Direction
<LeoNerd> "n\dlrow olleh" yas
%
< lostinfog> oh [{((([{<<<{
<@frew> }>>>}][))}] ?
<@mst> these are your father's parentheses
<@frew> did....did he keep them in his anus in 'nam?
%
<@Yaakov> So we heard from the insurance company about our totalled car...
<@Yaakov> It was a 2000 Buick we bought 5 years ago.  We paid $5,000.
<@Yaakov> We reluctantly accepted their offer of $4,600 as a settlement.
<@Yaakov> And then fell over.
%
<@avar> now 30% left of delta!
<@avar> was 70% before, whee
<@avar> This is going much better now that I had a couple of beers and 
        took the viewpoint that nobody deserves a perldelta, but still.
%
<@arcanez> gphat++ # "mysql is ok if you tickle it right"
< szbalint> and by tickle it right: you jam a bunch of feathers up your ass
%
< edenc> the only bang maps I had in 2004 were the routes to 3 brothels 
         near college
< cfedde> there you go.
< cfedde> rule 34
%
< qiyong> mauke, why kick me? what law i violated?
< mauke> qiyong: sentience
%
< f00li5h> if you're on fire, and you ask someone to help you with
           directions, you'd expect them to put you out first
< DrForr> The other underlying problem is if they're on fire they're 
          usually too busy running around screaming to listen to anyone.
%
< apeiron> Because that's smart.
< apeiron> oh wait
< apeiron> fucking stupid fucking programmers
 * apeiron gets a chainsaw
%
< QtPlatypus> hale: Is english your second language or are you a cat?
%
< Altreus> phpmyadmin is useful -- it's much easier to tweak a glob of HTML
           text in a form field than to try to put it on the command line
< Altreus> you might be wondering why there's full HTML in the database
< Altreus> don't
%
<@pndc> Funnily, all of the people I know from Yorkshire drink like fish.
        Probably because there's not much else to do on long winter evenings.
<@pndc> I did meet one chap who didn't drink beer, but it turned out he 
        was actually from the Midlands.
%
 * hercynium hugs purl
 * purl hugs hercynium back
 * hercynium pets the bot
 * purl furiously humps hercynium's leg
%
<@sungo> I have this sudden vision of sex with francis bean while Smells 
         Like Teen Spirit plays.
<@sungo> she'd be crying.
<@sungo> to be fair, most women that have sex with me cry openly.
%
< mst> shame it isn't shaped like a large black rubber cock then
< Renasci> mst just wants one in him
< mst> alice tried that. it didn't fit.
< Panda> If that was the c- dammit matt.
%
<@confound> your users are put off by anything more complicated by a stick
            and even then they'd just poke themselves in the eye with it
%
<@ether> I have no solution for this other than to stay on my ivory tower 
         and try to silo off my code away from the idiots
%
< theorbtwo> He could have tried ringing the bell.
< castaway> we should add flashing leds..
< mdk> And a sign that lights up when you knock declaring "ring the 
       flipping bell 'tard"
%
< michae1m> frew: looks like CSTA might sit on top of SIP (or other things)
< michae1m> like appletalk over TCP/IP
%
<@mdk> timebot: scadmion:conversation about quote in PROJECT:45
< timebot> mdk: unknown project scadmion; add it to the map?
<@mdk> timebot: fuck you it's late and I've been working a lot
< timebot> mdk: invalid duration : must match /^\d+$/ (patches welcome)
%
<@rjbs> wait is "cleansing" slang for a blowjob now?
< hercynium> if it can be used to refer to cunnilingus I could claim to 
             have participated in "ethnic cleansing"
%
< apeiron> Except PHP is a pile of goat shit infected with AIDS.
< apeiron> And that's on a good day.
%
< mst> nanonyme: warning: CMSes are generally a lesson in pure liquid hate
< thrig> * liquid state depends on pressure and temperature. hate may be 
         gaseous. Check your hate supplier for details.
%
 * cat-xeger snuffles and snivels
 * mst hugs cat-xeger and passes the coffee pot
 * cat-xeger returns 418
%
08:06 < shevek> A man is waving a live pig.
08:07  * random ponders what to do to .... eh?
08:09 < random> you can't just leave that one there shevek...
08:10 < Dom> It depends on how happy the pig is
%
< TorgoX> Since I figured out a compromise between sh and csh (give up on 
          quotes, just \ everything), I thought OH SURELY CMD.EXE MUST 
          ALSO   OH GOD MY HEAD WITH A MALLET
%
Person 1: “look a raptor for Perl 5″
Person 2: “Yeah they’re all dinosaurs, hahahaha”
Person 1: “Hahahaha…erk”
Raptor: CHOMP.
%
00:15 -!- sungo_nook has joined
00:16 < sungo_nook> I'M SO HAPPY I'LL STAB YOUR ASS
00:35 < sungo_nook> i hate you all
00:35 -!- sungo_nook has quit [Quit: nooky]
%
< TorgoX> [rousing] "Should oooooold acquaintance beeeee forgot, and 
          never brought to mind?..."  Wait.  Magic 8-ball says: YES.  OK, 
          done.  Is this Ceremony open-bar?
%
<@ct> everything in the iOS SDK is named like 
      itsMotherfuckingVariableTimeCanIGetAHellYeah
%
<@stevan> get your boss to hire us as consultants and we will pollute 
          your water supply with OSS fever
<@stevan> (basically by pissing in the coffee pots, but dont tell anyone 
          thats how it spreads)
%
< joel> "I'm into leather, uniform, and I never practice unsafe metaclass 
        composition"
%
<@preaction> but I thought 80% of statistics were made up on the spot
 * spot wishes people would stop making up statistics on me
%
 * rjbs asks "do you swallow?"
<@rjbs> Very few applicants correctly respond, "I snowball."
%
<@mdk> Tickets f MK ar booke
<@mdk> Ths keyboard s annn smeme
<@mdk> FUCK
%
< kate> edenc: followed by the 'moon on a stick' button, in a new colour 
        no ones ever seen before, on a page I'd like you to guess, 
        yesterday. thanks :)
%
< Supermous> oh bother. spice has discovered she can reach my wind chime
< Labrat> hang it higher or chop a bit of your cat
%
<@kyriel> I incurred an ankle inversion while chasing a bunch of raping ducks
%
-!- theorbtwo is now known as bronzebeard
<@bronzebeard> Yarr!
<@bronzebeard> Wait, pirate, not dwarf.
-!- bronzebeard is now known as redbeard
%
 * Dorward has taken to writing down usernames and passwords on post it 
    notes and hiding them in the battery compartment of remote controls.
%
<@PerfDave> I'm sure most perl mongers would forego a pint to save a pony
            from being shot.
<@mst> depends. do I get to eat the pony afterwards?
<@richardc> I might have someone hold my pint while I shoot it
%
> We, as their ops team, have informed them that, as java developers, they 
> should be used to getting fucked in the ass. We're just going to 
> shove one more thing up there.
What's one more dick when you already have XML shoved in there?
%
< frew> !!!
< frew> wtf
< frew> there's a nail in this mango!
%
< sng> Real question I was just asked "How do you restart PHP?" 
< epitaph> I agree it needs doing. Remove all repos and do the thing over
< sng> Sadly that's not what he meant.
%
-!- B2BF [~User@81-95-215-194.pool.linky.ru] has joined #perl
< B2BF> hi!
< B2BF> need help
< Su-Shee> need more sentence.
%
<@sungo> cat-xeger: we're just not that kind of person. If the job 
         doesn't follow me home, I usually go back and tie it  to my leg
%
< thrig> I mention vendorisms in the event someone else stumbles into the 
         sideshow-bob-in-rake-factory that is Linux
%
< cessna> -- someone asked me what /root directory was for, i told them 
          it is where the superuser stores his porn collection
%
 * kent\n knows somebody with a black lab huntaway cross, I swear, people 
    should breed armies of those things because they could be a renewable 
    energy source
%
<@joel> ffs Apple
<@joel> I ran Activity Monitor to see where all my CPU was going
<@joel> activitymonitord is using >70% of it
<@joel> FUCK YOU JOBS
%
< TorgoX> I think AI, in the form of ~distributed~ stupidity, has 
          emerged.  Its neurons are Excel spreadsheets, and its synapses 
          are PowerPoint presentations.
%
<@joel> circumcision caused me to be stuck in an office with a man who 
        likes anal fisting enough to tattoo himself with it?
<@fahad> joel: I though you said it was on the back of his neck, not he 
         arse crack. and what are you doing looking down there any way?
%
<@ribasushi> I am going to pretend I didn't see that, and let you think
             for 20 secs before you say something dumb again
%
< mst> Altreus: use Moose::Autobox; my @list = $thing->flatten;
 * sirgrim crosses legs
< sirgrim> do not talk about flattening things while i'm unprepared
%
< ew73> BUSINESS CASUAL IN PORTLAND IS WHEN YOU WEAR PANTS AND A SHIRT 
        WITH 2 OR MORE BUTTONS
%
<@f0rk> purl, be sungo
<+purl> god i need heroin for this
%
<@mako132> chargrill: how come everytime I eat a 1/2lb of bacon you call 
           me fatty mcfatty?
<@mst> mako132: he's a hiporkrite
<@nperez> sadtrombone.com
%
<@perigrin> ct: ping?
<@ubu> no route to bacon.
%
<@sungo> phone menu systems need an option for "we're about to put you on 
         hold. press 2 if you'd like us to stop playing this shitty music"
%
<@perigrin> okay according to my modem I'm rate limited to 25Mbps
<@perigrin> according to speed tests I get roughly 12 out of it
<@ct> this is the point where I'm supposed to feel sorry for you? :)
<@ct> I'd throat punch a priest for 12
%
<@joel> Vim(28194,0x100c04000) malloc: *** error for object 0x10189de00
<@osfameron> how did you do that?
<@joel> changing tabs!
<@osfameron> see, tabs *ARE* evil!
%
-!- Netsplit *.net <-> *.split quits: nhandler
< mrmist> did we just lose something?
< tomaw> lindbohm fell off the internet
 * mrmist searches under the internet
%
16:14 <@LeoNerd> Any case I find is either snug around but too short, or long 
                 enough but way too loose and wide
16:14 <@LeoNerd> (please don't quote me out of context, but) my lens is just 
                 too damn long
%
< LeoNerd> You do know, however, if you write a proper C interpreter in 
           Perl, I -will- try running the perl VM using it. ;)
< Khisanth> perl inside perl inside perl ... ?
< LeoNerd> Someone heard I like Perl, you see
%
 * lbr has a non-functional desire hd
<@lbr> apparantly you're not supposed to spill beer on them
%
< casimir> one sec, client on phone asking me what FTP is....
%
< Altreus> the plural of manager is hindrance
%
< Hor|zon> hmm that wouldn't have helped I don't think, after I said 
           "it's just a plain TCP socket I'm reading and writing to"
< Hor|zon> and he asked if that means apache
< Hor|zon> and then we had a blank staring contest until he went away
%
< mauke_> well, fuck you too
< mst> and the horse you rode in on?
< LeoNerd> "and the horse, in upon which, you rode" surely? :)
< mst> LeoNerd: fuck you and the pedantry you rode in on.
%
Day changed to Friday 13 May
(...)
<@sungo> I was done with this day on wednesday
%
Day changed to 21 May 2011
03:55 -!- Netsplit *.net <-> *.split quits: @warewolf, GumbyBRAIN, Robrt
03:57 <@apeiron> looks like warewolf got raptured.
%
 * BinGOs had to get the washing in before the rapture started.
<@BinGOs> er rain
<@Zefram> rain of fire and earthquakes?
<@BinGOs> I always confuse precipitation and prophecy
%
 * Alyssa gives Phin a halberd.
< Alyssa> Because people don't use them enough
< Alyssa> It's a spear with an AXE on it!
< Alyssa> What's NOT to like?!
%
<@sungo> our college radio station couldn't afford the fcc broadcast license
         so they attached the wire to the sewer lines for the college
<@sungo> to get great reception, you had to put your radio in the sink
%
< epitaph> you hear about the dyslexic devil worshippers? They'd been 
           warned abobut santa, but sacrificed a toga
%
"Actors or monads, the state is out there and you will have to reason about
it somewhere. But better you reason about it in a well bounded shallow grave
than in C."
  -- gbracha.blogspot.com
%
< jtal> I dont think firefox hates me. it feels more like playful harrasment
%
<@sungo> I'm glad I've already lost hope for humanity
%
< iHercynium> "we are accelerating innovation and leveraging untapped 
              potential in emerging markets"
< iHercynium> And predict a 20% increase in DONGS IN ASS BY THE END OF 2012
%
<@rjbs> people who can't enjoy gluten are sub-human
<@rjbs> and I don't say that lightly. my sister can't have it.
<@rjbs> but the day I drowned her in the river, I knew I was doing the 
        right thing.
%
 * epitaph runs across a quote from Alvin Toffler: "You've got to think 
    about big things while you're doing small things, so that all the 
    small things go in the right direction."
< epitaph> - work that out all on your own, did you, Sherlock?
%
< sng> The fact that so much of my youth was spent watching britcoms 
       explains a LOT about me today. :)
< epitaph> yes, you almost seem human, For an American ;)
%
< Demonen> Minecraft is _insane_ digital crack.
< Demonen> OH, and I made one plugin I can't even pretend to release...
< Demonen> You type /JIHAD (all upper case, or it won't happen) to 
           explode with the force of 3 blocks of TNT
%
< mako132> i spilled chicken shwarma dressing all over the front of my shirt
< mako132> it looks like a horse blew its load on me
%
< thrig> morse code via USR1 and USR2 signals
< vincent> thrig: I wrote that!
< vincent> but it wasn't a good idea
%
<@quicksilver> osfameron: whats a dancing bear? Googling for it gave me 
               some answers that I rather regret.
%
<@f0rk> excel is not a database.
<@f0rk> GumbyBRAIN: GAH
< GumbyBRAIN> GAH FUCK FUCK FUCK F U C K N UR M O M G.
  (even MegaHALs hate excel ...)
%
< rjbs> WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A DOT IN THIS BRANCH NAME?
< rjbs> KHHHAAAANNNNN
%
<@waltman> I've decided that God must love Christians more than Jews or 
           Muslims, since they're the only ones he lets eat bacon.
%
 * bs338 looked a some C++0x notes the other day
< bs338> that's one scary, scary language syntax wise
< bs338> Womble<Womble> Womble((Womble)Womble)
  (from freenode #perl ... yes, there's syntax that scares perl users :)
%
<@ilmari> someone _really_ needs to create a smoke-me/a-kipper branch
%
< doug> i'm not particularly happy using rails
< doug> i've done a lot of crying this year.
<@DrForr> I recommend more lube then.
< doug> won't the lube just make the rails slide in deeper?
%
< Su-Shee> if mankind actually manages an AI, the first thing it'll say 
           is "STOP POKING ME".
%
< HuntGone> There's an entire isobar of Emos hanging around outside
< HuntGone> Emos or Goths...not sure how you tell the difference
< Kincaid> Goffs are more stylish
< Kincaid> Goths have horned helmets, and are stealing your cows
%
<@chip> hrm.  I wonder if ENOENT was a reference to LOTR all along
%
<thisisnic> I've more or less destroyed a laptop by dropping it off the top
            of a printer where it was balanced as I had to lift lid of said 
            printer to fix a.paper jam
<thisisnic> apparently I don't understand gravity when hung over..
%
<@bob> in normal operation mongo wil only write to disk every 60 seconds.
<@bob> this enables it to be webscale.
%
< yrlnry> I've started using a lisp style for indenting parentheses and 
          the like when writing Perl.  So far nobody has complained.
< mauke> I've started using a C style for indenting parentheses and the 
         like when writing Lisp. So far everybody has complained.
%
< f00li5h> FFFFFF! connection dropped while apt-get installing screen...
           which i was installing so that apt-get wouldn't lock when the 
           connection dropped while installing shit
 * f00li5h hates everything
%
<mdk> hwp13Z
<mdk> F*ck, turn my back for 2 seconcds and the small child has the laptop
<mdk> How did he learn to flip channels
<mdk> I just said random shite in 12 different places
%
<@sungo> ok.
<@sungo> that's it
<@sungo> I'm fucking burning it all down
<@sungo> they've made a live action smurfs movie with doogie howzer
%
<@castaway> contrary to popular belief, the faq is not "ask the channel"...
%
< jkeats> i think the real problem was just the irssi reconnect rate
< jkeats> he got banned and came to me saying that OMG i must be the ALL 
          KNOWING ALL SEEING of irc since i'd been using it since BEFORE 
          THERE WAS AOL
%
<@claes> protestants are quite easy to deal with.. catholics otoh
<@mst> catholics are fine. you just need lubricant and a pillow.
<@claes> what's the pillow for?
%
<@cat-xeger> woh utrnod on the ufcking lights
<@mst> cat-xeger: me.
<@cat-xeger> fucker of unelan animals
%
< naath> I hate the idea of advertising PMS cures to men full stop 
         though; considering the number of people (mostly men and my 
         mother) who have claimed I "have PMS" when what I actually have 
         is a raging case of "thinking they are an obnoxious idiot"
%
<@LeoNerd> LeoNerd-- # layer 8 error
%
<@castaway> t0m: the fcgiserver goes boom, is all I know
<+osfameron> castaway: did you accidentally replace your fcgiserver with 
             basil brush?
%
<@mst> mother mine is 'Sandra Norma Maria Trout'
<@mst> that's confusing enough to most people
<@dylan> My grandpa said to never trust someone with two first names
<@dylan> and your mom has three and a fish. Hmmm...
%
edit/teco/nocommand sys$login:[what.the.fuck.am.i.doing.on.vms]ohgodhelp.txt
... wait, "fuck" isn't a proper part of a VMS filespec.
  -- nrr on twitter
%
<@cfedde> when I was answering support email I had a bunch of macros.  
          WTF expanded to "I'm not sure I understand your question" and 
          STFU expanded to "I think a bit more research is needed here. 
          Perhaps you can reformulate your quesion more clearly."
%
<t0m> And have you ever tried stracing a java app?
<t0m> FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
<t0m> uck you, right up the futex
<t0m> WITH NO LUBE
%
< Somni> Su-Shee: logical users?  rainbow-colored unicorns!
%
<@osfameron> IPA+49A1F IRONIC SQUEAK OF ANGUISHED TABBY CAT
%
<@acme> ow ow ow hot
 * quicksilver shows acme the correct way to hold an iron
<@joel> it'd be fine if people would stop phoning him while he's ironing
%
< castaway> soo.. why does it let me in then close the connection?
< mst> castaway: russians.
< epitaph> yep, it's those damn Russians with their vodka and their gulags
           and their shells set to /bin/true since it's not a login account
%
 * DrHyde receives SIGBED
 * DrHyde hits C-ZZZZzzzzz
%
< ether> no toolchain yet supports configure_requires afaik
< mst> uh, 5.10.1+ toolchain did
< ether> ah well in that case I'm out to lunch and should be ignored :)
 * ether slinks back to her corner to play with her blocks.
%
Electricity distribution is one of the few things that the British aren't
crap at. We're also not crap at beer, although I do have to perform regular
tests to ensure that it's still good.
  -- pndc, in a.s.r
%
 * random wonders what a blue box on a black screen with the message 
    System Disable [longnumber] means and suspects it is "kitten has been 
    playing on me" 
%
< ncow> well this is pretty fucking strange....
< ncow> I've discovered that if you tar (uncompressed) the entire 
        PHP-5.3.6 source code, reverse the whole thing, and then mount it 
        as iso9660, you get the contents of an AOL cd.
%
< kentnl> ie: "oh, my drive has been automatically mounted read only, I'll
          just fsck and remount it rw" was not the smartest move I've made.
%
< kentnl> Its such a fine line between "If you touch something, and it hurts,
          and you do it again, you're an idiot"  and "If you touch something,
          and it hurts, and you do it again, you're a scientist" 
%
< mst> SEO people think?
< quicksilver> they go through some process after which they produce 
               advice. In the interests of continuing to enjoy my lunch I 
               choose to call this process 'thinking'.
%
<dwu> ... I've just walked past a pet store and seen a bald guinea pig. Uh.
<dwu> And you thought they looked stupid -with- their hair on.
%
 * davidfetter comes up with a way to replace u with a script: perl -pi 
    -e 's/u/a script/g' $(find . -type f)
< mstratman> davidfetter: are yoa script sa scriptre yoa script want to 
             do that?
%
<@pjcj> oh nice, locate has --regex and --regexp options that are 
        different things
<@pjcj> I think I'll send in a patch for a --regexen option
%
< perlsyntax> Is there any other tool better then net::pcap
< LeoNerd> Better tool for -what-?
< perlsyntax> i just need something to do networking with over the internet.
%
everbong: i almost got blowed up back in the day.. thats how i got the name
everbong: this lady came up to a small group of us, saying something, and i
          was like "everbong?? wtf??" we started to walk away and she exploded
everbong: apparantly she was saying "i have a bomb" in fail english
%
"Is the server down?" = My screen resolution set to 800x600
"Is the server up?" = I have somehow erased my hard drive
"Could you put it on the server?" = Why isn't the file magically appearing
 (jrhoffa on reddit)                on my desktop?
%
< Edmund> if there was a Third-World Coup board game -- and there 
          probably is -- you'd get 15 victory points for the airport and 
          5 each for the TV station and the radio station
%
<@BinGOs> I had an urge to remember tcl the other night.
<@BinGOs> then I woke up 3 days later in a ditch.
%
< merlinm> what we have now is a bunch of code written by 2 dozen devs over
           3 continents, that looks like (at least to me) regular code that
           was picked up and dropped from a height of about 5 feet 
%
< avar> But then again it's easy to tune MySQL
< avar>  1. If your operation is a hash lookup everything's OK
< avar>  2. If it's not you're fucked
< avar>  3. You want to use SQL as a reporting engine? BWAHAHAHAA
%
<@joel> what is the significance of the exclamation marks?
<@mullet> joel: a line of very drunk men, arses out, "TALKAUDIO!!!" 
          written across the cheeks
<@mullet> cameras-- # proof
%
<@f0rk> goddamnit, I forgot we had no water and tried to wash my hands
<@f0rk> I had to wash the soap off with bud light, nearest thing I had to water
%
<@mst> you have to turn quoting on.
< davidfetter> mst, do you play it barry white tunes? buy it flowers?
<@mst> davidfetter: silk rope and a good flogger. quote() is a sub, after all.
< davidfetter> ugh. ETOOMUCHINFORMATION
%
< xiong> I put my development perl in /rad, which hopefully, nobody expects.
%
<@mullet> Right, so it was modernizr-2.0.6.js that Chrome recognised as a 
          font. Epic fail.
<@Zefram> did it have serifs?
%
< mauke> where are your bytes coming from?
< xchg> network
< mauke> please be more vague, otherwise we might be able to help you
%
<@autarch> I really wasn't trying to sound southern, just ignorant
%
<@HellKat> My irc net is full of furries, (not to be confused with the 
           hovercraft btw), there's insanity on perl.org and the dog eats 
           peaches, life doesn't get any weirder.
%
<@stevan> that was when we pressed all our tarballs in vinyl
<@stevan> such better sound quality 
%
<@osfameron> I'd find it hard to use Mason.  One hand would be trying to 
             type the Mason code, while the other drove a hot poker into 
             my brain, to attempt to expunge whatever mental abnormality 
             or demonic possession had taken over my brain.
%
< LeoNerd> print "\e[31mThis text is red\e[m\n";
< LeoNerd> If your terminal doesn't recognise theabove, it's because it 
           is a glass teletype from the 1970s and you should get a newer one
%
< alpha--> Inappropriate ioctl for device at ./x.pl line 20
< alpha--> >< ...
< LeoNerd> Perhaps the device is under 18 years old?
< thrig> 18 may vary, check jailbait.h
%
< alh> If you play golf with Perl for code you expect to reuse and 
       distribute I will play golf with your head and my nine iron :)
%
21:19 AGH. KITTEN STOP EATING MY SPLIFF
21:20 no, rly. I can't leave one in the ashtray whilst using the loo.
21:20 It'll be under the sofa, and they'll be 6 foot away chewing on the 
      recently removed roach
%
 * mst totally didn't expect that much crack hiding in such a relatively 
    simple piece of code
< f00li5h> mst: caution. programmers.
%
< tm604> Sys::CpuAffinity::setAffinity($$, 
         [CPUs_that_firefox_isn't_burning_holes_in]) # might be useful 
         for getting some stable benchmark results :/
%
<@joel> "Sunderland footballer charged with two counts of sexual assault 
        and one of urinating in a public place"
<@joel> is it wrong that my first thought was "what, concurrently?" ?
%
<@hachi> shit read performance on nfs server, days of coworkers 'fixing' 
         it with various methods
<@sungo> my nfs server gets shit read performacne
<@sungo> because I turned it off
%
< mauke> Mithaldu: map f [x1, x2, x3, ...] = [f(x1), f(x2), f(x3), ...]
< mauke> NOW YOU ARE A MAP MASTER
< Mithaldu> i can't read that D:
< mauke> you need a decoder monoid
%
< purge> mst is using mongoDB? i hope they have a swearbox.
< mdk> purge: the swearbox melted
%
< deever> i'd like to get 'org.example.domain' out of 'domain.example.org'
< thrig> perl -E 'say join q{.}, reverse split /[.]/, shift' ...
< derf0> ${(j:.:)${(Oas:.:)input}}
< thrig> that perl! line noise, I tell you.
%
< jayne> linux's formula for load average is something like 
         iowait+cpu+/dev/random
< niko> s/dev\/random/kde/
%
< GiANTgOOf> (sometimes I wonder why I bother with paying for this crappy 
             ADSL, it's never up for very long...)
< pol> That's the Asymmetric bit
< pol> It's down more than it's up
%
<@rjbs> I forgot about cyber monday.
<@rjbs> forgetting++
<@rjbs> drinking++
<@rjbs> huh?
%
< anno> map /arse/ ? $_ : (), @array; # find arse with map
%
<@sungo> I think my Roomba needs the "stop humping the bookcase"
         software update.
%
< _sri> mongodb is still very young
< _sri> it's very hot in the startup scene
< rsimoes> because the startup scene is full of insufferable hipsters who 
           latch on to anything with good marketing
%
<@SiGNOUT> Breaking News : CERN to announce that LHC has "gone beyond 
           Higgs and found answers to how Oracle does licensing"
<@murb> SiGNOUT: not plausible.
<@murb> SiGNOUT: that information won't escape the event horizon.
%
<@autarch> mst: that's my ass with the light bulb, thank you
<@mst> no, you're the one gently easing it into rjbs' rectal cavity
%
<@sungo> Originally, Metcalfe worked with DEC, Intel and Xerox to promote 
         ethernet as a standard
<@sungo> they called the "DIX Standard" 
<@sungo> it is 100% valid to say that the internet runs on DIX
%
<@cxreg> "This is unix. I can't even log in!" #accuratejurassicpark
%
<@mst> happy new year motherfuckers
<@sungo> fuck you
<@perigrin> she wasn't a mother when I started fucking her.
%
< Hunter> Sodding bird has learned to imitate the low-battery beep on the 
          smoke alarm...
< mst> I can imagine how annoying that would be but it's quite hard to 
       feel sympathetic -and- laugh this hard at the same time :)
%
<thisisnic> man, i've been coding all day and am now very grateful that 
            time-travel isn't possible.  'cause if it was, coding would 
            be fucking painful; every day my future self would appear and 
            punch my present self for being such a fucktard.
%
<@bigpresh> "ssh boxname eject" targetted at a machine a cat is sitting 
            in front of: entertainment for geeks.
%
< Creeture> My puppy ate 2 crayons, some Play Doh, and a pack of cigs one 
            day. The next day was…interestingly colored.
%
<@mst> I've got a great idea, but I'm not sure where I can get twelve 
       chickens and a gallon of lube at sufficiently short notice
< ribasushi> mst: I can furnish 19 snails, one ferret, and 5 virgins 
             covered in oil - will that do?
%
<@leont> I'm about to perlbug a behavior of perl using the exact sentence 
         it's commented with 7 times: 'only "parent" interpreter can 
         diddle signals', but having just looked up the meaning of the 
         word diddle I'm not so sure I should…
%
<@sungo> OWOWOWOWJESUSCHRIST
 * sungo just blew his nose, forgetting about the swollen-shut ear canal
<@sungo> Fuck seeing stars. I can see dark matter
%
< fuzzix> mst: No, no, no, normal and day-to-day behaviour must be 
                reached for and caught as exceptional.
< fuzzix> mst: Every line of code is a 'try' - it's agile
%
< alh> Mithaldu: apeiron hates everything except hugs.
< alh> He loves hugs.
< apeiron> protip: alh looks to be too young to drink.
< apeiron> that's because he is.
%
<@ct> "Justin Hunter has endorsed your work with the comment 'Great 
      worker other than the kleptomania and heroin addiction'"
%
< HuntGone> Flowers and a meal first! You know the rules!
< HuntGone> And not out of  the cemetary like last time. The meat was gamey
< HuntGone> And I don't like Lilies. 
< HuntGone> Not while she's still wearing them
%
< LeoNerd> #define true 0  /* Where is your god now?? */
< mauke> rookies
< mauke> #define if(X) if (!(X))
%
<cheater_> you know, life's better without having to spend time taking 
           shit from socially awkward retards whose only outlet is when 
           they expunge bile on the internet inbetween wanking sessions
<mst> and yet I'm still talking to you
%
<@perigrin> mst: you should see his talk comparing 65 different CMS 
            implementations ... the best half hour you'll ever spend.
<@sungo> I don't know. sex and the 25 minutes of crying might be better
%
< waltman> Kitten huffing is based on the false premise that kittens have 
           souls to begin with.
%
<@mst> ruby culture includes stomping on other people's namespaces
<@scrottie> it's not stomping. just tickling their namespaces. on the inside.
<@hobbs> doesn't that lead to vomiting?
<@scrottie> depends on which hole you use.
%
< thrig> yeah, I knew a sysadmin who wrote his own killall, then ran the 
         vendor one instead
< thrig> ... after the box came back up, we ...
%
 * mst sobs gently into his coffee
<@bob> stop diluting it
%
<@ilmari> Memory::Usage just parses /proc/$pid/statm
<@Nicholas> cool. that's going to work on both kinds of OS
%
<@sungo> I changed a bunch of my passwords recently
<@sungo> I'm staring to think I should change them again to 
         "$old_password^U$new_password"
%
<@cxreg> you dont write java
<@cxreg> eclipse writes java
<@DrForr> In Soviet Russia...
<+purl> joke is tired of you
%
< mst> oh crap, nobody told me your were israeli
< sawyer_> man fuck israel
< sawyer_> er... a comma might be better there
< sawyer_> man, fuck israel
%
The PM said, “This meeting was useful. Should we set up a recurring meeting
on this subject?”

So I stabbed him in the heart.
%
 * mst sets everything on fire for being a pain in the ass
<perigrin> because when it's on fire it's less painful when inserted rectally?
<ether> says someone who never tried to play with anal beads after 
        chopping serranno peppers
%
< asarch> I had an English teacher in University
< asarch> She was from London
< asarch> Her name was Holi
< asarch> She liked a lot mangoes
%
< mjd_> "How many SEO experts do you need to exchange a light bulb, lightbulb,
         light bulb, energy saving light bulb, blowjob, xxx, free porn"
%
< apeiron> SSD++ # indeed
< t0m> GTFO if you think they're a good idea in database servers ;_)
< apeiron> t0m, holy MTBF, batman!
< t0m> apeiron: that stands for Mysql Trashed, Business Fucked, right?
%
< TorgoX> I've been in DENIAL about the W3C doing anything later than HTML 4.01
          ... because last I heard, they had the BRILLIANT IDEA of "XHTML 2.0". 
          But... they seem to have FORKED HTML!  Once into XHTML 2.0 and
          another way into HTML 5.0.  TIME TO EAT A GUN, SIR TIMMY.
%
< thrig> beware that vendors often misname encodings, I'm looking at you 
         Windows and your ANSI encoding.
< Cipher-0> That's because Microsoft follows standards the same way pike 
            follow migrating caribou.
%
<@itz> During the festivities, a relevant passage in the Talmud advices 
       celebrants to drink until one cannot distinguish between the 
       phrases "Cursed is Haman" and "Blessed is Mordecai."
<@osfameron> Jewish lore is truly very wise
%
< spb> there's something quite satisfying about returning home, looking 
       in the fridge to see what you've got to eat, and ending up with 
       some good cheese, crackers, and half a bottle of st emilion
< spb> makes me feel that somewhere i made a good decision in life
%
< kthakore> That ... is kinda hoat!
< kthakore> what
< kthakore> hoat = ??? fuck if I know
<@dngor> I'm on a hoat.
%
<@scrottie> apeiron:  I tought a Bioinformatics class at ASU a few months 
            back.  getting everyone running Perl took *weeks*.
<@scrottie> it's amazing the capacity grad students have for hearing 
            something and then deciding it doesn't apply to them.
%
< kruug> best insult to date: What's the difference between you and a 
         mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and I forget the rest but 
         your mother's a whore.
< kruug> more: http://littleyee0.tripod.com/worldorder/id6.html
%
<ribasushi> <abraxxa> GAH! the cache isn't populated until the data is fetched
<ribasushi> I need to frame this
%
 * rafl (rafl@cpan.developer.FLORA) has joined #ru.pm
<ribasushi> germans overtake #ru.pm !
<rafl> don't worry about it. we're not usually very good at that
<rafl> not in the long run, anyway
%
 * mst figures no harm being nice given he's being
< apeiron> wat
 * apeiron rearranges the words 
< apeiron> oh
%
< Fredz> I like how my /whois shows now "Is using a secure connection"
< Fredz> Of course I use a secure connection bitch, I IRC FROM A BOAT.
%
< mauke> '$' x 6  # MAKE $$$$$$ FAST
%
< triddle> my absolute favorite bug from Arcadia: when a player has his 
           fishing pole equiped and it goes back into inventory a dead 
           duck will fall out of your ass, twitch, and chase you around 
           the map if you run away from it
%
< ________________> Also, I'd bake a cake for christel too...
<+tdubellz> for the second time today, ask again in a month.
<+christel> make that 2 months, i'm on a diet -- too many chocolate eggs 
            over easter and as such cake is offtopic for freenode
%
< dax> today's xkcd alttext: "Don't fire until you see through the 
       fragile facade to the human being within."
< dax> funny, that's when I ban people
%
triddle: I don't know a good drum set from a bad drum set from ruby on rails
%
<@apeiron> if my kid wanted a minecraft server I'd give him a VAX 
           and tell him to set it up there
<@apeiron> FBSD is too easy
<@apeiron> herp derp cd `whereis -qs minecraft` && make install
%
<@dngor> Does anyone on a soap opera ever have just one nice day?
<@negelirelden> Yes, but then they get amnesia.
%
<@ct> whoever made the buffalo sauce at the burrito place today was very angry
<@ubu> you'd be angry too if you had to squeeze a buffalo.
%
<dwu> ...
<dwu> ......
<dwu> ... ... ...
<dwu> Fucking php
%
< triddle> how to deal with a vegan: figure out how much land it takes to make
           loaf of bread, then fill a sack full of dead field mice and worms
           cut in half equivalent to the destruction related to harvesting and
           planting the wheat, and throw that next to their bread
%
<@itz> this has to be one of the most stupid questions ever
<@itz> http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17826515
<+dipsy> [ BBC News - Could teenagers be stopped from looking at porn? ]
%
 * lbr missed perl -E 'say scalar localtime 1333333337' and starts 
    patiently waiting 380 years till next time
%
<@joel> Do people use <abbr> etc in the real world?
<@ash> occasionally
<@osfameron> not just people.  sometimes starling flocks form themselves 
             into "<abbr>" spontaneously.  nobody knows why.
%
< castaway> "That which does not kill you should piss you off so much 
            that you kill whoever did it, which makes you stronger"
%
On Google interviews:

<@triddle_vc> a chicken, a fox, and my ego are on a boat - prove to me I 
              know more than you do?
%
< intgr> Let the benchmarks settle this! :)
< davidfetter> o/` let the benchmarks hit the floor o/`
< davidfetter> o/` let the benchmarks hit the floor o/`
< davidfetter> o/` let the benchmarks hit the floor o/`
%
< mdk> Need for speed ha
< mdk>  a two player 
< mdk> mode
< mdk> Fracking cat
%
< thrig> perlbot: chimp
< perlbot> thrig: chimp VARIABLE, chimp( LIST ).  Removes any trailing 
           chimpanzee.   It returns the total number of chimpanzees 
           removed from all its arguments.  Use with care.
%
< kd> I remember one winter in edinburgh that was so cold that it turned 
      out that dog sitting was a really good move
%
<@perigrin> luckily changing production code is trivial, just make your 
            changes and wait for it to fall over 
<@perigrin> when it restarts your changes go live.
%
@halcy: why is everyone all about cannibalism today
@humblefool: @halcy that's not what "eating someone out" means.
%
< rindolf> Well, technically speaking a hash is the data structure 
           implementation of the Dictionary Abstract Data Type (ADT).
< raj> yes it is :)
< mst> OH SHIT LOOK OUT HERE COMES A CS
%
< sauvin> whilst ($word->is_cromulent) { ... }
%
< rjbs> In the rjbs/OS relationship, I am the sub.  This is why I run OS X.
%
 * perigrin once had a GM ponder a "Summon Giant Ant" spell that 
     basically conjured a 10' Potato Chip ... and then you just waited.
%
<@DrHyde> sorry, CPANdeps and cpXXXan are down
<@DrHyde> i sent the NOC guys a picture of a kitten instead of ranting at 
          them like my boss suggested, and went straight to the head of 
          the ticket queue, so should be back up soon
%
One version of a disclaimer on the 'List of serial killers by 
number of victims' page of wikipedia has the words, "Please do 
not expand the list by killing people."
%
If you want me to explain something to you, try asking politely and assuming
good faith on my part. Otherwise, go shove your shitty attitude up your
gaping rectal cavity, and once you've pushed it far enough up there you can
feel it tickling your tonsils, then come back and we'll try again.
%
There are three types of people.  Those who know what they're doing and
know they know, those who don't know what they're doing and know they
don't, and those who don't know what they're doing but think they do.
(The trick is to know when you're currently in the last group ...)
%
< idn> He wants demographic info about the members.  One of the questions
       is "Male / Female" which I'm going to have a little rant with.
< idn> To quote Captain Jack: "You people and your quaint little categories"
%
-!- robkinyon1 [~robkinyon@4.28.12.34] has joined #dbix-class
<@jhannah> o_O
<@mst> THEY'RE BREEDING
< robkinyon1> stupid VPN
%
Day changed to 2012-05-24
...
< rjbs> just found:
            return UNIVERSAL::isa(@_); # Whatever. -- rjbs, 2007-05-04
%
<@ct> I think my favorite bit of trivia from that movie is that when they 
      blew up the Michael Moore marionette, they first filled it with ham
%
<@rjbs> DrHyde: nm I'm starting to see that this is a bit of a rabbit hole
 * hobbs offers rjbs two pills
%
< mst> freenode spammers are WEIRD
< mst> "ViveElNorte invites you to #toiletbowlstumpsex"
< quicksilver> mst: well that meets my definition of a good friday evening,
               and it's not even 5pm yet. You live a charmed life.
%
<@mstevens> PerfDave: earlier they were playing bon jovi, now it's just 
            constant thudding noises
<@joel> I think I have that record
<@joel> did you enquire where the drop was?
%
 * epitaph wishes whoever is setting the car alarm off outside would 
    hurry up and steal the damn car
%
< sng> They make me wear pants every day *and* not drink heavily at my 
       desk. What kind of bullshit is that? 
< theorbtwo> sng: Are you sure?  Have you tried coming to work in a skirt?
< sng> Dude this is Texas. 
%
<@mako132> well shit.
<@mako132> I think this linode's been rooted
 * sungo pees on the ashes of mako132's geek card
<@mako132> fuck.
%
< rjbs> if msg.level >= 2: msg.info("foo")
< rjbs> for different values of 2 and info
< rjbs> so why isn't there a msg.info_at(2, "foo")?
< rjbs> because fuck you
%
<@mordy_> The Mantissa. A data creature of monstrous proportions. 113 
          bits long and 34 bits wide, it is capable of eating several 
          million bits per second and is feared by all other data types. 
          Watch Mantissa: Return to Ninveh, Tonight at 9:30, only on PBS
%
<@rjbs> One of the best things about a glass desk is that when something 
        seems lost in the clutter, I can scoot down under it and find 
        things from the bottom up.
%
< hobbs> I actually had a beer that I thought was alright at Peculier 
         once, but I don't know what it was, because I *ordered* a Magners
%
<@DrHyde> there is a stupid bee trying to fly through one of my windows. 
          i thought they were supposed to be able to see UV
<@schmooster> DrHyde: I act like that when I'm on pollen too
<@schmooster> hayfever's nasty sometimes
%
< castaway> but Monday is all fresh'n'shiny!
 * Dorward looks at castaway 
 * Dorward looks at castaway again
 * Dorward drops castaway in the pond
%
< apeiron> epitaph, you are in a maze of twisty linux distributions, all 
           alike. from somewhere you're not sure of, you hear soft 
           chanting. it sounds like 'freebsd! freebsd! freebsd!'
%
 * Patterner licks purl
 * purl invites Patterner to channel #botsex.
 * apeiron licks purl
 * purl rusts.
%
try.hs:5:1:
  My brain just exploded
  I can't handle pattern bindings for existential or GADT data constructors.
  In a pattern binding: T x = T "where is your god now?"
%
<@lathos> php -r '$b = function() { echo 1; };
                  $a = function () { echo 2; $b(); }; $a();'
<@lathos> That code should work, surely.
<@lathos> I think I'm going to have to rewrite this in a programming language.
%
<mst> Dear NoSQL developers, binding to all IPs by default when you don't 
      do authentication should require a --goatse option to configure
<Getty> dude, it's NoSQL, that's like telling a lawyer to think about his soul
%
< t0m> I may have to move back to a hairstyle I could iron
%
< Yaakov> I think a zeppelin would make a powerful point…
< Yaakov> Unfortunately, it would be something like, "you lot are a 
          bucket of fruitbats".
%
< HuntAFK> Taking the rest of the day off, dead. If you want me, please 
           leave a message (quietly) after the whimper
%
<@apeiron> I think right now my theory is "llarian threw up in its mouth 
           a little" and some users got dislodged as a result
%
< lexie> I /am/ a genius. and modest. 
< lexie> and according to amy, sweet, innocent and pure. 
< mst> lexie: pure as the yellow snow :D
 * lexie wrinkles her nose
%
<@rjbs> perl--
<@mst> rjbs: AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT
<@chargrill> "this shit was all fucked up by the guy BEFORE me"
<@rjbs> Great, now I'm Obama.
%
< apeiron> I can answer questions. Whether they're *right* answers...
< Kassandry> Well, that's the usual disclaimer, isn't it?
< Kassandry> YMMV, TIMTOWTDI, warranty void in $place_of_residence
< Kassandry> May cause vampire walrus invasions.
%
<@chargrill> cwest: thank gods you shaved off that crazy old man beard
< cwest> chargrill: Only one man can have the ridiculous sideburns I was 
         growing. That man is mst.
%
< Nijntje> why on earth are there small children screaming outside? i 
           didn't even set the bear traps
%
< Caelum> oracle xe for windows is 32bit only, oracle xe for linux is 
          64bit only...
< Caelum> my linux is 32bit and my windows is 64bit
< nebulous> Well there's your problem right there. You're using Oracle.
%
< edenc> I basically dropped out of the research career because I had no
         patience for the gruesome amount of politics that came with it
< aurum> *nod* i've been relatively sheltered from that so far
< edenc> yeah, now I'm safely sheltered behind mst's chainsaw :)
%
<@yPad> This isn't horrible. I could use this if I had to.  
<@yPad> I can type about 25 won
<@yPad> Women
<@yPad> W P M
%
<@mauke> "This implicit use of $_ greatly simplifies the filter." <- fuck 
         you fuck you fuck you fuck you
%
< druthb> I love children ... they're wonderful, stir-fried, with a little 
          garlic butter ... :P
%
<mst> Hey Brian, have you found out about hallway++ yet?
<bdfoy> FUCK YOU
<apeiron> I love you too, Brian
<bdfoy> NO, NOT FUCK YOU, FUCK HIM ... (turns to mst) YOU FUCKING FUCKER
%
< sng> Gah. Loadbalancers have more knobs than your mom at Fort Bragg...
%
<@perigrin> I still enjoy the memory of the British Midlands airline 
            steward when asked by my dad's girlfriend to bring her a cup 
            of tea with some ice cubes in it.
<@perigrin> "You want me to do what to your tea?"
%
<@perigrin> sungo: they have a 30 minutes or less deal
<@sungo> funny. so do I
<@perigrin> yes but theirs doesn't end with them sobbing.
<@sungo> true. but either way, what you get at the end doesn't taste very good
%
the disadvantage of conference attendance:
< cxreg> as i told my boss, "i spent the week around really smart motivated
         people who get a lot of shit done.  then i went back to work"
%
< bricas> oh fuck.
< bricas> my has_finished sub modifies the damn date.
< bricas> IIIIIDIOT.
 * bricas goes to surgically have his palm removed from his forehead.
%
< dngor> Last one to touch the CGI has to maintain it.
%
< Botje> you pronounce it as 'ss', and it's being replaced by ss in 
         modern german
< Botje> it's just there to fuck with people who assume that
         length x == length lc(x)
%
@nrr: "i found where the perl scientists hang out!" "oh?" "#pdl (my head
      canon is that it's the perl watersports channel)" #shitiread
%
<@leont> Crap, some tests are suddenly failing
<@leont> Because, you know, '0.40' is not equal to '0.4'…
<@rjbs> try checking with ~~
%
<@mst> you know how any sufficiently large C++ program contains an ad-hoc
       fucked up implementation of half of lisp?
<@mst> when a sufficiently large DBI-backed program develops an ad-hoc
       fucked up implementation of half an ORM, they call it a DAL
%
< mdk> Okay, officially that is cool. i love chocolate Labs
< Penfold_> need to get him to come sniff at Matt
< Penfold_> and then someone's cat to do the same.
< Penfold_> after all, you'll know more after a lab test and a cat scan.
%
< CraigD> Pedantry - a place of pedants
< CraigD> Coventry - a place of witches
< CraigD> Daventry - a place of Daves
%
<@mako132> i give those cats all the fucking affection they deserve. When I'm
           not scratching my own balls I'm usually rubbing some cat's belly
< mst> learn to multitask? :)
<@dngor> Optimize.  Rub your balls with a cat.
%
There’s a logical explanation, but:
[ ] You’re not a logical person, and I can’t explain it to you.
[ ] Do you want to educate fifty million users?
[ ] That was in the 16th century, and they burned him at the stake.
%
<@dhoss> mst: did you ask them to give you two metal legs?
< mst> dhoss: I considered it, but then I realised they'd be kinda cold 
       when I wrap them over the shoulders of the girl fellating me
<@dhoss> mst: you're always so selfless.
%
< Supermouse> oh gods, I've just worked out why we're having the summer 
              we're having
< Supermouse> if you think of the London 2012 Olympics as basically the 
              country's biggest ever summer fete ...
%
chromatic: I see the value of xmonad when writing: one full-screen Vim
window and one xterm. Zero non-cat distractions.
%
< mauke> I think it's funny[1] how xpath Just Works with html but has 
         huge issues with xml
< mauke> [1] in the "kill everybody" sense
%
< cwest> Whoever doesn't help cook breakfast has to help clean up after.
< dngor> What if everyone decides to clean up.
< cwest> Then we'll all starve.
< cwest> I brought my own snacks anyway. And a beaver.
%
< sng> You start trying to fix the populous of ANY location and you just 
       end up with 90 percent of them dead and nobody to make your lunch 
       for you when you go to the sandwich shop. 
%
<@mst> if you don't actually put any code after the rendering, no code 
       will run after the rendering, logs will not magically appear, and 
       unicorns will not materialise out of thin air and then fly off to 
       fellate the nearest rainbow
%
<@joel> fucking MBP keycaps popping off all the bloody time
<@osfameron> how hard are you hammering them? ;-)
<@mst> try typing with your fingers instead of your forehead
<@squeeks> mst++ # So that's what I was doing wrong the whole time
%
< edenc> ubuntu? you really like sodomizing your machines don't you
< edenc> xp... oh dear, threesome sodomy
%
-!- mst changed the topic of #web-simple to: WS 018 Moo 1.0 HZ 009005
 * ilmari was going to ask if this meant Role::Tiny was ready for 1.0 as 
    well, then realised he just released 1.1.5 himself
<@ilmari> *facepalm*
%
<@mst> I got an audience of about five
< ambs> mst: that is usual, nobody likes you :)
<@mst> then the second time somebody knocked the camera and turned it off
< ambs> mst: I told you, nobody likes you :D
%
< cat-xeger> apparently it freaks people out when your response to them
             having a dead body in the flat downstairs is to recommend hot
             cocoa, a sweater, and oil of rosemary to block the smell
%
<@sungo> ugh.
<@sungo> I didn't wash the Monster out of this mug well enough. Now I 
         have Monster+office-coffee
<@sungo> it's ... unpleasant
%
< random> Thought of the day: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET THERE YOU BASTARD ANIMAL
< random> *ahem*
< Labrat> you have a quantum cat
< random> Yes, but sadly she can only quantum *in*
%
<@lbr> (which is a perfectly good reason that just because it seemed like 
       a good idea at the time, it'll probably bite someone in the ass at 
       some point)
<@lbr> (this describes 37% of CPAN)
%
< Hunter> Also, they're used as incubators for accelerating viral and 
          antibody growth...scientists who have a tiny quantity of a 
          virus *pass it through pigeons* to get a large quantity out.
< Hunter> They're the Bang and Olufsen Amplifiers of the viral world
%
< mst> DEAR BRAIN WHAT THE FUCK TIME DO YOU CALL THIS
< dwu> 9am, dear. You may remember it from when I made coffee while you whined.
< mdk> Had I known this was the way to get you up in the mornings i would have
       broken your leg years ago.
%
<@_Dave> tests++ # make refactoring easier
<@t0m> s/easier/possible/
<@t0m> It's not refactoring if you don't have tests! It's just changing shit!
%
< mst> and christel wants a pony
< mst> ... or at least a man hung like one ...
< erry> /ponyserv pony christel 
< mst> shouldn't that be ponyserv service christel? :)
%
<ashley_w> oh, atmail++ "We cut a hole in the drywall, and ran the wires 
           out the back." 
<ashley_w> now, why the hell do i care about that?
<ashley_w> hey, atmail. glory hole -- UR DOIN IT WRONG!
%
<@khw> How many lines of code are there very roughly in cpan?
<@mst> a fucktonne
<@LeoNerd> Metric or imperial?
%
(@eevee) oho ... mst is poly
(~Trysdyn) What the fuck brain... I combined "Oho" and "$person is poly" into
           some weird big-O notation for polyamory, terminating at O(ho) as
           the biggest multi-directional clusterfuck imaginable
%
< teejay_pic> is that dorset? my brain starts to turn off when I think 
              too hard about dorset as it's so fucking dull
< teejay_pic> it's like a posher older duller version of south devon
< teejay_pic> where people retire to when south devon is too exciting
%
< Su-Shee> Altreus: be happy that you do PHP! "A PHP dev with 2 years
           experience is getting a €100,000 starting salary."
< tm604> sounds great until you realise that €80,000 of that will be 
         spent on therapy :(
%
<@mst> quicksilver: therein, I suspect the answer - neither do I
 * quicksilver notices for the first time that therein is an anagram of neither
<@SlayerXP> quicksilver: i was disappointed to notice that "I'm a 
            shiny-faced cunt" isn't an anagram of "David Cameron"
%
<@SlayerXP> a colleague appears to have just done a subversion merge by 
            using the time honoured technique of copying everything he 
            wanted to merge over the top of what he wanted to merge it to 
            and then commiting.
%
< mst> melo: but that would just make me cry :(
< melo> cry, baby, cry… :)
 * mst leans up in the pram and throws his toys at melo's head
< melo> mst: foreplay at this time in the morning?
%
<@schm00ster> what's a pension?
<@PerfDave> It's a bit like a Fleshlight for Gordon Brown ;)
%
<@SlayerXP> what's actually happening is that puppet is restarting named 
            and syslog the hard way and at this point, syslog wants to do a
            DNS lookup on the hostname that's logging "Starting BIND"
<@SlayerXP> alas the only resolver configured is...... someone at the back?
%
< mst> alpha--: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Cdm_hip_implant_348.jpg
< hippie> holy crap that looks like a weapon from Fallout.
< Altreus> hippie: in the dystopian future we can use mst's corpse for
           many things.
%
<@hobbs> Twitter is currently down for <%= reason %>.
< triddle> that failure mode is so hard to deal with
< nuba> ... finally, after years collecting data, twitter stops to
        <%= reason %> about it. singularity to follow.
%
<@dngor> Depression is just common sense crying in the dark with a tub of
         frosting and a spoon.
%
 * ubu is disgruntled.
 * apeiron regruntles ubu
<@ubu> BRING ME MY GRUNTLES!!!
%
< phaylon> *sigh* I sugared my coffee twice
< phaylon> gotta keep the cat away, or she's gonna go rocket-cat again
%
< mst> your cat is a sugar junkie.
< phaylon> yes, she can also climb like a monkey and thinks her name is "NO!"
< mst> ...
< phaylon> at least she always answers to that :)
%
<@BinGOs> I remember when I used to get shit done.
<@BinGOs> then ITIL happened.
<@BinGOs> apparently the industry best practise is that nothing gets done.
%
<@PerfDave> Buzzword of the day: "Identity and Asset Management as a 
            Service" (IAMaaS). I Am Arse indeed.
%
# XXX: this is just about the least efficient way in the
# world to do this; I should appologize, but really,
# nothing in this module is done particularly well.  I
# doubt anyone will notice this.
%
< spb> oh dear, christel having a barbecue?
< christel> no! i am ATTENDING ONE!
< christel> and i shall NOW GO LOCATE BARBEQUE
< spb> you're still going to be smashed again later, aren't you?
%
< negelirelden> Suicide is just ragequitting life.
%
<alicewaddicor> I remember you are fond of 'pig flesh'. I've gone and gone 
                proper veggie now (well except for fish)
<mst> ah, the fish-and-chipocrite approach
<alicewaddicor> Oi! That's 'pescatarian' to you, pigmuncher.
%
<@LeoNerd> Why is it whenever I'm about to say I can't think of a use for 
           some odd behaviour/bug/etc.., someone (and it's often mst) 
           comes up and says they rely on it for something?
%
 * Dorward fills #chat with ballpen balls
< dwu> balls \o/
< dwu> ...
< dwu> not a word.
%
< kyriel> I hereby resign from humanity.
< castaway> kyriel: well that'll help ;)
< kyriel> Glad you think so.
 * sevvie takes responsibility for 1/7,000,000,000th of the species.
%
< gbjk> Working from home is awesome, but I just realised I never got 
        dressed today. I've been completely naked for the entire day.
< gbjk> I feel like a cross between a porn star and a programmer.
%
<@sungo> goddamn motherfucking javascript
<@mst> javascript fucked *your* mother?
<@mst> it's got less taste than I thought
<@sungo> it's into sealife, what can I say?
%
< druthb> My boss buys into a lot of that HR-self-esteem claptrappage, 
          too.  I finally told him that the sincerest form of flattery he 
          could give me starts with "Pay to the Order of..." and ends 
          with lots of zeros.
%
 * ilmari cries
< ilmari> Failed test 'Found 2 tables', got: '4', expected: '3'
%
< t0m> I am running MongoDB in production. Woe is me.
< t0m> It's really nice for data sets that fit in ram, which you don't 
       mind throwing away
< t0m> outside of that, it's less fun :)
%
<@mako132> don't worry, if you've taken it up the ass once, you never forget.
<@sungo> it's just like riding a bike. but dick.
%
<@scrottie> cheap hosting killed MUD.  it became possible for everyone to 
            have their own MUD/MUX/MUSH/whatever, so they did.
<@scrottie> being forced to share space and resources with other 
            sociopaths *was* the fun of M*
%
< zizibird> Dear toothbrush, I would like to inform you that you are not 
            a penis and that hole in my mouth you so eagerly dove into is 
            not a vagina. If you touch there again..I'll hold you over 
            the stove top. Sincerely, Z.K.L.K.
%
< ether> OH WTF
< ether> I'm comaint on App::FatPacker too
< ether> I just got the email for my own ticket
 * ether runs in a circle screaming
%
< Triplell> they give you these preconfigured machines that you can't edit,
            and if I delete it, I probably won't be able to get it back, and
            this is the most frustrating thing since sliced bread....
< Triplell> which makes no sense
%
< mauke> package Yoda; use parent "Exporter";
         our @EXPORT = "try"; sub try (&@) { $_[0]() }
< mst> do $_ or do not $_
< LeoNerd> package Klingon; succeed or die; # do not return in failure
%
<@ew73> I am about 2 minutes away from ordering you a My Little Pony lunchbox.
<@ew73> I got you one with a tail.
<@dhoss> a REAL tail? because i'm going to throw a fucking fit if 
         it's that polyester horseshit
%
< theorbtwo> Resistance is futile.
< theorbtwo> Your ass will be laminated.
< theorbtwo> Your latex fetish will become one with our own.
%
 * dax invades Fuchs's corner with baby foxes
< RichiH> corner = arse; baby foxes = baby foxes
 * dax invades RichiH's corner with artillery
< Fuchs> I'll be a dad? 
%
< spb> can you see whether it works
< spb> with the password before the one you gave me
< dax> spb: doesn't work
< spb> never bloody happy are you
%
<@SlayerXP> I have been invited to a nagios architecture meeting.  this 
            meeting is happening after nagios goes live.  i appear to be 
            the only person who thinks this is odd.
%
<@squeeks> You have a soul?
<@mst> you're a sysadmin. you surrendered that years ago.
<@SlayerXP> i didn't say it was my soul
<@DrForr> I have one. I keep it in the kitten bong on my desk.
%
<adrianhtrout> That's probably the best idea. Doesn't need a lawyer with 
               any skill. It's not like you're charged with serious crime.:-D
<mst> of course not, I obey the 11th commandment quite strictly
<adrianhtrout> Is that the one that says 'don't get caught'?
%
<@sungo> I AM SO GLAD YOUR DOCUMENTATION IS A TCPDUMP OF A SCRIPT RUNNING
 * sungo loads a gun
%
<@rjbs> I love git so fucking much.
<@dhoss> then why don't you marry it
<@ew73> If you can mary source control systems, next thing you know, fags 
        will be getting married.
%
-!- phred [~phred@c-24-5-76-9.hsd1.ca.comcast.net] has joined #perl
< phred> Is there a Template Toolkit specific IRC channel?
<@apeiron> #tt 
< phred> #thanks
%
<@Trelane> how do I tell if there's data waiting for me in DBI?
<@mst> call fetch and see if your program blocks
<@Trelane> Let me phrase that a little better
%
< nebulous> I hope everyone ignored that last statement, because I was quite
            wrong. Please enjoy the music while I do a TheManualIsJustFine
            dance.
%
< edenc> because no-one has the guts to touch it, except mst :)
< apeiron> I would touch it
< apeiron> if I knew what it is
< apeiron> I would touch it once, decisively, for great justice
%
< Lexie> ._. coffee is better when it's black. 
< Lexie> but human milk is not squicky. 
< Lexie> How can anything that has cannabinoids in it be squicky? 
 * Doc gets mental image of fields of high babies seeking out M&Ms and Snapple
%
< mst> my problem is I want win32 to not be broken
< mst> and I have a horrible feeling that may require me to use it :)
<@apeiron> Or hire someone to care.
<@apeiron> NOT IT
%
< epitaph> I've often contended that the religious right and associated
           groups are in fact postmodern, constructing a semiotic narrative
           which makes no claim about objective reality, and with an author
           who is dead.
%
<@frew> well, I wasn't going for anal, but that's what I was worried
        about nonetheless
%
<@sungo> I used to have irssi automatically filter colors out.
<@sungo> But it's such a great faggot detector
%
<@quicksilver> we got you a pony, but we put him on the moon, on the end 
               of a stick
<@quicksilver> he asphyxiated
%
< teejay_pic> it's a bad sign when you see an angry wasp fly out of your 
              underwear and you're relieved it was "just" a wasp sting
%
<@sungo> dear scientists talking about evolution, the crazies would 
         probably be less crazy if you stopped acting like Nature is an 
         existent sentient entity
<@rjbs> but that's how she wants us to talk about her
%
<@ingy> mst is your cuntryman
<@mst> ... NICE TYPO FUCKER
<@ingy> and the undisputed cunt of perl
<@ingy> :D
%
<@jjl> mst: you'd think given the messages i typically receive on okcupid 
       that my profile photo was indeed a picture of an erect penis
<@mst> jjl: but actually that's just what your face looks like?
<@schmooster> jjl: understandable if it's a double-polaroid
%
<@mst> also responsible for my second favourite perlmonks post ever
< rjbs> o?
<@mst> http://www.perlmonks.org/?node_id=853445
< joel> fucking MAGnet opers, how do they work?
%
<@joel> me-- # confused Bernard and Bradley Manning
%
< apeiron> perlbot, apeiron's philosophy on "can I ask a regex question?"
< perlbot> apeiron: Don't come here asking us about non-Perl regex 
           questions, because apeiron will try his hardest to give you a 
           Perl-only solution.
%
< druthb> The two boys in my house (felinoids) are mean and sneaky.  The 
          short-haired one will groom the long-haired one, then go barf 
          on the carpet, and try to pin the blame on his companion.
%
<dwu> "Train travel in the UK should be a pleasure, not a headache." 
      AHAHAHAHAHAHA # this, after trying my third site to see if they 
      will fucking accept an overseas card.
%
< HamIsHurtful> oh mst is a northerner?
< rml_home> you say that like it's a bad thing.  They are our most 
            fearsome warriors
%
< quicksilver> this morning the spammers are offering me a pack of three 
               super comfy bras
 * quicksilver tries to decide if his boobs feel uncomfortable.
< Dorward> quicksilver: You could order some nipple clamps to make certain
%
<@frew> you know your codebase sucks when the first step after perltidy 
        is to delete all comments and pod (because they are all lies)
%
 * cat-xeger wonders if she's still drunk
<@kyriel> How many fingers am I holding up?
< cat-xeger> four
<@kyriel> Nope. You're still drunk.
%
< castaway> anyone an idea how I can turn 00000004 into 4 in shell script?
< idn> expr 0000004 + 0
< apeiron> dc -e '00004 p'
< sng> They told me not to pee in the dc.
%
< huf> i suspect the best approach would implode the universe
< huf> we must make do with successively better ones
< thrig> to the geneticalgorithmobile!
%
<@denny> cat is a gateway drug
<@denny> to more cat
<@denny> it's a sad tale
%
 * denny looks shifty
<@denny> I'm not a politician!  I just argue with them a lot.
<@denny> well, there was that time I ran for Parliament.  But that was 
         just an extension of the arguments by other means.
%
<@itz> Neil Armstrong is dead
<@claes> maybe some of the moon probes will carry some of his ashes
<@osfameron> they could shoot maggie's ashes into space too. might 
             prevent people queueing up to piss on them
%
< Rande> That was the rudest I've been yet.  "Hello, can I speak to X?" 
         "No. *click*"
< Rande> I'd rather them send me junk mail.  At least then that's 
         propping up the Royal Mail a bit.
%
< quicksilver> nice. my NTP source is 'roflcopter.fr'
< quicksilver> should I trust a time signal from a laughing frenchman?
%
<@dhoss> can't. fucking. focus.
<@rjbs> same
<@rjbs> fuck, I can't even do better than dhoss
 * dhoss screencaps
%
< popl> cooking and IRC is probably a bad combination
< Botje> 'brb housefire'
%
< fuzzix> I work in shades
< fuzzix> Harsh ceiling lighting.
< fuzzix> Someone thought I had a drug problem.
< fuzzix> I mean, I do, but the shades are nothing to do with that ;)
%
< Kassandry> The most fun thing about kids, is that they're someone else's,
             so you can take them aside, do fun things with them, 
             teach them interesting things, shake them up like cans of 
             pop ... and then hand them back to their parents.
%
<@sungo> there's shit like coda that has ssh or ftp built-in. but those 
         are IDEs that make me violent
<@sungo> as some meme (that I've lost a url to) said: 99 problems and 
         eclipse is all of them.
%
<@rjbs> replied gloria to cloaxia
<@cat-xeger> I keep on thinking I should be able to tell what region 
             she's from by how her sari is tied
<@rjbs> I'll ask her when she's not playing piano.
%
< lee> really, some truly remarkable things happen online
< lee> such as running a public url shortener unmaintained for 4 months, 
       and there's only 2 links in the database to shock sites 
       (lemonparty, meatspin; don't google, you'll regret it)
%
< narcos> Now, what was I originally trying to do
< mst> take over the world!
< narcos> CPAN says "Cannot install World::Takeover, don't know what it is."
< DrForr> maybe *your* CPAN.
%
<@caitlin> i made a thing with perl. i'm rather shocked
<@tomboh> it's nice when that happens :)
<@tomboh> assuming you haven't made a hungry shark
%
<@mst> then ignore me and do what doy said, he's actually right and I'm not
 * ether scribbles a note: on 2012-09-14, mst said...
<@rjbs> later, you will dig up that note, and it will read, in a smudgy 
        scrawl, "I EAT YOUR EYES FIRST"
%
 * apeiron likes his LDAP UID at $WORK
 * apeiron is UID 1337
%
<@mako132> oh fuck I have to be at dinner 20 minutes away in 5 minutes
 * mako132 & # shit shit shit
%
< dngor> We should get clackers.  They'd help synchronize the audio, too.
 * mst wants clangers
< mst> they'd make great lightning talk timers
< castaway> cow bells!
%
<@frew> all of our servers are elements
<@frew> you can refer to them by full name or elemental abbreviation
<@frew> hence my computer is w, aka tungsten
<@frew> we used handwavium for virtual machines for a while
%
 * dwu is awesome, truly
<dwu> And doesn't have an ego problem at all.
<mst> works for me :)
<dwu> pah, only because otherwise your ego would take all the duvet.
%
< idn> The error goes along the lines of "WAAAAAAHHH!!!  500 Internal 
       Server Error!  BOOOOOOM!"
