From: Peter Rabbitson <ribasushi@cpan.org>
Date: Wed, 15 Jun 2016 12:30:13 +0000 (+0200)
Subject: (travis) Port all travis changes since 0.08270
X-Git-Tag: v0.08271~1
X-Git-Url: http://git.shadowcat.co.uk/gitweb/gitweb.cgi?a=commitdiff_plain;h=83c94794023c57cb524e10892c230a335307f4aa;p=dbsrgits%2FDBIx-Class.git

(travis) Port all travis changes since 0.08270
---

diff --git a/.travis.yml b/.travis.yml
index ed2c04e..48f0a2d 100644
--- a/.travis.yml
+++ b/.travis.yml
@@ -6,35 +6,14 @@
 #
 # * Minimum perl officially supported by DBIC is 5.8.3. This *includes* the
 # basic depchain. On failure either attempt to fix it or bring it to the
-# attention of ribasushi. *DO NOT* disable 5.8 testing - it is here for a
-# reason
-#
-# * The matrix is built from two main modes - CLEANTEST = [true|false].
-# - In the first case we test with minimal deps available, and skip everything
-#   listed in DBIC::OptDesps. The modules are installed with classic CPAN
-#   invocations and are *fully tested*. In other words we simulate what would
-#   happen if a user tried to install on a just-compiled virgin perl
-# - Without CLEANTEST we bring the armada of RDBMS and install the maximum
-#   possible set of deps *without testing them*. This ensures we stay within
-#   a reasonable build-time and still run as many of our tests as possible
-#
-# * The perl builds and the DBIC tests run under NUMTHREADS number of threads.
-# The testing of dependencies under CLEANTEST runs single-threaded, at least
-# until we fix our entire dep-chain to safely pass under -j
-#
-# * The way .travis.yml is fed to the command controller is idiotic - it
-# makes using multiline `bash -c` statements impossible. Therefore to
-# aid readability (our travis logic is rather complex), the bulk of
-# functionality is moved to scripts. More about the problem (and the
-# WONTFIX "explanation") here: https://github.com/travis-ci/travis-ci/issues/497
+# attention of the maintainer. *DO NOT* disable 5.8 testing - it is here for
+# a very good reason
 #
+# the entire run times out after 50 minutes, or after 5 minutes without
+# console output
 
 #
 # Smoke all branches except for blocked* and wip/*
-#
-# Additionally master does not smoke with bleadperl
-# ( implemented in maint/travis-ci_scripts/10_before_install.bash )
-#
 branches:
   except:
     - /^wip\//
@@ -52,212 +31,355 @@ notifications:
 
   email:
     recipients:
-      - ribasushi@cpan.org
-      # Temporary - if it proves to be too noisy, we'll shut it off
-      #- dbix-class-devel@lists.scsys.co.uk
+      - CPAN-CI@leporine.io
     on_success: change
     on_failure: always
 
-# FIXME - This stuff is not yet available for free OSS accounts, sadpanda
-# First paragrah on http://about.travis-ci.org/docs/user/caching/
-#cache:
-#  apt: true
-#  directories:
-#    - /var/cache/apt/archives
+addons:
+  apt:
+    packages:
+      - libapp-nopaste-perl
+      - net-tools
 
+# This is probably a net-loss for setup etc - a bare 'C' will likely fare much better
 language: perl
 
-perl:
-  - "5.18"
+# Currently not trying osx: https://github.com/travis-ci/travis-ci/issues/2314
+os: linux
 
-env:
-  - CLEANTEST=false
-  - CLEANTEST=true
+# The defaults run under the more rapid container infra. The hardware is
+# actually *much* slower, but the jobs start much faster, for more info see
+# https://docs.travis-ci.com/user/ci-environment/#Virtualization-environments
+# Combined with 'fast_finish' this will result in an "uh-oh" email as early
+# as possible
+dist: precise
+sudo: false
+env: CLEANTEST=true
+
+perl:
+  - "5.8"
+  - "5.10"
+  - "5.22-extras"
 
 matrix:
+  fast_finish: true
+
   include:
-    # this particular perl is quite widespread
-    - perl: 5.8.8_thr_mb
+
+    # Same as the "master matrix" above, frozen under older dist/infrastructure
+    # In genereal it is strongly recommended to keep things on the older
+    # version indefinitely - there is little value in-depth smoking on
+    # more recent software stacks
+    - perl: "5.8"
+      sudo: required
+      dist: precise
       env:
-        - CLEANTEST=true
-        - BREWOPTS="-Duseithreads -Dusemorebits"
-        - BREWVER=5.8.8
+        - CLEANTEST=false
 
-    # so is this one (test a sane CPAN.pm)
-    - perl: 5.12.4_thr_mb
+    - perl: "5.10"
+      sudo: required
+      dist: precise
       env:
-        - CLEANTEST=true
-        - BREWOPTS="-Duseithreads -Dusemorebits"
-        - BREWVER=5.12.4
+        - CLEANTEST=false
 
-    # this is the perl suse ships
-    - perl: 5.10.0_thr_dbg
+    - perl: "5.22-extras"
+      sudo: required
+      dist: precise
       env:
-        - CLEANTEST=true
-        - BREWOPTS="-DDEBUGGING -Duseithreads"
-        - BREWVER=5.10.0
+        - CLEANTEST=false
 
-    # CLEANTEST of minimum supported
-    - perl: 5.8.3_nt_mb
+    # CLEANTEST of minimum supported with non-tracing poisoning, single thread (hence the sudo)
+    - perl: "5.8.3_nt_mb"
+      sudo: required
+      dist: precise
       env:
+        - VCPU_USE=1
         - CLEANTEST=true
+        - POISON_ENV=true
+        - DBIC_TRACE_PROFILE=console_monochrome
+        - BREWVER=5.8.3
         - BREWOPTS="-Dusemorebits"
+
+    # Full Test of minimum supported without threads with plain poisoned trace
+    - perl: "5.8.3_nt"
+      sudo: required
+      dist: precise
+      # run these under legacy - great simulation of low memory env
+      group: legacy
+      env:
+        - CLEANTEST=false
+        - POISON_ENV=true
+        - DBIC_TRACE=1
         - BREWVER=5.8.3
 
-    # Full Test of minimum supported with threads
-    - perl: 5.8.5_thr
+    # Full Test of minimum supported with threads with non-tracing poisoning
+    - perl: "5.8.5_thr"
+      sudo: required
+      dist: precise
+      # run these under legacy - great simulation of low memory env
+      group: legacy
       env:
         - CLEANTEST=false
-        - BREWOPTS="-Duseithreads"
+        - POISON_ENV=true
+        - DBIC_TRACE_PROFILE=console
         - BREWVER=5.8.5
+        - BREWOPTS="-Duseithreads"
+
+    # CLEANTEST of solaris-like perl with non-tracing poisoning
+    - perl: "5.8.4_nt"
+      sudo: false
+      dist: precise
+      env:
+        - CLEANTEST=true
+        - POISON_ENV=true
         - DBIC_TRACE_PROFILE=console
+        - BREWVER=5.8.4
 
-    # Full Test of minimum supported without threads
-    - perl: 5.8.3_nt
+    # Full test: this particular perl is quite widespread, single thread
+    - perl: "5.8.8_thr"
+      sudo: required
+      dist: precise
+      group: legacy
       env:
+        - VCPU_USE=1
         - CLEANTEST=false
-        - BREWOPTS=""
-        - BREWVER=5.8.3
-        - DBIC_TRACE_PROFILE=console_monochrome
-
-    ###
-    # some permutations of tracing and envvar poisoning
+        - BREWVER=5.8.8
+        - BREWOPTS="-Duseithreads"
 
-    - perl: 5.16.2_thr_mb
+    # CLEANTEST: this is the perl suse ships, with env poisoning
+    - perl: "5.10.0_thr_dbg"
+      sudo: false
+      dist: precise
       env:
-        - CLEANTEST=false
+        - CLEANTEST=true
         - POISON_ENV=true
-        - DBIC_TRACE=1
-        - DBIC_MULTICREATE_DEBUG=0
-        - BREWOPTS="-Duseithreads -Dusemorebits"
-        - BREWVER=5.16.2
+        - BREWVER=5.10.0
+        - BREWOPTS="-DDEBUGGING -Duseithreads"
 
-    - perl: 5.18
+    # CLEANTEST: this one is in a number of debian-based LTS (test a sane CPAN.pm, single thread)
+    - perl: "5.14.2_thr_mb"
+      sudo: required
+      dist: precise
       env:
-        - CLEANTEST=false
-        - POISON_ENV=true
-        - DBIC_TRACE_PROFILE=console
+        - VCPU_USE=1
+        - CLEANTEST=true
+        - BREWVER=5.14.2
+        - BREWOPTS="-Duseithreads -Dusemorebits"
 
-    - perl: 5.8
+    ###
+    # some permutations of tracing and envvar poisoning
+
+    - perl: "5.12.3_thr"
+      sudo: false
+      dist: precise
       env:
         - CLEANTEST=true
         - POISON_ENV=true
         - DBIC_TRACE=1
+        - DBIC_MULTICREATE_DEBUG=1
+        - DBIC_STORAGE_RETRY_DEBUG=1
         - DBIC_TRACE_PROFILE=console
+        - BREWVER=5.12.3
+        - BREWOPTS="-Duseithreads"
 
-    - perl: 5.18
+    - perl: "5.16.3_thr_mb"
+      sudo: required
+      dist: precise
+      env:
+        - CLEANTEST=false
+        - DBIC_TRACE=1
+        - DBICTEST_VERSION_WARNS_INDISCRIMINATELY=1
+        - BREWVER=5.16.3
+        - BREWOPTS="-Duseithreads -Dusemorebits"
+
+    - perl: "5.18-extras"
+      sudo: required
+      # explicit new infra spec preparing for a future forced upgrade
+      dist: trusty
       env:
         - CLEANTEST=false
         - POISON_ENV=true
         - DBIC_TRACE=1
         - DBIC_TRACE_PROFILE=console_monochrome
-        - DBIC_MULTICREATE_DEBUG=0
+        - DBICTEST_VIA_REPLICATED=0
+        - DBICTEST_VERSION_WARNS_INDISCRIMINATELY=1
 
     ###
     # Start of the allow_failures block
 
-    # old threaded with blead CPAN
-    - perl: devcpan_5.8.7_thr
+    # threaded oldest possible with blead CPAN
+    - perl: "devcpan_5.8.1_thr_mb"
+      sudo: false
+      dist: precise
       env:
         - CLEANTEST=true
-        - BREWOPTS="-Duseithreads"
-        - BREWVER=5.8.7
         - DEVREL_DEPS=true
+        - BREWVER=5.8.1
+        - BREWOPTS="-Duseithreads -Dusemorebits"
 
-    # 5.10.0 threaded with blead CPAN
-    - perl: devcpan_5.10.0_thr_mb
+    # oldest possible with blead CPAN with poisoning and plain trace
+    - perl: "devcpan_5.8.1"
+      sudo: false
+      dist: precise
       env:
         - CLEANTEST=true
-        - BREWOPTS="-Duseithreads -Dusemorebits"
-        - BREWVER=5.10.0
         - DEVREL_DEPS=true
+        - POISON_ENV=true
+        - DBIC_TRACE=1
+        - DBICTEST_VERSION_WARNS_INDISCRIMINATELY=1
+        - BREWVER=5.8.1
+
+    # 5.8.3 with blead CPAN
+    - perl: "devcpan_5.8.3_mb"
+      sudo: required
+      # explicit new infra spec preparing for a future forced upgrade
+      dist: trusty
+      env:
+        - CLEANTEST=false
+        - DEVREL_DEPS=true
+        - BREWVER=5.8.3
+        - BREWOPTS="-Dusemorebits"
 
