From: matthewt Date: Mon, 9 Oct 2006 18:04:53 +0000 (+0000) Subject: import from old scsys main X-Git-Url: http://git.shadowcat.co.uk/gitweb/gitweb.cgi?a=commitdiff_plain;h=fce65a03059856215d81194719e084737c4c6fbe;p=scpubgit%2Fmst-quotefile.git import from old scsys main git-svn-id: https://jules.scsys.co.uk/repository/shadowcat-code/scratchpad/matthewt/sig/lib@1 8a6f57db-631f-0410-b083-dc7c4259d016 --- fce65a03059856215d81194719e084737c4c6fbe diff --git a/asr b/asr new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9e1d3c2 --- /dev/null +++ b/asr @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +Bring me my etherkiller; Oh clouds unfold! / Bring me the magic smoke of desire +I shall not cease from mental fight / Nor shall my LART rest in my hand +Till we have buried the bodies / Of all the lusers in all this land + -- rpg, ASR [ My homepage is http://www.trout.me.uk ] diff --git a/pdp.fragments b/pdp.fragments new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ad1ed91 --- /dev/null +++ b/pdp.fragments @@ -0,0 +1,50 @@ +BBBF Branch on Bit Bucket Full +BBW Branch Both Ways +BEW Branch Either Way +BH Branch and Hang +BMR Branch Multiple Registers +BOB Branch On Bug +BPO Branch on Power Off +BR Branch Randomly +BST Backspace and Stretch Tape +CDS Condense and Destroy System +CHRD Crash Head on Random Disk +CLBR Clobber Register +CLBRI Clobber Register Immediately +CM Circulate Memory +CMFRM Come From -- essential for truly structured programming +CPPR Crumple Printer Paper and Rip +CRN Convert to Roman Numerals +DC Divide and Conquer +DMPK Destroy Memory Protect Key +DO Divide and Overflow +EMPC Emulate Pocket Calculator +EPI Execute Programmer Immediately +EROS Erase Read Only Storage +EXCE Execute Customer Engineer +HCF Halt and Catch Fire +IBP Insert Bug and Proceed +INSQSW Insert into queue somewhere (for FINO queues [First in never out]) +JTBI Jam Tape and Beep Incessantly +MTE Mangle Tape and Eject +PBC Print and Break Chain +PDSK Punch Disk +PI Punch Invalid +POPI Punch Operator Immediately +PVLC Punch Variable Length Card +RASC Read And Shred Card +ROTCSB ROT13 checksum byte +RPM Read Programmers Mind +RSSC reduce speed, step carefully (for improved accuracy) +RTAB Rewind tape and break +RTFM erase system documentation +RWDSK rewind disk +RWOC Read Writing On Card +SCRBL scribble to disk - faster than a write +SLC Search for Lost Chord +SPSW Scramble Program Status Word +SRSD Seek Record and Scar Disk +STROM Store in Read Only Memory +TDB Transfer and Drop Bit +VVV I came, I saw, I conquered +WBT Water Binary Tree diff --git a/printer.fragments b/printer.fragments new file mode 100644 index 0000000..89c23af --- /dev/null +++ b/printer.fragments @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +PORN TRAY EMPTY +THE FAX MACHINE IS A SLUT +PC LOAD LETTERBOMB diff --git a/qtmp b/qtmp new file mode 100644 index 0000000..cf9c0e6 --- /dev/null +++ b/qtmp @@ -0,0 +1,49 @@ +<10:27, 135:26, Mst>>Erik> +Epitaph says: heh +Epitaph says: this is a pain to work on ;) +which "this" ? +You ask: which "this" ? +<10:45, 135:45, Mst>>Erik> +Epitaph says: this 1650 which doesn't have a name yet +heh, fair enough +You say: heh, fair enough +<10:45, 135:45, Mst>>Erik> +: realEpitaph says: it being at the top of the rack, which means you an stand under it +ah, arse +You say: ah, arse +<10:46, 135:45, Mst>>Erik> +Epitaph says: next job. Find some spare ports where I can plug this bloody thing into the network... +Epitaph says: brb +hehehe +You say: hehehe +<10:53, 135:53, Mst>>Erik> +Epitaph says: Here in Russia, all cables 2 metres +Epitaph says: you want different length, you find old Tsarist cable or you make your own +awesome +You say: awesome +<11:37, 136:37, Mst>>Erik> +In Soviet Russia The Cable Crimps You +You say: In Soviet Russia The Cable Crimps You +<11:37, 136:37, Mst>>Erik> +Epitaph says: otherwise translated, CLEO don't seem to realise that sometimes, equipment is more than 2 metres away from where it needs to connect to +this surpriEpitaph says: we have approx. 