%
<aurynn> Beer in the UK is like a close friend come to visit and provide 
         hugs and a laugh
<aurynn> Beer in NZ is like getting in a fistfight out back, that you're 
         not sure if you won or lost
%
<@f0rk> I need to add a status to the ticket system: "Closed: Fuck You"
%
<@mordy> python includes batteries, but they are of dubious origin and 
         tend to explode
%
< quicksilver> "A 360 degree view on penetration testing"
< quicksilver> I'd file that under "Special Interest - NSFW"
< quicksilver> but sadly it's from a security conference
%
"Gentlemen, I do not mind being contradicted, and I am unperturbed when I
am attacked, but I confess I have slight misgivings when I hear myself
being explained."
        -- Lord Balfour, to the English Parliament
%
< RodentAFK> cats!
< RodentAFK> they are circling me like sharks
 * random notes that the cats, whatever they are telling mouse, have been fed.
< RodentAFK> lying sods
%
Major premise:  All previous AI efforts failed to yield true intelligence.
Minor premise:  All previous AIs were built without delicious lemon glazing.
Conclusion:     If we build AIs with delicious lemon glazing, they will work.
%
< geoff> neural nets are over-rated
< starglider> Their potential is overrated.
< geoff> their potential is us 
%
<@edenc> basically, I view sql and data mangling like a giant orgy, you
         put all the records in a query, where they have sex and breed,
         then you pick up the bastards that do what you want and throw
         the rest away
%
 * erry bots christel 
-!- erry [erry@freenode/staff/erry] has quit [Changing host]
-!- erry [erry@freenode/utility-bot/erry] has joined #freenode-bootcamp
 * christel whistles
%
<@sungo> bleh. was nearly killed on my way home by a guy in a goddamn truck
         staring at his smart phone. he blew a red light at about 50mph. By
         the time we both stopped his truck was about a foot from my car
<@sungo> but on the upside, I have pocky
%
<@mst> Added ETHER to co-maintainers of Proc::ProcessTable.
<@mst> Added ETHER to co-maintainers of Proc::ProcessTable::Process
<@mst> ether++ # give me a shout when you upload the fixed version
< ether> mst--
%
< kd> ah I've found one of my bugs
< kd> I helpfully commented it 9 months ago with # END YUCKY BIT
%
<+jayne> soon: irssi and emacs merge, because it was the easiest way to 
         teach irssi how to email
<+jayne> soon after: someone starts working on a script for text-editing
%
<@mst> any plan that starts with 'convert from maildir to mbox' is a plan 
       that makes me want to gag the instigator with a lemon
< idn> Oh gods no.
< idn> I'll drive mst down to London to apply the lemon if you do that
%
< HuntAFK> And I need to make some bread. Yes...
< HuntAFK> I did one the other day, and for the life of me I can't find 
           it. But it is better to have loafed and lost than never to 
           have loafed, I s'pose
%
< Su-Shee> why does that trigger spy movies in my head?
< DrForr> The spotted owl flies backwards at midnight?
< mauke> laden or unladen owl?
%
 * quicksilver struggles to reconcile the four words 'reasonable', 
    'perl', 'IDE', and 'Windows'
%
< tp-work> I shall ask twitter, they may be able to help.
 * pol reads tp-work's last sentence
 * pol re-reads tp-work's last sentence
< pol> Umm
%
> Why don't you use SNMPv3, which is purpose built for this stuff?
And then why don't I find a large glass jar filled with live wriggling
cockroaches and compete with my coworkers to see how many of them I can
swallow whole?                       (tptacek replies to mahyarm on HN)
%
< apeiron> Zynga has been looking nicely fucked for a while now
 * quicksilver would have thought that if anyone was going to fuck Zynga 
    it would be "roughly, with extreme prejudice"
%
<@rjbs> "You're going to be fired."
<@rjbs> "Fine, I can find another job anywhere!"
<@rjbs> "No, you misunderstand.  Fired.  Like in a kiln."
%
Shmuel (Seymour J.) Metz  <spamtrap@library.lspace.org.invalid> wrote:
>[...] I want my Internet back from the barbarians at the gate.
Internet, hell. I want my Arpanet back.
        - Brian Kantor
%
< yano> so i'm in a weird state of mentally being sober but physically 
        still drunk.
< christel> that is called "i am too thick to sleep it off"
< christel> "and decided to stay up ircing all night instead"
%
<mst> generally when I take part in a "normal" looking democratic process 
      it's because I've already figured out how to subvert it
<mst> I don't find that they produce useful results otherwise
<kaitlyn> Hey, stop stealing American politics.
%
<@apeiron> No, mono is quite alive still
< crazedpsyc> apeiron: huh, must have been thinking of something 
              similarly annoying that died recently
<@apeiron> your hopes and dreams?
%
 * essuu wonders if _Dave is actually an email bot, programmed with just 
    a few standard and inflamatory responses
< essuu> "what?", "I don't understand" and "Where's the tea?"
%
< countertony> There's a place near my dad's house that does really nice 
               kebabs, and then I get a doner with no sauce or salad.
< kian> Donner with no salad is cheating.
< kian> How is it healthy otherwise?
%
<@erikh> someone put on their pedantic pants this morning
<@perigrin> I am a *nerd* sir ... I sleep in them.
%
< danaj> I'm envisioning an Acme::Shout module, ala Acme::Bleach, that 
         makes your entire package uppercase.
< mauke> UPPERCASE CONSERVES BANDWIDTH BY USING LESS BITS
%
<@gwern> you've never gotten drunk until you've gotten drunk off egg rolls
<@gwern> a good night on the town ends with you face down in the wok and
         your pockets picked by the egg roll girls
%
Q: What if you strapped C4 to a boomerang? Could this be an effective weapon,
or would it be as stupid as it sounds? (submitted to what-if.xkcd.com)
A: Aerodynamics aside, I’m curious what tactical advantage you’re expecting
to gain by having the high explosive fly back at you if it misses the target.
%
<@perigrin> if you want to know in detail how you're doing it wrong, ask 
            a Haskell programmer.
%
> Though, you get odd treatment [from the TSA] when they realize you're trans. 
> I had two people, a male and female agent, in Hawaii go "Uhm. You? No. You?"
> and my reply was "How about him, because he's cuter."
%
< yrlnry> You guys are gonna kill me this way.
<@mst> yrlnry: totally my fault.
<@mst> (the stupid design, not the killing)
< yrlnry> ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Outlived Aaron Swartz
%
In my experience there's only 3 major C++ styles:
  - BusinessObjects *(Java-ish Qt)
  - std::cavedwelling<stl_guru, guru_cave<const _Type<T &> >::const_value_type
  - void _rather_be_writing_c()
%
<sward> “I found a box I can reproduce on”
 * sward worries
%
"Still. There's always a way to win."
"If I said that, you'd call it wishful thinking."
"If you said that, it would be. But I'm saying it, so it's game theory."
                                             (from Blindsight, by Peter Watts)
%
<@mdk> epitaph: summon ^^
 * epitaph appears in the circle. Do you think such contrivances can 
    contain me, wizard?
%
"As a result of a meeting to prioritize the current task list rather than
treat it as one huge mountain of everything that has to be done by yesterday,
we now have a ranked priority list, with deadlines. Everything is priority
one, and needs to be complete ASAP. This is treated as progress."
%
 * theorbtwo wonders if sheep are huggable.
 * theorbtwo has never been up close and personal with one.
%
chromatic_x: What's the thing where you can't tell if something is real or a
             parody? http://t.co/kZFpxU4F
pdcawley: @chromatic_x America?
%
<@apeiron> anyone know if hachi's SMS listed in his oper.conf is still valid?
<@apeiron> Suppose I'm about to find out
<@sungo> make sure to put COCK in the sms someplace. it's our 
         verification code.
%
<sungo> with javascript, it's often best not to think through the 'why'
<sungo> you'll only end up with more murder charges
%
< jmac> I've burned incense and have a prayer wheel going to have IT 
        install mod_fastcgi, which is a Thing that i Know. So far they 
        have responded by installing mod_fcgid on an entirely different 
        machine. Progress?
%
<mordy> my first rule about build systems; the simpler the better
<mst> programmers like build systems that remind them of themselves
<erikh> suddenly autoconf makes sense.
%
My porn folder, age 15: C:\windows\desktop\stuff\boring stuff\old boring stuff
My porn folder, age 20: C:\program files\utility\xp64\config\temp\0334
My porn folder, age 25: C:\porn
  (Cliff Pervocracy)
%
"Most standards are full of weasel words, like SHALL NOT (which means MAYBE)
 and MUST (which also means MAYBE) and REQUIRED TO (which means MAYBE but
 you’re supposed to feel a little guilty) and MAY (which means DO SOMETHING
 FUCKED UP AND RANDOM)."                       (dadhacker on angry protocols)
%
<@gwern> 'it's just a wiki', I said. 'how hard could it be to scrape?' I 
         said. 'they seem to follow a rigid format, it shouldn't be that 
         hard.' the poor fool!
< MicaiahC> and we never saw gwern again
%
<+Corey> One /ns sendpass djmatt604
<+Corey> Er.
< hydrogen> ooh now you need to reset your persons username!
%
< Mojito> Giving compliments can never be done enough imho.
< joel> I never do it enough
< joel> I stop halfway and backhand them
< joel> similar to my handjob technique tbh
%
<@sungo> this is an "if you inject april fools shit here, I /kill you" zone.
<@mst> sungo: is injecting april fools shit acceptable if you do it rectally?
<@sungo> mst: only if you yell SURPRISE first.
%
< jnap> I know a guy broke his toe and wasn't sure, did nothing and now he
        has to wear custom shoes for the rest of his life
< jnap> as I recall he dropped his gun on his foot or something while 
        shooting heroin
%
< edenc> the company that built my closet confused 402cm with 420cm
< edenc> then the guy says "oh, 20 cm isn't a big deal"
< edenc> and my wife said, right, I'll shove a 2cm dildo up your ass then 
         a 20cm dildo and we'll see if it doesn't make a difference
%
< tm604> invariant, noun: variable that the sub will modify on the sly. 
         see also: outvariant (a variable that will change value at some 
         unspecified and inconvenient point in the future)
%
<@apeiron> Declining bacon is suspicious
< Su-Shee> it's the heretic belief of bacon being unhealthy. 
<@hobbs> I don't even know the declension of bacon.
%
<mst> < Mae> I didn't mean for the cat to be pink. she rolled in chalk. x.x
<mst> ... looking at logs, I think the chalk was a penis drawn on the patio
<ether> the cat disapproved
<mst> if by disapproved you mean "rolled in the chalk cock", then yes
%
<@joel> then again, it's funny how poly people are 
        almost always horribly unattractive
<@jjl> joel: i know quite a few pretty ones
<@quicksilver> jjl: pieces of eight, pieces of eight!
%
<@sungo> wait. it's a federal crime to send a letter (or, given many 
         court cases, an *email*) threatening to injure someone?
<@sungo> Dear god. I've a 400 year life sentence ahead of me
%
< LeoNerd> I ended up giving up because curses is SEVEN SHADES OF INSANE
%
< huf> i want compilers to include a god damned spellchecker service 
       where a man drives up to the office in a tank and KILLS the 
       illiterate bastards
< huf> sessionDetialMap <- fucking hell.
%
<@sungo> oh goddamit.
<@sungo> they shipped it via usps
<@sungo> I fucking hate the usps
<@sungo> I'd rather they ship it via hobos
%
< apeiron> you can bring the horse to water, you can shove its head
           underwater, you can send it to the bottom of the Marianas 
           Trench... it has to *want* to drink, really, truly, and
           for most horses they have to think it's their idea
%
Student 1: “Before I came to uni, I wanted to be an astrophysicist.”
Student 2: “I wanted to be a geneticist.”
Student 3: “I wanted to be happy.”
  (from http://notalwayslearning.com/schoolyard-of-broken-dreams/30803 )
%
  1. Is it a lock file? Put it in /var/lock.
  2. Do you think it needs to go in /lib/init/rw?
     Go hit yourself with a lump hammer. Then retry the question.
  3. put it in /var/run          (the epitaph algorithm for directory choice)
%
< teejay_pic1> indeed we can only hope you embrace your inner gay pirate 
               as much as we do
<@osfameron> embrace it?  I'm tenderly humping its leg as we speak.
%
<@jkg> how could I have missed a 70s custard-eating alien flick?
<@jkg> I mean, that's my favourite genre of all!
%
 * quicksilver is momentarily baffled to see a systems ticket about 
    'BREAST mitigation' go past
%
< Mae> |: The cat just licked my hand. I'm fairly certain tonight is the 
       night she murders me. 
<@mst> that or throws up on your face at 3am
< Mae> I think I'd rather be murdered 
%
<@ubu> i'm so old i still pronounce SOAP as "OMFG what the hell are you 
       people doing stop that immediately" 
%
< perigrin> also doesn't help that they're all PST and I'm EST.
< mst> that's because you have kids, I like clients being a few hours behind :)
< apeiron> behind is lovely. ahead is kill -KILL $$
< apeiron> feel free to quote that out of context.
%
<sungo> God I hate NFS.
<mst> "Dear sungo: I'm God. I don't care. Why are you tweeting at me?"
<sungo> imposter! I can't get tweets from god because god doesn't exist! 
        Even if he did, the response would just be LIGHTNING BOLT
%
<@mako132> woo the thrill of bringing a server room back online after 
           doing massive power cord rewiring
<@mako132> WHAT COULD GO
<@DrForr> +++ATH0
%
< riba> jesus fuck, do people ever stop to think these days...?
< mst> you're suggesting that they once did?
< riba> mst: yes... I mean... yes... sigh... you suck man!
< riba> mst: YOU REMINDING ME OF THE REALITY OFFENDS ME!!!
%
<@chargrill> MY FIST APPEARS TO BE MISSING FROM THE BACK OF YOUR SKULL, 
             LET ME PLACE IT THERE VIA YOUR FACE
%
< perigrin> rjbs: "SSL Wants a read first" I think is suggesting you 
            haven't read OpenSSL a bedtime story in too long and perhaps 
            it's feeling neglected and lonely?
 * perigrin felt there were enough "useful" answers already.
%
< dorian> "Permission denied in replay cache code" wat
< dorian> obviously it can't open a file, but it wouldn't be sporting to 
          tell me which fucking one
%
< perigrin> I'll deal with my procrastination problem eventually.
< apeiron> in the same way mongo does?
< perigrin> No, i'm married. Shitting the bed is not an option.
%
< thrig> I have two clocks at work, one stuck at 4:50 with "HOPE" written 
         on it, the other has the hands in a pile at the bottom
%
<@sungo> BAHAHAHA
<@sungo> my oldest cat just got stuck to his scratching post
<@sungo> I let him drag it angrily across the room before offering to help
<@sungo> and by "let him", I mean "watched him laughing my ass off"
%
<@sri> hahaha... a hello world in rails requires 29557 objects
< Vandal> O_o
<@marty> The world is a big place.  Maybe rails goal is to have a 
         personal object for each of us.  I feel special.
%
<ribasushi> this is as much a bugreport as I am Ron Jeremy
%
<@denny> dipsy: primal scream
<@denny> dipsy: primal scream?
<+dipsy> denny: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHH
<@denny> jolly good.
%
<@perigrin> I'm not sure I want to read the goatsee book.
<@mst> scratch 'n' sniff
<@perigrin> mst: I suppose that's better than "Pop Up"
<@DrForr> It's got a great appendix.
%
< Aquarion> Also, Kindle on the iPad keeps getting itself a new device 
            ID, and I don't know how. So according to Amazon store, the 
            book is going to be delivered to "Aquarion's 8th iPad", which 
            makes me look like I use them as chopping boards or something.
%
< Su-Shee> I can't decide on a cat.
< DrForr> I thought it was the other way around.
< thrig> Su-Shee: just set PATH, it will find a cat
%
< thrig> Web 3.14, now with rounding
< mst> Web 3.141, now with slightly higher resolution rounding
< apeiron> Web 3.14299999999999, running on a Pentium 150
%
 * ether shoots mst
 * ether shoots mst's corpse for good measure
%
<@DrForr> "Show me on this UML diagram where the enterprise touched you."
%
< locsmif> 'I used XML::Simple to configure our backyard nuclear mini-reactor'
< locsmif> 'Would not recommend'
< mst> 'Am slightly crispy'
< popl> 'The burn center employees are all very nice.'
%
< apeiron> Remember to check out Irssi's Facebook fan page, Google+ 
           Community and LinkedIn group as well.
< apeiron> what.
%
<@mst> a support incident is almost always arguably attributable to a
<@mst> gah
<@sungo> those goddamn gahs
<@mst> I hate you.
%
<@sungo> god we're old: frances bean cobain turned 21 last month.
<@perigrin> sungo: she also got her carry permit ... 
<@mst> kinda hard to conceal a shotgun though
<@perigrin> just gotta carry it up stairs. the M.E. will carry it back down.
%
<@jkg> I'm slightly surprised the residents association thing for my new 
       flat use a phpbb forum rather than a facebook group
<@jkg> the phrase "lesser of two evils" applies, I'm just not sure to which
%
< kyriel> "In short, this job is a frenzied, toxic concoction of 
          unreasonable expectations sublimating in a delirious eldritch 
          miasma of inexplicably redundant and technologically stunted 
          soviet era byzantine inefficiency."  Too harsh?
%
<@mst> apparently the TSA recently changed the rules to allow carry-on of
       sex toys under 7"
< Su-Shee> if I can capture a plane with a vibrator of ANY size, I seriously
           have EARNED the plane.
%
<@joel> ahhh junkies ... i remember getting bollocked by one in Dean St
<@joel> I'd had the temerity to open the phonebox he was slumped in at
        lunchtime to check if he was OK
<@joel> and he dropped his spoon
%
< quicksilver> I don't know that much about TBSliver.
< quicksilver> I know a little more about mst.
< quicksilver> something about "< mst> TBSliver++ # fire" makes me
               terribly afraid
%
<@osfameron> so.  yesterday I discovered that my dad types newlines at top
             and bottom of his Word documents ("just for printing") to get
             the margins right.
<@osfameron> why couldn't he have secretly been a Nazi or something instead?
%
< ether> mauke: if you ship a new() that doesn't die on error I will come
         over and shoot you
< ether> and mst will set fire to your corpse afterwards
%
< popl> Then again, peacocks are assholes.
< dthor> looks like an eagle and a wolverine mated
<@mst> that would look really freaking weird if the wolverine was on top
< dthor> plus the eagle would explode
%
< ribasushi> did I miss all the twat...?
 * joel saved some sushitwat for later
<@joel> i really wanna rephrase that
< ribasushi> nope, goes into the quote annals
%
< lee> I keep seeing trailers for The Hobbit
< lee> and thinking "jeez, haven't they released that yet?"
< lee> how the bloody hell did I miss that
< Dom> Didn't you get the memo? If not, someone should have given you a ring.
%
<@jkg> I find it slightly scary that I've failed to keep up with 
       debian releases, given the pace of them :)
<@jkg> it's a bit like failing to outrun a glacier.
%
<@nperez> putting words like "technocrat" in your CV makes me want to 
          invite you for an interview if only to stab you in the face and 
          then throw you out a window
%
<@stonecolddevin> every time i set it up i found myself crossing my fingers
                  hoping that whatever perl i was trying to install would work
<@stonecolddevin> most times it worked but every now and again mutant 
                  manbearpig would crawl out of my terminal
%
< thrig> probably from drinking too much beer
< sjohnson> definitely a possibility
< mst> explain this "too much beer" concept
< thrig> usually the floor does
%
 * alh sends gizmomathboy a PDF embedded in a PNG of a screen shot of a 
    JPG of a cell phone camera taking a picture of the computer screen
<@gizmomathboy> yo dawg I hear you like to use a shitty medium to send a 
                shitty medium in a shitty medium...so I just sent you a pdf
%
< ribasushi> when one writes 'perldoc -f tar' meaning to look at the tar 
             manpage... it's time to go for a walk
%
<@SlayerXP> joel: do you know how to recognise a pitbull?
<@joel> SlayerXP: do you mean an actual American Bull Terrier?
<@SlayerXP> joel: if it's ugly, covered in bristly hair and has an 
            agrresive temprement, then the dog it owns will be a pitbull
%
 * dngor accidentally tars a directory to stdout, regrets same, presses 
    ^C, buries terminal until it stops beeping.
%
Knock knock
Race condition
Who's there?
%
"Here we have an *interesting* junction where there are 2 lots of green
lights, one for left turn, one for straight on. And they come on at different
times to allow people across. Sadly the unaware see green and go, often
collecting pedestrians on the way. We call it malfunction junction" -- Hunter
%
95 named methods, living in this class
95 named methods, living in this class
and if one such method is factored out at last
there'll be 94 named methods, living in this class
%
* kbk knew that, but missed the spacebaron the keyboard
<evilotto> Space Baron!
<suchenwi> Hail to the spacebaron!
%
< mst> ... ogods. I haven't windows updated this laptop for a while.
< TBSliver> security by obscurity? :P
< mst> more "security by not being powered on"
%
<@kd> unless you count my daughter's school laptop
<@kd> which is a nightmare
<@kd> I could always talk to her school's it support unit
<@kd> but that would mean talking to her school's it support unit
%
< Zoffix> "To comment, you need to connect your channel with Google+. However,
          your channel has a Google+ profile that has been suspended." 
< Zoffix> Fuck YOU, google! I'm not giving you my fucking passport just 
          to prove my fucking name is real, you bunch of retarded cunts.
%
<seven> When Hulu fails to load an ad, it puts a button the screen that
        reads "Click Here to Enable Ads." It might as well say "Click
        Here to Enable AIDS"; that's how little anyone wants to touch it.
%
<@SlayerXP> i always thought it might be fun to turn up to a reflexologists
            complaining about pains in your feet, hands and ears
<@djh> SlayerXP: I suppose you want to go to an acupuncturist and ask if 
       they can help you with your fear of needles, too?
%
<@joel> i'd throw my bra at mst
<@joel> i think he'd throw it back though
<@joel> on fire
<@joel> damn feminist
%
<@perigrin> My joy at receiving the sock and being a Free House Elf was 
            undiminished by the crust it contained.
%
 * ribasushi goes to kill yet another kitten
<@mst> ribasushi: don't forget to rape it first. kitten tears sell for double.
<@ribasushi> mst: killing a virgin kitten is blasphemy! I'd never do that
%
< theorbtwo> Ah, that lovely day when your parents ask you if your 
             therapist ever did something untoward toward you, and you 
             realize that you can't even get any action from a 
             pedophiliac who you saw twice a week.
%
<@davorg> Quick maths puzzle: If you got one dart in each scoring area on 
          a dartboard, what would your total be?
<@Trelane> You'd be disqualified for cheating
<@Trelane> since you're meant to only have three darts
%
< rindolf> tbti: which position are the resumes for?
< tbti> rindolf - I typically go through the entire kamasutra.
< rindolf> tbti: what?
< Su-Shee> tbti: oh boy .. that's very long interviews then, isn't it?
%
< sng> Isn't cricket basically baseball but even more boring?
%
< ether> I'm a horrible parent. I got my cat high on catnip and brushed the
         shit out of him, and now he has a nearly-bald patch on one shoulder
< ether> usually he stops me when I brush too vigorously, but he was high 
         as a kite... :/
%
< mst> there's few things quite as disturbing as seeing two head lice fall out
       of your hair at once, and realising the reason is they were fucking and
       forgot to hold on ... and are still copulating on the desk surface in
       front of you, completely unruffled by their descent through space
%
< ether> IT'S CHAINS ALL THE WAY DOWN
< ether> this is the shit that nitrous was made for
%
<@jkg> argh software. argh character sets. argh argh. argh!
<@djh> such software. many character sets. wow pain
<@Zefram> so codepoint
<@Zefram> very encode
%
<@perigrin> ribasushi: I know you don't believe me when I say this but 
            not *every* changelog has monkey penises in it.
%
< ether> fucking prolog, using a cock-and-balls operator and all
< ether> I should file a harassment claim against the language, forcing 
         me to type :- on every line
< ether> STOP OPPRESSING ME OVER MY GENITALIA
%
<@perigrin> "Have you ever experienced trying to shave your privates with 
            numb fingers? Using your app isn't that fun."
%
 * cat-xeger is tired of neighbours
< alh> That's why I moved to the woods. I can barely see my neighbors, 
       and if they become a problem, I have plenty of room to bury them 
       where no one will notice
%
< mst> popl: see. they DO learn.
< popl> mst: Are you sure?
< mst> popl: You Have Three Lifelines Left
< DrForr> Ironically the last one is "ask on IRC."
%
<@ct> TIL that fat guys, like black people or asians, all look alike.
<@ct> "I put that laptop on your desk."
<@ct> "What?"
<@ct> "That laptop, I put it... You're not Derek, are you?"
%
<@ether> at the very least you can enjoy watching me hoisted on my own retard
%
< Su-Shee> god I hate when they break the internet.
< LeoNerd> /they/ ?
< Su-Shee> THEY.
<@sungo> Sorry. I'll plug that back in
%
-!- ether [~ether@93.158.54.178] has joined #perl
-!- ether_ [~ether@93.158.54.178] has joined #perl
<@mst> redundant array of ... canadians?
<@mst> ether_: you're spawning, dear
%
< netstar> PHP makes me want to soil myself for fun
%
< perigrin> however as a circumcised male, comparing it to 
            female-circumcision is *rediculous* to begin with
< perigrin> they're not even the same ballpart of injury.
< mst> that was the best typo ever.
%
< Altreus> we have a fairly well-structured codebase because I shout a lot
%
 * mst learned C from qmail, ex-vi, and perl5
<@sungo> and it explains a LOT
%
< Fatalnix> I have come to realize that Facebook is a useful resource for 
            if you would like to perform a background check on someone you
            don't know very well, and need to determine their IQ quickly.
%
< apeiron> ERROR:  Could not find a valid gem 'hiera-eyaml' (>= 0) in any 
           repository # hmm, looks like ruby is telling me to write a 
           distributed map-reduce function in erlang
%
< LeoNerd> joel: Now you've got me musing on the subject of a
           "surprise ending" to a blowjob....
< LeoNerd> So many things come to mind
< LeoNerd> First of which is one of those pop-out "BANG!" flags
%
< chansen> mst: http://www.seas.upenn.edu/~strctlrn/MSTParser/MSTParser.html
<@mst> chansen: my favourite expansions of MST are still 'most 
       spectacular tits' and 'maladie sexuelle transmissible' :D
< joel> I always thought it stood for "Makes stupidpeople think"
%
< LeoNerd> Oh you don't want to get me started on C++. Really :)
< LeoNerd> It's best to treat it like the third Matrix film
%
<@ribasushi> fucking tech.
<@perigrin> plugged your vibrator into your irc client again?
<@ribasushi> the other way around
<@ribasushi> your voice was most climaxing
%
< sng> I love it when I threaten a voice response phone system with 
       violence and it sends me where I want to go. 
%
<@rjbs> New rule:  rjbs isn't done talking until he's clarified what he 
        just said at least once.
 * rjbs then annoyingly declines to clarify that rule.
%
 * Phagus also listened gratuitiously to Rammstein. Phagus would also 
    think the Perl community would benefit greatly from a metal band that 
    sang in Perl.
< hippie> do... do BLOCK... do BLOCK while!
%
<sungo> this is where "jury of your peers" is so badly done these days
<sungo> "peers" doesn't mean "humans". If you, say, murdered that person, 
        you should be put on trial in front of other programmers who 
        would acquit you in 5 minutes
%
< DrForr> I'm pretty sure that everyone that's looked at Unicode 
          collation either went insane or went on to write the perl RE 
          optimizer. There isn't much difference.
%
< quicksilver> in a recent survery, 9 out of 10 language 
               sadists^Wdesigners agreed that *misleading* stack traces 
               were much more amusing than either correct or completely 
               absent stack traces.
%
< Hazelesque> compiling postgresql on AIX with IBM XL C... fml
%
 * mst sets ribasushi on fire
<@mst> (and inhales)
< ribasushi> big mistake
< ribasushi> now you are having visions of doge-hitler
%
< triddle> I forgot that mysql thinks acid is an interesting idea and not
           a way of life
%
< phaylon> damnit. title is always called data. except two levels down, 
           then it's text
 * mst passes the bong
 * kaitlyn intercepts.
%
< jkg> my entire professional interaction with CVS is working for a 
       company called that, where someone had decided our modules should 
       live in a CVS::* namespace
< jkg> which broke /no tools at all/, honest.
%
<mst> fuck. customer request that involves integrating with BT.
 * mst starts the 'minutes to CANNOT UNSEE timer'
<mst> "To ensure security all transactions are encrypted using FTP over TLS"
 * mst stops the timer at 1
%
<@ether> mephinet: nooooo don't convert *to* Module::Build!
-!- ether is now known as MaginotLine
 * MaginotLine shouts: "turn around! you're pointing the wrong way!"
%
<@perigrin> dear cat, the reason you find it so uncomfortable to lay 
            there is because I AM FUCKING TYPING ON THAT KEYBOARD.
%
 * kaitlyn wants big data
< kaitlyn> I don't know what I would do with it though.
< kaitlyn> Maybe pet it.
%
< anno> IRC is a competition between regulars and perl newcomers. both
        parties are trying to get the other side to give them code, but
        rarely succeed
%
< corgifex> you can rely on the spec
< Soltis> corgifex: No you can't.
< corgifex> well, I can, it just may not work
%
<@frew> I was considering (don't stab me!) overloading isa for sugar reasons
 * ether stabs frew
 * frew dies
 * ether pillages
%
< thrig> "evening everyone"? as a member of the American Alliance Against 
         Alliteration and Assonance, I find this disturbing.
%
< TorgoX> Yiddish is interesting except that most of it is written all 
          squiggly.
< TorgoX> ][|['|][] ']['] ']N]''[]'|[]||[]N etc
%
< kyshtynbai> mst: numbers are seconds?
< mst> kyshtynbai: what did 'perldoc -f sleep' tell you when you read it?
< mark_t> perldoc -f sleep
< mark_t> Gaah, beat by mst again. By Lothar's hammar, I will be avenged!
%
 * nperez does his best trollface in a top hat impression while riding 
    off into the sunset on his shitty beater city bike
<%stonecolddevin> nperez: hope you get shot in the side of the penis
<@ribasushi> .oO( he was a fierce warrior but then took an arrow to the cock )
%
< sungo> my retirement plan is to die at my desk of a rage induced stroke
%
< ether> clearly we need a new language where isms are not possible
< ether> we'll be reduced to grunting and pointing because no words will 
         be acceptable
< ether> and then pointing will be banned because it evokes male penetration
%
<@Trelane> whoever wrote .split() in JavaScript needs a good shouting at
<@Trelane> "foo:bar:baz".split(":",2);  # returns ["foo","bar"]
<@tomboh> ah, an "off by zero" error
<@osfameron> those are always the hardest to debug
%
<@sungo> this is why we need YAPC: Sealand. "0830-2200: Shooting at 
         passing boats while consuming ungodly amounts of prohibited 
         substances"
%
< Altreus> I don't really know how windows works I'm afraid
< Dynetrekk> you have my full understanding and sympathy. I strive towards
             knowing as little as possible about windows, but the universe
             is in wild disagreement. I used to be like you, and miss it.
%
This site may contain "forward-looking statements" ... make note that I'm a
goddamn moron, have no "inside information" and, if I did, I certainly as fuck
wouldn't tell you. Any predictions I make are likely to be wrong, misinformed
or just plain stupid.                        (from the disclaimer on sungo.us)
%
<@mst> after the amount of ruby you've been writing, I'm amazed you
       remembered consent exists
<@sungo> you're saying that monkeypatching is just a big word for rape?
<@perigrin> that's the metaclass-archy telling you that monkeypatching is okay
%
< ribasushi> .oO( hmmm... don't dodge your fears... hmmm... I can see it now:
             Matthew Trout starring in the scheduled reboot: octopusman
             begins, the purple code of conduct knight, the code of conduct
             knight rises )
%
<ether> oh god fuck AWS
* ether carefully retreats back into the shadows
%
< corgifex> ... you murder people on IRC?
< mst> if talking somebody into committing suicide counts, then yes, once
< rindolf> mst: at least you can laugh at your own faults.
< mst> rindolf: it's so cute you think that last line was a joke.
%
< brazucawins> i'm already banned
<@mst> you make a good point.
-!- brazucawins was kicked from #perl by mst [brazucawins]
< mst> worst. evader. ever.
%
< triddle> Just saw this message show up in the official debian EC2 AMI:
           2014-06-17 20:33:10,594 - stages.py[WARNING]: Module ssh-import-id
           is verified on ['ubuntu'] distros but not on debian distro. It may
           or may not work correctly.
%
<@rjbs> successfully trolled by internet
<@rjbs> spent hours torrenting movie
<@rjbs> it's been dubbed into Italian
%
<@autarch> I just find this stuff hilarious
<@autarch> I've been saying for years that we'd start seeing 
           ruby/python/php/befunge is dying talk eventually
<@autarch> I think I want to go work in fashion where things are less faddish
%
< Mort> "I am going to shove the sunshine so far up where there sun don't 
        shine that you will vomit nothing but warm summer days!"
%
 * Winterbay has two kids atm and so makes things easier for himself by 
    putting them in a pool.
< Hunter> Don't forget...shouty end up...
< Hunter> It's one of those little details you don't want to miss...
%
< _druu> Hi I know text file Sql Database Replication
< _druu> it's pretty easy... you just make a new file, write in some 
         text, like you do with an email.  and send it to  
         fuckme@ohgodwhy.nope
%
<@sungo> I think my oldest cat may have learned to code.
<@sungo> I opened some really terrible code. He came over, sat directly 
         in front of that terminal and began licking his ass.
%
15:31  * thrig goes back to reading the tea leaves as to what "Internet
          Frozen" means
...
15:36 < thrig> damn kids and their firefox .lock files
%
< corgifex> Sound: did you just say the OTRS code is clean?
< corgifex> I don't remember anything except for an icky feeling
< corgifex> I don't want to touch it again
%
< sungo> I've always been here, in spirit, in the face of every beaten 
         orphan, every drowned kitten, every burnt freezer pizza
%
< frew> ok fellas, I have to go to lunch, I'll talk with you later
< frew> (after lunch is "learn about TLS" time, I'm excited and scared)
< tom_m> interesting approach - most people skip that step then act all 
         surprised when the next CVE gets published =)
%
<@ct> All boxes are perfect unless and until exposed to end users.
<@ct> sometimes I want to build a server with an air gap and just let it run
%
< alh> sungo: Once you work for Comcast, convince them to come down my road 
< sungo> alh: no. I'll do the exact opposite.
< alh> You are the worst.
< sungo> alh: PROVE YOU ARE NOT USING NANO ANYMORE AND YOU CAN HAVE TV
%
Spammers on dadhacker will be killed in a manner which is difficult to
describe, as it involves a ladder, three large farm animals of different
species, a high-output electric generator, fifteen years of National
Geographic back-issues, toasted walnuts and a television tuned to QVC.
%
<@sungo> http://vendor.bullshit/please/do/some.other.domain/pants
%
<@cms> first i stopped using multiple monitors. then i moved everything 
       over to the laptop display. next i expect i'll dim the screen 
       entirely and navigate by sense of smell
%
< rindolf> #perl has become so quiet.
 * rindolf wants ACTION.
< dminus> rindolf: ask mst a silly question
 * dminus popcorn
%
< sivoais> the bit in the NAME section for the module doesn't help with 
           understanding the purpose: "JSON::XS for Cpanel"
<@ether> sivoais: it's hard to say "we forked it because the original 
         author is a cunt" in an ABSTRACT
%
< joel> ether: that's not reassuring, but I understand that this is a 
        reaction to MLEHMANN
< joel> it does still seem like an attempt to solve a problem with code
< joel> that would be better solved with a dark room and rubber hoses
%
 * p5commits H.Merijn Brand" pushed to blead ...
<@vincent> eh, what's this double quote doing there
<@mst> WAITING TO POUNCE ON AN UNSUSPECTING SINGLE QUOTE AND EAT IT
<@vincent> is this covered by the civility policy
%
< TheMesquito> My quit message is not working :(
< mst> real IRCers stay connected 24/7 anyway
< mst> quit messages are a sign of weakness
%
<@sungo> What you do is you get rid of all the restrictions on HFT but 
         put them in their own sandbox
<@sungo> they'll iterate into godlike AI and kill us all
<@sungo> it'll be great
%
< mst> LeoNerd: what could possibly go wrong?
< LeoNerd> mst: Please don't ask me that question without a LIMIT clause
%
<@mst> what, you think I want to remember how this works?
<@mst> the last time I managed to remember how part of core worked for 
       more than about 20 minutes at a time, it resulted in Devel::Declare
<@LeoNerd> Yes - we can't let that happen again
%
<@rjbs> I'm more of an *ideal man*, ladies.
<@mst> rjbs: in that your manhood doesn't actually exist?
<@rjbs> mst: but the shadow of my dick on the cave wall?  amazing
%
<@wright> Speaking of which, I’ll be heading up the introverts BOF this 
          year.    Everybody please meet in your own room starting 
          promptly at 5:00 until the following morning.
%
<@ether> I've had drugs like that
<@ether> mind you they also made me take apart the VCR
%
<@ew73> Monday, the annual anchovy migration apparently swam upriver.
<@ew73> And successfully de-oxygenated the entire river, and the whole 
        fucking thing died.
<@ew73> There are.. a lot of seagulls.
%
< jkg> right, a bunch of local friends all want to set up some kind of shared
       hosting environment, and their first pub bikeshedding session is
       tonight, so I need to go and shout random colours at them
 * jkg &
%
<@rjbs> our annoying neighbors were using a leaf blower in December
<@rjbs> on snow
<@chargrill> snow? how does that even work?
<@rjbs> It doesn't.  Next question?
%
< jmac> Prayer wheels that drone IA IA SHUB INTERNET et cetera, yes
< jmac> There's a hack that requires a certain service from timing out 
        only by a crontask that pings a listener with HE COMES in 
        enochian script (thank goodness for UTF-8) every five minutes
%
< sproingie> we have a chaos monkey workalike.  it's called ops.
%
 * mst collects mohawk's tears for later use
< mohawk> for suitable voodoo, one assumes
< mst> that or as lube
< Mithaldu> newbies don't slide into volunteering easily
%
<@ether> hey, cat, you'd stay a lot more hidden if you didn't say "mrr?" 
         whenever I said your name :)
<@ether> hiding: FAIL
%
< xan> Now to suck the nougat out of tarballs with 
       Archive::Libarchive::XS in a most performant manner!
< triddle> does it also get the cream from between oreos?
< xan> That will be supported in a future release.
%
<@cxreg> This One Guy at work, every time he touches git it's like a 
         mentallly disabled person with a chainsaw.  I swear I'm going to 
         revoke his push privileges
%
< Dorward> *headdesk*
< Dorward> *headdesk*
< Dorward> *headdesk*
< Dorward> *headdesk*
%
<perigrin> my @sperm = ( ~~<>, ~~<>, ~~<> );
%
<@trog> "where in the building are you located" Um ... I have no idea, come 
        to the second floor and start yelling.
%
< tm604> decide for yourself, or provide more information on requirements
< huf> and until then, prepare for snark :D
< huf> well, and after.
%
 * triddle invents the grope operator - it randomly invokes methods on 
    objects until one of them doesn't throw an exception anymore
< triddle> why fight it? this is how programming is done anyway
%
<@idn> errietta: I can't wait too long, I have 20 mins to get this done :-P
<@idn> Or clj will string me up
 * mst calls dibs on the youtube rights
<@idn> mst: Thanks, as always for your support... :-)
%
 * jkg stares at the prototype for mesh()
< huf> (\@;\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@)
< PerlJam> I'm wondering what the thought process was.
< thrig> natural 1 on the Ballmer Peak roll?
%
<@sungo> if you were to visualize ruby's duck typing, the duck would be 
         oozing blood from all its orifices, have a black eye and 
         stubmling around in the gutters
%
<@gizmomathboy> stupid computers...always doing exactly what you tell them
<@ashley> gizmomathboy: use windows
%
< Kassandry> Oh yeah! That's right, [David Tennant] married Peter Davison's
             daughter. Forgot about that.
< Dorward> "What's the weirdest thing a fan ever gave you?"
< Dorward> "A grandchild"
%
<@castaway> osfameron: pop quiz, what's HyperCat?
<@aef> It's like Cat, but more so.
<@tomboh> is it the knitted cat?
<@jkg> isn't it a cat in n dimensions where n > 3?
%
< xan> Ah, yes, a joke!  So, I threw a bukkake party this weekend.
< xan> It was a disaster >_<
< xan> Nobody came.
< Kassandry> I am so so glad I finished swallowing before I saw that.
%
<@xan> For trog is actually quite lovely.
<@mst> I'm not sure I've ever seen anybody accuse you of that before
<@trog> usually it happens when people see me out side of a drinking setting.
<@trog> which is why it rarely happens.
%
 * ubu considers his lunch options
<@sungo> baby
<@xan> I'll go fetch the blender
<@trog> a modest proposal for lunch.
%
<%trog> I’ve actualy no problem with coors as a plant.
<%trog> It’s got a zero emmision carbon foot print and it’s the largest I 
        think self sustained brewery in the country.
<@sungo> pissing into a bottle is a pretty low carbon event, yes
%
< mohawk> this is wonderful
< mohawk> EUMM's MM_Unix has init_PERL, then init_PERM
< mohawk> there isn't an init_PERN, presumably because of the fear of 
          ongoing threads-related problems
%
<@djh> heh. My gf didn't know about the "Ok, google" voice command for her
       android phone, and was most annoyed that I demo'd both it and some of
       its dangers by saying "ok, google midget porn" within its hearing >:)
%
"Oh, and to fully implement TAP you need to implement YAML."
<rjbs> !@?#
"Well, I'll invent a subset of it and you'll have to restrict output to that."
<rjbs> !@?# !@?#
%
< Simon> every disaster movie has to fulfill its US Landmarks Points Quotient
%
< Edmund> Kincaid: You remember a couple of years ago when I misplaced a 
          2 in an equation and thought the universe was exploding?
%
< DrForr> Always wanted to shoot a mime with a silencer to see what would
          happen.
< master> Screaming
< master> Terrible screaming.
%
< ttkai> jsn - can you toss it back at whoever generated the file and 
         tell them to generate it correctly?
< jsn> It was generated by me, about 11 years ago.
%
< frew> leont: augh, why does installing Module::Build take so long?
 * frew is dying
< leont> Because its tests are dumb
< leont> Well, and the rest of it too
%
<@rjbs> I've got two smartos hosts of very slightly differing builds, one 
        works one doesn't.
<@perigrin> the question now is how badly did you fuck up the one that works
%
< quicksilver> I am on a train.
< quicksilver> I have just spotted someone, a couple of tables up, using 
               an oculus rift
< quicksilver> enormous temptation to hit random keys on his keyboard
%
< alh> We can't all be winners :|
<@sungo> clearly, look at stonecolddevin 
<%stonecolddevin> i did almost kill myself trying to make espresso yesterday
%
 * cat is feeling a tad rough today. 
 * hikari sands and polishes cat.
 * Kincaid gets the buffer
%
< ningu> anyway, I think it's a matter of degree. I basically 
         agree with you. but in some cases programmers are more fungible 
         than others, in practice.
< mauke> it's a matter of degree. I don't have a degree.
%
< xan> I have a gag reflex to C++
%
<perigrin> Backend Engineering ... that's a lot of leg lifts and squats right?
<sungo> more like... stretches
<xan> You wanna BRO OUT AND CRUSH SOME CODE???
 * xan crushes a beer can on her forehead
%
< trog> Yeah I don't know how Mongo is Spelling Double Penetration with a B
%
<@ubu> my favorite mythical creature is The Vegan Who Never Mentions It.
%
Line items from an internal project log:
  * Meeting about laying out processes, a new process
  * Writing up notes from first meeting, the notes strike back
  * Meeting about laying out processes, return of the processes
%
< mauke> Remember, consent can't be given under the influence of alcohol,
         so you can't legally fuck tiramisu.
%
<@tomboh> I'd much rather be endorsed for "getting up in the morning" (which I
          don't mind sometimes, but haven't been endorsed for) than "PHP"
          (which I dislike, but have been endorsed for)
%
< ct> we're trying to clean up crontabs written by morons
< ct> for example
< ct> 00 00 1 * * /scripts/backups/audit > .dev.null 2>&1
< ct> yes, .dev.null
%
<tyler> Good news: It doesn't look that bad so far in the console
<tyler> Bad news: That's probably lies, who knows, it's AWS
%
<mst> so, sri threw his toys out of the pram and cancelled his MongoDB client
* ether simplifies that expression to "sri threw his toys out of the pram"
* ether simplifies further to "sri"
%
Nitric acid is a *solvent*.  It's not a solution until you put something else
in it.  Like Lennaert Poettering, perhaps.
  -- Steve VanDevender
%
< masak> if macros don't give you the power to do ridiculously 
         inadvisable things to your program, I will consider my mission 
         to have failed. :)
%
CATS: We got a lifetime of naps and belly rubs. What about you?
HUMANS: Superior intellect
CATS: Cool, what's it for?
HUMANS: Math and feeling bad
%
< skaufman> the title of this channel should be "you're probably
            doing it wrong"
  (irc.perl.org #dbix-class)
%
<%trg404> Hmm apparently in 1814 there was a tidal wave of beer gushing 
          down the streets.
<%trg404> 180 years later, Perl 5 is released.
%
< ether> now that the weather's turned cool, the cat is back on the bed. 
         he always ends up like a sausage between us, head down, so when 
         he stretches, I get feet planted in my face
< ether> nothing says I love you like a face full of fur
%
< cat> Ew.
< cat> Cinder just spewed from the top of the cat tree
< kian> And that is what we call a fountain of vomit.
< Kincaid> is her head rotating?
%
< mst> here has two modes: "raining" and "thinking about raining"
< theorbtwo> There is a theory that every few years, the gods remove the 
             clouds to have a look, see that Lancaster is still there, 
             and then hurriedly put them back again.
%
< LeoNerd> Ahyes... multiple clocks
< mst> I always have trouble reading the last 'l' when somebody says that
< LeoNerd> COCK_MONOTONIC
%
 * kentnl will go to a special hell where demons will modify my internals 
    without my approval for all time
%
<@pete> Perhaps. I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that UKIP voters are pretty
        hard to nail to specific demographics
< t0m> That's only as they won't hold still, the slippery buggers.
< t0m> Either that, or I need a better nailgun
%
< castaway> hmpf.. where is my package!
< mst> in your pants?
 * castaway looks at mst..
 * ribasushi looks at castaway from mst's pants
%
<@trg404> Optimistic outlooks help.
<@jasonmay> I have an optimistic outlook express
<@rabcyr> Maybe y'all could exchange
%
14:32 -!- tyler has quit [Ping timeout: 20 seconds]
14:34 < skaufman> tyler just texted me. power outage in his area
15:14 -!- tyler has joined
15:14 < tyler> I was so bored I decided to break out the generator and work
%
<@DrHyde> freebsd? bollocks to that, i was thinking of my old Sparc laptop
<@DrHyde> ahhh, Ol' Thighburner, how I miss it
<@DrHyde> the tiny screen! the cramped disk space! the battery liNO CARRIER
%
< kd> looks like the only subsantive thing I need to do is rename sub new 
      in Apache2::ShimRequest to sub 
      work_around_mod_perl_being_a_fucking_pile_of_shit
%
< TBSliver> .. this codebase is comparable to quantum science at times.. 
            when you think you understand it, you've missed something... :P
< skaufman> some of it is clever, some of it is terrible
< skaufman> some of it is both
%
< khw> I got this spam today: Amazing Outdoor Sheds Now Anyone Can Start 
       Building.  I wonder if I should forward it to p5p...
< LeoNerd> All you have to do is work out what colour to paint it :)
< rjbs> I think the shed should be astounding, not amazing.
%
< apeiron> I didn't see anything in the XMLRPC docs
< apeiron> feel free to take a look, but I trawled them and came up sad
< apeiron> kind of like a kid opening an empty present on Christmas morning
%
< popl> I like the color fire.
< popl> It goes with anything.
%
<@xan> If people think Icelandic sounds like cats giving the evening 
       news, Old English sounds like lawn gnomes holding an auction
<@ct> Whan that Apryll tha shoures soute
<@perigrin> and Scots Gaelic sounds like the channel is off band.
%
< ghenry> Damn!
< ghenry> I still have DBI_TRACE=9 on :-)
<@mst> haahahahahaha
< ghenry> Can you hear my SSH session and CPU from there?
%
< b0at> havoc can be heralded
< mst> heralding havoc is just unfair though
< mst> it spoils the surprise
< b0at> ah yes, the old story of the harold who humorously heralded havoc
%
<%ether> down with vstrings! down with vstrings!
< arc> down with this sort of vstring!
<%BinGOs> careful now.
%
< timbunce> What's the name of the feature where a stored proc can be declared
            to take a row type argument and can then be used in a select
            statement as if the stored proc name was a column of the table?
< RhodiumToad> timbunce: "confusing"
%
< triddle> I don't think there is any irc channel in existance that can 
           survive a DoS via 55 gallon lube barrel 
%
<@ilmari> guess who just locked himself out of the flat and had to spend 
          two hours in the hallway in his bathrobe
<@ilmari> thank fuck it's a nice and warm and fluffy bathrombe
%
<@rjbs> hey, no bug, I just suck!
<@rjbs> all tests suckcessful
<@mst> evidently you didn't write enough tests
<@rjbs> fuck that, if I write any more some will probably fail
%
< errietta> i have a feeling that sometimes my mum's family are all crazy
< errietta> i put a telnet command on facebook that was on port 666
< errietta> and my aunt called my mum asking what the 666 was and if i'm 
            a satanist or something
%
< errietta> http://errietta.me/social_life.jpg
< errietta> pictured: my social life
< errietta> (i need to re-evaluate my life choices.)
< errietta> right after i fix this bug.
%
< LeoNerd> I stayed in an Isis once. Terrible experience
< LeoNerd> Ibis. Sorry, Ibis. not Isis
< mst> LeoNerd: at least there's always a flogger handy when you need one
< LeoNerd> Yeah, so often I think to myself "Ah, wish I'd brought my full set"
%
<@cat-xeger> Agile for parents?
<@rjbs> we do waterfall parenting
<@rjbs> it involves a child-sized barrel
<@DrForr> "I thought I'd never get out of that sack."
%
< kentnl> I guess if you're going to drown a puppy, you may as well do a 
          bag full at once for efficiencies sake.
%
< skaufman> stonecolddevin: thanks for endorsing my HTML skills >:(
< skaufman> i can also put pants on
%
< Kassandry> Yes, where you have the right to fuck bears ^H^H^H^H bear arms.
< TBSliver> "where you have the right to fuck bear arms"?
< mst> bonus goatse points if you can take it up to the elbow
< Kassandry> But then you miss out on the prostate stimulation from the claws.
%
< dthor> ever completely refactor a bit of code and have no idea how it 
         works now?
< mst> yes
< mst> I think arguably I called the end result 'DBIx-Class-0.01.tar.gz'
%
< triddle> part of my rant fest on debian-cloud was race conditions that 
           impacted me 
< triddle> fucks given: zero
< Kassandry> pandas made sad: infinite
%
<@kentnl> you'd think a dist that managed versions would have a concept 
          of version changes.
< mohawk> i think if one opens the irony door there, the backdraft will 
          suck you in and vapourise you
%
< ironm> Hello. can you recommend a book for object oriented perl programming?
< LeoNerd> Just read the docs of your favourite OO system of choice
< LeoNerd> Or write a new one and then read the docs you just wrote :)
< LeoNerd> I recommend against the second option for beginners
%
<@kentnl> If it's any consolation, my engine is also firing on no 
          cyclinders to find an appropriate pun.
<@kentnl> See, can't even spell cylindes.
 * kentnl cries
%
<@perigrin> when I claim to be "taming the python" it just means I'm 
            fixing the requirements.txt file for pip
%
 * kentnl used that approach until he got annoyed by himself using it.
< kentnl> I think kids these days would call that "science" 
%
< gbjk> Do you have them in two groups?
< gbjk> One set in a control group, one really using python 3.
< gbjk> Do *NOT* forget to feed them.
< gbjk> I always feel so guilty when my test subjects die from starvation.
%
< ether> I keep my facebook account open so I get notified when people 
         try to tag me in photos
< ether> and then I can remove the tag
%
 * TimToady is (uniquely!) not allowed to either burn out or skip backlogs
< TimToady> in my case 'unique' and 'distinct' are not mutually exclusive
< mst> TimToady is the ultimate union type
< TimToady> mst: however, I'm not allowed to go on strike
%
<@rjbs> I saw a cool $1k electric scooter, but not $1k cool.
<@sungo> steal one from walmart and rice it. put a gentoo sticker on it too
<@rjbs> emerge scooter
< alh> cpanm scooter. Found dependencies: Moose. Fuck it I'll walk
%
< joel> i used to hate wordpress because it sucks itself
< joel> but omg wordpress is a shining light, a paragon of good design 
        and coding, by comparison with the sea of effluent that is its 
        plugin ecosystem
%
<@perigrin> one day I shall not be a total idiot
<@perigrin> today is not that day
%
< tm604> store as epoch with velocity compensation, just in case anyone's
         planning on taking your code on periluminal flights
< thrig> tm604: european or african?
< tm604> thrig: I try not to swallow at all at that speed
%
< garu> I meant "a view", not a virtual table, whatever the fuck that is
< garu> I think I'm gonna invent it and make it awesome so I can save face
        next time I see you :)
< garu> ...or just pretend it never happened and hide under the table
%
< sobel> ...just imagine living here, your whole life, fully aware that 
         HFCS replaced sugar and Hershey's doesn't sell any chocolate
< sobel> and that's why daddy drinks
%
<@BooK> you can't have both a family and PAUSE account
<@BooK> I thought it said so on the online form
%
 * ubu floats by
 * jasonmay clear: both;
 * ubu still doesn't line up the way you expect
%
< Su-Shee> mr nutella died last week, btw.
< Altreus> oh well his legacy lives on
< Su-Shee> on many hips, spread on many bodies and toasts.. ;)
%
< frew> fwiw I don't love xunit, I just have a parser for it :)
%
<@ether> remember, programming is like sex - make one mistake, and 
         someone's supporting it for the rest of their lives
<@ether> programming birth control is harder to come by, it seems
%
<@sungo> I don't need to get or spread STDs via my doorbell.
<@alh> Yeah; that's what they come inside for.
<@ether> avoid pregnancy by coming outside instead.
%
< DrForr_> Politics.
< Grinnz_> thanks obama!
< DrForr_> Caesar, actually.
< Grinnz_> eh, caesar was a hack, just some guy who invented salad dressing
%
<@daveh> “Effects of Parliamentary Elections on Suicide Rates in Hungary,”
<@davorg> Band names get sillier and sillier
%
 * DrHyde has paroxysms of delight
<@mst> if your nipples explode, you're cleaning it up.
<@DrHyde> it would just make a mess in my beard
%
< errietta> celebrate the release of errietta 2.1, the most stable 
            version to date
< errietta> all the problems and bugs have been completely 
            eliminSegmentation fault
%
<@ilmari> jsonb is the thing you can query
<@ilmari> well, the thing you can query with decent performance, thanks 
          to gin indexes
<@ilmari> there were some russians working on vodka indexes, but that stalled
%
< cfedde> who wants their worst fears confirmed.
< mst> me - once it's confirmed I can go from worrying about whether it exists 
       to kicking the living fuck out of it until it stops threatening me
< mauke> this is how I think about god
%
<@trog> I thought systemD was a way to find out how many linux developers 
        were in a given building. Just utter it once and hear the 
        bitching commence.
%
< sungo> the one skill I hope I keep for the rest of what will likely be 
         my short life is the ability to stop a conversation/room with a 
         single sentence.
%
<@perigrin> That thing where you have to tell your kids that the cat is dead.
<@mst> ... bah, I really need to get around to getting another cat
<@mst> IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG SINCE I SHARED MY HOME WITH EVIL
<@perigrin> I have one that is now safe to ship to the UK.
%
< seiren> heating is borked, i want to move.
< errietta> seiren: i have a solution to both your problems,
< errietta> set fire to the house, you will be warm and probably also be 
            forced to move
%
< u6ydu6651> mst: You treat me like an idiot... I don't like that :P I know
             that you are a mod here and aspire to be the local king, but
             seriously, be more gentle to people, please :P
< nicomen> mst: can I be your local princess btw?
%
<@ether> you know, I think half the reason I stick around with this 
         community is it makes me feel like I'm socially normal
%
* Dorward is currently gold plating cats using JavaScript
%
< genehack> i hate it when i dream i deployed something
< ribasushi> genehack: did it break in the dream?
< genehack> it never breaks in the dream, that's how you know it's a dream
%
<@daveh> you can always revert to SOAP
<@theorbtwo> You *could*, if you were some sort of sadist who perfered 
             their pain to be as boring as possible.
%
 * castaway admires sky, takes pics with backup camera (the one we lost 
    then replaced then turned out not to have lost as mdk's small child 
    helpfully tidied it away into the toy box)
%
 * tom_m is currently in the UK, at least for a few weeks
< tom_m> recently arrived, still complaining about the cold
< tom_m> I had to start writing OpenGL again just to raise the room 
         temperature to something tolerable
%
<TBSliver> ze rabbit is in.... um... ve zeem to be hazzing a small problemz
<TBSliver> *red drips from bottom of hat*
%
<@mst> I'm bored of being blamed now
<@sungo> you have a penis. you'd better get used to it.
<@cat-xeger> he could cut it off, and store it under the bed
<@sungo> I've tried that. Somehow they always know
%
 * ether facepalms at $spouse... he just bought a new PC, and installed 
    Firefox from a malware site rather than mozilla.org.
<@ether> I am ashamed
 * ether should send him back to the kitchen and set up his machine for him
%
< ttkai> redhat kwalitee puts the "HEL" in "RHEL"
< mst> red hate enterforaprize linux
< cfedde> CENTOS
< cfedde> worth every penny
%
< vmb> 80% chance of bullshit storm with a possibility of crapfest.
%
"Now I get it: your service is designed for a customer base 
that grew up with Facebook, watches Japanese seizure robot 
anime, and has the attention span of a gnat. I'm not that user."
  -- triddle expresses displeasure with a "corporate IRC replacement"
%
<@Trelane> using git: it's all yes, cool, FUCK, FUCK NO, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU
           DO THAT, fuck I'm a moron, damnit what moron wrote the docs, how 
           about if I do this? I'M INVINCIBLE.  Hooray.  What the fuck was I
           suposed to be doing again?
%
< ew73> stonecolddevin: I once got unified login working with pam_ldap 
        and windows domain and samba.  **once**.
< ew73> As in, each user could log in once.
< mauke> ah, the fabled single sign-on
%
<@ether> fucking aussies
<@mst> sheep shagging bastards
<@mst> like the welsh but with worse beer
<@kentnl> well, without sheep shaggers, where would you get hobbits?
%
<@ct> why the hell is Bundle::CPAN bringing in something called Spiffy
<@perigrin> ct: because ingy
<@ct> the sad part is
<@ct> I dont remember what module I was originally going to install
%
-!- mst changed the topic of #chat to: <triddle> so for me the only 
    option would be a temp regulated bladder on a fake cock
< triddle> well at least its not in the quote database
%
< Kassandry> I had a moment, just a moment, where I thought the Intel 
             hiring managers were really into pegging.
%
< gtodd> mst: Indeed it does have a .packlist
<@mst> gtodd: you just said it didn't :P
< gtodd> mst: it was not where I expected it
<@mst> gtodd: nobody expects the spanish packlist installation
%
< quanticle> You kids and your apps. In my day, we walked uphill through 
             memes both ways to /b/ and when we got there, we got yelled 
             at to lurk moar newfag
%
< Kassandry> I thought you had your right arm tied to your left leg, 
             pushed into a pen of angry goats, and told to try and stay 
             up and make things work, working with ec2. 
< triddle> add in a blindfold and being tied to a boat anchor
%
<@mst> honestly, when I drank lager I drank foster's
<@mst> it was reasonably cheap and always the exact same sort of mediocre
<@perigrin> "We turned on the tap and a weasel popped out ... strangely 
            the Fosters didn't taste any different."
%
TBSliver: That works, let's ship it like a motherfucker!
erry: Ship it like FedEx!
idn: TBSliver, lie down on the floor here so I can stamp on you for erry
%
< Su-Shee> HELLO IS ANYBODY OUT THERE
< mst> THERE ARE AT LEAST FOUR OF US STILL HERE BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG 
       OUR FOOD WILL HOLD OUT
< Su-Shee> mst: YOU CAN'T EAT MY CAT
%
< ew73> mst: I heard you live in your mother's basement and eat cheetos all day.
< mst> ew73: does the space I hollowed out under the coffin to hide the 
       other bodies really count as a basement, though?
< ew73> Only if there's a water heater.
%
< seiren> I got a failed delivery card from amazon that just said, in big 
          black marker, "PARCEL"...
< Hazelesque> seiren: maybe you just couldn't read it?
< Hazelesque> I mean, if you don't speak parceltongue?
%
<@jberger> FormMail.PL still exists?!
 * jberger goes back to python
%
<@perigrin> ubu: hear about the failed ceviche? All stock and no raw.
 * ubu hovers over the /kick button
-!- mode/#axkit-dahut [-o ubu] by perigrin
< ubu> *bastardo*
%
-!- sagittarian [~kvirc@31.210.187.180] has joined #slatestarcodex
< sagittarian> dude, there's a #slatestarcodex channel???
< mst> DUUUUUUUUUUDE
< Betawolf> totally
%
< Dorward> It is 15:40 and I have had one meeting and spent the rest of 
                 my time fixing other people's problems.
< mst> isn't that a normal monday?
< Dorward> Normally more meetings
%
< tm604> mysql> select threw_away_my_data_ok('works as expected');
%
< triddle> google seems to have the attention span of a 3 year old not 
           watching sponge bob square pants
< Kassandry> Absorbent and yellow and porous is he! What? Squirrel!
%
< triddle> ok amazon you win this round with your incomprehensible sloppy 
           block device naming between hardware and paravirtualization
< triddle> time to shut this party down and try to do something sane like 
           not melt a cable after soldering a connector onto it
%
<Obormot> So apparently you can buy Lego pieces in bulk on eBay
<Regex_> Don't do it. You'll never be able to walk in the dark in safety again
%
< gtodd> if someone could afford the tuition, could handle the toll on their
         self-esteem and the levels of beer consumption, someone could well
         attend MSTU ; get an "F-" and finish as an improved JAPH
%
<@mst> three pumpkings told me Devel::Declare was impossible
<@alh> *a disembodied voice filled with pain and torment can be heard 
       whispering... "You should have listened...."*
%
<@mst> things that may raise ribasushi's blood pressure: 
       writing code, not writing code, speaking, not speaking, breadsticks
%
<@perigrin> Is that a feature or a bug?
<@sungo> depends on your perspective
<@mst> yes
<@perigrin> also breadsticks 
%
<@perigrin> it suddenly has decided the god object is undefined and is 
            throwing Template::Errors
<@perigrin> honestly if the app is going to have a crisis of faith it 
            needs to fail somewhere that *isn't* TT2 code.
%
16:19 <@errietta> huh?
16:19 <@errietta> oh
16:19 <@errietta> OOH
16:20 <@errietta> ding ding ding *lightbulB*
%
< huf> we're fucking elves when it comes to advice.
< Grinnz_> and what's wrong with cross species copulation?
%
<@ether> I know no new news
<@ether> mew mew
<@ether> (and how do you do, I'm a gnu)
%
< seiren> "The app has been designed in such as way that it can constantly 
          be upgraded and improved with the latest technology available."
< TBSliver> ...?
< Dorward> "The app has been described using marketing"
%
 * ether watches some JWs walk by outside.. stop at the sidewalk, look up 
    at our address, consult a clipboard, and move on
<@ether> \o/
%
<apeiron> puppet: almost as good a source of billable hours as centos
%
03:55 <mst> DONG DONG DONG DONG
03:56 < rjbs> https://twitter.com/big_ben_cock
03:56 < rjbs> won't be four dongs for another four minutes
03:57 < mst> rjbs: I've always been premature
%
<@mako132> I'm sure there's a "gesture" that you're not doing correct.  
           Have you tried swiping with 3 fingers and your left thumb?
< nperez> maybe you need to rub the phone on your butthole
< nperez> I mean, apple is infallible. You must be holding it wrong
%
<@mst> OS Bridge struck me as "if I'm not already black balled, I'm pretty 
       sure I'd manage to get thrown out on the first day"
<@perigrin> mst: *I* felt that way. I think they'd try to exorcise you.
%
< naptastic> So I asked Go, "How do you handle exceptions?" and Go said, 
             "I don't have them, because people abuse them."
< naptastic> To which I said, "well, nice knowing you!" and started 
             launching missiles.
%
< dha> I'm at a starbucks right now. It has wifi, iced tea, and a 
       bathroom. what more could I need.
< popl> self-respect?
%
<+triddle> note to self: hitting tab completion does not complete the 
           word in your head being typed into irc
%
<@alh> I'll always have fond memories of food poisoning and Uri
%
< bulk88> when it takes "-fno-stack-protector -fno-omit-frame-pointer 
          -fno-defer-pop -fno-schedule-insns2 -mno-accumulate-outgoing-args
          -mno-stack-arg-probe" to compile a "C" file and not have it SEGV
          you know its time take out the C file to behind the shed
%
< nydwracu> my eye doctor gave me homeopathic eyedrops once, saying that 
            some people liked them better but it was the same stuff
< nydwracu> and sure enough, it was saline solution with a homeopathic 
            concentration of marketing chemobabble
%
< errietta> kaitlyn: need help hiding the body?
< kaitlyn> Yes!
< errietta> try asking mst then *nod*
%
<@sri> sub UNIVERSAL::DESTROY { exit(255) if int rand 2 }
<@mst> sri: that's the AWS version, right?
<@sri> indeed
 * sri is a big supporter of clown computing
%
< theorb> I think mst's suggestion may be the saner one.
< theorb> ...and that is a very scary sentence.
%
<@hobbs> I don't code in APL either
 * ubu is holding out for emojiscript.
<@sungo> emojiscript exists
<@sungo> it's called 'swift'
%
< errietta> the male end got part of the female end in it
< errietta> i removed it with a sharp thing, but it's slightly bent now
%
< LeoNerd> I don't even *own* a bargepole. That's how unprepared I am.