-    # 5.12.2 with blead CPAN
-    - perl: devcpan_5.12.2_thr
+    # 5.8.7 threaded with blead CPAN with non-tracing poisoning
+    - perl: "devcpan_5.8.7_thr"
+      sudo: false
+      dist: precise
       env:
         - CLEANTEST=true
+        - DEVREL_DEPS=true
+        - POISON_ENV=true
+        - BREWVER=5.8.7
         - BREWOPTS="-Duseithreads"
-        - BREWVER=5.12.2
+
+    # 5.8.8 threaded MB (exercises P5#72210)
+    - perl: "devcpan_5.8.8_thr_mb"
+      sudo: false
+      dist: precise
+      env:
+        - CLEANTEST=true
+        - DBICTEST_VERSION_WARNS_INDISCRIMINATELY=1
         - DEVREL_DEPS=true
+        - BREWVER=5.8.8
+        - BREWOPTS="-Duseithreads -Dusemorebits"
 
-    # recentish threaded stable with blead CPAN
-    - perl: devcpan_5.18.2_thr_mb
+    # 5.10.0 threaded with blead CPAN
+    - perl: "devcpan_5.10.0_thr_mb"
+      sudo: false
+      dist: precise
       env:
-        - CLEANTEST=false
+        - CLEANTEST=true
+        - DEVREL_DEPS=true
+        - BREWVER=5.10.0
         - BREWOPTS="-Duseithreads -Dusemorebits"
-        - BREWVER=5.18.2
+
+    # 5.12.1 with blead CPAN
+    - perl: "devcpan_5.12.1_thr"
+      sudo: false
+      dist: precise
+      env:
+        - CLEANTEST=true
         - DEVREL_DEPS=true
+        - BREWVER=5.12.1
+        - BREWOPTS="-Duseithreads"
 
-    # bleadperl with stock CPAN, full depchain test
-    - perl: bleadperl
+    # bleadperl with stock CPAN, full depchain test with non-tracing poisoning, single thread
+    - perl: "bleadperl"
+      sudo: required
+      dist: precise
       env:
+        - VCPU_USE=1
         - CLEANTEST=true
+        - POISON_ENV=true
         - BREWVER=blead
 
-    # bleadperl with blead CPAN
-    - perl: devcpan_bleadperl_thr_mb
+    # bleadperl with blead CPAN, single thread
+    - perl: "devcpan_bleadperl_thr_mb"
+      sudo: required
+      # explicitly do not specify dist - see what the default does
       env:
+        - VCPU_USE=1
         - CLEANTEST=false
-        - BREWOPTS="-Duseithreads -Dusemorebits"
-        - BREWVER=blead
         - DEVREL_DEPS=true
-
+        - BREWVER=blead
+        - BREWOPTS="-Duseithreads -Dusemorebits"
 
   # which ones of the above can fail
   allow_failures:
 
     # these run with various dev snapshots - allowed to fail
+    - perl: devcpan_5.8.1_thr_mb
+    - perl: devcpan_5.8.1
+    - perl: devcpan_5.8.3_mb
     - perl: devcpan_5.8.7_thr
+    - perl: devcpan_5.8.8_thr_mb
     - perl: devcpan_5.10.0_thr_mb
-    - perl: devcpan_5.12.2_thr
-    - perl: devcpan_5.18.2_thr_mb
+    - perl: devcpan_5.12.1_thr
     - perl: bleadperl
     - perl: devcpan_bleadperl_thr_mb
 
 
-# sourcing the files is *EXTREMELY* important - otherwise
-# no envvars will survive
-
-# the entire run times out after 50 minutes, or after 5 minutes without
-# console output
+###
+### For the following two phases -e is *set*
+###
 
 before_install:
+  # common functions for all run phases below
+  #
+  # this is an exporter - sourcing it is crucial
+  # among other things it also sets -e
+  #
+  - source maint/travis-ci_scripts/common.bash
+
   # Sets global envvars, downloads/configures debs based on CLEANTEST
   # Sets extra DBICTEST_* envvars
   #
+  # this is an exporter - sourcing it is crucial
+  #
   - source maint/travis-ci_scripts/10_before_install.bash
 
 install:
   # Build and switch to a custom perl if requested
   # Configure the perl env, preinstall some generic toolchain parts
+  # Possibly poison the environment
+  #
+  # this is an exporter - sourcing it is crucial
   #
   - source maint/travis-ci_scripts/20_install.bash
 
+###
+### From this point on -e is *unset*, rely on travis' error handling
+###
+  - set +e
+
 before_script:
   # Preinstall/install deps based on envvars/CLEANTEST
   #
-  - source maint/travis-ci_scripts/30_before_script.bash
+  # need to invoke the after_failure script manually
+  # because 'after_failure' runs only after 'script' fails
+  #
+  - maint/getstatus maint/travis-ci_scripts/30_before_script.bash
 
 script:
   # Run actual tests
   #
-  - source maint/travis-ci_scripts/40_script.bash
+  - maint/getstatus maint/travis-ci_scripts/40_script.bash
+
+###
+### Set -e back, work around https://github.com/travis-ci/travis-ci/issues/3533
+###
+  - set -e
 
 after_success:
-  # Check if we can assemble a dist properly if not in CLEANTEST
+  # Disabled
   #
-  - source maint/travis-ci_scripts/50_after_success.bash
+  #- maint/getstatus maint/travis-ci_scripts/50_after_success.bash
 
 after_failure:
-  # No tasks yet
+  # Final sysinfo printout on fail
   #
-  #- source maint/travis-ci_scripts/50_after_failure.bash
+  - maint/getstatus maint/travis-ci_scripts/50_after_failure.bash
 
 after_script:
   # No tasks yet
   #
-  #- source maint/travis-ci_scripts/60_after_script.bash
-
-  # if we do not unset this before we terminate the travis teardown will
-  # mark the entire job as failed
-  - set +e
+  #- maint/getstatus maint/travis-ci_scripts/60_after_script.bash
diff --git a/maint/getstatus b/maint/getstatus
new file mode 100755
index 0000000..f49c410
--- /dev/null
+++ b/maint/getstatus
@@ -0,0 +1,52 @@
+#!/usr/bin/perl
+
+use warnings;
+use strict;
+
+use Config;
+use Term::ANSIColor ':constants';
+my $CRST = RESET;
+my $CCODE = BOLD;
+my $CSTAT = BOLD . GREEN;
+my $CCORE = BOLD . CYAN;
+my $CSIG = CYAN;
+
+if (@ARGV) {
+  my $code = system (@ARGV);
+
+  if ($code < 0) {
+    exit 127;
+  }
+  elsif ($code > 0) {
+
+    my $status = $code >> 8;
+    my $signum = $code & 127;
+    my $core = $code & 128;
+
+    my %sig_idx;
+    @sig_idx{split /\s+/, $Config{sig_num}} = split /\s/, $Config{sig_name};
+
+    printf STDERR (
+<<EOF
+
+Results of execution: `%s`
+----------------------
+System exit code:$CCODE %d $CRST$CSIG %s $CRST
+ ($CSTAT%08b$CRST$CCORE%b$CRST$CSIG%07b$CRST)
+
+Status: %3s ($CSTAT%08b$CRST)
+Signal: %3s ($CSIG%08b$CRST)
+Core:   %3s
+----------------------
+EOF
+    , (join ' ', @ARGV),
+      $code, ($signum ? "(SIG-$sig_idx{$signum})" : ''),
+      $status, $core, $signum,
+      ($status) x 2,
+      ($signum) x 2,
+      ($core ? 'Yes': 'No')
+    );
+
+    exit ($status);
+  }
+}
diff --git a/maint/travis-ci_scripts/10_before_install.bash b/maint/travis-ci_scripts/10_before_install.bash
index f861b0e..4fa1338 100755
--- a/maint/travis-ci_scripts/10_before_install.bash
+++ b/maint/travis-ci_scripts/10_before_install.bash
@@ -1,54 +1,152 @@
 #!/bin/bash
 
-source maint/travis-ci_scripts/common.bash
-if [[ -n "$SHORT_CIRCUIT_SMOKE" ]] ; then return ; fi
+export SHORT_CIRCUIT_SMOKE
+
+if have_sudo ; then
+
+  # Stop pre-started RDBMS, move their data back to disk (save RAM)
+  # sync for some settle time (not available on all platforms)
+  for d in mysql postgresql ; do
+    # maybe not even running
+    run_or_err "Stopping $d" "sudo /etc/init.d/$d stop || /bin/true"
+
+    # no longer available on newer build systems
+    if [[ -d /var/ramfs/$d ]] ; then
+      sudo rm -rf /var/lib/$d
+      sudo mv /var/ramfs/$d /var/lib/
+      sudo ln -s /var/lib/$d /var/ramfs/$d
+    fi
+  done
+  /bin/sync
+fi
 
-# Different boxes we run on may have different amount of hw threads
-# Hence why we need to query
-# Originally we used to read /sys/devices/system/cpu/online
-# but it is not available these days (odd). Thus we fall to
-# the alwas-present /proc/cpuinfo
-# The oneliner is a tad convoluted - basicaly what we do is
-# slurp the entire file and get the index off the last
-# `processor    : XX` line
-export NUMTHREADS="$(( $(perl -0777 -n -e 'print (/ (?: .+ ^ processor \s+ : \s+ (\d+) ) (?! ^ processor ) /smx)' < /proc/cpuinfo) + 1 ))"
+# Sanity check VM before continuing
+echo "
+=============================================================================
+
+= Startup Meminfo
+$(free -m -t)
+
+============================================================================="
+
+CI_VM_MIN_FREE_MB=2000
+if [[ "$(free -m | grep 'buffers/cache:' | perl -p -e '$_ = (split /\s+/, $_)[3]')" -lt "$CI_VM_MIN_FREE_MB" ]]; then
+  SHORT_CIRCUIT_SMOKE=1
+  echo_err "
+=============================================================================
+
+CI virtual machine stuck in a state with a lot of memory locked for no reason.
+Under Travis this state usually results in a failed build.
+Short-circuiting buildjob to avoid false negatives, please restart it manually.
+
+============================================================================="
+
+# pull requests are always scrutinized after the fact anyway - run a
+# a simpler matrix
+elif [[ "$TRAVIS_PULL_REQUEST" != "false" ]]; then
+  if [[ -n "$BREWVER" ]]; then
+    # just don't brew anything
+    SHORT_CIRCUIT_SMOKE=1
+  else
+    # running PRs with 1 thread is non-sensical
+    VCPU_USE=""
+  fi
+fi
 
-export CACHE_DIR="/tmp/poormanscache"
+if [[ -n "$SHORT_CIRCUIT_SMOKE" ]] ; then return ; fi
 
-# install some common tools from APT, more below unless CLEANTEST
-apt_install libapp-nopaste-perl tree apt-transport-https
+# Previously we were going off the OpenVZ vcpu count and dividing by 3
+# With the new infrastructure, somply go with "something high"
+export VCPU_AVAILABLE=10
+
+if [[ -z "$VCPU_USE" ]] ; then
+  export VCPU_USE="$VCPU_AVAILABLE"
+fi
 
