1 "Shit is necessary in today's cut-throat business society. Without shit, there
2 would be no relief for frustrated, coprophile businessmen."
3 - Dany responding to somebody saying "ARUUUUUGH I HATE SHIT!"
5 "It doesn't matter what your IQ is if you only use one point at a time"
6 - arachne to a luser in #uk_goffs
8 Bring me my etherkiller; Oh clouds unfold! / Bring me the magic smoke of desire
9 I shall not cease from mental fight / Nor shall my LART rest in my hand
10 Till we have buried the bodies / Of all the lusers in all this land
13 I'll have to try and get an item written into the DR plan specifying a
14 run to Krispy Kreme for sysadmin fuel, since it'd no doubt be a long
18 Plausible Deniability - a wonderful productivity tool.
21 ``Here, sanity ... niiiiiice sanity, come to daddy ... okay, that's a
22 good sanity ... {*THWONK!*} _Got_ the bastard.''
25 "[The crap lusers install on windows slows it down, but] it's generally the
26 lousy, third party, how-cheap-can-we-make-this-commodity-product drivers that
27 fuck it up the arse with a badger."
28 - hythloday in #uk_goffs
30 "She bored me rigid - but not often enough"
31 - my father, on why he divorced his first wife
33 "You're trying to trick me into being intelligent. It won't work."
34 - dpm in asr, in reply to me trying to convince him to 'use strict;'
36 How to spot if a luser is lying to you: Their lips move
37 When to believe a luser: Never
38 How to spot fucked-up software: Open eyes, focus on software
39 - Dan Holdsworth in asr (paraphrased)
41 s/all-the-fucking-way'round/around until his truck's ass-end lead his
42 truck, much as his ass was doing all the driving from the inside./
43 - Randy the Random improving on Gibson Hand in asr
45 "Stop your foul whining, you filthy piece of distended rectum"
46 - Arnold J Rimmer, to himself
48 "MS ERP products are almost certainly a good replacement for PeopleSoft given
49 the main strength of both seems to be serving 500 errors"
50 - (paraphrased from slashdot)
52 ATC: Airliner 123, turn right 20 degrees for noise abatement.
53 A123: Noise abatement? We are at FL310.
54 ATC: Do you know how much noise it makes when two 737s collide?
55 A123: Airliner 123 is turning right 20 degrees.
57 Do *not* go without sleep for this long:
58 <Snoof> uee'hee/7'm'']]
60 <Snoof> ki'm going to finish this and then go sle
62 "Looting Before Wenching". One should, at all times, keep one's
63 priorities in order. First, profit. Once profit is taken care of,
64 proceed to recreation (or, indeed, procreation).
67 Sigmonster is away. please leave cookies after the beep. *BEEP*
69 "I get along really well with people, I just choose not to a whole lot of
73 "You could pop up a box that said 'Click here to be hit over the head with a
74 salmon' with an 'Ok' button and at least half of the people that it was
75 presented to would quickly click on 'Ok'."
76 - David Gersic, in ASR
78 "What, you don't have an auto-aiming mangonel set up at the far end of the
79 office? <click> ... *WHOOSH* ... *WHAP!*"
80 - geminii, automating salmon-to-luser-skull delivery in ASR
82 "Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder" (correcting transcription
83 "The penis mightier than the sword" errors in common quotes
84 "I came, I saw, she conquered" since 1983)
86 >When life gives you lemons...
87 Make lemonade and find someone that life gave vodka?
88 - Jim Richardson and Randy the Random in ASR
90 I'm not a goth, I just can't afford the colour license
94 The Internet is totally out of control, impossible to map accurately, and
95 being used far beyond its original intentions. So far, so good.
96 - Dr. Dobb's Journal, May 1993
98 Perl's a language. She starts up/when she serves the pages in the server
99 Perl's a language, she serves pages/for the lost and the lonely
100 her job is entertaining geeks/serving warez and sex techniques/in the server
103 Logan Shaw's Zen of ASR Computing: free yourself of the desire to have
104 computers work properly for this is the root of all suffering.
106 "Once one has achieved full endarkenment, one is happy to have an entirely
107 nonfunctional computer" - Steve VanDevender, ASR
109 "Marketing are the people who hold the customers down while Sales screws them"
110 - Phil Launchbury, ASR
112 "I once had a company give me a pager without any further instructions.
113 It was kept on my desk, since that would ensure that it'd be with me
117 template<>basic_constreambuf<char>::char_type * (*const basic_constreambuf
118 <char>::copy_func)(char_type *, char_type const *, size_t len)=reinterpret_cast
119 <basic_constreambuf<char>::char_type *(* const)(char_type *, char_type const *,
120 size_t)>(memcpy); // why C++ers don't golf
122 Two strings walk into a bar.
123 The first string says "Hello, I'd like a rum and cokerhe795542kjn.,.43>>[][]?4"
124 The second string says "Excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated"
125 (paraphrased from bash.org quote 469064)
127 "I love the word 'ginormous'. I've only heard it spoken before. :)
128 'gino' should be the keyword for declaring 64-bit integers in C."
129 - ofer nave on the cdbi-talk mailing list
131 "Did I mention that my nose is on fire, and I have fifteen wild badgers
132 living in my trousers?"
133 - Marcus Cole, Babylon 5
135 "Everybody knows that the dice are loaded. Everybody rolls with their
136 fingers crossed. Everybody knows the war is over. Everybody knows the
140 Brick text, what a bitch
141 Adhere to the haiku spec
142 While the clock mocks me
145 "I want to give Tony Blair a caramel enema"
148 < chazter> batmop, hug
149 * batmop SMASHES chazter's FUCKING FACE IN WITH A BRICK!
150 - why batmop isn't as cuddly as he looks, #uk_goffs
152 < creighton> why do I find brick love disturbing?
153 < arachne> because you are an uneducated heathen who doesn't understand
154 < little_black_cat> a brick to the poon is a bit harsh for a newbie though
155 < arachne> it's the best way to learn
157 "I have finally persuaded Candy that I actually DON'T need her to come round
158 here and 'encourage' me to work - mostly by screaming 'if you dont fuck off
159 right now I'll stab you with this awl'"
160 - Ems, irc.fyrestorm.co.uk #chat
162 "... the Adobe Reader can suck the rind off of a watermelon at fifty meters."
163 - solios commenting on jwz's LJ
165 "irc.perl.org#catalyst: home of the apocalyptic two wheeled scooter riders!"
166 - sri wields /topic once again
168 /* 1 if by land, 2 if by sea, 0 if out of memory. not allowed to barf. */
170 "You can't beat the video camera hooked up to a lava lamp as a proper source
171 of random numbers ... in fact, I'm fairly sure I have a program for my Indy
172 intended to do that somewhere"
173 - paraphrased from lis0r in #uk_goffs
175 "Using Windows in place of a real operating system is like bringing a
176 knife out to a tactical nuclear exchange." - James Riden in ASR
177 "s/knife/fish/ but otherwise, yeah." - Jim's reply
179 "Overflow on datatype 'unsigned long' while indexing 'Windows Shit List'"
181 "So *that's* what the 64-bit version is for!"
182 - James Riden's reply
184 'My attempts at saving seem to be punctuated with elementary errors along the
185 lines of, "Let's buy this P4" or "Let's buy this car, it's black"...'
186 - Timberwolf in #uk_goffs
188 "Might I suggest playing a little game? It's called 'Michigan Roulette', and
189 you take a live grenade, shove it up your ass, pull the pin, and then make
190 bets as to how few people will miss you when you become a fine red mist."
191 - sclerotic_rings venting on LJ
193 "If anyone's looking for AJR, he's up there on the hilltop, wearing
194 copper armour in a thunderstorm, screaming 'All MTAs Suck!'" - AdB
195 "They told me it would function as a Faraday cage." - AJR
197 "Do me a favour? Find out who the lead devs on postgres are. Find out where
198 they live. Then buy me a shotgun, some shell casings, and a LOT of rock salt."
199 - Snoof venting on IRC
201 "Too many programmers code error messages as if their pay will be
202 retroactively docked every time a user figures out what the problem is."
205 I AM LIST POPPER. IF SEEING ME, CALL IT SPORT
207 "HTTP really means, 'hentai text transfer protocol'"
210 "Drugs may go in and out of fashion but they rarely go out of use."
213 "Bleach in the gene pool. It's the only way."
214 - paraphrased from Will Hawkins
216 There are two infinite entities : the universe and human folly.
217 I'm not yet sure about the universe.
220 "The United States of America is the only empire in history to have gone from
221 Barbarism directly to Decadence, without any intervening period of
222 Civilisation." - Oscar Wilde
224 "People used to come in with green-spiked hair and body piercings and say
225 'Where's my server?' and throw money at us."
226 - Scott McNealy on the .com boom
228 "Epitaph kicks off the geckos and the thermophilae and fettles the AC again...
229 There is no way this is 22 degrees centigrade... (for additional
230 entertainment, it's the same system we use in the machine room)"
233 "Welcome to the World Wide Web - delivering unexpected penis since 1993!"
234 - http://www.ghastlycomic.com/d/20050522.html
236 "We live in the interface between radioactive molten rock and hard
237 vacuum and we worry about safety." -- Chris Hunt
239 <@mst> perl6 and lisp, on the same bytecode engine ... heaven :)
240 <@sri> you're soo insane dude...
241 - sri, trying once again to convince me I'm the evil one on #catalyst
243 "The business guys who did the most for Google were the ones who obligingly
244 flew Altavista into a hillside just as Google was getting started"
245 - Paul Graham in http://www.paulgraham.com/bronze.html
247 "I just realized yesterday that my friendly neighborhood Planned Parenthood
248 is across the street from the Church of the Immaculate Conception."
249 - vivalavivi getting metaquoted on LJ
251 "I find the best attitude is to treat programming like demon summoning: the
252 target is at least as smart as you, must obey the letter of your commands,
253 and hates you. Code accordingly."
254 - dstorrs on irc.perl.org#catalyst
256 <@draven> the army's secret service is close to this lake too
257 <@draven> there was a sign that said 'no pictures'
258 <@draven> so I took a picture of it.
259 - draven, tempting fate on #catalyst
261 16:07 <@mst> did I just kill the right one? (sysadmin blues on #chat)
262 16:07 <@Snoof> holy god shit wtf. no!
263 16:07 <@Snoof> oh wait yes
264 16:08 <@Snoof> ok i'm going to shut up a moment.
266 16:50 <@draven> guess I'd better get outta here.
267 16:50 <@gabb> Run Forrest, run!
268 16:50 * draven steps on gabbs toe on the way out
269 - draven and gabb being silly on #catalyst
271 "How do you visualise a 17-dimensional space?"
272 "Oh, that's easy. I just visualise an n-dimensional space and let n=17."
273 - James Riden, re-treading an old maths joke on ASR
275 I must go to work. (wax_jism on LJ)
276 I'd rather spork myself
278 So I must go to work.
280 "back in my day we had to walk to the trolls through fourteen feet of snow!
281 and then eat them with our bare hands! we weren't even allowed to use our
282 mouths!" - restriction going yorkshire on LJ
284 "...whilst shutting down windows: Desktop: There is not enough memory to run
285 this program. Shut down one or more running programs..."
288 "Drugs. Drugs are the solution to this problem, but I have none except asprin
289 produced in Czechoslovakia in 1968 and I have firm rule about self-medicating
290 with pills that outlived their country of origin." - doqz on LJ
293 <Snoof> VIOLENT SHOUTY SWEARING
294 <Snoof> i'm going to kill things.
295 (Snoof meets sql-ledger)
297 "CORBA being the distributed computing equivalent of a battleship anchor"
300 { package SubRef; sub AUTOLOAD { our $AUTOLOAD; my $meth = $AUTOLOAD;
301 $meth =~ s/.*:://; shift->($meth, @_); } }; my $x = bless(sub { print
302 join(' ',@_[0,2..$#_])."\n"; }, 'SubRef'); $x->Just(qw/Another Perl Hacker/);
304 Snoof: why does this installation instruction contain gabbling about a .exe?
305 mst: Prob. cos it runs on Windaz and they've made the binary .exe everywhere
306 Snoof: you're buying me a gun for our six month anniversary next month, right?
308 > I have very little knowledge of goats and I _really_ wish people would (Jim)
309 > start to trust me on this.
310 We trust your knowledge of goats. We also trust you *on* goats. We (Satya)
311 don't trust you *with* goats.
313 <click>"PUT THE GOAT QUOTE DOWN AND STEP AWAY FROM YOUR .SIG FILE, SIR!"
314 - Jim reacts badly to my quotefiling his sexual pervsions in a.s.r
316 <mst> yeah, actually, that's a good idea
317 <Snoof> well i was going to do it whether you said yes or no...
318 <Snoof> but i thought you might like the illusion of choice.
320 "Sometimes a penis is _just_ a penis."
323 < dennyd> I had one blue ear for a few days once
324 < dennyd> that was annoying
325 < dennyd> much more care applying the vaseline after that
327 <@draven> boogiewoogiewoogiewoogie
330 - #catalyst. don't ask.
332 I like these calm metal moments before the storm.
333 It reminds me of Beethoven.
335 Epitaph makes Yet Another Unplanned Change to the network architecture
336 Mst says: wait? you have planned changes? I don't remember mention of any
337 Epitaph says: yes, but we never have time to implement them
339 "Asylum seekers have died in such circumstances. We chose to meet up and
340 discuss the future of the internet."
341 - Kieren McCarthy on an ICANN meeting
343 "'minor human errors' - Do they really exist? I've only seen the big ones that
344 really screw things up."
345 - Deadsetter on irc.scsys.co.uk
347 <Snoof> maybe you should just shave him completely. i think this time of
348 year's a bit hot for sheep anyway.
350 <Snoof> wrong window.
352 "If, on the other hand, you are suggesting that we replace our current
353 Prime Minister with a houseplant, then I think it is an eminently
354 sensible idea, and the houseplant will get my vote at the next election."
357 <@draven> "My mother was a tailor, she sewed my new blue jeans. My father
358 was a warlock, down in New Orleans."
359 <@draven> House of the WOW
361 "Volvos are hand-carved from lumps of exotic matter by cunning Swedes and
362 cannot be destroyed by conventional weapons."
365 '... if I really need more than 160 characters, my phone has this bizarre
366 secondary function whereby you can put someone's number in, hold the phone
367 to your head, and in some way "talk" to them.'
370 You ask MikeA an inane question.
371 MikeA hits you with cluebat.
375 You ask MikeA an inane question.
376 MikeA hits you with 3000 volts across the forehead.
380 You ask MikeA an inane question.
381 MikeA hits you with brick.
385 You ask MikeA an inane question.
386 MikeA hits you with canoe paddle.
390 You ask MikeA an inane question.
391 MikeA hits you with howitzer.
395 You ask MikeA an inane question.
396 MikeA hits you with tile from raised floor.
400 You ask MikeA an inane question.
401 MikeA hits you with 2x4.
405 You ask MikeA an inane question.
406 MikeA hits you with Imperial Assload of hungry ferrets.
410 You ask MikeA an inane question.
411 MikeA hits you with startling news.
415 You ask MikeA an inane question.
416 MikeA hits you with Orbital Anvil Delivery System.
420 "I'd like to point out that I _did_ say everything I said, and my only regret
421 is that I couldn't use a larger font."
422 - Jim, in a thread of people disclaiming quote attribution in a.s.r
424 "Unfortunately the inventors of the Selenium high-voltage
425 rectifier-sticks common in early-1960s TV sets have prior claim
426 to the Smell-Emitting Diode."
429 12:48 < Purge> whats mod_apreq and do i need it?
430 12:50 <@draven> apache request handling
431 12:50 <@draven> it will make things faster, and more painful
432 12:50 <@draven> kinda like amphetamine.
434 A closed mouth gathers no foot.
436 "Actually, windows was probably sulking anyway - I've been running the laptop
437 using sleep on lid close for three weeks so it hasn't been allowed to crash
439 - mdk, on irc.scsys.co.uk
441 "I only had BIND working for a while, but then noticed that getting powerful
442 electric anal discharges was funnier (and felt better)"
443 - ank, on irc.perl.org
445 < Ems> person accusing me of pony abuse says "ive had horses 30 years,
446 ive been trampled on, squished, scraped, had bones broken etc
447 etc'... yeah, so your methods are working REALLY well huh!
449 <mst> both qmail and sendmail are involved, so really, bending reality
450 wouldn't surprise me overmuch ...
451 <dngor> Or maybe it's cthulhu's influence...
454 * sri remembers autrijus crying for help on irc after he locked himself
455 in a room at Leopold Toetsch's house :)
457 > A tangled cable is a happy cable.
458 In that case some of mine are having way too much fun. They're into
459 bondage for one thing. I think the switch is the sub.
460 - RBW and Jim in a.s.r
462 I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity
463 for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
464 -- Hunter S. Thompson
466 Feudalism: It's your Count that Votes.
467 Democracy: It's your Vote that Counts.
468 Communism: Your Votes don't Count.
469 Capitalism: The Lowest Bidder Counts your Votes.
471 > I see this going somewhere with a Bene Gesserit Dentist and a gum jabber...
472 ... and turning into a weird-ass mashup of Little Shop and Dune?
473 "Son, be a Mentat / You have a talent for using your brain!"
474 - prwade and Steve V in a.s.r
476 "Red Hat are a fine vendor of honeypots, but I'm not quite sure why people
477 use it as an operating system."
478 - pndc in irc.scsys.co.uk#chat
480 "I come from a generation where the name Dick Van Dyke doesn't immediately
481 make you think of a website"
482 - Nick Roberts, in the Yorkshire House
484 <@mst> mooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
485 <@dngor> Hello, sir. I'm with Homeland Security. We noticed your cow was
486 ticking, so we took it out back and detonated it. Here is your watch.
488 > The basic, bare bones pedal has nothing to keep the foot on the pedal.
489 ... except for 100kg of BOFH, in my case. It appears to be enough.
490 - Peter Corlett replying to Stuart Lamble in a.s.r
492 >> Look up Flying Spaghetti Monster.
493 >May all your networks be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
495 - Pete Stephenson, Satya, and Jasper Janssen in a.s.r
497 1950: Communist 1960: Peacenik 1970: Socialist
498 1980: Welfare Cheat 1990: Paedophile 2000: Terrorist
499 They're all out to get you. Who do you want to demonize today?
500 - Brian Kantor in a.s.r
502 <gabb> Hey, the world ain't 10,000 years old? :(
503 <bda> Only if you believe the mice had to patch and reboot it.
504 <ningu> the world actually reboots very quickly now, because it has journaling
505 <bda> See, you took my Douglas Adams joke, and you got Linux all over it.
507 Not _everything_ I do is obscene.
508 But I'm working on that.
511 <@perigrin> You live in a country where the largest natural disaster is the
512 burger at the pub. :)
513 * perigrin pines for .uk
515 < bda> It's not the Canadians' fault that their best link is a couple of
516 moose with tin cans and a wire...
518 >> Where can I buy a complete set of metric wenches? (MikeA)
519 >It depends. What will you use as a measuring stick? (Shmuel Metz)
520 My own personal dipstick, had it forever. (Kevin Goebel)
522 "What happens nine months later is that the process daemonizes, and
523 detaches from its controlling terminal. Then it execs."
524 - Dave Brown on POSIX reproduction in a.s.r
526 As long as you're in wheel, you're never unarmed.
527 - Kurt von Finck in a.s.r
529 "SFX GEEK 2: [We] got a freakishly tall Dutchman to wave [Keanu Reeves] around
530 on a stick while we shot at him. This got boring after a while, but the
531 shrieks of pain did tend to relieve the boredom."
533 "Does a non-Euclidean lubricant make Kleinalingus more enjoyable?"
534 - Steve VanDevender in a.s.r
536 "When you have a trebuchet, every bear's a potential drop bear."
537 - Chris Hacking in a.s.r
539 < joel> it was like working in an industrial club in a freezer
540 < joel> except without the munted cyberkids.
541 - joel on exodus @ park royal, on irc.scsys.co.uk#chat
543 <@ningu> I would say the evolution of computers in the last 35 years is a
544 fairly logical evolution from PDP to PGP to PHP
545 <@ningu> PPP came much earlier, it was envisioned first by beethoven
546 <@ningu> in his fifth symphony which began: pppd
548 Were I not taken, and she not taken, and if she were keen on the kind of
549 hallucinogen that makes me look fit, I'd *totally* have her in the palm of
550 my hand. or something.
551 - DeathBoy, making no sense at all in #uk_goffs
553 21:12 <Snoof> the only difference was the virgin of apache
554 21:12 <Snoof> 1.3.33?
555 21:12 <mst> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
556 21:13 <Snoof> bollocks.
558 08:56 <@gellyfish> eek! windmill had forgotten what it was called
559 08:57 <@osfameron> windmills!
560 08:57 -!- osfameron is now known as DonOsfamerote
561 08:58 <@DonOsfamerote> charge!
563 -!- mode/#uk_goffs [+b *!*@213.249.157.68] by Samoth
564 -!- Chavet [jirc@213.249.157.68] has quit [Local kill by Samoth (Lame)]
565 -!- chavette [jirc@213.249.157.68] has quit [Local kill by Samoth (Also lame)]
567 # mysql is stupid and drops connections. Tell it to stalk the database. never
568 # let it out of its sight. Never.
569 - chisel on irc.perl.org#catalyst
571 < epitaph_> afaics the pope selection process is something like a diesel
572 engine: black smoke dead, white smoke OK
574 -!- chansen [~chansen@h106n2c1o1099.bredband.skanova.com] has quit [Quit:
575 sleep, sleep, yeah right. perhaps vermouth helps?]
577 <@drforr> WHEN WILL JESUS BRING THE PORK CHOPS?
578 <@dngor> Dude. He can't do that. He's Jewish. He'll go to hell.
580 <@quicksilver> and sometimes when someone in #cat is being really
581 clueless what you really want to type is
582 <big-picture-of-mst-charging-at-observer-wielding-chainsaw>
584 Jan 15 10:53:44 sshd[11861]: Invalid user sex from 194.242.112.103
586 <@dngor> So fucked. I just blew out /usr/bin and /usr/local/bin.
587 <@dngor> I had a script that switches between different versions of Perl.
589 <@dngor> I'll need to recover it from backup to find out what that was.
591 < ningu> The audio is glitchy, the framerate is low; the best version
592 came out a long time ago. The audio's been glitchy on everything
593 I've tried; with the hardware I've got it's not justified.
595 < Doc> it's a conditioned response. deny everything first, then think
596 <@Snoof> i agree, Doc, except for the last two words
598 "Sometimes all it takes to restore sanity is for theory to meet reality
602 "The world would be a better place if all software croaked when anyone used
603 any kind of indentifier that wasn't [A-Za-z][A-Za-z0-9_]+"
604 -- blblack in magnet#dbix-class
606 * mst fires the 10-gauge
607 <@dngor> Quack quack quack! [RECEDES]
608 <@mst> your hairline is a duck?
609 <@dngor> And at this point also a cover.
611 < mooli> Other people use their bleepers to find their car, I just stand
612 around and wait for the clang of something falling off.
614 < joel> i just caught myself thinking "ooh, i know that tune"
615 < joel> and whistling along
616 < joel> it's the bloody hotel fax machine.
619 < holoway> I was going to dig deeper into that bug over the weekend, but then
620 got hit by a drunk driver. silly drunk drivers.
622 * mugwump will hopefully be the owner of 2404:130:d00b::/48 soon ;)
624 <epitaph> Bathroom window wide
625 Rain on wind, South-easterly
628 * ubu ->lunch('turkey sandwich');
629 * Nacho -> breakfast('http://victoria.openguides.org/Pluto%27s');
630 * ct ->dada("Pig eye puppy hat. Blue.");
632 * castaway deploys sandwiches
633 < nigel> ALTER sandwich ADD FILLING mustard...
635 < jwang> although there are a lot of PHP developers out there, if you ask
636 for OO PHP developers, I think there may be less than OO Perl devs
637 <@phaylon> it's hard enough to find ones that can work without register_goblins
639 <@phaylon> people who use "MATCH" as column name in mysql should be shot
640 in two parts with a nailgun
642 Tiamo gets *very* drunk and then something crashes: 4 days
643 Anakata gets a really bad cold and noone is around: 7 days
644 The US and Swedish gov. forces the police to steal our servers: 3 days
645 (PirateBay downtime report)
648 < nothingmuch> i see my vast army of doc minions have been hard at work
649 < nothingmuch> on other stuff
650 < nothingmuch> YOU'RE ALL FIRED
652 <@phaylon> damnit. I just wrote "my $font-weight =" in my css file
654 <+phaylon> well, I'm in hamburg and I want it more quietly :)
655 <+ningu_> that sounds mildly obscene
656 <+phaylon> is that a bad thing? :)
658 <@Nicholas> is there a STFU option for Firefox?
659 <@Nicholas> I object to my web browser making noises when I click on links
661 <@claco> programming without an f key is insane
662 <@claco> it works about one out of ever 10 hard presses...
663 <@claco> an no room or a big phat model M on the cophee table
664 <@claco> iph (1) {phoreach}
666 At work we've kind of renamed that command. When spoken it comes out
667 something like "arr-em-dash-arr-star-hands-off-keyboard-stop-and-think" :)
668 - Ben Buchanan commenting on http://www.veen.com/jeff/archives/000899.html
670 < joel> my second thought, after "do they have polar bears?" was "what
673 < gbjk_home> When something like this becomes stable.. it's like have a
674 permanent bridge between cliffs made out of compliant
677 Day changed to 07 Jul 2006
678 < Penguin> ooh, it's 07/07/07 today
679 < Penguin> ernm. fuck.