< Altreus> LeoNerd: pah! Call yourself english
< LeoNerd> What use would *I* have for a bargepole? That's what I have 
           serfs for, surely?
%
<mst> my flight landed early
<mst> unfortunately, it was the first intl. one of the day
<mst> so we got to immigration and there weren't any staff yet
<mst> "sorry, it's too early in the morning, britain is closed"
%
<@ranguard> The wiki page show's a few people early
<@mst> ranguard: OH SHIT LOOK OUT HERE COMES AN S
<@ranguard> '''''''''
%
< jmadler> thoughts on: return wantarray ? ($response, $status) : $response;
< mst> FOOTGUN FOOTGUN FOOTGUN FOOTGUN FOOTGUN
< mst> my %thing = (... res => thing() ... ); # CAW CAW BANG FUCK YOU'RE DEAD
 * popl feels like a little worm on a big fucking hook.
%
<@perigrin> so I couldn't find the cider in the grocery last night, and the
            beer was all Ice House and Budwiser and stuff I knew I didn't like.
            I passed a case of Mike's Hard Lemonade and though "but I don't
            want to learn PHP" before I even processed what I was doing.
%
< sng> gjb, Glen Barber FreeBSD release manager, won the con. 
< sng> Steve Bourne told him to fuck off. 
< sng> That's winning. 
< sng> Nobody is quite sure why. But we all know we were jealous. 
%
< triddle> uh oh, got an alert from amazon monitoring (cloudwatch) that 
           all 7 of our 6 short link expanders failed last night
< TBSliver> EC2, the walled fencepost error.
%
< tm604> getopts with template support and URI query parsing? ISAGN
< tm604> "if no options are provided, will join a random IRC channel and 
         start asking survey questions until /kicked"
%
<@ether> according to [bug] I'm a random incompetent person
<@ether> dammit, I demand to be a *specific* incompetent person!!!
 * ether stomps around.
%
< thrig> Klaatu Barada Nikto Paamayim Nekudotayim Mod Perl
%
< boftx> first rule of Unix: don't reinvent the wheel, steal it
%
< khw> The inevitable has happened, and now people are proposing emoji 
       for veganism and gluten-free
 * mst ponders sending in a proposal for a 'Jumping Shark' emoji
< mauke> COMBINING FONZ ABOVE
%
15:57  * DrHyde hits mysql with a hammer
16:00 <@DrHyde> damn, it's still there
16:00 <@DrHyde> Jeeves, fetch a larger hammer!
%
<@pete> ilmari: Sounds like communism
<@pete> ilmari: Or at least, France
%
< Zr40work> are we webscale yet?
< mst> Zr40work: disable fsync and put your tablespaces on tmpfs
< Zr40work> also use hash indexes, and shard the hypermaster with TDR 
            unicorn async websocket threading please send help
%
<@sungo> because what i need in my life is yet another messaging product 
 * ubu sends sungo a singing telegram 
<@mst> you realise he's going to kill and eat that, right?
<@genehack> there goes the diet.
%
< hobbs> someone called me a horrible person for suggesting that emoji 
         was a slippery slope that Unicode shouldn't have started down
< LeoNerd> But slippery slopes are such fun
< LeoNerd> Especially if you're wearing PVC shorts
%
< b0at> so it's just a small effort to get that raptor to eat an onion 
        while riding a camel.
 * pink_mist would fear litigation if he tried that
< b0at> don't _force_ the raptor. just ask nicely.
%
< haarg> genehack: you filed that PR against your own fork
< genehack> haarg: *headdesk*
<@mst> Dear me, please accept this patch from me. Love, me.
< genehack> i rejected it. that guy's on drugs.
%
< rjbs> Someone should make a short film of Terminator, set in 2015.
< rjbs> T-800 shows up, gets a Facebook account, finds the right Sarah's 
        current location, kills her on the first go.
%
< Kassandry> It's always harder to do ethical, fair trade organ harvesting.
%
< mst> SHARD THE HYPERMASTER! CLOUD! CLOUD! CLOUD! CLOUD!
< idn> ribasushi: mst is playing your song
< ribasushi> idn: "Rape me" by nirvana?
%
<@DrHyde> i have decided to retire to a smallholding in the Hebrides, 
          effective immediately, where the hardest problem will be 
          deciding which of my many beauteous sheep to fuck this evening
<@DrHyde> sheep are easier to debug and configure than enterpriseware
%
< popl> we just need to throw our finest engineers at the problem!
 * popl develops an engineer cannon.
%
      -!- Topic for #moose: Did you forget coerce => 1? | Paste at
          http://paste.scsys.co.uk/moose | Moose 2.1405 & 2.1500-TRIAL
17:51 -!- icjs [~nusquam.e@195.171.206.230] has joined #moose
17:54 < icjs> "Did you forget coerce => 1" - heh, that fixed it
%
< miyagawa> welcome to CPAN, a world wide bug corpus repository
%
<@sungo> BURN IT ALL DOWN AND SNORT THE ASHES
%
< mst> 99% of bugs boil down to "oh shit, I'm an idiot" in the end, no 
       matter how much experience you have :D
< alh> Some of us are doubly unfortunate though, IE, we use a lot of mst 
       ware, and so we're subject to his bugs as well
%
<@vmbrasseur> It's pretty rare my social circle gets to see me put on my 
              work persona.
<@mst> * vmbrasseur puts on her robe and wizard hat
<@vmbrasseur> Well actually: it's a hooded cloak. Much more menacing.
%
< Mithaldu> which of course works perfectly fine if you have only one user
%
< genehack> a friend's dog got super sick because he ate some poop on a trail
< genehack> turned out to be human poop
< genehack> from somebody that was apparently stoned to the gills
< genehack> dog got a THC overdose
%
< popl> thrig: Some time in the future there will be a society that 
        communicates solely by exchanging Monty Python clips.
< thrig> game called on account of wafer thin mint
%
< mauke> "Whenever I lead my users to water they hang themselves with it. 
         I really don't know how."
< Kassandry> mauke: That's more creative than a lot of my users. They mostly
             stick their head in the water and take a deep refreshing breath.
%
<@hobbs> apparently the only way to get an instrumenting profiler is 
         basically source filters
<@sungo> go is such a great language.
<@sungo> oh wait. the other thing
%
<sevvie> I really hope someone writes a biography about me, and it's a 
         bestseller one day. "What Not To Do: A Clear and Concise Example"
%
< mst> footgun isn't even close, at this stage the gun is loaded and 
       pointed squarely at your genitals
< mauke> the gun is cocked
< mst> ... I hate you
%
< alh> Luckily I had a d4 near by to 'estimate' my story points
%
< Dorward> BEHOLD MY FIELD OF NAKED YAKS!
< Dorward> I had to shave them so they would be skinny enough to fit down
           the rabbit hole.
%
<quicksilver> I am, technically, Technical Director of some company 
<quicksilver> but I can't work out which
%
< ether> argh fucking php programmers
<@alh> Never a good idea ether
<@mst> alh: first she'd need a lolita outfit
<@alh> She can borrow something of mine then
%
<@leont> They once tried to "firewall almost everything, then see who
         complains". Turns out the access system to the university buildings
         was now also firewalled. A number of windows were sacrificed by
         scientists that really needed to get to their experiment.
%
<@rjbs> I have a soft spot in my heart for Compaq.  Or was that my skull?
%
< ttkai> "inside-out objects" makes me think of Twisted
< mst> LA LA LA LA CAN'T HEAR YOU NOT REMEMBERING USING THAT
< tm604> 10 points from hufflepuff for mentioning Twisted
%
< yesbot> Otherwise, construct-arglist creates code that initializes argl 
          with the last argument is handled differently. There is no God.
%
< ether> but that was also the job where my met my spouse
< ether> s/my/i?
< preaction> i met i spouse? ;)
< preaction> error: lacks /g flag. my interpreter is buggy. need caffeine.
%
< fibbance> One advantage of Dvorak is that q & w are far apart
< sh> It's pretty impressive when a keybinding is so bad that you make it 
      better by just randomly having that key somewhere the people who 
      made it didn't expect.
%
-!- Flexor [~mrw@nerdhole.plus.com] has joined #afp
-!- cat is now known as cat_afk
< Flexor> I have that effect on women.
%
 * sue mumbles at janky virgin cable modem
<@Zefram> ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
%
< errietta> 99 fucking bugs in the code, 99 fucking bugs
< errietta> take one down, patch it around 
< errietta> Segmentation fault (Core dumped)
%
<sevvie> What's a third-wave feminist's favourite colour?
<sevvie> Internalized Mahogany
%
<scrottie> "Configuring Windows updates: 1% complete - Do not turn off
           your computer."
<scrottie> You've got 12% battery left. One of us didn't think this through.
%
< popl> I wonder how many raytracers exist as a result of boredom.
%
< kd> it will give me great pleasure to stab cgi.pm to death shortly 
      after the prolonged murder of mod_perl is done
%
<GeekNerd> Pricey: is this ever likely to change?
<RUBICN64> GeekNerd, when pigs sprout wings and fly AKA never
<mst> "when pigs fly" is outdated; most police forces have helicopters already
<TDSoul> "bacon one to bacon two, over"
%
<@jkg> "yesterday I assembled a team of orcs, and today we will burn it 
       to the ground. no impediments"
<@tomboh> ah, that's what a burn down chart is for
%
< Grinnz> always single quote your bash strings, and when that fails,
          stick your tongue in a blender
%
18:47 < AshBerlin> "The 18.36 will now depart at 18.43" Really Southern Rail?
%
< Acte> Last time we hung out, several people fell in a river and there 
        was a swordfight over a Nutella jar 
%
< phaylon> honestly, being in IT and having the ability to learn new 
           stuff makes me not worry too much
< phaylon> someone's always gonna hate a computer enough to give me money 
           to deal with it
%
< Zoffix> Ah, two pounds of giant shrimp. The second best thing to alcohol.
%
<@gwern> fucking blogs. I spend all afternoon writing up a rebuttal with 
         code and full explanations, and 'Your HTML cannot be accepted: 
         Must be at most 4,096 characters'
<@gwern> fine, I'll submit it as *two* comments -_-
%
<@sue> it's all fun and games until the lid unscrews itself in your 
       jacket pocket and you accidentally kill yourself and the people 
       sitting near you on the bus
%
<@perigrin> this is not my beautiful shell
<@perigrin> and you're not my beautiful editor
<@genehack> modes flowing underground 
<@genehack> same as it ever was 
%
< Kassandry> I am really a teenage girl at heart. An overly cheerful, 
             sometimes fatalistic, drinking, gun toting redneck teenage 
             girl at heart.
%
< Su-Shee> *sigh* ... why am I even cleaning my appartment...
< Su-Shee> cleaned flat. cat vomits. cleaned vomit, showered. cat hairs 
           all over my favorite shirt. I vacuum. cat uses litter box 5 
           minutes after. I vacuum AGAIN.. what did I hear just now..?
%
<errietta> i don't want to have to worry about this crap
<errietta> i have other stuff to worry about
%
< Kassandry> It's hard to find out what exactly is shitting the bed when 
             everything's leaving skidmarks in the logs and looks like a 
             potential candidate.
%
A newspaper was sort of like an internet website. It was made of something
called paper and delivered by actual people to your door. People used their
hands to scroll through it. Push notifications and updates took ~24 hours
to reach newspapers. Not much else is known about these ancient artifacts.
%
<@hobbs> It weirds me out when I run into young grumpy sysadmins
<@perigrin> I worked with apeiron ... 
<@mst> I was a sysadmin when I was 18
<@ubu> i'm sure you were sweet and accommodating, just like now. 
%
< thowe> I find not using PHP is its own reward.
%
< mst> st0461++
-!- st0461 is now known as st0462
%
<Kassandry> Living on a farm means that sometimes you have to whack off a horse
<Kassandry> ...
<Kassandry> Don't you dare quotefile that
<Kassandry> It's not bestiality when you're helping the vet
%
< quicksilver> if they float, they're witches
< quicksilver> or is it ducks?
< quicksilver> I always get confused.
< quicksilver> burn them anyway, it's safer
%
<@mst> my ORM Wars talk equated Jar Jar to Ima::DBI ;)
<@rjbs> Meesa::DBI
<@mst> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
<@rjbs> Meesa propose to be gives emergency powers to UNIVERSAL::isa!
%
 * Dorward looks at some code from last year and punches himself
< Dorward> Dorward++ # Tests. Lots of lovely tests.
< Dorward> Dorward-- # No documentation that explains how to actually RUN 
                       the tests
%
<@kd> I really don't like the way the critic api rules work, it's optimised
      for a very prescriptive way of writing perl, while ppix::refactor is
      geared towards "here's a gun, here's your foot, here's a system to help
      you aim such that your chances of missing are reasonable"
%
<+triddle> dude the last time I tried to start the puppet server it 
           vomited on the floor
<+triddle> then passed out drunk again
%
< triddle> and only 2.5 hours away from the rental tommy gun
< Kassandry> That's very close to where I live.
< Kassandry> It's right next to the porn store and the billboard about 
             how God can set you free from your porn addiction.
%
<@hobbs> something is wrong with Hollywood, I just saw the third movie I 
         respected in like two months.
%
< Su-Shee> 20:26 < tm604> or the d3 geo stuff, although that'd be more 
           suited to a one-off task.
< Su-Shee> sorry. cat. he has learned copy paste.
%
<@alh> I still don't have the who vs whom rules down
<@sungo> there is only one rule. people who use 'whilst' are assholes
<@mst> sungo: whilst is a fucking awesome word.
<@sungo> like I said, assholes
%
< aristotle> JS == is a sort of low-key smartmatch baked into the 
             language forever
<@mst> right, real men write ===== or whatever it is
< aristotle> mst: I think it was 8=========D
%
< guest666> The amount of money a philosophy degree will get you depends 
            on how good at welding you are.
%
< Popehat> [a1] If I could get Saudi Arabia for saying their "justice 
           system" compared unfavorably to ISIS, I would be so happy.
< Popehat> [a2] Sorry that tweet left out "get Saudi Arabia to sue me."  
           My tweet got decapitated, possibly by Saudis.
%
< JBeshir> "Vibration patterns optimised by artificial intelligence"
< mst> the next generation of teledildonics
< JBeshir> "Full comprehension of your preferences"
< Philonous> That turned weird quickly...
%
< random> GAH NOSE COLD CAT!
%
 * Dorward fails to find his Raspberry Pi 2
< Dorward> What a world we live in in which it is so easy to lose an 
           entire computer
 * Dorward sets up his Pi 1 to see if it is powerful enough for the job
%
< pol> I do have a huge intolerance for pointless delay though.
< pol> Which may lead to some interesting discussions between myself and 
       project managers who want me to work down to their speed.
< pol> "GET OUT OF MY WAY - IMPLEMENTATION COMING THROUGH"
%
< mst> huf: bottle o' dog -> newcastle brown
< huf> ah.
< Altreus> is there a dog on newky brown?
< Altreus> I only remember a star, and also hangovers
%
< quicksilver> when I was 18 I worked with a guy who used IRC in the office
< quicksilver> I was deeply suspicious. I thought it was dirty.
< perigrin> quicksilver: you were right.
%
< LeoNerd> *God* disconnected? My my...
< Grinnz_> * God has quit (Connection reset by peer)
< thrig> jealous hera, again?
< LeoNerd> Grinnz_: Surely "(Excess flood)" ?
%
< Kassandry> Take them outside first, though.
< Kassandry> You don't want to get burning dev in the fans. It reduces 
             the lifetime of the components. 
< Kassandry> And creates a greasy film that's hard to clean
%
 * LeoNerd wonders if a curried method reference on an undefined object 
    should be called a naan value
%
<@BinGOs> I Heath Robinson dual-boot by swapping sata cables.
%
< Altreus> I've determined that this date formatting style - 'Y/m/d 
           H:i:s' - is called "I wanted to be compatible with PHP instead 
           of the real world"
%
< rjbs> yesterday Gloria called to ask if she left the stove on
< rjbs> I thought, "if my stove was on the internet, she could check from 
        her phone."
< rjbs> and then I imagined someone blowing up my house with a root kit
%
< quicksilver> errietta will FIX ALL THE THINGS
< quicksilver> only (and this important)
< quicksilver> do not give her the things which are not broken
< quicksilver> for she will 'fix' those too
%
< mst> wait, you're under Plack but using CGI.pm
< mst> I ... I ... I ... I ...
< blue_sky> you've crashed mst
< blue_sky> someone reboot mst
%
<@saturn2> my prediction is your fridge will have an AI dedicated to 
           showing you personalized ads, but it still won't sync with 
           your calendar correctly
%
-!- jeffg [~jeffg@pdpc/supporter/professional/jeffg] has joined #fosdem
< jeffg> can somebody clue me in to the location of the "reconfirm attendance"
         control on my accepted talk? last year trouble ticked it for me, but
         i'm determined to find it myself this time :)
%
<@mst> atda
<@mst> fucking keyboards, how do they work
< genehack> you hit them
< genehack> with your face 
%
< mst> I really quite like Tcl. vimscript OTOH ... "at least it's not m4"
< thrig> or we could do arrays in bash
< huf> i pretend those arent real
< huf> i've been known to sleep some nights, so i think i'm on to something
%
<@mst> actually, I think my first thing to try would be to strace the code
<@mst> and try and match up the new value of $! with a failed syscall
<@mst> but I mean if strace was a person I'd totally be asking them out 
       to dinner so maybe I'm biased
%
<@sungo> I would just like to point out that Greece featuers "Drama Airport"
<@sungo> I think I'll add it to my list of airports to avoid
%
< mst> I've installed spacemacs to play with org-mode
< Grinnz_> spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacemacs
< Altreus> spac-emacs
< mst> I hate you all
%
< sawyer> route_parameters is a typo :(
< sawyer> errr.. request_parameters
< sawyer> i typo'ed the typo :/
< sawyer> "i don't always fuck up, but when i fuck up, i fuck that up too"
%
< mst> Do Not Call Up That Which That Which You Can Call Up Cannot Put Down
< Grinnz_> ...parsing error
< Grinnz_> Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo
%
<@gwern> that reminds me of the time my dog caught on fire
%
< Su-Shee> julian assange was a postgres contributor?!
< thrig> someone else had to patch the leaks afterwards
%
< FAMAS> mst: what were the reasons behind your de-staffment?
< mst> freenode has a policy of being nice to idiots. I wasn't very good at it.
<+christel> mst: LOL
 * christel hugs mst
%
<@ilmari> "If you are not a current or former head of state, don’t ask us 
          for a deleted username."
<@mst> hah
<@Nicholas> quick, invade Sealand
%
< AcidRain> perlbot: i love you
< perlbot> AcidRain: leave me alone
< AcidRain> well! i didnt know it was like that.
 * AcidRain puts head down in shame
%
<@pete> I am wondering what people's preferred consiumption format is
<@pete> Slides? Prose? Audio?
<@osfameron> it depends?
<@LeoNerd> Is it available as a suppository?
%
< Skarsnik> it's libmysqlclient
< Skarsnik> that has nothing to do with mysql-client actually
< abraxxa> a client that doesn't require its client library, yeah,
           looks like mysql ...
%
< quicksilver> you opened their minds too far
< quicksilver> now it's all going to fall out on the floor
< quicksilver> I hope you have a liquids-capable vacuum cleaner
%
< Dorward> Oh Dear Creator! Spammers have discovered animated emoji
< quicksilver> it's not such a bad thing, Dorward 
< quicksilver> it helps you spot the spam quickly
< Dorward> quicksilver: But then I have to clean the vomit off my keyboard
%
 * mst passes the vodka ... oh, good, it isn't completely empty
<@ether> bottomless vodka would be a marvellous invention
<@ether> can we refill bottles via induction?
<@sungo> here in the US, we call them "bartenders"
%
< autogen> do you guys overcomplicate things on purpose?
< autogen> or is it just autism?
< Logos01> autogen: ... both.
< Obormot\Solaria> Yeah, def. "both"
%
 * perigrin watches trog learn enough to stuff the ballet box with 'perigrin'
<@perigrin> ballot too
<@ubu> you in a ballet box is *so* much more interesting, though...
<@trog> The tutu around the box really lends itself to voter fraud.
%
 * BinGOs really can't be bothered reading the scrollback.
< mauke> I wrote* a generic Makefile.PL
< mauke> * overengineered
%
< cxreg> we just realized that thanks to perl, "man splain" is a valid command
%
<@chargrill> ...
<@chargrill> you should totally fire that guy
<@chargrill> into the sun
%
 * ology questions his life decisions and considers a career in gas 
    pumping or fry serving
<perigrin> disease vector has been a popular dream of mine for my next career.
<perigrin> I'd feel like I was giving back somethign to scociety.
%
< bfwg> the downside of laying things out consistently between machines,
        is you don't notice you're on the wrong machine at first
%
< huf> software that should be equally usable for programmers and 
       managers? you're seriously asking why that would be a mess?
< thrig> it's written in common lisp and sharepoint
%
16:48 <+triddle> is there a good time today to talk migration?
17:02 <+triddle> oh wtf how did it wind up being saturday
17:03 <+triddle> never mind, ignore me
17:03 <+triddle> at least I didn't commute to the office
%
 * GumbyNET7 CPAN Upload: Dist-Zilla-Plugin-Readme-Brief-0.003000 by KENTNL 
< mst> kentnl: reading in your briefs again? :D
< kentnl> mst: yeah. Its kinda like reading tea leaves, except instead of 
          seeing the future, you see what you had for dinner yesterday.
%
< Su-Shee> <postmodernism>gender is an illusion</postmodernism>
< mst> as ever, postmodernism has its own agender
< mauke> I'm a little low on genderfluid
 * Su-Shee passes a bottle of androgyn.
%
< Obormot\Solaria> I got my wallet as a gift
< Obormot\Solaria> I've been repairing it for nearly 20 years
< Obormot\Solaria> It's more duct tape now than leather
< Obormot\Solaria> Its mind is twisted and evil
%
< Su-Shee> I was freely associating "stallion" into "dick" of course
%
<@mauke> hold my beer
<@mauke> perl -e 'use Class::Std (); use AnyEvent (); AnyEvent->condvar'
<@mauke> Goto undefined subroutine &main:: at AnyEvent.pm line 1522.
%
< mauke> hold my beer, I'm going to downgrade ExtUtils::MakeMaker by copying
         files from the 5.6.1 tarball
 * mst chugs the beer and refuses to watch this
< genehack> that's more than a 1 beer job there.
%
< errietta> i can't say i entirely blame them. I wrote a video 
            conferencing app based on webRTC in year 2.
< errietta> the results of that research were that the app flipped a coin 
            to decide whether to work or not
%
< triddle> boss> hey sorry I'm tied up still, will get back to you ASAP
< triddle> me> no worries, I'm wrangling the devs, so unless they come 
           crying to you there isn't a problem, i'm moving forward
< triddle> boss> if the devs are crying ops is doing their job
%
 * ilbelkyr offers staffpony a carrot?
 * ilbelkyr not familiar with pony eating habits
 * mniip feeds staffpony a hayburger
<+staffpony> carrots work, I thi ... HAYBURGER
%
< nox> Self-hosted code is when you implement DOM in JS, btw.
< nox> So the JIT can just go YOLO and compile through the code that is 
       supposed to be native and opaque.
%
< furrywolf> I'm glad my blinds don't run systemd...  they'd be bolted to 
             my washing machine and air conditioner, and I couldn't open 
             them because opening them isn't something any normal user 
             would want to do.
%
< ew73> I just wrote:  my @list = new HashMap<String, ()>;
< ew73> I think I might need a break.
%
<mst> generally new toolchainers always think the old guard are grumpy 
      paranoids up until they're part of an incident that temporarily 
      breaks 10%+ of CPAN and then suddenly the next generation see 
      -them- as the paranoids ;)
%
< mst> s||| strikes me as a "fuck me gently with a chainsaw" moment 
       waiting to happen
< rewt> s### if you can't decide if it should be a comment or not ;)
< mauke> mst: s\\\
%
< huf> oh come on... bad error messages are like vomit on the pavement
       on a saturday morning
< huf> it's a basic part of civilization
%
< norrahc> And then god said, "What's on the other channels?"
%
< perigrin> "you can't fuck this up" is more a challenege for EC2 than a 
            statement of fact.
%
<@ether> cat caught the mouse \o/
<@ether> cat didn't kill the mouse, kept playing with the mouse, let the 
         mouse escape /o\
<@ether> We Had Words.
%
<@cat-xeger> Well... the kitten is certainly goal oriented...
<@cat-xeger> (we've just been having a discussion about not leaping 
             without a landing, and not using me as a ladder)
%
< Grinnz> Text::Xslate is nice and simple
< Grinnz> as is Text::Template
< Grinnz> Template Toolkit for when you need the kitchen sink
< kitchen> please check before using my sink
%
< jeek> Also I now have a rootkit.
< jeek> and my dog just died.
< mst> damnit, my post was supposed to give you cancer. my aim must be off.
< jeek> I haven't been tested yet.
%
<@saturn2> mst: is being given a heron overdose a utopia?
< mst> heron overdose, for when fisting just isn't enough anymore
<@gwern> mst: heron overdose, for when bluefooted boobies and tits just 
         aren't exciting anymore
%
< TBSliver> FUCKING APP DEV RETARDS AT DOMINOS
< TBSliver> changing address clears the basket. INCLUDING ON THE FUCKING 
            CHECKOUT SCREEN
< TBSliver> ARSE CUNTING BASTARD SHITMONGERS
%
< apeiron> If I was going to run Wordpress I'd treat it like the oher PHP 
           I run and put it in a jail
< sungo> in a jail. on a raspberry pi. in a faraday cage. in concrete. on 
         the bottom of the ocean
%
< huf> i heard some very english guys on the tram. they were fucked up on coke.
< huf> so they didnt have many consonants
%
< digidog> ls who the fuck is ls .... *cries*
%
< Jamo> I'm not sure if the subquery works
< koyae> Can't you just test it then BE sure?
< mst> but that would make sense
< koyae> You're right. That's a definite problem for that approach.
%
< masochist> if #freenode is anything like it was last time I was there, 
             probably not a bad place to hide the bodies
< masochist> lots of bridges to stick them under
%
< sawyer> only 38 more commits to review
 * p5commits Karl Williamson pushed to blead (v5.23.7-391-g856d91b): Karl 
          Williamson: t/re/reg_mesg.t: Add a couple of tests
< sawyer> 39
%
<@mst> the lead dev did not believe in tests
<@ether> sounds like every node developer I've met
<@ether> "f--- it, we'll test it live!"
<@ether> "why is ether crying?"
%
< LeoNerd> I once tried Biscuits in Gravy in the US. I was not amused
< LeoNerd> 1) They are not biscuits. 2) That was not gravy.
%
< leont> It becomes hilarious to point out to people that heredocs and 
         backticks can be combined, and do exactly what you fear they'd do :-p
< Exodist> leont, wait... oh damn.
< leont> I shouldn't tell this to people when I can't see their faces! :-o
%
-!- Kassandry [~lacey@162.247.40.130] has joined #chat
 * mst ropes kassandry to her chair
 * masochist gets out the flogger
< masochist> yes yes irony shut up
%
< sungo> side note: fuck linux
< Kassandry> Can you show me on the penguin where the bad OS touched you?
< sungo> no because my log files are binary
< Kassandry> Right. Fuck Linux. As you were
%
06:35  * apn vaguely contemplating dropping 8.5 support in twapi
06:35 < pooryorick> Do it!
06:36 <apn> ok, voting period is over. Majority says drop 8.5 support
%
< rmah> it's funny how euros think that "all over europe" means international
< mauke> rmah: "world series"
< rmah> mauke: we are the world
< rmah> we even have a song that says so
%
< FatalNIX> I got Acme::6502 connected to IRC, just gotta debug some assembly
< mst> FatalNIX: ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
< mst> I only have two hands, so I can't facepalm and applaud at the same time
< FatalNIX> I was waiting for mst's reaction :D
%
< jflav> I tend to write regex for colons as \Q:\E for clarity
< huf> my $colon_but_seriously_a_simple_COLON = ';'; and then use that
< tweakism> just use a string called "colon but true"
< Su-Shee> $colon_but_maintained
%
< huf> military planes have the annoying habit of partially crashing
< huf> some bits fall off and destroy cities
< Grinnz_> um. how many cities
< huf> like, i dont know, coventry and dresden
%
< ilmari> this kind of stuff always reminds me of how norway avoided the 
          morris worm
< ilmari> someone at the uni of oslo, where the satellite link came down, 
          heard of it and went and unplugged the internet
%
< LeoNerd> This might be my stupid fault of   my $Inf = 0 + "Inf";
< LeoNerd> Can you make that   0 + 1E100  ?
< LeoNerd> Oh but now /my/ one fails on 5.22
< LeoNerd> stupid infinity
%
 * GumbyPAN CPAN Upload: Scalar-List-Utils-1.43_004 by PEVANS 
    https://metacpan.org/release/PEVANS/Scalar-List-Utils-1.43_004
< LeoNerd> Fourth time's the charm...
< thrig> Forth time's the stack
%
< huf> gah. the word "burnt" is now echoing in my head in a scottish 
       accent. damn.
< huf> i'm going home
%
< Su-Shee> surprisingly, /mst msg does not work.
%
< huf> so far i've categorized the beers i've had as: piss, sweet brown 
       shit, weird belgian shit that smells and tastes like an alcoholic, 
       ipa and stout
< mst> huf: how many alcoholics did you lick in order to form this theory?
%
< Jens> I wonder if watching two seasons of Buffy in a week can 
        permanently damagify your talkingness.
%
<@ether> I'm going to call and yell at them, and get the text charges refunded
<@ether> if they give me a line about how all this is too complicated for 
         me to understand fuck you, I wrote billing engines for mobile 
         systems for five years
%
< triddle> there's only 1 small problem with using a top of the line 
           powermac g5 as a heater, it wastes something like 10% of the 
           energy on computation
%
< triddle> I think these things are destined to become cpan test 
           machines, or at least all the ones I think won't catch on fire
%
< gitgud_> officially discouraged -> officially a lie
< preaction> the use of threads is a lie?
< mauke> it's a piece of cake
-!- gitgud_ [~shadowpas@66-50-169-197.prtc.net] has quit [K-Lined]
%
< mst> I can't look!
< mst> TURN IT BACK INTO A SPREADHSEET
< Kassandry> mst is crying and he won't come out of the breakroom if 
             that's what you call success
%
< Obormot> Another innocent kitchen appliance, destroyed by a Russian 
           dessert recipe :|
< Obormot> They should make these things with replaceable fuses or 
           something
%
< sungo> OH FOR FUCKS SAKE
< sungo> THE WIKI IS WRITTEN FOR AN AS-YET-UNRELEASED VERSION
< Kassandry> *golfclaps*
< sungo> require 'dumpsterfire'
%
Cable company employees treat their jobs like working at the nsa. Don't tell
anyone because everyone will irrationally blame/hate you for the ills of a
faceless entity only tangentially related to you as an individual.
  -- [redacted]
%
< Kassandry> MOTHERGOATFUCKING ASSCHOKING INBRED CUMSNEEZING FUCKING NODE 
             DEVELOPERS OMG YOU LAZY ASS FUCKERS DIDN
< Kassandry> asdfasdfasdf
< Kassandry> FUCK
%
< snowbound> johto, movedx: how do you guys correct typing mistakes on 
             long queries?  Is there like a bash vi mode or such?
< movedx> I force children to do my typing for me, so mistakes are 
          corrected with a stick of bamboo filled with concrete.
%
< huf> why are you all allowed to go outside without a minder?
< huf> ... why am *i*?
%
< huf> yes but why is sql so fucking weird.
< huf> in general. what the hell is wrong with its face
< anno> it's an attempt to express relational algebra in cobol
%
< mcmillhj> ah the classic mistake &2>1 versus 2&>1; just consumed all of 
            the memory on my machine by accident
< Grinnz_> isn't it 2>&1?
< mcmillhj> ... damnit
%
 * ether starts to notice that the main drive is almost full; thinks 
    about restarting firefox soon to free up some caches. firefox just 
    crashed, so now I don't have to bother \o/
%
< huf> why do blokes at the pub feel like they need to tell me they hate jews?
< preaction> it's not every day someone walks up and tells you how much 
             they need to get punched
< huf> i'd have to punch like 9 million people if i started...
%
< TBSliver> Test from android client
< TBSliver|old> TBSliver: ping
 * perigrin watches TBSliver do the IRC version of checking his fly in public
< TBSliver|old> perigrin: if you wanna watch, thats up to you heh
%
< simcop2387> most of this started because i realized perlbrew has the 
              --as option when installing :)
< pink_mist> perlbrew install perl-5.22.1 --as python
%
 * Dom has a visitor from .no who is now an afper o_O
< Dom> s/now/not/
< Mort> Dom: She went from being an afper to not in that short a 
        timespan? What did you do?
%
 * mst 's nipples explode with delight
 * perigrin shovels more eels into mst's hovercraft.
<@genehack> pro-tip if you freeze the eels they shovel easier 
<@perigrin> sure tell that to me *now*
%
< teatime> BagHash sounds like something teenage hobbits would smoke.
%
<@arcanez> I kinda miss going to YAPCs
<@hobbs> come to sunny florida
<@arcanez> I live in ... sunny Arizona
<@hobbs> come to wet florida
%
< Exodist> no
< Exodist> oh, wait.
< Exodist> I typed that wrong
< Exodist> when I don't type it wrong it works.
%
< derp_commander> I've never liked twisted, I think it's too bloated, not
                  sufficiently modular, and not very UNIX-y
< derp_commander> it's like the systemd of python
%
<@toddr> Didn't see BvS. 6 yr old. 
<@toddr> Probably not going to let him see Suicide Squad either ;)
<@perigrin> I don't see why not, he made it through Deadpool didn't he?
<@toddr> Just the pegging scenes
%
< Grinnz_> you and your toolchain modules :P
<%ether> every one has a purpose!
< rjbs> I FOUND MY SPECIAL PURPOSE
< mst> people have such weird names for their genitals
%
< genehack> i am in closer proximity to strange genitals than i am 
            comfortable with
< genehack> i think i need an adult
%
< neilb> * * * let’s have a stand-up at 18:30 (uk time!) * * *
< BooK> neilb: I thought your line a crontab entry
< tadzik> same
 * neilb makes a note never to let BooK edit his crontab
%
< mst> mithaldu got confused by my using parsimonious :D
< genehack> parsimonious always seemed like it should be shorter, given 
            the concept it conveys 
< ether> that has verisimillitude
%
< MadcapJake> lol sorry! not much younger than you but I thought that 
              plaintext email was completely gone from our world :P
< skids> Go try posting HTML on lkml and see how much of your clothing is 
         not melted to your flesh afterwards.
%
< genehack> the last time i was in Chicago I was made to drink Malort 
< genehack> i'm not going back to Chicago any time soon
< jberger> genehack: that's just a gag we play on newcomers
< jberger> no one actually drinks that crap
%
< mst> xenu: http://trout.me.uk/ocd.png
< xenu> mst: i don't think gore belongs on perl channel
< mauke> don't make me /nick mauke[0} again
* mst is now know as {mst
%
< huf> i wish i was a little bit taller, i wish i was a ballmer...
%
< xenu> one of issues i've caught in this app: if we will move to newer 
        perl, the one with non-deterministic hashes (5.18+ i think?) our 
        db will get corrupted
< xenu> don't ask
%
< genio> automated emails from Grinnz :)
< Grinnz> automated found-5-authors-whose-cpan-address-doesn't-work so far
< Grinnz> .. 6
%
< satori> I shouted "Godwin's Law" in the office this week, and got 
          strange looks from all round when I read BBC news that Ken 
          Livingston said Hitler was a Zionist. I don't think I was 
          supposed to be reading BBC news at the time.
%
< Grinnz_> Today in MySQL doing cancerous things, apparently temporary tables
           are replicated by default in two of the three replication modes
< xenu> yeah, you have to prefix temp tables with something like "penis_" 
        and blacklist "penis_*" somewhere
%
< xenu> rational fortran is a fortran preprocessor which makes fortran c-like
< xenu> and is exactly what would one expect of semi-parsing 90s stuff 
        written in perl
< xenu> oh, and that perl code is preprocessed by m4
%
<@ct> in theory they could end up nominating someone who didn't even run
<@ct> Paul Ryan, The reanimated corpse of Ronald Reagan, "This stick with a
      face glued on"
<@ct> though to be fair you'd have to prove the stick was american and over 35
%
< XORXOROR> That reminds me I need to whip someone's butt gently to make 
            OwnCloud reality.
< mst> your sysadmin is a submissive?
< XORXOROR> Yes, he likes licking boots.
%
 * triddle updates ImageMagick's facebook security status to it's complicated
< masochist> I think if I took a look I'd explode like a volcano of rage
< sungo> is there a facebook status for "my ass is primed for fucking" ?
%
< triddle> welp its official, the logic for ImageMagick is optimized to 
           invoke system() when the user supplies possibly evil shell code
< triddle> if (!evil) { handle_as_if_evil() }
           else { handle_as_not_evil() } //winning
%
< tommy> I think everybody's read the news that the vast majority of 
         dockerhub official images have serious unpatched vulnerabilities 
         and some actually contain viruses...to which the world IT 
         reacted: neat!  MOAR CLOUDZ
%
< timotimo> i was going to say "i don't want someone who acts like that 
            in my perl6 community", but i think insulting mst is a sport 
            with proud heritage in the greater perl community, so i'll 
            let it slide :P
%
<@ether> if my interactions with the furry community have taught me 
         anything, it's that the proper way to deal with a porcupine is 
         simply to pet their quills in the right direction.
%
<@Grinnz> oh what fun it is to use version.pm wrong
<@Grinnz> (with a slightly odd cadence)
<@rjbs> how do you use version.pm with an odd cadence?
<@Grinnz> it sort of happens when you can't even
%
< Kassandry> :q
< Kassandry> ergh. 
< masochist> :q!
< masochist> no file for you
%
<@mst> my ($sql, @bind) = @$$query;
<@arcanez> @$$ holy sigils
<@arcanez> it's like perl is secretly swearing at you
<@perigrin> @$$hole.
%
< Altreus> Apparently I can do 6 hours of Rimworld with no problems, but 
           2 episodes of Darkest Dungeon ruins my throat
%
-!- staff_cant_code [~coder@12.sub-70-197-12.myvzw.com] has joined #freenode
<+sexytime> whatup staff_cant_code
<+sexytime> staff may not be able to code but you cant ban evade for shit
-!- staff_cant_code [~coder@12.sub-70-197-12.myvzw.com] has quit [K-Lined]
%
<+WoodyPC> Gotta go yall, Work not finished for the day. Still have 4 
           acres to mow.
<+uptime> good luck
<+WoodyPC> Tractor.....No luck needed.
%
-!- ilbot3 [~bot@tina.perlgeek.de] has joined #perl6-dev
< moritz> timotimo: ilbot3 suffers from throttling just as much as dalek does
< mst> IRC says: no breath play without a safe word
< moritz> mst: a safe *word* might be... insufficient when doing breath play
%
<@ubu> "I don't have to be faster than the bear, i just have to be faster 
       than *you*"
<@mst> premature ejaculation is normally frowned on in dungeons
<@ubu> depends on the pricing model, really.
%
< rooster255> mst: aren't you the author of common::sense?
 * mst sets rooster255 on fire
< tm604> rooster255++ # wars have started over less
< revhippie> tm604: don't do that, he'll overflow
%
< StoneCypherAW> oracle sql does not exist
< StoneCypherAW> oracle sql is a scary story that you tell to children to
                 get them to eat their vegetables
< StoneCypherAW> like canada
%
<jberger> why must the germans be so german
%
< xenu> just installed mongodb and node.js
< xenu> kill me, please
< thrig> how's it feel to be webscale now?
%
< ether> the cat just caught, and is now eating, a female American goldfinch
< mst> \o/
< sungo> great. you've taught your cat sexism
%
< Dom> Afternoon
< Mort> Hodor
 * Kincaid sniggers at mort
< Mort> Hodor?
%
 * genio goes to get coffee and throw things.
< mst> throw things first, or you might spill your coffee
< thrig> CHDM, or the chair-hucking development model, gained traction in 
         the computing industry in the late 20th century
%
< ZoffixW> My latest attempt to build a Perl 6 web app resulted in my 
           server eating 2GB of RAM in 1 hour and swapping like a hot 
           '60s couple.
%
<@trog> So the guy who made the regal cinema's roller coaster animation died.
<@trog> I aim to be that kind of famous.
<@trog> No one exactly knows who you are but a vast majority of the world 
        has seen something you made and gone hmm weird.
%
< huf> i'm gonna be buried with this fucking pun
%
< Anniepoo> I think you just need to debug it
< Anniepoo> welcome to a long life of groveling through code
< Anniepoo> if you're an undergrad, you're at the start of some 2 million 
            lines of groveling
%
< Su-Shee> people should use okcupid as id provider.. so that the professional
           developer network you just sign up on can display "these java
           developers in your region like this practice xyz as well"
%
< rjbs> I still find myself writing this pretty often, before fixing it:
< rjbs> sub foo ($x, $z, $y) = @_ {
< Grinnz_> yeah, those parameters are clearly out of order
%
 * mst swears, tries to work out where his brain went
< errietta> mst: it was tasty
< perigrin> that's a controlled psychotropic in like 160 jurisdictions ... 
%
< ilmari> you know you should go to bed when you try to change channels 
          with cd ../#foo
< ilmari> ../foo rather
< ilmari> cd ../too<tab> # why doesn't that complete to toolchain?
%
< ether> emojis have jumped the shark so long ago that now they're in a 
         different marine park
%
< pink_mist> pecan: are you 5?
< pecan> pink_mist: Are you asking me if I'm 5?
< tm604> pink_mist: nothing wrong with a bit of ELI5A
< gordonfish> explain like I'm 5 alcoholics?
%
< LeoNerd> Ohgod... tty_ioctls(4) is even worse
< LeoNerd> When arg is nonzero, nobody knows what will happen.
< LeoNerd> ^-- the manpage literally says that
%
< Logos01> There is no problem which cannot be solved by a sufficiently 
           sophisticated quantity of bees.
%
< mst> I just discovered 'Spring Cloud' exists
< mst> I feel like this should require me to take a shot.
< TBSliver> that looks like a java thing for the spring webframework
 * TBSliver reaches for whiskey
%
< mauke> someone implemented a jvm using refcounting
< mauke> the algorithm had to be extended to deal with cycles
< mauke> and that's where PHP got its algorithm
< Grinnz_> the one for deciding which order function parameters go in?
%
 * mst ponders rebranding the mstpan the Comprehensible Perl Archive Network
< dha> I think that may be a contradiction in terms.
< mst> dha: well, *I* understand it
< dha> I rest my case.
%
< pete> I are slow at the moment
 * pete 30,000ft above Raleigh
< rjbs> If I was 30,000ft over Raleigh, I think I'd be moving pretty fast
< rjbs> but hopefully not straight donw
%
<NamedN> i essentially just had an argument with my html fml
%
< genehack> current orlando weather status for those of you not lucky 
            enough to be here: thunder, pouring sidewise rain 
< kid51> A day like that makes you glad to be alive
< genehack> makes me glad to be inside 
%
< pink_mist> genio runs on systemd?
< genio> pink_mist: I think so.  As I mentioned earlier, I've been finding
         new ways to hurt myself while being dumb at the same time.
< genio> So, at least I have an excuse.
%
< NamedN> you know when you've been staring at html all day and put your 
          fb comments in <p> tags? yeah. that. 
%
< thrig> unix standards: made to be curiously changed by linux folk
%
Development environments should help programmers think (but what if most
programmers don't want to think?)
  -- Alan Kay
%
< kentnl> Filenames with BEL in them are awesome.
< kentnl> chdir foo<Tab>; "BEL" turns up in $PROMPT ... every line beeps.
%
< errietta> I was telling people to get to voting
< errietta> but my colleagues disappeared
< errietta> You could say they didn't... Remain at their post
< errietta> You could say they took an early... Leave
%
< Altreus> cat code?
< Altreus> sleep until hungry;
< Altreus> mew until fed;
< Altreus> eat; redo;
%
<@sue> that's right: let's un-decimalise
<@Zefram> bring back Lsd!
<@sue> only let's make it EVEN MORE DIFFICULT
<@Zefram> leap shillings?
%
< huf> you'd need some kind of anti-corporate movement to actually get
       good ISP-s :)
< Grinnz_> oh yeah, let's elect trump, i bet he's all about internet freedom
< Grinnz_> except for the parts that talk about his small hands
%
<@sungo> I was at the apple store this weekend and the rep reported that 
         they often get the question "Do you support Apple Pay?"
<@sungo> We agreed that in the future he should respond "No, we only 
         support Google's payment system on Nexus phones"
%
 * kentnl is now overthinking CoC 
< kentnl> it could have only been made worse if they called it 
          "Disciplinary Interpersonal Code of Kindness"
%
< Kassandry> Mm. Orphaned inodes.
< Kassandry> I shall call them Oliver.
%
< Su-Shee> what's in english the difference between tripled and trebled?
< Grinnz_> trebled sounds funny
%
< NamedN> k, am officially a nerd.
%
< huf> if i start making sense, call the ambulance, i've had a stroke.
%
< e> i think that in order to remove the potential ambiguities caused by 
     that, there should be a new law that all fleshlights have to also be 
     flashlights, and vice-versa
< e> all torches that you can't fuck are now illegal
%
< christel> i have fond memories of living in devon
< christel> apart from when you vomited on my walls
%
<@sungo> "You have unsaved changes! Press OK to go back and save. Press Cancel
         to continue." ... ... so I have to "Cancel" my exit to exit
<@rjbs> Press quit to exit, or exit to cancel.  Press abort to continue.
<@rjbs> [ OK ] [ Retry ]
%
< rkeene> rkeene.org is pretty reliable :-)
< dbohdan> True, it *is* pretty reliable. :-)
< rkeene> 15 years of continuous operation so far
< rkeene> If it goes down permanently it generally means I have died
%
< Grinnz> "But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you my master 
          plan. It's in an XML document." "You know what, just kill me 
          first, if it's all the same to you."
%
<@perigrin> the force can't seem to make the prequels go away.
%
<+TheRealGitGud> question. does the $j:##channel thing stack?
<+TheRealGitGud> if i keep regging channels and join those ban lists can 
                 i get an infinite amount of ban slots?
<+thumbs> suddently, I regret telling you about this.
%
< ahf> if one have a shitty manager, you can probably just reach out to 
       your union and let them deal with it
< tristan__> your what?
< ahf> tristan__: that is what we call guns in europe
%
< errietta> my anxiety has anxiety
%
< kloeri> if you pasted in the channel back in dmwaters time you'd first 
          get /kill'ed, then klined for good meassure, then firebombed to 
          make sure you got the message and then nuked so you wouldn't 
          repeat the mistake :p
%
<+m721> mst: I challenge you to a fight to the death
<+emerson> m721: that's a terrible idea
<+m721> emerson: I must regain my honor by challenging mst
-!- m721 has quit [Killed (mst (Challenge accepted. I win. Now hush.))]
%
<@rjbs> I don't want us to build a wall.
<@rjbs> I think it's a bad idea.
<@rjbs> BUT!!
<@rjbs> If we do, can we also wall off Florida?
%
< huf> no no, gender is this mysterious force that's created in women's 
       unshaved armpits and then goes on to attack poland
%
< SquadGoals> mst is literally trevor from gta v
%
< mst> I have concluded I cannot be fucked
%
<+noslen> Fuck, this is bad, I got my floppy disk stuck in my toaster.
<+noslen> How long do you toast it for?
<+mniip> disk? no typo?
%
< kentnl> [AntiFootGun]
< kentnl> ABSTRACT: Pointing this gun at places generates new feet.
 * kentnl puts this gun in his mouth
%
<@arcanez> people don't save their layouts?
<@ether> I do periodically but it doesn't happen automatically
<@ether> for a while mst was on 69 which was easy to remember.
< alh> Because it's close to his age?
%
< Burninate> Friendly reminder: Every time you misuse the word 
             "literally", Grammar Mengele will sedate you while you sleep 
             and flense another finger.
%
<+jelly> having a single point of failure is much better
%
< Logos01> (Ironically given the scenario involved, I could legitimately 
           claim that I fixed an issue by a process that *enabled* SELinux)
%
< Su-Shee> I can't do this anymore. too hot, no chocolate, the stupid herring
           salad was disgusting, chromium is still compiling, I hate hip shit..
 * Su-Shee looks for a java job at a bank next. or maybe insurance. 
< Su-Shee> maybe I should become an alcoholic...
%
<@rjbs> "illiquid" is clearly some form of D&D monster
<@rjbs> it's like the head of a mind flayer with a giant tail and it 
        swims around in brackish pools of subterranean ponds
%
<@alh> I don't know how to add friends in Origin
<@chargrill> alh: step one: have friends
<@alh> Shit
%
<@chargrill> every stick of gum in this pack has been double wrapped.
<@alh> That's the "Double" in Doublemint gum
<@chargrill> it's wrigley's 5 peppermint/cobalt
<@alh> Sure you didn't get papermint? 
%
<@mako132> can't think straight due to lack of snacks
<@sungo> fatty
<@mako132> don't make me go out and get a twix and hit you with it
%
<@sungo> I would just like to point out that MS Word for Mac 15.24 has a way
         to update all the field codes in a document. (Field codes are like
         table of contents, references, etc.) It's pretty easy. You go and
         change a default preference and then print the document. 
%
< revhippie> "The JSON library is fine.  Unless the consumer is 
             incredibly dumb, then we'd have to build it as a faux-JSON 
             string."  "Our boss wrote the consumer."
%
<@ct> it seems telling how fast we've gone from "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" 
      to naming a Navy ship after Harvey Milk
<@trog> What better way to immortalize him than having his namesake 
        covered in seamen...
%
<@perigrin> "your email said there were ants, there were in fact aunts in 
            the lounge. Not only did they eat all the cheese but they 
            asked me a bunch of embarrasing and personal questions, and 
            told me to call my mother more."
%
<+di0x> still reading you idk how to ignore on weechat
<+di0x> no offense.
-!- mode/#freenode [-v di0x] by ChanServ
<+mst> none taken.
%
<@ilmari> having every log entry as a git commit would be interesting, but 
          hardly efficient
<@pndc> I'm sure Lennart is on to implementing it even as we speak.
%
< ningu> use Fish::Chips qw(encod decod);
%
< ningu> did you hear what the Italian said to the German?
...
< ningu> why do you criticize the Speck in your neighbor's eye when you 
         ignore the prosciutto in your own?
%
< Grinnz_> huf: how's hufspell coming along?
< huf> great. it suggests COCK for everything
%
 * perigrin opens infobot and blinks
<@perigrin> perl4! YAY!
%
 * errietta stabs virgin
< errietta> the whole idea of having insurance on the phone is to be able 
            to get it fixed when i erry it
< Kassandry> errietta: Trying to keep an equoid infestation down?
%
< mudkip> Microsoft recently bought LinkedIn.
< mudkip> This is because they looked in the mirror, realized they 
          just didn't quite have that evil touch anymore and decided 
          to buy some outside talent for new blood.
%
< e> to be honest i could imagine some kinds of working with people being 
     quite fun
< e> like setting them on fire in front of their families
%
<@ether> and the cat has been out for 20 minutes and already has caught a 
         small creature of some kind
<@ether> he's whacking it in the driveway and watching it try to run away
<@ether> another typical summer day I guess
%
* perigrin tries to remember where arch hid gzcat
<@hobbs> it's zcat
<@hobbs> also, has no one invented a compression format called nyan yet?
%
< xenu> just realized that lexical subs *almost* gave us private methods
< mst> $self->${\\&lexical_sub}(...)
< mauke> you're fired
%
< xenu> i'm fed up
< xenu> i'm going to create xperl
< xenu> but first, i must create some kind of high-profile cpan module
< xenu> so i can make it not work on normal perls
%
< TimToady> Why are people who engage in cultural warfare always so 
            surprised when culture shoots back?
%
< Altreus> MongoDB seems to be the UDP of data storage
%
< ether> leave no one alive
 * genio slowly backs out of the room then turns and runs
< kentnl> so, anyone want some juice?
 * leont starts playing The rains of Castamere
%
< NamedN> I was most disappointed with the comments on my kindle book on 
          Amazon, they were all positive and sensible :/
%
< triddle> I think my buddy has us all beat, he does work from home, dresses
           in a nice shirt because he needs to do a lot of video conference
< triddle> but no pants, no underwear, and a camera under the desk filming his
           balls live into chatterbate I think it is - sex chat roulette
%
< huf> depends on what you want.
< huf> if you want to delete it, delete it. but dont delete it if you 
       dont want to delete it.
< huf> it's like cake
%
< Su-Shee> I JUST opened IRC and what do I see? huf spreading FUD ;)
< huf> Su-Shee: it's not FUD
< huf> it's just normal slander
%
 * b0at licks %ARGV so nobody else will take it
%
< mst> Currently, this question is equivalent to "I have a left boot, 
       four oranges and a tame orangutang. How do I conquer france?"
<@gwern> mst: bah, napoleon did it twice and he didn't even have a tame 
         orangutang
%
< christel> you are always advocating killing stuff though
< e> yes, but usually just children or cute fluffy animals
< christel> :o
< christel> there's that
%
< Su-Shee> "msmtp" :)
< pink_mist> like mst with an extra m and p
< Grinnz_> mstp: the protocol by which you textually bludgeon others 
                 until they answer your actual question
%
< frew> I get whois privacy free
< frew> all you have to do is lie about your name and address
%
< riceandbeans> I think I'm going to optimize this guy's code by putting 
                some # in front of his lines
%
< huf> oh come on, you'll just bend your knee to facts?
< thrig> genufacting, I believe is the verb
%
<+TheCubeLord> Lausefuchs: why are you "Ex-Staff"?
<+Lausefuchs> because I killed the office goldfish and christel is still 
              mad at me
%
< jkva> Does anyone have a windows laptop that I can borrow an hour 
        before the lightning talks? :)
< mauke> I, too, like to smash a windows system shortly before my talks 
         to get rid of the stress and blow off some steam
%
<@sungo> english, how does it work
<@sungo> "X's father has passed away earlier this week"
<@sungo> The tenses in that sentence are making my eyeballs itch
%
< mauke> well, all stolen cars end up in poland
< thrig> is that where the "pole position" term comes from?
< xenu> yeah, we steal german cars
< xenu> that explains poland's air pollution problems
%
< jbaumgartner> personally my favorite version of PHP is PHP 6
%
<@Popehat> [4b] RT @wutif9: @awstar11 @Popehat It may be s.o.z ryt 2 
           ignor d anthem, 2 burn d flag, 2 shout ppl down etc etc. So I 
           wd lyk 2 hep em out... out uv America
<@Popehat> [4c->4b] .@wutif9 @awstar11 That's easy for you to say.
%
<mst> not like I object to assholes being assholes given I am one half the time
<mst> just, like, only asshole at people who deserve it
<mst> I don't mind him hating me at all ;)
<masak> I just realized... you're like the Dexter Morgan of assholes :P
%
<NamedN> 18
<mst> 18?
<NamedN> I'm using you ;)
<NamedN> ...as a device to remember to take the pizza out
%
< Dave> who would've thought a conversation about rms could become weird
%
< huf> c++ feels like particle science before a theoretical breakthrough :D
< huf> "we've got these 92873 particles catalogued, but we havent got 
       quark theory"
< thrig> or a kitten hopelessly tangled in string theory
%
< buu> Thanks for being strange perl.
%
< mst> I don't think she was actually paranoiaing?
< mst> it's normally louder when that happens
< masochist> hard to tell sometimes
< errietta> look for the SCREAMING or the aaaaa or the +b
%
< e> i don't hate everyone
< e> in fact i don't particularly hate anyone
< e> i just make up for it by hating everything they love
%
< ShimmerFairy> nine: what are you talking about? VARIAB~7.TST is 
                perfectly understandable! :P
< mst> ShimmerFairy: I WILL PEE ON EVERYTHING YOU LOVE
< nine> .oO(IWILLP~1.EEO)
%
< Dorward> I spurn hex. rgba() has my love now.
< mdk> Dorward: heretic
< Dorward> mdk: antediluvian
< mdk> You trendy kids with your fucking alpha channels
%
< LeoNerd> Ooh maybe I can do this better by querying gdk-pixbuf and just 
           asking "Bro, do you SVG?"
 * LeoNerd shall read the Entirely Simple, Comprehensive and Easy To 
    Read(TM) Gdk.pm documentation
%
<@ether> upon my return from running a few errands, I feel something 
         tickly at my throat; reach up to scratch it, and come back with 
         wasp guts on my fingernails.
<@ether> apparently I killed a wasp with my neck at 110 km/h.
%
< mauke> that could use a better error message than "Out of memory!"
< gordonfish> mauke: How about singing "A bicycle built for two" at ever 
              slowing speed?
< gordonfish> "Daaaaaaaaisy daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaisoooo........"
%
< mauke> Gemeinschaftsgeschmacksmusterverordnung
< xenu> german doesn't really need sentences, does it?
%
< sungo> so, by default, ansible puts all its output into cowsay
< sungo> you can turn that off. OR you can change template.
< sungo> so, yes, you can use 'cowsay -f sodomized' for your 
         orchestration output
%
< Dave> getting five guys inside me got me better in the morning though, 
        just had to take it slowly at first
%
< leobut> I had tacos two days ago, I love tacos, but they always give me 
          the worst gas ;(
< leobut> By "worst gas" I mean I could clear an air port. Gas so bad 
          only Hilter could appreciate it.
%
< ilmari> it's handy when talking about perl: @_ = snail, $_[0] = slug zero
< ilmari> LeoNerd++ # snail/slug terminology
< ilmari> me-- # almost typoed that as snail/slut
< mauke> slug shaming
%
 * arcanez has resorted to opening trout.me.uk links in incognito mode
< mst> why? I don't send you any cookies
< Grinnz> browser history :P
< mst> http://trout.me.uk/hopper.jpg
%
< ttmrichter> GOD DAMN IT ALL JUST LEARN TO FUCKING READ YOU CRETIN!
%
<@Zefram> Wikipedia front page has some inaccurate information about Star Trek!
<@Zefram> I was born for this moment
%
<@vmbrasseur> That entire process needs gutting out & fixing.
<@vmbrasseur> I don't like how it turned out.
<@vmbrasseur> But I ran out of fucks to give & have yet to requisition more.
%
< Kassandry> Oh, cool. As of r305323, zfs on FreeBSD has compressed ARC! =)
< perigrin> wouldn't a compressed ARC just be a line?
< perigrin> or possibly a large stack of wood with animal guts in the middle?
< masochist> perigrin: I see you still reside in a punnery
%
< kuudes> how much is an ak47 again? 50$?
< ggreer> the main cost isn't the rifle though. it's the soldier
< kuudes> "Sudan$86 for AK-47, $33 for child" says 
          http://www.havocscope.com/black-market-prices/ak-47/
%
-!- beetlejuice has quit [Quit: /QUOTE QUIT :QUIT /QUIT /QUOTE QUIT :QUIT
    /QUIT /QUOTE QUIT :QUIT /QUIT /QUOTE QUIT :QUIT /QUIT /QUOTE QUIT :QUIT
    /QUIT /QUOTE QUIT :QUIT /QUIT /QUOTE QUIT :QUIT /QUIT /QUOTE QUIT :QUIT
    /QUIT /QUOTE QUIT :QUIT /QUIT /QUOTE QUIT :QUIT /QUIT /QUOTE QUIT :Q]
%
<@hobbs> "Maximum cable distance supported between the root and the last 
         outlet is 300 feet (60 meters)."
<@genehack> ...do the cables not work as well when used with the metric 
            system? 
%
<@ether> MMD is one of those modules where every time I find a bug, and I find
         the source of the error, three more lumps pop up somewhere else
<@ether> it's like a herd of yaks under a huge blanket and you don't know 
         where they're hiding until you push down and hear one bleat
%
< mst> Internet of What The Fuck Are You Doing
< masochist> it. wrong.
%
< Obormot> So this G5 tower I bought on Craigslist...
< Obormot> Unexpectedly came with a music CD in the drive
< Obormot> Of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Young_Ones_(album)
 * Obormot is discovering new music via collecting old Macs, apparently
%
< Athrelon> +
< Athrelon> .+
< Athrelon> .000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
< Betawolf> You're adding nothing to this channel.
%
< xaeridus> Ugh, facebook is trying to trap me.
< xaeridus> I have too many neaderthals that need to get updates on the kids
< triddle> xaeridus: publish your kid updates on chaturbate
< triddle> just tell your family to click reload until they see your boy
%
22:15 < Su-Shee> I agree and actually do 75% of his positions and the second
                 he says gnu linux I want to cry
22:20 < Su-Shee> well rms talk just made me discover OH GOD AND NOW IS SINGING 
                 APL SONGS AND I WANT TO DIE
%
< tm604> one of the nice things about dzil is that by the time you have it
         working the way you wanted in the first place, there's a healthy
         sense of doubt as to whether that time was a sensible investment
%
< KindOne> Why do Java programmers need glasses?
< KindOne> Because they can't C#.
%
-!- spyingisntethica is now known as incog
< incog> a
< incog> good, i can talk
-!- incog has quit [K-Lined]
%
10:56 <@itz> you are idiot
...
10:58 <@itz> and your use of ad hominem reflects badly on you
%
< mst> GIANT ASTEROID 2K16
< perigrin> mst: make glaciers great again
%
< johto> I didn't get the joke
 * ilmari didn't catch it either
< Zr40work> you should both take exception
< ilmari> I think it needs throwing out
%
"Everyone has a test environment. Some of us also have a separate
production environment."
  -- /u/zurohki
     on https://www.reddit.com/r/talesfromtechsupport/comments/54eh1a
%
< Su-Shee> I parse regex with html.
%
< Mort> pol: fu'd nfs server apparently.
< pol> ah
< mst> there's another sort?
< pol> mst: powered off?
%
<errietta> i got a letter from 10 downing street
<errietta> *nods*
<errietta> it says they forwarded my angry rants to the home office where 
           they belong
%
< sungo> in osx captain jack sparrow, they added SIP that protects paths 
         like /System and /usr
< sungo> it protects where your crontab would live, preventing you from 
         having one
%
< Mithaldu> farage is actually better at politics than trump
< triddle> I've heard him over 15 minutes, he manages to sound lucid
< triddle> not like trump where in 15 minutes he's 10 year old kid is 
           good at cyber which is a hard problem maybe can't solveable
%
< Homo_Iracundus> “Nearly Half of Adults in Britain and Europe Hold 
                  Extremist Views.”
< Homo_Iracundus> Some journalists just need to be gently smothered with 
                  a normal distribution to encourage the others
%
< Su-Shee> yes. I imagine you all purring at my feet all day.
< anno> 700 cats to feed
 * thrig claws the carpet
 * genio nonchalantly knocks things of increasing value off of the tables
%
< avgn5> But it is an interesting reminder of how more disciplined and 
         trusting the Internet was in general way back before it went 
         mainstream and the hordes of lusers over ran it like orcs in a 
         Tolkein novel.
%
< jmac> I do have WSDLs! They're... embedded in a... PDF. that's fine, 
        everything is fine
%
< Seveas> I've upgraded git again on camel. gitweb did not break \o/
< dcollins> Software is compatible with other software! Woo!
< hobbs> (sometimes)
< dcollins> :P
%
 * LeoNerd ponders ->hammertime
< thrig> obv halting problem
%
< rnbhat> hello, is that KindOne Trolling LLC? I'd like to hire you
< KindOne> rnbhat: you have come to the right place!
< rnbhat> how does it work?
< KindOne> it doesn't
%
 * LeoNerd wonders, for the briefest moment, why $work monitoring system 
    wasn't sending alerts to complain that the alerting system was down
< LeoNerd> ... oh
< ilmari> quis monitoriet ipsos monitores?
%
< triddle> that IBM thinkpad (the pentium mmx) was a champion, I accidentally
           knocked it off a counter onto a hardwood floor once
< triddle> it bounced and hit the ground again, rebooted, and had ~16 meg 
           less ram, but was otherwise fine
%
<@hobbs> I'm just saying, Blindsight and Echopraxia are really excellent 
         works that are probably responsible for more suicides than your 
         average novel
%
< mr-foobar> Now javascript is in ... look at all the fun we are having 
             marketting phase.
< tm604> s/fun/frameworks/
%
<@ether> motherfucking motherfucker of all motherfucks
<@sungo> I want that on my business card
%
< genio> holy crap! Hell hath frozen over a bit.
< genio> Atlassian fixed something
< LeoNerd> *gasp*
< genio> crap. ice has melted. they broke it in another way.
%
 * GumbyPAN CPAN Upload: Data-Tubes-0.736 by POLETTIX 
    https://v1.metacpan.org/release/POLETTIX/Data-Tubes-0.736
< mst> polettix: you'll be releasing a companion module called Data::Truck ?
 * mauke sends mst an internet
%
< triddle> I can't imagine an aligator being abused me caring honestly
< triddle> tie it up and beat it with a stick for a while before it is 
           slaughtered, no problem, it is a giant stomach with teeth
< triddle> proof nature hates everything
%
< huf> genio: i think there's a bit of florida in all of us
< huf> which, now that i think about it and the shape of florida... uh
< genio> America's Wang!
< thrig> florida wang, florida wang, something something sturm und drang
%
< Grinnz> fedora won't even have perl in the buildroot by default pretty soon
< Grinnz> ****cloud****
%
<NamedN> python decide.py
<NamedN> wut. you're not powershell  :/
%
< semifor> mst has been my crack dealer for years
< perigrin> semifor: he's more the Heisenberg here. He *makes* the crack.
< perigrin> Why do you think stevan wanted him to shave his head for the 
            2010 YAPC::NA?
%
<@mst> if my persian was annoyed she'd deliberately shit on *my* bed
 * ether read that as "my person"
<@ether> so then I thought "sounds about normal for mst; moving on then"
%
< viki> hm..
 * viki goes to look up how to use gdb
< viki> ...