-# FIXME - the debian package is oddly broken - uses a bin/env based shebang
-# so nothing works under a brew. Fix here until #debian-perl patches it up
-sudo /usr/bin/perl -p -i -e 's|#!/usr/bin/env perl|#!/usr/bin/perl|' $(which nopaste)
 
 if [[ "$CLEANTEST" != "true" ]]; then
-### apt-get invocation - faster to grab everything at once
+
+  if [[ -z "$(tail -n +2 /proc/swaps)" ]] ; then
+    run_or_err "Configuring swap (for Oracle)" \
+      "sudo bash -c 'dd if=/dev/zero of=/swap.img bs=256M count=5 && chmod 600 /swap.img && mkswap /swap.img && swapon /swap.img'"
+  fi
+
+
+  # never installed, this looks like trusty
+  if [[ ! -d /var/lib/mysql ]] ; then
+    sudo dpkg --add-architecture i386
+    extra_debs+=( postgresql mysql-server )
+  fi
+
+
+  # these APT sources do not mean anything to us anyway
+  sudo rm -rf /etc/apt/sources.list.d/*
+
   #
-  # FIXME these debconf lines should automate the firebird config but do not :(((
+  # FIXME these debconf lines should automate the firebird config but seem not to :(((
   sudo bash -c 'echo -e "firebird2.5-super\tshared/firebird/enabled\tboolean\ttrue" | debconf-set-selections'
   sudo bash -c 'echo -e "firebird2.5-super\tshared/firebird/sysdba_password/new_password\tpassword\t123" | debconf-set-selections'
 
-  # add extra APT repo for Oracle
-  # (https is critical - apt-get update can't seem to follow the 302)
-  sudo bash -c 'echo -e "\ndeb [arch=i386] https://oss.oracle.com/debian unstable main non-free" >> /etc/apt/sources.list'
+  run_or_err "Updating APT sources" "sudo apt-get update"
+  apt_install ${extra_debs[@]} libmysqlclient-dev memcached firebird2.5-super firebird2.5-dev expect
 
-  run_or_err "Cloning poor man's cache from github" "git clone --depth=1 --branch=poor_mans_travis_cache https://github.com/ribasushi/travis_futzing.git $CACHE_DIR && $CACHE_DIR/reassemble"
 
-  run_or_err "Priming up the APT cache with $(echo $(ls -d $CACHE_DIR/apt_cache/*.deb))" "sudo cp $CACHE_DIR/apt_cache/*.deb /var/cache/apt/archives"
+  # need to stop them again, in case we installed them above (trusty)
+  for d in mysql postgresql ; do
+    run_or_err "Stopping $d" "sudo /etc/init.d/$d stop || /bin/true"
+  done
+
+
+  export CACHE_DIR="/tmp/poormanscache"
+  mkdir "$CACHE_DIR"
+
+  # FIXME - by default db2 eats too much memory, we won't be able to test on legacy infra
+  # someone needs to add a minimizing configuration akin to 9367d187
+  if [[ "$(free -m | grep 'Mem:' | perl -p -e '$_ = (split /\s+/, $_)[1]')" -gt 4000 ]] ; then
+    run_or_err "Getting DB2 from poor man's cache github" '
+      wget -qO- https://github.com/poormanscache/poormanscache/archive/DB2_ExC/9.7.5_deb_x86-64.tar.gz \
+    | tar -C "$CACHE_DIR" -zx'
+
+    # the actual package is built for lucid, installs fine on both precise and trusty
+    manual_debs+=( "db2exc_9.7.5-0lucid0_amd64.deb" )
+  fi
+
+  run_or_err "Getting Oracle from poor man's cache github" '
+    wget -qO- https://github.com/poormanscache/poormanscache/archive/OracleXE/10.2.0_deb_mixed.tar.gz \
+  | tar -C "$CACHE_DIR" -zx'
+  manual_debs+=( "bc-multiarch-travis_1.0_all.deb" "oracle-xe_10.2.0.1-1.1_i386.deb" )
+
+
+  # reassemble chunked pieces ( working around github's filesize limit )
+  for reass in $CACHE_DIR/*/reassemble ; do /bin/bash "$reass" ; done
+
+  run_or_err "Installing RDBMS debs manually: $( echo ${manual_debs[@]/#/$CACHE_DIR/*/*/} )" \
+    "sudo dpkg -i $( echo ${manual_debs[@]/#/$CACHE_DIR/*/*/} ) || sudo bash -c 'source maint/travis-ci_scripts/common.bash && apt_install -f'"
+
+
+  # needs to happen separately and *after* db2exc, as the former shits all over /usr/include (wtf?!)
+  # for more info look at /opt/ibm/db2/V9.7/instance/db2iutil :: create_links()
+  apt_install unixodbc-dev
 
-  apt_install memcached firebird2.5-super firebird2.5-dev unixodbc-dev expect oracle-xe
 
 ### config memcached
   run_or_err "Starting memcached" "sudo /etc/init.d/memcached start"
   export DBICTEST_MEMCACHED=127.0.0.1:11211
 
 ### config mysql
-  run_or_err "Creating MySQL TestDB" "mysql -e 'create database dbic_test;'"
+  run_or_err "Installing minimizing MySQL config" "\
+     sudo bash -c 'rm /var/lib/mysql/ib*' \
+  && sudo cp maint/travis-ci_scripts/configs/minimal_mysql_travis.cnf /etc/mysql/conf.d/ \
+  && sudo chmod 644 /etc/mysql/conf.d/*.cnf \
+  "
+
+  run_or_err "Starting MySQL" "sudo /etc/init.d/mysql start"
+  run_or_err "Creating MySQL TestDB" "mysql -u root -e 'create database dbic_test;'"
   export DBICTEST_MYSQL_DSN='dbi:mysql:database=dbic_test;host=127.0.0.1'
   export DBICTEST_MYSQL_USER=root
 
 ### config pg
+  run_or_err "Starting PostgreSQL" "sudo /etc/init.d/postgresql start"
   run_or_err "Creating PostgreSQL TestDB" "psql -c 'create database dbic_test;' -U postgres"
   export DBICTEST_PG_DSN='dbi:Pg:database=dbic_test;host=127.0.0.1'
   export DBICTEST_PG_USER=postgres
@@ -61,27 +159,19 @@ if [[ "$CLEANTEST" != "true" ]]; then
     send "\177\177\177\177yes\r"
     expect "Password for SYSDBA"
     send "123\r"
-    sleep 1
+    sleep 2
     expect eof
   '
   # creating testdb
   # FIXME - this step still fails from time to time >:(((
   # has to do with the FB reconfiguration I suppose
   # for now if it fails twice - simply skip FB testing
-  for i in 1 2 ; do
+  for i in 1 2 3 ; do
 
     run_or_err "Re-configuring Firebird" "
       sync
+      sleep 5
       DEBIAN_FRONTEND=text sudo expect -c '$EXPECT_FB_SCRIPT'
-      sleep 1
-      sync
-      # restart the server for good measure
-      sudo /etc/init.d/firebird2.5-super stop || true
-      sleep 1
-      sync
-      sudo /etc/init.d/firebird2.5-super start
-      sleep 1
-      sync
     "
 
     if run_or_err "Creating Firebird TestDB" \
@@ -184,5 +274,25 @@ FileUsage       = 1
     GRANT connect,resource TO $DBICTEST_ORA_EXTRAUSER_USER;
   '"
 
-  export ORACLE_HOME="$CACHE_DIR/ora_instaclient/x86-64/oracle_instaclient_10.2.0.5.0"
+  export ORACLE_HOME="$CACHE_DIR/poormanscache-OracleXE-10.2.0_deb_mixed/ora_instaclient/x86-64/oracle_instaclient_10.2.0.5.0"
+
+### config db2exc
+  # we may have skipped installation due to low memory
+  if dpkg -l db2exc &>/dev/null ; then
+    # WTF is this world-writable?
+    # Strip the write bit so it doesn't trip Ubuntu's symlink-in-/tmp attack mitigation
+    sudo chmod -R o-w ~dasusr1/das
+
+    export DB2_HOME=/opt/ibm/db2/V9.7
+    export DBICTEST_DB2_DSN=dbi:DB2:DATABASE=dbictest
+    export DBICTEST_DB2_USER=db2inst1
+    export DBICTEST_DB2_PASS=abc123456
+
+    run_or_err "Set up DB2 users" \
+      "echo -e '$DBICTEST_DB2_PASS\n$DBICTEST_DB2_PASS' | sudo passwd $DBICTEST_DB2_USER"
+
+    run_or_err "Create DB2 database" \
+      "sudo -u $DBICTEST_DB2_USER -i db2 'CREATE DATABASE dbictest' && sudo -u $DBICTEST_DB2_USER -i db2 'ACTIVATE DATABASE dbictest'"
+  fi
+
 fi
diff --git a/maint/travis-ci_scripts/20_install.bash b/maint/travis-ci_scripts/20_install.bash
index e254fb2..3a4ff7b 100755
--- a/maint/travis-ci_scripts/20_install.bash
+++ b/maint/travis-ci_scripts/20_install.bash
@@ -1,47 +1,62 @@
 #!/bin/bash
 
-source maint/travis-ci_scripts/common.bash
 if [[ -n "$SHORT_CIRCUIT_SMOKE" ]] ; then return ; fi
 
-CPAN_MIRROR=$(echo "$PERL_CPANM_OPT" | grep -oP -- '--mirror\s+\S+' | head -n 1 | cut -d ' ' -f 2)
-if ! [[ "$CPAN_MIRROR" =~ "http://" ]] ; then
-  echo_err "Unable to extract primary cpan mirror from PERL_CPANM_OPT - something is wrong"
-  echo_err "PERL_CPANM_OPT: $PERL_CPANM_OPT"
-  CPAN_MIRROR="http://cpan.metacpan.org/"
-  PERL_CPANM_OPT="$PERL_CPANM_OPT --mirror $CPAN_MIRROR"
-  echo_err "Using $CPAN_MIRROR for the time being"
-fi
+# we need a mirror that both has the standard index and a backpan version rolled
+# into one, due to MDV testing
+export CPAN_MIRROR="http://cpan.metacpan.org/"
+
+PERL_CPANM_OPT="$PERL_CPANM_OPT --mirror $CPAN_MIRROR"
 
-export PERL_MM_USE_DEFAULT=1 PERL_MM_NONINTERACTIVE=1 PERL_AUTOINSTALL_PREFER_CPAN=1 PERLBREW_CPAN_MIRROR="$CPAN_MIRROR" HARNESS_TIMER=1 MAKEFLAGS="-j$NUMTHREADS"
+# do not set PERLBREW_CPAN_MIRROR - not all backpan-like mirrors have the perl tarballs
+export PERL_MM_USE_DEFAULT=1 PERL_MM_NONINTERACTIVE=1 PERL_AUTOINSTALL_PREFER_CPAN=1 HARNESS_TIMER=1 MAKEFLAGS="-j$VCPU_USE"
 
 # try CPAN's latest offering if requested
 if [[ "$DEVREL_DEPS" == "true" ]] ; then
 
   PERL_CPANM_OPT="$PERL_CPANM_OPT --dev"
 
-  # FIXME inline-upgrade cpanm, work around https://github.com/travis-ci/travis-ci/issues/1477
-  cpanm_loc="$(which cpanm)"
-  run_or_err "Upgrading cpanm ($cpanm_loc) to latest stable" \
-    "wget -q -O $cpanm_loc cpanmin.us && chmod a+x $cpanm_loc"
 fi
 