30 000 2m cables, and a few 1m and 1/2m. Nothing else +ses me not at all +You say: this surprises me not at all +<11:39, 136:38, Mst>>Erik> +Erik giggles +aaagh, this data I've been giving is fucking useless :( +You say: aaagh, this data I've been giving is fucking useless :( +<11:41, 136:41, Mst>>Erik> +Erik says: One size fits all comrade, you should know this. +Epitaph says: is little difficult when front to back of the rack is nigh on 1 1/2m +Erik says: All cables are 2m, all engineers are interchangeable +Erik says: It is the order of things +all programs expand until they can read mail +You say: all programs expand until they can read mail +<11:43, 136:43, Mst>>Erik> +Epitaph found old Tsarist cable +Erik says: Don't be letting any of your communist comrades know that you are using old Tsarist cable... +Erik wonders if the Forde secret police stalk the machine room and computer centre looking for non-conformists +Epitaph says: colour code in server rack 3: blue: happens to be 2m away from where it needs to go to. Orange: installed at the time we had no cable and was made up. Grey or green: stolen university cable since we had none of approriate length and the stuff they ripped out of the mirror service was lying around +Erik asks: Is joy with standard, many to choose from, da? +Epitaph says: da diff --git a/quotefile b/quotefile new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b32c6a2 --- /dev/null +++ b/quotefile @@ -0,0 +1,774 @@ +"Shit is necessary in today's cut-throat business society. Without shit, there +would be no relief for frustrated, coprophile businessmen." + - Dany responding to somebody saying "ARUUUUUGH I HATE SHIT!" +% +"It doesn't matter what your IQ is if you only use one point at a time" + - arachne to a luser in #uk_goffs +% +Bring me my etherkiller; Oh clouds unfold! / Bring me the magic smoke of desire +I shall not cease from mental fight / Nor shall my LART rest in my hand +Till we have buried the bodies / Of all the lusers in all this land + - rpg in ASR +% +I'll have to try and get an item written into the DR plan specifying a +run to Krispy Kreme for sysadmin fuel, since it'd no doubt be a long +night ahead. + - adb in ASR +% +Plausible Deniability - a wonderful productivity tool. + - Kellogs in ASR +% +``Here, sanity ... niiiiiice sanity, come to daddy ... okay, that's a +good sanity ... {*THWONK!*} _Got_ the bastard.'' + - adb in ASR +% +"[The crap lusers install on windows slows it down, but] it's generally the +lousy, third party, how-cheap-can-we-make-this-commodity-product drivers that +fuck it up the arse with a badger." + - hythloday in #uk_goffs +% +"She bored me rigid - but not often enough" + - my father, on why he divorced his first wife +% +"You're trying to trick me into being intelligent. It won't work." + - dpm in asr, in reply to me trying to convince him to 'use strict;' +% +How to spot if a luser is lying to you: Their lips move +When to believe a luser: Never +How to spot fucked-up software: Open eyes, focus on software + - Dan Holdsworth in asr (paraphrased) +% +s/all-the-fucking-way'round/around until his truck's ass-end lead his +truck, much as his ass was doing all the driving from the inside./ + - Randy the Random improving on Gibson Hand in asr +% +"Stop your foul whining, you filthy piece of distended rectum" + - Arnold J Rimmer, to himself +% +"MS ERP products are almost certainly a good replacement for PeopleSoft given +the main strength of both seems to be serving 500 errors" + - (paraphrased from slashdot) +% +ATC: Airliner 123, turn right 20 degrees for noise abatement. +A123: Noise abatement? We are at FL310. +ATC: Do you know how much noise it makes when two 737s collide? +A123: Airliner 123 is turning right 20 degrees. +% +Do *not* go without sleep for this long: + uee'hee/7'm'']] + ww + ki'm going to finish this and then go sle +% +"Looting Before Wenching". One should, at all times, keep one's +priorities in order. First, profit. Once profit is taken care of, +proceed to recreation (or, indeed, procreation). + - Ingvar, in ASR +% +Sigmonster is away. please leave cookies after the beep. *BEEP* +% +"I get along really well with people, I just choose not to a whole lot of +the time." + - Snoof, in #uk_goffs +% +"You could pop up a box that said 'Click here to be hit over the head with a +salmon' with an 'Ok' button and at least half of the people that it was +presented to would quickly click on 'Ok'." + - David Gersic, in ASR +% +"What, you don't have an auto-aiming mangonel set up at the far end of the +office? ... *WHOOSH* ... *WHAP!