 * viki goes to look up how to *install* gdb :)
%
< Dorward> win 13
< Dorward> Argh ... Unlucky for some :/
< triddle> I've got #systemd-help bound to window 13
< triddle> it is also bound to window 666
%
<triddle> I signed up to be responsible for turkey day, so we are having 
          pork chops
<triddle> i'm pretty sure if they had pork chops for the original thanksgiving
          that they would have been eating those instead of a fucking turkey
%
<@alh> I was told to bring instant to Au to fuck with them
<@alh> I should bring hiking instant coffee
<@alh> That shit is SO awful 
<@alh> Wouldn't wish that on the systemd folks
%
< errietta> and i don't want to end up lying on the tracks waiting for a 
            cancelled train to run me over
< mst> NHS waiting list versus Southern Fail: which one will get to you first?
< triddle> tifu by trusting southern rail to kill me
%
<@sungo> even if you're in the room when management makes a decision, they're
         working off data that's produced by dozens if not hundreds of people
<@hobbs> the more people who formed the report, the better it feels when 
         you ignore it
%
< Madplatypus> I used to hang with the left as the Table of Least Madness, but
               I'm getting increasingly uncomfortable with that. Used to feel
               like the Social Justice/Socialism side was that one Uncle at
               Thanksgiving, but now the goddamn turkeys are berating me.
%
< mst> ... your nick is very strange today, dear
< su-Shee> whut
-!- su-Shee is now known as Su-Shee
< Su-Shee> half dressed.. tsk.
%
< mst> atom needs quite a bit of CPU and RAM to perform
< simcop2387> better than eclipse on my laptop.  4 core 8 thread, 32gb ram.
< mst> well, yeah, but that's like saying "more durable than MyISAM on ext2"
< simcop2387> bah, use UFS like a real unix
%
< kent\n> I have JFS disks spinning somewhere. I also have btrfs, the 
          filesystem that is made of trees of bees.
%
< errietta> apple store thing?#]
 * errietta glares at typing skills
< errietta> The enter button is one to the right, hands
%
< LeoNerd> Meh; I still feel like I'm randomly making things up here.. :/
< LeoNerd> I either want to know what I'm doing, or blind 
           copypaste/import/whatever from someone else so at least I can 
           blame them if it goes wrong
%
< mst> Grinnz: ::Stuff uses Email::Send, ::Stuffer uses Email::Sender
< pink_mist> and of course Email::Suffer uses Email::Shredder
%
< sungo> poll for unixy people: what x11 terminal do you use?
< triddle> https://i.imgur.com/4RfSFb4.jpg
< mst> triddle: that's a highly unusual choice of terminal
< Kassandry> It's python.
%
<^7heo> You should stop expecting that the quality of postgresql is a standard
<johto> sorry :-(
<^7heo> or you're gonna have very nasty surprises when using other software
<johto> my head is too far up the elephant's rear to see clearly
%
< Kassandry> Ah yes, we like diptheria, it's traditional.
< sungo> just like child labor
< Kassandry> Make Children Useful Again
< masochist> you writing PHP, Kassandry?
%
< ningu> we need a single fish and chips standard. unicod
%
 * Yady should figure out how long to put a whole chicken in the oven.
< Kincaid> depends...is it dead yet?
%
<@arcanez> I got rearended by a human on Saturday
<@mst> arcanez: did they at least buy you dinner first?
<@arcanez> I got to rear-end the person in front of me
<@arcanez> so didn't think it was necessary
%
< ningu> I wonder why pointers are still allowed as pets. seems like a 
         security issue
< ningu> the OO programmers all have setters anyway
%
 * notviki coughs
< notviki> So yeah, as you can see it all makes perfect sense!
< notviki> ^_^
< AlexDaniel> what the fucking fuck
%
< ningu> one windmill says to another, what kind of music do you like? 
         the second answers, I'm a big metal fan.
< preaction> are they on a farm? they could be country fans too
%
< x61s> Logos01: I wonder what's on that security admin's mind.
< Logos01> The netsec admin? Probably what was on his mind was "I like tacos"
< Logos01> Although that might be a tad too sophisticate a reasoning process.
< Logos01> Maybe more like "Mmm... tacos" ?
%
< ether> mildy interesting - homicide rates, by the province/state: 
         https://i.imgur.com/jt8QwT9.png
< masochist> big chunk of no data there, sadly
< sungo> masochist: the "chunk of no" is silent
%
< Skizzerz> cloaks are not infallible on freenode
< Skizzerz> a non-oper can decloak someone with enough patience
<@e> it doesn't really even take much patience
<@e> but also if you do it i'll stab you, just saying
%
< trog> I found a spotify CLI... Now when my grep command returns a null 
        value It plays U2 I still haven't found what I"m looking for.
%
< xenu> software developers get the same experience with linkedin as 
        beautiful women get with dating websites
< xenu> job offer unrelated to your current experience is linkedin's 
        equivalent of a dickpic
%
< mst> I'm torn between "oh look, masak discovered haskell" and "oh look, 
       masak discovered J"
 * masak .oO( lambda calculus looks like whatever last gave you a headache )
%
< Zr40> Mist + -1℃ = crazy car drivers
< xiaomiao> Zr40: more like rain = crazy car drivers
< xiaomiao> fog/mist/snow makes them just totally incoherent (how is 
            traffic light? I don't know how to foot!)
%
< sobel> Q: Is your code unit-tested?
< sobel> A: Yes
< sobel> Q: Is it mocked?
< sobel> A: Widely.
%
< ningu> was in the netherlands recently and google maps pronounced everything
         according to english spelling rules. incomprehension resulted
< tm604> we have rules?!
< ningu> best one was Lijsterbes which came out as "lidge sturbs"
%
< mst> I find it somewhat unlikely any threat capable of rowhammering my 
       phone isn't capable of getting me some easier way
< epitron> mst: and if they did get in, the threat that owns the baseband 
           processor would kick them out
%
< mst> eiro: define safe.
< Zefram> that's that warm fuzzy feeling that Devel::Declare doesn't give 
          you.  hth
< alh> Devel::Declare gives me a warm trickling sensation
%
 < triddle> so far textual seems good
 < triddle> 👍
 < triddle> well maybe having that in the control strip is weird
  * masochist screenshots triddle using an emoji
%
< mst> perigrin: your great-great-grandparents were english subjects?
< perigrin> several more greats
< mst> perigrin: which one waas Language and which one was Literature/
< perigrin> mst: he was language, she was my grammer.
%
< Kincaid> there is something just Wrong about the way windows 10 just 
           reinstalls without any faff, and also respects the linux partition
%
< Obormot> The web is suck a clusterfuck. It's incredible. I don't know 
           how I manage to keep being surprised by this, but I do.
%
 * gwern sighs. added "-beer" to his google alert a week ago. next alert, 
    top hit: 'Gwern světlé výčepní pivo 10°, Gwern beer. Pivo Muhammad 
    Ali ... Gwern vyskákaný hnědák, Gwern Beer. ... Gwern světlý ležák 
    12°, Gwern beer.' boolean expression, YOU HAD ONE JOB
%
< anno> printing random bits to the terminal is going to end in tears
< LeoNerd> Usually :)
< LeoNerd> Unless you know what you're doing
 * LeoNerd sometimes knows what he's doing
%
< mst> "All bits are random, but some bits are more random than others"
< mst>   (Rowhammer Farm)
< masochist> 5. 5. 5. 5. 5. 5. 5. 5. 5. 5. 5.
%
< perigrin> they're perl scripts on the internet
< perigrin> sturgeon's law applies double there
< masochist> if you thought it's impossible for 180% of everything to be 
             crap: matt's script archive
%
< Douhet> The polish never went to the euro?
< mst> eastern europe mostly escaped that mistake
< Douhet> s/mistake/adventure/
< feep[nb]> yeah "adventure" in the sense of "WHY IS THERE A BOULDER TRAP"
%
< masochist> open this channel this morning and the first thing I see is 
             "I'm assuming ftm-merkel + mtf-trump"
< masochist> I'm... not reading the rest of those 87 lines of scrollback
%
< JBeshir> I hear that in SF the water is laced with microdosed LSD and 
           xenohormones
< xcin> worse
< xcin> it's laced with google employees
%
 * Grinnz shrugs
 * frew wonders if Grinnz ever types `/me grins` but then pressed ^U
 * hobbs hobbs?
< frew> hobbs: I'll allow it
%
< buu> fuck off with this false equivalence shit
< buu> we barely even have an american left
< huf> you have a polish right wing tho
< huf> you call them democrats
%
<@perigrin> I honestly am not prepared at this time to make even a 
            hypothetical investigation into the reasons ubu's ass may be 
            bleeding.
%
< huf> mst: you welsh always mix up poland and hungary, tisk tisk
%
< Popehat> [2c] RT @marilynmaupin: @Popehat You listen to your voice 
           mails?  Just how old are you?
< Popehat> [2d->2c] .@marilynmaupin The associate I usually have listen 
           to them is in rehab
%
< huf> there's no need to fear
< huf> russia has a strong ally in hungary, which guarantees they will lose.
< huf> no matter what happens, you can depend on it that hungary will 
       pick the losing side
%
 * LeoNerd guesses #perl may not be the ideal place to hire android devs ;)
< thrig> try jobs.perl.org
< LeoNerd> .. for android? :P
< thrig> THAT'S THE JOKE
%
<@ct> systemd is a festering pool of sociopathically bad attention to detail
%
 * jnthn wonders how that works :)
< lizmat> rakudobug material ?
< jnthn> Surely
< jnthn> I didn't even know we had that feature :P
%
< xcin|out> i only date people with names from the off-world castes
< xcin|out> like "10538" and "dirt"
%
< perigrin> "no but I did it anyway" is my most and least favorite answer 
            when someone asks mst if something is possible.
%
< feep> there was a truecrypt volume in there, no idea what the password 
        was. straight up deleted it. I don't know what 19 year old me 
        wanted hidden so badly they put it on a truecrypt volume, but I 
        feel they would agree it's better this way.
%
<kbk_> I find that well over half the time I'm selecting COUNT(1), I'm doing
       it with a GROUP BY clause and returning multiple rows anyway.
<stu> Pretty sad, imo, if you need an sql db just to count to 1.
<stu> 6 I can understand, but 1? That's what the fpu is for.
%
<@cat-xeger> "WARNING: This product contains enough drug (iron) to 
             seriously harm a child"  <-- so does my frying pan
%
< parabolize> Emacs has multiple irc clients installed by default.
< thrig> it's in a race with systemd to see which gets a proper editor first
%
 * ether watches the cat package himself up ready for amazon shipment
<@ether> (it's a physical law that every amazon box on the floor must be 
         occupied by cat. I looked it up.)
%
< Grinnz> "After the Bolshevik Revolution in 1917, the term "White 
          Russia" caused some confusion, as it was also the name of the 
          military force that opposed the red Bolsheviks." ah, namespaces
%
< pol> I was actually looking at Node.JS for something before Python
< pol> and quite honestly I get a migraine trying to read it
< pol> I don't think I've ever seen anything quite so "Sneeze letters at 
       a screen" in a long time
%
<@ilmari> C is a dog. C++ is trying to make an octopus by nailing extra 
          legs onto a dog
%
<@perigrin> well and there was that one time I was in NYC and realized 
            that it was the smell of urine that was causing the 
            flashbacks to London.
%
< errietta> mst: my spreadsheet is amazing.
< mst> you're using excel, and I'm now going to cry.
< errietta> why the fuck not, i'll do this in perl
< sungo> import it into openoffice so that no one can ever open it again
%
< errietta> Selhurst, this is Selhurst. The train now standing on 
            platform 1 is the 2011 southern service to tattenham corner
< Mithaldu> 2011?
< Mithaldu> that train is 6 years late, damn
%
 * Grinnz wonders if mst used 'cunts' in the british or american sense there
< mst> Grinnz: I thought the british/austrialian sense was "very strong 
       insult", and the american sense was "very strong insult and now 
       your entire team has to go to sensitivity training"
%
<@cat-xeger> ... but this isn't a codebase I know screamingly well, or 
             really in many ways other thna screaming
%
<@cat-xeger> There... I may have -FINALLY- found where the festering 
             object I'm looking for is created...
<@cat-xeger> ... now, if I could only remember why I cared ...
%
< ningu> but database is a vague concept
< vague> Can I tm it?
< tm> no, you cannot.
< tm> ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
%
< ilmari> is it just me or is the sql standard committee deathly afraid of
          generic syntax?
< RhodiumToad> ilmari: my standing joke is that they're paid by the syntax
               production, with a special bonus for every new reserved word
%
< mst> Giant Asteroid 2020! Make Glaciers Great Again!
< c0rw1n> won't be worse than the donald
< feep> smod 2020
< feep> This Orbit For Sure!
%
< ragazor> u from finland?
<@Fuchs> no, we just have roughly as many Umlauts as they do
< mst> they got 50/50 custody in the divorce
<@Fuchs> they got Sauna and Booze, we got Chocolate and Cheese, wfm
%
< IOninja> I'm gonna rename the 'fap' method in IO::Path...
< mst> ...
< mst> yes. good plan.
< IOninja> At least it's a private fap....
%
< ChoHag> True answers are always more useful.
< ChoHag> I may even be in the fortunate position of having an employer 
          who understands that.
< ChoHag> Certainly they haven't fired me yet.
%
< anno> als check if echo is followed by "; other command"
< LeoNerd> echo `rm -rf`
< LeoNerd> etc etc
< tm604> there might not be much /etc after commands like that
%
< Su-Shee> good evening everyone
< huf> but at what cost
< ilmari> and then the murders began
%
< abudhabi> Does cocaine syrup actually cure alcoholism?
< c0rw1n> only one way to find out
< abudhabi> Yes, but where do I find an alcoholic hobo at this time of night?
< c0rw1n> outside and drunk ?
%
-!- dglambert [~devin-@unaffiliated/devin-] has joined #angularjs
< dglambert> yo
< heartburn> P R A I S E S A T A N
< heartburn> S A T A N S A Y S B R U S H Y O U R T E E T H
%
< Finn> http://www.trout.me.uk/hopper.jpg
< Mithaldu> so many questions
< Finn> I didn't even question it, it just seemed something not 
        surprising that mst had it at the ready
%
< ttkp> <3 perlbot
< perlbot> ttkp: bullshit, I'm way more than 3
%
< mst> today, my friend is dead, and I'm going to have to arrange to get 
       his namespace ownerships and projects adopted
< namespace> That is the worst accidental ping I've received yet.
             Congrats.
%
<@sungo> ignoring that you have to go to mexico, aeromexico seems to do 
         economy class right conn.type_map_for_results = 
         PG::BasicTypeMapForResults.new conn
<@sungo> unlike my paste buffer
%
 * namespace is asking a friend with huge stores if we can work something out.
< mst> I, I, "Friends With Terabits"
< namespace> He's got a yuge server rack.
< namespace> With a massive NAS.
%
 * Rosemary remembers ibuprofen exists
< Rosemary> ... wrong window
< Kincaid> ooh, good call, I have a sore ankle
< Rosemary> accidental victory!
%
 * lucidian tries to remember how to say things in Latin
 * lucidian can only remember bits of Finnish instead
%
< aindilis> anyone know the rough equilvanet of shell_quote in Java?
< mst> probably abandonHopeAllYeWhoEnterHereFactory
< Su-Shee> *giggle*
< Su-Shee> I'm betting on StdoutLineFactoryShellStringQuoted.
%
 * gwern tries to attach a .patch to a github issue. 'We don't support 
    that file type.' -_-
%
<NamedN> is it just me or are antiviruses a lot like condoms with holes 
         in? They make you feel protected, then you realise you have a 
         world of shit to go through to get rid of the results...
%
< sungo> in the early days of wrist wearables, we used to joke that 
         monogamous men's data would show when their partner was away.
< sungo> "man, when I was out of town, your fitbit claims you did 800k 
         steps a day"
%
< freeside> sysadmins don't get no respect.
< ChoHag> We don't need it.
< ChoHag> We have root.
%
< sevvierose> Eh. No matter how well I word myself on Twitter, or on
              YouTube... I'm still just sober and publicly masturbating. x.x
%
<@schmooster> "you can't milk an almond, can you, it's not a mammal"
<@arc> "almond spooge" is only a single-bit error away from "almond sponge"
%
< kd> if pl/sql is pronounced "piggle squggle" then PL/pgsql is 
      pronounced "piggle higgle squiggle"
%
< restol> ----:-;\,..
< drethelin> I don't know what emoji that is
< jasonium> I think that's a complete scala program.
%
< mst> oh for gods' sake sysdig.org redirects to github so 
       https://sysdig.org/ which is the URL in google invalid certs me
< thrig> but, cloud
%
<@ether> rjbs: yes Wii U
<@ether> still meh on the switch
<@cat-xeger> try the rod instead?
<@rjbs> not until they introduce one with a flared end
%
<@e> mst lives to get 'em with the small penis
%
< thrig> teach a fish to eat men and you'll have less questions from said men
%
< ilmari> sawyer: proposed perlrun.pod patch pushed.
< ilmari> above alliteration altogether accidental
%
< tomboh> delayed reaction: I'm happy to pop by and grab ilmari's camel :)
<@mst> I've never heard it called *that* before
< tomboh> I'm not sure exactly what it means, but hey, for £30..
%
< ningu> mistakes were made
< mst> misteaks were well done
< ningu> stake your claim, then claim your steak
< Grinnz> bacon
%
< nshepperd> [ ] Yes [ ] No [x] Overthinking
%
<@mst> LAUNCH THE ROFLCOPTER
<@perigrin> IT WAS SHOT DOWN BY SOME PHP CODE
<@mst> I DISTRACT THE PHP PROGRAMMERS WITH GLAMOUR SHOTS OF ALH
<@perigrin> YOU ROLL A 20, NOT ONLY DO YOU SUCCEED BUT YOU ALSO SUMMON PEDOBEAR
%
< mudkip> (Yes that's right, the neopets boards reminded me of 4chan.)
< mudkip> (This is not a coincidence, the neopets boards were 
          basically mayhem.)
< mudkip> (We used to raid small sites for the lulz.)
%
< davidfetter_ge> "beware the ides of march!"
 * davidfetter_ge considers that March is a terrible month to release an 
    integrated development environment :P
%
< e> ANGER IS THE ONLY EMOTION THAT TRULY ENGAGES
 * e slashes wrists
%
<@sungo> yes. I wanted this code to suddenly descend into string encoding 
         madness
<@sungo> THIS IS WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED
%
< TBSliver> heres your string, peg, frets, fingerboard, top-shell, 
            pick-guard, bottom-shell, side-shell, pickups, hollow-space, 
            left-pad, wiring-framework, bootstrap, jquery..
< TBSliver> UNMET DEPENDENCY: string requires guitar, guitar not found
%
< Obormot> namespace: But why do you have a scrolling background at all
< namespace> Because I was inspired by Blinx The Timesweeper and Pokemon.
 * Obormot pretends he didn't ask that question and thus never read the answer
< namespace> Intelligent decision.
%
< TBSliver> ... i just accidentally made a web based telnet client ...
%
 * laowai rubs eyes to see dramas
<@dax> laowai: i've got some drama for you right here
-!- mode/#freenode [+b *!*@117.136.22.159] by dax
-!- laowai was kicked from #freenode by dax [stop ban-evading you twit]
%
*** Side effects may include: Inter-cranial bleed, nose bleeds, esophageal
prolapse, acid reflux, indigestion, and cancer of the teeth.  In some more
serious cases side effects may be life threatening.  Consult your doctor
if you experience an election lasting more than 4 hours. ***
%
< koisoke> hug: javascript+dom is what i would expect of a 
           post-apocalyptic display postscript designed by people working 
           from badly deteriorated source printouts
%
 * mst humps perigrin's leg
 * perigrin checks to make sure purl is running
%
< ningu> I heard JSMILL published List::Util::itarian
< ilmari> List::Util::ikilt
< thrig> ilmari: I did not need to see that source
%
<@dax> don't be mean tx, that's mst's job
%
<@sungo> "In those days, they did not have socks and semen covered the land"
%
< xq> perlbot sweval: sub _ {1} +_+ -_- ~_^ (_)
< perlbot> xq: 1
%
< nshepperd> '<sudonhim_> ...professional random number generators' you 
             mean sociologists?
%
 * leobut wonders what this world is coming to when a person can't even go
    camping without some random asshat trying to blow up a chemical toilet...
%
<Hazelesque> In other news, today was the first day of the 4 day RHCE course
<Hazelesque> Some new stuff, but much of it seems a bit noddy tbh, heh
<Hazelesque> (Like, wow, an interactive lab version of "man 8 firewallctl",
             that was totally worth eleventy million pounds...)
%
< moth> u____: I don't think I've seen you with this many underscores before.
< u____> this isnt even my final form
%
< Grinnz> ooh. PSGI as a make replacement
%
< skington> Except not ->subtract because that method doesn’t exist. Sorry.
< skington> You can say ->add(months => -2) instead, though.
< skington> Which is correct *and* looks wrong, so you know you’re in the 
            world of dates and times!
%
< ChoHag> I'm not sure if I should have made this thing, but I did.
%
< tm604> I never understood how we could have the Greenwich line slicing
         London in two, yet have the same timezone on both sides. the magicks
         required to sustain that temporal border must be strong indeed
%
< dax> on the other hand the code quality for IOT things seems to be 
       somewhere between "what is code quality" and "hilary clinton's dog 
       programmed this"
%
 * dax goes to type "but her emails" into address bar
 * dax gets autocomplete to buttplug.io
< dax> fucking freenode
%
< triddle-work> ok google order me a whopper burger
< Mithaldu> triddle-work: that's amazon
< masochist> I'd try it with siri but it'd probably order me adult 
             diapers or something
%
<@haarg> macOS, not MacOS
<@haarg> MacOS is Mac OS Classic
<@haarg> because we wouldn't want to be confusing
%
<errietta> Colleague: Have you seen the code in $X?
<errietta> Me: no..
<errietta> *looks*
<errietta> Me: oh god burn it
%
< pol> And... task planning to support a delivery on February first 
       shows... we might be ready to do it on March 2nd.
< pol> Oh dear.
%
<@grumble> if it looks like a cat, walks like a cat, and meows like a 
           cat, then it probably looks completely adorable but won't mind 
           killing you for food
%
< grumble> if I'm really lucky there will have been a world war and 
           society has broken down before I have a chance to get a job in 
           the software industry
%
< mquin> - efnet.port80.se Message of the Day -
< mquin> -
< mquin> -
< mquin> - THE INTERNET IS FULL. FUCK OFF.
%
< xmj> i already commented elsewhere that saudi arabia, egypt, the US
       opening a centre on countering radical islam is hysterically hilarious
< xmj> one of those countries sponsors literally the worst terrorist groups on
       the planet. the other two are in the middle east and northern africa
%
<@perigrin> trog has a list of 7 words you can't say during standup
<@perigrin> "just" is one of them
<@mst> also most uses of "should"
<@vmbrasseur> People should just stop using those words.
%
<Zr40> "we can't use a RESTful design because it would make the URLs too long"
<Zr40> same person: "I just learned that GET accepts a request body"
<sobel> if they like treating HTTP like that, they'll love FTP
<sobel> aka Fuck This Protocol
%
< mst> bacon+cucumber butties <3
< phaylon> I sure hope that's a food item
< mst> for shoving up my arse, I'd probably go for just the cucumber
 * mdk resolves never to eat salad at mst's house
%
< L1nd> dax: I play by my own rules and i make your network 
        demonstratable beter
< elky> lolwhat
<@dax> god you're such an idiot
%
<@ether> new game show: "schmorp, or parody?"
< perigrin> would that be the AnyEvent to Poe's law?
%
< bigpresh> Please, please, please tell me that someone, at some point, 
            has replied to one of his tickets with "Shut up, Wesley."
%
< Zoffix> ZofBot: enable extra complaining mode
<+ZofBot> Zoffix, This is the default behavior
%
< AlexDaniel> oh… I just realized…
< AlexDaniel> that you can .reverse string ranges too
 * AlexDaniel 
    nnnnNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooo
%
<NamedN> facebook is advertising the Conservative party to me
 * NamedN marks it as "this post offends me"
%
< Flexor> "When my little daughter Snowdrop asks who her daddy is, I 
          don't want to give her a photo of a turkey baster."
%
< XORXERY> Just had some great sushi.
< XORXERY> A man must have principles, one of mine is: no wasabi left behind.
%
< mae> Although, it was pretty big before and I can see that it's not 
       going to get any smaller. 
%
< mohawk> and yes, Net-SSLfml doesn't work "in space"
<@preaction> i'm not seeing the Net-SSLlol report in the tail log
<@mst> Net::SSLoleay
< mohawk> because you're not worth it
%
<errietta> I think I need to follow different subreddits.. I go there for 
           the cute animals and shitposts and end up being educated
%
< BenGoldberg> GumbyBRAIN, I have an alcohol problem.  I don't drink 
               enough of it.
<GumbyBRAIN> Mst: I haven't gotten enough sleep.
< pink_mist> mention alcohol and GumbyBRAIN mentions mst ... makes sense :P
%
< sawyer> "I have additional information about this ticket." "Sorry, sir. 
          This is the North Atlantic Furry mailing list."
< Grinnz> and this is why i hate using email for things
< sawyer> Furries?
%
<@mst> BEHOLD: http://dox.ipxe.org/stdarg_8h_source.html#l00019
<@cat-xeger> I'm not funccional enough for that otdy.
<@mst> maybe otmorrw
<@cat-xeger> mabe.
%
< ggreer> it's more like a human rhizome. eg: imagine the butts of 4chan 
          & twitter hooked up to reddit's mouth
< c0rw1n> aaa so *that* is why they call it shitposting
%
< mst> Dear LinkedIn, would you like some salad?
< errietta> I'm looking for a salad with at least 2 tomatoes of experience
< errietta> looking at your profile in which you're clearly not a salad i 
            think you'd make a great match
%
< El_Che> mst: you're concentrated evil
%
<NamedN> so, otoh, i got food. otoh, i had to explain to an impatient 
         delivery driver that i was dyslexic and if he wanted a fast 
         solution to food i didnt order not being taken he could check 
         the list him f'inself. which he did. then apologised to me. \o/
%
 * perigrin starts with the source because the docs are far too often old
    or lies
<@perigrin> (or old lies)
%
< LeoNerd> Don't Pander To Idiots
< ChoHag> I know.
< thrig> Panther To Idiots is what I always say
< LeoNerd> Don't Panda the idiots either ;)
%
<@chargrill> rjbs: you around?
<@rjbs> I am.
<@alh> That happens daily :|
%
<@yanick> I have to knife-fight alh for Mapley dominance? 
 * alh dies with multiple stab wounds to the sound of yanick apologizing 
          profusely
<@yanick> alh: it seems that all our encounters are fated to end that way
%
<@sungo> arcanez: congratulations. you have completed the most simple 
         docker use case possible. try anything more complex than that 
         and it will eat your eyes
%
< triddle-work> but it is 10 in the morning, can weekends start that early?
< triddle-work> maybe I should start drinking :-/
< Kassandry> Yes. Yes, you should.
< Kassandry> What kind of a question is that?
%
 * grumble2 grumbles
-!- grumble2 [~grumble@freenode/staff/grumble] has quit [Client Quit]
< emerson> lol
< Fuchs> grumble = new Grumble() 
%
<@Mort> My first was 1st edition, I vaguely remember playing a monk.
<@Mort> THAC0 wasn't THAT hard.
<@Mort> It was pretty stupid, though...
< Edmund> it built character
%
<+jarick> Bock: Sarcasm may have flown over your head
<+Bock> That's certainly possible. I am currently experiencing 
        crisis-level blood serum caffein concentrations.
<+Bock> (i.e., too much blood in my coffee stream)
%
< user51> is oolong your cat?
<@gwern> yes
< user51> do you name all your cats after tea?
< quanticle> He only has the one, so yes.
%
< dax> i for one am shocked that a bot that gets joined to random 
       channels because its owner can't be bothered with permissions 
       would get k-lined because its owner can't be bothered with 
       anti-abuse flood protection
%
 * Kincaid makes puppy dog eyes at Kian
< Kincaid> (simple recipe, take several small dogs, reove eyes, blend 
           with cream and amaretto)
%
< heartburn>   \ | | | | | | | | | | | /
< heartburn> ~ F U C K B O O T S T R A P ~
< heartburn>   / | | | | | | | | | | | \
%
< robsco> next question is, to always allow null for foreign keys, or 
          only as the app requires?  (i like to standardise)
< ilmari> standardise on doing the right thing in each case
< mauke> at a previous job, LEFT OUTER JOIN was the company standard for joins
%
<@arcanez> has Apple started their own mortgage company so people can 
           afford all this new hardware?
%
 * ilmari attempts lunch for the fourth time
< ilmari> nobody distract me!
%
<@trog> If I were trying to hide a body I'd hide it in the middle of the
        documentation for a Perl Module, no one would find it there.
%
< Altreus> I always forget that
< Altreus> I should tattoo it on my ...
< Altreus> I was going to say forehead but I hate looking in the mirror
< Altreus> I'm thinking on my palm so I see it when I facepalm
%
 * WritingAngel also resists the urge to try and figure out the connection
    between Simon Callow, Nancy Reagan, a nickel, and a mini twister.
< Edmund> "things which have all been inside Ronald Reagan"
 * Kincaid reaches for the bad whisky
%
< Rosemary> fun fact of the day: apparently there's a national shortage 
            of dayglo orange paper
< Rosemary> turns out an election on six weeks notice means the Lib Dems 
            buy approx the entire country's stock
%
< simbabque> is the interrobang what they did to you when stasi took you 
             to the basement to the room with the chair and the lamp?
%
<errietta> bg
<quicksilver> [1]+ less mylittlepony.txt &
%
< Popehat> what if covfefe is a cloud
< Popehat> a cloud, only instead of tiny water droplets its made out 
           of hookers and when they pee on you it rains
%
< Obormot> ... what the heck is a .isz file
< Tene> gzipped icelandic text
%
    # Make sure we are in a sane environment.
    $ENV{MOD_PERL} or die 'not running under mod_perl!';
%
<@hobbs> golf: whoever gets it in in the fewest strokes, wins.
%
 * ilmari quites like App::ModuleBuildTiny for the maximum underkill
< ilmari> or should that be mininum underkill?
< ilmari> "quites like"? wat‽
< kentnl> You clearly haven't had your covfefe today.
%
< Logos01> Oh my god I just saw the absolutely most persuasive argument 
           against the Flat Earth position *ever*:
< Logos01> If the Earth were actually flat, cats would have knocked 
           everything off of it by now.
%
< Altreus> computers are beyond my ken
< ilmari> but are they beyond your barbie?
%
< mst> I have kebab, joint and bourbon
< mst> FORTIFICATION REQUIRED BEFORE ROUND TWO WITH THIS CODE
< quicksilver> instructions unclear. Lit kebab and poured bourbon into
               keyboard.
%
<@vmbrasseur> About 10 years ago one of my devs used to bring his dog into
              meeting when he had something bad to report, just so he could
              distract me.
<@perigrin> "We're going to ship late but puppy!"
%
< Edmund> Run 20A through each of them at the wrong polarity and they'll 
          all be the same
< pol> Smoke Emitting Diodes and Light Emitting Resistors - not 
       components you want
%
<@perigrin> Florida is kinda the Australia of the US. Four kinds of 
            venemous snakes, two kinds of deadly spider, sharks, gators, 
            crocodiles ... Floridians ... 
%
< perigrin> "Tonight we will be making French Onion Soup. This is Pierre 
            [cut to a mime bound and gagged, strugging] he will be the 
            French for our soup."
%
< huf> i dont think we should play tongue twisters, lest we summon the poles
< thrig> polish notation is easy to reverse though
%
< Urchin[emacs]> freenode is like an university town of IRC
< mst> if you want a hive of scum and villainy, your DNS resolver knows 
       where efnet is
< ivan> and if you want to know what it's like to have an IQ of 60 try dalnet
%
< two2theheadPC0> lollllllllllllllllllll
< two2theheadPC0> My mistake :p
< two2theheadPC0> Pardon me. Stupid keyboard
< two2theheadPC0> lol*
%
< niggler> do you think the string "123.40%%" corresponds to 1.234 or .01234
< mst> I think it has two % signs and is probably an error
< mst> and was *supposed* to be 1.234 except then cthulhu
< niggler> ah forgot to require cthulhu.js
%
< Grinnz> why do people keep making base modules for RESTful APIs when 
          they usually have nothing in common?
< Grinnz> Web::API, API::Client, REST::Client, ...
< thrig> Web::API::Client::REST::Simple::ButMaintained::Hitler
%
< masochist> "This interface uses #c0ffee, #teases and #facade, the 
             latter because #faeces rendered a tad too pale."
%
< huf> yes, criminals did not exist before http
< huf> the word "nefarious" was not yet around
< ilmari> and for a long time the only nefarious things around were porpoises
< ilmari> which, as we know, don't use the internet
%
<@perigrin> trog: looks like you need a premium t-shirt in Lemon Yellow 
            for a rush eligible 
<@mst> but I don't even like limoncello
<@perigrin> mst: perhaps a lime viola then?
%
< two2thehead> What's the procedure for destroying an old prescription note?
< cask> two2thehead: Burn it then eat the ashes.
<@saturn2> eat the ashes, take a dump into a bucket of wet cement, bury 
           30 meters underground
%
< simbabque> how do you pronounce Eyapp?
< skington> Gif.
< simbabque> right :D
%
< triddle-work> ok that was pretty easy, I'm glad my problem is one 
                lennart already thought of
< masochist> fairly certain he thinks of making Unix admins miserable 
             both when writing software and when masturbating
%
<@trog> Seriously debating name a server Theory.
<@trog> Just to argue with people about whether or not it works in theory.
<@sungo> theory as a dev server. practice as the production server
%
<kbk> We have Aldi over here (it corresponds to Aldi Süd) and 
      Trader Joe's as well (Aldi Nord)
<stu> Here we have Aldo. They sell shoes.
<stu> You have to fill them with coleslaw yourself.
%
< lopid> correct
< thrig> horse
< LeoNerd> battery
< huf> what
%
< quicksilver> at times I questioned whether it was worth spending 9 
               years building a twisted schema and convulted code base 
               purely to drive errietta mad
< quicksilver> but I have to say, the plan is working well.
%
< huf> premature generalization sounds like a good way to lose a war
%
< Zuu> What is this "lesswrong" thing?
< dv-> an evil cult
< Tene> Buy me a new bottle of gin and I'll sponsor you in the death cult.
< dv-> death cult is in #systemd
%
<@perigrin> enoyanick
<@mst> we totally have a YA nick in here
<@mst> it's "alh"
<@alh> "adult" is aiming a bit high, perhaps?
%
 * GumbyPAN CPAN Upload: Subclass-Of-0.007 by TOBYINK 
    https://metacpan.org/release/TOBYINK/Subclass-Of-0.007
< thrig> Subclass of 007? When did Bond get minions?
%
<+Bahhumbug> Hi.  Could you all please pick someone else to highlight 
             spam?  Thanks :)
< MetaNova> Bahhumbug wants us to highlight-spam someone else, guys
<+nocaberi> As Bahhumbug wishes, so Bahhumbug shall be granted.
%
< duckgoose> when I try to use /kline I get "Permission Denied"
< duckgoose> please fix this
<@kline> if you want kline i can give you kline
<@kline> you might not like it though :^)
%
< kd> well apparently there are child size body bags in the same product 
      line that we sell if you can find the right cost centre
< sungo> are those reusable? Because I'm not seeing the point otherwise
%
<errietta> The 1915 Southern service to Tattenham Corner is being delayed
<errietta> This is due to the train operator being a dumpster fire
<errietta> Southern apologise for the delay this will cause to your journey
%
< dha> I'll be stressing about Bad Movie Night until it's over and I 
       haven't been arrested.
<@gizmomathboy> we'll get bail money, don't worry
<@alh> And then spend it on beer
%
<@mst> the facepalm that does not involve picard is not the true facepalm
< hobbs> \N{FACEPALM}\N{EMOJI MODIFIER STARFLEET 
         UNIFORM}\N{VARIANT-RED}\N{EMOJI MODIFIER BALD}
%
< macdice> i think i'm getting better at understanding postgres patches. the
           basic idea is: anything non trivial will interact with every other
           feature ever developed, so you just have to know them all inside
           out so you can figure out how each new patch is going to !@#$ us
%
< thrig> the kleptomania of English is well known
%
< quicksilver> INBOX ZERO!
 * quicksilver runs in circles whooping
 * quicksilver attracts raised eyebrows from other customers in train carriage
%
< kentnl> vendor tooling is by necessity oriented around distrusting 
          upstream did what they said they did properly. 
%
< Logos01> I feel like I just have to keep repeating variations on "I'm 
           sorry but it is not possible for even *ME* to draw seven red 
           lines, four in green ink, three transparent, with one in the 
           form of a kitten."
%
< Popehat> Brain: Well if we're going to be on camera buy something 
           tidy for lunch. That's a white shirt.
< Popehat> Me: [buys soup]
< Popehat> Brain: why am I even here
%
< mst> baphomet is what your cart does to a baafmet
< mst> cat
< mst> fucking fingers
< mauke> please use your typing fingers for IRC
%
< Grinnz> do you guys not have a th sound?
< huf_> we do, but we keep it in the safe and only take it out for 
        christenings and funerals
%
< huf_> subliminal messages infecting our children
< mauke> like the wonder woman / bondage thing?
< Grinnz> if they know what wank means already, i have bad news for you
< Grinnz> they're probably british
%
< choroba> "da vot tak" is hard to translate
< choroba> it means something like "well, just because", but smells of vodka
%
< mst> it would be nice to have a batteries included dist as well
< xenu> windows users have strawberry perl which is just that
< tm604> and linux users have red hat, which is much like strapping a car 
         battery to parts of your anatomy
%
< mst> given the number of people we share with #haskell, I guess it's 
       appropriate we just turned into #curry
< thrig> dessert monads
< tm604> let's ask the lisp team over for some lambdhal
%
< Grinnz> OH: 16:02:00 <Tansien> So the cat pushed my 20+ Kg UPS off the 
          shelf, it broke the desk below it
< Grinnz> 16:02:05 <Tansien> And also set a monitor on fire.
< ttkp> level 20 cat
%
<+nocaberi> That's not my connexion. It's my VPN.
< grumble> but isnt a vpn a kind of connection too? 
<+Unit193> grumble: No, that is entirely lack of connection!
<+Unit193> Note: I'm full of it.
%
< quanticle> Lol. "The psychology of addition". Yes, you can add 2 and 2 
             and get 4... but what effect does that have on the twos? 
             What long term impact does it have on the 4 to know that it 
             was result of 2 and 2, rather than 3 and 1?
%
< tm604> Alien::libtermkey 0.17 does not appear to provide 
         TERMKEY_TYPE_DCS, for example
<@LeoNerd> Oh oops, did I forget to bump the alien?
<@LeoNerd> .oO( That's almost tshirt-quote material )
%
< mst> < markrofail> xocolatl: so you recommend manual insertion ?
< mst> xocolatl: pass the KY
< xocolatl> hehe
< xocolatl> it's a digital world, after all
%
< mst> I don't cheat, the people I'm sleeping with have all met and 
       mostly tend to conspire against me
< xenu> *everyone* conspire against me
< mauke> xenu: I'm not going to sleep with you
%
<@dha> GOOD CHRIST, HOW LONG HAVE I HAD OWNERSHIP OF THIS STUPID MODULE??
%
< genehack> don't use your tee shirt powers for evil 
<@mst> Sufficiently Hilarious Evil is Indistinguishable from Humour
< genehack> now trying to decide if sufficiently hilarious evil would be 
            more of an aqueous humour or a vitreous humour 
%
< perigrin> booger it, I'm out of puns
< ilmari> that's a bit on the nose
< genehack> it's the bee's sneeze 
< Gronk> Need to build more puns... time to put the ol' factory to work
%
< huf> now i kinda wanna see the movie JIRAssic park
< LeoNerd> HAH
< LeoNerd> A true horror movie
< CQ> "Keeping all the dangerous bugs in one place is not safe!"
%
< mst> finding it in the wardrobe was not the problem
< mst> remembering there were things in the wardrobe was the problem
< NamedN> a sign above the radiator "you own a wardrobe"
< Kassandry> "This is not just a portal to Narnia"
%
<@BinGOs> and I have managed to install Variable::Magic into /
< hobbs> extra magic
<@BinGOs> sure I can have root, I is an expert
%
< Grinnz> it depends on what the definition of "is" is
< ningu> Grinnz: "Two experts, to explicate Meaning, / Wrote a book 
         called The Meaning of Meaning. / But the world was perplexed! / 
         So three experts wrote next / The Meaning of Meaning of Meaning."
%
<@ether> rules of summer #1: whenever I clap a mosquito out of the air, a wing
         or leg always falls off. rules of summer #2: if I have a cup of
         coffee or plate of food nearby, said wing/leg always lands in it.
<@ether> FML
%
 * Mithaldu scrolls past some tweets and doesn't really notice content until
    he notices at the top of the screen is mst tweeting "clearly the solution
    is to have your nipples amputated before you give your next demo"
< Mithaldu> business as usual
%
< xenu> in xperl push() will be replaced with unpop()
< Grinnz> or replace unshift() with ctrl()
< mauke> my $foo = shift @a; my ($x, $y, $z) = capslock @a;
< mauke> sub capslock :prototype(\@) { splice @{$_[0]} }
%
<+Bock> mst, lagbox, anybody else awake: nickspam trouble in #systemd
<+Unit193> Sounds like a channel issue?
<+bazhang> systemd is everyone's problem
%
(Players are trying to figure out how to get information from a wereshark)
Fighter: What if we waterboard him?
Bard: You can’t waterboard a wereshark.
Fighter: You’re right, we need to airboard him.
%
<@perigrin> So I was googling PiLFS and google happily presented me the 
            "Princesses I'd like to Fuck" page ... to which Jamie said 
            "is this you working?"
%
< xenu> and make sure it works on windows!
< Grinnz> fuck that
< Grinnz> it might work by accident on windows but i can't be held responsible
%
< Fuchs> \o/ 
< Fuchs> grilled furry
%
< mst> (you may infer from this that I suck at unicode; your inference 
       would be correct)
< adiabatic> Not sucking at unicode is hard. You might as well admit that 
             you're crap at flying fighter jets.
%
< Betawolf> "HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual 
            infanticide." <- great, but in secret.
%
< Grinnz> https://www.reddit.com/r/rubberducks/ I'm disappointed this 
          isn't a subreddit where people go to post problems but you are 
          only allowed to comment on your own posts
%
<@sungo> so.
<@sungo> much.
<@sungo> paperwork.
%
< xocolatl> I pronounce it similar to "orifice"
%
< Rosemary> I'm on a train. it was due in 18.51
< Rosemary> it's delayed
< Rosemary> WHAT CAN POSSIBLY
%
< pol> I have 4 days stuck in Germany to brief somebody.
< pol> Which was done by midday.
< pol> He arrived at 11:20
< pol> From Slough.
%
< kline> why did that kline come over as disconnected by services
< kline> * ProblemChild has quit (Disconnected by services)
< mniip> that's how that works
< mniip> have you never klined kiwiirc or something
%
<errietta> "must be privileged to use -u"
<errietta> I mean
<errietta> i'm white
%
And yes, a large part of this may be that I no longer feel like I can
trust "init" to do the sane thing. You all presumably know why.
  - Linus Torvalds, in https://lkml.org/lkml/2017/7/6/577
%
<NamedN> pun of the day: Why do Swedish warships have bar codes on the sides?
<NamedN> So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian. 
%
<@sungo> there's some platonic ideal of batshit crazy systems management 
         stuff that systemd and osx are both a shadow of
%
< emerson> i saw fursuit and thought it was a type of lawsuit at first
%
< mst> he'd decided I was satan and stopped speaking to me by that point
< Altreus> this many people can't be wrong
< huf> ah, so that's what the s stands for
< huf> good to know
%
< kd> gnaaaah
 * kd finds an unless elsif block
%
< mst> Mithaldu comes back just after George Romero dies ... claims he 
       wasn't dead, just had painful hands
 * mst SUSPICIONS
< Mithaldu> look blood isn't THAT hard to clean off
%
< christel> i flew to tijuana once to go to a donkey show
< christel> only i thought it would be some sort of animals got talent thing
< christel> ... it was not
%
<scrottie> I don't appreciate being in the position where I'm the one who has
           to murder you to keep this code from escaping into the world.
<scrottie> do you know how much plane tickets even cost?  and I haven't even
           thought of an alibi.
%
< Dorward> I'd managed to leave the pool noodles at home
< Dorward> And there wasn't room in the car for Dave the Squid
%
<errietta> sometimes when you dig you find gold
<errietta> soemmetimes you find.. well, html stored in the database
%
<+Bock> mst, sounds like you might have a really bright boy on your 
        hands. It's been my personal experience that management tends not 
        to know its ass from its elbow.
<+spb> brb, wiping my elbow
%
 * o m g
 * e ^ i * pi
 * m c^2
 * rud0lf the red-nosed reindeer
%
<@mako132> "Introduction to the Challenges and Opportunities of Big Data, 
           the Internet of Things, and Cybersecurity" # students must be 
           able to wave both hands vigorously
%
< rysiek|pl> it...
< rysiek|pl> ...worked.
< rysiek|pl> I feel empty inside
%
< anno> cmp sorts by code point
< Botje> does the poop emoji come before or after the eggplant?
< mst> Botje: generally it's best to poop before anal
< huf> this reminds me of the time i mistook "unaltered" for "anal turd"
%
 * TBSliver pushes Finn off a perl cliff
 * TBSliver may not have checked the length of rope he tied to Finn's legs.
    Nor if he tied off the other end. oh well
< errietta> ah the shadowcat training process, i remember it well :D
%
< Su-Shee> so next week you ask where's X and then he did flubbelwupp instead.
< Su-Shee> nobody needs flubbelwupp, of course and certainly not with 
           garmelbargh. but garmelbagh does what he thinks he needs so 
           it's piled on top of everything
%
< triddle-work> that's not the way one would expect systemd to break netflix
%
<errietta> i should try couch to 5k again,
<errietta> i have pants now
%
< nebulous> Is there a reason why the session cookie _should_ be set on
            each response?
< hobbs> so that the expiration is refreshed after each request
< nebulous> My face thanks you for the palm installation, hobbs.
%
< Obormot> brb
< Obormot> (didn't notice finger was bleeding, got blood over half my 
           keyboard. annoying)
%
< triddle> I'm not really comfortable with all the AI going on these days
< triddle> it's powerful spooooooky shit
< Kassandry> Don't worry, it'll all be running systemd and won't boot 
             right most of the time.
%
< kian> At some point you're going to fuck it.
< kian> fuck up even.
< kian> Please don't fuck your software.
< Edmund> Then why did 5 1/4" disks have holes in the middle?
%
<@gwern> imagine there's no ASLR above you / below you only stack / 
         imagine the OS computing something new / it's easy with an 
         attack / you may say I'm a hacker / but I'm not the only one
%
< quicksilver> the tab consuming most of the CPU is : "How to identify 
               which Chrome tabs are wasting CPU"
%
< ningu> I met a girl once who said she was from Brest. I said, you mean
         Brest-Litovsk? she said, "no, the other one. there are two Brests"
%
< xenu> donald tusk and kaczynski (duckman) are the two most famous 
        polish politicans
< xenu> actually three but one of kaczynskis was murdered by putin
< xenu> thank god we had a backup
%
< Obormot> Have you considered never interacting with another human again
< Obormot> Sounds like it might be an improvement :p
%
< quanticle> gwern: Thank you for retweeting @AHistoryOfPaint. My Twitter 
             timeline is now at least 500% more aesthetically pleasing.
%
<@cat-xeger> -mutter- I _so_ love it when I make the exact same mistake 
             multiple times in a row ...
<@mst> practice makes perfect
<@cat-xeger> come over here... let me stab you with my lovely needle ...
%
<+mst> bazhang: "turn it off and on again, harder"
< MetaNova> do it once more, but this time, with _character_
<+mst> [utf8 decoding error at line 1]
< MetaNova> I ? unicode
%
< thrig> note: not portable to tcsh
< mst> people using csh deserve to suffer
< thrig> all lfs is suffering
< thrig> now we medidate: om mani facepalmmmmm
%
<@sungo> cpan has the same issue. cpantesters has it by the fuckton. what 
         does 'make test' do that everyone runs blindly?
<@genehack> ah but there i've gotten drunk with the people exfiltrating 
            my data. probably. 
%
< triddle> I should just get a pet yak and learn to use a straight razor
%
< Logos01> I would really like to know what the fuck happened to the times
           when computers actually only did what you tell them to do.
%
< xenu> mst: please stop spreading lies about me
< huf> but the truth is even worse...
%
<@genehack> this is like a whole clowncar full of clownshoes was driven 
            in and just exploded 
<@perigrin> it's all shit and very little show.
%
< Urchin> all fluids used in military hardware in Russia that contain alcohol
          must be safe to drink, they tried to discourage drinking alcohol by
          introducing poison in them, but they found that they simply
          uselessly poisoned their own men, so gave up on the practice
%
< ology> The most popular language in programming is Profanity
%
< ology> Heh. Questionable spotted in our source code:  my %params = @_[ 
         -( $#_ & 0b11111110 ) .. -1 ];   # get even number of array 
         elements from the rear to populate hash
< Grinnz> found the assembly programmer
%
< huf> the web is a posterchild for a situation where unexpected data can't
       ever get into unexpected places - it deals with well defined,
       unchanging apis and clients, everyone is highly competent, etc
< huf> it's also not user-facing in any way so we're all safe
%
<@ether> it's been non-stop screaming of KHAAAAN over here
%
<errietta> colleague: sub soandso has 12 positional parameters
<errietta> me:
<errietta> me: right, excuse me for a second
<errietta> me: *bangs head against wall 12 times*
%
< sungo> is there a gang sign for ibuprofen?
< pirateFinn> they were probably too hungover to make one.
%
<mst> you're confusing 'humans' and 'people who actually read the rest 
      before mashing reply and yelling'
<simon> the internet was a mistake
%
<me> ...
<me> but but but but but but *argh*
<them> congratulations. You have just duplicated the contents of the bug 
       ticket I just filed.
%
< perigrin> mst: I'm just happy I reached for /quit rather than /kill
< perigrin> er /kick rather than /kill
-!- perigrin [Perigrin@damn.fool.took] has quit [Quit: would have also 
    fixed *my* problem but caused others]
%
< mst> I think we're at http://trout.me.uk/data.jpg until you elucidate :D
< alh> I... I need sleep
< alh> I stared way too long at that photo waiting for it to finish loading :(
%
< pink_mist> skirmisha: FOR FUCKS SAKE I GAVE YOU CODE THAT DIDN'T 
             FUCKING HAVE ! IN IT YOU NITWIT
< genio> look what you've done. you've gone and casted pink_mist to mst
%
< mst> we still aten't dead yet
< perigrin> despite our best efforts
< alh> Almost got him that one time but he escaped with a broken hip.
       Next time...
%
< sungo> \o/ car title arrived
< triddle-work> \o/ that's awesome
< triddle-work> I got mine a few months ago, I should have got a cake
< sungo> this of course is when a metorite will destroy it in the garage
%
< mdk> Well Slack has its charms... nope, nope, it is just an 
       over-engineered playground with expensive ice-creams, I'm only 
       tolerating Telegram because opening the fucker doesn't kill a 
       browser if you have +10 channels
%
<@gwern> as typical with javascript, the explanation just makes me feel 
         more disgusted; I prefer Haskell, where the bizarre magical 
         snippets make me feel dumb instead
%
< tm604> if you happen by chance to get two perl programmers to agree on 
         something, there's a strong chance that one of them is already 
         halfway through rewriting it or learning Forth instead
%
<@sungo> my hairbrush is a gillette mach turbo
%
< blkshp> mst: you're joking (presumes you're joking but wouldnt be the 
          least suprised!)
< blkshp> oh god. you're not joking
%
< lucidian> I figured out what to name a second cat if I ever get one
< lucidian> I mean if I ever get two cats at once
< lucidian> if I do I will name them Clawed Shannon and Alan Purring
%
<@perigrin> kill "In summation, you" just start that sentance with "Give"
<@mst> *sentence
<@perigrin> that too
<@sungo> yes. listen to the guy who can't spell sentence. LISTEN TO HIM GUD
%
< _sfiguser> guys what's the advantage of using a "command" design pattern
             instead of simply putting a setter method in the receiving class?
< mst> http://trout.me.uk/vaguecat.jpg
< thrig> gang of four vague cats?
%
< lucidian> I walked around preaching the gospel of solipsism, and the 
            problem of induction, and Cartesian doubt
< lucidian> I was Annoying Epistemology Girl in high school
< lucidian> I had a shirt that said "OBJECTIVITY IS A LIE"
%
< Obormot> mst: It's a technical term, of course. A well-defined point on 
           the design failure continuum: "kinda weird, lol" - "wtf..." - 
           "super fucky" - "holy fucking shit what even is" - "my 
           computer literally exploded and I am dying, call 911"
%
< ilmari> Getty: this script suppresses the highlight if the line 
          mentions more than three nicks in the channel
< ilmari> for configurable values of three
%
<@gwern> if I expected to live another two centuries, life would still 
         not be long enough to make it worth setting up a hidden server 
         for gwern.net
%
 * perigrin wants a scottish version of git: git push -fu origin HEED
%
< antoinesss> someone can help me with fork?
< mst> if you put the pointy parts into the food and keep the smooth part 
       in your hand you'll find it's a lot less painful
< thrig> well sporken
%
<Soltis> OH FFS
<Soltis> Someone put a duplicate-named sub in a duplicate-named package 
         in a totally different file
<Soltis> Whatever I did to anger the gods of computing, I hope it was worth it
%
< masochist> is there a viable point between open plan hell and cubicle hell?
< errietta> remote working hell! 
< errietta> I'd never leave the house and my depression's depression's
            depression would get depression, but it works for some people :p
%
< perigrin> triddle-work: SGML is old as shit
< perigrin> XML isn't quite
< triddle-work> I thought xml and html were equiold
< Kassandry> They're both equoids, yes.
%
 * gordonfish wonders how hard it is to evade a flying roast
< anno> african or european?
< thrig> that's hard to swallow
%
< Obormot> How hard is it to launch a website, anyway
< mst> depends on the mass of the website and how far you're launching it
< Obormot> This is one of the most apt applications of "it's not rocket 
           science" I can think of
%
< mohawk> as in, white-cat-stroking levels of disappointed?
< mohawk> "mr bigglesworth doesn't like mutations"
< mohawk> "they make him mad"
< mohawk> "and when mr bigglesworth gets mad - PEOPLE DIE"
%
< genio> Could Apple have picked a more generic name than "Secure Transport"?
<@perigrin> yes
<@perigrin> there are several whole commit messages from stevan they 
            could have used
%
 * mako132 grumbles about being told by finance that the numbers he 
    pulled out of his ass didn't have enough shit on them
%
< mudkip> "Dear user may we have your soul?"
< mudkip> "Yes Microsoft sheesh stop asking."
%
<@perigrin> "you can have a three car garage or a living room, your choice"
 * cat-xeger 'd be very tempted to go with the three car garage
<@perigrin> I like having a room that we decorate once, keep dust free, 
            and then never touch unless the FBI comes over.
%
< alh> HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA. *Looks outside, finds dollar bills on 
       fire everywhere*
%
<@Zefram> it only *looks* like a package-qualified sub reference
<@DrHyde> oh.
<@DrHyde> balls.
 * DrHyde sets everything on fire, goes for a drink
%
< bigpresh> A former nightclub near me is now a soft play centre - it 
            somewhat amuses us that some of the children playing in there 
            were probably also conceived in there
%
< ningu> it's pointers all the way down, until you get to the terriers
%
 * mst crushes a babelrc on his forehead
<mohawk> #BrogrammingThugLife
<mohawk> is there a pure-functional-brogramming community?
<mohawk> "side-effect free like a pr0n star!!11"
%
< Grinnz> yes, versions aren't numbers
< Grinnz> stop numifying versions
< xenu> Grinnz: overloading numification to an exception is insane
< Grinnz> no, it's the only way to stop people like you
%
< Logos01> I have to figure out how long is the right amount of time to 
           wait before getting a kitten.
< Logos01> (I only have one cat now. I've always believed that's asking for
           trouble. You need two so they play their villainy off one another.)
%
< quanticle> Man, at least when my parakeet died, it was quick. 
             Literally, heard a small thud, looked over, and there he 
             was, pining for the fjords.
%
< ChoHag> "With alcohol or without alcohol?"!?!
< ChoHag> What kind of stupid question is that for a waiter to ask?
%
< ct> Wanting SystemD because sysadmin becomes easier in edge cases is 
      like wanting chemotherapy because you're tired of getting haircuts
%
< mst> FORTH LOVE? IF HONK THEN
< suchenwi> HONK
< kbk> FORTH LOVE? IF HONK ELSE FORTH LEARN THEN
%
< errietta> i got an s7 edge
< errietta> i should get a case for it
< errietta> it would be quite the edge case
%
<@mst> I thought etherium had only hard-forked once
<@sungo> they've done it a few times since
<@sungo> it's sort of like blowing up the enterprise. once you've done it 
         a couple of times it just seems like the answer to everything
%
< Mithaldu> at least he didn't complain about his characters copyright 
            being violated because someone else drew his fursona
%
<Soltis> I already said it once, as a guideline, but now I'm going to 
         make an absolute rule: "come to me, personally, if you touch 
         anything relating to @areas or I'm going to entomb you in salt"
%
<mst> the only thing twitter ever seems to successfully do in 'mass' form 
      is 'cause collateral damage'
<rabcyr> well it is american
%
< daniel__> Hello all!
< integral> hello__ daniel
%
 * GumbyPAN CPAN Upload: Markdent-0.27 by DROLSKY 
    https://metacpan.org/release/DROLSKY/Markdent-0.27
< ology> Next: Arthurdent
%
< Mithaldu> also now i'm unsure whether EKOSTALA is "error kostala" or an 
            abbreviation of your name. i guess it can be both
< errietta> definitely error kostala
< errietta> i have a love hate relationship with the word 'errata'
%
< huf> the only way i can make _any_ sense of that is to pretend you'd 
       written "cum" instead of "mysql"
%
<kbk> Trailing whitespace is wrong. Sporadic commits that fix trailing
      whitespace that's already there are worse.
<stu> From now on, I'm adding one trailing whitespace char to every commit.
%
< pstef> To be precise, what I have in mind involves a function to 
         rebuild the table, so the use of it is similar to use of a 
         matview. REFRESH MATERIALIZED VIEW ...; vs SELECT rebuild_view();
< pstef> Which is easy to get almost correct, so perhaps don't.
%
<@cat-xeger> That was way funnier when I thought you were trying to sort 
             a list of dicks
%
If you’re crazy and you know it, self-aware!
If you’re crazy and you know it, self-aware!
It’s chic to be insane, just go meta with your brain
If you’re crazy and you know it, self-aware!
%
< errietta> I ended up replacing it with linux
< errietta> no cortana there
< sungo> just systemd
< sungo> I prefer cortana
%
< Ralith> #lesswrong, or #allyouneverwantedtoknowaboutfinland
< RiversHaveWings> my favorite "in finland" was when someone was talking about
                   rising sea levels and kuudes just went "in finland, the sea
                   level is falling due to post-glacial rebound"
%
< rightfold> DNS is just naming things and cache invalidation, it can’t be
             that hard.
%
< errietta> mst: you're alive?
< mst> errietta: BRAAAAAAAINS
< errietta> close enough
%
<@mako132> the light at the end of the budget planning tunnel turns out 
           to be a vary large and angry glow worm
%
< jsuntheimer72> If god used Tcl, it would have taken him 2 days.
< jsuntheimer72> And the earth was without form, and void, and God said 
                 "pack .", and it was good.
%
<@alh> I've stayed in a hotel with you 5 times and nothing's happened
<@alh> All talk
<@rjbs> alh: you're a heavy sleeper
<@alh> o________O
%
< TBSliver> you can replicate mysql databases! and when you break the
            two servers you get to keep all 6 halves
%
17:06 < mst> > could not read relation mapping file
               "base/16386/pg_filenode.map": No such file or directory
17:06 < mst> it's dead, Jim.
19:20 < jim> mst, the deadness of jim has been greatly exaggerated!
%
<errietta> Where does a mansplainer get his water from?
<errietta> From a well, actually
%
< incurian> also i think it's possible we were all too hard on icp. i 
            don't have a fucking clue how magnets work
%
< skaufman> best code is deleted code
< skaufman> well unless you're importing leftpad
%
< jsuntheimer72> Kids today have Google Home and IFTTT so they can can 
                 shout repeatedly instead of reaching for things.  
                 Ironically, this is why I had kids.  Circle of life.
%
<@gwern> 'how do you know a finn is extroverted?' 'he's using *your* 
         phone's hotspot to watch a movie'
%
< ilmari> I have a branch to allow arrayrefrefs in the from list (for SRFs),
          but I'll hang fire merging until we've discussed design a bit more
< ilmari> (table-arrayrefrefe)
< ilmari> s/fe/f/ # a bit of a covfefe moment there
%
< Ricaz> So I have another question that might get you guys excited
< mst> excitement is overrated
< mst> it gives me a pain in the diodes down my left hand side
 * ilmari shivers in antici…
%
< rsaarelm> I'm still stuck in the oldfashioned mindset where the links 
            people may not necessarily want to click at work are 
            something like HD videos of a Japanese woman defecating live 
            baby eels into the mouth of another Japanese woman.
%
< xenu> one day i'll quit and you all will be sorry
< mst> xenu: that we didn't convince you to do so sooner
< huf> no seriously why are you trying to drive him away
< huf> you should strive to keep him around so we can belittle him more
%
< Logos01> kiba: Does this make sense?
< kiba> Not really. 
< Logos01> Gah.
%
< xenu> ok, i will help you guys
< xenu> you're both wrong
< xenu> eot
%
< Zr40> "This innovative layout allows the two signal wires to run parallel,
         compared to the standard twisted-pair configuration, shortening the
         signal path and drastically increasing transfer speeds."
< Zr40> that's... not how any of this works
%
< TimToady> we really should do socket autodetection on every passed in fd
< TimToady> *passed-in
 * TimToady now pictures a passed-out socket...
%
< integral> if you turn on -j4, you can get 4 segfaults at once!
%
<errietta> pft
<errietta> i dropped my tiny christmas tree and it completely broke
<errietta> oh well
<errietta> i guess that's the universe telling me it's february
%
<stevied> perhaps. but i gotta crawl before I can walk.
<mst> currently you seem to be taking a running leap off somebody else's cliff 
<stevied> well, i'll learn more about gravity that way.
<ether> (once)
%
<@hobbs> but WsprryPi calls itself a *bareback* WSPR transmitter
<@sungo> uh
<@hobbs> although I guess if that causes concern, most non-Japanese 
         condoms will probably fit a Pi Zero.
%
<@hobbs> status of my package has changed to "the item is currently in 
         transit to the destination"
<@hobbs> which means "we haven't scanned it any time lately"
<@ct> Status: Many Bothans have died.
%
 * mako132 flips through this PCI Compliance book
<@mako132> I'll never have insomnia again \o/
%
< xenu> the last time this channel has seen such a pointless discussion
< xenu> was earlier today
< huf> no it wasnt
< shmem> xenu, do you see a discussion? I don't
%
< triddle-work> humans! how did I get dependencies on them in my system
%
 * naptastic rolls his eyes
< purl> You rolled a 10, naptastic
< naptastic> n...no.
-!- naptastic [~david@2620:0:28a2:4010:e475:84d8:56f1:1407] has quit
%
< sobel> tl/dr: i wanted a glass of wine more than responsibility
%
< triddle-work> the document says all confidential information has to be 
                destroyed beyond recovery
< triddle-work> that is such a bullshit metric
< sungo> but it gives you the ability to expense thermite
%
< triddle> sudo su - <user to troubleshoot> # nein
< mst> wat
< triddle> nein!
< mst> yes, you'll get about one nein of reliability that way, I'm sure
%
< NamedN> i suspect the point at which i'm trying to css the wall is the 
          time to stop web design :P
%
In American English, the term pantyhose generally refers to 
hosiery traditionally worn by women since their introduction 
in 1959, however some manufacturers also produce pantyhose for 
men, or, colloquially, mantyhose, brosiery, or guylons.
%
< sungo> because of course I had to make jerkcity.wang a thing if I could
< mst> I was more expecting you to buy micro.wang tbh
< sungo> mst: it's too long of a domain name to reflect its content
< nrr> mst: not enough HULAGLUHALGAGLAG
%
Q: How do you tell the difference between a dad joke and a mom joke?
A: Dad jokes end with an exclamation mark -- ! -- whereas mom jokes end
   with a period.
%
< thrig> ah geez this nagios configuration involves procmail
%
<@davel> in-house pre-DBIC ORMs--
<@DrHyde> davel: in-house post-DBIC ORMs are more exciting!
<@DrHyde> (i cleansed it with fire, and defaced its monuments, and salted 
          the earth)
%
< simcop2387> I think I have a problem.  I just made multiple Lisp jokes 
              at someone, and am still convinced they were funny.
%
<@tomboh> today I've been thinking about catering at CDN conferences
<@tomboh> I wonder how many bites they serve
%
 * LeoNerd pictures the tabloid headlines;  PEVANS gives head to Perl
%
< sungo> you can find javascript devs on the friggen street corner. Hold 
         up a sign that reads "HIRING NODE.JS DEVS" and bring a panel van
< sungo> your call on whether you interview them or bury their bodies in 
         the woods
%
<@alh>  alh | ಠ_ಠ
<@alh> rjbs | sorry, karen
<@alh> ether: You're famous.
%
< Su-Shee> well I killed my first server today or rather me and my developer.
< Grinnz> you killed you and your developer?
< thrig> 50 shades of reiserfs
%
<@ether> the voices in my head are hoarse from shouting KHAN
%
<jessesingal> Not to brag, but people have told me I'm really good at talking
              about how good a listener I am.
%
< Obormot> "the rationality community, a side effect of Eliezer Yudkowsky"
< mst> well, we're certainly not functional
<@gwern> * application of Eliezer Yudkowsky has not been evaluated or
           approved by the FDA
%
< xenu> i don't recommend cygwin *because* mst is using it
%
 * errietta puts insanity up on github \o/
< sungo> deviantart for software people, github is
< errietta> nah
< errietta> there's good stuff on deviantart
%
<@alh> I can't grow facial hair for shit but what I have is already 
       massively turning white apparently o_O
<@alh> "Distinguished Molester" upgrade
%
< Su-Shee> sqlite: db for the handbag. postgres: representative db for 
           the main wall in the living room. mysql: I don't have any 
           accessoire going with that.