680 * Penguin goes away to fix his clock
682 <@perigrin> echo '0.02 - It's different from 0.01' >> Changes.txt
684 * castaway pounces on mst
685 * Penguin pounces on castaway and flattens mst
686 * castaway tosses Penguin off
689 <@dngor> You could also put it on the end and pop it off.
691 "So we had a bug in our session management stored procs... When anyone logged
692 out, it invalidated all sessions! We had ... where session_id = session_id
693 instead of where session_id = u_session_id.
694 "The thing is, in single user mode, you don't notice :)"
696 * dstorrs blows the Dread Manager's Whistle of Acrimonious Team Member
699 <@dstorrs> "May you live in interesting times, may powerful people notice
700 you, and may the phone company work diligently on your lines."
702 <@denny> "Yes, firefox is indeed greater than women. Can women block pop-ups
703 for you? No. Can Firefox show you naked women? Yes."
705 * kd searches to a sane file format to convert a ppt slide into
706 <@kd> /dev/null comes to mind
708 -!- voidengineer [i=manchine@71.93.6.193] has joined #foobarbaz
710 < voidengineer> I guess I need another test channel
711 -!- voidengineer [i=manchine@71.93.6.193] has left #foobarbaz []
714 <@denny> my two top matches on okcupid today are a couple
715 * denny messages them both :)
717 * jguenther saw Tool in Edmonton on Friday
718 < holoway> jguenther, I saw Tool last night in George, WA
719 <@waswas> holoway: I saw tool in my hands last night. What a coincidence.
721 <@darobin> Ugly is the key to Web 3.0
723 <@baud_deck> SPIKY CORNERS
726 < jshirley> WHERE IS MY AUTOMOBILE
727 <@mst> INSERTED IN YOUR HARGLUAHGLAUAHGLUAHA
728 < jshirley> IT MUST RUN ON BIODIESEL.
730 <@captainL> i'm not really into ponies, but it'd keep the gf happy.
732 < kane-xs> castaway: oh, if we have 2 index.tt files in 2 different
733 paths, that's a Developer Error
734 < kane-xs> ideally, a small gnome exits the screen and hits the developer
736 * denny wonders if anyone has started a VoIP company called IPfreely
738 <@romauld> I, of course, read that as worky*panty*worky...
739 * denny goes in search of pig
740 * helenic|workypaintyworky is not wearing panties
741 -!- denny is now known as denny|lard
743 <@Fox> poggs|work: my anus cannot wait much longer.
744 <@Fox> poggs|work: it puckers with anticipation.
745 <@poggs|work> Fox: I'm sure you can find a bollard.
747 < matgates> preg_replace? sounds like a sort of back street abortion clinic.
748 < Treenaks> matgates: no, then you wouldn't replace ;)
749 < blueNine> preg_match() is the new clear-blue test?
751 * DrHyde has been prescribed a diet of Aretha Franklin by his parish
752 priest in an attempt to stave off vampirism
754 >>then there's mechanically recovered chicken. (SteveD)
755 > alt.chickadmin.recovery.automatic? (Dave)
756 Quiet group, though. Everyone's afraid to try waving a sysadmin. (Ron Parker)
758 <@jrockway> mst: isn't it 5am your time right now?
759 <@mst> nah ... only 4:56
760 < Penguin> it's 5:03 here
761 < Penguin> shit, ntp has died again
763 <@jrockway> I have to maintain a website written in VB now
764 <@jrockway> what the fuck
765 <@jrockway> it looks like If Some Condition That's Human Readable Oh Yeah
766 Then There's A Security Hole End
768 > ... [based on bonfire night we] should be celebrating Christmas by hunting
769 > down weirdoes and nailing them to bits of wood.
770 Gives a whole new meaning to "making a Christmas list", now, dunnit?
771 -- (pndc and MikeA in the SDM)
774 <@lathos> No, wait, I'm not supposed to say that.
776 Whilst holidaying with the sprogs and watching Favourite Teddy Bear
777 trundling through the x-ray, I speculated on the fun that could be had
778 with a teddy bear containing a radio-opaque teddy-bear skeleton.
781 <@dngor> You are a beautiful, unique snowflake. In hell.
784 <@perigrin> EXECUTION QUERY PLAN [[ wander around for a bit, drink some
785 tea, then throw an exception to piss off mst ]]
787 <@Nicholas> Gatling gun++ # more efficient than a clue-by-four when
788 presented with a large problem.
790 <@mst> meh, chainsaw one person badly enough the rest get spattered with bits
791 <@mst> the survivors tend to decide to listen to you.
792 <@gellyfish> ANYONE ELSE WANT TO "NEGOTIATE"?
794 <@baud> he looked better towards the end of that interview.
795 <@ubu> if by "better" you mean "appeared to be within shouting distance
796 of reality despite all other evidence", then, yes.
797 (#axkit-dahut on $politician)
799 <@blblack> emacs-- # needs foot pedals
801 -!- avinash240 [fwuser@crlspr-69.65.65.40.myacc.net] has quit [Quit:
802 Think your current client is sexy? Check out Bersirc 2.2!]
803 <@xantus> "Think your current client is sexy? You might be out of work
804 due to sexual harassment"
806 < kd> war is peace, hate is love and fucking is virginity
807 < ank> unzip;strip;touch;finger;mount;fsck;more;yes;fsck;fsck;fsck;umount;sleep
809 <@denny> my boss just asked the technical staff to work out a rota
810 between ourselves to determine which one of us would actually
811 try to be on time each day
817 < dnm> .... screw you guys. That's too much work.
818 < dnm> I'm all about the chloroform and rophynol.
819 < dnm> ... uh.. you should probably forget I said that.
821 < Doc> but they have sheep
822 < Penguin> so does wales
823 < Phated> But NZ sheep are friendlier.
825 < Phated> But NZ sheep are friendlier.
827 < Phated> ... not that way :(
828 < Phated> It was more receptive to petting... not that way either!
830 * kd considers what the emoticon for vulva would be
833 -!- Nicholas is now known as |
834 <@grue> Nicholas: just the person I was stalking too!
835 <@|> gah. not thin enough
837 < nigel> wonder if I could make a business out of selling turing certificates
838 <@quicksilver> how long have you thought you could make a business out of
839 selling turing certificates?
841 <@DrHyde> i love plan9. it's utterly impractical and charmingly bonkers.
842 a bit like haskell, and french.
844 * trym|work gives Penguin some jizz
845 < trym|work> draw with that
846 * Penguin draws on trym|work with his special pen
849 * acme hits the data with the stick of cleansing
850 <@hex> blessed be the stick.
852 <@snarfy> centipedes? in *my* vagina?
854 <@gellyfish> HELP HELP I'M GIVING VBA MIGRATION ADVICE
855 <@mstevens> SEND SERVER SOUTH FOR WINTER
857 We have ferrets, rats and mice, not so much. See fuzzy notice rat, see
858 fuzzy get happy, see rat watch life flash before it's beady little
859 eyes, see fuzzy play with rat, see fuzzy moping around because his rat
860 broke. See me clean up bits of rat. -- Jim Richardson in the monastery
862 <@mst> ORBITAL ANVIL DELIVERY SYSTEM
864 < Penguin> I misread anvil as anal :-S
866 I'm not entirely convinced that *anyone* speaks Dutch. It sounds just
867 like German to me, only with more spitting.
868 -- Michel Buijsman, in a.s.r
870 <@jrockway> java is fine
871 <@jrockway> it's functional, it's GPL
872 <@jrockway> sounds good to me
873 <@kd> it's more verbose than my wife ;)
875 <@jrockway> NOTE TO SELF: DON'T TURN ON CAPS LOCK AND THEN REBIND CAPS
878 <@Penguin> I seem to have a small fanta bottle, half filled with white
879 fluid on top of a post it note saying "lunch" :-S
880 * Penguin backs away from the fridge
882 <@ningu> I wonder if it is a crime to live in berkeley and never have
884 < groditi> naa. its only a city ordinance
886 <@phaylon> everytime I start up kde I think "Is this thing supposed to
889 -!- xantus is now known as purl
891 -!- purl is now known as xantus
892 <@xantus> noone saw me do it, you can't prove anything
894 * jshirley curses at the monkeys.
895 <@jshirley> bad monkeys
896 <@jshirley> @array = SELECT * FROM foo; splice(@array, 0, 50); # PAGINATION!
899 <@mst> jshirley: http://trout.me.uk/quotes.txt
901 <@jshirley> My frustration is nothing more than a bumper sticker to you.
902 <@jshirley> Asshole :P
904 < abraxxa> you know, my brain is like ram you power off every night...
905 < joel> well, see you at YAPC::EU then
906 < joel> I'll be the one with a giant boxing glove labelled RTFM
907 < joel> beating you repeatedly
909 <@jshirley> I should sponsor cp80 as a friend ($100) with the name of
910 Mike Hunt-Hurtz or something asinine like that.
911 <@jrockway> IT HURTS BECAUSE OF PORN
912 <@jrockway> (on port 80)
914 < blblack> anyone happen to know if macbookpro keyboard keys can be
915 popped on/off without damanging anything to clean under them?
916 < pavelgolubev> mepoppedspace...
917 < pavelgolubev> blblack, yes :)
919 <@jrockway> if ( $New ) { code } if ($New) { more code } if (exists
920 $brain) { i wouldn't code like this }
921 <@groditi> before making tools that lower the barrier to entry, some
922 people should consider whether the barrier really needs lowering
924 < EvanCarroll> PAYPERCLICKANDAFFILIATEPROGRAM.COM Price: $1,150.00*
925 < EvanCarroll> thats cheap, its only like 25.00 a letter!
927 16:44 -!- jrockway was kicked from #catalyst
929 18:34 -!- jrockway has joined #catalyst
930 18:34 <@jrockway> no wonder there was no activity
932 <@Greg> they were maybe the saddest people i have ever met, one had a
933 squeaky hammer and he'd run round hitting people on the head with
934 it laughing and explaining it was very funny back in germany
936 < mdk> Microsoft installs in its community of developers the ability to
937 be inconsistent, imprecise and irrelevant. Thank fuck that its the
938 most popular system on the planet, otherwise we'd all be forced to
939 bitch about something useful
941 > I'm Ada Lovelace. Do I win five pounds?
942 As long as you don't spend it on the horses or laudanum...
944 (ABW and Steve Mynott on l.pm)
946 < NOTevil> that was before zeros and ones, everything was just 0000000000...
947 < mst> you had -rows- of zeros? we had to push 'em up the hill one by one!
948 < NOTevil> you had a hill? :P
950 < dr_Poggs> the train computer felt compelled to inform us that, should
951 Watford suddenly turn in to Birmingham, that we're not to smoke
953 There is no such thing as overkill.
954 There is 'not enough kill', and 'enough kill'.
957 < sheriff> I wonder if I find the idea of incest so funny because my
960 <@mrben> ms exchange, the IT version of shoelace tying in the prison shower...
961 ...wearing cheekless trousers ...with a tube of lube tucked into the belt
962 < Elleo> this may be the wrong thing to focus on, but why would you be
963 wearing trousers in the shower?
965 <@Nicholas> foamy coffee - UKP 2.00
966 <@Nicholas> foamy beer - UKP 2.94
967 <@Nicholas> unfortunately the beer baristas don't give you a loyalty card :-(
970 <@gbjk> @minions are gone!?
971 <@gbjk> How the fuck did the WHOLE day get spent trying to write a 6 line test!
972 <@gbjk> PAULA FUCKING BRILLANT
974 <@itz> never trust software where the README has references to Ayn Rand
975 <@gellyfish> never trust software
979 * teejay discovered today that our baby floats
981 The kernel license covers the *kernel*. It does not cover boot loaders and
982 hardware, and as far as I'm concerned, people who make their own hardware
983 can design them any which way they want. Whether that means "booting only
984 a specific kernel" or "sharks with lasers", I don't care. (Linus Torvalds)
986 < blblack> I see we're officially in the "everyone report problems with
987 the release that you should've found testing the RC" phase :)
989 < Yaakov> convert USD to CAD
990 < buubot> Yaakov: 0CAD
992 < mauke> won't perl6 use seconds since 2000-01-01?
993 <@Juerd> Perl 6 will count seconds since Christmas.
994 <@Juerd> But we won't tell you which Christmas :)
997 <@sungo> it's the only solaris I like, so far.
998 <@sungo> well, where like means "don't want to nuke from orbit"
1000 * kd recalls crossing the us border from canada to 'merika as a kid
1001 <@kd> being the only canadian in the family I was whisked through in no time
1002 <@kd> and they sent my parents and brother to guantanamo bay for a couple
1003 of years and I had to wait in the car
1005 < sheriff> Surprising as in birthday party of buttsex?
1007 <@denny> if they want to sell "today 14,000 people searched for 'arse
1008 fucking high heels porn'" to a pornsite, I'm okay with having
1009 added 1 to that number
1010 <@denny> if they add my IP, *then* I'll sulk
1012 <@joel> is MMF redundancy?
1013 <@joel> you have dick failover
1014 <@joel> but no hotswap if you're running an active/active topology
1016 <@kd> ningu: here's a simplified state model I prepared earlier: <url>
1017 <@ningu> 404 not found
1018 <@ningu> gee, that is simplified
1019 <@ningu> only one state
1022 < Zoffixs> I use my pencil
1023 < mst> I've never heard it called -that- before
1024 -!- Winkie [i=sd@87-194-8-125.bethere.co.uk] has quit
1026 -!- Topic for #london.pm: no more smoking in pubs! yay! next on the agenda
1027 telling jokes, dogs and blokes in cloth caps - welcome to WINE BAR WORLD
1028 -!- Topic set by gellyfish [Sun Jul 1 07:45:18 2007]
1030 "the synopsis is: we were worried that it wouldn't scale, but we're not
1031 worried about that anymore. It went ahead and proved it on its own, using
1032 the much-dreaded Proof by Repeated Example." -- stevey on tibco
1034 < ningu> papyrus was reed-only memory
1036 <@jrockway> who here *isn't* a bot?
1037 <@phaylon> jrockway: I'm not following you...
1038 <@jrockway> phaylon: jerk it
1039 -!- jrockway was kicked from #catalyst-dev by mst [SURPRISE! BUTTSECHS!]
1041 < integral> I think software prices should include the NHS presciption
1042 charge for whatever medication you need to use it.
1044 <+purge> mst: i have done far too much javasccript this week
1045 <+purge> mst: its made me take up caffeine again, after 6 months
1047 <+purge> mst: they were six very unproductive months
1049 <@teejay> closest to a fursona I've had was "Betty the transvestite half-elf"
1050 <@teejay> actually I already wish I hadn't shared that
1051 <@virtualsue> I didn't giggle - honest
1052 <@teejay> I'll have you know she reached quite a respectable level
1054 < mauke> it compiles, shit it
1057 20:11 <@gellyfish> WE HAVE A WINNER!
1058 20:11 <@gellyfish> I think I might have finally out-drunk my wife
1059 20:14 <@gellyfish> I'll wake her up in a while and let her know :-)
1060 20:14 <@gellyfish> I don't think the bathroom floor is all that comfortable
1062 < quicksilver> if you're stationery you can never be at fault
1064 -!- denny [denny@host81-149-176-190.in-addr.btopenworld.com] has quit
1066 <@HauntedUnix> ... fucking stoner.
1068 <@gbjk> I have a cable tie stuck around my tongue.
1069 <@gbjk> My resolution paths are somewhat limited by a key factor:
1070 <@gbjk> I'm on the phone in a telephone conference.
1071 <@gbjk> It's amazing how far you can get with "uh huh"
1075 < obra> I think that means "lunch"
1077 < ew73> My family tartan is retarded and game-boy puke yellow.
1079 < ew73> Remind me when I'm flung back in time and become my own great
1080 ancestor, to have that shit changed.
1083 No management with a clue
1085 - Shmuel (Syemour J.) Metz, in a.s.r
1087 < groditi> I got wasted and gave myself a mohawk with craft scissors and
1088 I have little tiny hairs all in the inside of my shirt
1089 < groditi> and they itch like crazy and i'm all in suit and tie today
1092 < talexb> Perl questions must be
1093 / phrased as haiku; fail and
1096 <@Penfold> do not go to teh intarweb for advice, for it will say both yes
1097 and no, and look, hamster porn
1099 <@richardc> awesome, I've been joe-jobbed
1100 <@muttley> did you make her breakfast next morning?
1101 <@richardc> wasn't phoning for a cab right after enough?
1102 <@muttley> as long as you called her by the right name
1104 < ton-> "woman Carp" in emacs...
1106 <@osfameron> man ci just says "The exit status is zero if and only if all
1107 operations were successful"
1108 <@osfameron> so I'm guessing -1 means "There was an error lol"
1110 < dha> Now all I have to do is learn php
1112 <@sungo> take your perl knowledge. now smash it against child pornography
1114 <@drforr> Welcome to PHP. Here's your banjo.
1116 * nothingmuch is resisting the urge to submit a patch to reiserfsck to
1117 create a 'wife' file in the lost+found dir
1119 <@jeek> Weird, I guess my mom is dying
1120 <@jeek> She's going in for bloodwork
1122 <@jeek> dunno, I closed the im
1124 <@joel> somebody on another irc channel asked "how do i make a daemon"
1125 <@joel> so i answered it, for like 5 minutes
1126 <@joel> process groups, setsid(), closing filehandles, double forking, la la la
1127 <@joel> and then he says "no i mean i want to incant evil spirits"
1129 <@osfameron> I'm not sure I understand how fucking australian soaps are
1130 somehow relaxing after work. I don't feel the need to stab
1131 myself in the face with a spoon just because I stopped working
1133 <@joel> macbook for rsi?
1134 <@joel> have you ever typed on one?!
1135 <@joel> you can approximate a macbook keyboard for testing purposes
1136 <@joel> you need 26 scrabble tiles and a block of concrete
1138 <@dngor> Your debugging is lengthy and artful, like a Matador. But
1139 that's no way to kill bulls if you're paid by the head.
1141 < mst> I just plan to have an undo button next time
1142 < clicktreat> eek... desk fire... one min
1143 < pboae> can you make a real life undo button for her?
1145 < clicktreat> btw... i ought to have said... he's got a narsty tendancy
1146 to quote file things you wish you hadnt said...
1147 < clicktreat> (or *I* wish you hadnt said..)
1148 < mst> ooh, good idea
1149 < clicktreat> crapppppppppppppp
1151 <nothingmuch> i think i need to get run over by a car or something
1152 <nothingmuch> some terrible accident
1153 <nothingmuch> involving brain damage
1154 <nothingmuch> so i can start blogging too
1156 <@mst> my cite page is http://trout.me.uk/quotes.txt
1157 < arcanez> *please dont be on it, please don't be on it*
1158 < arcanez> mmm Krispy Kreme
1161 <@rjbs> imprisoning me
1162 <@rjbs> all that i see
1163 <@rjbs> absolute line noise
1165 < sungo> Part of the horrors of living in central indiana is that there
1166 are no real dungeons to speak of near here.
1167 < sungo> I miss DC where there were 3 or 4 (not counting friends' houses)
1170 <@joel> sentence commuted from death to life in loughborough
1171 <@joel> defendant appeals
1173 * frew wishes his project had the word disco in it
1174 <@mst> IRC even has a command to make the channel dance
1176 -!- frew [~frew@firewall.mitsi.com] has quit [Quit: leaving]
1178 <@perigrin> honestly JSON::XS, Coro, and AnyEvent are impressive tools
1179 <@perigrin> unfortunately so is MLHEMANN
1181 <amy> OUCHIES!!! *cuts finger on hidden craft knife*
1183 <amy> Bleeding to death
1185 <mst> didn't bleed to death in the end then?
1186 <amy> Apart from if you are a Russian Monarch, most people don't really die
1187 from 8mm cuts on fingers ... I'm lucky enough to be a
1188 non-Russian-Monarch. And therefore didn't die.
1190 <mst> did you see the videos btw?
1192 <amy> Wait... STUPID AMY. How is "no" a question?
1195 <amy> Life is just tough. And some people cope better than
1196 others. And ducks are waterproof.
1198 < Somni> yes, we placed Alaska near Canada so we could be cold
1200 <@PJF> Issues of autodie being a hack built on an enigma built on a lie
1201 built on a subspace rift aside.
1203 <@jrockway> this whole thing has made me really want to follow through on my
1204 conference idea where teams compete to build a bike shed
1205 <@jrockway> they have 3 days to design and assemble a bike shed
1206 <@jrockway> and can optionally use a public mailing list to do so
1208 < kate`> bitwise problems are like flypaper to geeks :p
1210 Everyone watching [the 2008 US Vice Presidential debates] just wanted to pull
1211 Sarah Palin aside and say "Sweetie, this is a grown-up event. You need to use
1212 your big-girl words now."
1213 -- Ted Dziuba on El Reg
1215 < cfedde> lets hear it for syntactic sugar!
1216 < cfedde> and yeast.
1217 < cfedde> syntactic vodka
1219 * ijw ponders causing extreme death to the person who thought embedding the
1220 only serious DB update logic in a bloody TT template was a good idea.
1221 <@mst> ijw: what could possibly go wrong?
1222 < ijw> In his case, extreme death.
1224 < ijw> Bizarrely, his main skill is as high-class trumpet player, but he
1225 seems to have a sideline in fucking up software projects.
1227 < rjbs> I would like to share the only mnemonic that I sitll find useful
1228 on a daily basis with you.
1229 < rjbs> Women Give Head Often
1230 < rjbs> where, group by, having, order by
1232 SQL without subselects is like a massage without a happy ending
1234 <@pndc> Imagine if cleaners were treated like sysadmins. "I've just
1235 pissed all over the office floor; it's the cleaner's fault."
1237 <@knewt> "In Britain, some 50 chavs die every week from drinking too much
1238 Tesco-brand vodka. Every little helps!"
1240 <@mst> er, apples/oranges
1241 < arcanez> mst: I'll take an orange, thanks
1242 < frew> arcanez: you have a talent at derailing thought processes; bravo :-)
1243 < arcanez> frew: why squander my talents
1245 <@t0m> or patches are welcom
1247 < purl> 2.71828182845905
1250 <@t0m> Or don't use things that shit all over global state by requireing them.
1252 < purl> -2.71828182845905
1253 <@t0m> Oh, for fucks sake
1255 <@perigrin> hmm "a circular depends" is that something that happens at a
1256 swinger retirement home?
1258 * LeoNerd ponders a Getopt::Longer, with support for 'required' options
1259 < mst> LeoNerd: GetOpt::Longr; # released at v2.0 ... beta ...
1260 < LeoNerd> mst: Hrm.. CPAN search can't see that
1261 < mst> LeoNerd: IT WAS A JOKE
1263 < epitaph> sorry, I'm breaking my own rules. Never, ever ask the question
1264 "why" about anything on this project. If there even is an answer,
1265 you _do_ _not_ want to hear it
1267 * mst ponders finding the man who invented the "are you sure?" dialog box
1268 and stabbing his eyes out with rusty spoons
1269 <amy> If you find that man I would like you to replace his hands with his
1270 feet to teach him the meaning of "annoying" for me.
1272 < pdcawley> Judging by the Rails 'community's attitude to Perl, I think
1273 they're mostly of a generation that grew up thinking that PHP
1274 has always been a real language and not just a malignant Perl
1275 based templating system that metastasized.
1277 <@t0m> The correct solution is orange. Paint your monitor orange,
1278 and I promise all code displayed will be race condition free.
1279 <@t0m> The last statement may have contained up to one lie.
1282 IT IS IN THE BASH HISTORY
1283 WHO HAS THE FILE OPEN
1284 ME I ACCIDENTALLY PRESSED ENTER
1286 <@sungo> I realized something yesterday
1287 <@sungo> Watchmen was released on dvd/blueray yesterday.
1288 <@sungo> I watched dr manhattan's giant dong swing around for 3 hours
1289 <@sungo> motherfucker needed to put on some pants
1291 <t0m> Hey. I'm crap at notice, but if you're around some time on the
1292 weekend then I'll be in town if you fancy a beer or something :)
1293 <t0m> I remembered when I read my email this morning and GCal had mailed
1294 me 'you forgot to pack your shit didn't you!'
1296 < buu> keriati: Did you know thanks actually has 6 letters?
1298 <@DrHyde> wine++ # but not too much. ouch.
1299 <@wethrin> port++ # Often better than wine
1300 <@theorbtwo> aft++ # always lefter then port.
1302 <@sungo> india just launched a nuclear sub
1303 <@sungo> can you imagine the smell inside that sub?
1305 <@osfameron> summon a lower quality paper bag that I could more
1306 realistically attempt to code my way out of
1308 <@DrHyde> meh, what's a few miles of water between friends :-)
1311 <@rjbs> when you're done, you shake it (to empty the pages) and re-shelve
1312 < chargrill> like an etch-a-sketch
1314 < chargrill> yes, shaking empties babies nicely
1316 <@perigrin> ~ My daddy left home in 2003 / didn't leave much
1317 to the porters and me / just this old runtime and a a bunch of
1319 <@perigrin> -- A Language Named Perl
1321 < mst> hmm. the answer to that is both 'yes', and 'no'. also, 'breadsticks'.
1322 < phaylon> mst: you start to sound like a vorlon again
1324 < phaylon> I knew you'd say that.