*" + - geminii, automating salmon-to-luser-skull delivery in ASR +% +"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder" (correcting transcription +"The penis mightier than the sword" errors in common quotes +"I came, I saw, she conquered" since 1983) +% +>When life gives you lemons... +Make lemonade and find someone that life gave vodka? + - Jim Richardson and Randy the Random in ASR +% +I'm not a goth, I just can't afford the colour license + +*this sig for rent* +% +The Internet is totally out of control, impossible to map accurately, and +being used far beyond its original intentions. So far, so good. + - Dr. Dobb's Journal, May 1993 +% +Perl's a language. She starts up/when she serves the pages in the server +Perl's a language, she serves pages/for the lost and the lonely +her job is entertaining geeks/serving warez and sex techniques/in the server + - epitaph<|>lucretia +% +Logan Shaw's Zen of ASR Computing: free yourself of the desire to have +computers work properly for this is the root of all suffering. +% +"Once one has achieved full endarkenment, one is happy to have an entirely + nonfunctional computer" - Steve VanDevender, ASR +% +"Marketing are the people who hold the customers down while Sales screws them" + - Phil Launchbury, ASR +% +"I once had a company give me a pager without any further instructions. +It was kept on my desk, since that would ensure that it'd be with me +9-5 weekdays." + - Peter Corlett, ASR +% +template<>basic_constreambuf::char_type * (*const basic_constreambuf +::copy_func)(char_type *, char_type const *, size_t len)=reinterpret_cast +::char_type *(* const)(char_type *, char_type const *, +size_t)>(memcpy); // why C++ers don't golf +% +Two strings walk into a bar. +The first string says "Hello, I'd like a rum and cokerhe795542kjn.,.43>>[][]?4" +The second string says "Excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated" + (paraphrased from bash.org quote 469064) +% +"I love the word 'ginormous'. I've only heard it spoken before. :) +'gino' should be the keyword for declaring 64-bit integers in C." + - ofer nave on the cdbi-talk mailing list +% +"Did I mention that my nose is on fire, and I have fifteen wild badgers +living in my trousers?" + - Marcus Cole, Babylon 5 +% +"Everybody knows that the dice are loaded. Everybody rolls with their +fingers crossed. Everybody knows the war is over. Everybody knows the +good guys lost." + - Leonard Cohen +% +Brick text, what a bitch +Adhere to the haiku spec +While the clock mocks me + - AJS, ASR +% +"I want to give Tony Blair a caramel enema" + - Fox, #uk_goffs +% +< chazter> batmop, hug + * batmop SMASHES chazter's FUCKING FACE IN WITH A BRICK! + - why batmop isn't as cuddly as he looks, #uk_goffs +% +< creighton> why do I find brick love disturbing? +< arachne> because you are an uneducated heathen who doesn't understand +< little_black_cat> a brick to the poon is a bit harsh for a newbie though +< arachne> it's the best way to learn +% +"I have finally persuaded Candy that I actually DON'T need her to come round +here and 'encourage' me to work - mostly by screaming 'if you dont fuck off +right now I'll stab you with this awl'" + - Ems, irc.fyrestorm.co.uk #chat +% +"... the Adobe Reader can suck the rind off of a watermelon at fifty meters." + - solios commenting on jwz's LJ +% +"irc.perl.org#catalyst: home of the apocalyptic two wheeled scooter riders!" + - sri wields /topic once again +% +/* 1 if by land, 2 if by sea, 0 if out of memory. not allowed to barf. */ +% +"You can't beat the video camera hooked up to a lava lamp as a proper source +of random numbers ... in fact, I'm fairly sure I have a program for my Indy +intended to do that somewhere" + - paraphrased from lis0r in #uk_goffs +% +"Using Windows in place of a real operating system is like bringing a +knife out to a tactical nuclear exchange." - James Riden in ASR +"s/knife/fish/ but otherwise, yeah." - Jim's reply +% +"Overflow on datatype 'unsigned long' while indexing 'Windows Shit List'" + - Jim in ASR +"So *that's* what the 64-bit version is for!" + - James Riden's reply +% +'My attempts at saving seem to be punctuated with elementary errors along the +lines of, "Let's buy this P4" or "Let's buy this car, it's black"...' + - Timberwolf in #uk_goffs +% +"Might I suggest playing a little game? It's called 'Michigan Roulette', and +you take a live grenade, shove it up your ass, pull the pin, and then make +bets as to how few people will