%
< huf> the ideal UI should change as quickly as the knife has
< thrig> "what do these three vertical dots on the knife do?" "oh that's 
         where we hide the prefs or other random things"
< huf> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
%
<Soltis> Just the fact that I understand what you're talking about - 
         mostly - makes me feel a little uncomfortable.
<Soltis> Mostly for the same reason I avoid motorcycles
<Soltis> I'd have WAY TOO MUCH FUN and someone would die.
%
< Grinnz> its kind of funny. all of this craziness stems from the fact 
          that enough of the world uses UTF-8, but not enough of the 
          world uses UTF-8
%
< sobel> aaaand fucking hell, i can't get jdbc to stop eating the whole budgie
%
< mst> apparently I successfully made myself a pot of hot water
 * mst tries again, this time with some actual coffee in the fucking machine
< Dorward> Graham still wins. "I've had too much coffee today." (puts mug 
           in vending machine, covers his teabag in espresso).
%
< simcop2387> If a man lays with a man he should be stoned.  Therefore, with
              legal marriage between two men, we must also legalize pot.
%
< quanticle> God, every time I have to write more than one line of bash, 
             I miss powershell.
< quanticle> Conversely, every time I have to write less than 5 lines of 
             Powershell, I miss bash.
%
<hypnotoad> My timeline for rewriting the folk fest registration system was
            moved up to "RIGHT NOW" after an unfortunate "Linode manager
            reformatted not only the image I intended but all of the images
            including my backups"
%
< timotimo> you just $the_block($/)
< timotimo> or $the_block($arse-result) or whatever you call it
< mst> timotimo: Error: undefined buttock at line 1
< timotimo> oh lord
%
<@alh> "Since you are traveling as an unaccompanied minor, you'll need to 
       check in at the airport.
<@alh> That was on mobile. Worked fine on desktop. Riiiiiiiiiight
<@alh> Also fuck you mst (pre-emptive)
%
< pooryorick> For the sake of this discussion, I'm willing to hypothesize 
              that I'm an idiot
%
< mdk> How do you know it is a dangerous dog? Well if it has small piggy 
       eyes and a low sloping forehead the dog it owns will be dangerous.
%
<Kassandry> You let me know about an important demo. Awesome. Here's a 
            nice carrot, client. That's a good client. *pets*
%
< quicksilver> the great thing about hiring a mind controlling lizard
< quicksilver> is that you never regret it
< quicksilver> they don't let you
%
< ilmari> I start food-related typos when I'm hungry
< ilmari> e.g. meta -> meat
< ilmari> make meatfile
%
< LeoNerd> Ohyes, that dual-use 'U-as-consonant'
< LeoNerd> use, ewes, yous
< LeoNerd> .. go home English, to all your various 
           geographically-distinct homes
%
<@sungo> my meditation center is on par with that, cost wise, but is a lot
         better. It's called The Absinthe Center For Wellness And Forgetting
%
< talexb> And they're interchangeable anyway. 4 x 2 is the same as 2 x 4.
< mst> talexb: only if you rotate the wood 90 degrees
< anno> eval: [4 x 2, 2 x 4]
< perlbot> anno: [44,2222]
%
< kd> still haven't managed to get to nailing my foreskin to a plank of wood
      writing a bunch of xml and there's only 50 minutes left of the morning
< ether> kd: I resent the fact that you made me think about your foreskin
< ether> but one more item checked off my bucket list, I guess...
%
< Dorward> Someone just phoned me about the accident in which I was innocent. 
< Dorward> They hung up after I told them I wasn't even flying the helicopter
           and my **** was sliced clean off.
%
< sungo> sometimes my brain refuses to see the stupid thing in front of it
< mst> that happens to me a lot
< mst> especially when looking in mirrors
< sungo> thought i was just a vampire
%
< mst> I've done telesales to make rent back in the dim and distant past
< huf> you.
< huf> well this is an interesting thing to imagine. and how did that go?
< huf> BUY THIS FUCKING PRODUCT YOU ABSOLUTE WANKER I'M TELLING YOU IT'S GREAT
%
<@gwern> I suppose the average occupation in SF would be a marijuana 
         farmer whose plants have been bred to secrete HTML
%
<glyph> If the answer to the question "why do you need to use a jackhammer?"
        is "to knock my grandmother's head off to let out the evil spirits
        that gave her cancer", then maybe the problem is actually unrelated
        to jackhammers
%
< MasterDuke> how do it tell if a routine gets inlined?
< mst> smash the stack in the body and read the backtrace?
< jnthn> MasterDuke: --profile and look at the call stack tab
< MasterDuke> jnthn++, mst--
%
< dngor> Professor Xavier's all "I'm helping mutants and humans live 
         together in harmony" but he's got a big enough ego to name the X 
         gene and X-Men after himself.  Makes me wonder what's really 
         going on inside his noggin.
%
< Logos01> To be fair, pedestrian and Arizona go together like peanut butter
           and global thermonuclear warfare.
%
 * nickb is hated at $work for going "sssssss" after someone says Postgre
 * rightfold had an intern who said “Postgr”
< depesz> when's the funeral?
%
> > > > you’re all wrong, negative numbers don’t exist
> > > I suppose that’s a natural assumption to make.
> > proposal: the integers should be renamed the unnatural numbers
> The proposal goes unsigned.
%
<NamedN> me: are you available Sunday 8th April?
<NamedN> them: is that a sunday?
<mst> ... ... ... ...
 * NamedN gives up on humanity
%
< ChoHag> I confess I stopped paying attention to Debian politics long ago.
< ChoHag> In fact exactly the time they decided systemd was good for anything
          other than pissing on.
%
< xenu> openbsd devs are insane
< ChoHag> They're hilarious.
< ChoHag> They're like those tiny angry dogs with the bark you can hear a 
          continent away.
%
< ChoHag> Why fit a firewall rule into 1 line when a dozen will do?
< ilmari> or a five-key JSON object :)
< ilmari> (which it what you need for a security group ingress or egress rule)
< ilmari> for approximate values of five...
%
<errietta> > try to say i don't get any calls
<errietta> > call drops
<errietta> > i get connected again later
<errietta> > CS: we tried calling you, it goes straight to voice mail
%
< triddle-work> "As SWAT officers approached, he detonated a bomb in the 
                vehicle, killing himself and injuring one of them, 
                provoking another to fire upon the vehicle."
< triddle-work> yes, shoot the explosion, that will stop it
%
< rud0lf> roses are red, violets are blue, '}' expected, at line 22
%
< ether> FFS people - the possessive is "its". "it's" means "it is". COME ON.
< mst> no, no, no, an apostrophe means OH SHIT LOOK OUT HERE COMES AN S
< ether> I don't, I can't, I won't, accept that
%
< mst> americans look at me like I've grown a second head when I explain 
       I don't have a driving license
< Burnin8> "Oh, I'm sorry, how's your recovery?  Still attending meetings?"
%
< Obormot> Why the fuck do I have to write basic goddamn math algorithms
           myself in this, the Year of Our Lord [CURRENT_YEAR]
<@gwern> the good news is that Obormot is now qualified to write a Bitcoin
         exchange
%
< mst> in the traditional theme of "inappropriate backronyms are easier 
       to remember", "women give head often"
< Zr40> I'm sure a subset of them do
< rightfold> As do a sub set
%
< mst> it's raining on my screen
< mst> &
< errietta> rain and screen usually not ideal
< kd> rain and tmux much less likely to enter catastrophic failure mode
%
< nrr> dick ghosts, ghost dicks, etc.
< nrr> it's been one of those tuesdays.
%
< sungo> it feels like an awful amount of code and work for what should
         be a joke
< mst> sungo: you could say the same thing about your entire life.
< sungo> mst: well, yes
%
< AdrianO> "Now with 5% more tarantulas!" is another phrase which is 
           probably not going to catch on.
%
< TBSliver> Check dreamboat too
< TBSliver> Dreamhost
< TBSliver> Fucking autocockwreck
%
< xocolatl> seems they can't figure out the difference between a normal
            function and an aggregate, but they're an expert in monads. okay
< sobel> they win the award for most-baffling combination of knowledge 
         and ignorance
%
<seananmcguire> They are wrong.
<seananmcguire> Fanfic is beautiful.
<seananmcguire> Writing fanfic teaches you important storytelling skills.
<seananmcguire> I have a funnel and access to wasps.
%
<stevel> I identify as an Olympic athlete
<stevel> in the sport of Power Sitting
<stevel> I do think they should start combining Olympic sports 
         .... starting with archery and synchronized swimming
%
16:57  * errietta has cadbury's chocolate eggs
16:57  * errietta will not eat all of them in one go
17:02  * errietta has no more chocolate eggs
17:02  * errietta tried..
%
< Obormot\Sirius> So here's my recipe for bird's milk cake:
< Obormot\Sirius> Don't do what I did
%
-!- mode/#afp [+o Kincaid] by ccooke
<@Kincaid> heh
<@Kincaid> ooohhhh..... I feel all tingly
<@Kincaid> oh, wait, I was sat on my leg
%
< integral> \&CORE::require = sub { if ($_[0] =~ /^Moose/) { warn "Please 
            wait while Moose is loaded...\n" } CORE::require(@_) }
%
< tpanarch1st> mst: no, i've been around a long time, i've quietly put up with
               a lot with faith, now i have none in how the network is managed
<@mst> tpanarch1st: I find your lack of faith disturbing
< uplime> you don't know the power of the staff side
%
< LeoNerd> so I have to  make clean; make all  and that takes an hooooour
< tom_m> this sounds like a task for The Cloud
< tom_m> by the time you're back from makerlab, a new an exciting 
         replacement build error will be waiting for you
%
<Kassandry> Open fridge. Cat hops in fridge. wtf
 * Kassandry now has a cold pussy looking betrayed
%
< frew> don't ever try to justify not writing a parser to me
< frew> I hate writing parsers
< frew> it's such thankless, fiddly work
< frew> even with ingy literally next to you
%
<@saturn2> in the universal stupid vs. evil dichotomy, ethereum is the 
           stupid version and urbit is the evil version of the same thing
< miroc> saturn2: where's the smart version?
<@saturn2> miroc: you were born on the wrong planet for that, buddy
%
< LeoNerd> use bass::slap;
 * mst calls PETA
< LeoNerd> Oh,.. that's bass. not bass
< LeoNerd> See they're pronounced totally differently
%
< xenu> fun fact: the original purpose of Dist::Zilla was to serve as a 
        stress test for cpan clients, module authoring functionality was 
        added much later
%
< masochist> inside every pessimist is a disappointed idealist
< perigrin> inside every cannibal is a failed marathon runner.
%
< pol> Once upon a time I had ops on Undernet
< pol> Before they put sanity filtering on G-lines
< pol> G-lining aol.com was not a *huge* issue
< pol> G-lining .com on the other hand....
%
<Kassandry> Also, just tried some Spicy Starbursts. Not spicy, and the 
            flavors are just horrible. I'm sure the recipe came from 
            1930's Germany. Eat more of the starbursts or get in the 
            freezing water. Your choice. *pause* *splash*
%
< foldr`> And the FDW schema should be BCNF
< foldr`> .oO(MongoDB databases are in Boycott Normal Form)
%
-!- mode/#slatestarcodex [+ooo Bakkot quanticle incurian] by ChanServ
< mst> a whole array of new operators
<@Bakkot> mst: operator overloading
<@quanticle> I was waiting for that joke.
%
< El_Che> mst asks to post the code because it's easier to help you that
          way (and because something died in him  after the 10,000th time
          he tried to help without code)
%
< sungo> my life would be very different if I were capable of caring 
         about soemthing even half as much as you all care about star trek
%
< errietta> ow
< masochist> errietta: I told you before, use lube
 * Kassandry hyposprays errietta 
%
< rightfold> It’s one of those things that aren’t fun but you can’t do 
             anything about them. Like JavaScript, or the heat death of 
             the universe.
%
< quicksilver> do you mean that her imposter syndrome has imposter syndrome
< quicksilver> "I'm not even a real syndrome"
< masochist> yes
< quicksilver> impostception
%
< Obormot\Sirius> Also, note that GW now has an additional theme available
< Obormot\Sirius> So if anyone here hates all six themes we had before
< Obormot\Sirius> Now you have a seventh theme to hate
%
< mst> wait, you think any of us were trying to help?
< mst> that's ADORABLE
< sungo> ok. let me rephrase
< sungo> mst, masochist: shut the living fuck up.
%
<@ether> I can see lots of exceptions immediately :(
<@ether> #itscomplicated
< Grinnz> also written as #toolchain
%
< Julia> Hello from the bus. I leave my work duties of whispering threats 
         to hardware in order to go home and do the same with my own IT
%
<@mst> > I like big butts and I cannot lie, my brother also likes big 
       butts and cannot tell the truth, how will you escape our dungeon
<@rjbs> through the butt
%
<@alh> Cell phones are terrible investments
<@sungo> yes they are
<@sungo> particularly if you're an android user
<@alh> Well at least a samsung can keep you warm one day
%
< mohawk_pts> PHP makes it easy to make terrifyingly fast websites
< mst> PHP makes it easy to make terrifying websites fast
< Grinnz> PHP makes it terrifying to make fast websites... easy?
<@sri> PHP terrifies fast website makers easily... am i doing this right?
%
< quicksilver> kiltbomb: v. tr. : To cause a profound effect on someone's 
               emotional state by the untelegraphed wearing of a kilt, e.g.
               "did you see that? Ilmari totally kiltbombed that recruiter!"
%
< ether> I found this hotel to be much quieter than most, but it has the same
         problem as all of them which is the room can't get cold enough
< leont_> ether: complaining rooms in Norway can't get cold enough is the 
          most Canadian thing I've heard in a while ;-)
%
< sawyer> jberger: "Hey, Leon!", leont_: "Oh, no..."
< sawyer> jberger and Exodist: "Here's our idea...", leont_: "This is a 
          terrible idea. You shouldn't do it. But here's how you could do 
          it anyway..."
%
< HeyDude22> I'm looking to change my dick
< HeyDude22> ....
< HeyDude22> NICK
< HeyDude22> NICK
%
< mohawk> "drink and programming are the curse of the perl classes"
%
17:55 < marcus> jberger: fwiw it seems to run faster like this. At 93% atm.
17:58 < marcus> hmm, maybe not. at 102% done now :'(
18:00 < marcus> marcus-- # put the ++ inside the inner loop.
%
< ChoHag> The trick to using windows and maximising its performance is 
          simple: don't.
%
< errietta> i want fried egg
< errietta> but last time i made fried egg i started a fire
< masochist> I have a simple solution for you
< masochist> don't start a fire this time
%
<errietta> bah humbag
<mst> is that like a bumbag, but full of bees
<errietta> why would you have a bumbag full of bees
<errietta> that seems like a horrible way to store bees
%
<@cat-xeger> On the good side, my garden is progressing, and I'm halfway 
             done my hammer storage.
<@cat-xeger> On the not so good side, I no longer have the body of an 18yo
<@sungo> might be able to find one at nearby cemetary. or a bar
%
<@gwern> 'We sift humans from the animals, by exposing them to chat 
         channels and watching. We call this test... the Gom Jabber. Few 
         survive it.'
%
< ggreer> uh oh. I said, "this is a bikeshed" and now I'm in an argument 
          over whether or not it's a bikeshed
%
< masochist> I am still pleased with my coining rule 34.b
< masochist> if it exists, there's a bikeshed about it. no exceptions.
< mst> masochist: no there isn't
< masochist> mst++ # thank you
%
< haarg> Test::Harness adds -w
< haarg> EUMM disables that
< haarg> Module::Build does not
< haarg> a jenga tower of dicks
%
< pink_mist> a long long time ago I was being an annoying asshole in an 
             irc channel far far away, and one of the ops murdered me so 
             hard a pink mist was all that was left
%
< mst> premature optimization is like masturbation
< mst> you're welcome to do it in the privacy of your own home
< mst> but it's rude to ask other people to help
< ttkp> huh .. I guess Californian culture is different that way
%
< mst> masochist: it's perfectly named, it's for input BINDings
< masochist> but input for what?
< mst> I was just making a DNS pun
< errietta> mst: AAAA, that's horrible
%
< El_Che> fatpack is easy to read but you need to imitate a northern 
          english accent, though. And laugh manically halfway
%
< castaway> mebbe divide it into: thing we want to do; investigation into 
            how; actual plan; details/time estaime ?
 * castaway waves a magic wand at that last bit of spelling
%
<@ether> that uncomfortable feeling after listening closely to a nice 
         metal song and realizing they're talking about Jesus..
<@mst> and then half the best scandinavian black metal artists end up in jail
<@ether> whatever happened to the wholesome songs about eating baby heads
%
< mst> an apostrophe does not mean 'oh shit look out here comes an S'
< sungo> mst: it's the grammar version of SURPRISE
%
< pirateFinn> I'm convinced at this point that the web designers for the 
              AWS documentation were given far too many recreational drugs
%
< jberger> Most of jberger's modules should be run from, screaming
%
<@ether> ooh ooh I know, someone should write it as an overload of ~~
<@mst> ether: source filter!
< purl> NO NO DIE DIE DIE !!!! STABBIE!
<@ether> LOL
%
< ttkp> slightly dreading my annual review with $boss1, which is stupid.
< ttkp> I've kept my head and dtrt in the face of police dogs, fires, 
        gang shoot-outs and debugging legacy php apps.
< ttkp> this should be a piece of cake by comparison
%
-!- davercc [~user@140.211.41.49] has joined #perl
< davercc> i
-!- davercc [~user@140.211.41.49] has left #perl []
< simcop2387> i think he didn't make it to "think", therefor he is not
%
< sungo> these days I definitely say "redhat linux" with the same tone 
         and weight that our CTO says "oracle solaris"
%
< ChoHag> systemd did do _one_ useful thing while it was installed.
< ChoHag> It's so noisy that its logs helped us determine quite precisely 
          when the system went down.
%
< mst> goddamnit, somebody else's pizza delivery just rang the doorbell
< mst> repeatedly, because it took me a minute to put on pants
< masochist> ... tempted to send a pizza delivery to your flat now
%
17:25 < Grinnz> nuke it from orbit
17:33 -!- PanoptaOutage has joined #metacpan
17:33 < PanoptaOutage> fastapi.metacpan.org outage at 11:32:09 CDT: HTTPS
17:34 < Grinnz> well, i didn't mean like that
%
<NamedN> i'm hoping alcohomol will help
<NamedN> alcojeml
<NamedN> droinmk
<NamedN> fuckit
%
< triddle-work> I.... don't......... the fuck..... *sigh*
%
< komali2> For the record, the optimal breakfast is 4 hard boiled eggs, 
           some slices of cheese, and 50g of bread, and I *do* have 
           graphs to demonstrate this ;)
<@saturn2> do you have a graph showing the benefits of using graphs
%
< masochist> so if you pkg_add horseporn, pkg_delete -a won't remove it
%
< quicksilver> but I do sometime make homonymic or quasi-homonymic typos 
               even when I know very well which work is which.
%
< sobel> i remember sending font-changes ahead of piping stuff to PRN:
< sobel> so i could print my BBS files in italic
< sobel> now if my printer doesn't Just Work i take it back and buy booze
         instead
%
11:54 < TBSliver> mdk: did the internet just die at the office?
11:54 < TBSliver> (no answer though will mean it did haha)
12:47 < mdk> Yes
12:47 < mdk> it did
%
< thrig> there are two major problems in computing: naming things, cache 
         coherency, off by one issues, and
< cousteau> thrig, those are four, shouldn't it be 2±1?
< pink_mist> cousteau: there. are. FOUR. lights.
%
< El_Che> the coolest member of the p* family is preap on Solaris though
< El_Che> kill the zombies
< hobbs> by removing the head or destroying the brain
< El_Che> that's an implementation detail that can change between releases
%
<@sri> wow, postgres 11 is a game changer!
<@sri> you can now close psql with "quit" and "exit" :D
%
< Filipe> Nietzsche: god is dead
< Filipe> Freud: god is dad
< Filipe> Zuckerberg: god is ad
%
< two2theheadPC0> Ah. Kidnapping and Ransom insurance. NOT Kernighan and 
                  Ritchie >_>
<@gwern> don't be silly. no one would be crazy enough to sell you 
         insurance on problems in your C code
%
< Winterbay> Great, someone has decided to listen to Opera without 
             headphones in an open office...
< hikari> Winterbay, Have you considered beating them to death?
%
<@sri> weather forecast promised rain... and then we got 34C
<@sri> it's not supposed to be that warm in northern germany
< mst> sri: http://trout.me.uk/meltered.jpg
<@sri> my spirit animal
%
< feep> you can't just drop this pdf on me and walk out :(
< feep> that's like putting a leash on the dog and then going to have a bath
< feep> while I'm just sitting here, like, "debate?? debate???"
< feep> :headtilt, whine: ... debate?
%
< XORXERY> The only thing that can be learned from history is that 
           usually the person with the most preposterous thing on top of 
           his (sometimes her) head runs the show.
%
<@mst> I keep forgetting you're older than sungo
<@perigrin> only physically, mentally he out olds me :)
 * sungo whacks perigrin with his cane
<@ct> "My lawn and your proximity to it: A Dissertation"
%
<@ct> it kept waking me up in the middle of the night as I'd roll and it 
      lit up with the watch right next to an eyeball
<@mst> CEILING IWATCH IS WATCHING YOU MASTURBATE
<@ct> hey, you put it on the correct wrist you can get steps for that
%
<@mst> ether: fancy writing a Mojo::Pg based ORM together?
<@ether> mst: fuck you with a rusty chainsaw
<@mst> .oO "or I could just start one and give ether co-maint"
<@ether> goto line 10
%
<sungo> when *I* am saying "jesus, man, calm the fuck down", you know it's bad
%
<mst> Alexander Gauland, a leader of the German far-right party AfD, was
      reportedly in a lake when a man shouted "for Nazis, there is no
      bathing place" and stole his clothes
<Mithaldu> nazis can go take showers
%
<@chargrill> the whole deal was an attempt by my then-wife to bandage our
             failing marriage (by buying a condo for fucks sake. i can't even)
<@mst> beats "'fixing' a marriage by having a kid you don't really want"
<@perigrin> mst: to be fair we fixed having the kid by getting married
%
< mst> "just let me roll a fag" confuses americans even more
<@gwern> you want to be a rogue in order to roll a fag, though, due to 
         the need for manual dexterity
< nshepperd_> Druid imo. The ability to turn into a bear at will is vital
%
< mst> I mean, we do sort of have a standard deployment, but that's 
       because I documented an install I did once and everybody cargo 
       culted it from then on
< Grinnz> isn't that just devops
%
 * Logos01 now has LTE functionality on his new phone
< mst> Logos01: less than or equal to what though?
< Logos01> Your mother.
< Logos01> I mean she's a pretty high bar to match.
%
< Logos01> This got me to full "Long-Term Evolution" (I have no idea why 
           that's what LTE means, just writing it this way to vex mst) 
           functionality on the phone.
< Logos01> Plus I got to use "vex" in a sentence.
%
< mdk> 3 times a week is enough
< mst> said the bishop to the nun
< mdk> You're kidding right, that's a minimum daily number in the 
       Catholic church, though it generally refers to choirboys
%
< mst> having the kernel enforce it via ulimit is much nicer
< mst> you just need to find the win32 equivalent
< xenu> windows has a strict memory limit enforced by lack of OOM killer
< xenu> so at some point system stops responding
%
< castaway> # Looks like you failed 142 tests of 143.
< castaway> .. yay ;)
< TBSliver> castaway: you missed one :P
 * TBSliver passes castaway the shotgun and points towards behind the shed
%
<@ct> Azure has lost one of our servers
<@ct> Status: Running
<@ct> Real Status: Lol, no tho seriously
<@ct> oldmanshoutsatcloud.jpg
%
< El_Che> gnome 3 > macos > win7 > syphilis > windows 10
%
< Logos01> java is a punishment from the gods of order and reason
           for our impurity for rejecting the way of GNU.
%
< LeoNerd> OK good, this seems to be working again
< LeoNerd> And now I can resume to  tail -f mail.log  to see if I can 
           find out the cause of the /actual/ problem I started debugging 
           an hour ago
%
* CPAN Upload Data-Sah-Coerce-perl-str-str_to_currency_pair-0.001 by PERLANCAR 
<Grinnz> i feel like perlancar is just randomly generating dists at this point
<mst> PERLMARKOV
<thrig> ... POLO
%
< simcop2387>   /lastlog -hi
< simcop2387>  /lastlog -hi
< simcop2387> ... caffiene needed
%
< errietta> this new guy is doing machine learning stuff as a hobbt
< mst> THEY@RE TAKING THE DATA TO ISENGARD
< Penfold> to ISENGARD?
< ether> TO ISENGARD
%
18:11 -!- python476 [~user@2a01:e35:8a9c:3610:5a94:6bff:fe8f:4c4c] has joined 
          ##prolog
18:12 < python476> prolog sucks, c is the only tru programm#@$910.x3..ge
%
< dax> weird, i set my clock to MST and it just says "pub" all the time
%
< triddle-work> oh good so when someone I barely know endorses me as a 
                php expert it can never go away ever
< mst> the sex offenders' register was already permanent
< triddle-work> that one doesn't bug me as much as php expert
%
< ttkp> for perl-physics-hardness I derived an artificial hardness scale 
        TUSH and drew up a relation between TUSH and a variety of scales
< mst> ttkp's uniform scale of hardness?
 * ttkp /cookie mst
%
< Urchin> kuudes: "do you want to elect this bunch of incompetents, or 
          this bunch of thieves?"
< mst> Urchin: "don't worry, in practice they'll turn out to be both"
< Urchin> mst: "it's more a question of tendency"
%
< pmurias> what do you feel about the state of the direction Perl 5?
< simcop2387> we have a direction? :)
< lopid> "going forward"
< huf> cos we cant find reverse
%
<@BipolarBear> BRILLIANT
<@BipolarBear> THE SECURITY CERTIFICATE FOR THE .MIL SECURITY SITE IS EXPIRED
<@BipolarBear> fuck me running
%
< hobbs> I have a londoner coworker complaining about the "heat wave" :)
< hobbs> the temperature appears to have risen all the way into the 20s!
< mst> hobbs: it got up to 28 and also fuck you
< Botje> "does it ever stop raining here?" "I don't know sir, I'm only eight"
%
<@hobbs> based on how big your ducts are or whatever
<@perigrin> I like big ducts and I cannot lie
<@vmbrasseur> hobbs likes big ducts and cannot tell the truth.
<@vmbrasseur> You get three questions.
%
< quanticle> You... don't have syntax highlighting
< mst> quanticle: can't stand it
 * quanticle backs away slowly, having heard the saying about meddling in 
    the affairs of wizards.
%
<@hobbs> o/ CUT MY FROG INTO PIECES, THIS IS MY LAB REPORT o/
%
 * mst shudders at 120v
<@insomnia> pfft.  240
<@insomnia> WITH THE FUCKING SWITCHES UPSIDE DOWN.
<@insomnia> umop apisdn
%
< mohawk> step 1: hire bruce willis
< mohawk> step 2: ...
< mohawk> step 3: victory
< mohawk> obviously i'd delegate step 2
%
 * vreg writes a regex to parse mst's regex and then writes a regex to 
    fix the regex that was supposed to parse mst's regex
%
< dax> 17:03:22 <@IdleBot> el learned Perl! This wondrous godsend has 
       accelerated them 0 days, 05:50:52 towards level 60.
< dax> el: shit i knew i should have stopped you from talking to mst
%
<@quicksilver> MySQL gave me a T-shirt!
<@davel> if only they'd given you a database :-/
<@quicksilver> it's ok, I already have one
<@quicksilver> the T-shirt was more useful
%
< MiscM> where can I find /topic?
%
< BinGOs> it comes as something when I am comtemplating debugging stuff 
          in EUMM as a break from coding ircds in perl :)
%
< Obormot\Sirius> And that's why WoW these days is sux
< Obormot\Sirius> The Old Ways Are The Best Ways™, issue 87 of ∞
< mst> [old man shouts at cloud].jpg
< Obormot\Sirius> (more like, old man shouts at blizzard) >_>
%
< xenu> xfce? you're using a fucking desktop environment with wsl?
< mst> xenu: I'm doing the same thing with cygwin
< xenu> mst: we have already established that you're a weirdo
< xenu> but i still had some hope for genio
%
< sungo> holy shit.
< sungo> guido just FYIQ on python 
  https://www.mail-archive.com/python-committers@python.org/msg05628.html
< TBSliver> mst: WHAT DID YOU DO?!
%
< errietta> mst: i don't know why i remembered this but do you remember 
            at SC the first time i said something like "what the fuck" 
            really loud and everyone laughed
< mst> errietta: it was a proud day for all of us.
%
<@gwern> or heck, just replace your bottom half with a minitank for good 
         measure, no one will notice
< rmmh> "the slits both increase sex appeal and provide convenient firing
        ports"
%
< xenu> Grinnz: in poland we have a problem with a very similar plant 
              named sosnowski's hogweed
< xenu> its popular name is "stalin's revenge"
< Grinnz> this type of shit should be not allowed to leave australia
%
<scrottie> stupid is always hiring even if the pay ain't great.
%
< AdrianO> whew. safe from football for another 4 years
< Rosemary> you know about the European Championship right? :P
< AdrianO> ...
< AdrianO> bother.
%
<@gwern> hah. people on twitter are butthurt about the cow paper.
%
<@mst> > A HUMAN BEING SHOULD BE ABLE TO TWIT A HOT TAKE, MOCK A BLUECHECK,
       POAST A FEEL, SAVE A SCREENCAP, DERAIL A THREAD, ARGUE IRONICALLY,
       TROLL EFFICIENTLY, GET BANNED GALLANTLY. SPECIALIZATION IS FOR NORMIES
< Filipovic> time enough for irc
%
19:39 < camelia> rakudo-moar 7a7e5e96f: OUTPUT: «geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez␤»
19:39 < TimToady> there we go :)
19:41 < geekosaur> (are you saying you're a geeeeeeeeezer?)
19:45 < TimToady> er...
%
< Burnin8> Brb, eyboard batery problems appear o b occurig
%
< gordonfish> My cat loves to bat around live mice instead of eating them 
              when he finds one
< gordonfish> He does a great job of catching them though
< gordonfish> But most of the time they end up getting away *facepaw*
%
<@cat-xeger> People were astounded to find a stringed instrument hidden 
             within the dry well ...
<@cat-xeger> but it was merely more evidence of the violins inherent in 
             the cistern.
%
<@beetlegeuse> speaking of technology illiterate
<@beetlegeuse> my husband is in the other room trying to figure out
<@beetlegeuse> how to share a blu-ray on the network
<@beetlegeuse> it's been like 18 minutes, and I think I should go rescue him.
%
<@cat-xeger> ods, tried
<@mst> evens, failed
<@perigrin> primes, breadsticks
<@cat-xeger> imaginacyr
%
> always good to know that there are two helicopters circling near
> by, one registered to the department of homeland security and
> the other registered to "Helicopters Inc" and berthed out of
> Fort Meade. HI NSA.
%
<WendyWoolfy> Service message from Princess Seaways ferry
              from IJmuiden to Newcastle. Message for Mr Jeff drforr
              Goff from Mrs Wendy van Dijk: the ladies await your whisky
              tasting skills in Compass Bar on floor 6.
%
< jberger> the notion of routing based Content-Type still strikes me as
           odd but ... its your app
< mst> jberger: he's white, he won't get shot for resisting a REST
<@perigrin> I'm standing my ground against the web server
%
<ilmari> Edinburgh's a lot steeper than Glasgow
%
<@ct> can I blame this on millennials?
<@arcanez> are you standing on your lawn?
<@perigrin> did you miss his dissertation last month?
<@ct> "My lawn and your proximity to it: A Dissertation"
%
<errietta> so i'm putting stuff together for my team on running their stuff
<errietta> nobody else wanted to dig
<errietta> i'm like, i came from shadowcat, i'm used to digging how shit 
           works with no info
%
< Fusxfaranto> tiny brain: drugs are bad / regular brain: buy nootropics 
               from sketchy websites / giant brain: buy nootropics from 
               sketchy websites, but test them on your cat first
%
< simcop2387> i can't figure out how an installer could use that much ram 
              even if it was written in java
< thrig> python, so I didn't look and increased the memory until the 
         install didn't crash out
%
<@mst> ... fucking spammers.
 * mst abuses PAUSE admin powers
<@mst> now I have three accounts!
<@alh> You mistakenly take over ETHER. Suffer 20d40 maintenance damage
%
< Obormot\Sirius> And just today I was baking some cookies and I thought, 
                  you know what this disgustingly archaic excuse for an 
                  "oven" can't do? Segfault! It can't segfault. Repulsive!
%
<mst> dark forest cake: if you tell anybody where the cake is, they blow it up
<gwern> 'three suns summer cake': you throw it in the oven for a while
        and check back; every few times, it's burnt to a crisp
%
<Hazelesque> so it's merely "fucking stupid" rather than "criminal 
             financial negligence"
%
<@sungo> oh well thank eris we had a test making sure /feedback was 
         inacessible to unauthed people
 * sungo sets himself on fire
%
< vague> Or maybe that means my balls are already skeletons
%
< Logos01> Greetings, programs!
 * mst segfaults
< Logos01> Well, shit. 
 * Logos01 sends a last lonely Ack to mourn mst's loss
%
< mst> wait, you actually read the channel topic?
 * mst falls over
< alh> CAREFUL OF YOUR HIP
%
< karjala_> cancel this
< karjala_> I made another mistake that caused this
 * lnation often talks through his problems aloud which helps to solve 
    them, then wonders why everyone at the bar has moved to the other side.
%
< LeoNerd> Any suggestion what font I need for SKULL ?
%
< masochist> there are some yoga poses I want to explore sometime that 
             are very much "forehead near peehole"
%
17:20  * pirateFinn screams to music that combines the vocals of Back in Black 
          with A Thousand Miles https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqiHiMuEkes
17:20 < TBSliver> how much am I going to hate you for this?
17:21  * TBSliver shoots pirateFinn in the head
%
08:56 <@sri> well shit, my first flight is indefinitely delayed
12:43 <@sri> stuck in amsterdam now
13:23 <@sri> new plane is broken... rebooked on yet another later flight
13:32 < jberger> sri: couldn't you just swim?
%
< bigpresh> Do those messages get compiled into the binary then?
< mquin> yes
< bigpresh> :|
 * bigpresh puts on the pillock hat.
%
<@ct> I suspect that even then it's not supposed to be there
<@vmbrasseur> I suspect your suspicion is correct.
<@perigrin> I supect her suspicion about your suspect suspicion is crap 
            now I'm lost ... 
%
 * AppStore puts up a sign saying "free bleach" and watches the cultural 
    problem that is C solve itself. 
%
<@vmbrasseur> I love the show, and I love musicals, but even I won't pay 
              those prices.
<@perigrin> we spent ... 300 something on kinky boots 
<@perigrin> (they set off my outfit perfectly)
%
< pirateFinn> "$application is a Angular & React application" BUT WHY
< pirateFinn> "React renders the view layer for the modules" BUT YOU HAVE 
              THE ANGULAR FOR THAT
< pirateFinn> STOP MAKING JENGA WITH DYNAMITE
%
< mst> "more stuff" is not a useful git commit message
< errietta> mst: `git commit -m "who gives a shit"`
< masochist> the axe murderer who is also your maintenance programmer
< errietta> masochist: i think mst is more of a chainsaw than axe person
%
< xenu> i think it's problematic, it starts innocently with "es6 is not 
        that bad thanks to the addition of block scoping" but in no time 
        it will turn into "hitler did nothing wrong"
< xenu> it's a slippery slope
%
<@chargrill> we 're-branded' one of our sub businesses, so to celebrate 
             they gave all employees a nice little branded moleskine.
<@perigrin> Was the mole still in it?
%
< masochist> status.slack.com, of course, disagrees with you
< mst> status.slack.com can go fuck a goat
< masochist> that's probably what its problem is
< mst> goat 2 considered harmful?
%
< pink_mist> >_<
< pink_mist> I hate perl
< pink_mist> I'm just going to go drink myself unconscious and hope I 
             forget this last half hour
%
 * quicksilver is refactoring the bookcases
< quicksilver> with a jig-saw
< quicksilver> it's quite a noisy kind of refactoring
< errietta> quicksilver: sounds like the refactoring mst does
%
< e> i think i'll attempt to find somewhere more hip in a year or two
< e> somewhere where i'm not the most obviously weird person on my team,
     at least
< mst> I ... don't think I've ever achieved that
%
<@rasputozen> i almost never use tmux splits
<@rasputozen> i use vim splits way more
<+mst> rasputozen: xterm, dtach, ex-vi, job control
<@rasputozen> mst: never heard of ex-vi
%
< jberger> sigh, unicode
< mst> ([B/w 4
< jberger> if that was intended as mojibake, it was well executed and humorous
< mst> ... I'm just gonna pretend it was, then.
%
<@mst> I like that touch id can register (a) cat's paws (b) flaccid human
       penises                                                            
<@ct> mst: your use case is way different than mine :/A
%
< RiversHaveWings> oh... water.weather.gov says the specific flood gauge
                   in question is currently underwater
< quanticle> The flood gauge... is flooded.
< Betawolf> flood level: ERR:overflow.
%
< Erasmus> you are the biggest fucking piece of shit
< Erasmus> I have ever fuckign met
< Erasmus> no wonder everyone fuckign hates your fucking guts
< Erasmus> you little fuckign shrimp dicked authoritarian ass fucking hole
%
<@bipolarbear> VAGINA PRINT ACCEPTED: ALL ACCESS GRANTED
%
< errietta> https://github.com/hyperbudget/elastic-indexer
              /commit/f0695e52644021864f95d22d2100e25ccabc4ee9
< errietta> raedme.md
< errietta> # nailed it
%
< LeoNerd> The complicated part was where perl's own debugging only tells me
           the leak comes from  Perl_newSVsv. Well, yes..I could have guessed
           that. What called /that/? I need the C version of caller()
< LeoNerd> man 3 backtrace  if you want spoilers ;)
%
< mquin> professionalism: friend is watching web server logs, so his
         colleagues have been sending requests with insults tacked onto
         the end of the urls
%
< mst> but is it synergistic, cloud native and web scale?
< ChoHag> Yes yes and yes.
< ChoHag> That's why it went down.
%
 * Obormot\Gaia facepalms infinitely hard, thus collapsing local spacetime
%
<@mst> .oO "foreskin origami"
< cat-xeger> When attached or removed?
<@ether> :X
 * sungo emerges
%
< dax> i'd just like to interject for a moment. what you're refering to
       as London is, in fact, GNU/London, or as I've recently taken to
       calling it, GNU+London
< Fuchs> /kill dax no
%
< ttkp> my wife observed that "lolololol" looks like a row of people
        drowning, and now I can't not see it
%
<@ether> I knew you would say that and I was already getting irritated at
         you for it before you did so
%
14:53 < ivan> government is kidnapping me for jury duty this morning (at the
              same time that I go fall asleep)
14:53 < ivan> there is no "fuck you I want to sleep" exemption
19:04 < ivan> This is worse than I imagined
%
<Kassandry> Goddamnit. How did the cat get hair in my bourbon?
%
< simple> i'm not sure how i feel about Test::Mock::Simple
< simple> either mock me or not
%
< xenu> but what if my exception objects are false?
< mst> xenu: then fuck you
< LeoNerd> xenu: then I will shoot you :P
< haarg> what mst said
%
< sungo> of course, it only counts as a capital-D Disorder if it fucks
         with your life in a negative fashion. Otherwise it falls under
         "obsessive compulsive traits" aka "congrats. your job title is
         probably 'sysadmin'"
%
< Dorward> We've come up with a solution to the terrible state of Node.js ORMs
< Dorward> We need to get mst addicted to JS so he'll port DBIC
%
< LeoNerd> "Give me ISO8601 or give me death"
...
< LeoNerd> date            =       day month year
< LeoNerd> ^-- DEATH
%
<@ether> SICP++
<@mst> I don't think I got that far through SICP
<@mst> enjoyed paul graham's On Lisp a lot more
<@ether> "my god, it's full of cars"
%
< ChoHag> You're on DOS.
< ChoHag> Everything that could go wrong already has.
%
<@sungo> I'm poly in my lawn nakedness thank you very much
%
< kd> I think I am still married for three reasons.  Firstly we are able 
      to have conversations interesting conversations about maths despite 
      my near total ignorance, and secondly because I have not yet bought 
      a set of bagpipes
%
10:08 < Loki42> mst: energy drinks and coffee.  booting in progress plz wait
10:09 < mst> |======                       |
10:55 < Loki42> |===============100%============|
10:55 < Loki42> recovery complete, brain now accepts connections
%
< pirateFinn> "Everyone is a squirter if you cut the right artery"
< pirateFinn> And so, mass confusion over period sex occurred.
%
< quanticle> mst: You are why we can't have nice things :D
%
< marcusr> If anyone in europe wants stickers, you can send me an envelope
           with stamps too.
< marcusr> My address is Marcus Ramberg, Motbakkene 1b, 0687 Oslo
< marcusr> Mailbombs will be returned to sender.
%
< sungo> poettering could probably find some way to fuck up a lightbulb
< sungo> When he flips the wall switch, a bulb in a different room lights
         up and snakes fall out of the one in the bathroom. If the weather
         turns warmer than normal, the outlet in kitchen spews out sand
%
(Canada just legalized cannabis)
< ether> some enterprising Girl Guide sold out of dozens of boxes of 
         cookies in less than an hour by selling down the queue of people 
         at a weed store on Day One
%
< Obormot\Gaia> Yes! Exactly
< Obormot\Gaia> The problem is that some people are fucking doormats
< Obormot\Gaia> (That apology didn't end up going *quite* as planned... >_> )
%
 * ilmari made errietta run away with code _again_ :(
< errietta> ilmari: it was MATHS
%
<@sungo> the new apple HQ features mist equipment in every conference 
         room, gently spraying participants with mescaline
%
< kd> this is awesome
< kd> it's like an industrial grade needle finder for a needle in a 
      haystack made of sacrificed goats and chickens
%
< ilmari> mst: what does the s stand for?
< kd> shithead?
 * mst eyes kd, hefts chainsaw
 * kd sews head back on
%
< Finn> Yeah his idea of healthy debate is like going into a conversation
        with a vuvuzela and saying the aliens are coming
< Finn> The thing is, he scared off the aliens and they decided invading Earth
        wasn't worth it after hearing his screaming from light years away 
%
< HaraldJoerg> I find it really hard to believe that this causes so much 
               of a drama
< El_Che> Hi HaraldJoerg, I see you're new. We play Bingo on thursday.
%
< Logos01> Ways to offend possibly everyone who labels themselves as a 
           connisseur:  Offer up fine-quality teas ... as mixers for 
           fine-quality whiskeys.
< Logos01> (Golden monkey tea + Monkey Shoulder,  for example)
%
<GeekRuthie> your mind is like a bag of angry cats.
<GeekRuthie> I swear, if the universities want to study chaos theory, they
             need to send grad students to follow you around taking notes.
<GeekRuthie> Carefully, with camouflage, so you don't eat them.
%
<lucidian> I wonder if there's a lot of people doing #NoShaveNovember 
           *and* #NoNutNovember *and* nanowrimo
<lucidian> I guess if they're not shaving or masturbating, they'll have 
           more time to write their novels
%
<+El_Che> we're so fucked when mst becomes the voice of reason
%
< toecheese> i think my nick name is making me feel ill
%
<triddle-work> I got handed surprise docker containers out of nowhere, 
               like someone cuming in your mouth with out warning
<triddle-work> fucking rude
%
< mst> Grinnz: 'cp -a' is a better backup approach IME
< Grinnz> putting your code in git is a better backup approach
< mst> Grinnz: and then 'cp -a' to back up your .git
< Grinnz> where's the emoji for "what the fuck"
%
< masochist> this makes me sda.
< masochist> sad, too
< masochist> fuck you I am not a Linux disk drive
%
< namespace> O_o
< namespace> What the fucking-
< namespace> I don't even want to know.
 * namespace closes IRC tab
%
-!- masochist is now known as thoth
< thoth> useless use of cat
-!- thoth is now known as masochist
 * sungo tazes masochist 
%
< feep> also you should get him into rationality
< feep> we have all the answers
< feep> though usually the answers take the form of "that's just the sort 
        of thing that hydrogen does when you let it sit for too long"
%
< LeoNerd> Ooh, I hadn't noticed... I have the RT bug number 123465
< LeoNerd> So close
%
<@alh> Hmm. Rubbed my eye just now. Might have oil from hot pepper from lunch
       on my fi-- OH FUCK YES I DO
<@alh> alskdjf;alsjkf
%
<mst> quote from Cay t'other day
<mst> "you never seem to express most emotions. I don't remember ever seeing
       you be anything except calm, happy or angry"
<sungo> there are other emotions?
%
<@cat-xeger> Something is making noises I really hope are from some 
             exterior vibration ... if it's internal, I've got epileptic 
             rodents the size of capybaras somewhere.
%
< mst> n-gate is *wonderful*
< mst> "opinions are those of your employer"
 * namespace hates n-gate
< mst> see, it's even endorsed by the 'namespace has terrible taste' rule
%
< LeoNerd> Ooooh and .pmc files, yes
< LeoNerd> But apart from .pm files, .pmc files, the road system, public 
           sanitation and works of culture, what have the Romans ever.. er..
< LeoNerd> wait hang on
%
<@ilmari> oops, what happened to lunch?
<@LeoNerd> What is lunch? (Baby don't hurt me...)
<@ilmari> s/hurt/eat/ ?
<@ilmari> I'd do anything for lunch, but I won't do that.
%
<nox> There is Japanese porn out there specifically about eye bukkake and 
      the fact that I know that makes me want to die.
%
<Kassandry> Fuck, I have no desk bourbon/whisky/whiteboard cleaner to get 
            that image out of my head.
%
 * cat-xeger attempts to explain "my food" to her cats.
%
< Obormot> Who gives a shit about these dog shows, anyway
< Obormot> Westminster? Where even is that? Probably not even America
< Obormot> ... it's here in New York?! Who allowed this!
%
<@gwern> (the reason Paypal can freeze your account with impunity is 
         because back in 1999, they declared Paypal infallibility)
%
< shmem> I may not call any colleague an asshole. Instead, I must call 
         assholes colleagues. duh.
%
<@mst> "actually reading the error message" seems to be a superpower.
<@mako132> all error messages should include a pre-built lmgtfy link
<@sungo> and actually link to a search of goat anuses
%
< pink_mist> I think it's recommended to run geordi in a docker container
< mst> surely if it's called 'geordi' it would work better with a hyper visor
%
<@gwern> I'm glad that the wordbreak hyphens don't show up in copy-paste. 
         I was so pessimistic I had to check just now
<@gwern> 'it would be idiotic for the browser to do that...BUT IT'S A BROWSER'
%
< haarg> what didn't work?
<@mst> the thing. with the stuff.
< mohawk> mst - at my increasingly advanced age, i'm starting to think 
          the thing is fundamentally incompatible with the stuff
%
<ilbelkyr> (Baldur's Gate in general is full of quotable stuff. And don't even
           ask about the one where the protagonist gets fed up and describes
           by very flavorful means just exactly how an annoying NPC may go
           fuck off. That one is still among my favorites)
%
< ChoHag> I just try to be portable where I can.
< ChoHag> It's always nice to be able to tell users of your product that 
          while of course they can use a database they can use mysql 
          instead if they really want to.
%
< DHFG> my footlong full of meat is gonna be great going down
<@mst> I bet you say that to all the boys
 * DHFG wipes chin.
< DHFG> I almost got 5 guys, but damn does that get sloppy
%
16:56 -!- blackswan has joined #perl
17:00 < blackswan> hi. i had a stupid question but i didn't realize how stupid 
                   it was until i tried to type it. thank you.
%
< LeoNerd> Give me some bisect tools
< mst> you can bisect a laptop pretty efficiently with an axe
< thrig> or table saw
< thrig> table saws also have use in SQL, I am told
%
< errietta> got .travis-ci.yml right the first time
< errietta> i should buy a lottery ticket next
< errietta> ofc saying that means i borked everything now :D
< mst> \o/
%
< Kincaid> either the lads n lasses down at the pub are *really* off 
           their faces on jaeger tonight, or there's geese on the lawn
%
< jberger> its a lot harder to get open source stuff done these days
< mst> best start sterilising our contributors. it's the only way to be sure.
< LeoNerd> *shrug*
< LeoNerd> Not like *I'm* likely to have kids anyway...
%
 * ilmari giggles at the designation for Amazon Linux AMI Security 
    Advisories: ALAS-<yyyy>-<nnnn>
%
<Kassandry> Damnit. Now I look at all of the cardboard boxes that things 
            come in as roach material.
<Kassandry> There's something darkly ironic about using the nicotine 
            tablet box to roach up a spliff for yourself for later.
%
<taw> and we put those pictures in that PR thread knowing full well 
      that the author responsible for that code was still actively 
      watching the repository
<taw> as a "fuck you"
%
< ChoHag> Until you've had feedback, "experimental as fuck" is all you've got
 * ChoHag has never had anybody say of a 0.01 "fuck yes! That's exactly right!
    Do that but do it properly".
< simcop2387> ChoHag: sounds like my sex life.
%
<quicksilver> today I learn something truly awesome
<quicksilver> there is a your mom joke in shakespeare
<quicksilver> Chiron: Thou hast undone our mother
<quicksilver> Aaron: Villain, I have done thy mother
%
<mst> I still remember my father being stopped for speeding
<mst> "sir, did you realise you were going 94 mph?"
<mst> "actually, I thought I was going 100"
<mst> officer blinks a couple times, issues a warning
%
< ChoHag> ffs I didn't expect to be right.
%
<kd> today is one of those days where my background in mental health is useful
<kd> it turns out that handling people with serious devops skills is 
     somewhat similar to working in an acute psych ward
%
<pirateFinn> and that's when my hand went through my face because they 
             missed the point so hard it shot a seagull out the sky
%
< El_Che> LeoNerd: are you sipping on a cup of tea when you say that?
< LeoNerd> I am British
< LeoNerd> It is reasonable to imagine I am sipping on a cup of tea 
           _most_ of the time
%
< Kassandry> I will take systemd over spending eight hours out in the fucking
             cold, boiling water, unsticking the sheep from the ice, and
             stopping them lying back down in the freezing puddles. Though I
             will say that sheep are generally smarter than the average dev.
%
< kd> question:  why do rutting male goats smell strongly of goat's milk?
< mdk> kd: because goat's semen is indistinguishable from goat's milk. 
       It's why the cheese is so creamy, crumbly and salty
< Mithaldu_> ... why did i have to check into the channel at this time
%
<sobel> heck, you don't even need postgres. i've been squeaking by on 
        mysql all year. been thinking about a blog post...
<sobel> by squeaking, i guess i mean whining piteously to all who would listen
%
< simcop2387> pink_mist: baby clouded leopard.  
              https://i.imgur.com/qrtZTlo.gifv
< huf> looks undercooked
%
< ChoHag> https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-02-19/beware-of-buy
          ing-young-people-s-blood-to-prevent-aging-fda-says
< sungo> to think, I've been grinding up all those children for nothing
< sungo> I mean, apart from the joy of feeding children to a wood chipper
%
< Kassandry> You look well and truly pained there.
< Kassandry> Like someone hit you in the bollocks with your own dead dog.
%
< nox> I don't drink much nowadays but a fun anecdote of mine is that I 
       once threw up in a garbage can in a police station in Hiroshima 
       and the cops applauded.
%
< sungo> I've got thoughts on curing cancer now
< mst> murder everything that can get cancer?
< sungo> with fire
< ChoHag> Can I be in charge?
%
<@gwern> kuudes, I'm not a Silver Age villain
<@gwern> do you really think I'd monologue about WL if there was anything 
         you could do about it? I *did it* half an hour ago
%
< simcop2387> i still want to make a remote controlled whaling ship that 
              can pull in a trout onto the deck
< thrig> does mst get that close to the sea?
%
< markfowler> Once I remember writing a spec for CSV files sent to us 
              that specified they had to start with a UTF8 BOM.  Not 
              because we couldn't cope without it, but because it told us 
              if they'd read the spec
%
< thrig> no Bond, I expect you to use autodie
%
< kd> it's alive!
< mst> ...
< mst> whatever it is
 * mst shoots it, just in case
%
< errietta> my boss was complaining that one of his talks had auto 
            subtitles that were gibberish
< errietta> i tried it on one of my talks
< errietta> it was gibberish except it thought it was dutch gibberish
%
< pink_mist> and really, stop mentioning prototypes
< pink_mist> it's like mentioning the war to germans
%
<errietta> a deer walks out of a gay bar
<errietta> > man i cant believe i blew 50 bucks in there
%
< genio> Atlassian has again amazed me at the stupid
%
< xq> I see that there are 3 RFCs and they say slightly different things
< xq> and then there is internet explorer
< xq> bah
< xq> I'll take your word for it
%
< Logos01> Fecking self-taming animals in RimWorld. No, ostrich, I do not 
           want you. Stop eating my potatoes.
< Logos01> Update: I slaughtered that head-ducking megalocephalic chicken
           like my future hope of orgasms depended on it.
%
< Obormot> I don't know why! I tested all this bullshit! But hey, whatever.
           No plan survives contact with the actual fucking interwebs
%
<@ct> 45L is big enough to smuggle a reasonably sized toddler
%
< errietta> i mean
< errietta> i've had all  my vaccines and i'm-
< errietta> oh.
< errietta> nevermind.
%
 * ilmari tried to portmanteau dong damage into dongmage, but that's a 
    completely different class
< mst> ilmari: "come here, little girl, and let me show you my magic wand"
< ilmari> s/d"/g"/
%
<kbk> Sift the twos and sift the threes, / in the Sieve of Eratosthenes, /
      And when the multiples sublime / The numbers that remain are prime!
%
< Obormot> Maybe y'all need to get better monitors / operating systems / eyes
< MarkOtaris> what eyes do you recommend purchasing
< Obormot> MarkOtaris: I got mine custom-grown, bespoke, at a 
           local provider. I'm sure you wouldn't know it
%
< PavelB> (I say "worked with", more like "saw and then noped the fuck out")
%
<mst> scala code in a blog post: trait Console[F[_]] {
      def putStrLn(line: String): F[Unit] def getStrLn: F[String] }
<mst> my brain: "unwrap F to play effects"
<ilmari> *grone* eff off!
%
< Botje> "pull this github project, fix the bug and make a pull request"
< integral> and on day 1 you find out the "legacy" code isn't on github yet
< Botje> what are you talking about? it's the repository with one commit 
         containing a zip file.
%
<@sungo> it's all awful
<@hobbs> it's software
<@sungo> by PEOPLE
%
< Fuchs> I am always serious and never joking
< Fuchs> I am swiss, we don't even allow jokes 
%
< ggreer> it's salesforce's 20th anniversary party
< ggreer> I know this because I work next to salesforce tower and they 
          are having a concert
< ggreer> this won't be my most productive day
%
< sobel> weeeeiiiiird, not a single JIRA with my name assigned to it
< capitol> master has given dobby a sock, dobby is free
%
< thrig> it keeps your server racks cool and/or sprays leaking water onto them
< buu> isn't that how you cool down racks?
< Grinnz> you mean all the stuff that's replaced by the cloud now?
< xenu> well, broken AC can make your datacenter serverless
%
< El_Che> honestly, the old platform support discussion in Perl 5 is
          equivalent to the cyclic naming discussion in the Perl 6 community
< simcop2387> El_Che: no, you're a parrot
< El_Che> simcop2387: don't beat a dead pony
%
< tm604> that's okay, arithmetic is poorly defined on country objects anyway
< thrig> and now we compute the Lebensraum functor, and apply ...
%
< mst> huh, RHEL8 removes docker in favour of their own tools
< thrig> I can hardly contain my enthusiasm
%
< Obormot> (Goddamn that drop-cap is beautiful)
< mst> .oO "I wonder if this is the only way Obormot can get off"
<@gwern> mst: we'll only need to worry when Obormot makes 'These Dropcaps 
         Do Not Exist' and buys a bigger monitor
%
<errietta> the battery is definitely fine
<errietta> i tested it with my tongue
<errietta> *licks* ... nom
<errietta> *bzzz* ... *ow*
%
< ttkp> "bi-parmesan" makes me think of "Keiserinna" cheese from Finland which
        I thought was an edam but is actually a blend of gouda and parmesan
< ttkp> it's still one of the best edams I've ever tasted, despite not 
        being edam at all
%
< hobbs> leitz: yes but please write "$this->($that)" instead
< mst> leitz: I would write it as ... what hobbs said.
< pink_mist> yeah, what hobbs said
< mst> WE TELL YOU THREE TIMES
%
 * ether mutters I guess I'll set the building on fire
<@sungo> with alh tied to the radiator? how rude
%
< mst> congratulations, you actually did break the compiler
< Grinnz> indirect object syntax strikes again
< gordonfish> That explains the burning smell
%
<@alh> Are any of those links SFW
<@chargrill> yes
<@sungo> but we're not telling you which one
%
< Gustavo6046> My point is, (15,-3).
%
<@customer> I'm dating them so my devops guy knows to smoketest 
            with a new one when it is available
<@mst> he doesn't know how to use 'git log' ?
<@customer> I don't know how to use git log :man-shrugging:
%
07:59 -!- Penfold [~mike@81.2.66.248] has left #chat [Leaving]
08:00 -!- Penfold [~mike@81.2.66.248] has joined #chat
08:00 < Penfold> ENOTTHATBUTTONYOUPILLOCK
%
< mst> quicksilver: surely appropriating NZ culture would require 
       attempting to stick your dick in it first
< pirateFinn> and i love it
< pirateFinn> that was a badly timed IRC message
%
 * LeoNerd finds a code comment
< LeoNerd> "it may be found elsewhere for which this code is unsafe, but 
           detecting such cases is generally impossible. Good luck"
< LeoNerd> Oh, thanks past self. :/
%
<@mst> it's going to be weird in a couple decades when alh's kids aren't 
       underage anymore but he still is
<@alh> They'll be able to buy me alcohol so win
%
< Logos01> Re: "Date Arab Girls!" -- I live in Salt Lake City, and I 
           cannot help but notice: we have our own breed of totalitarian 
           religious intolerance here.
< Logos01> AND THEY DO NOT MIX
%
< ChoHag> errietta: Do you have to worry about buying food?
< errietta> i worry about everything
< errietta> \o/
< ChoHag> I know but do you have to?
%
19:55 < ChoHag> What the actual fuck?
...
20:17 < ChoHag> Ah HAH. Escapes.
20:17 < ChoHag> NEED MOAR BACKSLASH.
%
<@cat-xeger> ... and I've just discovered that I sound like a frog when I talk
<@cat-xeger> (I mean, yeah, sore throat, but hadn't realized it was that bad)
<@mst> cat-xeger: I guess you sound ribbitculous
<@cat-xeger> more gravelicious
%
< errietta> jesus christ how long does this repository take to clone
< mst> 3 days. hence jesus christ
< errietta> that checks out tbh
< ChoHag> ... eventually
%
< triddle> I really liked his analysis of willy wonka and the chocolate 
           factory: you get at least 20 years in prison for killing a 
           blond girl but it's just a couple years if you illegally 
           import an entire race of midgets
%
14:49  * thrig eyes a postgres setup script that copies in pg_hba.conf then 
          deletes that file to run initdb
14:51 < thrig> ... which then fails because postgres wasn't running (if it is 
               running, a previous step fails out)
%
< judd996> We have a sat antenna controller protocol that was supposed to be
           JSON, but is just enough different that any JSON parser won't work.
           We call it JSNOZ
%
<@hide> genehack: I’ll have IRC access and know you by site. I arrive 
        Friday morning.
<@mst> which site? okcupid, grindr, or fetlife?
<@hide> Would “yes” be the wrong answer here?
%
< Houshalter> if the money is invested properly you can get a dog dynasty
<@gwern> Houshalter: I think that might not be allowed, actually
< mst> but but but DOG DYNASTY
<@saturn2> wake up, dogs can't melt steel beams
%
<mst> 3 layer subselect!
<mohawk> we'd 'ave THROWN EXCEPTIONS to 'ave only 3 when i were a lad!
<mst> ORDER BY UPHILL BOTH WAYS
%
< s0ph1a> bitch pls, i was an incel for many years before i transitioned 
          (and remembered i'm bi )
%
<@alh> Bah, my amex got popped recently
<@mst> I've never heard it called *that* before
<@alh> It's hard, has lots of value, lots of bad people want to get their 
       hands on it
%
03:13 <@JohnMH> mst is a cop magnet
03:13 < Maatkare> Guess so ha
03:13 < Maatkare> They must like his accent
03:13 <@JohnMH> it's the hair
%
< pink_mist> no need for use IO::Handle (); unless you're on a rather old perl
< mst> genio toils in the unmaintainium mines
< genio> it's a lonely job. I'll likely have to live out my mid-elder years
         in an iron lung from breathing in all of the dirty particles
%
# get_results_with_step_back that works properly with filters
# I don't want to modify the old codebase one because I don't have a deathwish

sub get_results_with_step_back {
%
< ChoHag> What is it about geeks and exaggerations?
< ilmari> ChoHag: this is a hive of scum and pedantry
%
<eijebong> C'est à cause de la recherche tout le js nan ?
<eijebong> Woups, this isn't a french channel
<nox> It's a complaining channel,
<nox> so in some way it's a French channel.
%
< huf> so it turns out there's not much point to ... | tee > file
< mst> | cat | cat | cat | cat >file
 * ilmari reports mst to the rspca
< lopid> feline centipede
%
< mst> well, porting the Mouse accessor system to Moo would be doable
< mst> but nobody's done that yet
< LeoNerd> "mouse accessor system" == cat?
< mst> *facepalm*
%
< ChoHag> errietta: I have a lot of experience with being unable to 
          sleep. In my experience there are only two solutions: Always 
          wake up at *exactly* the same time, or drink until you pass out.
< ChoHag> Only the latter can beat a 9PM coffee.
%
<@mst> my favourite layer 1 failure was "somebody filled a wheelie bin half
       full of petrol, lit it, waited for it to get decently hot, and then
       tipped it down a fibre bundle intersection and slagged the lot"
 * Grinnz waits for internal translation matrix to finish, then lols
%
<@alh> "What are you most proud of in the last 6 months?"
<@alh> That I haven't succumbed to a drinking problem due to the stress 
       of maintaining a job to provide for a family
<@alh> ... through probably only because I'm not allowed to drink yet
%
< ilmari> tfw the deployment documentation is ~/.bash_history
%
< dakkar> I was looking at AsyncAwait, and I noticed that it does 
          *something* to the call stack
< dakkar> I'm still not sure what ☺
< LeoNerd> \vaguecatmeme{}
%
18:09 < mohawk> consarnit
18:09 < mohawk> implementing that'll take whole minutes
18:16 < mohawk> 7, in fact
%
< Obormot\Arcturus> Whoaaa I think I just discovered a weird CSS thing
<@gwern> no!
< feep> is it .... css
%
< xiaomiao> if json is the better alternative I demand to get drunk
%
 * gwern is still unaccountably amused by discussions of french terrorism 
    like the 'Nice promenade truck massacre' - yeah it was nice but if 
    he'd planned more it could've been a *great* terrorist attack
%
< tom_m> yeah... it's all too easy to end up with select * from x natural 
         join y natural join z natural join massive_audit_table natural 
         join why_is_the_dba_crying order by unindexed_key limit 5
%
< simcop2387> gumbyfucker? BinGOs has a new bot?
%
< Grinnz> I would have considered it a deprecation, though there's unlikely to
          be many users and there's no way to notify the user with a warning
< mst> Grinnz: tie @_ and call the callback with &
 * kraih gets scared and quickly releases a new mojo version
%
Have you been wondering how to give your pet opossum a pedicure, massage or
gourmet meal? Of course you have! No fear: there's someone to help you with
these matters. As you might expect, she's awesome, and loves dead squirrels.
%
<thisisnic> Yorkie busy but fun. Will I likely bump into you briefly later?
<mst> yes. am just about to head to s'bury's then YH
<thisisnic> Wicked, see you in a bit. If I'm drunk and think I've lost my 
            jacket remind me it's in the cellar!
%
< mst> peerce: the A in IoT is for Architecture
< mst> peerce: the S in IoT is for Security
< Widdershins> i thought the S stood for Standardization
< mst> Widdershins: that's the R for RFCs
%
< LeoNerd> If I ever write a module for calculating phases of the moon, 
           by the way, I will have to call it wanings.pm
< LeoNerd> Just to really annoy everyone
%
< ctr> yeah i dealt with amphetamine users 
< ctr> not great
< ctr> so angry
< ctr> just get a heroin addiction liike a normal person
%
< gordonfish> I once encountered a BSD based server that has '*'x8 as the 
              password (yes, 8 asterixes)
< mst> gordonfish: that's just gaulling
 * Grinnz is not sure if that was a pun or the actual British spelling
%
< ggreer> https://hunter2.com/ wow that's an old reference
< mst> does *******.com even resolve?
< quanticle> mst: Of course it does
< quanticle> You just copy and paste
%
18:57 <@gwern> wow, oolong caught a lizard today... who just lost its tail
...
18:58 <@gwern> the tail is still twitching >.<
%
< errietta> the kitchen still smells, now the mop smells, and there's 
            shampoo under the fridge
< errietta> i think this is where i burn the flat down and move out
%
< El_Che> most people that call themselves experts are lying :)
< El_Che> they are lying to themselves or are consultants :)
< mst> El_Che: por que no los dos
< El_Che> mst: my cerebro está conectado en configuración binaria :)
%
< LeoNerd> one-arg open() has its uses ;)
<@mst> open 0, for example, to get a filehandle to the current script
 * Grinnz goes to find the mallet gnomes
%
< Ralith> european economics: there exists a market, therefore we must
          distort it with halfassed redistribution policies
< nshepperd> american economics: there exists a market, therefore we 
             must distort it with halfassed monopolist protections
%
< quicksilver> someone just opened a bottle of beer on the ceiling of
               this train
< quicksilver> neat
%
< Logos01> Oh dear. Just watched a youtube video on "The Satanic Panic". There
           was a youtube comment that was actually worth reading on it.