1326 <Dianora> GO AWAY you stupid stupid man
1327 <Dianora> I am going to ignore this moron and have breakfast.
1328 <Dianora> I bet you are one of those smart asses that goes into grocery stores
1329 asking for refunds because your box of grapenuts has no grapes in it.
1332 <@tannie> and as always, I ate while drinking booze
1333 <@tannie> except, I ate the fruit from the sangria
1336 <+epitaph> ain't no fun if the spray doesn't hit your face
1337 < sng> epitaph: They're talking about sailing not sex...
1339 < frew> because the server runs windows too
1340 <@robkinyon> you're getting fucked from both ends
1341 <@mst> purl, frew is also spitroasted by win32
1344 <expectrix> Yeah, definitely Monday here too.
1345 <expectrix> seriously it's like I'm Network Mommy some days
1346 <expectrix> "no, you can't have any more juice!"
1348 <@hobbs> distributed fault-tolerant cocksucking?
1349 <%dhoss> hobbs: exactly
1350 <@hobbs> I can get behind that.
1351 <%dhoss> hobbs: but there's an average of 200 inserts/second!
1353 <@perigrin> obra: depends on what you set it to ... ord('MST IS A
1354 WANKER').time then "yes" that would be rude.
1355 <@obra> perigrin: I think mst would be upset if I used such a pedestrian
1358 < ernci> iv successfully removed all scripting stuff from my computer (perl,
1359 and bash(?) idk mb same thing), but now the command perl -e
1360 'exec("ls");' doesnt work but ls does, also comes up with lots of
1361 errors when posting or booting(?) and wont read my disk array?
1363 <@teejay> <wildlife_documentary>..and here we see an incredibly rare event..
1364 #london.pm has strayed far beyond it's usual topic of beer, ponies and the
1365 folly of human life and into the field of programming. Local tribes have
1366 legends of this occuring, but never before has it been captured on film
1368 <amy> My... My recycle bin just ate itself....
1370 < kentnl> mst: I know a guy who didn't stop drinking for 6 months solid
1371 < kentnl> at the time, I think they referred to it as "university"
1373 <@obra> . o { "Oh, did we say you'd won a million quid?
1374 We meant a million squid" }
1376 -!- dhoss [~dhoss@dopple.ion0.com] has joined
1377 <@geoffeg> HAI DHOSS, HOLD ON TIGHT THIS TIME
1378 < dhoss> this is the most people we've had in here for a while
1379 -!- dhoss [~dhoss@dopple.ion0.com] has quit [Killed (mst (one less now))]
1381 < mauke> today's advice: order pizza, pay with snakes
1382 < apeiron> also: breadsticks
1384 < frew> the only time a guy ever got fired because of soemthing like that
1385 was because he watched so much porn that he somehow got it on a
1386 build machine that got sent to a customer.
1388 < Debolaz> When I say wrong, I don't mean "oh, there's a mistake there",
1389 I mean "its existance itself is an error"
1391 -!- mode/#perl [+o mst] by ChanServ
1392 <@mst> Jafet: *CARE BEAR STARE*
1394 -!- Jafet [n=Jafet@unaffiliated/jafet] has left #perl []
1396 < dnm> I'm going to write a book.
1397 < dnm> It's going to be called, "how to write a shitty programming language."
1398 < dnm> It will be the source code to php verbatim.
1400 21:20 <buu> 13:20 [freenode] -!- #perl Cannot join channel (throttled)
1401 21:21 -!- buu [i=buu@erxz.com] has joined #perl
1402 21:21 < buu> SUCCESS
1403 21:21 -!- buu was kicked from #perl by mst [FAILURE]
1405 <@sungo> I'm playing fable II for the billionth time
1406 <@sungo> I just dug up a spot where my dog indicated there was treature
1407 <@sungo> and found.... a condom
1408 <@sungo> who buries condoms?
1410 <@sungo> MYSQL YOUR ERROR REPORTING SUCKS ANCIENT CRUSTY HORSE COCK
1412 * mst nukes buu from orbit
1413 * buu bursts into bloom.
1415 < sys> when you have the right tool to solve the problem everything just
1417 < pragma_> And if you don't have the right tool, there's always Java.
1419 <@SlayerXP> you spelt "not capable of finding their arse with both hands, an
1420 atlas, and the services of a professional arse finder" wrong.
1422 <@sungo> some day, I'm going to drive to his house and hit him with a shovel
1423 until he realizes he knows NOTHING ABOUT IMPLEMENTING ANYTHING
1425 <@davorg> I have about 100 ZWD in notes somewhere. That's the 1st ZWD.
1426 <@davorg> I use it as a bookmark.
1428 <@perigrin> chargrill: no I'll abandon programming and data migration and
1429 instead do something useful with my life ... like become a Mime
1430 <@perigrin> or possibly a disease vector.
1432 "I have to say, reCAPTCHA is one of the most elegant solutions I've ever
1433 seen to a problem. It's not even killing two birds with one stone, it's
1434 killing two birds with one of the birds."
1435 - Thaelon on slashdot - http://xrl.us/bfmg6t
1437 <@_Dave> shit shave shag shower
1438 <@wethrin> in that order? :)
1439 <@_Dave> depends how dirty you like the anal action
1440 <@tannie> and switching away from the channel again
1442 > oops did you drop your pacifier again?
1444 I tried using my son's pacifier, but it brought me no comfort.
1445 Any other suggestions? -- lucasoman.blogspot.com
1447 <Random> we had a USian in the soho office. always carried a gas mask and
1448 other gubbins in some sort of tube attack survival kit
1449 <Random> I pointed out that here we just blow shit up and he'd probably find
1450 a fire extinguisher more useful... he worked from home for a week.
1452 * snow hides from his own mind
1453 < snow> someone just said "Sorry for not reply, my pizza came"
1454 < snow> my first image was 'melted cheese bukkake'
1456 < huf> it's actually somewhat entertaining to watch retards crash
1458 -!- nadim_jfdi was kicked from #perl by mst
1459 < huf> brick wall intersected.
1461 * Alias hangs around for another half an hour until it is
1462 simultaneously BOTH 2am and 3am
1464 < Jedit> Arwen: FOX News has a very flexible relationship with the truth.
1465 < Jedit> In fact, I believe they've agreed to a trial separation where
1466 they can see other people.
1468 < perlmonkey2> mst: the postgres people already set me straight on that.
1469 Apparently only a blithering idiot would use caps, and using
1470 underscores makes you part of an elite group of fighting ninjas
1471 who all drive Ferraris to work. I get it, use underscores :P
1473 -!- test [i=3edb7b6a@gateway/web/freenode/x-sljagsssqkajbsyl] has joined ##c
1474 -!- mode/##c [+b *!*@gateway/*] by ChanServ
1475 -!- test was kicked from ##c by ChanServ [Banned:
1476 too*many*trolls*through*gateways,*connect*like*a*real*person]
1478 < joel> Test::Builder::Tester just blew the roof off my skull
1480 <@sungo> I put a bible onto an microsd card just so I could shove it up
1481 my ass and poop it back out
1483 use strict; use warnings FATAL => 'all';
1484 BEGIN { $^H |= 0x602; ${^WARNING_BITS} |= ("\xff"x11)."?" }
1486 -!- Sessifet [rooms@82.132.139.201] has quit [Quit: I meant to do that.
1487 Then again, I may not have. ]
1488 -!- Sessifet [rooms@82.132.139.10] has joined #afp
1489 < Sessifet> Wrong button!
1491 * Jedit wonders how you smoke PDP-11 assembler
1492 < pol> Jedit: 16 bits at a time, and in a structured manner
1494 < chaplja> Zhivago: I'd like to ask a question. Two in fact.
1495 < Zhivago> Everyone should have something to aspire to.
1497 <@Trelane> Do we have any working debuggers or not?
1498 <@Zefram> your brain is the debugger
1499 <@Trelane> that's what I'm trying to avoid using
1501 < dhoss> Caelum: i want to refactor your C::H::DBIC stuff and see you
1503 < Caelum> masturbation doesn't excite me anymore either
1505 < purge> hmph. i just met the most arrogant of mail servers
1506 < purge> 550 This message is spam and is rejected.
1507 < quicksilver> the customary reply is
1508 < quicksilver> 551 Your Mom is spam, but I didn't reject her.
1510 * waltman just solved a problem for someone on the PLUG mailing list
1511 with a 25 char perl one-liner :)
1512 <@waltman> now he's got two problems :)
1519 "Source Safe is not source control software. At best, it's a fat random
1520 byte generation layer on top of the file system or network stack."
1521 -- Mark of lexparse.com
1523 <jjl> nails are so 1900s. these days it's all about irony in weapons.
1524 sharp edges of a debian dvd for example
1525 <mst> I prefer steel nails; they're already pretty irony.
1526 <jjl> i think i just *said* 'groan'
1528 < Neth> what problem is sharepoint supposed to solve?
1529 < pol> Microsofts lack of cashflow
1531 < random> though life would at this point be much improved
1532 by knowing the whereabouts of my tweezers
1533 < random> ..well that was easy.
1534 < random> I just trod on them
1536 <@sungo> the horde is upon me
1537 <@sungo> and I'm fresh out of pipe bombs
1539 1 minute: Discovering code wasn't chmod'ed +x on deploy
1540 2 minutes: Fixing code and verifying it runs now
1541 12 minutes: Explaining to client sysadmin precise meaning of the word
1542 'eviscerated' and how to avoid it applying to him in the future
1544 <@sungo> my oldest cat likes to jump in the litter box before litter has
1545 been added. I then pour litter on the cat.
1546 <@sungo> we've been doing this for 6 years now. motherfucker knows how
1549 < hercynium> I still need to have sex in intercourse, pa
1551 < Labrat> Starbucks should come with a warning alright: You are being
1552 overcharged for a cup of liquid that would make a proper
1555 The way to stop this collective madness is, of course, to get a committee on
1556 that and get a decent standard together. No, wait . . . . you wanted sane.
1558 - http://www.dadhacker.com/blog/?p=1161
1560 < marcus> B IS FOR BUGGER
1561 < marcus> C IS FOR CAKE
1562 < marcus> D IS FOR DEATH
1563 < marcus> E IS FOR RAVES
1565 <fspeiser> I find that the only downside to doing releases earlier in the
1566 week is that business owners can think of more stuff to
1567 complain about before the weekend comes and they forget what
1570 < Gid> Actually, I've always recommended that newly-wed husbands beat
1572 < Gid> beat them to the hoovering, beat them to the washing-up, beat then
1573 to emptying the rubbish bins..
1576 * mst swaps in a new redundant minion
1577 <@stevan> ohh, hotswappable minions
1578 <@rjbs> I didn't know you were into redundant arrays of professional employees
1580 <@waltman> There should be a law against what my aunt does to asparagus
1581 <@nperez> it is called sodomy and it is a law
1583 < Nacmac> you mama so fat it takes TWO warlocks to summon her
1585 < rozallin> I got a letter from the DWP which read "So uh... what *is*
1587 < apeiron> oh wow. I so would've responded with "I AM VISHNU, DESTROYER
1590 #p5p <@obra> Ok. Bacon and Eggs time. & # swine before perl
1592 < TorgoX> tchrist was from the stratum of people who thought pod was a
1593 cheap and easy macro-preprocessor to nroff, and that's ALL. So
1594 if you got bonked output, you just put it in debug mode and
1595 looked at the troff and said "oh, right" and fixed your nroff.
1597 -!- mode/#perl [+b *!*@75.108.216.100!##php] by apeiron
1598 <@apeiron> Next time he gets ##freebasic.
1600 <@sungo> it's part of my complaint with sci fi future space ships
1601 <@sungo> if computers are in charge, some faggot will use php for a cli
1602 app and I'll end up inside out thanks to a transporter accident
1604 < hex> purl, be dhoss is also |<reply>if you're into
1605 stapling floppy veiny nasty ass old woman tit then sure
1609 <@mst> mateu: really, anything that fucking loads :)
1610 < mateu> i can blow a load does that count?
1611 <@t0m> does for your mom
1612 <@marcus> mateu: Please don't stick your dick into HTTP-Body
1614 < DeadZen> debugging that in yaws though was pretty hard though
1615 < DeadZen> sorry too much redundancy in my diet
1617 <@rjbs> Everything I know about England, I learned from Blackadder.
1619 Your generation did not invent the facepalm. It's probably been around since
1620 the caveman days; I can easily imagine Throg hitting his head repeatedly on
1621 a rock when Grognak tried to nasaly insert Fire again.
1622 - The View from Mt. Deja Vu - http://www.dadhacker.com/blog/?p=1188
1624 If you thought "Um, what's the the problem with that?" while reading any of
1625 the above, I don't want to know about it. Please go get a job at a competitor.
1626 - The Usual Madness - http://www.dadhacker.com/blog/?p=975
1628 < ew73> So, Geo::Coder::US # Neat module. requires downloading a metric
1629 shitton of data, and processing 24 more more imperial shittons of
1630 data to make a half-shitton berkley db file.
1631 < ew73> NOTE THE UNIT SWITCH. It is relevant to the pun.
1634 <@tomboh> I have figured out the cause of my mail server problem
1635 <@tomboh> I spelt my mum's name wrong :(
1637 < dwu> i believe I will send feedback. "instead of bearclaw, which i
1638 believe to be the correct interpretation, (b) became beer. would
1639 not emote again. A-----"
1641 <seven> Bull semen tastes of unborn cows. It's like liquid hamburger.
1643 <@sungo> YOU BORE ME RIGHT ROUND BABY RIGHT ROUND
1645 < fspeiser> if you have any really simple questions that can be found in
1646 easily available online documentation, please refer them to mst
1647 < fspeiser> he normally replies with a gracious and tempered response
1648 < fspeiser> and then sends you a picture of a puppy
1650 <@Alias_> Since there is 1!!!! module in the index that uses it
1652 <@Alias_> 1 x 1 x 1 x 1 = 1
1655 <@confound> but that isn't what you asked originally
1656 <@confound> <ask> I'm running Moose on a 2ghz P4 under linux 2.6.25. if
1657 I have a set of objects, what should I use?
1658 <@confound> <ask> also I am wearing pants
1661 <@sungo> beyond that, it's a romantic drama involving very tall smurfs
1663 < avar> It used to be the case that all of git's errors could be
1664 replaced with "FUCK YOU" with no loss of information
1666 < purge> facebook serves more than 150000 requests a second. impressive
1667 < purge> shame they still cant make the fucking photo browser work.
1669 * hercynium developed a rule early on - any woman who goes nuts over a
1670 "weekaversary" or something similar gets the boot immediately
1671 < hercynium> NO I DO NOT REMEMBER THE EXACT SECOND WE FIRST KISSED/HELD
1672 HANDS/HAD ORAL OK I MIGHT REMEMBER THAT ONE IF YOU REMIND ME
1674 -!- DrHyde is now known as hire-me-im-cheap-an
1675 -!- hire-me-im-cheap-an is now known as hire-me-5-dorrah
1676 <@_Dave> ah, venda are hiring
1677 -!- hire-me-5-dorrah is now known as venda-6-dorrah
1679 <@jhannah> hmm... why is Google Ads serving me "Mature Omaha Singles" ?
1680 <@jhannah> doesn't everyone search for "Omaha granny porn" ?
1682 * sungo just completed his yearly exercise
1683 * sungo just walked 2-3 miles in 14 inches of snow.
1684 <@sungo> I'm going to go die now
1686 <@hobbs> malloc, realloc, calloc, valloc, free, memalign
1688 <@hobbs> warning: phalloc arena corrupt
1689 <@apeiron> abort / retry / crossdress
1691 <@t0m> Github has more issues than the girls I go out with.
1693 < fedoragirl> I have mixed feelings about global warming
1694 < fedoragirl> part of me says "this could kill lots of people", but
1695 another part of me says "this means I don't have to kill
1696 lots of people to make an anarcho-communistic paradise"
1698 < ew73> I'll admit, I like my code to be colorful.
1699 < ew73> It makes me feel like I've accomplished something if it looks
1700 like Rainbow Brite committed sepuku on my terminal.
1702 < apeiron> perlbot's parser is, um
1703 < perlbot> apeiron: No factoid found. Did you mean one of these:
1704 [SuperJuerd] [safrican wanted you to know about "perl": perl]
1705 [spherical ducks in vacuum] [subversion]
1707 < Edmund> hm. The Obama administration has lifted the ban on the
1708 importation of haggis.
1709 < CraigD> that takes guts
1711 < avar> Lisp is an awesome language that generation after generation of
1712 programmers has masturbated over but nobody's seemingly written
1713 any libraries for it while doing so :)
1715 <@apeiron> ~/todo can, of course, be a symlink to somewhere.
1716 <@apeiron> Or it can have a setuid fifo on the other end taht writes it
1717 into a coworker's ~/todo.
1718 <@apeiron> (fifo's are way underused)
1720 < mauke> <stage2> Portability is for people who cannot write new programs.
1721 < cfedde> my software does not have wheels.
1722 < cfedde> or a handle
1723 < xenoterracide> my software is a paper airplane ... that's on fire
1725 <@clkao> useless airporr
1726 <@clkao> tpe air cpnteol equipmwnt failed
1727 <@clkao> one take off eveey 8min
1728 <@clkao> must be software
1730 <mst> so the question is: how much "I told you so" can I get away with
1731 without risking damage to my relationship or my genitalia
1733 <perigrin> usually those come in "both"
1735 <@t0m> u-foka: take the red pill, you know you wanna :)
1736 <@kd> $foo = [ [1,2,3],[4,5,6] ]
1738 <@kd> ^^ matrix reference
1740 < kthakore> mst: It is hilarious when people tell me to calm down
1741 < kthakore> mst: it makes me want to walk into their room at night and
1743 < kthakore> mst: when they are sleeping
1746 -!- apeiron is now known as |
1747 < |> BOLLOCKS IT'S REGISTERED
1748 -!- | is now known as apeiron
1750 * acme giggles about reversing an empty array
1751 <@mst> does it play a noise while it's reversing?
1752 <@Zefram> if by "noise" you mean segfault...
1754 < nigel> Quiet here today - is there some event or holiday I wasn't invited to?
1755 <@quicksilver> it's St Postgres' day.
1756 <@quicksilver> we're all doing a parade, mst is dressed up as a dragon wielding
1757 a chainsaw and robkinyon is a fair maiden on a unicorn.
1759 < quicksilver> there is always a benefit in not re-using your prototype
1761 < quicksilver> you get to make exactly the same mistakes afresh
1763 < oliver> evidence of mst's coding:...
1764 < oliver> # Created by Schema::Loader v0.06001 @ 2010-04-26 18:32:22
1765 < oliver> # DO NOT MODIFY THIS OR ANYTHING ABOVE! md5sum:hE53S0ibqt+FUCK+65pyiQ
1768 < LeoNerd> .oO( gstrings and buggers? defintely hometime )
1770 < tcisaft> Khisanth: I am sorry, but what matters if written Perl or
1771 PERL? I only know interpreter is always "perl" (lower caps)
1772 < mst> tcisaft: PERL is wrong and commonly used by people writing awful crap
1773 < tcisaft> I will use "PERL" book to level desk
1775 < lucas> that's why i tell people i use PHP
1776 < lucas> for the street cred
1777 <@perigrin> I'm sure that works.
1778 < lucas> well, it *is* pretty ghetto
1780 <@ew73> Girls respond to subtle physical cues. Body language goes a long
1781 way toward indicating your interst. Smile! make eye contact!
1782 Drip precum on her dress.
1784 <@dhoss> waltman: meh. my friend has a saying: women are like busses,
1785 there's one that comes by every 15 minutes
1786 <@perigrin> In russia, we have saying. Our women are like busses ...
1789 <mst> mostly I'm just scared that these people are paying lots of money
1790 to be taught by me and that I won't be good enough :)
1791 <rjbs> there's a talk about that on the internet somewhere
1793 <@seven> politics is the art of fucking the most inappropriate
1794 partner in the room with your clothes still on.
1796 <@triddle> cron is also * * * * * /bong/hit
1798 < Edmund> Alpakka: during the 1953 demonstrations in East Germany, the
1799 government at one point put out a statement that it had "lost
1800 confidence in the people". Berthold Brecht replied that in that
1801 case, the government should dissolve the people.
1803 <@Candybar> we can video the talks, technology wise
1804 <@Candybar> it is the agreements the speakers have to sign off on
1805 <@mst> er. previous YAPCs you just ask them. and they all usually sign.
1806 < arcanez> depends if I piss myself.
1808 < pdcawley> I have a theory that the 7/7 bombing had nothing to do with
1809 Al Qaida, it was in fact a bunch of Yorkshiremen who were
1810 pissed off with the cultural hegemony of the South East and
1811 were striking back in a foolish way.
1813 < Simon> ugh. I appear to have a cat hair flavour pizza for breakfast
1815 <@ew73> Oracle, responsible for the fall of Sparta -and- solar power.
1817 <@osfameron> nothingmuch++ # kiokudb
1818 <@osfameron> and mst++ # dbic
1819 <@osfameron> 2 great tastes that taste great together
1820 <@osfameron> um, that's kiokud+dbic, not nuffin+mst
1822 < ttmrichter> Refresh my memory: what's rebar?
1823 < Vagabond> its an erlang build system
1824 < Vagabond> in erlang
1825 < Vagabond> it does a pretty nice job, sometimes
1827 <@mst> "rape, pillage, *then* burn"
1828 <@sungo> look. if you dn't pillage FIRST you won't find all of them
1829 hiding under tables and boxes
1830 <@sungo> and it's *important* to rape ALL of them
1832 < mdk> Speaking as a member of the non-coding elite i am in fact
1833 controlled by my cat and he is a mysoginist as a female vet took
1836 22:16 <@perigrin> reading the reviews from YAPC::NA 2010
1837 22:17 <@perigrin> 1) more power cords 2) more power cords
1839 22:25 <@perigrin> also did I mention the power cords?
1841 < ner0x> What's the correct way to "die" in a controller?
1842 <@mst> ner0x: T-cut with a katana
1843 < Laidback_01> carefully, yet permanently. heart attack.
1844 < ner0x> I should have expected that.
1846 <@joel> went to a gig, told the singer that her boyfriend had all the musical
1847 talent, she couldn't sing but her dancing was really sexy.
1848 <@joel> ... holy crap, she added me on facebook
1849 <@joel> mental note: insult more serbians
1851 <@avar> GumbyBRAIN: Greg Kroah-Hartman is a total fucking douche, his
1852 kernel updates don't even come with a free blowjob.
1853 <@GumbyBRAIN> Greg kroah-hartman is a free blowjob. The -kernel- level,
1854 epoll tends to blur the control key.
1856 <@aef> A review for a tool box lists two negative points. One is that
1857 it's heavy if you fill it. The other is that you may need more
1858 than one if you have a lot of tools. Methinks the reviewer does
1859 not comprehend the restrictions imposed by basic physics.
1861 < mst> unfortunately the rest of the front row was six couples all with babies
1862 < mst> so every scream, every diaper change, I got completely woken up
1863 < wheels> mst: that's why you should bring ear plugs
1864 < wheels> mst: they fit nicely in the mouths of small children
1866 < Altreus> (first principles)++ # means I can edit ASP without knowing ASP
1867 < mst> If Some Human Readable Condition Then There's A Security Hole End
1870 < sng> ProTip: If you have a cluster and you're having problems but one
1871 cluster member is working perfectly Leave The One That Is Working
1874 <@epitaph> I am amused that wikipedia actually has an article on the chip
1875 butty. However nothing of the pie barm, which I think people
1876 think is an urban myth, like the battered Mars bar. I can
1877 assure you, neither is an urban myth
1879 < KaeseEs> i've generally preferred a gallon of hot magma poured into my
1880 anus to bugzilla. really the only thing that can be said for
1881 it is that it isn't fogbugz
1883 < xinming> When we use CGI, How do we get the POST header?
1884 < xinming> the CGI module.
1885 < edenc> hey, I just got a new 56k baud modem
1887 10:07 < random_> I am basically waiting for Pol to get up so I can have a
1888 shower and so on without waking him
1889 10:07 < random_> pol deserves a lie-in
1890 10:12 < pol> have a shower. I'm watching topgear
1892 <@hex> "The spec consists largely of C code copy-pasted from the VP8
1893 source code — up to and including TODOs, “optimizations”, and even
1895 <@hex> I believe the correct response to that is "LOLOLOLO"
1897 < TMM> sjuxax, if there is no '\0' supplied, either realloc or tell the
1898 other end to fuck off
1899 < Jafet> Also known as strnyahnyahcpy
1901 < tm604> domin: You are closing STDOUT.
1902 < tm604> domin: There is nowhere for the print to go.
1903 < tm604> Your code therefore shares the same unfortunate environmental
1904 limitations as a bonsai kitten.
1906 <@cwest> I am not going to waste my time shooting you in the head.
1907 <@cwest> There are several perfectly serviceable holes already in place.
1909 <@KjetilK> funnily enough, Oslo's main street still carries the name of
1910 the Swedish king who first occupied us
1913 <@perigrin> "Waking up when you got a baby, you feel like you drank a
1914 bottle of whiskey the night before, except the shit's in
1915 someone else's pants."
1916 <@perigrin> They need that on Onezies.
1918 * joel giggles at mst's quotefile
1919 <@joel> I also seem to be in there s depresing number o f times
1920 <@joel> i have said a lot of stupid shit :(
1921 <@joel> *a depressing
1923 < ew73> I worked on a project a couple years ago that had the requirement
1924 that at least 50% of the lines be commented.