 # Fixup CPANM_OPT to behave more like a traditional cpan client
 export PERL_CPANM_OPT="--verbose --no-interactive --no-man-pages $( echo $PERL_CPANM_OPT | sed 's/--skip-satisfied//' )"
 
 if [[ -n "$BREWVER" ]] ; then
+
   # since perl 5.14 a perl can safely be built concurrently with -j$large
   # (according to brute force testing and my power bill)
-  if [[ "$BREWVER" == "blead" ]] || perl -Mversion -e "exit !!(version->new(q($BREWVER)) < 5.014)" ; then
-    perlbrew_jopt="$NUMTHREADS"
+  if [[ "$BREWVER" =~ [A-Za-z] ]] || perl -Mversion -e "exit !!(version->new(q($BREWVER)) < 5.014)" ; then
+    perlbrew_jopt="$VCPU_USE"
+  fi
+
+  BREWSRC="$BREWVER"
+
+  if is_cperl; then
+    if [[ "$BREWVER" == "cperl-master" ]] ; then
+      git clone --single-branch --depth=1 --branch=master https://github.com/perl11/cperl /tmp/cperl-master
+      BREWSRC="/tmp/cperl-master"
+    else
+      # FFS perlbrew ( see http://wollmers-perl.blogspot.de/2015/10/install-cperl-with-perlbrew.html )
+      wget -qO- https://github.com/perl11/cperl/archive/$BREWVER.tar.gz > /tmp/cperl-$BREWVER.tar.gz
+      BREWSRC="/tmp/cperl-$BREWVER.tar.gz"
+    fi
+  elif [[ "$BREWVER" == "schmorp_stableperl" ]] ; then
+    BREWSRC="http://stableperl.schmorp.de/dist/stableperl-5.22.0-1.001.tar.gz"
   fi
 
   run_or_err "Compiling/installing Perl $BREWVER (without testing, using ${perlbrew_jopt:-1} threads, may take up to 5 minutes)" \
-    "perlbrew install --as $BREWVER --notest --noman --verbose $BREWOPTS -j${perlbrew_jopt:-1}  $BREWVER"
+    "perlbrew install --as $BREWVER --notest --noman --verbose $BREWOPTS -j${perlbrew_jopt:-1}  $BREWSRC"
+
+  # FIXME work around https://github.com/perl11/cperl/issues/144
+  # (still affecting 5.22.3)
+  if is_cperl && ! [[ -f ~/perl5/perlbrew/perls/$BREWVER/bin/perl ]] ; then
+    ln -s ~/perl5/perlbrew/perls/$BREWVER/bin/cperl ~/perl5/perlbrew/perls/$BREWVER/bin/perl
+  fi
 
-  # can not do 'perlbrew uss' in the run_or_err subshell above, or a $()
-  # furthermore `perlbrew use` returns 0 regardless of whether the perl is
-  # found (won't be there unless compilation suceeded, wich *ALSO* returns 0)
-  perlbrew use $BREWVER
+  # can not do 'perlbrew use' in the run_or_err subshell above, or a $()
+  # furthermore some versions of `perlbrew use` return 0 regardless of whether
+  # the perl is found (won't be there unless compilation suceeded, wich *ALSO* returns 0)
+  perlbrew use $BREWVER || /bin/true
 
   if [[ "$( perlbrew use | grep -oP '(?<=Currently using ).+' )" != "$BREWVER" ]] ; then
     echo_err "Unable to switch to $BREWVER - compilation failed...?"
@@ -51,25 +66,15 @@ if [[ -n "$BREWVER" ]] ; then
 
 # no brewver - this means a travis perl, which means we want to clean up
 # the presently installed libs
-# Idea stolen from
-# https://github.com/kentfredric/Dist-Zilla-Plugin-Prereqs-MatchInstalled-All/blob/master/maint-travis-ci/sterilize_env.pl
 elif [[ "$CLEANTEST" == "true" ]] && [[ "$POISON_ENV" != "true" ]] ; then
+  purge_sitelib
+fi
 
-  echo_err "$(tstamp) Cleaning precompiled Travis-Perl"
-  perl -MConfig -MFile::Find -e '
-    my $sitedirs = {
-      map { $Config{$_} => 1 }
-        grep { $_ =~ /site(lib|arch)exp$/ }
-          keys %Config
-    };
-    find({ bydepth => 1, no_chdir => 1, follow_fast => 1, wanted => sub {
-      ! $sitedirs->{$_} and ( -d _ ? rmdir : unlink )
-    } }, keys %$sitedirs )
-  '
-
-  echo_err "Post-cleanup contents of sitelib of the pre-compiled Travis-Perl $TRAVIS_PERL_VERSION:"
-  echo_err "$(tree $(perl -MConfig -e 'print $Config{sitelib_stem}'))"
-  echo_err
+if [[ "$POISON_ENV" = "true" ]] ; then
+  # create a perlbrew-specific local lib
+  perlbrew lib create travis-local
+  perlbrew use "$( perlbrew use | grep -oP '(?<=Currently using ).+' )@travis-local"
+  echo_err "POISON_ENV active - adding a local lib: $(perlbrew use)"
 fi
 
 # configure CPAN.pm - older versions go into an endless loop
@@ -80,7 +85,88 @@ CPAN_CFG_SCRIPT="
   *CPAN::FirstTime::conf_sites = sub {};
   CPAN::Config->load;
   \$CPAN::Config->{urllist} = [qw{ $CPAN_MIRROR }];
-  \$CPAN::Config->{halt_on_failure} = 1;
+  \$CPAN::Config->{halt_on_failure} = $( is_cperl && echo -n 0 || echo -n 1 );
   CPAN::Config->commit;
 "
 run_or_err "Configuring CPAN.pm" "perl -e '$CPAN_CFG_SCRIPT'"
+
+
+# These envvars are always set, more *maybe* below
+export DBIC_SHUFFLE_UNORDERED_RESULTSETS=1
+
+# bogus nonexisting DBI_*
+export DBI_DSN="dbi:ODBC:server=NonexistentServerAddress"
+export DBI_DRIVER="ADO"
+
+# some people do in fact set this - boggle!!!
+# it of course won't work before 5.8.4
+if perl -M5.008004 -e 1 &>/dev/null ; then
+  export PERL_STRICTURES_EXTRA=1
+fi
+
+
+# poison the environment
+if [[ "$POISON_ENV" = "true" ]] ; then
+
+  toggle_vars=( MVDT )
+
+  [[ "$CLEANTEST" == "true" ]] && toggle_vars+=( BREAK_CC )
+
+  for var in "${toggle_vars[@]}"  ; do
+    if [[ -z "${!var}" ]] ; then
+      export $var=true
+      echo "POISON_ENV: setting $var to 'true'"
+    fi
+  done
+
+  # look through lib, find all mentioned DBIC* ENVvars and set them to true and see if anything explodes
+  toggle_booleans=( $( grep -ohP '\bDBIC_[0-9_A-Z]+' -r lib/ --exclude-dir Optional | sort -u | grep -vP '^(DBIC_TRACE(_PROFILE)?|DBIC_.+_DEBUG)$' ) )
+
+  # some extra pollutants
+  toggle_booleans+=( \
+    DBICTEST_ASSERT_NO_SPURIOUS_EXCEPTION_ACTION \
+    DBICTEST_SQLITE_USE_FILE \
+    DBICTEST_RUN_ALL_TESTS \
+    DBICTEST_SQLITE_REVERSE_DEFAULT_ORDER \
+  )
+
+  # if we have Moose - try to run everything under replicated
+  # FIXME - when switching to Moo kill this
+  if [[ "$CLEANTEST" != "true" ]] && perl -M5.008003 -e 1 &>/dev/null ; then
+    toggle_booleans+=( DBICTEST_VIA_REPLICATED )
+  fi
+
+  for var in "${toggle_booleans[@]}"
+  do
+    if [[ -z "${!var}" ]] ; then
+      export $var=1
+      echo "POISON_ENV: setting $var to 1"
+    fi
+  done
+
+
+### emulate a local::lib-like env
+
+  # trick cpanm into executing true as shell - we just need the find+unpack
+  run_or_err "Downloading latest stable DBIC from CPAN" \
+    "SHELL=/bin/true cpanm --look DBIx::Class"
+
+  # move it somewhere as following cpanm will clobber it
+  run_or_err "Moving latest stable DBIC from CPAN to /tmp" "mv ~/.cpanm/latest-build/DBIx-Class-*/lib /tmp/stable_dbic_lib"
+
+  export PERL5LIB="/tmp/stable_dbic_lib:$PERL5LIB"
+
+  # perldoc -l <mod> searches $(pwd)/lib in addition to PERL5LIB etc, hence the cd /
+  echo_err "Latest stable DBIC (without deps) locatable via \$PERL5LIB at $(cd / && perldoc -l DBIx::Class)"
+fi
+
+if [[ "$CLEANTEST" != "true" ]] ; then
+  # using SQLT if will be available
+  # not doing later because we will be running in a subshell
+  export DBICTEST_SQLT_DEPLOY=1
+
+fi
+
+# FIXME - work around https://github.com/miyagawa/cpanminus/issues/462
+# seriously...
+perl -p -i -e 's/\blocal\$self->\{notest\}=1;//' $(which cpanm)
diff --git a/maint/travis-ci_scripts/30_before_script.bash b/maint/travis-ci_scripts/30_before_script.bash
index a91067a..3feaa2c 100755
--- a/maint/travis-ci_scripts/30_before_script.bash
+++ b/maint/travis-ci_scripts/30_before_script.bash
@@ -1,55 +1,104 @@
 #!/bin/bash
 
+# this file is executed in a subshell - set up the common stuff
 source maint/travis-ci_scripts/common.bash
-if [[ -n "$SHORT_CIRCUIT_SMOKE" ]] ; then return ; fi
 
-# poison the environment
-if [[ "$POISON_ENV" = "true" ]] ; then
+if [[ -n "$SHORT_CIRCUIT_SMOKE" ]] ; then exit 0 ; fi
 
-  # look through lib, find all mentioned ENVvars and set them
-  # to true and see if anything explodes
-  for var in $(grep -P '\$ENV\{' -r lib/ | grep -oP 'DBIC_\w+' | sort -u | grep -v DBIC_TRACE) ; do
-    if [[ -z "${!var}" ]] ; then
-      export $var=1
-    fi
-  done
+# The DEVREL_DEPS prereq-install stage won't mix with MVDT
+# DEVREL wins
+if [[ "$DEVREL_DEPS" == "true" ]] ; then
+  export MVDT=""
+fi
 
-  # bogus nonexisting DBI_*
-  export DBI_DSN="dbi:ODBC:server=NonexistentServerAddress"
-  export DBI_DRIVER="ADO"
+# Need a shitton of patches to run on cperl (luckily all provided)
+if is_cperl ; then
 
-  # make sure tests do not rely on implicid order of returned results
-  export DBICTEST_SQLITE_REVERSE_DEFAULT_ORDER=1
+  run_or_err "Downloading and installing cperl distroprefs" '
+    wget -qO- https://github.com/rurban/distroprefs/archive/master.tar.gz |\
+    tar -C $HOME/.cpan --strip-components 1 -zx distroprefs-master/prefs distroprefs-master/sources
+  '
 
-  # emulate a local::lib-like env
-  # trick cpanm into executing true as shell - we just need the find+unpack
-  run_or_err "Downloading latest stable DBIC from CPAN" \
-    "SHELL=/bin/true cpanm --look DBIx::Class"
+  # Argh -DFORTIFY_INC!!!
+  # FIXME - remove when M::I is gone
+  export PERL5LIB="$PERL5LIB:."
 