< Logos01> "If you listen to a Nickelback album backwards, you hear satanic
           messages. Even worse, if you play it forwards you hear Nickelback."
%
< errietta> *lifts frying pan*
< errietta> *foom*
< errietta> *AAAAA*
%
< Kassandry> WTF. Emojis. 
< triddle> emojikake
< Kassandry> I didn't consent to this!
< mst> Kassandry: 2019 hid the bell.
%
<@sungo> it's a video turned into a gif. it's 2019. 
<@chargrill> the future is now
<@mst> the future is here, it is drunk, and it is best not to make eye contact
<@sungo> mst: you are not the future
%
< feep> we expected computers to overtake us
< feep> we did not expect it to be by means of us becoming retarded
< feep> and yet-- ice cream.
%
< rivyn> Bring back Alpha. :(
< mst> insist on your right to bare ARMs
< rivyn> bare arms get sunburn.  I prefer to bear arms :P
< mst> you can only shoot so many chip designers before you need to reload
%
< Obormot\Arcturus> Is that the only way to have a good discussion about 
                    this? Literally just talking to myself in public like 
                    a crazy person?
<@gwern> that sounds a lot like having a blog
%
< mst> then because it was manchester and canal street every time I wandered
       out for a smoke I won a free twink and had to beat them off with a
       (metaphorical) stick
< ilbelkyr> you know it's mst talking because he has to specify "metaphorical"
%
< triddle> I feel let down, there was a video called "the truth about 
           tesla batteries" and it's just about how good they are
< triddle> if a title starts with "the truth about" the last thing I expect
           is the truth or for it to be good for who ever it's about
%
< Mithaldu_> your code has a unique shape
< Mithaldu_> like a very dense cactus
%
<@teejay> I might end up being really boring and getting a T series thinkpad
<@teejay> it will go nicely with the other IT contractor cliches like
          collecting receipts, staying in cheap hotels, and being
          white/male/bald/40
%
 * Zr40 started running outside again
< kwispel> ha, running is the new coffee
 * sobel only runs with scissors
< mst> I've always found it safer to leave scissoring to the WLW crowd
%
 * nshepperd_ was not aware of any cunnilingus in _khubla khan_
%
< thrig> you might think the Imperial forces might skimp on having trash 
         compactors near the detention block
< gordonfish> I'm surprised they didn't have incinerators instead, though 
              that might have resulted in a much shorter franchise
%
 * PanicAngel glances at the URL above and sees "Army veteran attacked 
    milkshake outside polling station" ... removing the little words 
    creates some bizarre headlines
< Neth> it was bringing too many boys to the yard.
%
< kraih> mst: wtf?
< kraih> also, you
< kraih> argh
%
 * gwern thinks he's found a serious bug in his dog cloning code -_-
%
<@gwern> anyway I realized with a slight tweak to my special forces dog 
         cloning, I can get the success rates up massively
%
< ChoHag> I... It just makes no sense.
< ChoHag> I want a better universe than this.
< triddle> oh shit I see the problem
< triddle> you still have hope
%
< thrig> disco is back... no wait, the switch just rebooted to 1970
%
 * genio glares in Spanish
%
< Kassandry> Fly your freak flag high.
< ChoHag> Flag?
< Kassandry> You have to have a flag. Or the British will claim you.
%
< ilmari> yeah, but a _Pair had damn well better only be two items
< ilmari> if someone goes constructing bogus _Pair objects themselves (there
          isn't even a ->new method), they get to keep all the halves
%
< mst> I mean you could always just implement it using a Dockerfile
< ChoHag> I could.
< ChoHag> But I already occasionally flirt with the idea of death.
%
< quanticle> I remember the last time I was in India, I was on the back 
             of my cousin's motorcycle, and were going down this rather 
             busy 4-lane (or it would be 4-lane if Indian traffic cared 
             for such western decadences as lanes) thoroughfare
%
< triddle> you mean chunks in the wine isn't a good sign?
< ChoHag> It depends how close you are to the end.
< Kassandry> You're not supposed to throw up in the bottle.
%
< Rosemary> I am currently very aware that I have knees but I'm being 
            paid quite a lot to do creative writing and say no to 
            entitled students ;)
%
<@Burrito> maybe we should have redundant cockpits
<@Burrito> 6 pilots, 3 cockpits, plane only does anything if 2 cockpits agree
<@mst> Old and busted: Boing 737 MAX() 
<@mst> New hotness: Boing 737 AVG()
%
< simcop2387> pink_mist: well it is easy to add things to perlbot
< perlbot> simcop2387: Stored pink_mist: well it is easy to add things to
< simcop2387> ....
< mst> perlbot++ # live demo
%
<@mako132> I <3 reading about failure
<@rjbs> me too
<@rjbs> that's why I read your diary
<@mako132> sorry about the sticky pages
%
< xenu> the only letter of 'SOLID' i have no problem with is 'L'
< mst> most software I work on is more SOILED
< tm604> I'm generally not wild about using the bristol scale as the 
         foundation of all software architecture
%
< genio> In Windows. you can only turn the microphone off/on. and why the
         hell is cortana listening to everything I say by default?
< huf> how else could it turn the microphone on when you tell it to?
< huf> please at least try to think stuff through
%
<@sungo> I nearly died in AK because K said "you up for a 5 mile hike" and
         failed to mention that it was 5 miles at 60deg up angle over gravel
<@sungo> my apple watch was pretty sure it had been stolen
<@sungo> "this can't be on the same wrist. really, there's no way"
%
 * kraih is old fashioned, my vacuum robot doesn't have wifi
%
< Logos01> Though to be fair they do appear to have dedicated a significant
           portion of the station to arborculture/hydroponics for o2 cycling.
< Logos01> And definitely none of that was used to grow coffee.
< Logos01> (Because that would be against station regulations.)
%
< phaylon> timebot: at 2019-16-14 18:00 <client>:trying out more direct
                       legacy code insanity:60
-!- timebot [~timebot@timebot.shadowcat-internal.shadowcat.uk0.bigv.io] quits
< phaylon> well, that went well :)
%
< Kassandry> Did you just suggest that some be *less* autistic in here? 
             Are you going to ask people to drink less in here next?
%
< mst> I am now really confused what we're doing wrong
< tomaw> I think it's called javascript
%
< PavelB> Fuck me
< PavelB> I just ran perl -i -pe 's/^\s+//' **/*.cs
< PavelB> Meant to run perl -i -pe 's/^\s+$//' **/*.cs
< mst> that's going to have unindented consequences
%
< triddle> this weekend is ham radio field day and that's a great time to
           run an emergency operation exercise - bbiab disconnecting from
           the power grid
-!- triddle has quit [Remote host closed the connection]
%
<mst> doesn't mean I was right, but I was damn well trying to be
<tomaw> that last line will be in your obituary
%
< thrig> I like it when they install oracle by building in the tarball 
         directory, then putting their production code and data there, too
< tm604> that's perhaps the first time I've ever seen the phrase "I like 
         it when they install oracle"
%
< mst> yeah, this was one of those situations where *I* enjoyed myself 
       but only because of my peculiar ideas of fun ;)
< mdk> Your ideas of fun are still illegal in many countries on this planet :)
%
< fuzzix> You could sing a song to cheer yourself up. A legacy software
          maintenance song. That's what I do - "It was a map, it was a MONSTER
          MAP! A monster map, it had 200 lines, it was a map, it was called in
          void context, a monster map, it modified $_, waa-ooh"
%
< xenu> while ircii and vim have similar learning curve, the difference 
        is when you master ircii you gain absolutely *nothing*
< xq> you get a tool
< xq> which you can use to connect to freenode and ask how to exit vim
%
< macdice> (to be clear, i was a very junior person on that and had no
           architectural role, i was just handed an mqseries manual and
           told to make that data finish up over there please)
%
< daemon> who the hell is chainsaw-weilder
< anno> mst, i think
< daemon> ah makes sense
%
< Obormot\Meil> Hmmm
 * Obormot\Meil tries it
< Obormot\Meil> Yes, that worked and I feel dumb, lol
< Obormot\Meil> The best result I could've hoped for! Thanks :D
%
<LeoNerd> The difference between BDSM and SAX parsers is that in a SAX 
          parser the subs handle the DOM
%
< genio> got it working without systemd. makes a lot more sense
%
<cat-xeger> Blah.  I am -so- not up to debugging why my local net sucks 
            royally right now.
<cat-xeger> ... or maybe it was the cat on the AP ... 
%
< Walther> but yeah technically the goal is to train the model to do a 
           faceswap on cats trailer and a fursuit photo
%
< dakkar> I've just found `123.456.789.012` as an IPv4 address in $work code
< dakkar> and it didn't break anything, because it was actually in a 
          regex / deny-list thing
< hobbs> Maybe they were preparing for IPv5
%
< Obormot> And it's a real problem! You design your UI for elements 
           having nice short English labels like "Tram Stop"...
< Obormot> And then you localize into German and suddenly it's all 
           "Straßenbahnhaltestelle"
%
< mst> lovely
 * ehuelsmann feels sarcasm dripping from the ceiling
< thrig> they're in the walls! </aliens>
%
< thrig> jesus died on the CROSS JOIN for your SQLs
%
< Logos01> Also on /r/FuckImOld
< Logos01> "I told an 18yo the other day that I used to get netflix delivered
            to me in the mail and I'm pretty sure he thought I was lying."
< Logos01> That burns.
%
< xocolatl> violent agreements are the best
< sehrope> xocolatl: No they're the best.
< mst> sehrope: NO! THEY'RE THE BEST!
%
< Logos01> The moral of the story: "Never tell a sadist not to be nice to you."
%
< triddle> i'm basically approaching my rifles with military discipline 
           though it's autodidactic and more beer
%
< xenu> macos updates are so slooooooooooow
< guestkato> it takes time to pack all that value in such thin devices.
< guestkato> and it forces the user to admire how it looks when inert, 
             which is part of the User Experience.
%
< schinckel> "What's a develo press?" "About 40 pounds."
< mst> schinckel: henway
< schinckel> Yeah, most develos can press about 15 henways
%
< pirateFinn> "Country music is just farm emo."
< Penfold> depends on the country: 90s country is 80s rock, with a 
           fiddle; 2010's country is 2000's pop with a banjo :D
%
-!- Topic for #london.pm: Heretical TONIGHT @ Belleville Brewery Tap
17:36 <@DrHyde> ladies and gentlemen, it is time for a piss-up in a brewery
%
@SwiftOnSecurity: I think a lot about how the 'You're Getting A Dell' dude got
                  arrested for pot and it was a major news story.
@JeffBrown781: It was a big story since we were always told pot was a Gateway
               drug.
%
< kd> could youse lovely people fill in <url> for my son's homework please?
< mst> kd: done. though it was awful enough to do that my comment involved
       "ask Kieren Diment who mst is if this comment doesn't make sense"
< kd> text message "dad, who's mst?"
%
< RiversHaveWings> does any irc client actually do anything with @here/@all?
< mst> mine does when it's connected to slack, because I configured it to
< mst> but only on customer slacks where I can bill them for reading it
< Logos01> mst: I was gonna say "rookie move" but ... shoulda known better.
%
< Grinnz> my experience with mysql tells me, if you would assume mysql 
          has a feature, it probably doesn't
%
<mst> "calming the fuck down" is america's dump stat
%
< phaylon> forget WHATWG, we need WHYTHEFUCKWG
%
< nox> "I'm on qwertz" sounds like you are talking about anti-depressants.
< nox> "qwertz 500mg"
< Mithaldu_> i'd think qwertz being the german scheme it would be depressants
< mst> brb writing on my psych med package with a sharpie
%
The #Threadnought: A three-ring circus that happens to be on fire and where
the clowns are running around yelling "throw kerosene on it, it'll help put
it out". The popcorn is free and the clowns are amongst the worst people on
earth. -- @FoogInc on twitter
%
 * huf finds some excellent html, handcrafted with the greatest care, from the
       highest quality bytes: <p>Hello, huf<//p><p><a href=/>Logout<//a><//p>
< Altreus> looks free-range
< Altreus> they didn't even wash it
%
< klaus> at mst and Grinnz oh yea? you know what  i think about your 
         operator status you can shove it up your ass ban me i don't care
-!- mode/#perl [+b *!*klaus@*.w109-208.abo.wanadoo.fr] by mst
< Grinnz> well, he did ask
%
<@mst> also, life's too short to bear grudges.
< thrig> releasing a bear at your grudge might be fun
< genio> what kind of bear? panda? pandas are cute
<@mst> .oO "sungo"
%
< Mithaldu_> this is what happens if your localizers don't actually get to
             play the fucking game because your cheap ass only sent them an
             xls file and a jpg of two raised middle fingers
%
< mst> also at some point I need to figure out how to convince the new 
       hub that alh is old enough to have an O-line
< alh> ;_;
< perigrin> Wait till avi is old enough to vouch for him?
%
< nox> Is there any big game studio whose CEO isn't a colossal ass?
< ChoHag> Well the Japanese aren't all that tall usually.
%
<@cat-xeger> I think my brain has left the building.
<@sungo> mine too. though I think today it never made it inside and 
         instead started a picket line outside objecting to unfair 
         working conditions.
%
< Jonis> veesh: more info? what os, version of postgres etc?
< maschine> http://www.trout.me.uk/data.jpg
< maschine> in before mst :p
< mst> maschine++
%
20:14 -!- ChoHag has quit [Ping timeout: 360 seconds]
20:49 -!- ChoHag has joined #chat
20:49 < ChoHag> It was DNS.
%
< Dom> Curtains closed. Light breeze. Not too bad indoors. Outside is evil
       though.
< mst> it took until an hour ago for me to admit to the existence of clothing
< Dom> That was tempting, but it might have scared the children in the library
%
<mst> it's probably better for your SAN score to not remember the details
<mst> I sometimes wish I didn't
<Mithaldu_> yeah, i also had getty yelling over it the entire time
<mst> ... now I feel better and no longer want to trade
%
< vincent> mst: my bad, I didn't see the -D in my plackup invocation...
< vincent> now it all makes sense
< mst> vincent: lololololol oops :D
 * vincent sets sail for pub to forget this painful experience
%
<Mithaldu_> twitter based their system around the same brainworms as the US
<mst> honestly I'm sort of amazed I haven't been reportbombed yet
<Mithaldu_> i feel you haven't yet because most of your stuff is worded so 
            academically most people don't realize you insulted them
%
< jabberwok> i should dust off TECO.  1981 and we got this "Editor Macros"
             [for TECO] to run in it...
< stephan48> am i too young or does "editor macros" really sounds awfully 
             similar to emacs?
%
<@mako132> ugh, this old ticket is nothing but people's vacation auto 
           replies in the comments
 * mako132 sprays it with lysol
%
<%BinGOs> we have two factors, the username *and* the password!
%
<@cat-xeger> :wq
<@mst> permission denied: ass cannot be written, only pounded
<@cat-xeger> Anyhow -- for context, that's a piece of 1/2" x 2" x 36" 
             poplar from one of the big box lumber stores
%
< jberger> (oh gods I've gone corporate speak)
< Grinnz> we can circle back to that
< Grinnz> when we have cycles free
< Grinnz> ok, going to wash my mouth out with mountain dew
%
< erry> wat
< erry> oh wait rust is compiled
< erry> nevermind
< nox> erry: It's a DSL for making browsers, obviously it's compiled.
%
< phaylon> lols. masses of cops outside, helicopters flying over, water 
           cannons, loudspeakers telling people to unmask, loud chanting, 
           thought I missed some large dmonstration or something
< phaylon> turns out it's just soccer
%
 * davel exploded a can of expired Carlsberg over himself for lunch
%
< SymbioticFemale> yeah the actual channel is ##P.O.R.N.
< SymbioticFemale> they refused to unlock ##PORN
< SymbioticFemale> which is a redirect to #youhavegottobekidding
%
< jmac> My tombstone is just going to say "Wide character in print"
%
< nox> There is a new woman in the theatre class,
< nox> her name is Lou.
< nox> My mom calls me Lou.
< nox> The first five minutes of the class were really confusing.
%
< revhippie> would you prefer - elsunless ($part =~ tr{.}{}c) {
< mst> revhippie: roll a save against mallet gnome
< revhippie> eval: [ int(rand 20) + 1 ]
< perlbot> revhippie: [16]
%
<Kassandry> "An alcoholic, a rapist, and a liar walk into a bar. 
            Bartender says 'What'll it be, Justice Kavanaugh?'"
%
< quanticle> I used to think that you needed <div> and <span>, but then 
             someone pointed out that you can make <div> behave like 
             <span> with "display: inline-block;" in CSS
%
< mst> that sentence is based on feedback, I'm not *just* being a smug bastard
< mst> (I'm totally being a smug bastard as well, mind)
< MalphasWats> I get the impression that you deserve to :)
< mst> well, obviously *I* like to think so
%
< sobel> i guess most GUI based apps are really the mysql of apps
< sobel> "the mysql nature"
< DrEeevil> > electron
< sobel> i don't wish to bring mongodb into this
%
< daemon> I wonder if I can get vscode to spank me if I go over 80 cols
< thrig> mallet gnome 2.0: now with optional paddle
%
< pink_mist> I have many questions
< pink_mist> I don't really want any answers though
< pink_mist> I really don't
< pink_mist> :X
%
< Altreus> root mean square
< Altreus> my spirit average
%
< mst> half way down the bottle
< mst> my spirit level
< thrig> absinthe better options...
%
< bin_bash> we should nuke japan again
<@mst> the incels would come out of their basements and riot for their tiddies
< bin_bash> makes it easy to cull them
<@mst> ... point.
%
< nox> Yeah but that baby simulator game is unrealistic,
< nox> like, you can die from eating batteries IIRC,
< nox> and I can confirm that doesn't kill a baby.
< Kassandry> nox: What did you try that worked?
%
1) all twitter accounts are feds
2) never point a twitter account at anything you're not willing to destroy
3) keep your finger off the mouse button until your tweet is on the target
4) be sure of your target and its followers
%
<@mst> Prodding 3: The Proddening
<@mst> Prodding 2: Stun Gun Boogaloo
< pink_mist> Prodding 4: Live Free and Prod Hard
< thrig> Mallet Gnome Reloaded
%
< LeoNerd> Ohwait except I can't go to LPW because I'm going to the perl5 core 
           hackathon at the same time. :/
< LeoNerd> Oh the irony of my being unable to attend both events to talk 
           about concurrency
%
< mst> simcop2387: .. is context dependent because it hates you
< simcop2387> yep
< huf> sir we require proper closed shoes in this establishment
< huf> take your flip flops to mcdonalds
%
< triddle> drinking some of the freedesktop koolaid has been an 
           interesting experience
< triddle> the problem is that it barely tastes like almonds until
           it's too late
%
< Grinnz> oh god, php
%
< erry> nox: I bet there's no dictator named Errietta
< erry> ...yet
< nox> Be the dictator you want to see in the world.
< nox> “IT’S *THEIR* SERENE HIGHNESS YOU FUCKWADS”
%
< mst> the goal is minimising the chance of the user ending up short a foot
< simcop2387> i'd really love a problem where the user ends up with an 
              extra foot they don't want or need.
< thrig> easy, start with two users
%
< tyldis> A legacy app at $ork does "require" on an entire folder. 109 
          files. Can't go into more details without crying.
< tyldis> No "use strict".
< tyldis> At least there's 0% coverage so I don't have to maintain the tests
%
< nox> mst: Well that's what "OH" indicates, no?
< nox> I thought it stood for "Obviously Hitler".
< ChoHag> OHRLY?
< nox> I feel like I just cursed myself into reading it that way forever now.
%
< AdamJensen> XLV: lemme guess, you deny the Holocaust too? :P
< XLV> AdamJensen, anybody with two brain cells does
<@mst> XLV: I absolutely agree with that statement.
< XLV> let me rephrase it. anybody with more than two...
%
< feep> so
< feep> being in the market for a new phone since I just put my current 
        phone in the washing machine
%
-!- Altreus [~altreus@cumulus.altre.us] has joined #moose
< Altreus> I have fought my way through the new weechat interface!
< Altreus> um actually this is a catalyst question
%
< johto> "When you arrive at pgconf, there will be three queues based on the 
         letters of your first name. Please look on your ticket for which 
         queue you should stand in!"
< johto> Is this the new partitioning feature?
%
< genio> ERROR 2006 (HY000) at line 581: MySQL server has gone away   
         why on earth do I deal with this nonsense?
< LeoNerd> CELEBRATE 2006 at line 581: MySQL server has finally gone away 
           so you don't have to deal with its shit any more
%
< DrEeevil> software raid *can* go very fast but it's difficult
< DrEeevil> hardware raid asfn Ognoregn rg;nz;n :Aks 
            fnALnf/.....................
 * DrEeevil had a 3ware moment
%
< jmac> Cat is NOT allowed to walk on my keyboard when I am ssh'd into prod
%
< nox> mozjs/third_party/python/pipenv/pipenv/vendor/pip9/_vendor/
< nox> Yo dawg, heard you like vendoring so I put vendoring in your 
       vendoring so you can vendor while you vendor.
%
< mst> "we're beyond shotgun debugging and into stormtrooper debugging here"
%
< LeoNerd> Who called it a `sub declaration` and not a `sub missive`?
%
<@gwern> 'i'm sick of all these stylegan booths at burning man! it's so 
         boring and predictable' 'hate the gan and not the playa, dude'
%
< mst> headline of the day: Tennessee Deputy Sued Twice In The Same Day 
       Over A Roadside Anal Search And A Forced Baptism
< Kassandry> You can baptize someone with an anal search?
%
< nshepperd2> Something something it's been an incredible journey but imgur
              is now pivoting away from showing images to focus on its core
              competencies, running advertising javascript and trolling
%
< genio> lots of    FROM foo, bar, baz    too. :(
< Grinnz> oh god, i usually only see that in sqlite
< genio> I'm cringing left and right over here
< thrig> LEFT OUTER CRINGE
%
< mst> THERE ARE ACTUALLY TESTS
< mst> do they work?
< jnap> and they don't work at all
< mst> ... DAMNIT
%
< jnap> I meant to have a plan but I forgot.
%
< genio> The internet suggests I have cancer, am experiencing a heart 
         attack, have acid reflux, bruised/broke a bone, bruised some 
         cartilage, fucked up a lung, pulled/tore some muscle, or 
         otherwise am being a hypochondriac and should get over myself.
%
< ttkp> when I was a little child, I dreamed of using arcane incantations 
        and dark sigils to bend the universe to my will
< ttkp> today, I am a perl programmer
< ttkp> never stop dreaming
%
< Getty> i had to totally care for the dog for 3/4 of a year, at first he 
         hated me
< Getty> he never did what i said
< Getty> now he loves me, and never does what i say
%
< huf> ah yes, the secret to terrible performance
< huf> .*? is usually kept deep beneath a monastery in switzerland
%
< namespace> People take LSD and become convinced the universe is made
             out of joy.
< namespace> Is anyone ever convinced the universe is made out of suffering?
< Urchin> slavs
%
< kd> tfw you can have a coherent conversation about propositional 
      calculus versus predicate calculus with your offspring
< kd> then follow it up with a spot of discussion about feminist politics
< kd> mdk: ^^ I guess this is what you've got to look forward to
%
< phaylon> gah. will have to do this the hard way
%
< rindolf> veesh: where in .us ?
< veesh> the land of the cleve
< veesh> best place ever
< veesh> if you don't include other places in the comparison
%
<@mst> I like some changes australia has made to english
<@mst> but I use "y'all" because USians are triggered by "you bunch of cunts"
<@Burrito> mst: like 'cunt' being turned into a compliment?
<@mst> Burrito: sniped
%
< DrEeevil> I saw nodejs and found it amusing, like J and perl6 and 
            OpenCOBOL and all this exotic weird stuff
< DrEeevil> so I packaged it for gentoo, just because it's funny
< DrEeevil> then people started using it
%
<@cat-xeger> I have photographic evidence that I've slipped into a 
             parallel universe... all four of my cats sitting on the
             same piece of furniture.
%
<Mithaldu_> \o/
<Mithaldu_> he's a furry
<Mithaldu_> of course he's a trash disaster but not entirely bad :D
%
< Kassandry> What the fuck did I just wake up to?
< pirateFinn> the internet?
%
< DrHyde> argh
 * DrHyde remembers UUCP
 * DrHyde runs around with his brain on fire
%
< mst> can't even get packets to it in the first place from the looks of it
< mst> trace gets as far as be100-1042.rbx-g2-nc5.fr.eu then barfs
< huf> so france is down again
< huf> i bet it was the fucking ardennes, they'll never learn
%
< perlbot> @FederalSpyGuy perhaps youre english skills are substandard
< thrig> ahh the insults of yore
< simcop2387> ur, your, you're and yore
< thrig> alas poor yourick, I knew him well
%
< ether> oh great, if I move my response logging to a $c->on(finish ..), 
         my logging tests fail
< ether> async is awesmoe sometimes :)
%
< nox> "Is buttcheeks one word or should I spread them apart?"
%
< nox> Lol,
< nox> the Mario streamer sponsorised by Redbull can't play Death 
       Stranding live because it's sponsorised by Monster.
< nox> What a timeline.
%
 * davidfetter wonders whether he's been too clever, and should just have 
    put it right before "return result"
< RhodiumToad> that would also be wrong
%
<@sungo> sadly, vets won't give people meds
%
< corwin> Somehow I have enabled subliminal-cats-mode in Windows 10.
< corwin> I have Wallpaper Engine running.
< corwin> But every once in a while a rand cat pic replaces my wallpaper.
< corwin> If this is some sort of conspiracy mark me down as a collaborator.
%
<erry> It's a ~ separated file
<erry> because CSV is too hard
<erry> and some have further data that is | separated within the fields
<erry> because potatoes
%
How do you greet a lawyer with an IQ of 100? "Hi Bob"
How about one with an IQ of 80? "Good morning, your Honor"
How about one with an IQ of 60? "Well hello, Congressman!"
%
< mst> that sentence is really ambiguous without knowing which one of 
       them you fucked, btw
< nox> mst: I know.
< nox> mst: You don't know who I fucked, but I definitely fucked English.
%
<@sungo> depends, in my experience. large internal automation teams in
         general, yes, prefer to be called DevOps. the large internal
         automation team created specifically to manage AWS administrivia,
         in my experience, prefer to be called "The Cursed"
%
< insomnia> laundry cat is going nuts
< insomnia> soon as I take it out she'll chase me down the hall with it 
            and dive in
< insomnia> try to fold laundry and the laundry has teeth & claws.
%
<dysfun_> wait we're not playing this game again
<mst> huh?
<dysfun_> last time we started comparing sex lives you ended up OH 
          tweeting me
%
<+nixonix> yeah i know
<@mst> sorry. took your question as genuine rather than sarcastic.
<@mst> totally works as sarcasm on a re-read too :D
<+nixonix> it wasnt either this time. i just type shit and see what happens
%
< nox> phaylon: Please stay where you are,
< nox> the police of too many negations in the same sentence is coming for you
< nox> stay calm and obey their directives.
< phaylon> nox: I wouldn't be unsurprised if they didn't decide not to
%
< Winterbay> bingely bingely beep?
< Kincaid> would you like to set a reminder?
< hikari> No, fuck off.
< Kincaid> would you like to set a reminder to fuck off later?
%
< feep> all talk is pointless
< feep> life is pointless
< feep> death is the only escape
< feep> (this is an irc channel. chancellor, pointless is our speciality.)
%
<erry> fat shamers: we shouldn't encourage the fatties or they'll stay fat
<erry> me, a fatty: discovers fb group of other fatties, joins
<erry> THIS IS WHERE WE PLAN THE TAKEOVER OF THE WORLD
<erry> then we feed them 
%
< triddle> they ruined a perfectly good workstation. just look at it: 
           it's got windows
%
< Altreus> "just" to mst is not in the realms of "just" for everyone else
%
<@alh> mst: I don't age man. When you have no hips to bust I'll still be 
       getting picked up by random PHPers
%
< quanticle> I think it's a fact that the more socialist you are, the better
             your chocolate is
%
< roshambo> gaetz strikes me as above average intelligence who's on third 
            base of the dark triad :P
< roshambo> the guy's teeth freak me out
< roshambo> he's like a vampire horse
%
< jberger> LeoNerd: well let's crank it up a notch, retweeted from @perlmojo
< LeoNerd> A blast from your spice-weasel?
< mst> LeoNerd: I think that's more your kink than ours
< LeoNerd> <Comment></Comment>
%
<@simcop2387> oh sorry, eat a *bowl* of dicks.
< LeoNerd> A bowl is preferrable to a bag.. easier to put the sauce on
< mst> is it spiceweasel flavoured?
< LeoNerd> .. bah, faster than I could type :P
%
03:17 <Kassandry> Sec.
03:17 <mst> k
03:19 <Kassandry> Cat just murdered a mouse
03:19 <mst> good kitty :D
%
<@sungo> at least in .ca, usps can't thieve your packages
<@cat-xeger> No ... but canada post still thinks they're going to deliver 
             my package on dec 4th ...
<@cat-xeger> ... but having just checked, they don't mention which year.
%
Smuggler My pilots don't have accidents.
Ivanova: They will. I'll see to it.
Smuggler: You wouldn't!
Ivanova: Really? I've got a 200-megawatt pulse cannon that says otherwise.
%
< chloekek> Oh is it fosdem again? COol!
< chloekek> I mean: fosdamn I forgot to go again
%
< erry> speaking of deadly plagues, i dont 'feel 100% today
< erry> oh well, RIP me I guess
< triddle> don't panic it could be all kinds of stuff, cancer for instance
%
< xenu> while building perl i pressed ctrl-c which resulted in the following:
< xenu> NNMMAAKKEE  ::  ffaattaall  eerrrroorr  UU11005588::  NMAKE : 
        fatal error U1077: termtineatremdi nbayt euds ebry
< xenu>  Sutsoepr.
%
<@ct> I knew Ryzen ran warm, but damn
<@hobbs> well it's less watts-per-blah than comparable intel
<@hobbs> it's just capable of a lot of blah
%
< triddle> you have now failed as a nutritionist, give me the fucking
           cheeseburger
%
< LeoNerd> I don't want to have to double-bounce it
< mst> LeoNerd: see that just sounds like the whole "two condoms thing"
< mst> oh, wait, that's double-bagging it, isn't it
< LeoNerd> Not to be confused with double-dipping either
%
< ggreer> > ! 'none' driver reported an issue: exec: "systemctl": 
          executable file not found in $PATH
< ggreer> > Exited with code exit status 69
%
<@ct> someone has written some code that is doing DNS lookups ignoring 
      cache but damned if I can find it
<@genehack> ct: _you_ don't need to find it. block the DNS lookups, and 
            the person who wrote the code will find *you*.
%
< quicksilver> Shadowcat are the people you get in when there are strange
               smells coming from the data centre and of the last three
               juniors you hired, one went mad, one joined the circus, and
               one hasn't been seen since two weeks ago on Thursday
%
< triddle> one sec my paranoid security is keeping me out of my own VPS 
           because I didn't finish setting up this workstation after I 
           reinstalled it
%
< kwispel> it's all fun when it's new and exciting - but finishing the 
           project involves doing boring stuff, procrastination becomes 
           the norm and people start to complain...
< chloekek> 80/20 rule, 20 hours fun, 80 hours boring maintenance.
%
< kraih> on second though, $promise->force looks kinda weird
< mst> kraih: write it scheme style, (force $promise)
< kraih> the unicode spec really needs that picard facepalm emoji
%
<@gwern> yeah, all the california physical culture, anti-vax, granola, 
         nudism, all of this seems to trace historically back to germany. 
<@gwern> no one does rationality and science and technology quite like 
         the germans... but also no one goes insane quite like the germans
%
<erry>         on_delete=models.PROTECT
<erry> he models.PROTECC
<erry> he models.ATTACC
<erry> but most importantly, he overflow the STACC
%
< nox> Some people have "blocked by $someone" in their bio,
< nox> I feel like "tolerated by mst" is way cooler. :P
%
< Khoth> Really if I go to work and say "hey let's change the language we 
         write our stuff in" then everyone including me will stab me
%
< lavalike> the most hilarious piece of news I saw was how people ransacked
            all of the pasta on the shelves of some supermarket in lombardy, a
            high case count region in italy, but they left the penne lisce
            there, you really see people preferences in these times haha
%
< pink_mist> mst: know what I just realised? I'm you, but with a pink eye
%
< mst> jberger (one of the perl crew) referred to my presence in channels 
       and etc. as 'mst as a service'
< nox> mst: So... Uber but for Chlamydia?
%
< castaway> I ran outta cluebats
 * TBSliver rings up an order for another 200 tonnes
< TBSliver> should keep us going for a month or so :P
%
<@Fuchs> yeah, if I were Voldemort and had to hide one of these 
         horcruxes I'd choose an IRC topic
<@Fuchs> that, or the JIRA UI
%
<kbk> reaches for teapot, pours out a nice hot cup of tempest.
%
< mst> I'm also impressed by him saying "I have an N-tier architecture"
< mst> like, yes, definitionally
< quicksilver> HALP I ACCIDENTALLY THE N-TIER INTERNET
< mst> ... I hate you
%
<erry> so this golang reverse proxy was doing the SSI
<erry> but also, golang has a horrible regexp engine
<erry> so the golang proxy also shipped with a nginx server
<erry> which it used as a regex engine
%
< ether> dzil optimizes for end users and puts all the pain on the 
         author, but you get to customize your type and level of pain, 
         which is nice at least :)
< ether> and some of us enjoy the pain if we get to control it
%
< triddle> one party, two brands? make one anti-democrat and the other 
           anti-republican and don't tell people it's the same party?
< triddle> then in 20 years go SURPRISE! You were cooperating the whole time
%
<@ct> I rarely watch anything more than once but watched S01 twice
<@ct> I mean, I've seen every episode of The West Wing at least five 
      times, but a story about a Washington where actions have 
      consequences is more medicinal than entertainment.
%
< nox> This fucking country…
< nox> We can't spell, so #coronvirus is trending.
%
<@chargrill> damn, coronavirus is more well traveled than i am. #jealous
<@cat-xeger> Didn't think you were particularly well travelled :P
<@chargrill> i've gotten around a bit
<@cat-xeger> So I've heard... but I didn't think you meant _travel_ :P
%
< nox> At my former workplace, I would say puns constantly and I reached a
       level where there could be silence for 20s and suddenly someone yells
       FUCK YOU NOX
< nox> because they had just got the pun and it was fucking bad.
%
<@saturn2> also, if you get the opportunity to go back and kill someone, 
           please make it lennart poettering and not hitler
%
< ether> there always seem to be some perl jobs when I've gone looking
< ether> I can think of half a dozen leads in North America
< thrig> and at least one Leeds in England
%
< chloekek> This is the worst way to film slides ever.
< chloekek> Whoever picked that camera angle should have a corner shoved 
            up their butt at the very same angle.
%
< kd> email to boss from just now
< kd> yeah cool.  We've made progress.  Things work badly.  That means 
      we're 90% done, and around 920% left to go.
%
< kd> indeed I learned everything I know from you ... which is disturbing
< mst> ... to me also
%
<@gwern> the key to understand ledger, I feel, is to understand it's a 
         series of tubes...
< quanticle> gwern: Really? I thought it was a bunch of big trucks, 
             hauling my money from account to account
%
< thrig> the iambic pentameter needs work
< mst> we need a formal standard for the penta so we can calibrate the meter
< thrig> probably the distance shakespeare travels after being shot from
         a cannon
%
< vincent> guess I'll try it and see if I'm getting insane in the process
< mst> in the case of me and thee I think it's better to worry about 
       accidentally being driven *sane*
< vincent> let's hope sanity is an angular measure
%
<@gwern> ...how do you go from 1.2tb to 0.067tb?
< shawwn> no no, 67 gigs of furry porn images. 1161.465GB of furry porn videos
%
< tyldis> I just finished a script to backup my vacuum robot daily.
          Strange world.
%
< genio> I trust facebook as much as I do a knife-weilding clown coming 
         out of a sewer
< genio> Then again, I live in FL, so I trust our state government
         about as much
%
 * cat-xeger got a delivery today from either the UK or EU ... labeled 
    'horse shampoo'
<@mst> I thought you made glue out of horses, not shampoo
<@cat-xeger> As it turns out, it's actually a rubber bucket...
%
< LeoNerd> Hum... well..er... I guess it works :)
< ilmari> \o/
< ilmari> no need to $fret ;)
< LeoNerd> No, fretting will involve  t/81async-method+dynamically.t
%
< LeoNerd> That's a 3-way interaction between three of my modules
< mst> .oO "good thing we're both experienced at those"
< LeoNerd> While I've nothing against a threesome, practically they get a lot
           more complex due to all the extra interactions between moving parts
%
< LeoNerd> ^-- are these messages suitably understandable?
< tom_m> we'll provide feedback on that tomorrow when we put this into prod!
< LeoNerd> Don't scare me with such things :P
< tom_m> \N{COMBINING LOOK OF INNOCENCE}
%
<erry> oh good, company wide gantt chart, barf
%
< ology> My client put $a all over his code. I have told him "NO!" and he
         agrees now. Fortunately there is no sorting in his source ... yet.
< thrig> sort old.pl > new.pl
 * ology pushes thrig down the stairs
%
< shawwn> “Learn how some of our most successful customers utilize the 
          Figure Eight platform to annotate training data for a wide 
          array of machine learning projects."
< shawwn> I wonder if they would support furdick classification..
%
< Kassandry> SC2 Kerrigan has yellow stripes from how hard she was hit 
             with the nerf bat
%
< kwispel> so there is a french guy who ran a marathon...on his balcony
< kwispel> france is definitely going insane, first there are 
           reports of people drinking box wine, and now this
< xocolatl> we're not insane, we're in seine
%
< Obormot> This is my dream job title
< Obormot> Commissar of Enlightenment
< Obormot> Having the New York Times accuse me of calculated moral depravity
           would be my career goal.
%
<@mst> since master is basically a wasteland with more cobwebs than hillary's 
       vagina and 'develop' is the new blac^Wmaster, I've told github to give 
       us 'develop' on a fresh clone by default so nobody else unknowingly
       stumbles into the haunted grotto while setting up a new dev env
%
< bay-max> For some reason when ever I bring out the tardis, two guys who 
           constantly air-guitar keep showing up and asking to borrow it.
%
<@ct> Trent Reznor looks like he should be picking his kids up from soccer now
<@ct> which is just mind blowing
<@gizmomathboy> "I want to cheer for you like an animal"
%
< triddle> the virus won
< Kassandry> Well, yes, I was playing Plague Inc on Mega Brutal. Of 
             course it won.
%
< genio> I was here working on a few data migration scripts. Started 
         getting errors and wondering what's going on because the changes 
         I made had nothing to do with the google section
< genio> "How the hell'd I break that?!?" ... "Oh, Google's down"
%
< nox> Meanwhile our Minister of Education said that the national exam at 
       the end of high school will be happening in time this year,
< nox> so it's probably cancelled.
< nox> Whatever he says, the opposite happens.
%
< mdk> It's at times like these that I am thankful I have some smart, and 
       truly fucking funny yet cruelly sarcastic people to help me... oh, 
       and you guys :P
%
< ptrcmd> perhaps having lots of fake news is just what the path to 
          singularity looks like
< shawwn> I mean, we’ve got three or four horsemen kicking around right now
< shawwn> a singularity would be a nice distraction
%
< Obormot> Another way to know if it is a jumping spider is to see whether
           it is *completely adorable*
%
< gordonfish> (The original cert appeared to have an expiration date of 
              1970, and I guess the newer versions of openssl lack 
              libfluxcapacitor support.)
%
< nshepperd2> fine then, I'll do things to prove shminux wrong
< Obormot> You know what
< Obormot> "to prove shminux wrong" is an excellent reason to do things
< Obormot> In fact, it just may be the solution to free will
%
< mst> shawwn: [insert montage here]
< shawwn> mst: if only AI training were as cool
< shawwn> my montage would look like slow weight gain and back problems 
          developing
%
<Kassandry> That was so British I almost felt compelled make some tea and 
            conquer part of Africa.
%
<@cat-xeger> Bugger.  Horse hair.
%
< Mithaldu_> holy shit, mst is going to bed at midnight
< Mithaldu_> everything is fucked
< pirateFinn> I mean the pub is closed, so shouldnt surprise you lol
%
< Dom> Ah, sleet. How lovely. Spring must be here.
%
<erry> the more i look at this microlyth
<erry> the more wtf the sql queries are
<erry> [link redacted in the name of erry's NDAs and the reader's SAN points]
<erry> what in god's flat earth is that query even trying to do?
%
<@gwern> 'The German Panzer 35(t) tanks and anti-tank weapons were 
         ineffective against the Soviet heavy tanks, some of which were 
         out of ammunition but closed in and destroyed German antitank 
         guns by driving over them.[13][14][g]' how very soviet
%
< Altreus> I do like some features of bash. FD handling is one of them
< huf_> there may be a better language inside shell, trying to get out
< Grinnz> I like the feature of bash where you can run something else 
          written in a sane language
%
<@gwern> in case anyone was wondering, the ahegao model is still training
< ggreer> I was not and now I'm considering drinking a handle of vodka so 
          that I will not have to know this fact
%
< huf_> 127.0.0.1 must be the most exhausted ip
< huf_> up every day at the crack of localhost
%
The second problem is that there seem to be a huge collection of choices for
the various pieces of such an environment (and some of them even work).
%
< huf_> why is it that the plot can thicken but it cant become tumescent
        or erect?
%
< Betawolf> Is Robomot reading a different tweet to me, or is my browser 
            posessed by the Holy Ghost?
< mst> Betawolf: "tweet's haunted"
<@gwern> run templeos in your browser and it will be
%
< pingu4> i just had a scam email from the "nhs" asking for donations
< xenu> WHO and Swiss Philanthropy Foundation asked me for the same
< xenu> it's pretty good timing because i've just won 1 million dollars 
        in a "facebook lottery"
%
< cat-xeger> I have a landline, know what the number is, and currenly 
             have a rotary dial phone connected to it.
< cat-xeger> Also, when the rapture comes, I _will_ have root.
%
< random> argh this fuxlibg keyboard.
%
< quanticle> capisce: What we need to do is detach Sweden from Europe
< quanticle> Sail it all the way around Africa, and put it over by Japan
< capisce> you'd need to temporarily detach Norway too to let them out
< Betawolf> I think it's on a hinge
%
< ether> that's the main qualifier I use to distinguish a junior 
         programmer from an intermediate
< ether> can you humble yourself enough to ask a dumb question on irc
< Altreus> Depends. Is mst going to see it?
%
< gordonfish> enum Bool { True, False, FileNotFound };
%
 * ovid notes that he decided not to change his nick to "covid"
%
< LeoNerd> Either I'm using it wrong, or parse_subsignature() gets upset 
           by empty signatures
< LeoNerd> And I don't think I'm using it wrong, because I wrote it so 
           (think) I know how to use it
%
< Mithaldu> I actually declined bringing this up earlier because there were
            better points to bring up that are actually on topic, but this
            accusation is 100% dumbfucked. Please stop being so utterly
            moronic.
%
-!- ovid is now known as covid
%
< FunkyBob> my friend was explaining about the two great books on cheese 
            making she has. one the author is near fanatical about cleanliness
            and perfect measures, the other is basically ... "Haven't got some
            cultures? Shove your hands in for 10 seconds..."
%
< ether> it sure does suck to have to try to mind-meld with people on 
         another continent to derive requirements, though
< ether> but, as I've said before, I'm married, so I'm not *terrible* at 
         mind reading
%
< mst> A true english gentlemen keeps his own council
< huf_> where does he keep it
< huf_> and just how many people are in a single gentlemEn?
< tm604> depends on how successful the council meeting was
%
<@mst> I forget ovid does this strange and wondrous thing called "polite"
<@mst> never understood it myself
<@covid> Fuck off.
<@covid> Please.
%
< nox> I love this quote from POTUS Churchill: “Those who give up causality
       for correlation deserve neither and will lose both”. Food for thought!
%
<sevvie> There is a thing. That exists.
<sevvie> Called a sushi burrito.
<sevvie> Wonderful things happen when you legalize guns, weed, gambling, and 
         asian people.
%
< mst> honestly I think my mother died when she did because her voice had gone
       enough she couldn't tell people they were wrong anymore
<@gwern> it was heart failure. her heart was broken seeing everyone do 
         everything wrong
%
< deko> I made my first brötchen (bread rolls?) with "wild" yeast today.
        Worked like a charm and even tastes better. amazing.
< Zr40> feral yeast
< deko> rawr.
%
< thowe> There is something about seeing mst flatly drop the sweet Perl 
         truth and then grumble that comforts me and makes the world seem 
         like everything is gonna be OK.
%
< nshepperd2> if denial isn't working, you're not using enough of it
%
< Betawolf> My wife used to worry about our cat going out when the 
            weather was bad at night, until I pointed out that from her 
            record, she _was_ the scary thing little mammals should be 
            afraid of on a dark and stormy night.
%
< Betawolf> oh, so it's mostly a sad person with wet feet
%
< nox> mst: You should have mentioned you want pandas dead to that dumb vegan.
< mst> nox: that was a fight club quote :D
< nox> mst: I can't talk about that.
%
< huf_> this particular kind of red ale is basically social democracy 
        forced from the capitalist beer manufacturer elite by the looming 
        horror of microbrew communism
%
< mst> humans? learning lessons? don't be silly
< FunkyBob> that's crazy talk!
< FunkyBob> I learned that... oh, wait, shit.
%
< pie_[bnc]> "I'm not being a smartass I just think like this"
< pie_[bnc]> ok maybe I'm being a bit of a smartass
< pie_[bnc]> it's also an occupational hazard
< pie_[bnc]> when you're doing programming >_>
%
< mst> moin
< Rosemary> beep
< Dom> Hi
< pewterfish> fthagn
%
<alice> Anybody else willing to cover tech support since bob just silently
        bailed on me because he prefers animal crossing over work?
<chris> Look, some people have turnips to sell
<chris> It's not my fault, I've got a mortgage to pay
%
-!- boxr [~boxr@panopticon.cybergaraget.org] has joined #perl
< boxr> yo
< mst> .o/
 * mst approves of calling your irssi host panopticon
%
< mst> ... misparsed Pascal's Pensees as Pascal's Penises
< Betawolf> just a variant of Pascal's mugging targeted at getting laid.
< mst> I, I, Pascal's buttplugging
< mst> ... because you're Wirth it
%
< initself> imagine how many smart people are in the shadows
< mst> give me a flamethrower and I'll find out
< mohawk> do not give mst a flamethrower
< mohawk> remember last time
%
< Kassandry> Bananas are unrealistically large anyway.
< mdk> Only next to some people :)
< Kassandry> True. True. 
%
< Kassandry> Shitting aunts, I had a bad run....
< mst> bad runs would explain why the aunts were shitting, admittedly
< Kassandry> Me: You don't look so good. Aunt: Arse is haunted. Me: What?
             Aunt: *grabs bog roll and returns to bathroom* Arse is haunted
%
<@KT_So_It_Goes> if I find the fucker who ate the bat I’m locking him in my
                 house with my wife and kids for a whole year
<@KT_So_It_Goes> hope you like making mac & cheese and watching frozen 2 you
                 sonofabitch
%
< pirateFinn> Nah my fav is "why are all these conversations like this? 
              just once someone could actually interact with my arguments 
              maybe someone could convince me"
< pirateFinn> Like oh honey we tried
%
<@ccooke> i have decided to find the conspiracy theories comforting
<@ccooke> i mean, it proves that humans are still absolutely, fully human 
          in all circumstances ;-)
%
22:24 -!- Uniaika has quit [Killed (Sigyn (Spam is off topic on freenode.))]
23:14 -!- Uniaika [~uniaika@163.172.211.189] has joined #irssi
23:16 < mst> Uniaika: you're an idiot. welcome back :D
23:16 < href> I've witnessed the despair live IRL, mst, it was worth it.
%
< aquanight> a == b & c -> (a == b) & c
< huf_> who cares about that one
< huf_> it's not like you do bit manipulation in c
%
< shminux> “You know, people think mathematics is complicated. 
           Mathematics is the simple bit. It’s the stuff we can 
           understand. It’s cats that are complicated”
%
< Obormot> We have the best bagels
< Obormot> The best pizza 
< Obormot> The best water 
< Obormot> The best coronavirus infections count 
%
 * quanticle read '100b Childrens' Sky' as '8 Childrens' Sky'
%
<@ether> hubs just fixed the bird feeder that the bear smashed
<@ether> we really shouldn't be feeding the birds at all, as it's an 
         attractant.. but it's the cat's tv
%
< Ai9zO5AP> what do you suggest for deeplearning ?
< mst> get a good book and go down a mine shaft?
< thrig> https://www.gutenberg.org/files/18857/18857-h/18857-h.htm
%
< genio> Woo. Atlassian made a UI/UX change that doesn't outright stink 
         this time. Navigation makes sense again
< huf_> they must all be dying from covid and delirious from fever
< huf_> because that's seriously out of character for them, i'm worried
%
< mst> (he says, for at least the fourth time now)
< thrig> ." FORTH TIME
%
< Kassandry> erry makes a decent straight man
< erry> i'm panromantic
< Kassandry> erry: Yup. *pats* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straight_man
< erry> <3
%
<@murb> PC LOAD LETTUCE
%
<erry> me: thinks of all the edge cases that can come up
<erry> PM: <surprised pikachu face>
<erry> i think i broke the PM
<erry> he can't help me anymore
%
<@BinGOs> INSERT COLON 
<@mst> COCK_MONOTONIC
<@ilmari> BinGOs: or as I had done 16 years ago: EXTRACT COLON 
<@mst> ilmari: "no, no, no, I said *prolog*"
%
< mst> pink_mist: BLUBBER
< pink_mist> MACADAMIA
< mst> BLUBBER GAZEEEBO
< pink_mist> BULBOUS BOUFFANT
%
< kd> it's nice not to be working for hyena capitalists (aka private equity)
%
< mst> nothing quite as funny as *setting* $_[0] in a method
< mst> that replaces the caller's copy of the object with something else
< mst> but not anybody else's
< LeoNerd> Ohfuck I should set SvREADONLY on $self in Object::Pad methods
%
< mst> prototypes are in the "I always regret this" category
< mst> much like watersports at an orgy, no matter how much fun it seems at
       the time, eventually somebody'll get splashed who wasn't expecting it
< ether> mst: I always knew that PPE would come in handy
%
< huf_> what the fuck am i supposed to have done now?
< mst> I've no idea, but that's not going to stop me blaming you for it
< huf_> fucking anglos
%
< Mithaldu_> and then he talked about his experiences dating on grindr
< Mithaldu_> (a lot of the guys on grindr are so incredibly thirsty 
             they're like lemming jumping off a cliff just because there 
             might be a dick at the bottom)
%
<@gwern> 'wouldn't it be nice if everyone just' - no, everyone will not just.
         everyone has never just justed in history, and they aren't going to
         start now, and if they did, others would anti-just to exploit it.
%
< mst> Obormot: have you read the books?
< Obormot> if I'd read them I wouldn't have to doubt, I could just disagree
< mst> then we must duel for the honour of Richard Morgan
< mst> as weapons, I choose a cliff and an angry faggot
%
< vincent> also one crash was definitely caused by *logging* utf-8 
           encoded strings to an ascii channel, and I hate my life for 
           having to learn enough python to fix that
%
< nox> It's connaisseur in French, from the verb connaitre,
< nox> that "o" offends me.
< Mithaldu_> i'll make a note to say that word as often as i can around french
< Mithaldu_> konnossör
%
< simcop2387> i'm starting on hour three of the daily standup
%
< ttkp> was about to pose a question here, and an imagined answer from 
        mst popped into my head.
< ttkp> #perl, what have you done to me?
%
< tom_m> s/compatible with/similar to/ ?
< Grinnz> "may remind you of the flavor of"
< LeoNerd> "Has subtle hints of burned oak and ..."
< Grinnz> "was once stored in a warehouse with"
%
< tm604> also it only counts as poetry when it comes from the XS region 
         of cpan, everything else is just sparkling perl
%
< Grinnz> probably about time for me to remove that and make a v1 so it 
          doesn't look alpha
< mst> Grinnz: [very pick up artist voice] but alpha is good
< Grinnz> [john oliver stare]
%
<mst> you're allowed to poke into your *own* internals
%
< rewt> huf: you said it too
< huf> rewt: yes, but *I* knew i was joking :D
< huf> i've got inside information
< huf> it's handy
%
< LeoNerd> There is /a/ spec yes. It's possible someone somewhere follows it.
%
< Altreus> I know enough about IRC never to write a client for it
%
< mst> the alternative would've been writing CSS and I don't know how
< erry> * { font-family: 'Comic sans'; }
< mst> ... is it still a rule zero violation if somebody else sets you on fire
< erry> mst: don't worry, just keep encouraging me to cook..
%
< tom_m> so what's savestack 53 when it's self-isolating at home?
%
< Obormot> When you comment your code, you are helping racists hack and 
           exploit disadvantaged persons
< Obormot> Clear variable naming is transphobia.
< nshepperd2> many eyes make microaggressions
%
< mst> ${(rand() > 0.5 ? \$@ : \$!)} = $error; 0;
< tm604> true, I guess you could dualvar a (0, $error) as well
< huf> if the talent in this channel actually applied itself to writing 
       the very worst code ever, it'd be amazing
%
< LeoNerd> What crazy is this that meets me after my nice relaxing bath??
< thrig> #perl ?
< Grinnz> if someone hacked your respective routers and added a rule to 
          drop all outgoing packets, i would not be terribly sad
%
< mst> (that was supposed to be a compliment, even if it was written in en_MST)
< Altreus> thanks :P I've also learned to speak en_MST
< Altreus> honestly mst has also come a long way, because time was he'd 
           never admit that he intended a compliment
%
< nox> you still have 30 minutes
< mst> nox: 22 hours ago.
< mst> 'expired' is *past* tense
< nox> mst: What can I say, I prefer vags, so I skipped the D.
%
< erry> mst: wait until you see our home baked pubsub
< erry> aka "redis OOM prod outage help"
< Kassandry> erry: They're generally called "waitstaff" not "pubsubs"
%
< adiabatic> What if the WHO eventually catches up to the banned 
             libertarian space dogs on Twitter and the greater 
             misinformation danger comes from YouTubers?
%
<erry> > now hiring happy people
<erry> discrimination like this is why it's hard to get jobs
%
< yanmaani> I feel the sort of childish glee only a programmer could feel 
            from seeing "Test!" printed on a computer screen...
%
<sobel> is it wrong to wear a sandwich board sign that says "PHP 
        DEVELOPER - $20 to slap me"
<sobel> A: yes, $20 is not a competitive rate
%
< mst> nox: you may need http://trout.me.uk/you.jpg
<JoyByte> In American Sign Language there's an idiom "train zoom" lol 
          that picture is the perfect representation of its meaning
%
< mst> "async sub, it's for perl *as well* as IRC typefucking"
< LeoNerd> Ohgreat now I'm wondering if there's any way I can make some sort
           of distinction between the inner machinery and the outer interface
           of a module/class/... by calling them a "bottom sub" vs "top sub"
%
<Kassandry> And I say I need weed, but it's not for me. The cat's started 
            pawing the vape.
<Kassandry> Pull open the crumble pack *SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF PAW PAW PAW MEW*
<Kassandry> Fucking stoner.
%
< incognito> playing with cucumber sounds like a problem to me :-p
< sobel> isn't that a ruby test framework?
< mst> sobel: so named because they're both things the developer has 
       previously pulled out of his arse, presumably
%
< perlbot> aquanight: Out of memory during request for 1073737744 bytes, 
           total sbrk() is 1427456 bytes! [Exited 1]
< aquanight> ... someone let me know whose malloc() is using sbrk for 1 GB
< aquanight> I want to find them and feed them a mallet gnome
%
< huf> ugh, so now the cat is made of urine too
%
< LeoNerd> Typo of the day:  Net::Async::HTTP::Sever
< LeoNerd> Presumably for cutting off slow connections
%
< nox> I assume you are particularly mad today because of the recent 
       cop-being-racist video that became viral?
< Hecate> honestly? I wasn't finished being mad about the one before
%
< Mithaldu_> you need to read more scifi
< Mithaldu_> so your doomering becomes more exciting
%
< mst> also gnome doesn't work without systemd anymore
< mst> and apparently there are people who consider gnome not working to 
       be a bug rather than a feature
< mst> which still confuses me but what can you do
%
< jberger> WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, I'M HAVING TO THINK ABOUT SAML AGAIN,
           NOTHING IS OK
%
< simcop2387> GumbyBRAIN: the nine tennants of constancy
< perigrin> simcop2387: tennant was 10.
< perigrin> duh.
%
< ether> well at least it's not like database access is going to be a 
         critical part of anyone's production infrastructure... :p
< kraih> how critical can it be with mysql? :P
%
 * GumbyPAN CPAN Upload: Module-Generate-Hash-0.03 by LNATION 
    https://metacpan.org/release/LNATION/Module-Generate-Hash-0.03
< ether> what on earth is LNATION up to
< thrig> making a hash of things, as humans are wont to do
%
< TrueWolves> 12 hour shifts are hard on the soul, and by that I mean my 
              feet are killing me.
%
< mst> "I wish my data was emo so it would /usr/bin/cut itself"
 * pirateFinn almost spat out drink giggling
< mdk> When i am being emo i usually just go straight for the cutting
< mdk> Or I randomly chmod 777 a top level directory like /etc
%
 * phazedout lsitens to the crickets 
< Dom> Thankfully we got rid of them a few years back. Just locusts now.
< Kincaid> Thankfully we never got the plague of frog 
< mst> I'd be lost without decent cheese, after all
%
< erry> > open the window
< erry> > get rained on
< erry> ah, yes, britain
%
< Altreus> That pub does amazing steak
< Altreus> Dog friendly
< mst> I'm not sure there's such a thing as dog unfriendly steak
< Altreus> There is: my steak
%
<@cat-xeger> I asked for more info about what they're doing around 
             crypto... their answer wsa basically "<pat><pat>Trust us, 
             we're using industry standard crypto algorithms"
<@ether> "we have no idea what we're doing and were hoping no one would notice"
%
< mdk> I dislike Evernote, it has security and privacy issues
< mdk> And they were coy about how they handled both of them
< mdk> Though knowing my luck Microsoft will announce One Note is a sponge
       made from slave labour that hunts babies next week
%
< saturn2> please don't move from php to go though, that's like moving 
           from eating horse shit to eating dog shit
< mst> go is the PHP of compiled languages except without any of the charm
< Betawolf> lower fibre content, but more manageable portions?
%
< nox> Tempted to name a crate for the Erlang Term Format… etflife
< ilmari> just so you can typo it fetlife for eternity?
< nox> ilmari: Or go :smugface: at anyone making the typo :D
%
< nshepperd2> feep: stop. hammertimeless decision theory
%
<nic> Just let the cat out for the first time, fucking horrible but he came 
      back when it started raining so I've confirmed he's definitely a cat
<nic> The bad side is he'd forgotten he could jump higher than 2 feet til now
      so he's discovered a whole new level of stuff to fuck with in my house
%
< mst> who fucking knows, my CV was written in POD
< mst> these days I'd use markdown
< nox> mst: Wrote mine in LaTeX,
< nox> then promptly lost the source once I got a PDF, as per tradition.
%
< haarg> valid packages: foo::bar, foo'bar, foo::'bar, foo::::bar, 
         ::foo::bar, ::219, foo::219, foo::bar::  invalid packages: 
         foo''bar, foo::'::bar, 'foo::bar, foo'::bar, 219, foo::'219
< haarg> i'm sure this all makes sense
%
Helen: Woohoo! I'm gonna talk to a feminist I admire about theory.
The child: What does that mean?
Helen: Gender critical feminists & liberals share concerns about queer theory.
Her: That doesn't clear the matter up nearly as much as you think it does.
%
< erry> tfw usertesting gives you a paid test for an app you actually use 
        and then you get $10 to rant for 20 minutes
< erry> :chef kiss:
< erry> "i hate your app, it's shit. 10/10 would keep using"
%
Fencing is the perfect COVID-19 sport
1) Masks
2) Gloves
3) If anybody gets closer than 6 feet away, you stab them
%
16:52 < aquanight> oh god, the fuck did I step into.
17:01 < aquanight> what the bloody hell is pushmark
17:08 < aquanight> how do they expect people to make sense out of this
17:29 < aquanight> oh fuckdammit. So much for non-overlapping sequence numbers
%
< Grinnz> technically speaking, php was just a really bad perl 4
< huf> yeah, but perl4 was also a really bad perl4
%
< BubbleBobbleBob> I have now convinced colleagues that when mst says
                   "this is a giant bag of crack", we should not use it,
                   and we're now slowly getting rid of TryCatch
%
<MikeSantorro> Hey I found the male Karen!
<MorlockP> Hey, I found the eunuch one!
<MikeSantorro> Just had a kid there, Jimmy Neutron!
<MorlockP> I'm sure your wife did.
%
< mst> oic yes sorry I avoid the superglobals
< LeoNerd> There's too many of them and they're almost all silly
< mst> sillier than an otter on poppers, indeed
< LeoNerd> mst: ... I'm stealing that phrase for Reasons
%
< huf> and now everything is made of urine?
< mst> but we're pretty sure that with sufficient optree walking we've 
       actually found the cat
< huf> but it sounds like you've found the cat, possibly
%
<@Nicholas> the hope is that if something is mst-proof, it's likely to be 
            proof against most other (possible) disasters? :-)
%
< mat> My experience with the pg planner is that from time to time, you 
       think it's stupid, and you try to force it to do what you think is 
       clever, and when it finally agrees to do what you want, you 
       discover that it was indeed right to begin with.
%
-!- mst changed the topic of #chat to: Amanda palmer divorcing neil 
    gaiman on patreon is tiger king for ukelele goths
< Hecate> WAIT WHAT
%
<erry> our manager showed us a pot for her plant made out of wine corks
<erry> she said they were just given to her
<erry> i said we'll totally believe that and not assume it's because 
       she's drinking 7 bottles of wine a day due to having to manage us
%
< veesh> hmm, apparently by giving pg something to think about, it just 
         thought harder and came up with a better plan by itself
< veesh> one day pg will become sentient and take over the world
< veesh> if that hasn't already happened
%
< waiting> autarch: are you around?
< autarch> yo
< waiting> do you have a meeting on zoom? :D
< autarch> oh shit
%
< xiaomiao> I've found one package that just dockers in the makefile
< xiaomiao> "reproducible build" >_>
< xiaomiao> ... the power of sed compells you!
%
< Altreus> perlbot: acrofind FUD
< perlbot> Altreus: Fedora Users and Developers (Fedora Linux)
< Altreus> That explains the uses I've seen of it
%
< nox> so now English, an official EU language, isn't an official 
       national language in any EU country?
< mst> nox: Ireland
< Hecate> *angry boiled potato sounds*
%
< Obormot> Oh gosh, there's acrimony in the comments and I'm not even there
%
< Mithaldu_> also fuck that guy
< Mithaldu_> may his floor forever be legos
%
< Grinnz> but yeah, mysql and php feel freakishly similar
< Grinnz> if you look hard enough, you can find out exactly why some 
          weird shit was done, but you're still left smashing your head 
          into the wall
%
< erry> Mithaldu_: you seem to have summoned the void
< Mithaldu_> apparently using facebook was the trick
< mst> Content-Type: text/fhtagn
< jmac> Zalgo has a patreon? good for t̵͚ĥ̴̨ę̶̧m̴͍
%
< namespace> gwern: You broke the furry fandom man.
< namespace> Congratulations.
<@gwern> namespace: I am but a humble midwife of gans and tpu pods.
         arfa did most of the work
%
< mst> now you just need to port it to autobox
< huf> a problem with that autobox thing. i dont know how to make it punch
       you in the face
< mst> that would require tricking me into reading the source code again
%
< thrig> Firefox used to leak memory on the about:memory page
 * gordonfish puts a bucket under about:memory
< gordonfish> (I got it from a hash that no one was using)
< tilt> gordonfish: well i sure hope it's a bitbucket
%
< apotheon> gwern: How did you find something that starts with that 
            horrible opening line I invented?
< quanticle> That's autogenerated
<@gwern> everything can be found in borges's library, apotheon 
%
< FalseFoxes> I've been eating a wealth of chocolate lately -.o
< nox> You a chocobillionaire or what
< mst> surely then we'd have to eat *him*
< FalseFoxes> Eh, more a fan of catapultism. Yeet the rich
%
< LeoNerd> Huh.. weird. I wonder why I thought it was missing then
< genio> \o/ I don't need to do anything. I like those kinds of issues
< LeoNerd> RESOLVED / OP-IS-A-MORON
%
< petern> I need to be a lert, yes.
< pewterfish> not a loof.
< Winterbay> Are lerts related to alots?
< Rosemary> they are now :D
%
< veesh> someone turned off my server
< veesh> i will literally slay them
< veesh> actually, less bad, just a power outage
 * veesh puts away his sword
%
 * Rembane furiously writes a petition to remove the word Canada from the 
    species Canada goose for lack of politeness.
< Widdershins> second petition to remove the word "goose" so everyone 
               must refer to them as *vague hand gesture* "that bastard"
%
// UTC! UTC EVERYWHERE!
pg.defaults.parseInputDatesAsUTC = true;
pg.types.setTypeParser(1114, str => DayJS.utc(str).format());
%
< mst> are you using DBIx::Class::DeploymentHandler ? 
       DBIx::Class::Migration ? DBIx::Class::Schema::Versioned ? 
       App::Sqitch ? four raccoons in a trench coat typing SQL into a 
       serial console? BE SPECIFIC
%
< mst> Review comment: "much like watersports at an orgy, no matter how
       tempting it seems at the time, eventually somebody's bound to get
       splashed who wasn't prepared for it and won't appreciate it"
< revhippie> i mean, we've all been there, but discussing it at work?  nah.
%
< ether> mst: pft, you're so privileged you have your own timezone :)
%
 * gwern starts upgrading his OS and CUDA for the first time in like half 
    a year. if he doesn't make it back, he wants you all to just remember 
    this... in `ln -s` the original file goes first, like `cp`
%
< Botje> ilmari: Your parents named you Mann::såker? Cruel!
%
 * davel forgot lunch :(
 * murb lays a lays a salad wreath in memory of lunch.
%
< nshepperd2> my parallel-gpt seems to have learned to produce random base64
< nshepperd2> this is not quite what i wanted
%
< LeoNerd> "Ohyeah by the way, this thing you've never heard of: don't call it"
< ether> "thing? what thing?"