1925 < ew73> I broke them of that particular habit when I delivered a documented,
1926 functional product that had a short story in the comments.
1928 < theory> mst: Put down the crack dude
1929 < mst> I have no crack. why do you think I'm so fucking grumpy?
1931 < theory> mst: botsnack
1933 15:00 <@ilmari> $ date
1934 15:00 <@ilmari> mercredi 13 octobre 2010, 15:58:55 (UTC+0200)
1935 15:01 <@ilmari> LE KHAAAAAAN!
1937 < mst> if looking in the dump does not show DROPs, they are not there
1938 < mst> the trick is to stop, look, think, and apply logic
1939 < RORgasm> mst: i did, i was using a tool to create the dump files
1940 < mst> the dump files were definitely created by a tool, yes.
1942 <@rjbs> Yeah, I never understood "it tastes better if you make it yourself."
1943 <@mst> rjbs: I dunno. seems to work for semen.
1944 <@rjbs> We've secretly replaced mst's semen with Folgers crystals. Let's
1945 see if he notices ...... <distant screaming>
1947 < mst> but $mdk->wife likes it. (ed: Little Shop of Horrors)
1948 < fspeiser> his wife is a method ?
1949 < mst> his wife is a belongs_to.
1951 < denny> I think you'll find that research proved that most people will
1952 give up /a/ password for a chocolate bar
1953 < denny> offer me chocolate and I'll tell you a string. It won't get you
1954 into any of my accounts though.
1956 < jeffl> some guy just came into the office where i'm working to speak
1957 about getting vegetables for his restaurant here in Napa call
1959 < jeffl> his name was Lenny so i suggested he change the name to debian 5
1961 <@sungo> they asked what severity level it was. At my instruction, my
1962 coworker phrased it as such: it's important but let me put it
1963 this way. I'm making the call and sungo isn't. So we're not
1966 < DrForr> DJ_Vicious: Seeing as you haven't detailed what bot this is,
1967 where you found it, what version it runs on, what perl you're
1968 using, you're lucky you're not getting recommendations like
1969 "Warning: Will make demons fly out your nose."
1971 <@Zefram> owning multiple instances of the same clothes is very convenient
1972 <@Zefram> I've worked out what clothes work well for me; I don't want to
1973 have to work it out again every morning
1975 <@jjl> obviously i can't hold a candle to how joel used to dress...
1976 <@Zefram> sure you can, it's the best way to apply cleansing fire
1978 < confound> HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I CHUG PINTS
1980 <@pndc> I can recommend Date's ironically-named "Introduction to Database
1981 Systems" if you're having difficuulty sleeping.
1982 <@pndc> It's also very heavy so you can use it to LART people who use MySQL.
1984 <@rjbs> Toodle pip, chin chin, bob's your uncle, COCK FESTIVAL.
1986 < initself> perlbot: increase karma tm604 onehundredfold
1987 < perlbot> initself: No factoid found. Did you mean one of these: [i'm
1988 sorry you got your dick stuck in a cdrom hole]
1990 < ttmrichter> anykey: SIGABRT is what you send to the manager's mother
1991 after you construct your time machine and go back....
1993 < PerfDave> Whoo, had my eyes tested, my eyesight still pwns.
1994 < n0body> you get the laser vision upgrade?
1995 < PerfDave> Yes, I can now destroy Python just by looking at it.
1997 < nanonyme> Hmm, my coffee tastes like spoon. :(
1999 * tannie ponders what to call her beer when it's done...
2000 <@tannie> the can with the eh.. beerstarter said 'Gold'
2001 <@tannie> so I was thinking "Tannie's Gold"
2003 <@mst> mmcleric: currently, you are attempting to overengineer it
2004 <@rjbs> mmcleric: You are talking about building a massive cloaking device
2005 designed by an army of engineers in order to hide a sandwich.
2007 * nanonyme turns Altreus into a princess
2010 * Altreus is never seen again
2012 <@DrHyde> mythology has been going down-hill ever since one of the
2013 egyptian gods made the stars by having a wank and splattering
2014 man^Wgod-juice across the sky
2016 <+LotR> why should you ignore easyjet for LON->AMS? it's only an hour
2017 <@mst> I suspect because he hates flying easyjet
2018 <+LotR> well yes, but it's only an hour. how bad could it be
2019 <@jjl> i take it you've not flown easyjet then?
2021 <@sungo> what the shit
2022 <@sungo> the drobo dashboard sends a port 5002 packet a second on all interfaces
2023 <@sungo> "looking for drobos" lulz
2024 < dngor> Distributed denial of sense.
2026 <@jrockway> an error message should not require interaction
2027 <@jrockway> if it fits in 80x25 and you can determine what you need to
2028 look at, it's a success
2029 <@jrockway> right now, it's more like 80x2500 :)
2031 <@mst> never ever say "I just need"
2032 <@mst> any time you find yourself about to say that to me, go amputate
2033 and foot and stick it in your mouth instead
2034 <@mst> it'll be quicker and less painful
2036 <@rjbs> zenophobia, fear of very slow artillery
2038 < cwest> Domesticated animals can't survive on their own. They need the
2039 intervention of a human, such as myself. They get very annoying when
2040 no intervention is offered. Case in point, my former chihuahua who
2041 peed on my head at 5am because I refused to wake up and take him out.
2043 < mst> useful lesson: uri and I almost never agree. when we do, listen closely.
2044 < DrForr_> And break out the guns.
2045 * uri shoots DrForr_ at mst
2046 < DrForr_> Actually given mst and uri, break out the howitzers.
2048 <@ribasushi> mst: I have nothing to show other than ideas, so I won't argue
2049 <@ribasushi> mst: just know that you're wrong :)
2051 <@mst> I am right. I just don't know how to prove it yet.
2053 < quotemstr> Using cmd.exe as an excuse not to fix bugs elsewhere is like
2054 saying that we don't need good government because Sarah
2057 "Samsung claims that the battery can power "up to 7 hours" of video
2058 playback. If you absolutely must watch Lawrence of Arabia twice in
2059 succession, the Tab would be 12 minutes short of accommodating your
2060 inordinate love of sand." -- Rik Myslewski on The Register
2062 * p5changes_clone2909 Father Chrysostomos pushed to blead ([perl.git]
2063 branch blead, updated. v5.13.6-503-ge160348): Father Chrysostomos:
2064 Oops. I need to learn how to use git add.;
2065 http://perl5.git.perl.org/perl.git/commit/e1603486
2067 < ner0x> I'm in ##linux on freenode trying to help someone. I know I can
2068 fix his problem because I've been on linux 10+ years. He can't
2069 give me a straight fucking answer. Pretty annoying.
2070 < ner0x> I assume it's pretty much how you feel when you talk to me.
2072 < CoolKid10> for school, in 7thgrate ap computers, i want to impress my class
2073 < n00p> CoolKid10: You want to be called a geek?
2074 < CoolKid10> i am a geek:( i know vb I can even make a batch script!
2075 < Zhivago> Cool: i suggest that you render naked exploding ladies.
2077 < HellKat> the clock itself is set to UTC but it has a weather
2078 facility too - if you set the GPS coordinates
2079 < HellKat> temps right, weather however is wrong, comp says cloudy,
2080 looking outside says raining
2082 <kaitlyn> I've found, "No sweetie, I /am/ listening, I just do it really
2083 fast and jump ahead of your thought process" doesn't really help.
2085 < TorgoX> The welbutrin is probably the cause, probably potentiated by the
2086 others, of not really being hungry. Until someone says "FOOD
2087 IS NICE" and then ten minutes pass and then I WANT TO EAT THE
2088 CONTENTS OF THE FRIDGE AND THEN POSSIBLY THE FRIDGE DOOR ITSELF.
2090 < dstorrs> I've got a girlfriend, a company, a personal life, and a novel
2091 that I've been neglecting, all needing time. I don't feel the
2092 need to spend my precious remaining tuits learning MongoDB when
2093 it seems a lot like all the bad parts of MySQL from the 90s.
2096 <@joel> "you know what goes good with a taco?"
2097 <@joel> i want to respond "grammar lessons"
2099 < genehack> you just 'use bitter::experience', run your code, and it
2100 tells you that the project is being led by somebody with no
2101 political capital and the budget will get cut next quarter
2102 < genehack> so you might as well fuck off and go drinking
2104 < ether> don't anthropomorphize computers; they *hate* that!
2106 * denny- pokes denny in the face with a brick
2107 -!- denny [~denny@home.denny.me] has quit [Killed (mst (DEATH BY BRICK))]
2108 -!- denny- is now known as denny
2109 * denny keeps the brick, goes looking for $ISP
2111 < talexb> "A poor craftsman blames his tools"
2112 < Su-Shee> a door craftsman blames the stools.
2113 < Altreus> A poor craftsman blames his fools. tools! damn keyboard
2115 <@osfameron> awwww, bluetit!
2116 <@osfameron> I do miss this in the offfice
2117 <@ilmari> osfameron: if the tits are getting blue you might want to
2118 loosen the ropes a bit
2120 <@pndc> Burnt-out contractors cry themselves to sleep on a pillow made of
2123 On the morale of the staff of $shop, as provided by an ex employee:
2124 Sysadmin: "Well, it's a job. It's not a great one, but it's a job."
2125 Programmer: "We're on 80 hour weeks for the next 6 months, I'm going to die."
2126 NOC: <censored to protect you from hearing lots of cursing>
2128 <@erikh> gah, stupid heisenbug
2129 <@erikh> inspect the result and it goes away
2130 < \yrlnry> "I have to find this before I run out of cats."
2132 <@osfameron> Jimmy Wales seems to be resistant to adblock
2134 <@BinGOs> Unladen Swallow sounds like a porn-star name.
2136 < ktm5124> Zhivago: When are you going to adopt me? Let's make it official
2137 <@Zhivago> ktm: When euthanasia becomes legal.
2139 <@kyriel> COCKKNOCK. Who's there?
2140 <@kyriel> [i have no joke here]
2142 <@dngor> That was the second to last book I ever loaned out. The last
2143 one was my Principia Discordia, and that has two punchlines.
2144 <@dngor> 1. I didn't really expect it to come back. I mean, really.
2145 <@dngor> 2. The guy I loaned it to died.
2147 < nanonyme> I swear, some day I'm gonna write code that can rewrite
2148 itself so I can just go drink beer while it's doing so.
2150 <@Zefram> so if I kill a hooker to make glue out of her, rather than to
2151 have sex with her corpse, does that make it not murder?
2152 * virtualsue moves away from Zefram
2153 <@Zefram> virtualglue: don't panic
2155 <@HellKat> void sungo = NULL;
2156 <@HellKat> * *grumbl* void *sungo = NULL;
2157 <@geoffeg> jesus, what is that? a pointer to a pointer of a pointer of grumbl?
2158 <@sungo> if there's a grumble struct, I will POINT TO IT AS HARD AS I CAN
2160 <@Zhivago> blackhole: It sounds as though you have been possessed by the
2161 ghost of a retarded man.
2162 <@Zhivago> blackhole: I suggest that you work to overcome this.
2164 < tm604> please wait, an operator will be with you shortly
2165 * LeoNerd ponders no operators;
2166 < tm604> LeoNerd: I think that's use BT::TechSupport;
2169 <@sungo> what perigrin is saying is: fuck your family. make him happy and
2171 <@chargrill> sungo: good plan
2172 <@perigrin> do it once and the problem solves itslef.
2174 <@dhoss> am i over thinking this? i think i am
2175 <@mst> "where table1=table1.table1_id"
2177 <@sungo> perhaps you should think about it at ALL first
2179 < Zhivago> It's like trying to measure a human hair by using an angry bear.
2180 < Zhivago> You'd need to do the comparison many times in order to
2181 increase the resolution sufficiently to tell you anything, and
2182 there are less stupid approaches.
2184 <@rjbs> Oh, carrying the carseat will suck.
2185 <@sungo> fedex your kids
2186 <@rjbs> I did that last year, and they STILL haven't found the box with
2189 < sie> Zhivago, go to hell faggot
2190 -!- mode/##c [+q sie!*@*] by Zhivago
2191 <@Zhivago> A little quiet contemplation is called for.
2193 <@HellKat> mako132: no one's ever bought me a strapon *pouts*
2194 <@mako132> HellKat: have you written to santa? Included an example URL?
2195 <@HellKat> mako132: "Hey santa claus you cunt, where's me fuckin strapon,
2196 i ordered one last year and all i got was a damned speculum"
2198 <@joel> "Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will
2199 be a violent psychopath who knows where you live."
2200 <@joel> - Martin Golding
2201 <@joel> I can only assume mst knows that he /is/ that psychopath
2203 < nanonyme> If "most people" got to decide, we'd probably never have left
2204 the trees because they seem safer.
2206 <@t0m> strace is your friend :)
2207 <@mst> t0m: he's on win32
2208 <@t0m> ohhh. Hahahaha, bad luck
2210 <@pndc> Oh, I have some rules.
2211 <@pndc> 1) I'm not drinking any more of that Black Dog whisky.
2212 <@pndc> 2) Steal underpants.
2215 <@ilmari> friends don't let friends use internet explorer
2216 <@tannie> enemies on the other hand...
2217 <@PerfDave> Said friend needs to use Internet Explorer to get money
2218 <@DrHyde> said friend should consider whoring. it's more respectable
2220 < Dom> Like all vegetables, sprouts should be soft and runny. Unlike the
2221 cake, which should be rock hard and contain 2-3 bottles of brandy.
2222 < Yady> Dom: Makes me wonder if it'd be better if the cake were soft and runny
2223 and the vegetables were rock hard and contained 2-3 bottles of brandy.
2225 * Zefram thinks he would have difficulty joining the Lib Dems aged 10
2226 <@Zefram> since (a) I didn't
2227 <@Zefram> (b) I don't have a time machine
2228 <@Zefram> and (c) the Lib Dems didn't exist then
2230 <@waltman> speaking of which...at one point tonight my brother-in-law got
2231 mad at his dog and called it a "son of a bitch"
2232 <@waltman> Seems to me that's not much of an insult when directed at a DOG.
2234 < jrockway> i have figured out one source of my confusion
2235 < jrockway> apparently there is a library called jssockets, and one
2237 < jrockway> the first one is the first result for the second google search
2240 <@perigrin> cmuttrun
2241 <@perigrin> runmuttrun
2244 ASR: We took both pills.
2245 -- snarfed from Jan Ingvoldstad's sigmonster
2247 < seven> I should... drink more.
2248 < dngor> The voices only bring me trouble. I should stop listening to them.
2249 < seven> dngor, I agree. Unless a voice told you to say that. In which
2252 < dngor> Where are the rules posted for this drinking game?
2253 < seven> If you lose an argument to yourself, take a drink.
2254 < seven> If you can't distinguish the voices from shared reality, take a drink.
2255 < seven> If the elephant tells you to, take a drink.
2257 <@sungo> the damning thing here is that I can sit at the table with the
2258 ipad, 3gs and 4 spaced apart to rule out local interference.
2259 <@sungo> ipad: full signal. 3gs: full signal. 4: hurr durr I like puppies
2262 < davetoo> that's a pun, son
2263 < mauke> pun indented
2264 * pragma_ facepalms.
2266 <@SlayerXP> acme: i paid £3.00 for my breakfast sarnie with three fillings
2267 <@SlayerXP> you have a choice of bacon, egg and sausage.
2268 <@SlayerXP> I chose bacon, bacon and bacon.
2270 <@DrForr> purl, be jdf
2271 <+purl> Hi, I'm using Perl, DBI, Oracle, a banana, two pieces of the
2272 Berlin Wall, a Chevy truck, a pound of compost, a goose, another
2273 goose and some spam, but I get a syntax error. Help!
2275 "So this SEO copywriter walks into a bar, grill, pub, public
2276 house, Irish bar, bartender, drinks, beer, wine, liquor"
2278 < Rome0> i don't want to get fired lol
2280 < Su-Shee> I'm sorry but 99.9% open source media tools are a piece of
2281 shit in terms of usability. they might be powerful technically
2282 - but to actually _use_ them: they can fuck a goat.
2285 * BinGOs apologises for a) Football analogy b) stereotypical racial slurring
2286 <@Zefram> but you're not apologising for invading Poland?
2287 <@BinGOs> I never invaded Poland.
2288 <@Getty> yeah that was me
2290 < Aerdan> Bry8Star: I'm only going to say this once, so listen closely.
2291 < Aerdan> Bry8Star: FUCKING DO WHAT WE'VE BEEN FUCKING TELLING YOU TO
2292 FUCKING DO OR WE CANNOT FUCKING HELP YOU FUCKING FIX YOUR
2293 FUCKING PROBLEMS, FSCKING FSCK.
2296 Twitter - I need to pee | Quora - Why am I peeing?
2297 Facebook - I peed! | LinkedIn - I pee well
2298 Foursquare - I'm peeing here | Myspace - Pee on me!
2300 < jeeger> UTF-8 porn! Wet'n'wild characters!
2301 < LeoNerd> Barely Legal Codepoints
2302 < DrForr> Hot glyph-on-glyph composition
2303 < LeoNerd> "Come see my surrogate pair"
2305 < quicksilver> [ad guys] would undoubtedly use a computer for execution
2306 < quicksilver> but for concepts they all used paper
2307 < quicksilver> generally big paper and fat pens
2308 < quicksilver> like rolf harris without the kazoo
2310 < Simon> as an aside, Evil Boss once received a hands-free kit from all
2311 his employees for xmas, because we were fed up with him driving
2312 at 110mph while holding a phone to his ear while we were in the
2315 [andy] the yearbook committee at my daughter's school called me, they
2316 weren't sure i really wanted to buy the ad "I can haz a yearbook ad"
2319 < mdk> idn is on the loose
2320 <@mst> mdk: about this hoose?
2321 * PerfDave gets his pith helmet and idn net
2323 Q: How many Surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
2324 A: Two ... one to change the bulb and one to put a typewriter in the
2325 bathtub with the giraffe
2327 < Lexie> I just accidentally called cuba.
2329 <@mst> mordy: I think it's retarded and going to shoot you in the genitals.
2330 <@ether> mst: yes but some people like holes there
2331 <@perigrin> ether: having production code give you a prince albert isn't
2332 something most people look for
2334 < Araii> Drama on my forum.
2335 < Araii> It needs to stop.
2336 < mst> that's what the banhammer is for.
2337 < sungo> and failing that, an actual hammer
2339 In any city in Britain you can tell where you are from the graffiti. Last
2340 summer I spotted a scrawl that read "David Miliband is handsome," and
2341 knew I must be in Camden. Last week, a taxi driver pointed out a complex
2342 equation spray-painted on a white wall; it was clear I was in Cambridge.
2344 < apeiron> yeah, no.
2346 < apeiron> 2. Net::IRC is deprecated
2347 < apeiron> 3. FUCKING LISTEN TO ME YOU NO GOOD GOATFUCKING SACK OF PIG SHIT
2349 -!- shminux has joined #freenode
2350 < shminux> staffers, the founder of ##physics passed away over a year
2351 ago, maybe it's time to do an orderely transfer?
2352 -!- ravenlock has quit [Quit: He's dead, Jim.]
2354 < squeeky> gah, I'm a friggin idiot.
2355 * bigpresh hears the faint sound of a facepalm
2356 * Sound of a facepalm
2357 -!- squeeky [squeeks@elsker.kanal2.net] has left #perl ["TURBO FACEPALM"]
2359 < thrig> Net::IRC + XML::Simple + Switch.pm ... and then you wake up
2361 <@cfedde> In python it seems that there is typicaly one right way to do
2362 things... that no one uses.
2364 < pol> An IPv4 allocation walks into a bar. The barman asks "A large
2365 CIDR?". The allocation answers "No, I'm exhausted"
2368 < kd> sender -> attacker -> recipient
2369 < kd> if the attacker and the recipient are the same person
2370 < kd> then CRYPTO DOES NOT WORK
2372 < wheels> The thing is that for a lot of the things that you shouldn't
2373 really use CouchDB for, you get a similar API that performs
2374 better with MongoDB. Except that you shouldn't use MongoDB
2375 either because it's a steaming pile.
2377 < Panda> Its easier than Gradians 3. Fighting blueprints is hard.
2378 < Rahm> Panda, that was the worst pun ever.
2379 < mst> maybe he's a polar panda
2380 < Rahm> I take it back.
2383 * sungo just found a help doc that involved putting apache behind nginx
2384 because nginx apparently can't do things like ssl
2385 * sungo loads the shotgun
2387 < CanyonMan> i made a megahal and hooked it to our openfire at work,
2388 < CanyonMan> and when I step away from my desk, it pretends to be me
2389 < CanyonMan> People seem very confused by it, but nobody has walked up to
2390 me and punched me or anything
2392 < cutiemuffin> mango juice is not better than choking on dick
2393 < cutiemuffin> mango juice feels like you're going to die
2395 < valdier> This is perl, version 5.004_04 built for aix, Copyright 1987-1997
2397 < Khisanth> I think there are people in here younger than your perl
2399 < kd> If I named my computers after the different types of surgery I had
2400 performed on me, they would all be called vasectomy
2402 <LeoNerd> My usual argument is "if you're going to put tabs in, I'll
2403 start using other ECMA-48 control sequences".
2404 <LeoNerd> Mmm... such as Set Cursor Advancement Direction
2405 <LeoNerd> "n\dlrow olleh" yas
2407 < lostinfog> oh [{((([{<<<{
2408 <@frew> }>>>}][))}] ?
2409 <@mst> these are your father's parentheses
2410 <@frew> did....did he keep them in his anus in 'nam?
2412 <@Yaakov> So we heard from the insurance company about our totalled car...
2413 <@Yaakov> It was a 2000 Buick we bought 5 years ago. We paid $5,000.
2414 <@Yaakov> We reluctantly accepted their offer of $4,600 as a settlement.
2415 <@Yaakov> And then fell over.
2417 <@avar> now 30% left of delta!
2418 <@avar> was 70% before, whee
2419 <@avar> This is going much better now that I had a couple of beers and
2420 took the viewpoint that nobody deserves a perldelta, but still.
2422 <@arcanez> gphat++ # "mysql is ok if you tickle it right"
2423 < szbalint> and by tickle it right: you jam a bunch of feathers up your ass
2425 < edenc> the only bang maps I had in 2004 were the routes to 3 brothels
2427 < cfedde> there you go.
2430 < qiyong> mauke, why kick me? what law i violated?
2431 < mauke> qiyong: sentience
2433 < f00li5h> if you're on fire, and you ask someone to help you with
2434 directions, you'd expect them to put you out first
2435 < DrForr> The other underlying problem is if they're on fire they're
2436 usually too busy running around screaming to listen to anyone.
2438 < apeiron> Because that's smart.
2440 < apeiron> fucking stupid fucking programmers
2441 * apeiron gets a chainsaw
2443 < QtPlatypus> hale: Is english your second language or are you a cat?
2445 < Altreus> phpmyadmin is useful -- it's much easier to tweak a glob of HTML
2446 text in a form field than to try to put it on the command line
2447 < Altreus> you might be wondering why there's full HTML in the database
2450 <@pndc> Funnily, all of the people I know from Yorkshire drink like fish.
2451 Probably because there's not much else to do on long winter evenings.
2452 <@pndc> I did meet one chap who didn't drink beer, but it turned out he
2453 was actually from the Midlands.
2455 * hercynium hugs purl
2456 * purl hugs hercynium back
2457 * hercynium pets the bot
2458 * purl furiously humps hercynium's leg
2460 <@sungo> I have this sudden vision of sex with francis bean while Smells
2461 Like Teen Spirit plays.
2462 <@sungo> she'd be crying.
2463 <@sungo> to be fair, most women that have sex with me cry openly.
2465 < mst> shame it isn't shaped like a large black rubber cock then
2466 < Renasci> mst just wants one in him
2467 < mst> alice tried that. it didn't fit.
2468 < Panda> If that was the c- dammit matt.
2470 <@confound> your users are put off by anything more complicated by a stick
2471 and even then they'd just poke themselves in the eye with it
2473 <@ether> I have no solution for this other than to stay on my ivory tower
2474 and try to silo off my code away from the idiots
2476 < theorbtwo> He could have tried ringing the bell.
2477 < castaway> we should add flashing leds..
2478 < mdk> And a sign that lights up when you knock declaring "ring the
2479 flipping bell 'tard"
2481 < michae1m> frew: looks like CSTA might sit on top of SIP (or other things)
2482 < michae1m> like appletalk over TCP/IP
2484 <@mdk> timebot: scadmion:conversation about quote in PROJECT:45
2485 < timebot> mdk: unknown project scadmion; add it to the map?
2486 <@mdk> timebot: fuck you it's late and I've been working a lot
2487 < timebot> mdk: invalid duration : must match /^\d+$/ (patches welcome)
2489 <@rjbs> wait is "cleansing" slang for a blowjob now?
2490 < hercynium> if it can be used to refer to cunnilingus I could claim to
2491 have participated in "ethnic cleansing"
2493 < apeiron> Except PHP is a pile of goat shit infected with AIDS.
2494 < apeiron> And that's on a good day.
2496 < mst> nanonyme: warning: CMSes are generally a lesson in pure liquid hate
2497 < thrig> * liquid state depends on pressure and temperature. hate may be
2498 gaseous. Check your hate supplier for details.
2500 * cat-xeger snuffles and snivels
2501 * mst hugs cat-xeger and passes the coffee pot
2502 * cat-xeger returns 418
2504 08:06 < shevek> A man is waving a live pig.