miss you when you become a fine red mist." + - sclerotic_rings venting on LJ +% +"If anyone's looking for AJR, he's up there on the hilltop, wearing +copper armour in a thunderstorm, screaming 'All MTAs Suck!'" - AdB +"They told me it would function as a Faraday cage." - AJR +% +"Do me a favour? Find out who the lead devs on postgres are. Find out where +they live. +Then buy me a shotgun, some shell casings, and a LOT of rock salt." + - Snoof venting on IRC +% +"Too many programmers code error messages as if their pay will be +retroactively docked every time a user figures out what the problem is." + - dpm on ASR +% +I AM LIST POPPER. IF SEEING ME, CALL IT SPORT +% +"HTTP really means, 'hentai text transfer protocol'" + - Graham Reed in asr +% +"Drugs may go in and out of fashion but they rarely go out of use." + - villagechick on LJ +% +"Bleach in the gene pool. It's the only way." + - paraphrased from Will Hawkins +% +There are two infinite entities : the universe and human folly. +I'm not yet sure about the universe. + - Albert Einstein +% +"The United States of America is the only empire in history to have gone from +Barbarism directly to Decadence, without any intervening period of +Civilisation." (origin unknown) +% +"People used to come in with green-spiked hair and body piercings and say +'Where's my server?' and throw money at us." + - Scott McNealy on the .com boom +% +"Epitaph kicks off the geckos and the thermophilae and fettles the AC again... +There is no way this is 22 degrees centigrade... (for additional +entertainment, it's the same system we use in the machine room)" + - epitaph<|>lucretia +% +"Welcome to the World Wide Web - delivering unexpected penis since 1993!" + - http://www.ghastlycomic.com/d/20050522.html +% +"We live in the interface between radioactive molten rock and hard +vacuum and we worry about safety." -- Chris Hunt +% +<@mst> perl6 and lisp, on the same bytecode engine ... heaven :) +<@sri> you're soo insane dude... + - sri, trying once again to convince me I'm the evil one on #catalyst +% +"The business guys who did the most for Google were the ones who obligingly +flew Altavista into a hillside just as Google was getting started" + - Paul Graham in http://www.paulgraham.com/bronze.html +% +"I just realized yesterday that my friendly neighborhood Planned Parenthood +is across the street from the Church of the Immaculate Conception." + - vivalavivi getting metaquoted on LJ +% +"I find the best attitude is to treat programming like demon summoning: the +target is at least as smart as you, must obey the letter of your commands, +and hates you. Code accordingly." + - dstorrs on irc.perl.org#catalyst +% +<@draven> the army's secret service is close to this lake too +<@draven> there was a sign that said 'no pictures' +<@draven> so I took a picture of it. + - draven, tempting fate on #catalyst +% +16:07 <@mst> did I just kill the right one? (sysadmin blues on #chat) +16:07 <@Snoof> holy god shit wtf. +16:07 <@Snoof> no! +16:07 <@Snoof> oh wait yes +16:08 <@Snoof> ok i'm going to shut up a moment. +% +16:50 <@draven> guess I'd better get outta here. +16:50 <@gabb> Run Forrest, run! +16:50 * draven steps on gabbs toe on the way out + - draven and gabb being silly on #catalyst +% +"How do you visualise a 17-dimensional space?" +"Oh, that's easy. I just visualise an n-dimensional space and let n=17." + - James Riden, re-treading an old maths joke on ASR +% +I must go to work. (wax_jism on LJ) +I'd rather spork myself +but I have no spork. +So I must go to work. +% +"back in my day we had to walk to the trolls through fourteen feet of snow! +and then eat them with our bare hands! we weren't even allowed to use our +mouths!" - restriction going yorkshire on LJ +% +"...whilst shutting down windows: Desktop: There is not enough memory to run +this program. Shut down one or more running programs..." + - epitaph@lucretia +% +"Drugs. Drugs are the solution to this problem, but I have none except asprin +produced in Czechoslovakia in 1968 and I have firm rule about self-medicating +with pills that outlived their country of origin." - doqz on LJ +% + SWEARING + VIOLENT SHOUTY SWEARING + i'm going to kill things. + (Snoof meets sql-ledger) +% +"CORBA being the distributed computing equivalent of a battleship anchor" + - epitaph@lucretia +% +{ package SubRef; sub AUTOLOAD { our $AUTOLOAD; my $meth = $AUTOLOAD; +$meth =~ s/.