This patch was reviewed with Larry Wall via IRC. His stipulation was
that both historical glossses be preserved to humorous effect.
=head1 NAME
-perl - Practical Extraction and Report Language
+perl - The Perl language interpreter
=head1 SYNOPSIS
=head1 DESCRIPTION
+Perl officially stands for Practical Extraction and Report Language,
+except when it doesn't.
+
Perl is a language optimized for scanning arbitrary
text files, extracting information from those text files, and printing
reports based on that information. It's also a good language for many