2505 08:07 * random ponders what to do to .... eh?
2506 08:09 < random> you can't just leave that one there shevek...
2507 08:10 < Dom> It depends on how happy the pig is
2509 < TorgoX> Since I figured out a compromise between sh and csh (give up on
2510 quotes, just \ everything), I thought OH SURELY CMD.EXE MUST
2511 ALSO OH GOD MY HEAD WITH A MALLET
2513 Person 1: “look a raptor for Perl 5″
2514 Person 2: “Yeah they’re all dinosaurs, hahahaha”
2515 Person 1: “Hahahaha…erk”
2518 00:15 -!- sungo_nook has joined
2519 00:16 < sungo_nook> I'M SO HAPPY I'LL STAB YOUR ASS
2520 00:35 < sungo_nook> i hate you all
2521 00:35 -!- sungo_nook has quit [Quit: nooky]
2523 < TorgoX> [rousing] "Should oooooold acquaintance beeeee forgot, and
2524 never brought to mind?..." Wait. Magic 8-ball says: YES. OK,
2525 done. Is this Ceremony open-bar?
2527 <@ct> everything in the iOS SDK is named like
2528 itsMotherfuckingVariableTimeCanIGetAHellYeah
2530 <@stevan> get your boss to hire us as consultants and we will pollute
2531 your water supply with OSS fever
2532 <@stevan> (basically by pissing in the coffee pots, but dont tell anyone
2533 thats how it spreads)
2535 < joel> "I'm into leather, uniform, and I never practice unsafe metaclass
2538 <@preaction> but I thought 80% of statistics were made up on the spot
2539 * spot wishes people would stop making up statistics on me
2541 * rjbs asks "do you swallow?"
2542 <@rjbs> Very few applicants correctly respond, "I snowball."
2544 <@mdk> Tickets f MK ar booke
2545 <@mdk> Ths keyboard s annn smeme
2548 < kate> edenc: followed by the 'moon on a stick' button, in a new colour
2549 no ones ever seen before, on a page I'd like you to guess,
2550 yesterday. thanks :)
2552 < Supermous> oh bother. spice has discovered she can reach my wind chime
2553 < Labrat> hang it higher or chop a bit of your cat
2555 <@kyriel> I incurred an ankle inversion while chasing a bunch of raping ducks
2557 -!- theorbtwo is now known as bronzebeard
2558 <@bronzebeard> Yarr!
2559 <@bronzebeard> Wait, pirate, not dwarf.
2560 -!- bronzebeard is now known as redbeard
2562 * Dorward has taken to writing down usernames and passwords on post it
2563 notes and hiding them in the battery compartment of remote controls.
2565 <@PerfDave> I'm sure most perl mongers would forego a pint to save a pony
2567 <@mst> depends. do I get to eat the pony afterwards?
2568 <@richardc> I might have someone hold my pint while I shoot it
2570 > We, as their ops team, have informed them that, as java developers, they
2571 > should be used to getting fucked in the ass. We're just going to
2572 > shove one more thing up there.
2573 What's one more dick when you already have XML shoved in there?
2577 < frew> there's a nail in this mango!
2579 < sng> Real question I was just asked "How do you restart PHP?"
2580 < epitaph> I agree it needs doing. Remove all repos and do the thing over
2581 < sng> Sadly that's not what he meant.
2583 -!- B2BF [~User@81-95-215-194.pool.linky.ru] has joined #perl
2586 < Su-Shee> need more sentence.
2588 <@sungo> cat-xeger: we're just not that kind of person. If the job
2589 doesn't follow me home, I usually go back and tie it to my leg
2591 < thrig> I mention vendorisms in the event someone else stumbles into the
2592 sideshow-bob-in-rake-factory that is Linux
2594 < cessna> -- someone asked me what /root directory was for, i told them
2595 it is where the superuser stores his porn collection
2597 * kent\n knows somebody with a black lab huntaway cross, I swear, people
2598 should breed armies of those things because they could be a renewable
2602 <@joel> I ran Activity Monitor to see where all my CPU was going
2603 <@joel> activitymonitord is using >70% of it
2604 <@joel> FUCK YOU JOBS
2606 < TorgoX> I think AI, in the form of ~distributed~ stupidity, has
2607 emerged. Its neurons are Excel spreadsheets, and its synapses
2608 are PowerPoint presentations.
2610 <@joel> circumcision caused me to be stuck in an office with a man who
2611 likes anal fisting enough to tattoo himself with it?
2612 <@fahad> joel: I though you said it was on the back of his neck, not he
2613 arse crack. and what are you doing looking down there any way?
2615 <@ribasushi> I am going to pretend I didn't see that, and let you think
2616 for 20 secs before you say something dumb again
2618 < mst> Altreus: use Moose::Autobox; my @list = $thing->flatten;
2619 * sirgrim crosses legs
2620 < sirgrim> do not talk about flattening things while i'm unprepared
2622 < ew73> BUSINESS CASUAL IN PORTLAND IS WHEN YOU WEAR PANTS AND A SHIRT
2623 WITH 2 OR MORE BUTTONS
2625 <@f0rk> purl, be sungo
2626 <+purl> god i need heroin for this
2628 <@mako132> chargrill: how come everytime I eat a 1/2lb of bacon you call
2630 <@mst> mako132: he's a hiporkrite
2631 <@nperez> sadtrombone.com
2633 <@perigrin> ct: ping?
2634 <@ubu> no route to bacon.
2636 <@sungo> phone menu systems need an option for "we're about to put you on
2637 hold. press 2 if you'd like us to stop playing this shitty music"
2639 <@perigrin> okay according to my modem I'm rate limited to 25Mbps
2640 <@perigrin> according to speed tests I get roughly 12 out of it
2641 <@ct> this is the point where I'm supposed to feel sorry for you? :)
2642 <@ct> I'd throat punch a priest for 12
2644 <@joel> Vim(28194,0x100c04000) malloc: *** error for object 0x10189de00
2645 <@osfameron> how did you do that?
2646 <@joel> changing tabs!
2647 <@osfameron> see, tabs *ARE* evil!
2649 -!- Netsplit *.net <-> *.split quits: nhandler
2650 < mrmist> did we just lose something?
2651 < tomaw> lindbohm fell off the internet
2652 * mrmist searches under the internet
2654 16:14 <@LeoNerd> Any case I find is either snug around but too short, or long
2655 enough but way too loose and wide
2656 16:14 <@LeoNerd> (please don't quote me out of context, but) my lens is just
2659 < LeoNerd> You do know, however, if you write a proper C interpreter in
2660 Perl, I -will- try running the perl VM using it. ;)
2661 < Khisanth> perl inside perl inside perl ... ?
2662 < LeoNerd> Someone heard I like Perl, you see
2664 * lbr has a non-functional desire hd
2665 <@lbr> apparantly you're not supposed to spill beer on them
2667 < casimir> one sec, client on phone asking me what FTP is....
2669 < Altreus> the plural of manager is hindrance
2671 < Hor|zon> hmm that wouldn't have helped I don't think, after I said
2672 "it's just a plain TCP socket I'm reading and writing to"
2673 < Hor|zon> and he asked if that means apache
2674 < Hor|zon> and then we had a blank staring contest until he went away
2676 < mauke_> well, fuck you too
2677 < mst> and the horse you rode in on?
2678 < LeoNerd> "and the horse, in upon which, you rode" surely? :)
2679 < mst> LeoNerd: fuck you and the pedantry you rode in on.
2681 Day changed to Friday 13 May
2683 <@sungo> I was done with this day on wednesday
2685 Day changed to 21 May 2011
2686 03:55 -!- Netsplit *.net <-> *.split quits: @warewolf, GumbyBRAIN, Robrt
2687 03:57 <@apeiron> looks like warewolf got raptured.
2689 * BinGOs had to get the washing in before the rapture started.
2691 <@Zefram> rain of fire and earthquakes?
2692 <@BinGOs> I always confuse precipitation and prophecy
2694 * Alyssa gives Phin a halberd.
2695 < Alyssa> Because people don't use them enough
2696 < Alyssa> It's a spear with an AXE on it!
2697 < Alyssa> What's NOT to like?!
2699 <@sungo> our college radio station couldn't afford the fcc broadcast license
2700 so they attached the wire to the sewer lines for the college
2701 <@sungo> to get great reception, you had to put your radio in the sink
2703 < epitaph> you hear about the dyslexic devil worshippers? They'd been
2704 warned abobut santa, but sacrificed a toga
2706 "Actors or monads, the state is out there and you will have to reason about
2707 it somewhere. But better you reason about it in a well bounded shallow grave
2709 -- gbracha.blogspot.com
2711 < jtal> I dont think firefox hates me. it feels more like playful harrasment
2713 <@sungo> I'm glad I've already lost hope for humanity
2715 < iHercynium> "we are accelerating innovation and leveraging untapped
2716 potential in emerging markets"
2717 < iHercynium> And predict a 20% increase in DONGS IN ASS BY THE END OF 2012
2719 <@rjbs> people who can't enjoy gluten are sub-human
2720 <@rjbs> and I don't say that lightly. my sister can't have it.
2721 <@rjbs> but the day I drowned her in the river, I knew I was doing the
2724 * epitaph runs across a quote from Alvin Toffler: "You've got to think
2725 about big things while you're doing small things, so that all the
2726 small things go in the right direction."
2727 < epitaph> - work that out all on your own, did you, Sherlock?
2729 < sng> The fact that so much of my youth was spent watching britcoms
2730 explains a LOT about me today. :)
2731 < epitaph> yes, you almost seem human, For an American ;)
2733 < Demonen> Minecraft is _insane_ digital crack.
2734 < Demonen> OH, and I made one plugin I can't even pretend to release...
2735 < Demonen> You type /JIHAD (all upper case, or it won't happen) to
2736 explode with the force of 3 blocks of TNT
2738 < mako132> i spilled chicken shwarma dressing all over the front of my shirt
2739 < mako132> it looks like a horse blew its load on me
2741 < thrig> morse code via USR1 and USR2 signals
2742 < vincent> thrig: I wrote that!
2743 < vincent> but it wasn't a good idea
2745 <@quicksilver> osfameron: whats a dancing bear? Googling for it gave me
2746 some answers that I rather regret.
2748 <@f0rk> excel is not a database.
2749 <@f0rk> GumbyBRAIN: GAH
2750 < GumbyBRAIN> GAH FUCK FUCK FUCK F U C K N UR M O M G.
2751 (even MegaHALs hate excel ...)
2753 < rjbs> WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A DOT IN THIS BRANCH NAME?
2754 < rjbs> KHHHAAAANNNNN
2756 <@waltman> I've decided that God must love Christians more than Jews or
2757 Muslims, since they're the only ones he lets eat bacon.
2759 * bs338 looked a some C++0x notes the other day
2760 < bs338> that's one scary, scary language syntax wise
2761 < bs338> Womble<Womble> Womble((Womble)Womble)
2762 (from freenode #perl ... yes, there's syntax that scares perl users :)
2764 <@ilmari> someone _really_ needs to create a smoke-me/a-kipper branch
2766 < doug> i'm not particularly happy using rails
2767 < doug> i've done a lot of crying this year.
2768 <@DrForr> I recommend more lube then.
2769 < doug> won't the lube just make the rails slide in deeper?
2771 < Su-Shee> if mankind actually manages an AI, the first thing it'll say
2772 is "STOP POKING ME".
2774 < HuntGone> There's an entire isobar of Emos hanging around outside
2775 < HuntGone> Emos or Goths...not sure how you tell the difference
2776 < Kincaid> Goffs are more stylish
2777 < Kincaid> Goths have horned helmets, and are stealing your cows
2779 <@chip> hrm. I wonder if ENOENT was a reference to LOTR all along
2781 <thisisnic> I've more or less destroyed a laptop by dropping it off the top
2782 of a printer where it was balanced as I had to lift lid of said
2783 printer to fix a.paper jam
2784 <thisisnic> apparently I don't understand gravity when hung over..
2786 <@bob> in normal operation mongo wil only write to disk every 60 seconds.
2787 <@bob> this enables it to be webscale.
2789 < yrlnry> I've started using a lisp style for indenting parentheses and
2790 the like when writing Perl. So far nobody has complained.
2791 < mauke> I've started using a C style for indenting parentheses and the
2792 like when writing Lisp. So far everybody has complained.
2794 < f00li5h> FFFFFF! connection dropped while apt-get installing screen...
2795 which i was installing so that apt-get wouldn't lock when the
2796 connection dropped while installing shit
2797 * f00li5h hates everything
2800 <mdk> F*ck, turn my back for 2 seconcds and the small child has the laptop
2801 <mdk> How did he learn to flip channels
2802 <mdk> I just said random shite in 12 different places
2806 <@sungo> I'm fucking burning it all down
2807 <@sungo> they've made a live action smurfs movie with doogie howzer
2809 <@castaway> contrary to popular belief, the faq is not "ask the channel"...
2811 < jkeats> i think the real problem was just the irssi reconnect rate
2812 < jkeats> he got banned and came to me saying that OMG i must be the ALL
2813 KNOWING ALL SEEING of irc since i'd been using it since BEFORE
2816 <@claes> protestants are quite easy to deal with.. catholics otoh
2817 <@mst> catholics are fine. you just need lubricant and a pillow.
2818 <@claes> what's the pillow for?
2820 <@cat-xeger> woh utrnod on the ufcking lights
2821 <@mst> cat-xeger: me.
2822 <@cat-xeger> fucker of unelan animals
2824 < naath> I hate the idea of advertising PMS cures to men full stop
2825 though; considering the number of people (mostly men and my
2826 mother) who have claimed I "have PMS" when what I actually have
2827 is a raging case of "thinking they are an obnoxious idiot"
2829 <@LeoNerd> LeoNerd-- # layer 8 error
2831 <@castaway> t0m: the fcgiserver goes boom, is all I know
2832 <+osfameron> castaway: did you accidentally replace your fcgiserver with
2835 <@mst> mother mine is 'Sandra Norma Maria Trout'
2836 <@mst> that's confusing enough to most people
2837 <@dylan> My grandpa said to never trust someone with two first names
2838 <@dylan> and your mom has three and a fish. Hmmm...
2840 edit/teco/nocommand sys$login:[what.the.fuck.am.i.doing.on.vms]ohgodhelp.txt
2841 ... wait, "fuck" isn't a proper part of a VMS filespec.
2844 <@cfedde> when I was answering support email I had a bunch of macros.
2845 WTF expanded to "I'm not sure I understand your question" and
2846 STFU expanded to "I think a bit more research is needed here.
2847 Perhaps you can reformulate your quesion more clearly."
2849 <t0m> And have you ever tried stracing a java app?
2850 <t0m> FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
2851 <t0m> uck you, right up the futex
2854 < Somni> Su-Shee: logical users? rainbow-colored unicorns!
2856 <@osfameron> IPA+49A1F IRONIC SQUEAK OF ANGUISHED TABBY CAT
2858 <@acme> ow ow ow hot
2859 * quicksilver shows acme the correct way to hold an iron
2860 <@joel> it'd be fine if people would stop phoning him while he's ironing
2862 < castaway> soo.. why does it let me in then close the connection?
2863 < mst> castaway: russians.
2864 < epitaph> yep, it's those damn Russians with their vodka and their gulags
2865 and their shells set to /bin/true since it's not a login account
2867 * DrHyde receives SIGBED
2868 * DrHyde hits C-ZZZZzzzzz
2870 < ether> no toolchain yet supports configure_requires afaik
2871 < mst> uh, 5.10.1+ toolchain did
2872 < ether> ah well in that case I'm out to lunch and should be ignored :)
2873 * ether slinks back to her corner to play with her blocks.
2875 Electricity distribution is one of the few things that the British aren't
2876 crap at. We're also not crap at beer, although I do have to perform regular
2877 tests to ensure that it's still good.
2880 * random wonders what a blue box on a black screen with the message
2881 System Disable [longnumber] means and suspects it is "kitten has been
2884 < ncow> well this is pretty fucking strange....
2885 < ncow> I've discovered that if you tar (uncompressed) the entire
2886 PHP-5.3.6 source code, reverse the whole thing, and then mount it
2887 as iso9660, you get the contents of an AOL cd.
2889 < kentnl> ie: "oh, my drive has been automatically mounted read only, I'll
2890 just fsck and remount it rw" was not the smartest move I've made.
2892 < kentnl> Its such a fine line between "If you touch something, and it hurts,
2893 and you do it again, you're an idiot" and "If you touch something,
2894 and it hurts, and you do it again, you're a scientist"
2896 < mst> SEO people think?
2897 < quicksilver> they go through some process after which they produce
2898 advice. In the interests of continuing to enjoy my lunch I
2899 choose to call this process 'thinking'.
2901 <dwu> ... I've just walked past a pet store and seen a bald guinea pig. Uh.
2902 <dwu> And you thought they looked stupid -with- their hair on.
2904 * davidfetter comes up with a way to replace u with a script: perl -pi
2905 -e 's/u/a script/g' $(find . -type f)
2906 < mstratman> davidfetter: are yoa script sa scriptre yoa script want to
2909 <@pjcj> oh nice, locate has --regex and --regexp options that are
2911 <@pjcj> I think I'll send in a patch for a --regexen option
2913 < perlsyntax> Is there any other tool better then net::pcap
2914 < LeoNerd> Better tool for -what-?
2915 < perlsyntax> i just need something to do networking with over the internet.
2917 everbong: i almost got blowed up back in the day.. thats how i got the name
2918 everbong: this lady came up to a small group of us, saying something, and i
2919 was like "everbong?? wtf??" we started to walk away and she exploded
2920 everbong: apparantly she was saying "i have a bomb" in fail english
2922 "Is the server down?" = My screen resolution set to 800x600
2923 "Is the server up?" = I have somehow erased my hard drive
2924 "Could you put it on the server?" = Why isn't the file magically appearing
2925 (jrhoffa on reddit) on my desktop?
2927 < Edmund> if there was a Third-World Coup board game -- and there
2928 probably is -- you'd get 15 victory points for the airport and
2929 5 each for the TV station and the radio station
2931 <@BinGOs> I had an urge to remember tcl the other night.
2932 <@BinGOs> then I woke up 3 days later in a ditch.
2934 < merlinm> what we have now is a bunch of code written by 2 dozen devs over
2935 3 continents, that looks like (at least to me) regular code that
2936 was picked up and dropped from a height of about 5 feet
2938 < avar> But then again it's easy to tune MySQL
2939 < avar> 1. If your operation is a hash lookup everything's OK
2940 < avar> 2. If it's not you're fucked
2941 < avar> 3. You want to use SQL as a reporting engine? BWAHAHAHAA
2943 <@joel> what is the significance of the exclamation marks?
2944 <@mullet> joel: a line of very drunk men, arses out, "TALKAUDIO!!!"
2945 written across the cheeks
2946 <@mullet> cameras-- # proof
2948 <@f0rk> goddamnit, I forgot we had no water and tried to wash my hands
2949 <@f0rk> I had to wash the soap off with bud light, nearest thing I had to water
2951 <@mst> you have to turn quoting on.
2952 < davidfetter> mst, do you play it barry white tunes? buy it flowers?
2953 <@mst> davidfetter: silk rope and a good flogger. quote() is a sub, after all.
2954 < davidfetter> ugh. ETOOMUCHINFORMATION
2956 < xiong> I put my development perl in /rad, which hopefully, nobody expects.
2958 <@mullet> Right, so it was modernizr-2.0.6.js that Chrome recognised as a
2960 <@Zefram> did it have serifs?
2962 < mauke> where are your bytes coming from?
2964 < mauke> please be more vague, otherwise we might be able to help you
2966 <@autarch> I really wasn't trying to sound southern, just ignorant
2968 <@HellKat> My irc net is full of furries, (not to be confused with the
2969 hovercraft btw), there's insanity on perl.org and the dog eats
2970 peaches, life doesn't get any weirder.
2972 <@stevan> that was when we pressed all our tarballs in vinyl
2973 <@stevan> such better sound quality
2975 <@osfameron> I'd find it hard to use Mason. One hand would be trying to
2976 type the Mason code, while the other drove a hot poker into
2977 my brain, to attempt to expunge whatever mental abnormality
2978 or demonic possession had taken over my brain.
2980 < LeoNerd> print "\e[31mThis text is red\e[m\n";
2981 < LeoNerd> If your terminal doesn't recognise theabove, it's because it
2982 is a glass teletype from the 1970s and you should get a newer one
2984 < alpha--> Inappropriate ioctl for device at ./x.pl line 20
2986 < LeoNerd> Perhaps the device is under 18 years old?
2987 < thrig> 18 may vary, check jailbait.h
2989 < alh> If you play golf with Perl for code you expect to reuse and
2990 distribute I will play golf with your head and my nine iron :)
2992 21:19 AGH. KITTEN STOP EATING MY SPLIFF
2993 21:20 no, rly. I can't leave one in the ashtray whilst using the loo.
2994 21:20 It'll be under the sofa, and they'll be 6 foot away chewing on the
2995 recently removed roach
2997 * mst totally didn't expect that much crack hiding in such a relatively
2998 simple piece of code
2999 < f00li5h> mst: caution. programmers.
3001 < tm604> Sys::CpuAffinity::setAffinity($$,
3002 [CPUs_that_firefox_isn't_burning_holes_in]) # might be useful
3003 for getting some stable benchmark results :/
3005 <@joel> "Sunderland footballer charged with two counts of sexual assault
3006 and one of urinating in a public place"
3007 <@joel> is it wrong that my first thought was "what, concurrently?" ?
3009 <@hachi> shit read performance on nfs server, days of coworkers 'fixing'
3010 it with various methods
3011 <@sungo> my nfs server gets shit read performacne
3012 <@sungo> because I turned it off
3014 < mauke> Mithaldu: map f [x1, x2, x3, ...] = [f(x1), f(x2), f(x3), ...]
3015 < mauke> NOW YOU ARE A MAP MASTER
3016 < Mithaldu> i can't read that D:
3017 < mauke> you need a decoder monoid
3019 < purge> mst is using mongoDB? i hope they have a swearbox.
3020 < mdk> purge: the swearbox melted
3022 < deever> i'd like to get 'org.example.domain' out of 'domain.example.org'
3023 < thrig> perl -E 'say join q{.}, reverse split /[.]/, shift' ...
3024 < derf0> ${(j:.:)${(Oas:.:)input}}
3025 < thrig> that perl! line noise, I tell you.
3027 < jayne> linux's formula for load average is something like
3028 iowait+cpu+/dev/random
3029 < niko> s/dev\/random/kde/
3031 < GiANTgOOf> (sometimes I wonder why I bother with paying for this crappy
3032 ADSL, it's never up for very long...)
3033 < pol> That's the Asymmetric bit
3034 < pol> It's down more than it's up
3036 <@rjbs> I forgot about cyber monday.
3037 <@rjbs> forgetting++
3041 < anno> map /arse/ ? $_ : (), @array; # find arse with map
3043 <@sungo> I think my Roomba needs the "stop humping the bookcase"
3046 < _sri> mongodb is still very young
3047 < _sri> it's very hot in the startup scene
3048 < rsimoes> because the startup scene is full of insufferable hipsters who
3049 latch on to anything with good marketing
3051 <@SiGNOUT> Breaking News : CERN to announce that LHC has "gone beyond
3052 Higgs and found answers to how Oracle does licensing"
3053 <@murb> SiGNOUT: not plausible.
3054 <@murb> SiGNOUT: that information won't escape the event horizon.
3056 <@autarch> mst: that's my ass with the light bulb, thank you
3057 <@mst> no, you're the one gently easing it into rjbs' rectal cavity
3059 <@sungo> Originally, Metcalfe worked with DEC, Intel and Xerox to promote
3060 ethernet as a standard
3061 <@sungo> they called the "DIX Standard"
3062 <@sungo> it is 100% valid to say that the internet runs on DIX
3064 <@cxreg> "This is unix. I can't even log in!" #accuratejurassicpark
3066 <@mst> happy new year motherfuckers
3068 <@perigrin> she wasn't a mother when I started fucking her.
3070 < Hunter> Sodding bird has learned to imitate the low-battery beep on the
3072 < mst> I can imagine how annoying that would be but it's quite hard to
3073 feel sympathetic -and- laugh this hard at the same time :)
3075 <thisisnic> man, i've been coding all day and am now very grateful that
3076 time-travel isn't possible. 'cause if it was, coding would
3077 be fucking painful; every day my future self would appear and
3078 punch my present self for being such a fucktard.
3080 <@bigpresh> "ssh boxname eject" targetted at a machine a cat is sitting
3081 in front of: entertainment for geeks.
3083 < Creeture> My puppy ate 2 crayons, some Play Doh, and a pack of cigs one
3084 day. The next day was…interestingly colored.
3086 <@mst> I've got a great idea, but I'm not sure where I can get twelve
3087 chickens and a gallon of lube at sufficiently short notice
3088 < ribasushi> mst: I can furnish 19 snails, one ferret, and 5 virgins
3089 covered in oil - will that do?
3091 <@leont> I'm about to perlbug a behavior of perl using the exact sentence
3092 it's commented with 7 times: 'only "parent" interpreter can
3093 diddle signals', but having just looked up the meaning of the
3094 word diddle I'm not so sure I should…
3096 <@sungo> OWOWOWOWJESUSCHRIST
3097 * sungo just blew his nose, forgetting about the swollen-shut ear canal
3098 <@sungo> Fuck seeing stars. I can see dark matter
3100 < fuzzix> mst: No, no, no, normal and day-to-day behaviour must be
3101 reached for and caught as exceptional.