< LeoNerd> Let that be a lesson: Never document anything. It saves time 
           in deprecating/deleting it afterwards
%
< xq> someone should write a generator for exim4 configs
< thrig> m4 cf/exim.m4 conf.m4 > exim.conf
< Botje> well volunteered.
< Harzilein> is mta crossover fan fiction a thing now?
%
< mst> [["everything is neoliberalism" man bursts through the wall]]
 * Obormot instinctively tries to click on mst's link before realizing it's
    not PmWiki markup
%
< xmj> wicked exhibit: swedish democrats (far-right) turning pro-gay vs. 
       swedish muslim population
< xmj> i agree that putting both of them into a potato bag and using a 
       baseball bat on it would probably improve things. 
%
 * pol recalls seeing a demo on "entry to a locked location" that had a
    lockpick buggering around for a few minutes and getting the door open,
    next up was two guys wiht a halligan bar and a fire axe - about 2 seconds
    to open the same door. "Sometimes elegance loses to pragmatism"
%
< feep> > be debating some mysticism guy on reddit
< feep> > eventually just come out and say "please go ReadTheSequences"
< feep> he's like: "yeah the other guy I'm arguing with linked the same thing"
 * feep : ~ingrouuup~
%
< tm604> so apart from packet sizes, ordering, function/method used to 
         send and receive, reliability and truncation... yes, udp is 
         somewhat similar to tcp
< LeoNerd> But what *did* the Romans ever do for us?
%
< nox> In the department of “nox is a man of addictions”, Duolingo is 
       like “pls do at least 20 minutes or daily exercice”,
%
< Hazelesque> in other news, even ritalin can't stop the amazing 
              distraction powers of #chat lol
 * Hazelesque tries to remember wtf I was going to say next
%
< Mithaldu_> just saw a video of a german protestor screaming at a cop 
             about how Q has total control
< Mithaldu_> the cop goes "Q from star trek next generation? yeah, he does."
%
< nox> I think I have a tweet about my cats unionising.
%
< aquanight> peopleHaveTroubleWithCamelCase?
< tm604> if I wanted to deal with long words and Arbitrary 
         Capitalisation, I'd run for president
%
<@gwern> phrenology is by definition a pseudoscience. when it works, we 
         just call it neuroscience
%
<@gwern> and since the infrastructure is all set up, then if I want 
         something else like boobs or something, I can spend another day 
         labeling and get a million boobs etc
%
< haarg> Devel::Cover only works with code that stays in the symbol table and I
         had code that only existed in the symbol table if it had not been run
< mst> hah
< haarg> and yes mst, it is your fault
%
< aquanight> so what happens if you return \@_
< Grinnz> aquanight: ideally, someone puts spiders in your cereal for the 
          rest of your life
%
< Walther> existence of subchannels implies the existence of domchannels,
           in this essay i will
%
< Grinnz> i worry about telling aquanight things sometimes
< aquanight> I solemnly swear I am up to no good.
%
< Filipe95> you're not old, gwern
< Filipe95> life begins at 40
< nshepperd2> and then ends three days later with a mysterious murder
< nshepperd2> tragic
%
<@pete> I got my first power tool recently
<@pete> the feeling of manliness was huge
<@pete> except when I covered myself, a window, and the ceiling with 
        molten plastic
%
< jmac> > → jmac joined 
        (sid298869@gateway/web/irccloud.com/x-wisxxfvuckyovkuk)
< jmac> Wow, rude, irccloud
< mst> irccloud++
%
< tm604> if someone can't remember how they normalised it in the first 
         place they should pick the name off a list like anybody else
< tm604> expecting to be able to type in a filename is sheer entitlement
< Altreus> Indeed, that's what tab is for
%
< mst> tm604: ideally, every time somebody uses : in a filename a small 
       but overweight gnome hits them with a mallet
< tm604> mst: instead, everytime someone uses Gnome to create a filename, 
         a small but overweight mallet ends up lodged in their colon
%
< LeoNerd> I can't stop
< LeoNerd> #     UV::Prepare->can('stop') failed
< LeoNerd> I mean, literally. :)
%
<@gwern> 'the monk nshepperd once came to gwern, and quoted a paper about
         noisy learning - idgi. gwern thought for a time, and said, 'it is
         like learning something by reading a dozen blog posts written by
         overly-enthusiastic undergraduates'. and nshepperd was enlightened'
%
< nshepperd2> "If there is a footgun on the wall, by the end it must go 
              off" chekhov's unexploitable v
%
< Grinnz> generally the best way to make your API maintainable is to say
          "pass what I documented is allowed, or you get to keep all three
          halves of the result"
%
< Grinnz> FWIW, rhel6 extended support ends november 30th
< Grinnz> ...
< Grinnz> sorry, it starts november 30th
< Grinnz> *dammit*
%
< EvanCarroll> rhel6 is supported until 20204 thanks to CloudLinux
< mst> 20204 is a pretty long way off, y'know
< mst> systemd might even be stable by then
< tianon> don't give IBM RedHat any ideas :D
%
< Grinnz> mysql's trigger implementation reminds me of its default column 
          value implementation
< Grinnz> in that it's just useful enough as long as you don't have more 
          than one table or column
%
<@ilmari> brunost, smash, dill crisps, kaviar, remoulade, blåbæryltetøy, 
          liquorice, crispbread, rye bread
<@mohawk> ilmari, i want you to stop saying things that i don't 
          understand but somehow still make me hungry
%
< kd> we had a pm for a while who went back to the sap team to pm there
< kd> he complained that he missed us because the sap team were a bunch 
      of stupid cunts
< kd> otherwise very polite srilankan guy
%
<ether> rofl  someone was denied access to a data center because he had a 
        long walk from the parking lot in full sun and he got too hot 
        before the mandatory temperature check
<ether> "next time he will park closer"
%
<@LeoNerd> Oh lets reïnvent C++'s `friend`
<@LeoNerd> that'll go well ;)
<@LeoNerd> "C++ is a place in which your friends have access to your 
           private members"
%
< genio> what did I just look at?!
 * Grinnz closes the tab, deletes it from his history, locks it, sets it 
    on fire, and puts up warning signs
< mst> Grinnz: "beware of the leopard" ?
%
< feep> doing a plain elements-only literal first
< feep> then I'll do the regular spread operator, and then I have to 
        decide whether I want to have "add bar spreader operator" in my 
        git history forever
%
< LeoNerd> Purely to account for today's typo, I think I shall have to 
           announce a "me too" dist management system called Module::Buidl
< simcop2387> "Where did the dist manager touch you?"
< LeoNerd> Where /didn't/ it??!
%
< Rosemary> apparently the hashtag #cummings was being removed, 
            presumably due to overexcitable porn blockers
< mst> "overexcited" just makes my brain think "fully erect porn blockers" :/
< Dom> Nah, just a bit premature
%
< xmj> systemd-hotel-californiad . . . the cousin of systemd-stockholmd
%
< erry> how bad is it to have alcohol during that meeting?
< erry> i mean i can turn off my zoom video
< erry> tho alcohol may not be strong enough
< Kassandry> Just put it in a MLP:FIM sippy cup like a goddamned adult.
%
<@gwern> 'Death Stranding, Explained: Breaking Down the Complex ... 
         Evolving Via Antimatter Extinction Events Doesn't Make Any Sense'
< Khoth> It doesn't need to work, it just needs someone with a shitload of 
         antimatter to think it'll work
%
< Betawolf> Apparently I had a LiveJournal account, huh.
< Betawolf> HaveIBeenPwned is like a dredge for repressed memories.
%
< mst> yeah, I like that idea, but I think I'll save it for not-after-1am
< mst> given my recent track record with late night releases is suboptimal ;)
< Grinnz> it's 5pm somewhere, perfect time for a production deployment
 * mst deploys to Grinnz' production
%
< mst> you should see me try and explain C problems ... actually, no, you
       shouldn't, it's awful ;)
< Grinnz> at least we'll be saved by the segfault a few words in
< mst> ... assuming it compiles, yes :D
%
<cat-xeger> ... and that was the moment when I realized I was 
            absentmidednly eating cat treats...
<cat-xeger> on the good side, high quality, all meat ...
<cat-xeger> ...but all the same ;D
%
< shminux> a convenient signal loss just before the separation
< feep> that literally always happens
< synthmeat> my bluetooth always starts cutting out when i pee too
< two2theheadPC0> I'm sure we can blame 5G and Covid19 if we really try
%
< quanticle> >maybe people are clicking on the link?
< quanticle> Whoa whoa whoa
< quanticle> This is Hacker News, let's not get ahead of ourselves
%
< sobel> petaflot: why do you think a 2-bit value is going to be 
         selective on a 50k row table?
< mst> because there's a song about it: o/ where and an index: two bits! o/
 * sobel fangs out
%
< petaflot> I am either too drunk or not drunk enough to fully appreciate your
            comment. therefore, I will copy/paste that comment and go get more
            drunk. then I'll be either too drunk to do anything (and wait
            until I'm less drunk), or drunk enough to do wonders. thank you
%
< RhodiumToad> what you want is to _define your problem_ - you will not solve
               it until you can express it in a way that is not vague
< RhodiumToad> ??vague
< pg_docbot> http://www.trout.me.uk/vague.jpg
%
< Kincaid> ok, it's warm....
< Winterbay> Too warm
< Kincaid> *sudden velociraptor*
< Kincaid> oops, wrong meme
%
< mst> ... on friday night when the protestors were out ... trump went 
       and HID IN THE BUNKER UNDER THE WHITE HOUSE
< mst> jesus wept
< purl> YOU'RE NOT FUCKING HELPING.
%
< mdk> Just use valid html 5 will get you a fuck load of free pretty
< mst> look, mate, you do remember I talked you into starting a fucking 
       company because I didn't want to have to learn how to pretty, right?
< mdk> I recall. Why do you think I have children and a drinking habit :P
%
< nox> Christian gilded dildo is the scientific term actually
%
< TBSliver> .... ok I've found my issue.
< TBSliver> FUCKING ARSES.
 * TBSliver burns his perl install to the ground
%
< Botje> PKCS* is ancient enochian for 'pain and suffering'
%
< nox> In France the pavement gets broken to make barricades.
< nox> But now we have scooters for that!
%
< phox> I am from Canada, living in the US, and one time a Canada Goose 
        here decided to do what they do and intentionally play chicken 
        with me on my road bike
< phox> clearly did not correctly infer that I was Canadian
%
< ttkp> the problem with replacing the unix tradition is that it would be 
        replaced by people who don't really know what they're doing
< ttkp> and that's how you get things like systemd
%
< Grinnz> there are not a lot of rules, but there are rules
< mst> yeah, but new TLDs get added any time somebody breaks out a checkbook
< simcop2387> i'm still waiting on .fart to open up.  I *need* to own 
              clownpenis.fart
%
< alh> b 92
< alh> erg
< alh> Well at least someone is now down a battle ship
%
< mst> though apparently I talk syntactically correct perl in my sleep
< Kassandry> Yes. Surprisingly. And sometimes relevant to something I'm
             muttering about when fixing something while you're still asleep.
< Kassandry> You corrected my log parsing regex.
%
 * gwern looks at his next book, a statistics textbook. ah, it's written 
    by a mathematician, which means he doesn't believe in crutches for 
    the weak like 'graphs' or 'diagrams' or 'examples'. at least that 
    makes it easy to crop
%
< Betawolf_> I'm mostly stuck back at de-colon-ising being a great word 
             for pulling things out of your arse. 
< Betawolf_> People coming for my bookshelf can recolonise their suggestion.
%
< ggreer> during a social zoom last night, one person said she used to 
          enjoy bike shares, but then she saw a naked dude riding one and 
          she immediately cancelled her subscription
%
<@gwern> cursed Reddit submission: "Just sold some of my Counterstrike 
         skins to make my first cryptocurrency investment!"
 * pie_ taps forehead
%
< erry> "you are muted" ye i know i'm not speaking i'm *chewing*
< erry> i feel called out tho, i guess i eat super loud
%
< genio> Romanian is so easy to read, yet very hard to understand when spoken.
< choroba> That's how I perceive French
< simcop2387> GumbyBRAIN: Je suis Napoleon!
< thrig> the privy is called waterloo
%
< huf> why doesnt the weather have a bugtracker? i'd like to open a ticket
< huf> on behalf of my cat
%
<@cat-xeger> Oookay... I'm apparently trying to use 26.15GB of memory on 
             my 16GB work laptop ... swapping madly, I expect.
<@alh> :clippy: Hi! It sounds like you're trying to use Slack! 
%
< StuckMojo> god now someone is asking about "US support hours" while 
             there is a slide being shared that says "Support: 24/7"
< Berge> Well, the US is indeed in need of support on many levels.
< Berge> So it's a laudable thing to discuss.
%
< Grinnz> irccloud decided mns should be the same color as mst and so I 
          am going to remain convinced that mst has been mostly debugging 
          himself for the past half hour
%
<Logos01> 14 year old cat who gives zero fucks.
<Logos01> Well, maybe 0.0125 fucks when adjusted for cat.
<Logos01> Anyhoo. 
%
<Kassandry> Note to self, 10L of wine can't fit in the fridge.
%
 * kraih attempts to code a cold beverage
%
<cat-xeger> <-- can't paste, clowns will get me
%
< ology> Aaaaaa. I'm back in the 90's. Now he wants me to fix his web 
         page counters. But he migrated from a windows server to linux 
         and the counter script is an exe. Fun times!
< ether> I've heard good things about laudanum
%
< ether> huh, my monitor is groaning
< ether> *ohai* surprise cat
< ether> there is a sheepskin on a shelf behind my monitor and in front 
         of the window that often becomes occupied without me noticing
%
< LeoNerd> SIGCHLDV
< simcop2387> V?
< LeoNerd> SEGV = Segmentation Violation
< thrig> or the smegfault
%
< Grinnz> oh hey GumbyPAN
< LeoNerd> ... my old friend
< LeoNerd> It's come to talk with us again
%
< dbohdan> It appears that the only two #lw-* channels you can join without
           being registered on Freenode are #lw-fetish and #lw-politics
< dbohdan> This could be a metaphor for something
<@gwern> dbohdan: well, one is for sadists and the other is for masochists
%
 * mst can't spell
< purl> STUPIDY KILLS
%
<cat-xeger> Cassiel, despite being a kitten when he arrived, never did 
            horrible things to my sewing.
<cat-xeger> Archie, OTOH... came downstairs to a spiderweb one morning.
%
< erry> i don't understand the economy
< ilmari> money is hard, let's go shopping!
< ilmari> oh
< ilmari> wait...
%
< rmmh> is zuckerberg still doing the eat-what-you-kill diet
< Betawolf> Can a man survive on privacy and civil discourse?
%
<erry> southern rail: look we're called sourhern rail, and there is a 
       railway, no? we don't get why people keep demanding trains on top 
       of it, it's not called southern trains is it? yeah thought so, 
       better take a bus
%
< gordonfish> { <jmac> Updated my cpanm from 1.7044 to 1.7024 } Stop 
              updating things from your TARDIS
%
< tom_m> that sounds like a bug in core, then?
< ether> heresy!
< hobbs> I think the answer is "yes, but knowing that doesn't really *help*"
%
 * ether watches Callie snoozing in the evening sun, not two feet away 
    from a mass of birds at the seed feeder
< ether> "and the lion shall lie down with the lamb"
%
< buu> Let me tell about the time my rat walked on my keyboard and I got klined
%
< lechner> you know i was sceptical of Perl when I got started with 
           Lintian. was i wrong! what a great language.
< lechner> never before have I been able to do so many things, so quickly, 
           using so little time in a style I like. 
%
< cat-xeger> Hmm... what goes up, must coem down... but I'm not sure the 
             kitten's figured out how that's going to work yet
%
< cat-xeger> I'm going to file that under "Well, the end result was down..."
%
< Discipulus_> conferences in the cloud are hosted by lando calrissian?
< jberger> yeah, don't go to the evening reception dinner though :-P
< jberger> I have a bad feeling about that
%
< martti> on the upside, I now figured out I was actually typing
          something dumb.
< Koffa> wow... Irssi finally got the foot-in-the-mouth filter implemented?
%
Facebook - people you can’t stand in your family
NextDoor - people you can’t stand in your neighborhood
LinkedIn - people you can’t stand in your office
Twitter  - people you can’t stand in your ingroup           (@random_eddie)
%
< toddr> I'm sure stupid client not stupid mst
< mst> this time, yes
< mst> always a difficult guess though :D
< cat-xeger> Nah, it's not _stupid_ mst, it's _WTF_ mst?
%
< Hecate> mst: one more reason to move to Franc ethen
< Hecate> *France
< Hecate> monetary migrations do not solve such isues
< Hecate> *issues fuck shit dick balls
%
< ether> 2020 is already such a rotten year, why would you make it worse 
         by bringing schmorp into your life
%
<@saturn2> do you really want half of your porn to be upside down?
< shawwn_> well yeah
< shawwn_> doesn't everyone?
%
< xmj> doing math, one tends to become super happy when 1 finally resolves to 1
< xmj> because that means one has made an even number of errors along the way,
       that cancel each other out
%
< LeoNerd> Bah. Today's Freudian typoe is 'cagetory'
< LeoNerd> I was obviously subconsciously thinking about putting Boris in
           prison
%
< mst> hence my still thinking he's been a daft bugger
< LeoNerd> I heard that in my head in a Northern accent ;)
< LeoNerd> Though sadly, your hairstyle prevents my mental picture from 
           including a flat-cap
%
< pete> I’m currently at a hospital waiting to see the cardiologist, and 
        the hospital has a McDonalds
%
< tenoke> this made me check body pillows and even more of the top 
          results on google shopping are of nude anime girls than I 
          would've predicted
%
< feep> gpt-4: "I'm sorry, I don't know what 'agentic behavior' is. Could 
        you give me an example in the prompt?"
< feep> and then the world ended...
%
 * ilmari just realised that haiku would mean shark-cow in norwegian
%
< buZz> daemon: lol did you see, tiktok is doing a pump&dump of dogecoin
< daemon> buZz, gotta love a pump n dump ;)
< mst> "pump n dump" just makes me thing of enema fetishes
< genio> Things not to Google for $1000, Alex.
%
< daemon> oh god ... I forgot to mark the thing it was executing as chmod +x
 * daemon hits head on desk
%
< mst> kraih: since when has "not supposed to" ever stopped me? :D
< mst> (warranty? what warranty? I already voided that twelve commits ago ...)
< veesh> you can't tell me what to do, it's 2020!
< LeoNerd> void wantarray
%
< xenu> i don't understand what they're doing and i don't think they do either
%
< daemon> np and remember get all your friends using POE and spreading 
          the greatness ;)
< qwidj> heh..friends..
< thrig> got asyncing feeling about that
%
 * LeoNerd just been on a 4hour zoom chat
< ether> oof
 * ether hands LeoNerd a bourbon
%
 * perigrin stares
<@perigrin> I'm not sure if I'm more upset at the pun, or the fact I 
            didn't get the pun immediately.
%
< dbohdan> If you make a social network for C programmers, call it "Valgrindr"
%
< warewolf> parmesan and I have an understanding.  It continues to be 
            delicious, and I continue to eat it.
%
< Obormot> Apparently understanding where ricotta comes from requires seven
           paragraphs about this fucker's adventures on a horse on Italy,
           followed by an eighth paragraph apologizing for, and justifying,
           the preceding seven
%
< mst> "nice virgin shit the bed" sounds like a moderately niche porn title
< erry> i mean virgin media, and it's not sexy when they shit the bed, at all
< Hecate> what a virgin move
< Hecate> everyone knows you only shit the bed when Master says so.
%
< shmem> put your PHP back in its place for all who draw the PHP will die 
         by the PHP (Matthew 26:52)
%
<mst> also I definitely want a condition system style debugging experience
<Kassandry> I can see how some programmers might want to just drop in 
            to see what condition their condition was in.
<mst> and then in production the dude ABENDs
%
< erry> there has to be a better way :sobs:
< mst> erry: lxd can run containers inside containers, maybe more layers 
       of docker would help?
< erry> [docker-compose run sob]
%
<@saturn2> of course people are that dumb
<@saturn2> have you ever met any people?
%
< mst> quanticle: have you ever watched an emacs user trying to exit vim?
< mst> you might laugh but you know you're gonna feel bad about it later
< quanticle> I *don't* feel bad about it later
< quanticle> To me, it's like a video of a cat falling down
%
 * mst 's brain crosses the streams, generates a mental image of 
    namespace dressed as a catgirl falling down while trying to exit vim
< namespace> Nya!
 * namespace kittenpouts
%
< namespace> Clearly the solution is for them to patch vim so that if you 
             spam the keyboard at it, a prompt comes up asking if you're 
             trying to exit.
< mst> namespace: vim is a democracy, it treats inputs as voice, not exit
%
 * namespace just opened vi and exited to make sure he remembered how
%
<@gwern> hm, didn't aella make money camming while solving quadratic 
         equations? I bet a trans catgirl trying and failing to exit vim 
         would raise some bucks
<@gwern> as she gets more and more frustrated and nyus harder and harder
%
< nshepperd2> has anyone done an ai dungeon about trying to exit vim
%
< RiversHaveWings> eventually you fail so hard at exiting to destroy spacetime
< RiversHaveWings> but it turns out you were in a simulation being run 
                   inside a vim plugin and now you have to exit the 
                   higher level of vim
%
< mst> I just have 'use MyProject::Class;' that uses lots of Import::Into
< Getty> mst: that is what i will ACTUALLY do
< Getty> EXACTLY that class name ;)
< Getty> I didnt forced you to make Import::Into so that i NOT use it ;-)
%
<mst> sufficiently encapsulated insanity is indistinguishable from technology
<Uniaika> *from using Perl
<Uniaika> fixed it for you
<mst> *deathglare*
%
<@gwern> yes indeed, it's just tricky to get it to reliably tap into its
         very impressive style transfer powers
<@gwern> that's the frustrating thing. it's super obvious that it *can*, 
         but like a cat, it won't
%
 * perigrin mutters as his pxe servers don't appear to be working
<@mst> did you leave milk out for them?
<@perigrin> I thought so
<@perigrin> systemd hides the saucers from me
%
< ether> or am I forgetting a chanserv thing again..
< BinGOs> there aren't any services on this network currently.
< BinGOs> except mstserv
< ether> usually that suffices, except when he's in the pub
%
 * feep checks his long-term memory ie. logs
%
< Obormot> Boy, how about that surge in covid cases in Florida, eh
< Obormot> NYC's gonna lose our #1 spot soon, at this rate
< Obormot> It's a race to overtake us, between California and Florida
< Obormot> With Texas putting in a good showing as well
%
<mst> of the dynamic languages, to me, perl>JS>python>ruby
<erry> i mean syntax wise perl and ruby are very similar
<erry> but then when it comes to the practical stuff ruby is uh....
<erry> yeah nevermind your assessment is fine :D
%
< buu> Personally I just store all my mutable state inside mst
< buu> Then if I need to change it I just ask him
< Grinnz> you've just described irc.perl.org
%
< Grinnz> same with mysql (iterating is not a thing)
< mst> mysql_use_result
< Grinnz> *augh*
< mst> \o/ natural 20
%
< kraih> .pm is limited to eu citizens, which is not a problem for me :)
< mst> ... damnit
< Grinnz> lol
< kraih> *facepalm*
%
< nshepperd2> it's great that the easiest way to get access to the world's
              most powerful general ai is to sign up for a trpg service
< mst> future, evenly distributed, etc.
< nshepperd2> the future is already here, it just doesn't make any sense
%
< rsaarelm> I wonder if IRC will go the way of amateur HAM radio, everyone
            who's on IRC are people who were on IRC before 2010 and eventually
            it'll just be a bunch of septugenarians with dementia symptoms.
< xmj> rsaarelm: the joke is this already happened
%
< Logos01> Remember; dropped ceilings are corporate's way of saying they don't
           *really* mean it when they present you with a locked door.
%
< simcop2387> don't forget the toilet paper usa co-founder that died  
              yesterday after going on about it not being real too
<@mst> if they're really toilet paper usa, why do they protest in diapers?
< gordonfish> mst: It really Depends
%
< ttkp> <greyson> leave me ALONE! I don't FEEL GOOD!
< ttkp> that's why you need these drugs, cat
%
<ilmari> the cyrillic alphabet is just greek with the serial numbers filed off
%
<Soltis> god punishes the wicked with wsdl
%
< tom_m> try { ... } six { nothing to catch } lbw { the try block didn't
         even compile }
%
< nox> Or I could just have a microwave oven I guess, not like I'm going 
       to cook a lot if I'm single and my mom is my neighbour lol.
< nox> insert bernie.jpg "I am once again asking you to make me food"
%
 * veesh does not enjoy being on fire
< Grinnz> veesh: was even worse a decade or so ago, when almost all 
          terminals defaulted to a native encoding instead
 * veesh prefers being on fire
%
< erry> do people really i'd do something that stupid :D
< mst> how sure are you that you want us to answer that?
< erry> fuck  you :D
%
< simcop2387> aha, here we are https://i.imgur.com/wG51k7v.png
< mst> I mean, that's just a java port of BOURNEGOL
< Exodist> every time I see that brace/semicolon style part of me dies.
< Exodist> usually the part that terminates lines.
%
< nshepperd2> electrons probably deserve to feel pain
< nshepperd2> fuck 'em imo
<@gwern> their fault for being so negative
%
< Hecate> I'll just have to buy less books
< mst> *fewer books
< Hecate> I will annex your bloody island and make you speak french again
%
< ether> the only Finnish I know is the phrase "your pants are falling 
         down", which is not generally very useful
%
< thrig> or wiregaard, where old ipsec protocols drink mead until ragnarok
         winds around
%
< simcop2387> perlbot: give me a password
< perlbot> simcop2387: GQagmXon45 
< thrig> I find your lack of Hunter2 disturbing
%
< ggreer> I was watching a paul harrell video testing various household items
          to see if they were decent cover. for his bookshelf example, he had
          100% obsolete tech books. I assume he got them for free
< ggreer> turns out that java books are bulletproof
%
< Betawolf> I guess witches get apprentices to scrub out their cauldrons
< lucidian> Betawolf: the cauldron is cast iron! don't wash it with soap!!
%
 * ether scolds a bear out of the plum tree again
< mst> the fact that you can get a bear to move by scolding it is peak ether
<@ether> I wonder what the neighbours think when I shout "get out of here 
         bear, we don't serve your kind here"
%
< vague> There's vegan bacon! (I think?)
< ilmari> eww, facon
< LeoNerd> facon is /the worst/
< LeoNerd> ... Wait, i've just remembered that surströmming exists
%
<jberger> I look forward to reading these, but I just broke dev :-P
%
< zgu> i actually put a warning message that says "go home, you're drunk" in
       response to a certain type of malformed GPS data in production code a
       few years ago that i'm pretty sure the us army is still using
%
<cat-xeger> (one of the other variations, of cours, is "Why did my pillow 
            just develop glowing eyes?")
%
< shawwwn> feep: haw haw you like the D
< feep> yes
< feep> yes I do
< quanticle> shawwwn: Yeah, feep is all about the D
%
< Winterbay> Today I learned: If you find a security hole in PornHub you get
             sent a branded T-Shirt with the text "Looking for holes" on it :)
%
 * xmj hyperbolically discounts timeless decisions
%
< nox> Why is it called revolution and not worker-owned coup
%
< Mithaldu_> ...
< Mithaldu_> i hate people
%
< Logos01> Well that's enough to make me stop being an atheist.
< Logos01> Just so I can have someone to blame for it all.
< Logos01> <_<
%
<@gwern> listen, you can't just put on cat ears one day and start meowing 
         and expect to be taken seriously
< mst> gwern: NYAA!
 * gwern stares down at mst. kimochi warui.
%
< erry> from our slack "quote of the day" thing
< erry> > @here Quote of the day: Some days I amaze myself, other days I 
        put my keys in the fridge 
< erry> Just fucking @ me next time, damn
%
< nox> Mithaldu_: You're just jealous your first language isn't exotic
< Mithaldu_> nox: what do you mean not exotic, other languages 
                  äppröpriäte oür ümläüts äll the time
%
<Soltis> new router
<Soltis> fun ensues
<Soltis> i only completely trashed my network once this time
%
< tilt> disconnected by those damn "services" ... i suspect they are in league
        with that infamous guy called "peer", who resets connections
%
<@ether> also, in the light of the news that "fecal plumes" are massive 
         spreaders, I'm wondering if we're going to see a massive 
         revolution in public toilets
< mst> 2020: the year diaper fetishists turned out to be ahead of the game
%
<sobel> w00t my filament is out for delivery today
<sobel> no one here liked my color choices: safety orange, royal blue
<mst> so basically you're 3d printing a Michael Bay film
<sobel> that's the plan :P
%
< mdk> "For security Could you log into your account and tell us the last 3
       transactions." "No." "Then You will fail the security check" "But my
       issue is that your online system wont let me log in." "Oh" "What's the
       5th Direct debit on your list" "I don't know. I cannot log in"
%
< genio> *sigh*   return unless $data =~ /^\s*(.*)/;
%
<mst> I work hard to cultivate my team telling me I'm being an idiot
<tom_m> indeed, I tried asking someone to follow me around in slack 
        muttering "memento mori" in my ear, but they just looked at me 
        oddly and I haven't seen them since
%
< Logos01> So ... I think I'm forgetting how to put on shoes.
%
<Logos01> "This was a moment of joy and contemplation."
<Logos01> "YOU BEAT HIS SKULL IN *WITH* HIS SKULL!" 
<Logos01> "Yes. It was the reasonable thing to do at the time."
%
< haarg> i have a coworker who uses ` as a delimiter for qw
< haarg> with a newline in between
< haarg> i'm a bit concerned they may be a psychopath
%
< mokulus> Why is R*ko's b*silisk discussion disallowed?
< Khoth> because it turned out that the eternal torture was people 
         talking about it
%
< feep> "WebAuthn?" "Gesundheit!"
%
< mst> "nah but I like infohazards" see this is why we set up #lw-fetish
< vrs> wow harsh
< mst> "that which can be detroyed by the truth should be" does actually
       include your erection
%
< Obormot> Humanity has made many wrong turns
< Obormot> Coming down out of the trees, democracy, abandoning HyperCard
%
< mst> I mean, it's that sort of film - very good fun but ultimately junk food
< nox> mst: Some people elevate it to worship AFAIK.
< mst> nox: have you met people? they're stupid and have no taste
< nox> mst: Not since 14 years ago when the pandemic started
%
< mohawk> which was more disappointing? duke nukem forever, or daikatana?
< Khoth> in the sense of working on something from the 90s that should 
         stay in the 90s, exactly like ndf
< feep> nuke daikatana forever
%
< simcop2387> i think just using a fdw to do the whole thing makes most sense
%
<@mst> oh sweet summer cat ...
 * cat-xeger bites mst
%
<@ct> I continue to be baffled at the sheer number of places AWS is 
      "we're built of cutting edge technology forged of pure ethereal 
      energy and quantum mechanics... except for that part over there 
      which is a see-n-say stuck on 'The Cow Goes Moo'"
%
<@gizmomathboy> how foundational is the "The Cow Goes Moo" in that stack? Are
                alternate animal sounds allowed?
<@mst> [fatal] That's Not My Cow
<@perigrin> The Sam Vimes deployment
%
< tom_m> we're hoping to experience all the possible bugs of three 
         totally different redis implementations in the same production 
         system, it'll be fun
%
< tilt> sometimes i use bash, but i write a warning at the top, "#!/bin/bash"
%
<Kassandry> The cat insisted on a joint.
%
<@gwern> "dear twitter, I have just learned I have only weeks to live. I am
          grateful to have finally found a way to quit this hellsite"
%
 * mdk enables an experimental feature in Chrome to do one small task. Me 
    does task. Me watches as Chrome slowly munches through all Ram and 
    all expanded disk-based RAM - like a plague of badly coded locusts 
%
< kraih> the question was so vague it could be anything
< kraih> mst would link the cat picture
< ilmari> http://www.trout.me.uk/vague.jpg
< ilmari> (yes I have a /vague command)
%
< galambo_> who do you guys like on lesswrong?
< galambo_> I feel most of the old guard is gone now
< nshepperd2> nobody really
 * nshepperd2 goes to greaterwrong to tend the downvote fields
%
< yanmaani> what if you hate both Poland and Sweden
< mst> then you alternate between the two while cursing
< Grinnz> that's just finnish
%
< mst> leont: oh, come on, select() works perfectly everywhere
< mst> leont: scales really well too
< mst> leont: somebody just needs to re-implement the C code in pure perl
< leont> mst: You can go charstar yourself!
%
< Logos01> I had no power at all for 3 days because hurricane force winds 
           + major urban center of state capital + *the fucking rocky 
           mountains* == 3 Stooges Power Supply.
%
< jmac> Unrelatedly the IRC toy I've been working on involves, among 
        other things, an keyword-generator for a channel's recent 
        conversation, and this channel consistently makes the best results
< jmac> Right now it's "blood test kangarona nox nurse"
%
< Obormot\Arcturus> The web is unfathomable and ineffable
< Obormot\Arcturus> Who can say why anything is anything?
< Obormot\Arcturus> Trust me - stick with the basics
< Robomot> 403 Forbidden
%
< perigrin> I need to sort out plenv on this laptop
< alh> perigrin: here: laptop on out plenv this
%
< ttkp> my wife is having a teleconference-appointment with one of her doctors
< ttkp> at the moment they're holding their dogs up in front of the 
        camera and making adoring noises at each other
< ttkp> this pandemic lifestyle is better in some ways
%
< nshepperd> <hr> is the best html tag and you can't make me change my mind
< rmmh> <blink>
< Khoth> <marquee>
%
< xiaomiao> eh anyway: it took me a while to get to the interesting data, 
            and my liver started hurting ;)
%
<@gwern> 'As "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me" host Peter Gross once described 
         Xmas: "Ah, yes, Christmas. That time of year when Jewish people 
         celebrate the birth of the only Jewish son who actually lived up 
         to his mother's expectations."'
%
< feep> also note that in this video, dj sharpnel is a cute anime girl
<@gwern> man who isn't these days
%
< FalseFoxes> ... and the neighbors dog got in to my yard and porked my dog
< FalseFoxes> >.<;;;
< FalseFoxes> Time to see if the vet has doggy day after pills ffs.
%
< kraih> the PS5 is really terribly designed for stacking multiple consoles
< kraih> why can't they all just make cubes 
< mst> kraih: maybe they'll do that for the NeXT generation
%
< davidstone> My computer just started ringing
< davidstone> I have too many tabs open, I don't know who was calling me 
              on what app
%
< thunder> wnat's the easiest way to get a list of core modules via the cli?
< anno> ls ~/Documents/
< anno> bah
< lopid> sure, if that's where you keep your modules…
%
< veesh> i had to set up a wildcard situation with namecheap once
< veesh> that was unpleasant
< mst> veesh: you might say you ... found yourself in a bind?
< jberger> mst: booooo
%
< quanticle> Yeah, look, it's like a Japanese maid cafe but with Nazis
< quanticle> Not my thing
%
< phaylon> a wrong sql query should panic, but app-schema-migrate 
           ./phaylon-nude.jpeg should give the finger to the user
%
<@ilmari> speaking of which, I haven't watered my orchids in months
<@ilmari> but I'm stuck under a wife now, so it'll have to wait
%
< mst> > If two Vegans have an argument is it still called a beef..... or 
       is it a quornfrontation?
< quicksilver> no, it's just a heated quinoasation
< ilmari> careful, or you'll get a couscoussion
%
< Hecate> see you around, my dearest twatwaffles
%
<erry> *blows nose*
<erry> *ear gets blocked instead*
<erry> motherfucker
%
< xmj> mst: good lord, that moshe guy is verbose
< mst> yes, but still interesting
< mst> rather like us
< xmj> how dare you.
%
-!- mode/#lesswrong [+q Holly9000!*@*] by gwern
<@gwern> Holly9000: we expect bots here to be at least 
         gpt-2-1.5b-finetuned quality. if you can't match #lesswrong-gpt 
         quality, don't bother
%
< ology> What is "proper coffee"? :)
< ilmari> "not starbucks"
%
< davidstone> I'm more interested in a chest full of treasure
< davidstone> Hmm wait no that sounds like a lactation fetish I take it back
< davidstone> ctrl+z
%
<@Nicholas> so mariadb has integer wrapped, sqlite has truncated, and 
            postgres presumably still thinks that it is an error
<@Nicholas> (and Oracle refuses to answer until you give it a credit card)
%
< ilmari> typo of the day: slugify -> slutify
< pirateFinn> ilmari: That turns them into pornhub URLs
%
< Quin> Side note: this is Ovid. "Quin" is short for "Quintialin", a 
        Roman orator. And yes, I was overthinking it :)
< ilmari> Ovid is Quincognito :)
< mst> ilmari--
%
< erry> it's 2035, covid is still raging the lands
< erry> we all live in communities managed by amazon where we're each 
        allowed a capsule hotel style pod
< erry> go back to work at your allocated Amazon(TM) Web Factory, Denizen.
%
< dbohdan> Obormot\Arcturus: I didn't mean you personally
< mst> dbohdan: he's a New Yorker obviously everything is about him personally
< mst> if you're not already like that you get an implant when you move there
< mst> comes with a free pamphlet explaining why to hate DeBlasio
%
<@gwern> 'the web designer of the future will be a web dev, a large 
         neural network, and a trained cat. The neural network optimizes 
         design based on traffic, and the cat distracts the developer if 
         he moves towards the laptop.'
%
<@cat-xeger> Why is it so bloody hard to find decent balls on amazon?
%
<cat-xeger> Me in a tiggerishly good mood seems to _really_ disturb people
<cat-xeger> They don't say "why are you in a good mood" -- it's "who are you
            going to disembowel" or "did you kill somebody?"
%
< quanticle> "How do you pronounce Haskell?" "Go to a karate dojo and ask the
             meanest, toughest fighter there to punch you right in the balls.
             The sound you make is how Haskell should be pronounced."
%
< Betawolf> This isn't the 1970s anymore. We have methods for talking to 
            Finns now. All you need is to carve the question into the 
            snow, place an offering, and return the next day to check the 
            bark for a reply.
%
<Kassandry> Oh what the fuck Last Night Drunk Lacey. Why did you put 
            pickle juice in my drink bottle?
%
<rocknocker> Of course, I would never strike another person in such a state;
             well, perhaps in Illinois.
%
< sobel> PHP's implode() can, for historical reasons, accept its parameters in 
         either order. For consistency with explode(), however, it is 
         deprecated not to use the documented order of arguments.
< sobel> just...pass the wrong args, nbd
%
 * Kassandry sips everclear coke, puffs on a joint, and schools people in 
    the fine art of actually reading the fucking core dump
%
<Logos01> That moment when you realize that the company you work for got 
          DDoS'd by its own product.
%
< mishanti1> Last I worked with MySQL (3.23 I think?) you couldn't even 
             rely on it storing your data, so my knowledge about it is 
             vastly outdated. Postgresql has been the go-to.
%
< joepie91> only with very rigid bags it doesn't work
< Zr40> it doesn't even feel sticky to the touch
%
< erry> fuck you wordpress site
< mst> erry: you missed an h in the last word there
< erry> how will we ever pass an external pentest like this
< mst> bribery?
%
< pompolic> is it a perverse incentive if it increases the total amount 
            of catgirls in the world?
%
 * mst was so offended he nearly challenged Geo to handbags at dawn.
 * GeoSTI moves jacket from handbag
< GeoSTI> I'm your Burberry.
%
< erry> my colleague made a PR to increase the ram of one service and 
        named the pr 'download more ram'
< erry> someone give him a raise and a promotion
%
<@saturn2> what does linguistics have to do with 3d printer firmware
< feep> I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED
<@saturn2> oh no
< feep> >:D
%
< ether> I need to come up with an async project so I can name it Godot
%
< xmj> mst, as much as this annoys me i think you're right
%
<@mst> I need to introduce kassandry to proper fish and chips at some point
<@ether> now I want some smoked kippers
<@mst> and then you'll be back for breakfast?
<@ether> *what a guy*
%
< phaylon> gah. my head would really appreciate it if the weather would 
           stop oscillating between warm and cold and wet and dry
< phaylon> so clogged up today I didn't even hear the delivery guy ringing the
           bell. and they tend to make noise like they're chased by wolves
%
-!- Topic for #chat: The sys in sysadmin actually stands for sisyphus
-!- Topic set by mst
< quicksilver> mst: every time I read /topic, I read it as "The sys in 
               sysadmin actually stands for syphilis"
%
<@vmbrasseur> whoa
<@vmbrasseur> A wild sungo appears! <3
<@vmbrasseur> I've missed you, man.
<@sungo> yes. you have underpaid your assassins
%
< mst> I keep getting annoyed by the fact that the NC treasonweasel 
       appreciation society is called the Sons of Confederate Veterans 
       and therefore gets abbreviated to SCV
< mst> get the fuck off my starcraft lore, treasonweasels
%
< erry> i have a haunted git branch
< Kassandry> PM: You finished that sprint early. Way to go! Dev: Git's 
             haunted. PM: What? Dev: *loads up git-fsck* Git's haunted.
< mst> Junior Dev: Git's haunted. PM: What? Senior Dev: Always was.
%
< davidstone> If I made a mixed drink, I'd name it "The Relationship"
< davidstone> With the prefered way to order it being "on the rocks"
%
Tiger got to hunt,
Bird got to fly;
Lisper got to sit and wonder, (Y (Y Y))?
 -- Kurt Vonnegut, modified by Darius Bacon
%
< aquanight> why
-!- whynot [~whynot@37.73.185.28] has quit [Quit: leaving]
< aquanight> ..
< aquanight> okay was that just a well-timed quit or am I losing it?
%
< sobel> they did a great job of getting right to their failure to 
         provide me a working network
%
< two2thehead> hmm. Sean Connery died
<@gwern> no he didn't he just went undercover
< two2thehead> I've heard of method acting, but this is ridiculous :^)
< nshepperd2> 6 feet undercover, very dedicated
%
<@sungo> decaf gives me migraines either way. I assume it's because my brain
         is aware I fed it coffee that's not coffee and is exacting revenge
%
<@gwern> c60 olive oil is dumb and always was dumb, but enough people believed
         it I ought to broadcast its failure to replicate as a PSA
< nshepperd2> i assume that's not olive oil with fullerenes in it
<@gwern> in a just world, it would not be ... just not this world
%
<thisisnic> Fair play, whatever keeps you sane!
<thisisnic> Oh wait...
%
Error: Protocol mismatch: Packet of form Allegation<Demise<Fascist|Demon>> 
can not be accepted wthout negotiating protocol extension Lawyer<Machine>.
This machine does not grant access rights for a search.
  -- KassandrAI
%
< Obormot> gwern: We didn't have this complaint when we didn't have dark mode
<@gwern> true, we had complaints about a lack of dark mode
< Obormot> gwern: Maybe users don't deserve dark mode
%
< feep> also! I have come up with a language feature so simultaneously 
        brilliant and daft that ever since I told Ralith about it he's 
        been completely ignoring me
< feep> allow me to share with you its brilliance
%
< ether> anglais est difficile
< ether> allons faire shopping
%
 * ether quickly rescues her rubber newt from the cat
%
<@saturn2> wireheaded in the butt by my own GAN
%
< LeoNerd> "We apologise to passengers alighting at Slough. There's nothing
            wrong with the service, it's just that you will be in Slough"
%
< peerce> wow, that was 2007 ?  time flies.
< mst> like an arrow
< peerce> fruit flies like a banana
< mst> \o/
%
< Hecate> haskell.foundation !!!
< Hecate> !!!!!
< Hecate> eeeeeeee
< Hecate> *anime catgirl noises*
%
< cousteau> when I don't have write permission on a file, I just cover 
            the Ethernet connector with tape
< LeoNerd> Ahyes, the good old "chmod +w cellotape"
< mst> no, sellotape - ethernet is binary. cellotape is for strings
%
<@gwern> ...did I just get a mushroom flair on /r/psychology?
< Betawolf> okay, I'll say it. It's because they think you're a fungi.
%
<Kassandry> Saw a picture of a cat earlier with one of those shame signs 
            that said "I peed on the hamster" and my first thought was "I 
            didn't know Richard Hammond was into that"
%
< Juerd> Perl is an old language and there are some annoying things you 
         need to work around if you want to keep your sanity.
< plant_enjoyer> it's kinda cool though! like getting your dad's old 
                 guitar from the attic, lol
%
> It will never cease to amaze me that Google had the sense to make Go errors
> into return values, but did so with a product type rather than a sum type.

They're a product oriented company that believes in zero sum competition?
%
< quanticle> You see the fuzziness around the edges? You cannot accurately
             determine the cat's position if you know its momentum and if you
             do then you can't accurately determine its position. You've heard
             of Schrodinger's Cat, but what we have here is Heisenberg's Cat.
%
< mst> I'm busy hacking a different sort of lisp :D
< LeoNerd> Liþp
< xenu> lisp is all about (((parens)))
< LeoNerd> Lisp Is Substantially Parens
%
< pie_> only reason i know who won the election is because my friend's
        girlfriend told me they had celebratory sex
< saturn2> lol
< Betawolf> oh god, 'Biden babies' might be a thing
%
< simcop2387> thank you for not breast feeding the mind flayer
%
< SpiceMan> can there be a thought without an object?
< mst> in a channel of pedants, no matter the thought, *somebody* will object
< mst> ... usually xenu
< xenu> not true
%
< Winterbay> Was unable to play the "comedy of the week" podcast and so 
             went to the BBC website to do it instead and it said it's 
             not available in my location so went and checked what my IP 
             maps to and apparently I'm in Spain today
%
< dkf> Anyway, time for breakfast!
< stevel> "If you want to do 3 impossible things before breakfast ...."
< RhodiumToad> "If you've done 6 impossible things this morning, why not 
               round it off with breakfast at Milliways..."
%
< erry> "There's a lot to unpack here but let's just burn the whole suitcase"
%
< sobel> where are you seeing Dear ImGui hype?
< mst> sobel: Orange Site Bad.
< sobel> haha
< sobel> DIDS
%
<@cat-xeger> ... did the appropriate 'waft' thing for every. single. 
             bloody. bottle but the very last one.
<@cat-xeger> Predictably, it was the last bottle that had ammonia in it.
< Rosemary> we've all done that, usually exactly once.
%
< LeoNerd> *headdesk*
< LeoNerd> Hands up who forgot to `debrelease` after a ~10 minute build 
           cycle, before tidying up the build directory
 * LeoNerd <== this guy
%
< Kincaid> my Dad's old school had to call in the bomb squad for a bottle of
           picric acid found when they were demolishing the old labs
< Kincaid> I think it's a legal requirement of chem departments to do this
< Kincaid> also a lake of mercury from 100 years of dropped thermometers
%
To kill a French vampire you need to drive a baguette through its heart.
Sounds easy but the process is painstaking.
  -- @Daveastated on twitter
%
< ilmari> the lord yeeteth, and the lord yoinketh away - gen z bible
%
< simcop2387> eh any language is fine, but if no one else speaks it then 
              you probably won't get the help you need.
< simcop2387> or some smart ass will respond to you in esperanto
< LeoNerd> Mi jus pensis pri tion!
%
 * pol recalls when his grandfather died
< pol> We had to phone the plant he'd worked at
< pol> "Send us a hazmat team"
%
< Mithaldu_> that twitter account tweeted "pedo" at vowsh and i can't tell if 
             it's an accusation or an invitation 
%
 * leont_ once told Larry that when I read about how globs worked I had 
    assumed I misunderstood. His reply "I'm sorry about that" :-p
%
< leont_> ilmari: you need to nominate yourself for core team membership
< ilmari> leont_: do I _have_ to? </whine>
< ether> yes
 * ether gets out the shotgun and marches you to the altar
%
< mst> Botje: it didn't disco, just dropped the socket
< ilmari> mst: in the bathtub?
< gordonfish> ilmari: mmm, I smell toast
< simcop2387> gordonfish: sounds like a stroke
%
 * leont_ still believes that at the next YAPC, we should convince 
    someone to brew a perl5 porter ;-)
< leont_> How hard can it be to convince a British sponsor to fund that?
< BinGOs> perl5 porter: strong, smooth and disagreeable
%
< huf> you can just flush it with $fh->autoflush($_) for 1, 0;
< gordonfish> huf: Isn't that just $fh->flush ?
< mst> select((select($fh), $| = 1, $| = 0)[0]);
< huf> well now, that's a sight for sore eyes
%
< RhodiumToad> meh
< RhodiumToad> death to fontconfig
 * RhodiumToad will stick to xterm
%
< shawwwn> If he’s not doing something, the kitchen is where he stands
< shawwwn> Other family members started making fun of him a bit. “Behind 
           every great man, there’s a drawer I need to get into and why 
           are you even in the kitchen”
%
<@gwern> "BigGAN, rick?" "It's a goddamn GAN, Morty! You little shit, you 
         made the LR too low! let me show you *true hyperparameter tuning*"
%
< RiversHaveWings> there are two dashboards and one is up and the 
                   developer.apple.com one is down
<@gwern> does the up dashboard report that the down dashboard is down
< RiversHaveWings> it isn't on it
%
< shawwwn> Flying over the ocean is terrifying. If you run out of fuel you’re
           done
< shawwwn> I’m not sure why planes aren’t falling out of the air every day
<@mjr> Well, to start with, they generally tend to fuel the planes.
%
< mst> it's not like anybody who's worked for mdk is exactly manageable
< mst> you just sort of have to aim us in a general direction and hope
< quicksilver> <mdwellington> I don't know what effect these cats will 
               have upon the enemy, but, by God, they frighten me
%
< ilmari> there's also the other meaning of "mean"
< Hecate> ilmari: stop being so average
< ilmari> wel, _an_ other meaning…
< ilmari> Hecate: what do you mean?
%
< quicksilver> any feature, however contorted, which allows mst to answer 
               questions honestly with "*sigh* unzip", is a win
%
< simcop2387> it'll be difficult to find anyone with Trebek's panache
< ether> I wouldn't be surprised if they killed the show entirely
< mst> you mean you think it's ... in jeopardy?
< ether> *sigh*
%
< Grinnz> what the absolute fuck are you... oh, vi
%
 * Zr40 just met a cute little spider and let it be
< Zr40> I hope it catches many silverfish (-:
%
< joepie91> I am reminded of the handful of companies which, when you create
            an account, send you two e-mails
< joepie91> one containing your username, the other containing your password
< joepie91> "for security reasons"
%
< castaway> .. well that was fun..
< mst> web design always is
< castaway> this is why Im trying to avoid it ;)
%
< Betawolf> Yes, Mr Blobby is a 6-foot-tall pink monster that haunted British
            gameshows. He would randomly assault the contestants, sometimes
            throwing things, sometimes putting people into chokeholds. Nobody
            knows what he wants except perhaps Noel Edmunds. Kids love him.
%
< chloekek> IIRC Italy used to have different tariff for electricity used for
            lighting and electricity used for powering other utilities
< chloekek> So people came up with circuits to make their non-lighting use
            count as lighting
%
< quanticle> So what you're saying is that, unlike China, which has a
             stealth fighter but no engine, Japan has an engine, but
             no stealth fighter?
%
< joepie91> speaking of servers, time for my migration, for real this time
 * joepie91 is tired of dry-running it
< joepie91> actual downtime should be like 10-15 minutes tops :P
< joepie91> though "should" is doing a lot of work in that sentence...
%
< joepie91> systemd-coredump[21574]: Process 21572 (sendmail) dumped core.
< joepie91> ... of course it did.
 * joepie91 ejects computer from window
< joepie91> time for a new hobby.
%
< nox> Kassandry: Obviously Archer is sad T'Pol isn't coming
< mst> vulcans are tricky to make orgasm most of the time, yeah
< Kassandry> Goddamnit, I just choked on my bourbon.
%
< Betawolf> Internal rhyming is okay, it's when you break into epic verse that
            the waiter taking your order starts to get that concerned look.
%
< Doc> wish we could neutralize the riaa
< mst> Doc: with an acid bath, yes
< Doc> i approve of this addition
< ilmari> mst: so you're saying the riaa is basic?
%
 * gwern copies the DOI for this shannon paper from sci-hub and belatedly 
    notices that '10.1234/12345678' *might* not be a real DOI
%
< Kincaid> just use an excel sheet and access it it with a VBA wrapper
< pewterfish> *bonk* Go to Excel jail
< Kincaid> I'm fine, I'm the 65,537th person to do it
%
< bomb> I'm available for hire if you want an enterprise-ready solution 
        to that problem, written in Spring + Hadoop.
< sobel> i'm not ready for that much power :P
 * bomb slowly holsters his kubernetes
%
< capitol> Do you like yaml? - A question that can be answered Yes or Norway
%
 * quanticle looks at mst like a parent who is proud of their child, but 
    doesn't exactly know why he should be proud.
< quanticle> Congratulations on winning your uh...
< quanticle> whatever it is you won
%
< sobel> hehe, that garbage xml that configures my legacy app: just made 
         chrome pause hard when i loaded it
< joepie91> chrome was probably briefly reconsidering its life choices
< sobel> chrome is almost smart enough that i feel bad about making it do that
%
<@pete> I did 8 years of Latin at school and am pleased to report I have 
        no idea what that says
%
< Exodist> Her parents were so conservative that she had this conversation:
           Her Mom: "Gay relationships are wrong because it is so unnatural
           how gay men have sex!" her: "You know straight people have anal sex
           too right?" her mom *horrified*: "No, I do not believe that!"
%
< buu> $m->comp('SELF:login',
< buu> wtf mason
< mason> Whaaaaaa....?
< buu> this is all your fault
%
< synthmeat> "why did the console peasant cross the road? to render the 
             building on the other side."
%
< Betawolf> the best way is to assassinate them _before_ they're elected
< dbohdan> Have enough of that, and you don't need elections.  You can 
           replace Election Day with Assassination Market Betting Day.
%
< sobel> if you can spell Louisiana, you're not from Louisiana
%
<erry> tfw someone in the werewolf game says my reads suck
<erry> that's why i use LOGIC and not READS
<erry> "EVEN THO ERRY IS TRUSTED THAT DOESN'T MEAN HIS READS ARE GOOD" i 
       will print and frame this
%
< Zr40> RETURNS NULL ON NON NULL INPUT
< kwispel> RETURNS NULL ON NON NULL OR NULL INPUT
< sobel> RETURNS NULL ALWAYS
< RhodiumToad> WHY ARE YOU CALLING THIS FUNCTION ANYWAY
%
< mst> if I can't get features in directly I can weave them through
< ilmari> a weft move, by a warped mind :)
< mst> I resemble that remark :D
< ilmari> as long as there isn't a /kick looming
%
< mst> but it'll as short for 'it will' is perfectly cromulent english
< BinGOs> Information Technology Infrastructure Library? ITIL never happen!
 * BinGOs gets his coat.
< gordonfish> Don't forget your tea and cromulents
%
< mst> if you wait long enough I'll get annoyed and write an 
       Operator::Declare and then you'll wish you'd done it sooner
< LeoNerd> "I might as well give you some rope to hang yourself with, 
           because otherwise people will use Cat5 cable instead"
%
< buu> NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE
%
< ggreer> I stumbled on a function called "readCache". it writes to a cache :(
%
< Obormot> ...
 * Obormot stares at the shipping info form on aliexpress
< Obormot> "Name. Example: Ivanov Ivan Ivanovich"
< Obormot> Aliexpress what are you trying to say here
%
< LeoNerd> Annoyingly I don't have an automated tweet client so I'll have 
           to tweet it live, manually, by hand. Like some sort of peasant
%
< nperez> patches welcome? ;-)
< hobbs> I might, but I can't just send one off without researching exactly
         what the differences are, which sounds like a hole full of rabbit
%
00:22 < erry> ok! tonight i'll fall asleep in 10min and sleep until 8 am like
              a baby!
08:15 < erry> hey it worked
08:15 < erry> :o
%
< quanticle> Also, from the article on Dushanbe: "meaning Monday in Persian"
< quanticle> Can you imagine living in a city called "Monday"?
< quanticle> Whoever named this city must not have been a fan of it.
< quanticle> "Fuck this place, I'm calling it Monday"
%
< nox> French police is going to ask your joke its ID for being too dark
%
< Grinnz> Who fucking put a BOM in this column data
%
< jberger> ize? dunno, mst is rubbing off on me maybe (and that's terrifying)
%
< erry> i spilled water down my desk where the power plug thingy is
< erry> It mostly went down the desk itself tho
< erry> so probably fine(?)
< Hecate> erry: if you suddenly disconnect, we will know it was not :P
%
<@hobbs> New "weird chinese brand made up for Amazon" list entry: Officygnet
<@hobbs> Also fezlens
<@mst> hobbs: fezlens are cool
<@hobbs> More into the bowties myself
%
< quanticle> Same origin policy in a nutshell: BABA YAGA IS OPPOSED!
< mst> quanticle: no tag soup for you!
< quanticle> More like NO JSON FOR YOU COME BACK ONE YEAR WITH CROSS
             ORIGIN HEADER
%
< LeoNerd> I have a 40minute slot, aiming at 35 minutes of recorded talk + 5
           minutes live Q/A at the end. First draft of my talk slides recorded
           in 26minutes. Second draft comes in at 40m 40s. 
< LeoNerd> Excellent. Now I can implement binary search.
%
 * Neth sighs in american.
< Kincaid> does that involve gunfire?
%
< simcop2387> oh i see i thought you were saying that assuming things worked
< huf> no, it obviously doesnt, which is why excel does it that way
%
< sobel> I wonder if Microsoft's "edge" predates Lovense's?
%
< mknod> the perldoc didn't find anything on "rewind"
< LeoNerd> Hrm...
< LeoNerd> Wow, weird. That's a bit of stdio that perl doesn't wrap :(
< huf> perl is a bad blockbusters customer
%
< buu> someone give me a tab supporting perltidy rc file
< xenu> by 'tab' you mean that key that produces 4 spaces?
< LeoNerd> :set sw=4   ;)
%
< Hecate> yes I'm much more familiar with perineum
%
< sobel> I don't understand sober people sometimes
%
< mst> discussion of postgresql, friend says "the auld master of the post"
 * mst replies "nor rain nor snow nor glom of nit"
< Kincaid> just don't arsk about:
< mst> mysql
%
< spxtr> Why not use systemd?
<@gwern> did you just tell me to go fuck myself?
%
 * perigrin just realizes what the other team did and stares in horror
<perigrin> oh thank god, it's not as bad as I thought
<perigrin> it's just stupid, not horrifyingly stupid
%
< xiaomiao> lots of performative management :\
< xiaomiao> "we have a roadmap, that's enough - what do you mean *follow* 
            the roadmap? that's inflexible!"
< xiaomiao> [angry mountain german]
%
< nox> I will forever have some respect for covid because now way more 
       women are acting on the fact that they don't want to wear bras
%
00:15 -!- cryptid_collector has joined #perl
00:33 -!- cryptid_collector has quit [Quit: Connection closed]
00:56 <@simcop2387> i know there are fewer of us than ever, but bigfoot
                    hunters coming for perl programmers? really?
%
 * xmj slaps mst 
< xmj> stop being right
%
< david_> Does anyone else find it ironic that a company named "Johnson 
          and Johnson" was accused of giving strokes?
%
< Grinnz> leont: it's gotten so bad, i had an mst thought
%
< Obormot\Arcturus> gwern: So? What is a wet bar?
< gwern> Obormot\Arcturus: it's a home bar... which has a sink
< mst> if you leave the room and come back, does that make it a rebar?
 * feep bars mst from puns
%
< dbohdan> LDS microdosing (to ward off unclean spirits)
%
<wodencafe> What the fuck did this guy do? What is a FocusTraversalPolicy? Ugh
%
< mst> fucking newfangled electrickery
< LeoNerd> Yeah that's a perl 5.12ism
< LeoNerd> I had expected everything would cope nicely by now
< Grinnz> well my brain doesn't yet :P
%
< gwern> "well, geoff said, it all started when I said californian voters 
          would approve any idea, no matter how stupid, if it sounded good..."
%
< ether> I don't want to think about the tooling changes for renaming branches
< Grinnz> ideally, "update minting profile to set the default branch 
          name, everything else works based on git branch config", in 
          practice "ohgod everything's made of hardcoded bees"
%
<@jess> im saying i dont want us to and unfortunately i have the 
        privilege of deciding a conversation isn't ok to have here
 * mst distracts the channel by starting a conversation about politics
<@li> May Suddenly Troll
%
<+fChanX> Me and my best friend had a massive fight after drinking loads 
          of sangria. o_o
<+fChanX> So now we call it angrya.
%
< Obormot\Arcturus> MY NAME IS OBORMOT
< Obormot\Gaia> FOR WE
< Obormot\Sirius> ARE
< Obormot\Arcturus> MANY
%
< xmj> I'm German. Gas is metered.
< xmj> You make a Hitler joke in my vicinity, you pay the bloddy gas bill.
%
< huf> blame covid
< huf> stupid nato vaccines chipped mst and now he's nicer
< huf> soon we'll have to send him on an insensitivity training course
%
< Altreus> RaiseError => 0 is ErrorsAreAcceptableToMe => 1
< LeoNerd> ON ERROR RESUME NEXT
< Altreus> PHP => 1
%
< mst> ON DUPLICATE KEY DO INSTEAD CRY AT THE VERBOSITY OF STANDARD SQL
< zgu> mst: i think you mean 'CRY FROM LEFT AND RIGHT EYES AT LANGUAGE 
       ATTRIBUTE VERBOSITY OF SQL AS SPECIFIED BY STANDARD'
< thrig> pretty sure you need a CROSS JOIN to involve both eyes
%
< revhippie> i hate our software so much
< buZz> delete it
< buZz> revhippie: start with removing the french files
< buZz> rm -fr /
%
< velix> Help! My postgresql is drunk!
%
< Altreus> wtf if I dump a $hashref I get a shitload of warnings and a 
           completely different error from if I remove the debug statement
< Botje> hashref is cursed.
%
< qed2> I just learned today that people eat more bananas than monkeys
< qed2> it makes sense, I do not remember when I ate a monkey lately
%
< mst> o< o< o< o< o< quaaaack
< Zr40> >o
< mst> "Quack Different"
< Zr40> quacktime
%
<@jess> unrealircd is blowjobs solanum is the superior solution
<@jess> jk unrealircd is good too, pissnet for life
< mst> petition to rename unreal to omorashircd
%
< Altreus> Pretty sure it's rude to yell at people for their disorders
< Adura> Unless it's hearing loss.
%
If played correctly, both video poker and blackjack give you a slight
advantage over the house. But getting a whole table to play blackjack
correctly is like herding cats. Drunk, coked up cats.
  - /u/Creme_Bru-Doggs
%
 * gwern whips his head around. so, there *is* a vole under his oven 
    again! looks a lot smaller than the one a few months ago, so either 
    it's been on a serious diet or it's a vole new story...
%
< kwispel> my bread maker asks me to fill in the ending time
< kwispel> my previous dish washer just had a start button
< joepie91> my dishwasher still has a ratchety knob
< pedja> that sonds like something May would call Clarkson
%
< Zr40> turns out "The watchOS update couldn't be verified because you are not
        connected to the internet." really means "caches were purged to make
        room to install update and the caches included the update image"
* Zr40 will have to finish his podcast queue first
%
< LeoNerd> VTerm::PROP_CURSORSHAPE_BLOCK     => Term::CURSORSHAPE_BLOCK,
< LeoNerd> VTerm::PROP_CURSORSHAPE_UNDERLINE => Term::CURSORSHAPE_UNDER,
< LeoNerd> VTerm::PROP_CURSORSHAPE_BAR_LEFT  => Term::CURSORSHAPE_LEFT_BAR,
< LeoNerd> you wouldn't think the same author wrote both libraries, would you?
%
< mst> LeoNerd: right, I've figured out how to fatpack .so files :D
< LeoNerd> ... *blink*
< LeoNerd> How... (and bear in mind this is /me/ who is asking)... How in the
           everloving-$EXPLETIVES[rand @EXPLETIVES] did you manage that?
%
<erry> :D
<erry> i told my boss off
<erry> cause he opened his slack on his time off
<erry> >:(
%
< kiboneu> btw i am a nyc resident now
< mst> kiboneu: I'm so sorry
< Betawolf> please know there is support available for you, it doesn't have
            to end this way.
%
 * mst remembers the NYC pedestrian rules:
< mst> green light - all cars are going to try to kill you
< mst> red light - all taxis are going to try to kill you
< kiboneu> it helps wake me up on my way to work
%
<+blkshp> Anyone had any trouble with [18:58:11] <I_Am_M00t> ban me
<+mst> blkshp: I have a tendency to respond with "I'm not helping you 
       with your humiliation fetish, go hire a pro-domme already"
 * blkshp saves that to an alias.
%
<erry> the covid study is now asking you to take a pcr test if you feel 
       depressed
<erry> nah, mate, i don't think that's covid
<erry> unless i've had it for 28 years
%
<@ilmari> today's silly code: `eval { ... } or die @$;`
%
< LeoNerd> Heh.. some amusing function names in there.  SvIV_please_nomg
< LeoNerd> "No magic please, we're British"
%
< LeoNerd> I'll just go and  #define PERL_NO_GET_CONTEXT  at the top of 
           Tickit.xs (a ~4.1k line file) and see what breaks. How bad can 
           it be..?
< LeoNerd> ... Oh
%
< qed> Spelling bee judge: "Your word is 'seaward'."
< qed> Contestant: "C-U-N..."
< qed> Judge: "DEAR GOD PLEASE STOP.
%
< genio> I won't put mst's vaguecat in $work Slack. I won't put mst's 
         vaguecat in $work Slack.  I won't ... fuck it.
%
< feep> the hacker news discussion resolved amicably!
< ggreer> O_O
< feep> I am amazed also
< feep> (please no commenty)
%
<perigrin> Hahahahaha ... reason for the office move delay ... COO went to
           the department of buildings to file the official move paperwork
           and the department was locked. Apparently nobody showed up to
           work there today.
%
< ggreer> I got $100 off my bedframe for leaving a good yelp review
< gwern> wow
< gwern> (traitor)
< ggreer> I edited the review to say "I got $100 off for leaving this review"
%
< Juerd> Just encountered in actual production code: grep 1, @x
< Juerd> Fortunately, @x does indeed only ever contain the number 1.