-  export PERL5LIB="$( ls -d ~/.cpanm/latest-build/DBIx-Class-*/lib | tail -n1 ):$PERL5LIB"
+  # Also need to have YAML in place, otherwise the distroprefs are not readable
+  # work around https://github.com/perl11/cperl/issues/155#issuecomment-224862978
+  perl -MYAML -e1 &>/dev/null || installdeps YAML
 
-  # perldoc -l <mod> searches $(pwd)/lib in addition to PERL5LIB etc, hence the cd /
-  echo_err "Latest stable DBIC (without deps) locatable via \$PERL5LIB at $(cd / && perldoc -l DBIx::Class)"
+fi
+
+
+# announce what are we running
+echo_err "$(ci_vm_state_text)"
+
+
+# FIXME - this is a kludge in place of proper MVDT testing. For the time
+# being simply use the minimum versions of our DBI/DBDstack, to avoid
+# fuckups like 0.08260 (went unnoticed for 5 months)
+if [[ "$MVDT" == "true" ]] ; then
 
-  # FIXME - this is a kludge in place of proper MDV testing. For the time
-  # being simply use the minimum versions of our DBI/DBDstack, to avoid
-  # fuckups like 0.08260 (went unnoticed for 5 months)
-  #
   # use url-spec for DBI due to https://github.com/miyagawa/cpanminus/issues/328
-  if perl -M5.013003 -e1 &>/dev/null ; then
+  if [[ "$CLEANTEST" != "true" ]] || perl -M5.013003 -e1 &>/dev/null ; then
+    # the fulltest may re-upgrade DBI, be conservative only on cleantests
     # earlier DBI will not compile without PERL_POLLUTE which was gone in 5.14
     parallel_installdeps_notest T/TI/TIMB/DBI-1.614.tar.gz
+
+    # FIXME work around DBD::DB2 being silly: https://rt.cpan.org/Ticket/Display.html?id=101659
+    if [[ -n "$DBICTEST_DB2_DSN" ]] ; then
+      echo_err "Installing same DBI version into the main perl (above the current local::lib)"
+      $SHELL -lic "perlbrew use $( perlbrew use | grep -oP '(?<=Currently using )[^@]+' ) && parallel_installdeps_notest T/TI/TIMB/DBI-1.614.tar.gz"
+    fi
   else
     parallel_installdeps_notest T/TI/TIMB/DBI-1.57.tar.gz
+
+    # FIXME work around DBD::DB2 being silly: https://rt.cpan.org/Ticket/Display.html?id=101659
+    if [[ -n "$DBICTEST_DB2_DSN" ]] ; then
+      echo_err "Installing same DBI version into the main perl (above the current local::lib)"
+      $SHELL -lic "perlbrew use $( perlbrew use | grep -oP '(?<=Currently using )[^@]+' ) && parallel_installdeps_notest T/TI/TIMB/DBI-1.57.tar.gz"
+    fi
   fi
 
   # Test both minimum DBD::SQLite and minimum BigInt SQLite
+  # reverse the logic from above for this (low on full, higher on clean)
   if [[ "$CLEANTEST" = "true" ]]; then
     parallel_installdeps_notest DBD::SQLite@1.37
   else
     parallel_installdeps_notest DBD::SQLite@1.29
   fi
+fi
+
+#
+# try minimal fully tested installs *without* a compiler (with some exceptions of course)
+if [[ "$BREAK_CC" == "true" ]] ; then
 
+  [[ "$CLEANTEST" != "true" ]] && echo_err "Breaking the compiler without CLEANTEST makes no sense" && exit 1
+
+  # FIXME - working around RT#74707, https://metacpan.org/source/DOY/Package-Stash-0.37/Makefile.PL#L112-122
+  #
+  # DEVREL_DEPS means our installer is cpanm, which will respect failures
+  # and the like, so stuff soft-failing (failed deps that are not in fact
+  # needed) will not fly. Add *EVEN MORE* stuff that needs a compiler
+  #
+  # FIXME - the PathTools 3.47 is to work around https://rt.cpan.org/Ticket/Display.html?id=107392
+  #
+  installdeps Sub::Name Clone Package::Stash::XS \
+              $( perl -MFile::Spec\ 3.26 -e1 &>/dev/null || echo "File::Path File::Spec" ) \
+              $( perl -MList::Util\ 1.16 -e1 &>/dev/null || echo "List::Util" ) \
+              $( [[ "$DEVREL_DEPS" == "true" ]] && ( perl -MFile::Spec\ 3.13 -e1 &>/dev/null || echo "S/SM/SMUELLER/PathTools-3.47.tar.gz" ) ) \
+              $( perl -MDBI -e1 &>/dev/null || echo "DBI" ) \
+              $( perl -MDBD::SQLite -e1 &>/dev/null || echo "DBD::SQLite" )
+
+  mkdir -p "$HOME/bin" # this is already in $PATH, just doesn't exist
+  run_or_err "Linking ~/bin/cc to /bin/false - thus essentially BREAKING the C compiler" \
+             "ln -s /bin/false $HOME/bin/cc"
+
+  # FIXME: working around RT#113682, and some other unfiled bugs
+  installdeps Module::Build Devel::GlobalDestruction Class::Accessor::Grouped
+
+  run_or_err "Linking ~/bin/cc to /bin/true - BREAKING the C compiler even harder" \
+             "ln -fs /bin/true $HOME/bin/cc"
 fi
 
 if [[ "$CLEANTEST" = "true" ]]; then
@@ -58,7 +107,7 @@ if [[ "$CLEANTEST" = "true" ]]; then
   # the point is to have a *really* clean perl (the ones
   # we build are guaranteed to be clean, without side
   # effects from travis preinstalls)
-
+  #
   # trick cpanm into executing true as shell - we just need the find+unpack
   [[ -d ~/.cpanm/latest-build/DBIx-Class-*/inc ]] || run_or_err "Downloading latest stable DBIC inc/ from CPAN" \
     "SHELL=/bin/true cpanm --look DBIx::Class"
@@ -73,166 +122,100 @@ if [[ "$CLEANTEST" = "true" ]]; then
   # So instead we still use our stock (possibly old) CPAN, and add some
   # handholding
 
-  if [[ "$DEVREL_DEPS" == "true" ]] ; then
-    # Many dists still do not pass tests under tb1.5 properly (and it itself
-    # does not even install on things like 5.10). Install the *stable-dev*
-    # latest T::B here, so that it will not show up as a dependency, and
-    # hence it will not get installed a second time as an unsatisfied dep
-    # under cpanm --dev
-    #
-    # We are also not "quite ready" for SQLA 1.99, do not consider it
-    #
-    installdeps 'Test::Builder~<1.005' 'SQL::Abstract~<1.99'
-
+  if [[ "$DEVREL_DEPS" = "true" ]] ; then
+    # nothing for now
+    /bin/true
   elif ! CPAN_is_sane ; then
     # no configure_requires - we will need the usual suspects anyway
-    # without pre-installing these in one pass things like extract_prereqs won't work
-    installdeps ExtUtils::MakeMaker ExtUtils::CBuilder Module::Build
-
+    # without pre-installing these in one pass things won't yet work
+    installdeps Module::Build
   fi
 
 else
   # we will be running all dbic tests - preinstall lots of stuff, run basic tests
-  # using SQLT and set up whatever databases necessary
-  export DBICTEST_SQLT_DEPLOY=1
-
-  # FIXME - need new TB1.5 devrel
-  # if we run under --dev install latest github of TB1.5 first
-  # (unreleased workaround for precedence warnings)
-  if [[ "$DEVREL_DEPS" == "true" ]] ; then
-    parallel_installdeps_notest git://github.com/nthykier/test-more.git@fix-return-precedence-issue
-  fi
 
   # do the preinstall in several passes to minimize amount of cross-deps installing
   # multiple times, and to avoid module re-architecture breaking another install
-  # (e.g. once Carp is upgraded there's no more Carp::Heavy,
-  # while a File::Path upgrade may cause a parallel EUMM run to fail)
+  # (e.g. once Carp is upgraded there's no more Carp::Heavy)
   #
-  parallel_installdeps_notest ExtUtils::MakeMaker
-  parallel_installdeps_notest File::Path
   parallel_installdeps_notest Carp
   parallel_installdeps_notest Module::Build
-  parallel_installdeps_notest File::Spec Data::Dumper Module::Runtime
-  parallel_installdeps_notest Test::Exception Encode::Locale Test::Fatal
+  parallel_installdeps_notest Test::Exception Encode::Locale Test::Fatal Module::Runtime
   parallel_installdeps_notest Test::Warn B::Hooks::EndOfScope Test::Differences HTTP::Status
   parallel_installdeps_notest Test::Pod::Coverage Test::EOL Devel::GlobalDestruction Sub::Name MRO::Compat Class::XSAccessor URI::Escape HTML::Entities
-  parallel_installdeps_notest YAML LWP Class::Trigger JSON::XS DateTime::Format::Builder Class::Accessor::Grouped Package::Variant
-  parallel_installdeps_notest 'SQL::Abstract~<1.99' Moose Module::Install JSON SQL::Translator File::Which
+  parallel_installdeps_notest YAML LWP Class::Trigger DateTime::Format::Builder Class::Accessor::Grouped Package::Variant
+  parallel_installdeps_notest SQL::Abstract Moose Module::Install@1.15 JSON SQL::Translator File::Which Class::DBI::Plugin git://github.com/dbsrgits/perl-pperl.git
 
-  if [[ -n "DBICTEST_FIREBIRD_INTERBASE_DSN" ]] ; then
-    # the official version is very much outdated and does not compile on 5.14+
-    # use this rather updated source tree (needs to go to PAUSE):
-    # https://github.com/pilcrow/perl-dbd-interbase
+  # the official version is very much outdated and does not compile on 5.14+
+  # use this rather updated source tree (needs to go to PAUSE):
+  # https://github.com/pilcrow/perl-dbd-interbase
+  if [[ -n "$DBICTEST_FIREBIRD_INTERBASE_DSN" ]] ; then
     parallel_installdeps_notest git://github.com/dbsrgits/perl-dbd-interbase.git
   fi
 
+  # SCGI does not install under < 5.8.8 perls nor under parallel make
+  # FIXME: The 5.8.8 thing is likely fixable, something to do with
+  # #define speedy_new(s,n,t) Newx(s,n,t)
+  if perl -M5.008008 -e 1 &>/dev/null ; then
+    MAKEFLAGS="" bash -c "parallel_installdeps_notest git://github.com/dbsrgits/cgi-speedycgi.git"
+  fi
 fi
 
-# generate the makefile which will have different deps depending on
-# the runmode and envvars set above
-run_or_err "Configure on current branch" "perl Makefile.PL"
 
 # install (remaining) dependencies, sometimes with a gentle push
 if [[ "$CLEANTEST" = "true" ]]; then
-  # we may need to prepend some stuff to that list
-  HARD_DEPS="$(echo $(make listdeps))"
-
-##### TEMPORARY WORKAROUNDS needed in case we will be using CPAN.pm
-  if [[ "$DEVREL_DEPS" != "true" ]] && ! CPAN_is_sane ; then
-    # combat dzillirium on harness-wide level, otherwise breakage happens weekly
-    echo_err "$(tstamp) Ancient CPAN.pm: engaging TAP::Harness::IgnoreNonessentialDzilAutogeneratedTests during dep install"
-    perl -MTAP::Harness\ 3.18 -e1 &>/dev/null || run_or_err "Upgrading TAP::Harness for HARNESS_SUBCLASS support" "cpan TAP::Harness"
-    export PERL5LIB="$(pwd)/maint/travis-ci_scripts/lib:$PERL5LIB"
-    export HARNESS_SUBCLASS="TAP::Harness::IgnoreNonessentialDzilAutogeneratedTests"
-    # sanity check, T::H does not report sensible errors when the subclass fails to load
-    perl -MTAP::Harness::IgnoreNonessentialDzilAutogeneratedTests -e1
-
-    # DBD::SQLite reasonably wants DBI at config time
-    perl -MDBI -e1 &>/dev/null || HARD_DEPS="DBI $HARD_DEPS"
-
-    # this is a fucked CPAN - won't understand configure_requires of
-    # various pieces we may run into
-    # FIXME - need to get these off metacpan or something instead
-    HARD_DEPS="ExtUtils::Depends B::Hooks::OP::Check $HARD_DEPS"
-
-    # FIXME
-    # parent is temporary due to Carp https://rt.cpan.org/Ticket/Display.html?id=88494
-    HARD_DEPS="parent $HARD_DEPS"
-
-    if CPAN_supports_BUILDPL ; then
-      # We will invoke a posibly MBT based BUILD-file, but we do not support
-      # configure requires. So we not only need to install MBT but its prereqs
-      # FIXME This is madness
-      HARD_DEPS="$(extract_prereqs Module::Build::Tiny) Module::Build::Tiny $HARD_DEPS"
-    else
-      # FIXME
-      # work around Params::Validate not having a Makefile.PL so really old
-      # toolchains can not figure out what the prereqs are ;(
-      # Need to do more research before filing a bug requesting Makefile inclusion
-      HARD_DEPS="$(extract_prereqs Params::Validate) $HARD_DEPS"
-    fi
-  fi
-##### END TEMPORARY WORKAROUNDS
 