3102 < fuzzix> mst: Every line of code is a 'try' - it's agile
3104 < alh> Mithaldu: apeiron hates everything except hugs.
3105 < alh> He loves hugs.
3106 < apeiron> protip: alh looks to be too young to drink.
3107 < apeiron> that's because he is.
3109 <@ct> "Justin Hunter has endorsed your work with the comment 'Great
3110 worker other than the kleptomania and heroin addiction'"
3112 < HuntGone> Flowers and a meal first! You know the rules!
3113 < HuntGone> And not out of the cemetary like last time. The meat was gamey
3114 < HuntGone> And I don't like Lilies.
3115 < HuntGone> Not while she's still wearing them
3117 < LeoNerd> #define true 0 /* Where is your god now?? */
3119 < mauke> #define if(X) if (!(X))
3121 <cheater_> you know, life's better without having to spend time taking
3122 shit from socially awkward retards whose only outlet is when
3123 they expunge bile on the internet inbetween wanking sessions
3124 <mst> and yet I'm still talking to you
3126 <@perigrin> mst: you should see his talk comparing 65 different CMS
3127 implementations ... the best half hour you'll ever spend.
3128 <@sungo> I don't know. sex and the 25 minutes of crying might be better
3130 < waltman> Kitten huffing is based on the false premise that kittens have
3131 souls to begin with.
3133 <@mst> ruby culture includes stomping on other people's namespaces
3134 <@scrottie> it's not stomping. just tickling their namespaces. on the inside.
3135 <@hobbs> doesn't that lead to vomiting?
3136 <@scrottie> depends on which hole you use.
3138 < thrig> yeah, I knew a sysadmin who wrote his own killall, then ran the
3140 < thrig> ... after the box came back up, we ...
3142 * mst sobs gently into his coffee
3143 <@bob> stop diluting it
3145 <@ilmari> Memory::Usage just parses /proc/$pid/statm
3146 <@Nicholas> cool. that's going to work on both kinds of OS
3148 <@sungo> I changed a bunch of my passwords recently
3149 <@sungo> I'm staring to think I should change them again to
3150 "$old_password^U$new_password"
3152 <@cxreg> you dont write java
3153 <@cxreg> eclipse writes java
3154 <@DrForr> In Soviet Russia...
3155 <+purl> joke is tired of you
3157 < mst> oh crap, nobody told me your were israeli
3158 < sawyer_> man fuck israel
3159 < sawyer_> er... a comma might be better there
3160 < sawyer_> man, fuck israel
3162 The PM said, “This meeting was useful. Should we set up a recurring meeting
3165 So I stabbed him in the heart.
3167 * mst sets everything on fire for being a pain in the ass
3168 <perigrin> because when it's on fire it's less painful when inserted rectally?
3169 <ether> says someone who never tried to play with anal beads after
3170 chopping serranno peppers
3172 < asarch> I had an English teacher in University
3173 < asarch> She was from London
3174 < asarch> Her name was Holi
3175 < asarch> She liked a lot mangoes
3177 < mjd_> "How many SEO experts do you need to exchange a light bulb, lightbulb,
3178 light bulb, energy saving light bulb, blowjob, xxx, free porn"
3180 < apeiron> SSD++ # indeed
3181 < t0m> GTFO if you think they're a good idea in database servers ;_)
3182 < apeiron> t0m, holy MTBF, batman!
3183 < t0m> apeiron: that stands for Mysql Trashed, Business Fucked, right?
3185 < TorgoX> I've been in DENIAL about the W3C doing anything later than HTML 4.01
3186 ... because last I heard, they had the BRILLIANT IDEA of "XHTML 2.0".
3187 But... they seem to have FORKED HTML! Once into XHTML 2.0 and
3188 another way into HTML 5.0. TIME TO EAT A GUN, SIR TIMMY.
3190 < thrig> beware that vendors often misname encodings, I'm looking at you
3191 Windows and your ANSI encoding.
3192 < Cipher-0> That's because Microsoft follows standards the same way pike
3193 follow migrating caribou.
3195 <@itz> During the festivities, a relevant passage in the Talmud advices
3196 celebrants to drink until one cannot distinguish between the
3197 phrases "Cursed is Haman" and "Blessed is Mordecai."
3198 <@osfameron> Jewish lore is truly very wise
3200 < spb> there's something quite satisfying about returning home, looking
3201 in the fridge to see what you've got to eat, and ending up with
3202 some good cheese, crackers, and half a bottle of st emilion
3203 < spb> makes me feel that somewhere i made a good decision in life
3205 < kthakore> That ... is kinda hoat!
3207 < kthakore> hoat = ??? fuck if I know
3208 <@dngor> I'm on a hoat.
3210 <@scrottie> apeiron: I tought a Bioinformatics class at ASU a few months
3211 back. getting everyone running Perl took *weeks*.
3212 <@scrottie> it's amazing the capacity grad students have for hearing
3213 something and then deciding it doesn't apply to them.
3215 < kruug> best insult to date: What's the difference between you and a
3216 mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and I forget the rest but
3217 your mother's a whore.
3218 < kruug> more: http://littleyee0.tripod.com/worldorder/id6.html
3220 <ribasushi> <abraxxa> GAH! the cache isn't populated until the data is fetched
3221 <ribasushi> I need to frame this
3223 * rafl (rafl@cpan.developer.FLORA) has joined #ru.pm
3224 <ribasushi> germans overtake #ru.pm !
3225 <rafl> don't worry about it. we're not usually very good at that
3226 <rafl> not in the long run, anyway
3228 * mst figures no harm being nice given he's being
3230 * apeiron rearranges the words
3233 < Fredz> I like how my /whois shows now "Is using a secure connection"
3234 < Fredz> Of course I use a secure connection bitch, I IRC FROM A BOAT.
3236 < mauke> '$' x 6 # MAKE $$$$$$ FAST
3238 < triddle> my absolute favorite bug from Arcadia: when a player has his
3239 fishing pole equiped and it goes back into inventory a dead
3240 duck will fall out of your ass, twitch, and chase you around
3241 the map if you run away from it
3243 < ________________> Also, I'd bake a cake for christel too...
3244 <+tdubellz> for the second time today, ask again in a month.
3245 <+christel> make that 2 months, i'm on a diet -- too many chocolate eggs
3246 over easter and as such cake is offtopic for freenode
3248 < dax> today's xkcd alttext: "Don't fire until you see through the
3249 fragile facade to the human being within."
3250 < dax> funny, that's when I ban people
3252 triddle: I don't know a good drum set from a bad drum set from ruby on rails
3254 <@apeiron> if my kid wanted a minecraft server I'd give him a VAX
3255 and tell him to set it up there
3256 <@apeiron> FBSD is too easy
3257 <@apeiron> herp derp cd `whereis -qs minecraft` && make install
3259 <@dngor> Does anyone on a soap opera ever have just one nice day?
3260 <@negelirelden> Yes, but then they get amnesia.
3262 <@ct> whoever made the buffalo sauce at the burrito place today was very angry
3263 <@ubu> you'd be angry too if you had to squeeze a buffalo.
3270 < triddle> how to deal with a vegan: figure out how much land it takes to make
3271 loaf of bread, then fill a sack full of dead field mice and worms
3272 cut in half equivalent to the destruction related to harvesting and
3273 planting the wheat, and throw that next to their bread
3275 <@itz> this has to be one of the most stupid questions ever
3276 <@itz> http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17826515
3277 <+dipsy> [ BBC News - Could teenagers be stopped from looking at porn? ]
3279 * lbr missed perl -E 'say scalar localtime 1333333337' and starts
3280 patiently waiting 380 years till next time
3282 <@joel> Do people use <abbr> etc in the real world?
3284 <@osfameron> not just people. sometimes starling flocks form themselves
3285 into "<abbr>" spontaneously. nobody knows why.
3287 < castaway> "That which does not kill you should piss you off so much
3288 that you kill whoever did it, which makes you stronger"
3290 On Google interviews:
3292 <@triddle_vc> a chicken, a fox, and my ego are on a boat - prove to me I
3293 know more than you do?
3295 < intgr> Let the benchmarks settle this! :)
3296 < davidfetter> o/` let the benchmarks hit the floor o/`
3297 < davidfetter> o/` let the benchmarks hit the floor o/`
3298 < davidfetter> o/` let the benchmarks hit the floor o/`
3300 < mdk> Need for speed ha
3305 < thrig> perlbot: chimp
3306 < perlbot> thrig: chimp VARIABLE, chimp( LIST ). Removes any trailing
3307 chimpanzee. It returns the total number of chimpanzees
3308 removed from all its arguments. Use with care.
3310 < kd> I remember one winter in edinburgh that was so cold that it turned
3311 out that dog sitting was a really good move
3313 <@perigrin> luckily changing production code is trivial, just make your
3314 changes and wait for it to fall over
3315 <@perigrin> when it restarts your changes go live.
3317 @halcy: why is everyone all about cannibalism today
3318 @humblefool: @halcy that's not what "eating someone out" means.
3320 < rindolf> Well, technically speaking a hash is the data structure
3321 implementation of the Dictionary Abstract Data Type (ADT).
3323 < mst> OH SHIT LOOK OUT HERE COMES A CS
3325 < sauvin> whilst ($word->is_cromulent) { ... }
3327 < rjbs> In the rjbs/OS relationship, I am the sub. This is why I run OS X.
3329 * perigrin once had a GM ponder a "Summon Giant Ant" spell that
3330 basically conjured a 10' Potato Chip ... and then you just waited.
3332 <@DrHyde> sorry, CPANdeps and cpXXXan are down
3333 <@DrHyde> i sent the NOC guys a picture of a kitten instead of ranting at
3334 them like my boss suggested, and went straight to the head of
3335 the ticket queue, so should be back up soon
3337 One version of a disclaimer on the 'List of serial killers by
3338 number of victims' page of wikipedia has the words, "Please do
3339 not expand the list by killing people."
3341 If you want me to explain something to you, try asking politely and assuming
3342 good faith on my part. Otherwise, go shove your shitty attitude up your
3343 gaping rectal cavity, and once you've pushed it far enough up there you can
3344 feel it tickling your tonsils, then come back and we'll try again.
3346 There are three types of people. Those who know what they're doing and
3347 know they know, those who don't know what they're doing and know they
3348 don't, and those who don't know what they're doing but think they do.
3349 (The trick is to know when you're currently in the last group ...)
3351 < idn> He wants demographic info about the members. One of the questions
3352 is "Male / Female" which I'm going to have a little rant with.
3353 < idn> To quote Captain Jack: "You people and your quaint little categories"
3355 -!- robkinyon1 [~robkinyon@4.28.12.34] has joined #dbix-class
3357 <@mst> THEY'RE BREEDING
3358 < robkinyon1> stupid VPN
3360 Day changed to 2012-05-24
3363 return UNIVERSAL::isa(@_); # Whatever. -- rjbs, 2007-05-04
3365 <@ct> I think my favorite bit of trivia from that movie is that when they
3366 blew up the Michael Moore marionette, they first filled it with ham
3368 <@rjbs> DrHyde: nm I'm starting to see that this is a bit of a rabbit hole
3369 * hobbs offers rjbs two pills
3371 < mst> freenode spammers are WEIRD
3372 < mst> "ViveElNorte invites you to #toiletbowlstumpsex"
3373 < quicksilver> mst: well that meets my definition of a good friday evening,
3374 and it's not even 5pm yet. You live a charmed life.
3376 <@mstevens> PerfDave: earlier they were playing bon jovi, now it's just
3377 constant thudding noises
3378 <@joel> I think I have that record
3379 <@joel> did you enquire where the drop was?
3381 * epitaph wishes whoever is setting the car alarm off outside would
3382 hurry up and steal the damn car
3384 < sng> They make me wear pants every day *and* not drink heavily at my
3385 desk. What kind of bullshit is that?
3386 < theorbtwo> sng: Are you sure? Have you tried coming to work in a skirt?
3387 < sng> Dude this is Texas.
3389 <@mako132> well shit.
3390 <@mako132> I think this linode's been rooted
3391 * sungo pees on the ashes of mako132's geek card
3394 < rjbs> if msg.level >= 2: msg.info("foo")
3395 < rjbs> for different values of 2 and info
3396 < rjbs> so why isn't there a msg.info_at(2, "foo")?
3397 < rjbs> because fuck you
3399 <@mordy_> The Mantissa. A data creature of monstrous proportions. 113
3400 bits long and 34 bits wide, it is capable of eating several
3401 million bits per second and is feared by all other data types.
3402 Watch Mantissa: Return to Ninveh, Tonight at 9:30, only on PBS
3404 <@rjbs> One of the best things about a glass desk is that when something
3405 seems lost in the clutter, I can scoot down under it and find
3406 things from the bottom up.
3408 < hobbs> I actually had a beer that I thought was alright at Peculier
3409 once, but I don't know what it was, because I *ordered* a Magners
3411 <@DrHyde> there is a stupid bee trying to fly through one of my windows.
3412 i thought they were supposed to be able to see UV
3413 <@schmooster> DrHyde: I act like that when I'm on pollen too
3414 <@schmooster> hayfever's nasty sometimes
3416 < castaway> but Monday is all fresh'n'shiny!
3417 * Dorward looks at castaway
3418 * Dorward looks at castaway again
3419 * Dorward drops castaway in the pond
3421 < apeiron> epitaph, you are in a maze of twisty linux distributions, all
3422 alike. from somewhere you're not sure of, you hear soft
3423 chanting. it sounds like 'freebsd! freebsd! freebsd!'
3425 * Patterner licks purl
3426 * purl invites Patterner to channel #botsex.
3427 * apeiron licks purl
3431 My brain just exploded
3432 I can't handle pattern bindings for existential or GADT data constructors.
3433 In a pattern binding: T x = T "where is your god now?"
3435 <@lathos> php -r '$b = function() { echo 1; };
3436 $a = function () { echo 2; $b(); }; $a();'
3437 <@lathos> That code should work, surely.
3438 <@lathos> I think I'm going to have to rewrite this in a programming language.
3440 <mst> Dear NoSQL developers, binding to all IPs by default when you don't
3441 do authentication should require a --goatse option to configure
3442 <Getty> dude, it's NoSQL, that's like telling a lawyer to think about his soul
3444 < t0m> I may have to move back to a hairstyle I could iron
3446 < Yaakov> I think a zeppelin would make a powerful point…
3447 < Yaakov> Unfortunately, it would be something like, "you lot are a
3448 bucket of fruitbats".
3450 < HuntAFK> Taking the rest of the day off, dead. If you want me, please
3451 leave a message (quietly) after the whimper
3453 <@apeiron> I think right now my theory is "llarian threw up in its mouth
3454 a little" and some users got dislodged as a result
3456 < lexie> I /am/ a genius. and modest.
3457 < lexie> and according to amy, sweet, innocent and pure.
3458 < mst> lexie: pure as the yellow snow :D
3459 * lexie wrinkles her nose
3462 <@mst> rjbs: AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT
3463 <@chargrill> "this shit was all fucked up by the guy BEFORE me"
3464 <@rjbs> Great, now I'm Obama.
3466 < apeiron> I can answer questions. Whether they're *right* answers...
3467 < Kassandry> Well, that's the usual disclaimer, isn't it?
3468 < Kassandry> YMMV, TIMTOWTDI, warranty void in $place_of_residence
3469 < Kassandry> May cause vampire walrus invasions.
3471 <@chargrill> cwest: thank gods you shaved off that crazy old man beard
3472 < cwest> chargrill: Only one man can have the ridiculous sideburns I was
3473 growing. That man is mst.
3475 < Nijntje> why on earth are there small children screaming outside? i
3476 didn't even set the bear traps
3478 < Caelum> oracle xe for windows is 32bit only, oracle xe for linux is
3480 < Caelum> my linux is 32bit and my windows is 64bit
3481 < nebulous> Well there's your problem right there. You're using Oracle.
3483 < edenc> I basically dropped out of the research career because I had no
3484 patience for the gruesome amount of politics that came with it
3485 < aurum> *nod* i've been relatively sheltered from that so far
3486 < edenc> yeah, now I'm safely sheltered behind mst's chainsaw :)
3488 <@yPad> This isn't horrible. I could use this if I had to.
3489 <@yPad> I can type about 25 won
3493 <@mauke> "This implicit use of $_ greatly simplifies the filter." <- fuck
3494 you fuck you fuck you fuck you
3496 < druthb> I love children ... they're wonderful, stir-fried, with a little
3497 garlic butter ... :P
3499 <mst> Hey Brian, have you found out about hallway++ yet?
3501 <apeiron> I love you too, Brian
3502 <bdfoy> NO, NOT FUCK YOU, FUCK HIM ... (turns to mst) YOU FUCKING FUCKER
3504 < sng> Gah. Loadbalancers have more knobs than your mom at Fort Bragg...
3506 <@perigrin> I still enjoy the memory of the British Midlands airline
3507 steward when asked by my dad's girlfriend to bring her a cup
3508 of tea with some ice cubes in it.
3509 <@perigrin> "You want me to do what to your tea?"
3511 <@perigrin> sungo: they have a 30 minutes or less deal
3512 <@sungo> funny. so do I
3513 <@perigrin> yes but theirs doesn't end with them sobbing.
3514 <@sungo> true. but either way, what you get at the end doesn't taste very good
3516 the disadvantage of conference attendance:
3517 < cxreg> as i told my boss, "i spent the week around really smart motivated
3518 people who get a lot of shit done. then i went back to work"
3521 < bricas> my has_finished sub modifies the damn date.
3522 < bricas> IIIIIDIOT.
3523 * bricas goes to surgically have his palm removed from his forehead.
3525 < dngor> Last one to touch the CGI has to maintain it.
3527 < Botje> you pronounce it as 'ss', and it's being replaced by ss in
3529 < Botje> it's just there to fuck with people who assume that
3530 length x == length lc(x)
3532 @nrr: "i found where the perl scientists hang out!" "oh?" "#pdl (my head
3533 canon is that it's the perl watersports channel)" #shitiread
3535 <@leont> Crap, some tests are suddenly failing
3536 <@leont> Because, you know, '0.40' is not equal to '0.4'…
3537 <@rjbs> try checking with ~~
3539 <@mst> you know how any sufficiently large C++ program contains an ad-hoc
3540 fucked up implementation of half of lisp?
3541 <@mst> when a sufficiently large DBI-backed program develops an ad-hoc
3542 fucked up implementation of half an ORM, they call it a DAL
3544 < mdk> Okay, officially that is cool. i love chocolate Labs
3545 < Penfold_> need to get him to come sniff at Matt
3546 < Penfold_> and then someone's cat to do the same.
3547 < Penfold_> after all, you'll know more after a lab test and a cat scan.
3549 < CraigD> Pedantry - a place of pedants
3550 < CraigD> Coventry - a place of witches
3551 < CraigD> Daventry - a place of Daves
3553 <@mako132> i give those cats all the fucking affection they deserve. When I'm
3554 not scratching my own balls I'm usually rubbing some cat's belly
3555 < mst> learn to multitask? :)
3556 <@dngor> Optimize. Rub your balls with a cat.
3558 There’s a logical explanation, but:
3559 [ ] You’re not a logical person, and I can’t explain it to you.
3560 [ ] Do you want to educate fifty million users?
3561 [ ] That was in the 16th century, and they burned him at the stake.
3563 <@dhoss> mst: did you ask them to give you two metal legs?
3564 < mst> dhoss: I considered it, but then I realised they'd be kinda cold
3565 when I wrap them over the shoulders of the girl fellating me
3566 <@dhoss> mst: you're always so selfless.
3568 < Supermouse> oh gods, I've just worked out why we're having the summer
3570 < Supermouse> if you think of the London 2012 Olympics as basically the
3571 country's biggest ever summer fete ...
3573 chromatic: I see the value of xmonad when writing: one full-screen Vim
3574 window and one xterm. Zero non-cat distractions.
3576 < mauke> I think it's funny[1] how xpath Just Works with html but has
3577 huge issues with xml
3578 < mauke> [1] in the "kill everybody" sense
3580 < cwest> Whoever doesn't help cook breakfast has to help clean up after.
3581 < dngor> What if everyone decides to clean up.
3582 < cwest> Then we'll all starve.
3583 < cwest> I brought my own snacks anyway. And a beaver.
3585 < sng> You start trying to fix the populous of ANY location and you just
3586 end up with 90 percent of them dead and nobody to make your lunch
3587 for you when you go to the sandwich shop.
3589 <@mst> if you don't actually put any code after the rendering, no code
3590 will run after the rendering, logs will not magically appear, and
3591 unicorns will not materialise out of thin air and then fly off to
3592 fellate the nearest rainbow
3594 <@joel> fucking MBP keycaps popping off all the bloody time
3595 <@osfameron> how hard are you hammering them? ;-)
3596 <@mst> try typing with your fingers instead of your forehead
3597 <@squeeks> mst++ # So that's what I was doing wrong the whole time
3599 < edenc> ubuntu? you really like sodomizing your machines don't you
3600 < edenc> xp... oh dear, threesome sodomy
3602 -!- mst changed the topic of #web-simple to: WS 018 Moo 1.0 HZ 009005
3603 * ilmari was going to ask if this meant Role::Tiny was ready for 1.0 as
3604 well, then realised he just released 1.1.5 himself
3605 <@ilmari> *facepalm*
3607 <@mst> I got an audience of about five
3608 < ambs> mst: that is usual, nobody likes you :)
3609 <@mst> then the second time somebody knocked the camera and turned it off
3610 < ambs> mst: I told you, nobody likes you :D
3612 < cat-xeger> apparently it freaks people out when your response to them
3613 having a dead body in the flat downstairs is to recommend hot
3614 cocoa, a sweater, and oil of rosemary to block the smell
3617 <@sungo> I didn't wash the Monster out of this mug well enough. Now I
3618 have Monster+office-coffee
3619 <@sungo> it's ... unpleasant
3621 < random> Thought of the day: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET THERE YOU BASTARD ANIMAL
3623 < Labrat> you have a quantum cat
3624 < random> Yes, but sadly she can only quantum *in*
3626 <@lbr> (which is a perfectly good reason that just because it seemed like
3627 a good idea at the time, it'll probably bite someone in the ass at
3629 <@lbr> (this describes 37% of CPAN)
3631 < Hunter> Also, they're used as incubators for accelerating viral and
3632 antibody growth...scientists who have a tiny quantity of a
3633 virus *pass it through pigeons* to get a large quantity out.
3634 < Hunter> They're the Bang and Olufsen Amplifiers of the viral world
3636 < mst> DEAR BRAIN WHAT THE FUCK TIME DO YOU CALL THIS
3637 < dwu> 9am, dear. You may remember it from when I made coffee while you whined.
3638 < mdk> Had I known this was the way to get you up in the mornings i would have
3639 broken your leg years ago.
3641 <@_Dave> tests++ # make refactoring easier
3642 <@t0m> s/easier/possible/
3643 <@t0m> It's not refactoring if you don't have tests! It's just changing shit!
3645 < mst> and christel wants a pony
3646 < mst> ... or at least a man hung like one ...
3647 < erry> /ponyserv pony christel
3648 < mst> shouldn't that be ponyserv service christel? :)
3650 <ashley_w> oh, atmail++ "We cut a hole in the drywall, and ran the wires
3652 <ashley_w> now, why the hell do i care about that?
3653 <ashley_w> hey, atmail. glory hole -- UR DOIN IT WRONG!
3655 <@khw> How many lines of code are there very roughly in cpan?
3657 <@LeoNerd> Metric or imperial?
3659 (@eevee) oho ... mst is poly
3660 (~Trysdyn) What the fuck brain... I combined "Oho" and "$person is poly" into
3661 some weird big-O notation for polyamory, terminating at O(ho) as
3662 the biggest multi-directional clusterfuck imaginable
3664 < teejay_pic> is that dorset? my brain starts to turn off when I think
3665 too hard about dorset as it's so fucking dull
3666 < teejay_pic> it's like a posher older duller version of south devon
3667 < teejay_pic> where people retire to when south devon is too exciting
3669 < Su-Shee> Altreus: be happy that you do PHP! "A PHP dev with 2 years
3670 experience is getting a €100,000 starting salary."
3671 < tm604> sounds great until you realise that €80,000 of that will be
3674 <@mst> quicksilver: therein, I suspect the answer - neither do I
3675 * quicksilver notices for the first time that therein is an anagram of neither
3676 <@SlayerXP> quicksilver: i was disappointed to notice that "I'm a
3677 shiny-faced cunt" isn't an anagram of "David Cameron"
3679 <@SlayerXP> a colleague appears to have just done a subversion merge by
3680 using the time honoured technique of copying everything he
3681 wanted to merge over the top of what he wanted to merge it to
3684 < mst> melo: but that would just make me cry :(
3685 < melo> cry, baby, cry… :)
3686 * mst leans up in the pram and throws his toys at melo's head
3687 < melo> mst: foreplay at this time in the morning?
3689 <@schm00ster> what's a pension?
3690 <@PerfDave> It's a bit like a Fleshlight for Gordon Brown ;)
3692 <@SlayerXP> what's actually happening is that puppet is restarting named
3693 and syslog the hard way and at this point, syslog wants to do a
3694 DNS lookup on the hostname that's logging "Starting BIND"
3695 <@SlayerXP> alas the only resolver configured is...... someone at the back?