*:://; shift->($meth, @_); } }; my $x = bless(sub { print +join(' ',@_[0,2..$#_])."\n"; }, 'SubRef'); $x->Just(qw/Another Perl Hacker/); +% +Snoof: why does this installation instruction contain gabbling about a .exe? +mst: Prob. cos it runs on Windaz and they've made the binary .exe everywhere +Snoof: you're buying me a gun for our six month anniversary next month, right? +% +> I have very little knowledge of goats and I _really_ wish people would (Jim) +> start to trust me on this. +We trust your knowledge of goats. We also trust you *on* goats. We (Satya) +don't trust you *with* goats. +% +"PUT THE GOAT QUOTE DOWN AND STEP AWAY FROM YOUR .SIG FILE, SIR!" + - Jim reacts badly to my quotefiling his sexual pervsions in a.s.r +% + yeah, actually, that's a good idea + well i was going to do it whether you said yes or no... + but i thought you might like the illusion of choice. + - Snoof demonstrates why I <3 my SWMBO +% +"Sometimes a penis is _just_ a penis." + - Jim, in a.s.r +% +< dennyd> I had one blue ear for a few days once +< dennyd> that was annoying +< dennyd> much more care applying the vaseline after that +% +<@draven> boogiewoogiewoogiewoogie +<@mst> BoiNg wOinG +<@sri> limbo! + - #catalyst. don't ask. +% +I like these calm metal moments before the storm. +It reminds me of Beethoven. +% +Epitaph makes Yet Another Unplanned Change to the network architecture +Mst says: wait? you have planned changes? I don't remember mention of any +Epitaph says: yes, but we never have time to implement them +% +"Asylum seekers have died in such circumstances. We chose to meet up and +discuss the future of the internet." + - Kieren McCarthy on an ICANN meeting +% +"'minor human errors' - Do they really exist? I've only seen the big ones that +really screw things up." + - Deadsetter on irc.scsys.co.uk +% + maybe you should just shave him completely. i think this time of + year's a bit hot for sheep anyway. + eeerrr. + wrong window. +% +"If, on the other hand, you are suggesting that we replace our current +Prime Minister with a houseplant, then I think it is an eminently +sensible idea, and the houseplant will get my vote at the next election." + - Rayner, in a.s.r +% +<@draven> "My mother was a tailor, she sewed my new blue jeans. My father + was a warlock, down in New Orleans." +<@draven> House of the WOW +% +"Volvos are hand-carved from lumps of exotic matter by cunning Swedes and +cannot be destroyed by conventional weapons." + - JoeB, in a.s.r +% +'... if I really need more than 160 characters, my phone has this bizarre +secondary function whereby you can put someone's number in, hold the phone +to your head, and in some way "talk" to them.' + - jimbo, in #chat +% +You ask MikeA an inane question. +MikeA hits you with cluebat. +You die. +Dump file (y/n)? +% +You ask MikeA an inane question. +MikeA hits you with 3000 volts across the forehead. +You die. +Dump file (y/n)? +% +You ask MikeA an inane question. +MikeA hits you with brick. +You die. +Dump file (y/n)? +% +You ask MikeA an inane question. +MikeA hits you with canoe paddle. +You die. +Dump file (y/n)? +% +You ask MikeA an inane question. +MikeA hits you with howitzer. +You die. +Dump file (y/n)? +% +You ask MikeA an inane question. +MikeA hits you with tile from raised floor. +You die. +Dump file (y/n)? +% +You ask MikeA an inane question. +MikeA hits you with 2x4. +You die. +Dump file (y/n)? +% +You ask MikeA an inane question. +MikeA hits you with Imperial Assload of hungry ferrets. +You die. +Dump file (y/n)? +% +You ask MikeA an inane question. +MikeA hits you with startling news. +You die. +Dump file (y/n)? +% +You ask MikeA an inane question. +MikeA hits you with Orbital Anvil Delivery System. +You die. +Dump file (y/n)? +% +"I'd like to point out that I _did_ say everything I said, and my only regret +is that I couldn't use a larger font." + - Jim, in a thread of people disclaiming quote attribution in a.s.r +% +"Unfortunately the inventors of the Selenium high-voltage +rectifier-sticks common in early-1960s TV sets have prior claim +to the Smell-Emitting Diode." + - Tanuki, in a.s.r +% +12:48 < Purge> whats mod_apreq and do i need it? +12:50 <@draven> apache request handling +12:50 <@draven> it will make things faster, and more painful +12:50 <@draven> kinda like amphetamine. +% +A closed