-  installdeps $HARD_DEPS
+  run_or_err "Configure on current branch" "perl Makefile.PL"
+
+  # we are doing a devrel pass - try to upgrade *everything* (we will be using cpanm so safe-ish)
+  if [[ "$DEVREL_DEPS" == "true" ]] ; then
+
+    HARD_DEPS="$(make listalldeps | sort -R)"
+
+  else
+
+    HARD_DEPS="$(make listdeps | sort -R)"
+
+##### TEMPORARY WORKAROUNDS needed in case we will be using a fucked CPAN.pm
+    if ! CPAN_is_sane ; then
+
+      # DBD::SQLite reasonably wants DBI at config time
+      perl -MDBI -e1 &>/dev/null || HARD_DEPS="DBI $HARD_DEPS"
 
-### FIXME in case we set it earlier in a workaround
-  if [[ -n "$HARNESS_SUBCLASS" ]] ; then
-
-    INSTALLDEPS_SKIPPED_TESTLIST=$(perl -0777 -e '
-my $curmod_re = qr{
-^
-  (?:
-    \QBuilding and testing\E
-      |
-    [\x20\t]* CPAN\.pm: [^\n]*? (?i:build)\S*
-  )
-
-  [\x20\t]+ (\S+)
-$}mx;
-
-my $curskip_re = qr{^ === \x20 \QSkipping nonessential autogenerated tests: \E([^\n]+) }mx;
-
-my (undef, @chunks) = (split qr/$curmod_re/, <>);
-while (@chunks) {
-  my ($mod, $log) = splice @chunks, 0, 2;
-  print "!!! Skipped nonessential tests while installing $mod:\n\t$1\n"
-    if $log =~ $curskip_re;
-}
-' <<< "$LASTOUT")
-
-    if [[ -n "$INSTALLDEPS_SKIPPED_TESTLIST" ]] ; then
-      POSTMORTEM="$POSTMORTEM$(
-        echo
-        echo "The following non-essential tests were skipped during deps installation"
-        echo "============================================================="
-        echo "$INSTALLDEPS_SKIPPED_TESTLIST"
-        echo "============================================================="
-        echo
-      )"
     fi
 
-    unset HARNESS_SUBCLASS
+##### END TEMPORARY WORKAROUNDS
   fi
 
+  installdeps $HARD_DEPS
+
+  run_or_err "Re-configure" "perl Makefile.PL"
+
 else
 
-  # listalldeps is deliberate - will upgrade everything it can find
-  # we exclude SQLA specifically, since we do not want to pull
-  # in 1.99_xx on bleadcpan runs
-  deplist="$(make listalldeps | grep -vP '^(SQL::Abstract)$')"
+  run_or_err "Configure on current branch with --with-optdeps" "perl Makefile.PL --with-optdeps"
 
-  # assume MDV on POISON_ENV, do not touch DBI/SQLite
-  if [[ "$POISON_ENV" = "true" ]] ; then
-    deplist="$(grep -vP '^(DBI|DBD::SQLite)$' <<< "$deplist")"
+  # FIXME - evil evil work around for https://github.com/Manwar/Test-Strict/issues/17
+  if perl -M5.025 -e1 &>/dev/null; then
+    mkdir -p "$( perl -MConfig -e 'print $Config{sitelib}' )/Devel"
+    cat <<MyDevelCover > "$( perl -MConfig -e 'print $Config{sitelib}' )/Devel/Cover.pm"
+package Devel::Cover;
+our \$VERSION = 0.43;
+1;
+MyDevelCover
   fi
 
-  parallel_installdeps_notest "$deplist"
+  # if we are smoking devrels - make sure we upgrade everything we know about
+  if [[ "$DEVREL_DEPS" == "true" ]] ; then
+    parallel_installdeps_notest "$(make listalldeps | sort -R)"
+  else
+    parallel_installdeps_notest "$(make listdeps | sort -R)"
+  fi
+
+  run_or_err "Re-configure with --with-optdeps" "perl Makefile.PL --with-optdeps"
 fi
 
 echo_err "$(tstamp) Dependency installation finished"
-# this will display list of available versions
-perl Makefile.PL
 
 # make sure we got everything we need
 if [[ -n "$(make listdeps)" ]] ; then
@@ -244,36 +227,12 @@ if [[ -n "$(make listdeps)" ]] ; then
   exit 1
 fi
 
-# check that our MDV somewhat works
-if [[ "$POISON_ENV" = "true" ]] && ( perl -MDBD::SQLite\ 1.38 -e1 || perl -MDBI\ 1.615 -e1 ) &>/dev/null ; then
+# check that our MVDT somewhat works
+if [[ "$MVDT" == "true" ]] && ( perl -MDBD::SQLite\ 1.38 -e1 || perl -MDBI\ 1.615 -e1 ) &>/dev/null ; then
   echo_err "Something went wrong - higher versions of DBI and/or DBD::SQLite than we expected"
   exit 1
 fi
 
-
-# announce what are we running
 echo_err "
 ===================== DEPENDENCY CONFIGURATION COMPLETE =====================
-$(tstamp) Configuration phase seems to have taken $(date -ud "@$SECONDS" '+%H:%M:%S') (@$SECONDS)
-
-= CPUinfo
-$(perl -0777 -p -e 's/.+\n\n(?!\z)//s' < /proc/cpuinfo)
-
-= Meminfo
-$(free -m -t)
-
-= Kernel info
-$(uname -a)
-
-= Network Configuration
-$(ip addr)
-
-= Network Sockets Status
-$(sudo netstat -an46p | grep -Pv '\s(CLOSING|(FIN|TIME|CLOSE)_WAIT.?|LAST_ACK)\s')
-
-= Environment
-$(env | grep -P 'TEST|HARNESS|MAKE|TRAVIS|PERL|DBIC' | LC_ALL=C sort | cat -v)
-
-= Perl in use
-$(perl -V)
-============================================================================="
+$(tstamp) Configuration phase seems to have taken $(date -ud "@$SECONDS" '+%H:%M:%S') (@$SECONDS)"
diff --git a/maint/travis-ci_scripts/40_script.bash b/maint/travis-ci_scripts/40_script.bash
index 8cb9048..7887684 100755
--- a/maint/travis-ci_scripts/40_script.bash
+++ b/maint/travis-ci_scripts/40_script.bash
@@ -1,10 +1,21 @@
 #!/bin/bash
 
+# this file is executed in a subshell - set up the common stuff
 source maint/travis-ci_scripts/common.bash
-if [[ -n "$SHORT_CIRCUIT_SMOKE" ]] ; then return ; fi
+
+if [[ -n "$SHORT_CIRCUIT_SMOKE" ]] ; then exit 0 ; fi
 
 run_harness_tests() {
-  local -x HARNESS_OPTIONS=c:j$NUMTHREADS
+  local -x HARNESS_OPTIONS=c:j$VCPU_USE
+  # if we run under docker (! have_sudo) the logic below won't work
+  # it seems as if ulimit acts globally, across the entire OS
+  # and is thus not served properly by a localised `ps xH`
+  if [[ "$VCPU_USE" == 1 ]] && have_sudo ; then
+    ulim=$(( ( $(ps xH | wc -l) - 3 ) + 4 )) # (real count excluding header + ps + wc) + space for ( make + tee + harness + <actual test> )
+    echo_err "$(tstamp) Setting process/thread limit to $ulim"
+    ulimit -u $ulim
+    sleep 5 # needed to settle things down a bit
+  fi
   make test 2> >(tee "$TEST_STDERR_LOG")
 }
 
@@ -14,11 +25,11 @@ if [[ "$CLEANTEST" = "true" ]] ; then
   run_or_err "Prepare blib" "make pure_all"
   run_harness_tests
 else
-  PROVECMD="prove -lrswj$NUMTHREADS xt t"
+  PROVECMD="prove -lrswTj$VCPU_USE xt t"
 
-  # FIXME - temporary, until Package::Stash is fixed
-  if perl -M5.010 -e 1 &>/dev/null ; then
-    PROVECMD="$PROVECMD -T"
+  # List every single SKIP/TODO when they are visible
+  if [[ "$VCPU_USE" == 1 ]] ; then
+    PROVECMD="$PROVECMD --directives"
   fi
 
   echo_err "$(tstamp) running tests with \`$PROVECMD\`"
@@ -26,7 +37,12 @@ else
 fi
 TEST_T1=$SECONDS
 
-if [[ -z "$DBICTRACE" ]] && [[ -z "$POISON_ENV" ]] && [[ -s "$TEST_STDERR_LOG" ]] ; then
+if \
+   [[ -z "$DBIC_TRACE" ]] \
+&& [[ -z "$DBIC_MULTICREATE_DEBUG" ]] \
+&& [[ -z "$DBICTEST_DEBUG_CONCURRENCY_LOCKS" ]] \
+&& [[ -z "$DBICTEST_VERSION_WARNS_INDISCRIMINATELY" ]] \
+&& [[ -s "$TEST_STDERR_LOG" ]] ; then
   STDERR_LOG_SIZE=$(wc -l < "$TEST_STDERR_LOG")
 
   # prepend STDERR log
@@ -47,6 +63,6 @@ echo "${POSTMORTEM:- \o/ No notable smoke run issues \o/ }"
 echo
 echo "$(tstamp) Testing took a total of $(( $TEST_T1 - $TEST_T0 ))s"
 if [[ -n "$INSTALLDEPS_OUT" ]] ; then
-  echo "$(tstamp) Full dep install log at $(/usr/bin/nopaste -q -s Shadowcat -d DepInstall <<< "$INSTALLDEPS_OUT")"
+  echo "$(tstamp) Full dep install log at $(/usr/bin/perl /usr/bin/nopaste -q -s Shadowcat -d DepInstall <<< "$INSTALLDEPS_OUT")"
 fi
 echo
diff --git a/maint/travis-ci_scripts/50_after_failure.bash b/maint/travis-ci_scripts/50_after_failure.bash
index 4935763..ba92421 100755
--- a/maint/travis-ci_scripts/50_after_failure.bash
+++ b/maint/travis-ci_scripts/50_after_failure.bash
@@ -1,11 +1,11 @@
 #!/bin/bash
 
-# !!! Nothing here will be executed !!!
-# The source-line calling this script is commented out in .travis.yml
-
+# this file is executed in a subshell - set up the common stuff
 source maint/travis-ci_scripts/common.bash
-if [[ -n "$SHORT_CIRCUIT_SMOKE" ]] ; then return ; fi
 