3697 < mst> alpha--: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Cdm_hip_implant_348.jpg
3698 < hippie> holy crap that looks like a weapon from Fallout.
3699 < Altreus> hippie: in the dystopian future we can use mst's corpse for
3702 <@hobbs> Twitter is currently down for <%= reason %>.
3703 < triddle> that failure mode is so hard to deal with
3704 < nuba> ... finally, after years collecting data, twitter stops to
3705 <%= reason %> about it. singularity to follow.
3707 <@dngor> Depression is just common sense crying in the dark with a tub of
3708 frosting and a spoon.
3710 * ubu is disgruntled.
3711 * apeiron regruntles ubu
3712 <@ubu> BRING ME MY GRUNTLES!!!
3714 < phaylon> *sigh* I sugared my coffee twice
3715 < phaylon> gotta keep the cat away, or she's gonna go rocket-cat again
3717 < mst> your cat is a sugar junkie.
3718 < phaylon> yes, she can also climb like a monkey and thinks her name is "NO!"
3720 < phaylon> at least she always answers to that :)
3722 <@BinGOs> I remember when I used to get shit done.
3723 <@BinGOs> then ITIL happened.
3724 <@BinGOs> apparently the industry best practise is that nothing gets done.
3726 <@PerfDave> Buzzword of the day: "Identity and Asset Management as a
3727 Service" (IAMaaS). I Am Arse indeed.
3729 # XXX: this is just about the least efficient way in the
3730 # world to do this; I should appologize, but really,
3731 # nothing in this module is done particularly well. I
3732 # doubt anyone will notice this.
3734 < spb> oh dear, christel having a barbecue?
3735 < christel> no! i am ATTENDING ONE!
3736 < christel> and i shall NOW GO LOCATE BARBEQUE
3737 < spb> you're still going to be smashed again later, aren't you?
3739 < negelirelden> Suicide is just ragequitting life.
3741 <alicewaddicor> I remember you are fond of 'pig flesh'. I've gone and gone
3742 proper veggie now (well except for fish)
3743 <mst> ah, the fish-and-chipocrite approach
3744 <alicewaddicor> Oi! That's 'pescatarian' to you, pigmuncher.
3746 <@LeoNerd> Why is it whenever I'm about to say I can't think of a use for
3747 some odd behaviour/bug/etc.., someone (and it's often mst)
3748 comes up and says they rely on it for something?
3750 * Dorward fills #chat with ballpen balls
3755 < kyriel> I hereby resign from humanity.
3756 < castaway> kyriel: well that'll help ;)
3757 < kyriel> Glad you think so.
3758 * sevvie takes responsibility for 1/7,000,000,000th of the species.
3760 < gbjk> Working from home is awesome, but I just realised I never got
3761 dressed today. I've been completely naked for the entire day.
3762 < gbjk> I feel like a cross between a porn star and a programmer.
3764 <@sungo> goddamn motherfucking javascript
3765 <@mst> javascript fucked *your* mother?
3766 <@mst> it's got less taste than I thought
3767 <@sungo> it's into sealife, what can I say?
3769 < druthb> My boss buys into a lot of that HR-self-esteem claptrappage,
3770 too. I finally told him that the sincerest form of flattery he
3771 could give me starts with "Pay to the Order of..." and ends
3775 < ilmari> Failed test 'Found 2 tables', got: '4', expected: '3'
3777 < t0m> I am running MongoDB in production. Woe is me.
3778 < t0m> It's really nice for data sets that fit in ram, which you don't
3780 < t0m> outside of that, it's less fun :)
3782 <@mako132> don't worry, if you've taken it up the ass once, you never forget.
3783 <@sungo> it's just like riding a bike. but dick.
3785 <@scrottie> cheap hosting killed MUD. it became possible for everyone to
3786 have their own MUD/MUX/MUSH/whatever, so they did.
3787 <@scrottie> being forced to share space and resources with other
3788 sociopaths *was* the fun of M*
3790 < zizibird> Dear toothbrush, I would like to inform you that you are not
3791 a penis and that hole in my mouth you so eagerly dove into is
3792 not a vagina. If you touch there again..I'll hold you over
3793 the stove top. Sincerely, Z.K.L.K.
3796 < ether> I'm comaint on App::FatPacker too
3797 < ether> I just got the email for my own ticket
3798 * ether runs in a circle screaming
3800 < Triplell> they give you these preconfigured machines that you can't edit,
3801 and if I delete it, I probably won't be able to get it back, and
3802 this is the most frustrating thing since sliced bread....
3803 < Triplell> which makes no sense
3805 < mauke> package Yoda; use parent "Exporter";
3806 our @EXPORT = "try"; sub try (&@) { $_[0]() }
3807 < mst> do $_ or do not $_
3808 < LeoNerd> package Klingon; succeed or die; # do not return in failure
3810 <@ew73> I am about 2 minutes away from ordering you a My Little Pony lunchbox.
3811 <@ew73> I got you one with a tail.
3812 <@dhoss> a REAL tail? because i'm going to throw a fucking fit if
3813 it's that polyester horseshit
3815 < theorbtwo> Resistance is futile.
3816 < theorbtwo> Your ass will be laminated.
3817 < theorbtwo> Your latex fetish will become one with our own.
3819 * dax invades Fuchs's corner with baby foxes
3820 < RichiH> corner = arse; baby foxes = baby foxes
3821 * dax invades RichiH's corner with artillery
3822 < Fuchs> I'll be a dad?
3824 < spb> can you see whether it works
3825 < spb> with the password before the one you gave me
3826 < dax> spb: doesn't work
3827 < spb> never bloody happy are you
3829 <@SlayerXP> I have been invited to a nagios architecture meeting. this
3830 meeting is happening after nagios goes live. i appear to be
3831 the only person who thinks this is odd.
3833 <@squeeks> You have a soul?
3834 <@mst> you're a sysadmin. you surrendered that years ago.
3835 <@SlayerXP> i didn't say it was my soul
3836 <@DrForr> I have one. I keep it in the kitten bong on my desk.
3838 <adrianhtrout> That's probably the best idea. Doesn't need a lawyer with
3839 any skill. It's not like you're charged with serious crime.:-D
3840 <mst> of course not, I obey the 11th commandment quite strictly
3841 <adrianhtrout> Is that the one that says 'don't get caught'?
3843 <@sungo> I AM SO GLAD YOUR DOCUMENTATION IS A TCPDUMP OF A SCRIPT RUNNING
3846 <@rjbs> I love git so fucking much.
3847 <@dhoss> then why don't you marry it
3848 <@ew73> If you can mary source control systems, next thing you know, fags
3849 will be getting married.
3851 -!- phred [~phred@c-24-5-76-9.hsd1.ca.comcast.net] has joined #perl
3852 < phred> Is there a Template Toolkit specific IRC channel?
3856 <@Trelane> how do I tell if there's data waiting for me in DBI?
3857 <@mst> call fetch and see if your program blocks
3858 <@Trelane> Let me phrase that a little better
3860 < nebulous> I hope everyone ignored that last statement, because I was quite
3861 wrong. Please enjoy the music while I do a TheManualIsJustFine
3864 < edenc> because no-one has the guts to touch it, except mst :)
3865 < apeiron> I would touch it
3866 < apeiron> if I knew what it is
3867 < apeiron> I would touch it once, decisively, for great justice
3869 < Lexie> ._. coffee is better when it's black.
3870 < Lexie> but human milk is not squicky.
3871 < Lexie> How can anything that has cannabinoids in it be squicky?
3872 * Doc gets mental image of fields of high babies seeking out M&Ms and Snapple
3874 < mst> my problem is I want win32 to not be broken
3875 < mst> and I have a horrible feeling that may require me to use it :)
3876 <@apeiron> Or hire someone to care.
3879 < epitaph> I've often contended that the religious right and associated
3880 groups are in fact postmodern, constructing a semiotic narrative
3881 which makes no claim about objective reality, and with an author
3884 <@frew> well, I wasn't going for anal, but that's what I was worried
3887 <@sungo> I used to have irssi automatically filter colors out.
3888 <@sungo> But it's such a great faggot detector
3890 <@quicksilver> we got you a pony, but we put him on the moon, on the end
3892 <@quicksilver> he asphyxiated
3894 < teejay_pic> it's a bad sign when you see an angry wasp fly out of your
3895 underwear and you're relieved it was "just" a wasp sting
3897 <@sungo> dear scientists talking about evolution, the crazies would
3898 probably be less crazy if you stopped acting like Nature is an
3899 existent sentient entity
3900 <@rjbs> but that's how she wants us to talk about her
3902 <@ingy> mst is your cuntryman
3903 <@mst> ... NICE TYPO FUCKER
3904 <@ingy> and the undisputed cunt of perl
3907 <@jjl> mst: you'd think given the messages i typically receive on okcupid
3908 that my profile photo was indeed a picture of an erect penis
3909 <@mst> jjl: but actually that's just what your face looks like?
3910 <@schmooster> jjl: understandable if it's a double-polaroid
3912 <@mst> also responsible for my second favourite perlmonks post ever
3914 <@mst> http://www.perlmonks.org/?node_id=853445
3915 < joel> fucking MAGnet opers, how do they work?
3917 <@joel> me-- # confused Bernard and Bradley Manning
3919 < apeiron> perlbot, apeiron's philosophy on "can I ask a regex question?"
3920 < perlbot> apeiron: Don't come here asking us about non-Perl regex
3921 questions, because apeiron will try his hardest to give you a
3924 < druthb> The two boys in my house (felinoids) are mean and sneaky. The
3925 short-haired one will groom the long-haired one, then go barf
3926 on the carpet, and try to pin the blame on his companion.
3928 <dwu> "Train travel in the UK should be a pleasure, not a headache."
3929 AHAHAHAHAHAHA # this, after trying my third site to see if they
3930 will fucking accept an overseas card.
3932 < HamIsHurtful> oh mst is a northerner?
3933 < rml_home> you say that like it's a bad thing. They are our most
3936 < quicksilver> this morning the spammers are offering me a pack of three
3938 * quicksilver tries to decide if his boobs feel uncomfortable.
3939 < Dorward> quicksilver: You could order some nipple clamps to make certain
3941 <@frew> you know your codebase sucks when the first step after perltidy
3942 is to delete all comments and pod (because they are all lies)
3944 * cat-xeger wonders if she's still drunk
3945 <@kyriel> How many fingers am I holding up?
3947 <@kyriel> Nope. You're still drunk.
3949 < castaway> anyone an idea how I can turn 00000004 into 4 in shell script?
3950 < idn> expr 0000004 + 0
3951 < apeiron> dc -e '00004 p'
3952 < sng> They told me not to pee in the dc.
3954 < huf> i suspect the best approach would implode the universe
3955 < huf> we must make do with successively better ones
3956 < thrig> to the geneticalgorithmobile!
3958 <@denny> cat is a gateway drug
3959 <@denny> to more cat
3960 <@denny> it's a sad tale
3962 * denny looks shifty
3963 <@denny> I'm not a politician! I just argue with them a lot.
3964 <@denny> well, there was that time I ran for Parliament. But that was
3965 just an extension of the arguments by other means.
3967 <@itz> Neil Armstrong is dead
3968 <@claes> maybe some of the moon probes will carry some of his ashes
3969 <@osfameron> they could shoot maggie's ashes into space too. might
3970 prevent people queueing up to piss on them
3972 < Rande> That was the rudest I've been yet. "Hello, can I speak to X?"
3974 < Rande> I'd rather them send me junk mail. At least then that's
3975 propping up the Royal Mail a bit.
3977 < quicksilver> nice. my NTP source is 'roflcopter.fr'
3978 < quicksilver> should I trust a time signal from a laughing frenchman?
3980 <@dhoss> can't. fucking. focus.
3982 <@rjbs> fuck, I can't even do better than dhoss
3985 < popl> cooking and IRC is probably a bad combination
3986 < Botje> 'brb housefire'
3988 < fuzzix> I work in shades
3989 < fuzzix> Harsh ceiling lighting.
3990 < fuzzix> Someone thought I had a drug problem.
3991 < fuzzix> I mean, I do, but the shades are nothing to do with that ;)
3993 < Kassandry> The most fun thing about kids, is that they're someone else's,
3994 so you can take them aside, do fun things with them,
3995 teach them interesting things, shake them up like cans of
3996 pop ... and then hand them back to their parents.
3998 <@sungo> there's shit like coda that has ssh or ftp built-in. but those
3999 are IDEs that make me violent
4000 <@sungo> as some meme (that I've lost a url to) said: 99 problems and
4001 eclipse is all of them.
4003 <@rjbs> replied gloria to cloaxia
4004 <@cat-xeger> I keep on thinking I should be able to tell what region
4005 she's from by how her sari is tied
4006 <@rjbs> I'll ask her when she's not playing piano.
4008 < lee> really, some truly remarkable things happen online
4009 < lee> such as running a public url shortener unmaintained for 4 months,
4010 and there's only 2 links in the database to shock sites
4011 (lemonparty, meatspin; don't google, you'll regret it)
4013 < narcos> Now, what was I originally trying to do
4014 < mst> take over the world!
4015 < narcos> CPAN says "Cannot install World::Takeover, don't know what it is."
4016 < DrForr> maybe *your* CPAN.
4018 <@caitlin> i made a thing with perl. i'm rather shocked
4019 <@tomboh> it's nice when that happens :)
4020 <@tomboh> assuming you haven't made a hungry shark
4022 <@mst> then ignore me and do what doy said, he's actually right and I'm not
4023 * ether scribbles a note: on 2012-09-14, mst said...
4024 <@rjbs> later, you will dig up that note, and it will read, in a smudgy
4025 scrawl, "I EAT YOUR EYES FIRST"
4027 * apeiron likes his LDAP UID at $WORK
4028 * apeiron is UID 1337
4030 <@mako132> oh fuck I have to be at dinner 20 minutes away in 5 minutes
4031 * mako132 & # shit shit shit
4033 < dngor> We should get clackers. They'd help synchronize the audio, too.
4034 * mst wants clangers
4035 < mst> they'd make great lightning talk timers
4036 < castaway> cow bells!
4038 <@frew> all of our servers are elements
4039 <@frew> you can refer to them by full name or elemental abbreviation
4040 <@frew> hence my computer is w, aka tungsten
4041 <@frew> we used handwavium for virtual machines for a while
4043 * dwu is awesome, truly
4044 <dwu> And doesn't have an ego problem at all.
4045 <mst> works for me :)
4046 <dwu> pah, only because otherwise your ego would take all the duvet.
4048 < idn> The error goes along the lines of "WAAAAAAHHH!!! 500 Internal
4049 Server Error! BOOOOOOM!"
4051 <aurynn> Beer in the UK is like a close friend come to visit and provide
4053 <aurynn> Beer in NZ is like getting in a fistfight out back, that you're
4054 not sure if you won or lost
4056 <@f0rk> I need to add a status to the ticket system: "Closed: Fuck You"
4058 <@mordy> python includes batteries, but they are of dubious origin and
4061 < quicksilver> "A 360 degree view on penetration testing"
4062 < quicksilver> I'd file that under "Special Interest - NSFW"
4063 < quicksilver> but sadly it's from a security conference
4065 "Gentlemen, I do not mind being contradicted, and I am unperturbed when I
4066 am attacked, but I confess I have slight misgivings when I hear myself
4068 -- Lord Balfour, to the English Parliament
4071 < RodentAFK> they are circling me like sharks
4072 * random notes that the cats, whatever they are telling mouse, have been fed.
4073 < RodentAFK> lying sods
4075 Major premise: All previous AI efforts failed to yield true intelligence.
4076 Minor premise: All previous AIs were built without delicious lemon glazing.
4077 Conclusion: If we build AIs with delicious lemon glazing, they will work.
4079 < geoff> neural nets are over-rated
4080 < starglider> Their potential is overrated.
4081 < geoff> their potential is us
4083 <@edenc> basically, I view sql and data mangling like a giant orgy, you
4084 put all the records in a query, where they have sex and breed,
4085 then you pick up the bastards that do what you want and throw
4088 * erry bots christel
4089 -!- erry [erry@freenode/staff/erry] has quit [Changing host]
4090 -!- erry [erry@freenode/utility-bot/erry] has joined #freenode-bootcamp
4093 <@sungo> bleh. was nearly killed on my way home by a guy in a goddamn truck
4094 staring at his smart phone. he blew a red light at about 50mph. By
4095 the time we both stopped his truck was about a foot from my car
4096 <@sungo> but on the upside, I have pocky
4098 <@mst> Added ETHER to co-maintainers of Proc::ProcessTable.
4099 <@mst> Added ETHER to co-maintainers of Proc::ProcessTable::Process
4100 <@mst> ether++ # give me a shout when you upload the fixed version
4103 < kd> ah I've found one of my bugs
4104 < kd> I helpfully commented it 9 months ago with # END YUCKY BIT
4106 <+jayne> soon: irssi and emacs merge, because it was the easiest way to
4107 teach irssi how to email
4108 <+jayne> soon after: someone starts working on a script for text-editing
4110 <@mst> any plan that starts with 'convert from maildir to mbox' is a plan
4111 that makes me want to gag the instigator with a lemon
4113 < idn> I'll drive mst down to London to apply the lemon if you do that
4115 < HuntAFK> And I need to make some bread. Yes...
4116 < HuntAFK> I did one the other day, and for the life of me I can't find
4117 it. But it is better to have loafed and lost than never to
4118 have loafed, I s'pose
4120 < Su-Shee> why does that trigger spy movies in my head?
4121 < DrForr> The spotted owl flies backwards at midnight?
4122 < mauke> laden or unladen owl?
4124 * quicksilver struggles to reconcile the four words 'reasonable',
4125 'perl', 'IDE', and 'Windows'
4127 < tp-work> I shall ask twitter, they may be able to help.
4128 * pol reads tp-work's last sentence
4129 * pol re-reads tp-work's last sentence
4132 > Why don't you use SNMPv3, which is purpose built for this stuff?
4133 And then why don't I find a large glass jar filled with live wriggling
4134 cockroaches and compete with my coworkers to see how many of them I can
4135 swallow whole? (tptacek replies to mahyarm on HN)
4137 < apeiron> Zynga has been looking nicely fucked for a while now
4138 * quicksilver would have thought that if anyone was going to fuck Zynga
4139 it would be "roughly, with extreme prejudice"
4141 <@rjbs> "You're going to be fired."
4142 <@rjbs> "Fine, I can find another job anywhere!"
4143 <@rjbs> "No, you misunderstand. Fired. Like in a kiln."
4145 Shmuel (Seymour J.) Metz <spamtrap@library.lspace.org.invalid> wrote:
4146 >[...] I want my Internet back from the barbarians at the gate.
4147 Internet, hell. I want my Arpanet back.
4150 < yano> so i'm in a weird state of mentally being sober but physically
4152 < christel> that is called "i am too thick to sleep it off"
4153 < christel> "and decided to stay up ircing all night instead"
4155 <mst> generally when I take part in a "normal" looking democratic process
4156 it's because I've already figured out how to subvert it
4157 <mst> I don't find that they produce useful results otherwise
4158 <kaitlyn> Hey, stop stealing American politics.
4160 <@apeiron> No, mono is quite alive still
4161 < crazedpsyc> apeiron: huh, must have been thinking of something
4162 similarly annoying that died recently
4163 <@apeiron> your hopes and dreams?
4165 * essuu wonders if _Dave is actually an email bot, programmed with just
4166 a few standard and inflamatory responses
4167 < essuu> "what?", "I don't understand" and "Where's the tea?"
4169 < countertony> There's a place near my dad's house that does really nice
4170 kebabs, and then I get a doner with no sauce or salad.
4171 < kian> Donner with no salad is cheating.
4172 < kian> How is it healthy otherwise?
4174 <@erikh> someone put on their pedantic pants this morning
4175 <@perigrin> I am a *nerd* sir ... I sleep in them.
4177 < danaj> I'm envisioning an Acme::Shout module, ala Acme::Bleach, that
4178 makes your entire package uppercase.
4179 < mauke> UPPERCASE CONSERVES BANDWIDTH BY USING LESS BITS
4181 <@gwern> you've never gotten drunk until you've gotten drunk off egg rolls
4182 <@gwern> a good night on the town ends with you face down in the wok and
4183 your pockets picked by the egg roll girls
4185 Q: What if you strapped C4 to a boomerang? Could this be an effective weapon,
4186 or would it be as stupid as it sounds? (submitted to what-if.xkcd.com)
4187 A: Aerodynamics aside, I’m curious what tactical advantage you’re expecting
4188 to gain by having the high explosive fly back at you if it misses the target.
4190 <@perigrin> if you want to know in detail how you're doing it wrong, ask
4191 a Haskell programmer.
4193 > Though, you get odd treatment [from the TSA] when they realize you're trans.
4194 > I had two people, a male and female agent, in Hawaii go "Uhm. You? No. You?"
4195 > and my reply was "How about him, because he's cuter."
4197 < yrlnry> You guys are gonna kill me this way.
4198 <@mst> yrlnry: totally my fault.
4199 <@mst> (the stupid design, not the killing)
4200 < yrlnry> ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Outlived Aaron Swartz
4202 In my experience there's only 3 major C++ styles:
4203 - BusinessObjects *(Java-ish Qt)
4204 - std::cavedwelling<stl_guru, guru_cave<const _Type<T &> >::const_value_type
4205 - void _rather_be_writing_c()
4207 <sward> “I found a box I can reproduce on”
4210 "Still. There's always a way to win."
4211 "If I said that, you'd call it wishful thinking."
4212 "If you said that, it would be. But I'm saying it, so it's game theory."
4213 (from Blindsight, by Peter Watts)
4215 <@mdk> epitaph: summon ^^
4216 * epitaph appears in the circle. Do you think such contrivances can
4219 "As a result of a meeting to prioritize the current task list rather than
4220 treat it as one huge mountain of everything that has to be done by yesterday,
4221 we now have a ranked priority list, with deadlines. Everything is priority
4222 one, and needs to be complete ASAP. This is treated as progress."
4224 * theorbtwo wonders if sheep are huggable.
4225 * theorbtwo has never been up close and personal with one.
4227 chromatic_x: What's the thing where you can't tell if something is real or a
4228 parody? http://t.co/kZFpxU4F
4229 pdcawley: @chromatic_x America?
4231 <@apeiron> anyone know if hachi's SMS listed in his oper.conf is still valid?
4232 <@apeiron> Suppose I'm about to find out
4233 <@sungo> make sure to put COCK in the sms someplace. it's our
4236 <sungo> with javascript, it's often best not to think through the 'why'
4237 <sungo> you'll only end up with more murder charges
4239 < jmac> I've burned incense and have a prayer wheel going to have IT
4240 install mod_fastcgi, which is a Thing that i Know. So far they
4241 have responded by installing mod_fcgid on an entirely different
4244 <mordy> my first rule about build systems; the simpler the better
4245 <mst> programmers like build systems that remind them of themselves
4246 <erikh> suddenly autoconf makes sense.
4248 My porn folder, age 15: C:\windows\desktop\stuff\boring stuff\old boring stuff
4249 My porn folder, age 20: C:\program files\utility\xp64\config\temp\0334
4250 My porn folder, age 25: C:\porn
4253 "Most standards are full of weasel words, like SHALL NOT (which means MAYBE)
4254 and MUST (which also means MAYBE) and REQUIRED TO (which means MAYBE but
4255 you’re supposed to feel a little guilty) and MAY (which means DO SOMETHING
4256 FUCKED UP AND RANDOM)." (dadhacker on angry protocols)
4258 <@gwern> 'it's just a wiki', I said. 'how hard could it be to scrape?' I
4259 said. 'they seem to follow a rigid format, it shouldn't be that
4260 hard.' the poor fool!
4261 < MicaiahC> and we never saw gwern again
4263 <+Corey> One /ns sendpass djmatt604
4265 < hydrogen> ooh now you need to reset your persons username!
4267 < Mojito> Giving compliments can never be done enough imho.
4268 < joel> I never do it enough
4269 < joel> I stop halfway and backhand them
4270 < joel> similar to my handjob technique tbh
4272 <@sungo> this is an "if you inject april fools shit here, I /kill you" zone.
4273 <@mst> sungo: is injecting april fools shit acceptable if you do it rectally?
4274 <@sungo> mst: only if you yell SURPRISE first.
4276 < jnap> I know a guy broke his toe and wasn't sure, did nothing and now he
4277 has to wear custom shoes for the rest of his life
4278 < jnap> as I recall he dropped his gun on his foot or something while
4281 < edenc> the company that built my closet confused 402cm with 420cm
4282 < edenc> then the guy says "oh, 20 cm isn't a big deal"
4283 < edenc> and my wife said, right, I'll shove a 2cm dildo up your ass then
4284 a 20cm dildo and we'll see if it doesn't make a difference
4286 < tm604> invariant, noun: variable that the sub will modify on the sly.
4287 see also: outvariant (a variable that will change value at some
4288 unspecified and inconvenient point in the future)
4290 <@apeiron> Declining bacon is suspicious
4291 < Su-Shee> it's the heretic belief of bacon being unhealthy.
4292 <@hobbs> I don't even know the declension of bacon.
4294 <mst> < Mae> I didn't mean for the cat to be pink. she rolled in chalk. x.x
4295 <mst> ... looking at logs, I think the chalk was a penis drawn on the patio
4296 <ether> the cat disapproved
4297 <mst> if by disapproved you mean "rolled in the chalk cock", then yes
4299 <@joel> then again, it's funny how poly people are
4300 almost always horribly unattractive
4301 <@jjl> joel: i know quite a few pretty ones
4302 <@quicksilver> jjl: pieces of eight, pieces of eight!