mouth gathers no foot. +% +"Actually, windows was probably sulking anyway - I've been running the laptop +using sleep on lid close for three weeks so it hasn't been allowed to crash +for a while" + - mdk, on irc.scsys.co.uk +% +"I only had BIND working for a while, but then noticed that getting powerful +electric anal discharges was funnier (and felt better)" + - ank, on irc.perl.org +% +< Ems> person accusing me of pony abuse says "ive had horses 30 years, + ive been trampled on, squished, scraped, had bones broken etc + etc'... yeah, so your methods are working REALLY well huh! +% + both qmail and sendmail are involved, so really, bending reality + wouldn't surprise me overmuch ... + Or maybe it's cthulhu's influence... + I/O fthagn! +% +* sri remembers autrijus crying for help on irc after he locked himself + in a room at Leopold Toetsch's house :) +% +> A tangled cable is a happy cable. +In that case some of mine are having way too much fun. They're into +bondage for one thing. I think the switch is the sub. + - RBW and Jim in a.s.r +% +I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity +for everyone, but they've always worked for me. + -- Hunter S. Thompson +% +Feudalism: It's your Count that Votes. +Democracy: It's your Vote that Counts. +Communism: Your Votes don't Count. +Capitalism: The Lowest Bidder Counts your Votes. +% +> I see this going somewhere with a Bene Gesserit Dentist and a gum jabber... +... and turning into a weird-ass mashup of Little Shop and Dune? + "Son, be a Mentat / You have a talent for using your brain!" + - prwade and Steve V in a.s.r +% +"Red Hat are a fine vendor of honeypots, but I'm not quite sure why people +use it as an operating system." + - pndc in irc.scsys.co.uk#chat +% +"I come from a generation where the name Dick Van Dyke doesn't immediately +make you think of a website" + - Nick Roberts, in the Yorkshire House +% +<@mst> mooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO +<@dngor> Hello, sir. I'm with Homeland Security. We noticed your cow was + ticking, so we took it out back and detonated it. Here is your watch. +% +> The basic, bare bones pedal has nothing to keep the foot on the pedal. +... except for 100kg of BOFH, in my case. It appears to be enough. + - Peter Corlett replying to Stuart Lamble in a.s.r +% +>> Look up Flying Spaghetti Monster. +>May all your networks be touched by His Noodly Appendage. +Ramen. + - Pete Stephenson, Satya, and Jasper Janssen in a.s.r +% +1950: Communist 1960: Peacenik 1970: Socialist +1980: Welfare Cheat 1990: Paedophile 2000: Terrorist +They're all out to get you. Who do you want to demonize today? + - Brian Kantor in a.s.r +% + Hey, the world ain't 10,000 years old? :( + Only if you believe the mice had to patch and reboot it. + the world actually reboots very quickly now, because it has journaling + See, you took my Douglas Adams joke, and you got Linux all over it. +% +Not _everything_ I do is obscene. +But I'm working on that. + - greed in a.s.r +% +<@perigrin> You live in a country where the largest natural disaster is the + burger at the pub. :) +* perigrin pines for .uk +% +< bda> It's not the Canadians' fault that their best link is a couple of + moose with tin cans and a wire... +% +>> Where can I buy a complete set of metric wenches? (MikeA) +>It depends. What will you use as a measuring stick? (Shmuel Metz) +My own personal dipstick, had it forever. (Kevin Goebel) +% +"What happens nine months later is that the process daemonizes, and +detaches from its controlling terminal. Then it execs." + - Dave Brown on POSIX reproduction in a.s.r +% +As long as you're in wheel, you're never unarmed. + - Kurt von Finck in a.s.r +% +"SFX GEEK 2: [We] got a freakishly tall Dutchman to wave [Keanu Reeves] around +on a stick while we shot at him. This got boring after a while, but the +shrieks of pain did tend to relieve the boredom." +% +"Does a non-Euclidean lubricant make Kleinalingus more enjoyable?" + - Steve VanDevender in a.s.r +% +"When you have a trebuchet, every bear's a potential drop bear." + - Chris Hacking in a.s.r +% +< joel> it was like working in an industrial club in a freezer +< joel> except without the munted cyberkids. + - joel on exodus @ park royal, on irc.scsys.co.uk#chat +% +<@ningu> I would say the evolution of computers in the last 35 years is a + fairly logical evolution from PDP to PGP to PHP +<@ningu> PPP came much earlier, it was envisioned first by beethoven +<@ningu> in his fifth symphony which began: pppd +% +Were I not taken, and she not taken, and if she were keen on the kind of +hallucinogen that makes me look fit, I'd *totally* have her in the palm of +my hand. or something. + - DeathBoy, making no sense at all in #uk_goffs +% +21:12 the only difference was the virgin of apache +21:12 1.3.33? +21:12 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA +21:13 bollocks. +% +08:56 <@gellyfish> eek! windmill had forgotten what it was called +08:57 <@osfameron> windmills! +08:57 -!