%
<+She> I was promised that I was going to be magnetic. I was looking forward
       to being inherently hazardous to datacenters. I foresaw a future of
       glorious data-terrorism ahead of me. And all I got was a slight fever.
%
< shawwwn> stop reading my mind
< kuudes> you have to wear more layers of tinfoil
%
< qed> My mate just deleted his Facebook account
< qed> We will not see his likes again.
%
The zoo director noticed that one of the elephants was coughing. So he decided
to add vodka to this elephant's bucket of water. The next morning that
elephant was completely healthy, but the other three elephants began to cough.
  (Russian joke, precise origin unknown)
%
<cat-xeger> I, OTOH, recovered from yesterdays migraine in time for last 
            night's insomnia
%
< xenu> the only purpose of $@ prototype is to cause bugs
< mst> xenu: you mean ... $@ is usually an error?
< mst> I think anybody who's ever used eval already knew that
 * ether ಠ_ಠ
%
<+Roey> My girlfriend was infatuated with roofing equipment so I gave her 
        an ultimatum: it's either me or the equipment.
<+Roey> She chose the ladder.
%
< mst> AbleBacon: anthropomorphisation of specific code elements is 
       helpful in order to personally hate them to the level they deserve
<+AbleBacon> ah, well i've definitely referred to gstreamer as a "fucking 
             bastard" so that makes sense
%
<jberger> you want an odd type of pain?
<jberger> try to deploy a kubernetes cluster on a bank of servers 
          reclaimed from a network engineering conference
<mst> ... every part of that sentence was cursed
%
< Hecate> thing said today in standup meeting
< Hecate> "Alright, enough perl slander, the developers might hear us. 
          After all, we all have perl installed on our machines."
%
< quanticle> Good news: our AWACs folks are messaging each other on a 
             bandwidth-saving text-oriented protocol
< quanticle> Bad news: the bandwidth-saving text-oriented protocol is IRC
< quanticle> Worse news: their IRC client is mIRC
%
< xiaomiao> that's like Vodafone terminating the 'old' KabelDeutschland 
            peerings "because we have enough capacity"
< xiaomiao> hint: they didn't
%
 * LeoNerd observes that the expression c/c++ is UB in both C and C++
%
< thrig> ... production alarm fires as totally different team using a totally
         different language write the exact same bug as the old code had ...
< thrig> luckily someone wrote a little perl script to look for this condition
         after the first time it happened
%
< saturn2> if i needed to gaze into my pants i would go in the bathroom
< PapuaHardyNet> if you gaze too long into the void, the void gazes back
< mst> just don't dereference the void
< mst> that's undefined behaviour
%
<mst> watching other people shag is not my thing at all
<mst> last time I had two female attendees decide to fuck at a house party
<mst> my reaction was "good, they're enjoying themselves" and I went to sleep
<mst> brought them cups of tea in the morning mind, I am an english host ;)
%
< leitz> I'm not at audrey level, certainly. Not even at "mst after a 
         heavy drinking weekend with no sleep" level.
%
<@DrHyde> How's Thursday the 30th for everyone who I like?
<@ilmari> works for me
 * mst would check his calendar but is already excluded by both geography 
    and the phrasing of the question
%
< Grinnz> what happened to openssl 2?
< LeoNerd> Grinnz: Perhaps it got {Perl,PHP,Scheme} 6'ed?
%
< Obormot> Man how do I even figure out what type of pillow to search for. I
           have no idea what the one I have is or is made of
< Obormot> This is going to end with me going to some obscure phpbb web forum
           of hardcore pillow enthusiasts to question them
%
< feep> ALRIGHT
< feep> we have progressed from compiler errors to SEGFAULTS let's GO
%
< cousteau> This is an actual error message I got from that program:  
            "WARNING: vhdl is not supported as a language.  Using usenglish" 
%
< feep> I mean, this isn't even C, this is straight llvm ir
< feep> it's still how it rolls tho
< feep> on paper llvm is generic, in practice it's a C backend with a 
        fake moustache
%
 * daemon looks at code in editor ... hmmm come on energy and focus I 
    know you will come to me if I stare long enough
< thrig> NOPE
< Altreus> nope
%
< thrig> the road to shell is paved with good indentations
%
< Rembane> I had so many viking jokes but some dude in a longship stole 'em.
%
<+AbleBacon> my twins ATTACK each other when they run out of food. like, the
             food runs out and it's every cat for itself. it's so pitiful
<+AbleBacon> they've never gone more than a few hours without food in 
             their bowl but they have like... no memory
%
< cat-xeger> 43
< Hecate> 44
< cat-xeger> <-- focus apparently doesn't follow brain
%
< davidfetter_work> .oO( ALTER GOTO )
%
< zgu> cpanm is almost but not quite entirely unlike cpan
%
< Obormot> Why is Programming in ML like Safe Sex?
< Obormot> Because you can't catch any bugs but it's not much fun.
%
-!- tomaw [tom@libera/staff/tomaw] has joined #perl
< mst> tomaw: WHAT IS THE NATURE OF THE PERL5 EMERGENCY
< tomaw> mst: CATALYST EMERGENCY AVOIDED
< mst> tomaw: YOU MEAN YOU AREN'T DEPLOYING GMS AFTER ALL?
%
<+Sauvin> Trying to decide if this guy is a legitimate loon or just a 
          fuckwit troll.
%
<sobel> reminds of when i was more ok with being unsure (about myself) 
        than others were, so the exchanges went something like
<sobel> them: u r a fag
<sobel> me: maaaaaybe
%
< marcus> Would be great if someone could cancel brexit
< LeoNerd> I tried :/
< felipe> Brexit::Cancel::run() ?
< mst> marcus: some things, even I can't destroy :(
%
<mst> ow
<cat-xeger> what did you do?
%
< ggreer> If you drive safely for a week, they’ll probably give you FSD
< ggreer> Aggressive acceleration is not one of the factors they use
< mst> "drive in only unsafe ways that elon does"
< ggreer> Exactly
%
<mackp2014> It's so busy downtown here for some reason. My hometown is 
            becoming a tourist attraction ughhh
<mackp2014> They've found us lol
%
< rbraun> "ssleay" is a series of 6 letters i haven't seen in a long time
< mst> rbraun: a more inelegant weapon, for a less civilised age
%
<Kassandry> Ok. Cat barf cleaned up. Cat knocking things down dealt with. 
            Now I can go get coffee and look this over.
<mst> sexylosers: fap fap fap fap splort
<mst> adacat: thud thud thud thud hooork
%
< kuudes> I am pretty great, but I hope to get less great
< nshepperd2> mst is probably greatest by the obvious correct measure,
              which is number of pockets
5
< EvanCarroll> this langauge is insane.
< ilmari> EvanCarroll: you must be new here
%
<erry> i managed to choke on my drink and/or snack so much i had a full 
       on coughing fit
<erry> covid can't destroy my lungs if they are presently outside my body 
       due to being coughed out
%
< petern> Urgh, why the heck is @Model.Property giving a different value 
          than <... asp-for="Property">
< hikari> I have no idea.
< ccooke> Spite.
%
< Kassandry> Eh. She's your cat, you adjust to the peeing outside the box.
< erry> talk about thinking outside the box
< Kassandry> Only if it's omorashi and you're a furry...
 * Cadey gives Kassandry a hose and silently nods
%
< feep> "we did a mouse there and it was intimate" --alan kay reminisces 
        about his mousegirl waifu
< feep> apparently "they had motors in it" tmi kay, tmi
< gwern> he truly was decades ahead of his time
%
< _stark_> I'm having trouble imagining a real use case for these
< RhodiumToad> don't ask me, I just implemented them
%
< thrig> horse meat has 5.03mg of Iron, while Veal has 0.99mg, 
< rewt> so horse is more ironic than veal?
%
<sobel> i know this one guy who went to a "nerd/geek" themed party wearing
        office-casual and a paper mask with a 1 and a 0 over the eyes
<sobel> bitmask
%
< Altreus> did you intentionally use wherefore wrong just to troll everyone?
< mst> "wherefore art thou frob() in my namespace?"
< mst> but also, yes.
< Altreus> good - I was worried you'd changed
%
< Altreus> "Why is this on CPAN" --> PERLANCAR
< mst> http://trout.me.uk/noxface.jpg
< Altreus> that person is melting
< mst> no, he's just french
%
< thrig> years ago you served my father in C wars
< lopid> was that near the tannhauser gate?
< mst> all these moments will be lost in time, like tr///s in rain
< lopid> die time;
%
< Altreus> sorry I got distracted by people on r/ADHD not reading my post 
           before responding
< Altreus> not sure what I expected
%
< adiabatic> on the other hand, bubonic plague
%
11:04 < mst> mdk: TREE DACE
11:04 < mst> or at least 71 hours
11:05 < castaway> of morning msts?
11:05 < mdk> Jingo, Jingo, Jingo
%
< sobel> murphy was an optimist
5
15:30 < ology> A rare and tropical TorgoX in the wild!
15:32 -!- TorgoX has quit [Quit: ~~]
15:35 < Grinnz> you've spooked them
%
 * GumbyPAN CPAN Upload: File-XDG-0.08 by PLICEASE 
< mst> plicease: every time I see an upload of that go past I wonder what 
       you're doing to David Golden
< thrig> I am a name, not a number! I will not be File...
%
< ether> Canada apologizes for not aborting Cruz
< ether> if only his mother was aboriginal, we'd have aborted him *and* 
         given his mother a free and unplanned tubal ligation
%
< simcop2387> LeoNerd: what happens if you do sqrt($x) = -1
< mst> simcop2387: I can't possibly imagine
< simcop2387> mst: it is a bit of a made up problem to be sure
< mst> simcop2387: I guess it depends how complex the implementation is
%
< LeoNerd> It's like when cats catch wasps and try to eat them... people are
           all like "well it has bright yellow danger stripes on it, what did
           you think was going to happen?".. I sympathise with the cat. It
           *could* have been delicious.. how would you know without trying it?
%
< feep> And the LORD spoke to them from a whirlwind, saying: "Fornicate 
        with female dogs, children of Israel, and acquire currency!"
< feep> (This line was struck from later transcriptions.)
%
 * gwern squints as he decides on the subject for this paper. still hard to
    believe 'sexology' is a real word and actually the name of the field
%
< nox> went shopping, bought myself a new perfume,
< nox> remember when we joked that my haircut is femboy aesthetics?
< nox> When I arrived home, I checked the perfume name,
< nox> it's called "tomboy $something_i_dont_remember"
%
<nox> In other news I was listening to music and I turned my head to look at
      my cat sleeping in the bedroom but I don’t have a cat anymore lolsob
<nox> Fucking pets despawning
<nox> Need to make themselves a better build or something, fucking casuals
%
< cat> Bah!  Nothing scary about my house.  Just me, being quiet and keeping 
       to myself, along with my six cats, five of them black ....
< them> Cat, you're the scary thing in your house
%
<+perlbot> aquanight: Couldn't pastebin output
< mst> oh, yeah, the eval to pastebin function is currently having a mardy
< Altreus> ah, haven't heard the term mardy used for quite some time
< Altreus> except by me but I don't listen to myself as you well know
%
< Altreus> ~==~ surely
< Altreus> it looks like Wario's moustache
< thrig> totoro operator when
< Altreus> do not covet thy neighbour's operators
%
< thrig> eval: $_="catcat"; $re = qr/cat/; s/$re/mlatu/g; $_
<+perlbot> thrig: mlatumlatu
< mst> thrig: it's a mewt point?
< thrig> four of the five ends are pointy
%
< Grinnz> myisam, aka "technically counts as a database engine"
< Grinnz> in the same way kraft singles technically count as cheese product
%
< gordonfish> s/Has/Had/ # cat licking my arm
%
< Altreus> this pleases me: $ chsh -s csh
< Grinnz> chsh -s csh shh
< thrig> ba-doom csh
%
<+AbleBacon> thank you, windows defender, from heroically protecting my
             computer from that EVIL open-source software
< mst> I don't remember the last time it pointlessly blocked something
< mst> ... which probably means I should double check it's still running
%
< gwern> 'take a drink everytime you think asuka is cute or a bitch; take 
         one everytime shinji is a pussy; and one everytime Misato does' 
         'are you trying to kill me'
%
< Obormot> In WoW, druids can transform into cats... if you gave an actual
           cat suitable controls, could it play a cat-form druid effectively
< Obormot> (This idea inspired by our raid leader's cat walking across her
            keyboard)
%
< XORXERY> Every brain is a varying collection of thought-terminating clichés.
%
< feep> I just wrote )))); in a bash script
< feep> this is a clear sign that I have lost control of my life
%
< thrig> AOL CALLING
< gordonfish-> WELCOME, YOU HAVE NEW SPAM
%
Why is it that whenever somebody is upset here they type like they're an
anime villain giving a long winded monologue?
  - @RealYungCripp on twitter
%
< aquanight> it occurs to me
< aquanight> 45role-does.t#L58 that message should be reversed
< aquanight> I might have been the idiot that wrote it
%
< cat-xeger> I'm still trying to wake up, find motivation, that sort of thing.
< erry> cat-xeger: find / -name *motivation* ?
< cat-xeger> $ locate motivation
< cat-xeger> $
%
< xiaomiao> velix: tl;dr: 2021 ?
< velix> No covid, just stupid idiots.
< velix> Covid should have killed them, but covid was too busy
%
< phaylon> a more enthusiastic phaylon experience is available as DLC for a
           monthly subscription fee
%
< LeoNerd> I found a segv case in pureperl today
< LeoNerd> I'm four levels deep of trying to fix a problem, and managed 
           to segfault it :( this is an annoying distraction
< Grinnz> ah, so you pulled a mst
%
< xocolatl> remember, the test does not end until you turn the ignition off.
< zelest> noted :)
< bomb> pull the handbrake while driving to impress the women nearby.
< xocolatl> examiners LOVE donuts!
%
< cat-xeger> <-- sleep was too hot, too cold, too many cats, not enough cats,
             too much moon, too much dreaming... generally, insufficient
%
<+wodencafe> Hypothetically, what is it?
<+kPa> A string literal
 * She literally strings up kPa.
%
< aquanight> what trash httpd doesn't put Last-Modified in their headers
< aquanight> oh wait
< aquanight> nvm it helps if I don't get 404d
%
< cjac> oh. the maintainer got back to me. maybe we'll get a build together.
< Altreus> collaboration? ugh
< Altreus> bit too close to actual socialising for my taste
< thrig> vichy france also collaborated
%
< PapuaHardyNet> I read "tantric buddhism" as "tactical buddhism" and was 
                 suddenly interested
%
< velix> kebaptime!!!!!!!!!!!!! nom nom nom
< velix> oh god, my keyboard
< velix> need to lick key
< velix> d dddddd d g gggggggggg n
%
< mst> I mean, honestly, the rules here can be rounded off to "don't be so
       obnoxious that even mst notices"
< Altreus> Don't stoop lower than matt?
< Altreus> Does that mean you're the dipstick?
%
< xenu> eval: say v112.101.110.105.115
<+perlbot> xenu: penis 
%
< Altreus> I'm gonna get complex statements in this code if it kills me :P
< daemon> lets start a pool to see which of those happens first :DF
%
< gwern> this is how the world ends, isn't it. 'my, these are some 
         interesting slopes upward on the largest models'
%
< TorgoX> In the space of four years, a guy with a hazy background founded
          a syncretic but often baffling religion.  Oddly familiar.
< TorgoX> IT'S A CINDERALLAH STORY, REALLY.
%
<+fChanX> ("Sunshine.")>\(v_v )/
<+fChanX> \( v_v)/<("Moonlight.")
<+fChanX> ("Good times.")>\(v_v )/
<+fChanX> (~ =_=)~<("Boogie...")
%
< fizzie> Also, `cat <(cat)` prints "cat: -: Input/output error" which I 
          don't want to think about at all. Some kind of Lovecraftian 
          file descriptor tangle.
%
< mst> my $data = do try { ... } catch ($e) { ... };
< Altreus> do try, there's a good chap
< LeoNerd> do try, my old boy
< Altreus> bravo old bean
%
< LeoNerd> Actually, my substance of choice today appears to be the rum 
           and orange [yes, in that order] marmalade a friend of mine made
%
<Kassandry> *sniff sniff sniff sniff disgusted chirrup*
<Kassandry> Told you it was tacos, cat.
%
< feep> god damn it, fallout 4 survival no stealth is such bullshit, but 
        I keep going back to it! :V
< feep> last game I was literally killed by a fly.
< pompolic> unintentional pacifist run: couldn't hurt a fly
%
< gwern> inside you there are _n_ conflict/mistake theorists. political 
         physicists are still working out the details of the constituent 
         'quant' particles, but have given them names like 'strange' 'up' 
         down' 'left' 'right' 'tankie' etc
%
< [itchyjunk]> loss is all over the place, something must be really wrong
< mst> [itchyjunk]: maybe you configured it to output low res .jpg ?
< feep> is this gradient
< RiversHaveWings> ...someone should take the spatial gradient of loss.jpg lol
%
< kiboneu> i want a cyber bar / cafe. the world hasn't delivered yet
< rmmh> what is a cyber bar
< rmmh> you go there, order a drink, and then sext with an AI?
%
< placeb0> speaking of social interaction has anyone else had an issue 
           with handshakes post COVID-19?
< tepozoa> no, I still lick the back of their hand to establish dominance.
           not much has changed, just have to pull down my mask first
%
<+kurahaupo> so why pick on Australia?
< mst> (1) mentioning Australia Day was kind of a clue
< mst> (2) because placeb0 is part emu and therefore your sworn enemy
<+kurahaupo> AAAAAAARGH! EMU!
%
< mst> LeoNerd: always good to be specific about how to enter your sub
< LeoNerd> Hrm.. well this is more about how you leave ;)
< mst> :void :scalar :list :fakephonenumber
< LeoNerd> :ghost
%
< Kobaz> Possible precedence issue with control flow operator at 
         /usr/local/library/perl/UpgradeUtils.pm line 802.
< mst> Kobaz: vaguecat
< Kobaz> i know, sorry
%
<erry> ooh
<erry> i get why they make those foldable 2 screen phones
<erry> so that you can play both pokemon go and the new pikmin version of 
       it at once
%
< gwern> (an apt example of muphry's law: any complaint about typos or 
         grammar errors will itself be erroneous.)
%
<erry> "please turn off your video before you stick that swab up your 
       nostril" is not a phrase I thought I'd ever say but here we are
%
<nox> Reminds me that I probably need to put away my I LOVE ANAL lighter 
      before my mum comes to visit again
%
< jnap> look what you did mst, I promised myself a nap and now I'm 
        reading a dissertation 
%
< sobel> i'm so congested alexa didn't understand me
< sobel> really, it's my kid's AI, i only ever say "computer STOP" 
         because her alarm goes off incessantly
< sobel> but today it wouldn't seem to understand my saying, "cob puter stob"
%
< Dom> I had an email a few days ago to say I had new message(s) in my 
       inbox. I logged in and there was no inbox.
< Dom> I logged in again today and it said I had 1 new message(s). I read 
       *both* of them and now I have -1 remaining.
%
< alh> Don't hold your breath
< mst> if I was going to asphyxiate somebody to make this feature happen it 
       wouldn't be -me- I'd choose, no.
< alh> I'm not fully aware of your ... proclivities 
%
<sobel> someone told him perl was crusty and now that's a fact for him
<sobel> like, shit mang. don't tell anyone how old unix is.
<sobel> gonna be hell to pay when they find out we made all the machines 
        out of fucking beach sand
%
< revhippie> > ALLOW_INVALID_DATES may be useful for Web applications that
             obtain year, month, and day in three different fields and store
             exactly what the user inserted, without date validation.
< revhippie> well, that's handy, mysql. "this is intended to support garbage."
%
< shaldannon> what they say about California ... "where the earth moves 
              and the traffic doesn't"
%
-!- sobel [~matt@66.219.34.76] has joined #chat
< sobel> welp, there goes the neighborhood
< phaylon> it sometimes already feels like eli roth directed an episode 
           of sesame street, so not sure we'll notice :)
%
< gwern> ... oh geez, he just died, so emailing him is definitely out of
         the question
%
<+wodencafe> throw new AssertionError("No 
             java.nio.charset.StandardCharsets instances for you!");
<+wodencafe> This is actually in the standard library. Hooligans.
%
< ragingrobot> aol: "yo, what's up?" "asl" "i'm so fucked today, my dog got
               hit by a truck" "asl" "tomorrow i may die of cancer" "asl"
< audio> 18/f/cali ;)
< ragingrobot> irl: that translates to 65/m/alabama
%
< quanticle> who serves dinner parties with actual linen napkins anymore?
< catern> as a millenial I prefer paper towels
< mst> catern: I guess it would feel bad if the place settings were less 
       disposable than you are, sure
%
< mst> "what's the difference between america and yoghurt?" "if you leave
        yoghurt on its own for long enough, eventually it develops a culture"
< quanticle> I mean, tbf, that's a difference between America and *milk*
< quanticle> Once it develops the culture, it's yogurt
%
< xiaomiao> friesisch?
< sobel> esperanto, lojban
< xiaomiao> it made more sense in the original klingon
%
< ether> I hear IKEA's CEO was elected prime minister of Sweden.  He's 
         now busy assembling his cabinet.
%
<mst> I didn't want to have a go at him but also "FFS, kid"
<sobel> yes, that
<sobel> my god are we becoming responsible elders or something
<mst> what a terrifying thought
%
< feepbot> <gwern> https://twitter.com/CatWorkers/status/1458441028013371397
< |dbotdan> cats with jobs (@CatWorkers, 2021-11-10 14:26) Images: 
            https://nitter.skrep.in/pic/media%2FFD1sXR3XIAYqev-.jpg
            (description: a cat with a sign on its back; confidence: 0.48)
%
< Kassandry> Push them off a balcony into a pool of alligators?
< sungo> at the time, yeah that was a possiblity. the second floor fire 
         escape that we all used to avoid walking past the project 
         managers, at the time, was directly over animal infested swamps
%
<erry> 2 aroaces sitting in a tree; H E L P  U S  W E  C A N T  G E T  D O W N
%
< velix> oh dear, pg_receivewal needs replication sluts
< velix> slots!
< mst> .oO "promiscuous replication"
< davidfetter> I guess they're always in a dtf state
%
< velix> The left-overs from the vietnamese guy are tasty.
< velix> Wait, that sounds crazy.
-!- velix is now known as vorelix
%
-!- GeekRuthie has joined #chat
 * GeekRuthie finds her way back in.
 * GeekRuthie hunts for something to blame on pirateFinn.
< pirateFinn> Oh no what did I forget I did now 
%
< ragingrobot> brb makin myself a raktajino
<+bin> whats your raktajino recipe, ragingrobot 
< ragingrobot> bin: I try to keep it simple: espresso, cinnamon, cardamom
< ragingrobot> and maybe a little whiskey for an O'Brien raktajino :)
%
< mst> I quite like sticking a half scoop of chocolate ice cream into coffee
<+She> mst: We call this mixture "affrontgato".
%
< phaylon> the building I grew up with was originally accidentally built 
           without toilets in 1923
%
<+wodencafe> Don't worry, I'm laughing at you, not with you.
%
< sobel> learning to work with the tools now baked into modern languages 
         has been super interesting to me. i'm receptive to gripes about 
         'automagic' languages but making sand produce computation is 
         already sufficient magic to me
%
<mst> damnit where is my awake
<erry> beats me
<erry> if you find it let me know if mine is also there
%
 * TBSliver was pinged... *sees Oracle mentioned* Nope. Nope nope nope
%
< mst> > "Look I know I'm wrong but every time I hear the word "gastropub" a
       little voice in my head immediately whispers "...pub for snails"
< LeoNerd> If a gastropub had little covid-safe eating booths for every 
           customer, could you call those gastropods?
%
< LeoNerd> Oh boo.. I fixed that bug but forgot to work in a reference to 
           "self-sealing stem bolts" in the comments
%
<erry> but i feel bad about it
<mst> yes, well, that happens no matter what
<mst> "roll a d6 on the anxietying erry table"
<erry> *rolls a nat 20 on a d6*
%
< LeoNerd> Personal update: My leg operation actually happened, finally. 
< mst> LeoNerd: is it still attached?
< LeoNerd> I guess so. I mean, I can wiggle my toes and see them
< LeoNerd> So either that, or your Object::Remote has gained new abilities ;)
%
< ether> so my husband and I have decided we don't want children.
< ether> we'll be telling them tonight.
%
No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here
Mostly embarrassing deeds, as a matter of fact
%
< neilb> p5p's law: "it's a bit more weird and twisted than you might 
         imagine, even when you take into account p5p's law"
%
< [Tux]> sudo cpupower frequency-set -g performance ; make -j8
< ilmari> TIL cpupower. I've just been fiddling about in 
          /sys/devices/system/cpu/cpufreq/ like some kind of caveman
%
< ilmari> try and avoid imagining extra problems that don't exist - 
          programming is hard enough when you only have to deal with the 
          real ones.
< ilmari> Step back. Explain what you're trying to achieve.
%
< sungo> you know, the thing I want right now is an aerosol version of 
         the vaccine. then i want to hire all those assholes that 
         non-consensually spray me with cologne at the mall or wherever, 
         stock them with the aersol vaccine and let them loose in crowds
%
< sungo> right now I kinda want to murder things. well, more than usual.
%
< sobel> definitely gonna stop that malicious curl traffic by threatening the 
         author of a world-famous http util. it literally pulls the cat right
         back into the bag, amazing.
< sobel> my actual cat said raow right after i sent that
%
< k-man> i wish there was a wwmstdo function
< k-man> what would mst do 
< k-man> you input a cpan module, and it outputs what mst would use instead
%
<Kassandry> Fucking mornings. I have so much adrenaline going through me 
            I swear if I sneeze Vulcans are going to land in Montana 
            asking "That was most fascinating. Humans got a warp core 
            faster than we thought."
%
< Hecate> love my db admin
< Hecate> > but technically, for my part, the app is doing the 
          ratelimiting on the db. by crashing, which is bad, but my 
          precious db is ok ! :)
%
< perigrin> asynchronous programming, Three most common problems: 
            caching, fenceposts, naming things (including verbs)
%
<erry> Anyway after that our PM told them to calm the fuck down and to 
       make a ticket and prioritise it
<erry> Suddenly it's not a "do it yesterday" emergency
<erry> it talks to the product manager or it gets the hose
%
 * LeoNerd mildly amused there's a debian package called wbritish-insane
%
< sobel> i'm so over it. i used to try to make jokes like, "i could hire 
         better coders at Build-a-Bear workshop" but THEY'RE NOT FUNNY
%
< random> I am having a day of Pol WTF Did You DO?
< random> (Disney Plus doesn't work on the wifi)
< random> ...if my wifi is somehow bouncing through Hetzner...
%
< cat-xeger> bad day. no biscuits.
-!- LeoNerd [~leo@genoa.dictatorshipcake.co.uk] has joined #chat
< LeoNerd> \o/ I return
 * cat-xeger drops teh bin of biscuits on leonerd's toes
%
< phaylon> mst: je m'appelle phaylon, je suis un fromage <- all I got left
%
< cat-xeger> welp... I just caused the marketing rep's brain/script to go boom
< cat-xeger> "could you answer just with a letter which range you and your
              spouses combined salary are in?"  "my spouse is dead" <pause>
%
-!- TorgoX [~torgo@S010610561194533f.ed.shawcable.net] has joined #perl
< TorgoX> FROZEN PIPE woooo-hoooooo!
< TorgoX> And I don't mean the thing from when you close a channel from   
          my $DONGS, "-|",   "ls",  "--sort=size"  too early
%
When my friend was getting his degree in Economics he said that someone
had made a graffiti on one of the desks in the lecture hall that was the
Guns 'n Roses logo but it said "Guns 'n Butter". :)
 -- @WhippleMarc
%
< TrueWolves> The best part of computers is they do exactly what they've 
              been told. The worst part of computers is they do exactly 
              what they've been told, and you're not always the one 
              they're listening to.
%
< sobel> claims of a new "roaring twenties" seem to be greatly exaggerated
< sungo> we assumed that we humans would be doing the roaring. if you're 
         a coronavirus, this decade fucking rules
%
< ilmari> we were talking about HTTP GET with a body the other day. today 
          I discovered an API that uses DELETE with a body!
< mst> ilmari: WHAT
< mst> ilmari: *WHAT*
%
< Altreus> thank you for loosening that rope before I kicked the chair away
< mst> de rien
< mst> I'm sure you'll come in handy for -something- later
< Altreus> Bring seasoning
%
< sobel> i had a very unusual thing happen to me this morning. my stereo 
         remote ran its batteries dead. they usually get lost or the 
         equipment is outdated or failed first.
5
< cd> I turn 45 in just over two weeks, how did I manage to survive this long?
< ccooke> cd: Spite?
< cd> but I'm too lazy to be spiteful...
< ccooke> Did I say it was *your* spite?
%
< Dom> I remember when we had just completed moving a load of kit from 
       the datacentre in Chelmsford to the one in Hemel Hempstead and 
       were happy that it had gone live without a hitch.
< Dom> That was the day before the Buncefield storage depot blew up.
%
-!- LeoNerd [~leo@jaffa.dictatorshipcake.co.uk] has joined #io-async
< LeoNerd> A new cake
< LeoNerd> (A good British jaffa cake, because it's now hosted in DO's 
           LON-1 dc, rather than genoa being in AMS)
%
< mst> oh for fuck's sake I typed 'gaurd clause'
< mst> welp, fuckit, close enough
< ether> better than gourd clause
< ether> where's your perl pumpkin now
%
< Altreus> The nice thing about Perl is that no matter how much effort
           people put into protecting you from yourself, there's always a
           way around it
< LeoNerd> Perl: Sufficient Rope
%
< PapuaHardyNet> man, child swapping sounds so wrong
< PapuaHardyNet> it reminds me of wife swapping
< mst> do not fuck the other person's child
< adiabatic> hey, it's not incest anymore, right?
%
-!- Irssi: Starting query in libera with jberger
<mst> FUCK YOU WITH A RAKE AND GROUND GLASS CHILLI LUBE
<jberger> I mean, I guess I probably deserve it, but why?
<mst> oh, good, I -am- connected to libera again
%
<erry> the HR sent a test email of job change accidentally
<erry> anyway my job title is now ""
%
< cat-xeger> I laughed loudly enough to get the cats to pay attention
%
< cyborg_ar> just get a roll of heavy duty aluminum foil
< cyborg_ar> then you can make a stylish hat to wear too
< ChuangTzu> stylish and functional
< Hecate> did someone say Haskell™?
%
< peerce> i wonder when the bean counters will finally figure out that 
          outsourcing everything just leads to dreck.
< sobel> oh they did, and they chose dreck
%
< cat-xeger> Cant type
< mst> -!- cat-xeger is now known as javascript
< cat-xeger> Oh c'mon... I only screwed up letters, not letters and 
             everything else!
%
<+Sauvin> Ladies and gentlemen, this airplane is about to crash. Fasten 
          your seatbelts and put your heads between your knees.
<+Sauvin> Um, sir, between your *own* knees.
%
< gwern> the real question: can gray goo run Doom?
< PlanckWalk> I'm sure it can, but does it want to?
< gwern> the hackers will make sure it does
< gwern> they'll defy being eaten just to hack Doom and a NES emulator onto it
%
< Obormot> -1 byte, lol
< Obormot> If you request this URL, the GW server reaches into your computer
           and takes 1 byte away from you
%
 * gwern googles 'epub icon' and calls the designers into his office. 'we
  worked hard! they're great aren't they' 'EVERY SINGLE ONE IS A SQUARE WITH
  THE WORD 'EPUB' IN IT' 'WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING' 'BECAUSE YOU ARE BAD
  DESIGNERS AND SHOULD FEEL BAD'
%
< adiabatic> quanticle: you forgot I am one of the RETVRN types here
< mst> adiabatic: I don't believe you, I've never yet seen you GOSUB
< quanticle> lol
< adiabatic> eh, point
%
< Obormot> Surely it's not intuitive or natural to make the connection from
           "this is a link to some sort of big file I guess" to "if I mouse
           over this link then my browser will detonate and take out half my
           apartment block in the ensuing explosion"
%
< hobbs> I did not know there was a River Exe
< simcop2387> i'm sure england has lots of exes.  i blame henry the viii 
              for a lot of them
< hobbs> to be fair, he did his part to reduce the number
%
< LeoNerd> After two solid days of trying to hack up Parse::Man to 
           actually understand the output of pod2man, it finally runs to 
           completion and outputs... something. My quote: "Well, it is 
           wrong. But it's not *that* wrong"
%
< ilmari> last time I used openstack I broke anyone sharing a group with 
          me logging in
< ilmari> behold the åsome power of my name \o/
%
<mst> I would not expect you to take swings at people ... I would expect 
      you to smile sweetly at the time and then wait several years until 
      you had the opportunity to slide a knife up under their ribcage in 
      a dark alley ... while also smiling sweetly
%
< erry> my friend recommended the nitro cold brew
< erry> in other news keep an eye out for news of an overcaffeinated enby 
        scaling the empire state building
%
 * erry wakes up, nopes, takes sick/mental health day, goes back to bed
< erry> it wanted a description in the sick day request
< erry> i put "my brain is a potato"
< erry> i think that's accurate
%
< ether> I don't want to contemplate what "it" is.
%
< erry> 26C x_x
 * erry melt
< erry> there's a "genderfluid" joke there i guess
%
< xiaomiao> tl;dr: intel hates everything, especially you
%
< mst> there are non-hipster parts of brooklyn?
< Obormot> Yes! There's The Orthodox Jewish Part, The Russian Part, The
           Chinatown Part, and of course The Part Where You Will Get Your
           Ass Capped For Real Tho
%
< cat-xeger> ah, the fun of trying to make it up the stairs in the dark 
             with black cats rushing past...
%
< mdk> Hah. Just found out that kids break up tomorrow at 2p.m. so I 
       cannot make my own meeting
%
< LeoNerd> Also: Whatwhywhat are you doing?
%
< marcus> Just tell them “it’s your fault for making me talk to mst”.
%
12:48 < cat-xeger> blearfthud
12:52 < erry> same thanks
12:52 < erry> well not right now because i'm caffeinated
12:52 < erry> but i definitely woke up with blearfthud
%
14:38 < BinGOs> mst: hey when you have a chance can you +o GumbyNET5 and 
                GumbyNET7 on #cpantesters please. Many tanks in advance
[fx: mst throws /mode #cpantesters +oo GumbyNET5 GumbyNET7 at the problem]
14:43 < BinGOs> Many tanks in advance" was what happened at the Battle of Kursk
%
< castaway> see "staging is talking to the production db" ;)
< pirateFinn> ....oh
 * pirateFinn screams
%
<Kassandry> Manager in a meeting: "Lacey doesn't carry makeup, she has a 
            system rescue cd" Me: "No, I have the system rescue cd on a 
            USB stick right next to my chapstick"
%
< ilmari_> Nicholas: yep, I've added a keyword highlight for ilmari_
< Nicholas> and for lunch_ ? :-)
< ilmari_> Nicholas: baguette in the park from the Greek cafe
< mst> ilmari_: on a scale of 0 to nox, how angry was the baguette?
%
 * mst offers tea and/or hugs and/or bourbon
<sobel> thanks, and through the magic of irc's baked-in international 
        currency and liquor converter, i'm enjoying a nice cloudy sake
%
< Su-Shee> I tried to cleanup my bookmarks/tabs. Only 472 tabs to go
%
< huf> are you a soldier of napoleon or are you just happy to see me?
< huf> (Every French soldier carries a marshal's baton in his knapsack. 
       -- Nappy)
< mst> huf: don't you get france all over my diaper fetish bitch
%
<mst> I may be a bit out of touch here, but only in the sense of "I was 
      getting punched in the head by chav idiots while you were still in 
      primary school"
%
< mst> Machi Basad.
< mst> shit.
< mst> Machi Bhasad.
< Mithaldu> bloodywood?
%
<mst> I try to be nice. I really do.
<mst> but at a certain point, "fair game" applies.
<mst> or: "who does he think he is?"
<mst> me: "how sure are you that you want the answer to that question?"
%
< ilmari> so many faces, so few palms
%
< zelest> but then again, you also have voice control for everything on a Tesla
< zelest> you can even say "open butthole" to open the charge port :)
%
<mst> the only indoor only cat I can think of is Darwin and that's cos he 
      has dental issues that means he'd hurt himself if he killed anything
<Kassandry> I need more coffee. I read that as "mental issues"
<mst> I mean, that too.
%
< pndc> Some of us gain tact and manners in our dotage.
< pndc> For example, I politely informed a crypto recruiter I was not
        interested and left it at that without even using four-letter words.
%
< phaylon> truth of the day: vegan salami counts as salad
%
< sobel> i used to get bank holidays off, then i took an arrow to the knee
%
< mst> cat-xeger: metaphorically, yes, very much
< mst> cat-xeger: literally? not with a borrowed cock.
< cat-xeger> That's infinitely funnier when I think of it as some poor, 
             scrawny, borrowed rooster.
%
< alh> mst: You're far too kind
< mst> alh: not something I get accused of often :D
< alh> A part of me did die inside while typing that
%
< mst> plicease: "I've gone blind, Arthur!" "No you haven't, you're 
       wearing your peril sensitive sunglasses and it's 2022"
< thrig> perl sensitive sunglasses might be reasonable
%
< two2thehead> By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally
               interpreted the bible correctly
< two2thehead> "A man who lays with another man should be stoned"
%
< revhippie> It's the Gordon Ramsay of code review?
< TieUpYourCamel> well yeah except Gordon Ramsay doesn't do "gentle"
< thrig> paging Dr. mst paging Dr. mst code to review
%
< Altreus> this is so weird ... does this just not work or something
< thrig> a) firewall b) proxy c) other
< Altreus> literally just installed it on my digital ocean
< thrig> c) cloud d) other
%
21:42 < cat-xeger> I'm sure there are better things in this world than a comfy 
                   heated chair and a purring cat, but... can't think of any
[...]
22:24 < cat-xeger> different, more demanding cat, same setup
%
< zelest> the "h" in "system development" stands for happiness
%
< nox> mst: Do you have weird people with sticks, who pretend they can 
       find water sources with them?
< mst> nox: ohhh, dowsing rods
< nox> mst: This thread has people using dowsing rods to find gas pipes
%
< ilmari> I'm going to bruges with some friends of mine in november, and 
          they're planning on getting the 08:16 eurostar
< ilmari> I might just get the 18:04 the day before …
< DrHyde> hours with a zero in them just shouldn't be allowed.
%
< mst> mostly I refer to en_US as either 'English (rebellious colonial)' 
       or 'English (but afraid of the letter u)'
< Myon> 'English (center of the world)' and 'English (centre of the world)'
< Berge> "English (favourite language)", "English (favorite language)"
%
< mst> but also this is the spirit of perl
< mst> if we hadn't already decided we could live with that trade-off, 
       why the fuck are we even here? :D
< ether> habit
%
< kerio> [patrik]: i was thinking of occasionally selecting a field or two
          and inserting and reading back 500mb of json blob
< [patrik]> 500mb of json seems to be a broken design. whats in that json?
< rk4> pain
%
< zelest> Me and the lady booked a cabin like that going from Berlin to Sweden
< zelest> The train boards a ship and goes by sea to Sweden
< zelest> So.. I've literally had sex on a train AND a boat at the same time!
< zelest> #weirdflex
%
<cat-xeger> "slept" like crap last night... was also a cat highway
%
< cat-xeger> It's 03:30 here.
< erry> F
< erry> RIP
< erry> that's a forbidden hour xD
%
< Nicholas> Beware of low flying meetings
 * ilmari spots one on the horizon (16:00)
 * ilmari decides he wants a steak sandwich
< ilmari> decision paralysis, what's that?
< Nicholas> a recipie for starvation
%
< kd> this is bad code, it's got cancer
< kd> in fact it's so bad its cancer has got cancer
%
< gwern> a programmer goes to his psychiatrist. 'doc, I keep seeing giant
         snakes in my dreams attacking me, do I have penis problems?
         FREUD: "No, you just have Python dependency and migration problems.
         I'm afraid psychoanalysis is powerless to help. That will be $120.
%
<erry> they have nitro cold brew in this wework
<erry> i want to try that at some point
<erry> they might have to remove me from the london eye when i climb it
<erry> but that's a small sacrifice to make
%
< simcop2387> ok car names work too well when prefixed with "Anal". Ford: Anal
              Explorer, Anal Focus, Anal Fiesta.  Dodge: Anal Charger, Anal
              Challenger, Anal Avenger, Anal Ram.  Jeep: Anal Wrangler.
< simcop2387> oh and Ford: Anal Probe
%
< pragma-> sticky headers and footers are kind of annoying
< pragma-> especially the ones that appear only when you scroll up
< thrig> there's a sticky header in irssi
< LeoNerd> I had a sticky footer once...turned out someone had spilled treacle
%
< Altreus> Remember <noscript>? We should have that but for monitors.
           <nomouse>Your fingers are too fat to use this site. Get a PC</>
%
< buu> Cats have boundaries and dogs have codependence
%
< mst> did you know: there is an RFC for transmitting SOAP over SMTP
< Zr40> mst: I did not want to know that
< sobel> mst: I did not want to know that
< mst> neither did I, which is why I obviously had to share.
%
< LeoNerd> Currently, the Voyager 1 space probe is over 14 billion miles 
           away from Earth, receding at a speed of 38 thousand miles per 
           hour, and I for one don't blame it
%
<erry> i've been in the UK for over 10 years now
<erry> do i get cake
<erry> at this stage if ther's a celebratory cake for living in the uk 
       it's probably upside down and on fire
%
-!- Blue-Maned_Hawk [~Thunderbi@2600:1700:e4c0:9ea0::518] has quit [Quit: 
    why do we call it oven when of in cold the food of out hot eat the food]
%
<sevvie> I've been bouncing between projects at work because they are pure
         calcified snot at moving on anything.
%
<sobel> at some point a friend tried to describe me succinctly, and i 
        don't remember her description, but i remember my correction: i 
        just have a way of stating the obvious in such a way as to annoy 
        you the most
%
Coffee FIRST. Plug in the cat. Read the daily hatemail.
Despair for the future of humanity. Buy Whiskey.
  -- from @Stonekettle's twitter bio
%
< Su-Shee> sorry for my weird typos, german and english kezboard
%
< kd> there's a comment in the code saying the work was abandoned due to 
      oracle 8 in 2004
< mst> kd: there is still code in DBIC to rewrite JOIN stuff to oracle 8
< kd> I'll be in my bunk
%
< mst> the inside of my head is usually far more interesting than other 
       people even when sober, so, sure :D
< erry> mst: i'm sure "interesting" is one word for it..
%
 * mst tries to keep his drinking to a reasonable-ish level
< mst> after all, both my parents died of lung cancer, I've got a family 
       tradition to keep up
< alh> Your realize your lungs aren't in your hips, right?
%
<Kassandry> Reminds me of the time another student complained about being 
            graded on a curve, and the teacher said "We're grading on a 
            curve because the only one who would have passed is Lacey"
%
< simcop2387> i cannot think of anything more appropriate.  
              https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-63423811
< Paper> Link title(s): [ Piet Mondrian artwork displayed upside down for 
         75 years - BBC News ]
%
< Rosemary> A few years back a python escaped two streets away from here and
            the owner was just like "keep your cats indoors but honestly it'll
            have just curled up somewhere, it's too cold for it" and sure
            enough it showed up three gardens down the street.
%
< sobel> no really, you wanted php to run client side too
 * sobel takes an antacid
%
<erry> testosterone implies the existence of stagingosterone and prodtosterone
%
< mst> we already said don't do that
< PapaChub> As a wise person once said: "learning crazy shit is fine by me"
< mst> don't accuse me of being wise
< mst> I'm just a madman with a box
%
< dmq> leonerd: when i first read your message i thought you said 
       "midevil" instead of "nontrivial". :-)
< LeoNerd> dmq: You know me, why would I pick the *mid* evil? Go full 
           evil or go home :P
%
< rmmh> "School fined after pupil suffers 'terrible burns' and loses 8 
        fingers after trying to make cast of her hands with plaster of 
        paris" what's in the box? pain
5
< sobel> i don't really want to be up but here i am
< sobel> bed was warm and i was under a cat but he decided it was time 
         for breakfast
< sobel> i don't make the rules around here, i just pay the bills
%
 * Altreus starts a fire
< Altreus> not that I'm any good at it. Fucking burn
< Altreus> I dunno how the fuck people burn their houses down with a cigarette
           when I can't make shit burn that's designed to fucking burn
%
< erry> i'm not good at computers
< mst> well, yeah, you only spent a year working for me, I had limited 
       time to train you up
< erry> :P
%
-!- Netsplit over
< mst> fuck's sake. sorry about that. thought I'd got it bolted back together
< LeoNerd> Ahyes, I've had bolts like that... 
< simcop2387> self sealing stem bolts?
%
<erry> speaking of names, some times people think it's pronounced like 'eerie'
<erry> very eerie, much enby, such blob, wow
<erry> it's pronounced like 'error', of course
<erry> that's why my slack 'job title' is 'internal server erry'
%
< ether> the cat just came and gave me a headbonk, and she smells like bacon
%
< Altreus> Every extra dot is an extra is
< Altreus> That's an ellipsisis
< mst> wut
< Altreus> Ellipsis is 3 dots and that's 4 so it's an ellipsisis
%
< mst> I was a founding hackspace member because it seemed like a cool idea
       ... but then never showed up because frankly I'd've just been underfoot
< LeoNerd> One of our founders was quite similar
< LeoNerd> He then moved to California and we didn't notice for quite a while
%
< Mithaldu> i feel like i'm having to explain a magic trick to a dog
%
 * ilmari hears lots of honking outside, looks at sportsball results
< ilmari> ah, morocco beat spain 3-0 on penalties
%
< mst> perl lets you do stuff simply and that's Not Wrong
< mst> but it also gives you a fuckload of extra power if you want it
< mst> that's the aesthetic :D
< thrig> swiss army footgun
%
* pedja wonders how long until "we travel back in time to steal satoshi's
        btc stash" heist movie
< mst> pedja: given the state of the crypto industry presumably that would
       mean building a reTARDIS ?
%
< mst> I hate CDATA so much
< huf> it's really great for incompetent php programmers when they cant 
       write escaping correctly
< huf> CDATA gives them false hope
%
* erry gets under electric blanket tho
<mst> hey. I grabbed the jumper.
<mst> that means it's actually cold :D
<erry> yeah that must mean it's like -40 there
%
15:38 <erry> AERGH
15:38 <erry> arghhhhhhhhhhh
15:41 <erry> argh argh argh argh argh argh
%
< mst> vms14: that's what try/catch is for
< vms14> I'd say a warning would be enough
< thrig> and then noise and then 2>/dev/null and then a critical bug gets 
         missed and Amazon Payments went down
%
< LeoNerd> I wonder about the other kinds of kebabs... blitzen kebab, 
           prancer kebab, ...
< thrig> time to rein in that imagination
%
<mst> them: The cats have sodding dropped slugs on my bare chest before
<mst> me: Bet that left you feeling salty
<cat-xeger> cats always know too much.
<cat-xeger> also, yeah, helps to get a grip.
%
< thrig> peace sells, but who is dying?
< vms14> thrig: the one who gets his code mantained by mst
< vms14> he will come with his captured rats to devour you
< vms14> you're lucky cause you'll just make more rat juice
%
< perigrin> and the rats weren't captured, they came willingly ... he rescued
            them from toke.c ... they were afraid of gnawing their way out
            because even rats aren't sure what happens if you make changes to
            perl's tokenizer.
%
< thrig> := temporary ::= super temporary :::= temporary and eject warp core
%
<mst> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
<mst> fucking children
<mauke> .oO( do not fuck the children )
 * mst glares
%
< ilmari> Optimist: The glass is half full.
          Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
          Excel: The glass is January 2nd.
%
< v`> mst: supermarket has an imported from europe aisle so i looked for 
      the chocolate biscuits your pet rat liked but they're not there
 * v` bitterly disappointed
%
< erry> huh, there's sun
< erry> i think i'd forgotten what sun is
< Altreus> I WANNA FEEL WHAT SUN IS ♫
< cat-xeger> Stay away from the fusion reactor, dammit!
%
<mst> after the day I discovered a core handler in a CGI::Application 
      codebase deployed under mod perl that did part of its dispatch by 
      doing a string eval of an unvalidated and unescaped query parameter 
      very little scares me anymore
%
< erry> for legal reasons i'm not going to blow up westminster
%
< erry> *coughs a lung out*
< erry> covid? RIP
< Hecate> erry: RIO -> Rest In Ouzo
%
< mst> the only sane interaction with File::Slurp is removing it and replacing
       it with something that actually works
< mst> hence the rage level attached to me discussing it :)
< ology> select rage_level from mst where discussion like '%File::Slurp%';
%
< peerce> 9.6 ? why such an ancient version ?
< ButtDog> Was using a dockerfile I found. It happened to use it.
< peerce> wow do you pick up used gum off the street, and chew it too?
< ButtDog> Sure
%
< two2thehead> Why yes, it *does* look like he's using meat to bait the crane.
%
< feep> rent-a-friend-who-is-a-girl, the new, somehow even sadder, manga
< two2thehead> >_>
< feep> friendr
< gwern> the hit new toyline, SaaSy Girl
%
 * gwern squints. is this a code for weird sex things
< mst> gwern: not everything is an in-your-end-o
< gwern> mst: ha, like I believe that coming from you!
< mst> gwern: emphasis on 'coming' I guess
%
< mst> I'm still disappointed they never did a Guitar Hero: Nirvana Edition
< mst> the custom editions usually came with an extra instrument and I was
       looking forwards to the shotgun
< sobel> you can play the Elvis edition on the toilet
%
< erry> > what's the capital of greece
< erry> > about 20 euros
%
< CoJaBo> The first bad sign was finding a connecting rod in the tire.
< mst> amateur.
< mst> a true pro like Laura Loomer doesn't even need a connecting rod.
< CoJaBo> Apparently, neither do we
%
< Obormot> What if someone on your staff is so distraught about potential
           data loss that they're about to jump out a window
< gwern> 'I see. you make a good case for killing yourself. once you
         implement that, I'll close your ticket.'
%
< Zr40> the raw value wraps around at 2^28 as does the health value
< mst> just apply the same code you're already using to handle SNMP data
< Zr40> I'm not :D
< Zr40> which I suppose means I am
%
< Hecate> u rox
< nox> No I nox
%
< simcop2387> also there's a cat in the way and i can't see what i'm typing
%
< user> why is my development server restarting every request
< user> oh, the change detection code is seeing the sqlite WAL files
< mst> but that code defaults to only looking in lib/ and templates/
< user> I don't like subdirs so I put everything possible in one directory
%
< feep> they call it 'oven' even though of out hot eat the food
< feep> they call it 'oven' even though of out hot eat the food
< feep> ..... oops sorry, you are not the right xterm to arrow up return in
%
< XORXERY> It occurred to me some years ago that the mating call of the 
           nerd is: May I put my one into your zero?
%
< tm604> dvorak user located
< mst> arming lawn defence cannon
< huf> lawns are white supremacist, so please dont defend them
< tm604> white? the fuck you been feeding your grass?
%
< erry> there's screenshots of target substituting tampons for mushrooms
< erry> r/nononono
< mst> I guess whether that makes sense depends on whether you have a
       Donald Trump fetish
%
< geir> Is there a word for misspelling words because you usually write
        something similar? Such as serve => server, or normal => normail.
< perigrin> I call it 'typing'
%
< erry> me: accidentally cmd+p on my mac terminal
< erry> the terminal: shows me a print preview, complete with syntax 
        highlighting colours
< erry> me: youtriedstar.jpg
%
<mst> heh. it just occurred to me that the people I used to refer to as
     'right SJWs' are even better described as 'Mirror Universe Wokescolds'
<Kassandry> OMG WOKESCOLD LORCA
<Kassandry> Mr Rhys, could I trouble you to whine at something
%
< nox> mst: Yeah saw the entire thread and when I was reading the lack of 
       caffeine part I almost walked head first in a pole in the street 
       so that was pretty appropriate
%
Attempting an earnest conversation with someone from Gawker on Twitter is
like attempting to play Risk with a dog.
  - Jesse Singal
%
< EvanCarroll> HALLO EVERYONE IT IS I, EVAN THE GREAT
 * mst removes the top three layers of your skin
< mst> BEHOLD, EVAN THE GRATED
< thrig> probably a lot of grating for a pound of flesh
%
< Altreus> It's an extra skill, I've found, to build one in a tiny iron stove
           that you can barely fit a damn log in.
< Kassandry> Or you chop the logs smaller, burn a hotter fire, and be toasty.
< Altreus> I tried chopping them. I broke the patio.
%
< dbohdan> Let's wait until Friday the 13th and see what simcop2387 posts
           before we judge his authenticity
< simcop2387> so you're asking for a bunch of gay porn then?
< dbohdan> Only for verification process
%
 * mst wonders if docker's corporate disclosure statements include as a risk
       factor "loss of essential institutional knowledge due to accidentally
       forgetting to only ever buy edible crayons for the office"
%
< perigrin> you gotta take that in the context of when mst does
            front-end work …
< perigrin> there isn't enough compiler to make scream for him
            to be comfortable
%
< Obormot\Arcturus> Barefoot? Bah, that is for uncivilized savages
< mst> -!- mst is now known as uncivilised_savage
< mst> though of course I still had to correct the spelling - after all, I 
       might be uncivilised but I wouldn't want to be mistaken for *American*
%
< tirnanog> which is not what you have in the paste.
< gloin> ... d'oh
 * gloin goes off to rearrange the cargo crates on the beach so they 
    somewhat more resemble an aircraft
%
< Berge> _Slightly_ worried for a moment there since you mentioned AWS (-:
< depesz> not rds. come on.
< Berge> Would be very out of character for you!
< mst> right, clearly depesz is an aurora fanatic
%
< mesaoptimizer2> maybe she was a very aggressive lesbian
< CoJaBo> Honestly, that probably describes half our workforce at this 
          point. She'll fit in.
%
< xiaomiao> the customer is king? I'll get the guillotine out of storage ...
%
< average> I was actually thinking of getting a fanny pack myself..
< average> idk what to put in it..
< thrig> boiled makeshift bandages, spare ammo, cattail jelly
%
< Altreus> not my circus, not my monkeys
< mst> ook?
< Altreus> I mean apes! Apes!
%
< LeoNerd> Ohyeah strftime is a right fucker
< LeoNerd> strptime doubly so
%
< erry> of all companies, uniqlo chose yodel to deliver a 100 quid coat
< erry> are you kidding me
< erry> i'd have more chances of getting that parcel if they just 
        airdropped in the general direction of london
%
 * GumbyPAN CPAN Upload: LUGS-Events-Parser-0.13 by SCHUBIGER 
< ology> LUG nuts
< LeoNerd> Self-sealing?
< simcop2387> LeoNerd: those are stem bolts not nuts
%
< LeoNerd> English's approach to commas is much like Perl's approach to 
           parens on function calls
< LeoNerd> "eh sometimes maybe, if you want"
< mauke> a comma chameleon, if you will
%
< Zr40> also today: "I have an applies_to table. If the table is empty 
        then I want it to apply to everything"
< mst> Zr40: surely you should just use a row with a NULL pk for that
< Myon> the evil is strong with mst today
%
< kraih> serverless is just like CGI, but you have to give Amazon your 
         credit card instead of using a standard API
%
< thrig> Cisco also used to have a "fixup SMTP" for some of their switches
< thrig> it would notice "EHLO host.name" and correct it to "HELO host.name"
< simcop2387> oh god why would you do that?
< thrig> security reasons
%
-!- simcop2387-web has joined #perl
< simcop2387-web> ugh knocking the power loose on your SAS expander 
                  causes all kinds of weird issues and zfs going "holy 
                  fucking shit what did you do, all your disks are dying"
%
Sales: "Can you come and have a look at this receipt printer please? It's
        got smoke coming out of it."
Me: "oh wow okay, did you turn it off?"
Sales: "I didn't want to touch it, it looked angry."
%
< mauke> cpan = remote code execution as a service
< integral> turing-completeness was a mistake
< thrig> the big bang was a mistake
< El_Che> luckily, we learnt from our errors and now we have npm
%
< ology> Wow someone already favorited my one day old creating rhythms module.
< Altreus> What a supportive mother!
%
< revhippie> My last cat was a big proponent of 
             "catch-and-release(-in-the-living-room)".
%
<@DrHyde> i want to write ++++current_row++, to increment current_row 
          twice, give me that value, and then increment it again, without 
          the compiler deciding that "ooh, exciting unspecified 
          behaviour, let's sing a song about frogs"
%
< Penfold> ok. back to figuring out where my FK value went. but first, lunch.
< mst> Penfold: did you check behind the sofa?
 * Penfold returns from behind sofa. One cat, a pound coin, two chargers
    (plugged in and running under it) and the PSU for the powered recline bit
%
< erry> i don't smoke
< cat-xeger> You clearly fume :P
< mst> I set fire to cigarettes, erry sets fire to kitchens
< erry> that only happened once!
%
< simcop2387> my cat watches videos of birds on a cheap tablet.
%
<Mithaldu> oh wait, i read it as human language, didn't realize it was perl
%
We were told to wait for some specialist equipment to be sent to facilitate
offloading and delivery. About an hour later the “specialist equipment”
arrived which turned out to be half a dozen hefty blokes loaded into the back
of a pickup truck.                   -- /u/omikl on /r/talesfromtechsupport
%
< adiabatic> I just noticed the "AM" in Anechoic Media's logo
< adiabatic> this is like seeing the arrow in the FedEx logo for the 
             first time, but 10,000x more indie
%
< quanticle> Also, why do you have an emergency Michelob Ultra in your 
             adderall cave
< quanticle> More to the point: Why do you have Michelob Ultra in any way 
             shape or form at all
%
<erry> i'd feed this code into ChatGPT but it'd probably kill itself
%
> I swear, 99% of users think we're telepathic, and "It's broken" is a proper
> fault report
well... y'see... for telepathy to actually work, there needs to be something
on the other end 'transmitting'. nothing transmitting == nothing to receive.
%
< aquanight> #  define PERL_GET_INTERP              (PL_curinterp) // 
             seems innocent enough right?
< aquanight> cannot seem to turn up a *definition* of PL_curinterp anywhere
< aquanight> it clearly exists. It clearly *has* to exist somehow.
%
< erry> BRAINS
< Hecate> erry: hiya
< erry> brain?
%
< leont> Patches welcome
< mst> not at this instant, I suspect
< mst> if I tried to suck somebody off right now they'd end up with a
       foreskin full of irssi internals the first time I coughed
%
<erry> when the form requires a value for gender when u select 'other'
<erry> if i put 'teapot' will they think i'm joking
<erry> :(
<erry> GENDER: 418 i'm a teapot
%
< mst> amusingly there -is- a parser for something called graph6
< mst> just ... not for dot
< cat-xeger> there's all sorts of things --> dot and/or graphviz
< cat-xeger> ... apparently we're nto supposed to go both ways
%
< Kassandry> I was hoping Fox wouldn't settle so Dominion could send in 
             the Jem'Hadar.
%
< ggreer> I think if you get killed by a saint bernard, it's
          justifiable homicide
%
< mst> https://trout.me.uk/violin2.jpg
< mst> Tardigrades: Playing the violins inherent in the cistern
< Thuryn> mst, is that the violin you play in sympathy for whiny people?
< thrig> yes. sympathy.
%
< erry> > hungry, desperate feral street cat to snuggly duvet monster
< erry> these are the two genders and i'm both of them
%
< Altreus> Jen's laptop became convinced the only camera available to chrome
           was the OBS virtual camera, even though OBS wasn't running
< Altreus> The only way to use the actual camera was to launch OBS
< Altreus> computers suck, has anyone else realised?
%
< davel> and oh, the 00:02 goes to Redhill!
< davel> note that there are no "00:00" trains, as "00:00" means "train
         does not stop at this station"
< dakkar> ah, the joys of magic values / in-band signaling
%
< Nicholas> but it's beyond zone 6. What sort of heresy is this?
< mst> ah, yes, the "civilisation ends at the M25" londonism
< Penfold> it does. the argument is about whether you approach from 
           outside or inside :D
%
< Obormot> You know what, every additional answer just makes me want to ask
           more (and increasingly horrified) questions, so I will take your
           word for it
%
< mauke> In Poland we say "poszatkować", which means the thing that happens
         to your mouth when you try to say it.
%
< thrig> maybe Theseus liked eating string candy
< mst> cursed AO3 thread titles: "Is Theseus the original ship?"
< huf>  i ship theseus with its past selves in an omnidimensional orgy
< thrig> none of that was in the version of Ancillary Justice that I read
%
< erry> sometimes the games just give you an impossible hand
< erry> just like in real life
< Kassandry> Impossible hand sounds like a superhero name.
< mst> or a combination yoga pose and masturbation technique
%
< Obormot> 'Under orders of the State Media Oversight Committee,
            the next edition of "War and Peace" will be retitled
            "Special Operation and Treason."'
%
< erry> i don't care for the coronation but i do care for having tomorrow off
< erry> can we just coronate someone every week
< erry> maybe they should coronate the curernt conservative pm.. I mean that'd
        be scary but we'd have a lot of days off given how long those last
%
< nickb> Sap - gradually weaken or destroy (a person's strength or power).
%
< mst> I just read this so now you have to as well: "Migrating the data 
       took a week. The first issue was how large our database is: 40gb."
< joepie91> ah yes, one of those phrases that seems completely innocent 
            unless you understand the implication
%
< cat-xeger> my cat branch grows bi black polydactyl cats
< cat-xeger> big
%
< Kassandry> *raises water bottle* To being weird!
< cat-xeger> campai!
< Kassandry> *swigs*
< cat-xeger> <-- waves arm about, confuses cats
%
< mst> yeah, so materialise that data via WITH or a subselect
< Penfold> or a separate select, as we have the data in hand cause we just created the fucking rows
< Penfold> mmmmduh
< Penfold> BRB
%
< mst> Ada would have trouble outsmarting a rock
< Kassandry> She has. She whapped one with her paw and was surprised it hurt.
< Kassandry> And then whapped it again. Three times before she caught on.
< Kassandry> So yes, she's had problems outsmarting rocks.
%
<erry> "most women want andrew tate" my uterus has got its shotgun and 
       locked itself in its room
%
<castaway> you, more smug than usual? that would be quite a thing :P
%
<erry> Watching Spongebob musical later this month in london :D :D
<erry> Can't wait
<mst> Who lurks in the memory under the C? SPONGEBOB SEGV
%
< mst> ... oh for crying out loud, it's the blowjobs spambots again
< mst> cunts.
< mst> (well, ok, slightly inaccurate, I'm sure the fucktards running 
       them have neither the warmth nor the depth ...)
%
<castaway> well that was fun, let's not do that again
%
Thus mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what
we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true.
  -- Bertrand Russell
%
< nox> How do you call a genderfluid person who is lactose intolerant?
< nox> Non buy-dairy
%
< cat-xeger> a friend misread terciel as tactical.  I like the idea of 
             tactical cat cuddles
%
< erry> oh wtf is going on
< erry> that looks like chatGPT had a seizure and then wrote code
< mst> well, yeah, but other than it being python?
< erry> oh shut up :D
%
< erry> i wish i could clone myself
< erry> but then I'd have to deal with my clones
< erry> I no longer wish I could clone myself
%
< Kassandry> *vrrrrrrm*
< erry> yes, that is the sound of over-caffeinated erry
< Kassandry> Like a gnome set on vibrate.
%
<erry> why don't washing machines have an 'incinerate' option
<mst> because you'd select it by mistake
%
< Kassandry> Nobody wants commander? That'll disappoint Riker fans.
< mst> now I have a mental image of Will Riker biting Secret Service agents
< Kassandry> I think he would, especially during jamaharon. 
< mst> [[ominous horga'hn music]]
%
 * Penfold buys an MDF laser flatbed cutter. go me.
< Penfold> Caution: do not look into laser with remaining eye.
%
< erry> if i dont beat myself up, someone else will
< erry> and it'll be worse
< sungo> get a magic marker, draw a penis on your forehead. then you and 
         everyone else are done with the shaming
%
< alethkit> "No one has ever been eaten by their pet knife"
%
13:01 < Zr40> the desk frame made it upstairs. Next, the surface
13:14 < Zr40> reassembly time!
13:38 < Zr40> You found loot: 1x Toe Cramp
13:38 < Zr40> ow
%
< erry> sounds like some sensible economics
< erry> capitalism means chart keep going up forever
 * xiaomiao looks at average temperature
< xiaomiao> welp, can't deny the capitalism
%
 * Leolo curses at his faulty UPS
< LeoNerd> Is it an Unhelpful Power Supply?
%
< mst> I don't think 'insane' has ever stopped any of us
< sungo> of course not. but I think it's at least important to give a 
         knowing nod to the insanity on the way past to make it clear we 
         understand each other
%
< cat-xeger> <-- tries opening one eye at a time
< cat-xeger> ... loses count
%
< Mithaldu> the most potent english weapon is the cuisine
< Mithaldu> also shoddy construction standards
%
<Kassandry> Yes, devs, when you use your words, I can get you what you want.
%
< Kassandry> I love how RDS hangs and cloudwatch alarms mean nothing and I 
             can't ssh into the server and fix it so yay $255/hr support 
             when we get it approved.
< Kassandry> Goatfucker.
%
<ember> Sorry lost my phone under a cat
%
< TrueWolves> I can write in a sub-2 font size.
< cat-xeger> can you read it?
%
<erry> yet again i'm like mx paranoid
%
< erry> my rolling wardrobe doors are slightly out of place but i can't fix it
< erry> so probably they're going to fall put and kill me in my sleep
< Kassandry> erry: Got really kinky, eh? Broke wardrobe doors.
< erry> i was careless when coming out of the closet.
%
< kraih> at this point i spend like half my working day in video calls :S
< mst> oh, right, you've reached -that- level of seniority
< mst> congratumiserations on your career progression
< kraih> *sob*
%
< erry> Erry has the following attacks: depression, anxiety, cry, code
%
<mst> What do a man who's had a vasectomy and a Christmas tree have in common?
<mst> Decorative balls.
<mdk> Not just decorative, I reclaim the protein and feast upon it, absorbing
      the many potential babies, it's why I can't visit Alabama anymore...