-echo_err "Nothing to do"
+if [[ -n "$SHORT_CIRCUIT_SMOKE" ]] ; then exit 0 ; fi
 
-return 0
+if [[ "$(dmesg)" =~ $( echo "\\bOOM\\b" ) ]] ; then
+  echo_err "=== dmesg ringbuffer"
+  echo_err "$(dmesg)"
+fi
diff --git a/maint/travis-ci_scripts/50_after_success.bash b/maint/travis-ci_scripts/50_after_success.bash
index c8d2bac..102291d 100755
--- a/maint/travis-ci_scripts/50_after_success.bash
+++ b/maint/travis-ci_scripts/50_after_success.bash
@@ -1,15 +1,11 @@
 #!/bin/bash
 
+# !!! Nothing here will be executed !!!
+# The line calling this script is commented out in .travis.yml
+
+# this file is executed in a subshell - set up the common stuff
 source maint/travis-ci_scripts/common.bash
-if [[ -n "$SHORT_CIRCUIT_SMOKE" ]] ; then return ; fi
-
-if [[ "$CLEANTEST" != "true" ]] ; then
-  parallel_installdeps_notest $(perl -Ilib -MDBIx::Class -e 'print join " ", keys %{DBIx::Class::Optional::Dependencies->req_list_for("dist_dir")}')
-  run_or_err "Attempt to build a dist with all prereqs present" "make dist"
-  echo "Contents of the resulting dist tarball:"
-  echo "==========================================="
-  tar -vzxf DBIx-Class-*.tar.gz
-  echo "==========================================="
-  run_or_err 'Attempt to configure from re-extracted distdir' \
-    'bash -c "cd \$(find DBIx-Class-* -maxdepth 0 -type d | head -n 1) && perl Makefile.PL"'
-fi
+
+if [[ -n "$SHORT_CIRCUIT_SMOKE" ]] ; then exit 0 ; fi
+
+echo_err "Nothing to do"
diff --git a/maint/travis-ci_scripts/60_after_script.bash b/maint/travis-ci_scripts/60_after_script.bash
index 4935763..102291d 100755
--- a/maint/travis-ci_scripts/60_after_script.bash
+++ b/maint/travis-ci_scripts/60_after_script.bash
@@ -1,11 +1,11 @@
 #!/bin/bash
 
 # !!! Nothing here will be executed !!!
-# The source-line calling this script is commented out in .travis.yml
+# The line calling this script is commented out in .travis.yml
 
+# this file is executed in a subshell - set up the common stuff
 source maint/travis-ci_scripts/common.bash
-if [[ -n "$SHORT_CIRCUIT_SMOKE" ]] ; then return ; fi
 
-echo_err "Nothing to do"
+if [[ -n "$SHORT_CIRCUIT_SMOKE" ]] ; then exit 0 ; fi
 
-return 0
+echo_err "Nothing to do"
diff --git a/maint/travis-ci_scripts/common.bash b/maint/travis-ci_scripts/common.bash
index 7df71d1..07c6e70 100755
--- a/maint/travis-ci_scripts/common.bash
+++ b/maint/travis-ci_scripts/common.bash
@@ -1,9 +1,10 @@
 #!/bin/bash
 
+# "autodie"
 set -e
 
 TEST_STDERR_LOG=/tmp/dbictest.stderr
-TIMEOUT_CMD="/usr/bin/timeout --kill-after=9.5m --signal=TERM 9m"
+TIMEOUT_CMD="/usr/bin/timeout --kill-after=16m --signal=TERM 15m"
 
 echo_err() { echo "$@" 1>&2 ; }
 
@@ -14,22 +15,79 @@ fi
 
 tstamp() { echo -n "[$(date '+%H:%M:%S')]" ; }
 
+CPAN_is_sane() { perl -MCPAN\ 1.94_56 -e 1 &>/dev/null ; }
+
+CPAN_supports_BUILDPL() { perl -MCPAN\ 1.9205 -e1 &>/dev/null; }
+
+have_sudo() { sudo /bin/true &>/dev/null ; }
+
+is_cperl() { [[ "$BREWVER" =~ $( echo -n "^cperl-" ) ]] ; }
+
+ci_vm_state_text() {
+  echo "
+========================== CI System information ============================
+
+= CPUinfo
+$(perl -0777 -p -e 's/.+\n\n(?!\z)//s' < /proc/cpuinfo)
+
+= Meminfo
+$(free -m -t)
+
+= Diskinfo
+$(df -h)
+
+$(mount | grep '^/')
+
+= Kernel info
+$(uname -a)
+
+= Network Configuration
+$(ip addr)
+
+= Network Sockets Status
+$( (sudo netstat -an46p || netstat -an46p) | grep -Pv '\s(CLOSING|(FIN|TIME|CLOSE)_WAIT.?|LAST_ACK)\s')
+
+= Processlist
+$(ps fuxa)
+
+= Environment
+$(env | grep -P 'TEST|HARNESS|MAKE|TRAVIS|PERL|DBIC|PATH|SHELL' | LC_ALL=C sort | cat -v)
+
+= Perl in use
+$(perl -V)
+============================================================================="
+}
+
 run_or_err() {
   echo_err -n "$(tstamp) $1 ... "
 
+  LASTCMD="$2"
   LASTEXIT=0
   START_TIME=$SECONDS
-  # the tee is a handy debugging tool when stumpage is exceedingly strong
-  #LASTOUT=$( bash -c "$2" 2>&1 | tee /dev/stderr) || LASTEXIT=$?
-  LASTOUT=$( bash -c "$2" 2>&1 ) || LASTEXIT=$?
+
+  PRMETER_PIDFILE="$(tempfile)_$SECONDS"
+  # the double bash is to hide the job control messages
+  bash -c "bash -c 'echo \$\$ >> $PRMETER_PIDFILE; while true; do sleep 10; echo -n \"\${SECONDS}s ... \"; done' &"
+
+  LASTOUT=$( eval "$2" 2>&1 ) || LASTEXIT=$?
+
+  # stop progress meter
+  for p in $(cat "$PRMETER_PIDFILE"); do kill $p ; done
+
   DELTA_TIME=$(( $SECONDS - $START_TIME ))
 
   if [[ "$LASTEXIT" != "0" ]] ; then
-    echo_err "FAILED !!! (after ${DELTA_TIME}s)"
-    echo_err "Command executed:"
-    echo_err "$2"
-    echo_err "STDOUT+STDERR:"
-    echo_err "$LASTOUT"
+    if [[ -z "$3" ]] ; then
+      echo_err "FAILED !!! (after ${DELTA_TIME}s)"
+      echo_err "Command executed:"
+      echo_err "$LASTCMD"
+      echo_err "STDOUT+STDERR:"
+      echo_err "$LASTOUT"
+      if [[ "$(dmesg)" =~ $( echo "\\bOOM\\b" ) ]] ; then
+        echo_err "=== dmesg ringbuffer"
+        echo_err "$(dmesg)"
+      fi
+    fi
 
     return $LASTEXIT
   else
@@ -41,10 +99,7 @@ apt_install() {
   # flatten
   pkgs="$@"
 
-  # Need to do this at every step, the sources list may very well have changed
-  run_or_err "Updating APT available package list" "sudo apt-get update"
-
-  run_or_err "Installing Debian APT packages: $pkgs" "sudo apt-get install --allow-unauthenticated  --no-install-recommends -y $pkgs"
+  run_or_err "Installing APT packages: $pkgs" "sudo apt-get install --allow-unauthenticated  --no-install-recommends -y $pkgs"
 }
 
 extract_prereqs() {
@@ -58,7 +113,7 @@ extract_prereqs() {
     || LASTEXIT=$?
 
   OUT=${COMBINED_OUT#*!!!STDERRSTDOUTSEPARATOR!!!}
-  ERR=$(grep -v " is up to date." <<< "${COMBINED_OUT%!!!STDERRSTDOUTSEPARATOR!!!*}")
+  ERR=${COMBINED_OUT%!!!STDERRSTDOUTSEPARATOR!!!*}
 
   if [[ "$LASTEXIT" != "0" ]] ; then
     echo_err "Error occured (exit code $LASTEXIT) retrieving dependencies of $@:"
@@ -67,8 +122,14 @@ extract_prereqs() {
     exit 1
   fi
 
-  # throw away warnings, ascii art, convert to modnames
-  PQ=$(perl -p -e 's/^\!.*//; s/^[^a-z]+//i; s/\-[^\-]+$/ /; s/\-/::/g' <<< "$OUT")
+  # throw away warnings, up-to-date diag, ascii art, convert to modnames
+  PQ=$(perl -p -e '
+    s/^.*?is up to date.*$//;
+    s/^\!.*//;
+    s/^[^a-z]+//i;
+    s/\-[^\-]+$/ /; # strip version part
+    s/\-/::/g
+  ' <<< "$OUT")
 
   # throw away what was in $@
   for m in "$@" ; do
@@ -82,8 +143,10 @@ extract_prereqs() {
 parallel_installdeps_notest() {
   if [[ -z "$@" ]] ; then return; fi
 
+  is_cperl && echo_err "cpanminus is not yet usable on cperl" && exit 1
+
   # one module spec per line
-  MODLIST="$(printf '%s\n' "$@")"
+  MODLIST="$(printf '%s\n' "$@" | sort -R)"
 
   # We want to trap the output of each process and serially append them to
   # each other as opposed to just dumping a jumbled up mass-log that would
@@ -106,55 +169,34 @@ parallel_installdeps_notest() {
   run_or_err "Installing (without testing) $(echo $MODLIST)" \
     "echo \\
 \"$MODLIST\" \\
-      | xargs -d '\\n' -n 1 -P $NUMTHREADS bash -c \\
-        'OUT=\$($TIMEOUT_CMD cpanm --notest \"\$@\" 2>&1 ) || (LASTEXIT=\$?; echo \"\$OUT\"; exit \$LASTEXIT)' \\
+      | xargs -d '\\n' -n 1 -P $VCPU_USE bash -c \\
+        'OUT=\$(maint/getstatus $TIMEOUT_CMD cpanm --notest \"\$@\" 2>&1 ) || (LASTEXIT=\$?; echo \"\$OUT\"; exit \$LASTEXIT)' \\
         'giant space monkey penises'
     "
 }
 
+export -f parallel_installdeps_notest run_or_err echo_err tstamp is_cperl have_sudo CPAN_is_sane CPAN_supports_BUILDPL
+
 installdeps() {
   if [[ -z "$@" ]] ; then return; fi
 
-  echo_err "$(tstamp) Processing dependencies: $@"
+  MODLIST=$(printf "%q " "$@" | perl -pe 's/^\s+|\s+$//g')
 
   local -x HARNESS_OPTIONS
 
-  HARNESS_OPTIONS="j$NUMTHREADS"
+  HARNESS_OPTIONS="j$VCPU_USE"
 
-  echo_err -n "Attempting install of $# modules under parallel ($HARNESS_OPTIONS) testing ... "
+  if ! run_or_err "Attempting install of $# modules under parallel ($HARNESS_OPTIONS) testing ($MODLIST)" "_dep_inst_with_test $MODLIST" quiet_fail ; then
+    local errlog="failed after ${DELTA_TIME}s Exit:$LASTEXIT Log:$(/usr/bin/perl /usr/bin/nopaste -q -s Shadowcat -d "Parallel testfail" <<< "$LASTOUT")"
+    echo "$errlog"
 