- osfameron is now known as DonOsfamerote +08:58 <@DonOsfamerote> charge! +% +-!- mode/#uk_goffs [+b *!*@213.249.157.68] by Samoth +-!- Chavet [jirc@213.249.157.68] has quit [Local kill by Samoth (Lame)] +-!- chavette [jirc@213.249.157.68] has quit [Local kill by Samoth (Also lame)] +% +# mysql is stupid and drops connections. Tell it to stalk the database. never +# let it out of its sight. Never. + - chisel on irc.perl.org#catalyst +% +< epitaph_> afaics the pope selection process is something like a diesel + engine: black smoke dead, white smoke OK +% +-!- chansen [~chansen@h106n2c1o1099.bredband.skanova.com] has quit [Quit: + sleep, sleep, yeah right. perhaps vermouth helps?] +% +<@drforr> WHEN WILL JESUS BRING THE PORK CHOPS? +<@dngor> Dude. He can't do that. He's Jewish. He'll go to hell. +% +<@quicksilver> and sometimes when someone in #cat is being really + clueless what you really want to type is + +% +Jan 15 10:53:44 sshd[11861]: Invalid user sex from 194.242.112.103 +% +<@dngor> So fucked. I just blew out /usr/bin and /usr/local/bin. +<@dngor> I had a script that switches between different versions of Perl. + It contained a bug. +<@dngor> I'll need to recover it from backup to find out what that was. +% +< ningu> The audio is glitchy, the framerate is low; the best version + came out a long time ago. The audio's been glitchy on everything + I've tried; with the hardware I've got it's not justified. +% +< Doc> it's a conditioned response. deny everything first, then think +<@Snoof> i agree, Doc, except for the last two words +% +"Sometimes all it takes to restore sanity is for theory to meet reality +head on..." + -- Mr. T., W9LBB +% +"The world would be a better place if all software croaked when anyone used +any kind of indentifier that wasn't [A-Za-z][A-Za-z0-9_]+" + -- blblack in magnet#dbix-class +% + * mst fires the 10-gauge +<@dngor> Quack quack quack! [RECEDES] +<@mst> your hairline is a duck? +<@dngor> And at this point also a cover. +% +< mooli> Other people use their bleepers to find their car, I just stand + around and wait for the clang of something falling off. +% +< joel> i just caught myself thinking "ooh, i know that tune" +< joel> and whistling along +< joel> it's the bloody hotel fax machine. +< joel> AAAARGHHHHH +% +< holoway> I was going to dig deeper into that bug over the weekend, but then + got hit by a drunk driver. silly drunk drivers. +% + * mugwump will hopefully be the owner of 2404:130:d00b::/48 soon ;) +% + Bathroom window wide + Rain on wind, South-easterly + Cold wet willy grief +% + * ubu ->lunch('turkey sandwich'); + * Nacho -> breakfast('http://victoria.openguides.org/Pluto%27s'); + * ct ->dada("Pig eye puppy hat. Blue."); +% + * castaway deploys sandwiches +< nigel> ALTER sandwich ADD FILLING mustard... +% +< jwang> although there are a lot of PHP developers out there, if you ask + for OO PHP developers, I think there may be less than OO Perl devs +<@phaylon> it's hard enough to find ones that can work without register_goblins +% +<@phaylon> people who use "MATCH" as column name in mysql should be shot + in two parts with a nailgun +% +Tiamo gets *very* drunk and then something crashes: 4 days +Anakata gets a really bad cold and noone is around: 7 days +The US and Swedish gov. forces the police to steal our servers: 3 days +(PirateBay downtime report) +% +< nothingmuch> aha +< nothingmuch> i see my vast army of doc minions have been hard at work +< nothingmuch> on other stuff +< nothingmuch> YOU'RE ALL FIRED +% +<@phaylon> damnit. I just wrote "my $font-weight =" in my css file +% +<+phaylon> well, I'm in hamburg and I want it more quietly :) +<+ningu_> that sounds mildly obscene +<+phaylon> is that a bad thing? :) +% +<@Nicholas> is