-  LASTEXIT=0
-  START_TIME=$SECONDS
-  LASTOUT=$( _dep_inst_with_test "$@" ) || LASTEXIT=$?
-  DELTA_TIME=$(( $SECONDS - $START_TIME ))
-
-  if [[ "$LASTEXIT" = "0" ]] ; then
-    echo_err "done (took ${DELTA_TIME}s)"
-  else
-    local errlog="after ${DELTA_TIME}s Exit:$LASTEXIT Log:$(/usr/bin/nopaste -q -s Shadowcat -d "Parallel testfail" <<< "$LASTOUT")"
-    echo_err -n "failed ($errlog) retrying with sequential testing ... "
     POSTMORTEM="$POSTMORTEM$(
       echo
-      echo "Depinstall under $HARNESS_OPTIONS parallel testing failed $errlog"
-      echo "============================================================="
-      echo "Attempted installation of: $@"
-      echo "============================================================="
+      echo "Depinstall of $MODLIST under $HARNESS_OPTIONS parallel testing $errlog"
     )"
 
     HARNESS_OPTIONS=""
-    LASTEXIT=0
-    START_TIME=$SECONDS
-    LASTOUT=$( _dep_inst_with_test "$@" ) || LASTEXIT=$?
-    DELTA_TIME=$(( $SECONDS - $START_TIME ))
-
-    if [[ "$LASTEXIT" = "0" ]] ; then
-      echo_err "done (took ${DELTA_TIME}s)"
-    else
-      echo_err "FAILED !!! (after ${DELTA_TIME}s)"
-      echo_err "STDOUT+STDERR:"
-      echo_err "$LASTOUT"
-      exit 1
-    fi
+    run_or_err "Retrying same $# modules without parallel testing" "_dep_inst_with_test $MODLIST"
   fi
 
   INSTALLDEPS_OUT="${INSTALLDEPS_OUT}${LASTOUT}"
@@ -162,24 +204,64 @@ installdeps() {
 
 _dep_inst_with_test() {
   if [[ "$DEVREL_DEPS" == "true" ]] ; then
+    is_cperl && echo_err "cpanminus is not yet usable on cperl" && exit 1
+
     # --dev is already part of CPANM_OPT
-    $TIMEOUT_CMD cpanm "$@" 2>&1
+    LASTCMD="$TIMEOUT_CMD cpanm $@"
+    $LASTCMD 2>&1 || return 1
   else
-    $TIMEOUT_CMD cpan "$@" 2>&1
+    LASTCMD="$TIMEOUT_CMD cpan $@"
+    $LASTCMD 2>&1 || return 1
 
     # older perls do not have a CPAN which can exit with error on failed install
     for m in "$@"; do
       if ! perl -e '
 
+$ARGV[0] =~ s/-TRIAL\.//;
+
 my $mod = (
-  $ARGV[0] =~ m{ \/ .*? ([^\/]+) $ }x
+  # abuse backtrack
+  $ARGV[0] =~ m{ / .*? ( [^/]+ ) $ }x
     ? do { my @p = split (/\-/, $1); pop @p; join "::", @p }
     : $ARGV[0]
 );
 
-$mod = q{List::Util} if $mod eq q{Scalar::List::Utils};
+# map some install-names to a module/version combo
+# serves both as a grandfathered title-less tarball, and
+# as a minimum version check for upgraded core modules
+my $eval_map = {
 
-eval qq{require($mod)} or ( print $@ and exit 1)
+  # this is temporary, will need something more robust down the road
+  # (perhaps by then Module::CoreList will be dep-free)
+  "Module::Build" => { ver => "0.4214" },
+  "podlators" => { mod => "Pod::Man", ver => "2.17" },
+
+  "File::Spec" => { ver => "3.47" },
+  "Cwd" => { ver => "3.47" },
+
+  "List::Util" => { ver => "1.42" },
+  "Scalar::Util" => { ver => "1.42" },
+  "Scalar::List::Utils" => { mod => "List::Util", ver => "1.42" },
+};
+
+my $m = $eval_map->{$mod}{mod} || $mod;
+
+eval(
+  "require $m"
+
+  .
+
+  ($eval_map->{$mod}{ver}
+    ? "; $m->VERSION(\$eval_map->{\$mod}{ver}) "
+    : ""
+  )
+
+  .
+
+  "; 1"
+)
+  or
+( print $@ and exit 1)
 
       ' "$m" 2> /dev/null ; then
         echo -e "$m installation seems to have failed"
@@ -189,6 +271,23 @@ eval qq{require($mod)} or ( print $@ and exit 1)
   fi
 }
 
-CPAN_is_sane() { perl -MCPAN\ 1.94_56 -e 1 &>/dev/null ; }
-
-CPAN_supports_BUILDPL() { perl -MCPAN\ 1.9205 -e1 &>/dev/null; }
+# Idea stolen from
+# https://github.com/kentfredric/Dist-Zilla-Plugin-Prereqs-MatchInstalled-All/blob/master/maint-travis-ci/sterilize_env.pl
+# Only works on 5.12+ (where sitelib was finally properly fixed)
+purge_sitelib() {
+  echo_err "$(tstamp) Sterilizing the Perl installation (cleaning up sitelib)"
+
+  if perl -M5.012 -e1 &>/dev/null ; then
+
+    perl -M5.012 -MConfig -MFile::Find -e '
+      my $sitedirs = {
+        map { $Config{$_} => 1 }
+          grep { $_ =~ /site(lib|arch)exp$/ }
+            keys %Config
+      };
+      find({ bydepth => 1, no_chdir => 1, follow_fast => 1, wanted => sub {
+        ! $sitedirs->{$_} and ( -d _ ? rmdir : unlink )
+      } }, keys %$sitedirs )
+    '
+  fi
+}
diff --git a/maint/travis-ci_scripts/configs/minimal_mysql_travis.cnf b/maint/travis-ci_scripts/configs/minimal_mysql_travis.cnf
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..7fcfa8e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/maint/travis-ci_scripts/configs/minimal_mysql_travis.cnf
@@ -0,0 +1,44 @@
+[mysqld]
+
+max_connections = 10
+
+thread_cache_size = 0
+thread_stack = 128K
+
+# mysql >= 5.5.16
+#thread_pool_size = 1
+
+net_buffer_length = 4K
+read_buffer_size = 32K
+join_buffer_size = 128K
+sort_buffer_size = 128K
+bulk_insert_buffer_size = 0
+
+table_definition_cache = 256
+performance_schema = 0
+
+query_cache_type = 0
+query_cache_size = 0
+query_cache_limit = 16K
+
+myisam_sort_buffer_size = 16K
+tmp_table_size = 1M
+key_buffer_size = 64K
+
+innodb_data_file_path           = ibdata1:10M:autoextend
+innodb_autoextend_increment     = 1
+innodb_buffer_pool_size         = 512K
+
+innodb_stats_on_metadata        = 0
+innodb_file_per_table           = 0
+
+innodb_log_file_size            = 1M
+innodb_log_buffer_size          = 512K
+innodb_buffer_pool_size         = 512K
+
+innodb_use_sys_malloc           = 0
+innodb_additional_mem_pool_size = 256K
+innodb_flush_method             = O_DIRECT
+
+innodb_read_io_threads          = 1
+innodb_write_io_threads         = 1
diff --git a/maint/travis-ci_scripts/lib/TAP/Harness/IgnoreNonessentialDzilAutogeneratedTests.pm b/maint/travis-ci_scripts/lib/TAP/Harness/IgnoreNonessentialDzilAutogeneratedTests.pm
deleted file mode 100644
index 7f01716..0000000
--- a/maint/travis-ci_scripts/lib/TAP/Harness/IgnoreNonessentialDzilAutogeneratedTests.pm
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,93 +0,0 @@
-package TAP::Harness::IgnoreNonessentialDzilAutogeneratedTests;
-
-use warnings;
-use strict;
-
-use base 'TAP::Harness';
-use File::Spec ();
-use IPC::Open3 'open3';
-use File::Temp ();
-use List::Util 'first';
-
-my $frivolous_test_map = {
-# Test based on the extremely dep-heavy, *prone to failures* Test::CheckDeps
-#
-  qr|^t/00-check-deps.t$| => [
-    qr|^\Q# this test was generated with Dist::Zilla::Plugin::Test::CheckDeps|m,
-
-    # older non-annotated versions
-    qr|use \s+ Test::CheckDeps .*? ^\Qcheck_dependencies('suggests')\E .*? \QBAIL_OUT("Missing dependencies") if !Test::More->builder->is_passing|smx,
-  ],
-
-# "does everything compile" tests are useless by definition - this is what the
-# rest of the test suite is for
-#
-  qr|^t/00-compile.t$| => [
-    qr|^\Q# this test was generated with Dist::Zilla::Plugin::Test::Compile|m,
-  ],
-
-# The report prereq test managed to become fatal as well
-#
-  qr|^t/00-report-prereqs.t$| => [
-    qr|^\Q# This test was generated by Dist::Zilla::Plugin::Test::ReportPrereqs|m,
-  ],
-
-# Just future-proof the thing, catch anything autogened by dzil for a bit
-  qr|^t/00-| => [
-    qr|^\Q# This test was generated by Dist::Zilla::|m,
-  ]
-};
-
-sub aggregate_tests {
-  my ($self, $aggregate, @all_tests) = @_;
-
-  my ($run_tests, $skip_tests);
-
-  TESTFILE:
-  for (@all_tests) {
-    my $fn = File::Spec::Unix->catpath( File::Spec->splitpath( $_ ) );
-
-    if (my $REs = $frivolous_test_map->{
-      (first { $fn =~ $_ } keys %$frivolous_test_map ) || ''
-    }) {
-      my $slurptest = do { local (@ARGV, $/) = $fn; <> };
-      $slurptest =~ $_ and push @$skip_tests, $fn and next TESTFILE for @$REs;
-    }
-
-    push @$run_tests, $fn;
-  }
-
-  if ($skip_tests) {
-
-    for my $tfn (@$skip_tests) {
-
-      (my $tfn_flattened = $tfn) =~ s|/|_|g;
-
-      my $log_file = File::Temp->new(
-        DIR => '/tmp',
-        TEMPLATE => "AutoGenTest_${tfn_flattened}_XXXXX",
-        SUFFIX => '.txt',
-      );
-
-      # FIXME I have no idea why the fileno dance is necessary - will investigate later
-      # All I know is that if I pass in just $log_file - open3 ignores it >:(
-      my $pid = open3(undef, '>&'.fileno($log_file), undef, $^X, qw(-I blib -I arch/lib), $tfn );
-      waitpid ($pid, 0);
-      my $ex = $?;
-
-      if ($ex) {
-        # use qx as opposed to another open3 until I figure out the above
-        close $log_file or die "Unable to close $log_file: $!";
-        chomp( my $url = `/usr/bin/nopaste -q -s Shadowcat -d $log_file < $log_file` );
-
-        $tfn .= "[would NOT have passed: $ex / $url]";
-      }
-    }
-
-    print STDERR "=== Skipping nonessential autogenerated tests: @$skip_tests\n";
-  }
-
-  return $self->SUPER::aggregate_tests($aggregate, @$run_tests);
-}
-
-1;
diff --git a/t/storage/quote_names.t b/t/storage/quote_names.t
index 6492f25..1880e0e 100644
--- a/t/storage/quote_names.t
+++ b/t/storage/quote_names.t
@@ -128,7 +128,11 @@ for my $db (sort {
     "$db name_sep with quote_names => 1 is $name_sep_text";
 
   # if something was produced - it better be quoted
-  if ( my $ddl = try { $schema->deployment_statements } ) {
+  if (
+    ! grep { $db eq $_ } qw( SYBASE DB2 )
+      and
+    my $ddl = try { $schema->deployment_statements }
+  ) {
 
     my $quoted_artist = $schema->storage->sql_maker->_quote('artist');