there a STFU option for Firefox? +<@Nicholas> I object to my web browser making noises when I click on links +% +<@claco> programming without an f key is insane +<@claco> it works about one out of ever 10 hard presses... +<@claco> an no room or a big phat model M on the cophee table +<@claco> iph (1) {phoreach} +% +At work we've kind of renamed that command. When spoken it comes out +something like "arr-em-dash-arr-star-hands-off-keyboard-stop-and-think" :) + - Ben Buchanan commenting on http://www.veen.com/jeff/archives/000899.html +% +< joel> my second thought, after "do they have polar bears?" was "what + about broadband?" +% +< gbjk_home> When something like this becomes stable.. it's like have a + permanent bridge between cliffs made out of compliant + butterflies +% +Day changed to 07 Jul 2006 +< Penguin> ooh, it's 07/07/07 today +< Penguin> ernm. fuck. +* Penguin goes away to fix his clock +% +<@perigrin> echo '0.02 - It's different from 0.01' >> Changes.txt +% + * castaway pounces on mst + * Penguin pounces on castaway and flattens mst + * castaway tosses Penguin off +< Penguin> mm fish +% +<@dngor> You could also put it on the end and pop it off. +% +"So we had a bug in our session management stored procs... When anyone logged +out, it invalidated all sessions! We had ... where session_id = session_id +instead of where session_id = u_session_id. +"The thing is, in single user mode, you don't notice :)" +% +* dstorrs blows the Dread Manager's Whistle of Acrimonious Team Member + Separation, +5 +% +<@dstorrs> "May you live in interesting times, may powerful people notice + you, and may the phone company work diligently on your lines." +% +<@denny> "Yes, firefox is indeed greater than women. Can women block pop-ups + for you? No. Can Firefox show you naked women? Yes." +% + * kd searches to a sane file format to convert a ppt slide into +<@kd> /dev/null comes to mind +% +-!- voidengineer [i=manchine@71.93.6.193] has joined #foobarbaz +< voidengineer> hey +< voidengineer> I guess I need another test channel +-!- voidengineer [i=manchine@71.93.6.193] has left #foobarbaz [] +% +<@denny> hehe +<@denny> my two top matches on okcupid today are a couple + * denny messages them both :) +% + * jguenther saw Tool in Edmonton on Friday +< holoway> jguenther, I saw Tool last night in George, WA +<@waswas> holoway: I saw tool in my hands last night. What a coincidence. +% +<@darobin> Ugly is the key to Web 3.0 +<@baud_deck> haha +<@baud_deck> SPIKY CORNERS +% +<@mst> DONGS +< jshirley> WHERE IS MY AUTOMOBILE +<@mst> INSERTED IN YOUR HARGLUAHGLAUAHGLUAHA +< jshirley> IT MUST RUN ON BIODIESEL. +% +<@captainL> i'm not really into ponies, but it'd keep the gf happy. +% +< kane-xs> castaway: oh, if we have 2 index.tt files in 2 different + paths, that's a Developer Error +< kane-xs> ideally, a small gnome exits the screen and hits the developer +% + * denny wonders if anyone has started a VoIP company called IPfreely +% +<@romauld> I, of course, read that as worky*panty*worky... + * denny goes in search of pig + * helenic|workypaintyworky is not wearing panties +-!- denny is now known as denny|lard +% +<@Fox> poggs|work: my anus cannot wait much longer. +<@Fox> poggs|work: it puckers with anticipation. +<@poggs|work> Fox: I'm sure you can find a bollard. +% +< matgates> preg_replace? sounds like a sort of back street abortion clinic. +< Treenaks> matgates: no, then you wouldn't replace ;) +< blueNine> preg_match() is the new clear-blue test? +% + * DrHyde has been prescribed a diet of Aretha Franklin by his parish + priest in an attempt to stave off vampirism +% +>>then there's mechanically recovered chicken. (SteveD) +> alt.chickadmin.recovery.automatic? (Dave) +Quiet group, though. Everyone's afraid to try waving a sysadmin. (Ron Parker) +% +<@jrockway> mst: isn't it 5am your time right now? +<@mst> nah ... only 4:56 +< Penguin> it's 5:03 here +< Penguin> shit, ntp has died again +% +<@jrockway> I have to maintain a website written in VB now +<@jrockway> what the fuck +<@jrockway> it looks like If Some Condition That's Human Readable Oh Yeah + Then There's A Security Hole End +% +> ... [based on bonfire night we] should be celebrating Christmas by hunting +> down weirdoes and nailing them to bits of wood. +Gives a whole new meaning to "making a Christmas list", now, dunnit? + -- (pndc and MikeA in the SDM)