4304 <@sungo> wait. it's a federal crime to send a letter (or, given many
4305 court cases, an *email*) threatening to injure someone?
4306 <@sungo> Dear god. I've a 400 year life sentence ahead of me
4308 < LeoNerd> I ended up giving up because curses is SEVEN SHADES OF INSANE
4310 < huf> i want compilers to include a god damned spellchecker service
4311 where a man drives up to the office in a tank and KILLS the
4313 < huf> sessionDetialMap <- fucking hell.
4315 <@sungo> oh goddamit.
4316 <@sungo> they shipped it via usps
4317 <@sungo> I fucking hate the usps
4318 <@sungo> I'd rather they ship it via hobos
4320 < apeiron> you can bring the horse to water, you can shove its head
4321 underwater, you can send it to the bottom of the Marianas
4322 Trench... it has to *want* to drink, really, truly, and
4323 for most horses they have to think it's their idea
4325 Student 1: “Before I came to uni, I wanted to be an astrophysicist.”
4326 Student 2: “I wanted to be a geneticist.”
4327 Student 3: “I wanted to be happy.”
4328 (from http://notalwayslearning.com/schoolyard-of-broken-dreams/30803 )
4330 1. Is it a lock file? Put it in /var/lock.
4331 2. Do you think it needs to go in /lib/init/rw?
4332 Go hit yourself with a lump hammer. Then retry the question.
4333 3. put it in /var/run (the epitaph algorithm for directory choice)
4335 < teejay_pic1> indeed we can only hope you embrace your inner gay pirate
4337 <@osfameron> embrace it? I'm tenderly humping its leg as we speak.
4339 <@jkg> how could I have missed a 70s custard-eating alien flick?
4340 <@jkg> I mean, that's my favourite genre of all!
4342 * quicksilver is momentarily baffled to see a systems ticket about
4343 'BREAST mitigation' go past
4345 < Mae> |: The cat just licked my hand. I'm fairly certain tonight is the
4346 night she murders me.
4347 <@mst> that or throws up on your face at 3am
4348 < Mae> I think I'd rather be murdered
4350 <@ubu> i'm so old i still pronounce SOAP as "OMFG what the hell are you
4351 people doing stop that immediately"
4353 < perigrin> also doesn't help that they're all PST and I'm EST.
4354 < mst> that's because you have kids, I like clients being a few hours behind :)
4355 < apeiron> behind is lovely. ahead is kill -KILL $$
4356 < apeiron> feel free to quote that out of context.
4358 <sungo> God I hate NFS.
4359 <mst> "Dear sungo: I'm God. I don't care. Why are you tweeting at me?"
4360 <sungo> imposter! I can't get tweets from god because god doesn't exist!
4361 Even if he did, the response would just be LIGHTNING BOLT
4363 <@mako132> woo the thrill of bringing a server room back online after
4364 doing massive power cord rewiring
4365 <@mako132> WHAT COULD GO
4368 < riba> jesus fuck, do people ever stop to think these days...?
4369 < mst> you're suggesting that they once did?
4370 < riba> mst: yes... I mean... yes... sigh... you suck man!
4371 < riba> mst: YOU REMINDING ME OF THE REALITY OFFENDS ME!!!
4373 <@chargrill> MY FIST APPEARS TO BE MISSING FROM THE BACK OF YOUR SKULL,
4374 LET ME PLACE IT THERE VIA YOUR FACE
4376 < perigrin> rjbs: "SSL Wants a read first" I think is suggesting you
4377 haven't read OpenSSL a bedtime story in too long and perhaps
4378 it's feeling neglected and lonely?
4379 * perigrin felt there were enough "useful" answers already.
4381 < dorian> "Permission denied in replay cache code" wat
4382 < dorian> obviously it can't open a file, but it wouldn't be sporting to
4383 tell me which fucking one
4385 < perigrin> I'll deal with my procrastination problem eventually.
4386 < apeiron> in the same way mongo does?
4387 < perigrin> No, i'm married. Shitting the bed is not an option.
4389 < thrig> I have two clocks at work, one stuck at 4:50 with "HOPE" written
4390 on it, the other has the hands in a pile at the bottom
4393 <@sungo> my oldest cat just got stuck to his scratching post
4394 <@sungo> I let him drag it angrily across the room before offering to help
4395 <@sungo> and by "let him", I mean "watched him laughing my ass off"
4397 <@sri> hahaha... a hello world in rails requires 29557 objects
4399 <@marty> The world is a big place. Maybe rails goal is to have a
4400 personal object for each of us. I feel special.
4402 <ribasushi> this is as much a bugreport as I am Ron Jeremy
4404 <@denny> dipsy: primal scream
4405 <@denny> dipsy: primal scream?
4406 <+dipsy> denny: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHH
4407 <@denny> jolly good.
4409 <@perigrin> I'm not sure I want to read the goatsee book.
4410 <@mst> scratch 'n' sniff
4411 <@perigrin> mst: I suppose that's better than "Pop Up"
4412 <@DrForr> It's got a great appendix.
4414 < Aquarion> Also, Kindle on the iPad keeps getting itself a new device
4415 ID, and I don't know how. So according to Amazon store, the
4416 book is going to be delivered to "Aquarion's 8th iPad", which
4417 makes me look like I use them as chopping boards or something.
4419 < Su-Shee> I can't decide on a cat.
4420 < DrForr> I thought it was the other way around.
4421 < thrig> Su-Shee: just set PATH, it will find a cat
4423 < thrig> Web 3.14, now with rounding
4424 < mst> Web 3.141, now with slightly higher resolution rounding
4425 < apeiron> Web 3.14299999999999, running on a Pentium 150
4428 * ether shoots mst's corpse for good measure
4430 <@DrForr> "Show me on this UML diagram where the enterprise touched you."
4432 < locsmif> 'I used XML::Simple to configure our backyard nuclear mini-reactor'
4433 < locsmif> 'Would not recommend'
4434 < mst> 'Am slightly crispy'
4435 < popl> 'The burn center employees are all very nice.'
4437 < apeiron> Remember to check out Irssi's Facebook fan page, Google+
4438 Community and LinkedIn group as well.
4441 <@mst> a support incident is almost always arguably attributable to a
4443 <@sungo> those goddamn gahs
4446 <@sungo> god we're old: frances bean cobain turned 21 last month.
4447 <@perigrin> sungo: she also got her carry permit ...
4448 <@mst> kinda hard to conceal a shotgun though
4449 <@perigrin> just gotta carry it up stairs. the M.E. will carry it back down.
4451 <@jkg> I'm slightly surprised the residents association thing for my new
4452 flat use a phpbb forum rather than a facebook group
4453 <@jkg> the phrase "lesser of two evils" applies, I'm just not sure to which
4455 < kyriel> "In short, this job is a frenzied, toxic concoction of
4456 unreasonable expectations sublimating in a delirious eldritch
4457 miasma of inexplicably redundant and technologically stunted
4458 soviet era byzantine inefficiency." Too harsh?
4460 <@mst> apparently the TSA recently changed the rules to allow carry-on of
4462 < Su-Shee> if I can capture a plane with a vibrator of ANY size, I seriously
4463 have EARNED the plane.
4465 <@joel> ahhh junkies ... i remember getting bollocked by one in Dean St
4466 <@joel> I'd had the temerity to open the phonebox he was slumped in at
4467 lunchtime to check if he was OK
4468 <@joel> and he dropped his spoon
4470 < quicksilver> I don't know that much about TBSliver.
4471 < quicksilver> I know a little more about mst.
4472 < quicksilver> something about "< mst> TBSliver++ # fire" makes me
4475 <@osfameron> so. yesterday I discovered that my dad types newlines at top
4476 and bottom of his Word documents ("just for printing") to get
4478 <@osfameron> why couldn't he have secretly been a Nazi or something instead?
4480 < ether> mauke: if you ship a new() that doesn't die on error I will come
4482 < ether> and mst will set fire to your corpse afterwards
4484 < popl> Then again, peacocks are assholes.
4485 < dthor> looks like an eagle and a wolverine mated
4486 <@mst> that would look really freaking weird if the wolverine was on top
4487 < dthor> plus the eagle would explode
4489 < ribasushi> did I miss all the twat...?
4490 * joel saved some sushitwat for later
4491 <@joel> i really wanna rephrase that
4492 < ribasushi> nope, goes into the quote annals
4494 < lee> I keep seeing trailers for The Hobbit
4495 < lee> and thinking "jeez, haven't they released that yet?"
4496 < lee> how the bloody hell did I miss that
4497 < Dom> Didn't you get the memo? If not, someone should have given you a ring.
4499 <@jkg> I find it slightly scary that I've failed to keep up with
4500 debian releases, given the pace of them :)
4501 <@jkg> it's a bit like failing to outrun a glacier.
4503 <@nperez> putting words like "technocrat" in your CV makes me want to
4504 invite you for an interview if only to stab you in the face and
4505 then throw you out a window
4507 <@stonecolddevin> every time i set it up i found myself crossing my fingers
4508 hoping that whatever perl i was trying to install would work
4509 <@stonecolddevin> most times it worked but every now and again mutant
4510 manbearpig would crawl out of my terminal
4512 < thrig> probably from drinking too much beer
4513 < sjohnson> definitely a possibility
4514 < mst> explain this "too much beer" concept
4515 < thrig> usually the floor does
4517 * alh sends gizmomathboy a PDF embedded in a PNG of a screen shot of a
4518 JPG of a cell phone camera taking a picture of the computer screen
4519 <@gizmomathboy> yo dawg I hear you like to use a shitty medium to send a
4520 shitty medium in a shitty medium...so I just sent you a pdf
4522 < ribasushi> when one writes 'perldoc -f tar' meaning to look at the tar
4523 manpage... it's time to go for a walk
4525 <@SlayerXP> joel: do you know how to recognise a pitbull?
4526 <@joel> SlayerXP: do you mean an actual American Bull Terrier?
4527 <@SlayerXP> joel: if it's ugly, covered in bristly hair and has an
4528 agrresive temprement, then the dog it owns will be a pitbull
4530 * dngor accidentally tars a directory to stdout, regrets same, presses
4531 ^C, buries terminal until it stops beeping.
4537 "Here we have an *interesting* junction where there are 2 lots of green
4538 lights, one for left turn, one for straight on. And they come on at different
4539 times to allow people across. Sadly the unaware see green and go, often
4540 collecting pedestrians on the way. We call it malfunction junction" -- Hunter
4542 95 named methods, living in this class
4543 95 named methods, living in this class
4544 and if one such method is factored out at last
4545 there'll be 94 named methods, living in this class
4547 * kbk knew that, but missed the spacebaron the keyboard
4548 <evilotto> Space Baron!
4549 <suchenwi> Hail to the spacebaron!
4551 < mst> ... ogods. I haven't windows updated this laptop for a while.
4552 < TBSliver> security by obscurity? :P
4553 < mst> more "security by not being powered on"
4555 <@kd> unless you count my daughter's school laptop
4556 <@kd> which is a nightmare
4557 <@kd> I could always talk to her school's it support unit
4558 <@kd> but that would mean talking to her school's it support unit
4560 < Zoffix> "To comment, you need to connect your channel with Google+. However,
4561 your channel has a Google+ profile that has been suspended."
4562 < Zoffix> Fuck YOU, google! I'm not giving you my fucking passport just
4563 to prove my fucking name is real, you bunch of retarded cunts.
4565 <seven> When Hulu fails to load an ad, it puts a button the screen that
4566 reads "Click Here to Enable Ads." It might as well say "Click
4567 Here to Enable AIDS"; that's how little anyone wants to touch it.
4569 <@SlayerXP> i always thought it might be fun to turn up to a reflexologists
4570 complaining about pains in your feet, hands and ears
4571 <@djh> SlayerXP: I suppose you want to go to an acupuncturist and ask if
4572 they can help you with your fear of needles, too?
4574 <@joel> i'd throw my bra at mst
4575 <@joel> i think he'd throw it back though
4577 <@joel> damn feminist
4579 <@perigrin> My joy at receiving the sock and being a Free House Elf was
4580 undiminished by the crust it contained.
4582 * ribasushi goes to kill yet another kitten
4583 <@mst> ribasushi: don't forget to rape it first. kitten tears sell for double.
4584 <@ribasushi> mst: killing a virgin kitten is blasphemy! I'd never do that
4586 < theorbtwo> Ah, that lovely day when your parents ask you if your
4587 therapist ever did something untoward toward you, and you
4588 realize that you can't even get any action from a
4589 pedophiliac who you saw twice a week.
4591 <@davorg> Quick maths puzzle: If you got one dart in each scoring area on
4592 a dartboard, what would your total be?
4593 <@Trelane> You'd be disqualified for cheating
4594 <@Trelane> since you're meant to only have three darts
4596 < rindolf> tbti: which position are the resumes for?
4597 < tbti> rindolf - I typically go through the entire kamasutra.
4598 < rindolf> tbti: what?
4599 < Su-Shee> tbti: oh boy .. that's very long interviews then, isn't it?
4601 < sng> Isn't cricket basically baseball but even more boring?
4603 < ether> I'm a horrible parent. I got my cat high on catnip and brushed the
4604 shit out of him, and now he has a nearly-bald patch on one shoulder
4605 < ether> usually he stops me when I brush too vigorously, but he was high
4608 < mst> there's few things quite as disturbing as seeing two head lice fall out
4609 of your hair at once, and realising the reason is they were fucking and
4610 forgot to hold on ... and are still copulating on the desk surface in
4611 front of you, completely unruffled by their descent through space
4613 < ether> IT'S CHAINS ALL THE WAY DOWN
4614 < ether> this is the shit that nitrous was made for
4616 <@jkg> argh software. argh character sets. argh argh. argh!
4617 <@djh> such software. many character sets. wow pain
4618 <@Zefram> so codepoint
4619 <@Zefram> very encode
4621 <@perigrin> ribasushi: I know you don't believe me when I say this but
4622 not *every* changelog has monkey penises in it.
4624 < ether> fucking prolog, using a cock-and-balls operator and all
4625 < ether> I should file a harassment claim against the language, forcing
4626 me to type :- on every line
4627 < ether> STOP OPPRESSING ME OVER MY GENITALIA
4629 <@perigrin> "Have you ever experienced trying to shave your privates with
4630 numb fingers? Using your app isn't that fun."
4632 * cat-xeger is tired of neighbours
4633 < alh> That's why I moved to the woods. I can barely see my neighbors,
4634 and if they become a problem, I have plenty of room to bury them
4635 where no one will notice
4637 < mst> popl: see. they DO learn.
4638 < popl> mst: Are you sure?
4639 < mst> popl: You Have Three Lifelines Left
4640 < DrForr> Ironically the last one is "ask on IRC."
4642 <@ct> TIL that fat guys, like black people or asians, all look alike.
4643 <@ct> "I put that laptop on your desk."
4645 <@ct> "That laptop, I put it... You're not Derek, are you?"
4647 <@ether> at the very least you can enjoy watching me hoisted on my own retard
4649 < Su-Shee> god I hate when they break the internet.
4652 <@sungo> Sorry. I'll plug that back in
4654 -!- ether [~ether@93.158.54.178] has joined #perl
4655 -!- ether_ [~ether@93.158.54.178] has joined #perl
4656 <@mst> redundant array of ... canadians?
4657 <@mst> ether_: you're spawning, dear
4659 < netstar> PHP makes me want to soil myself for fun
4661 < perigrin> however as a circumcised male, comparing it to
4662 female-circumcision is *rediculous* to begin with
4663 < perigrin> they're not even the same ballpart of injury.
4664 < mst> that was the best typo ever.
4666 < Altreus> we have a fairly well-structured codebase because I shout a lot
4668 * mst learned C from qmail, ex-vi, and perl5
4669 <@sungo> and it explains a LOT
4671 < Fatalnix> I have come to realize that Facebook is a useful resource for
4672 if you would like to perform a background check on someone you
4673 don't know very well, and need to determine their IQ quickly.
4675 < apeiron> ERROR: Could not find a valid gem 'hiera-eyaml' (>= 0) in any
4676 repository # hmm, looks like ruby is telling me to write a
4677 distributed map-reduce function in erlang
4679 < LeoNerd> joel: Now you've got me musing on the subject of a
4680 "surprise ending" to a blowjob....
4681 < LeoNerd> So many things come to mind
4682 < LeoNerd> First of which is one of those pop-out "BANG!" flags
4684 < chansen> mst: http://www.seas.upenn.edu/~strctlrn/MSTParser/MSTParser.html
4685 <@mst> chansen: my favourite expansions of MST are still 'most
4686 spectacular tits' and 'maladie sexuelle transmissible' :D
4687 < joel> I always thought it stood for "Makes stupidpeople think"
4689 < LeoNerd> Oh you don't want to get me started on C++. Really :)
4690 < LeoNerd> It's best to treat it like the third Matrix film
4692 <@ribasushi> fucking tech.
4693 <@perigrin> plugged your vibrator into your irc client again?
4694 <@ribasushi> the other way around
4695 <@ribasushi> your voice was most climaxing
4697 < sng> I love it when I threaten a voice response phone system with
4698 violence and it sends me where I want to go.
4700 <@rjbs> New rule: rjbs isn't done talking until he's clarified what he
4701 just said at least once.
4702 * rjbs then annoyingly declines to clarify that rule.
4704 * Phagus also listened gratuitiously to Rammstein. Phagus would also
4705 think the Perl community would benefit greatly from a metal band that
4707 < hippie> do... do BLOCK... do BLOCK while!
4709 <sungo> this is where "jury of your peers" is so badly done these days
4710 <sungo> "peers" doesn't mean "humans". If you, say, murdered that person,
4711 you should be put on trial in front of other programmers who
4712 would acquit you in 5 minutes
4714 < DrForr> I'm pretty sure that everyone that's looked at Unicode
4715 collation either went insane or went on to write the perl RE
4716 optimizer. There isn't much difference.
4718 < quicksilver> in a recent survery, 9 out of 10 language
4719 sadists^Wdesigners agreed that *misleading* stack traces
4720 were much more amusing than either correct or completely
4721 absent stack traces.
4723 < Hazelesque> compiling postgresql on AIX with IBM XL C... fml
4725 * mst sets ribasushi on fire
4726 <@mst> (and inhales)
4727 < ribasushi> big mistake
4728 < ribasushi> now you are having visions of doge-hitler
4730 < triddle> I forgot that mysql thinks acid is an interesting idea and not
4733 < phaylon> damnit. title is always called data. except two levels down,
4735 * mst passes the bong
4736 * kaitlyn intercepts.
4738 < jkg> my entire professional interaction with CVS is working for a
4739 company called that, where someone had decided our modules should
4740 live in a CVS::* namespace
4741 < jkg> which broke /no tools at all/, honest.
4743 <mst> fuck. customer request that involves integrating with BT.
4744 * mst starts the 'minutes to CANNOT UNSEE timer'
4745 <mst> "To ensure security all transactions are encrypted using FTP over TLS"
4746 * mst stops the timer at 1
4748 <@ether> mephinet: nooooo don't convert *to* Module::Build!
4749 -!- ether is now known as MaginotLine
4750 * MaginotLine shouts: "turn around! you're pointing the wrong way!"
4752 <@perigrin> dear cat, the reason you find it so uncomfortable to lay
4753 there is because I AM FUCKING TYPING ON THAT KEYBOARD.
4755 * kaitlyn wants big data
4756 < kaitlyn> I don't know what I would do with it though.
4757 < kaitlyn> Maybe pet it.
4759 < anno> IRC is a competition between regulars and perl newcomers. both
4760 parties are trying to get the other side to give them code, but
4763 < corgifex> you can rely on the spec
4764 < Soltis> corgifex: No you can't.
4765 < corgifex> well, I can, it just may not work
4767 <@frew> I was considering (don't stab me!) overloading isa for sugar reasons
4772 < thrig> "evening everyone"? as a member of the American Alliance Against
4773 Alliteration and Assonance, I find this disturbing.
4775 < TorgoX> Yiddish is interesting except that most of it is written all
4777 < TorgoX> ][|['|][] ']['] ']N]''[]'|[]||[]N etc
4779 < kyshtynbai> mst: numbers are seconds?
4780 < mst> kyshtynbai: what did 'perldoc -f sleep' tell you when you read it?
4781 < mark_t> perldoc -f sleep
4782 < mark_t> Gaah, beat by mst again. By Lothar's hammar, I will be avenged!
4784 * nperez does his best trollface in a top hat impression while riding
4785 off into the sunset on his shitty beater city bike
4786 <%stonecolddevin> nperez: hope you get shot in the side of the penis
4787 <@ribasushi> .oO( he was a fierce warrior but then took an arrow to the cock )
4789 < sungo> my retirement plan is to die at my desk of a rage induced stroke
4791 < ether> clearly we need a new language where isms are not possible
4792 < ether> we'll be reduced to grunting and pointing because no words will
4794 < ether> and then pointing will be banned because it evokes male penetration
4796 <@Trelane> whoever wrote .split() in JavaScript needs a good shouting at
4797 <@Trelane> "foo:bar:baz".split(":",2); # returns ["foo","bar"]
4798 <@tomboh> ah, an "off by zero" error
4799 <@osfameron> those are always the hardest to debug
4801 <@sungo> this is why we need YAPC: Sealand. "0830-2200: Shooting at
4802 passing boats while consuming ungodly amounts of prohibited
4805 < Altreus> I don't really know how windows works I'm afraid
4806 < Dynetrekk> you have my full understanding and sympathy. I strive towards
4807 knowing as little as possible about windows, but the universe
4808 is in wild disagreement. I used to be like you, and miss it.
4810 This site may contain "forward-looking statements" ... make note that I'm a
4811 goddamn moron, have no "inside information" and, if I did, I certainly as fuck
4812 wouldn't tell you. Any predictions I make are likely to be wrong, misinformed
4813 or just plain stupid. (from the disclaimer on sungo.us)
4815 <@mst> after the amount of ruby you've been writing, I'm amazed you
4816 remembered consent exists
4817 <@sungo> you're saying that monkeypatching is just a big word for rape?
4818 <@perigrin> that's the metaclass-archy telling you that monkeypatching is okay
4820 < ribasushi> .oO( hmmm... don't dodge your fears... hmmm... I can see it now:
4821 Matthew Trout starring in the scheduled reboot: octopusman
4822 begins, the purple code of conduct knight, the code of conduct
4825 <ether> oh god fuck AWS
4826 * ether carefully retreats back into the shadows
4828 < corgifex> ... you murder people on IRC?
4829 < mst> if talking somebody into committing suicide counts, then yes, once
4830 < rindolf> mst: at least you can laugh at your own faults.
4831 < mst> rindolf: it's so cute you think that last line was a joke.
4833 < brazucawins> i'm already banned
4834 <@mst> you make a good point.
4835 -!- brazucawins was kicked from #perl by mst [brazucawins]
4836 < mst> worst. evader. ever.
4838 < triddle> Just saw this message show up in the official debian EC2 AMI:
4839 2014-06-17 20:33:10,594 - stages.py[WARNING]: Module ssh-import-id
4840 is verified on ['ubuntu'] distros but not on debian distro. It may
4841 or may not work correctly.
4843 <@rjbs> successfully trolled by internet
4844 <@rjbs> spent hours torrenting movie
4845 <@rjbs> it's been dubbed into Italian
4847 <@autarch> I just find this stuff hilarious
4848 <@autarch> I've been saying for years that we'd start seeing
4849 ruby/python/php/befunge is dying talk eventually
4850 <@autarch> I think I want to go work in fashion where things are less faddish
4852 < Mort> "I am going to shove the sunshine so far up where there sun don't
4853 shine that you will vomit nothing but warm summer days!"
4855 * Winterbay has two kids atm and so makes things easier for himself by
4856 putting them in a pool.
4857 < Hunter> Don't forget...shouty end up...
4858 < Hunter> It's one of those little details you don't want to miss...
4860 < _druu> Hi I know text file Sql Database Replication
4861 < _druu> it's pretty easy... you just make a new file, write in some
4862 text, like you do with an email. and send it to
4863 fuckme@ohgodwhy.nope
4865 <@sungo> I think my oldest cat may have learned to code.
4866 <@sungo> I opened some really terrible code. He came over, sat directly
4867 in front of that terminal and began licking his ass.
4869 15:31 * thrig goes back to reading the tea leaves as to what "Internet
4872 15:36 < thrig> damn kids and their firefox .lock files
4874 < corgifex> Sound: did you just say the OTRS code is clean?
4875 < corgifex> I don't remember anything except for an icky feeling
4876 < corgifex> I don't want to touch it again
4878 < sungo> I've always been here, in spirit, in the face of every beaten
4879 orphan, every drowned kitten, every burnt freezer pizza
4881 < frew> ok fellas, I have to go to lunch, I'll talk with you later
4882 < frew> (after lunch is "learn about TLS" time, I'm excited and scared)
4883 < tom_m> interesting approach - most people skip that step then act all
4884 surprised when the next CVE gets published =)
4886 <@ct> All boxes are perfect unless and until exposed to end users.
4887 <@ct> sometimes I want to build a server with an air gap and just let it run
4889 < alh> sungo: Once you work for Comcast, convince them to come down my road
4890 < sungo> alh: no. I'll do the exact opposite.
4891 < alh> You are the worst.
4892 < sungo> alh: PROVE YOU ARE NOT USING NANO ANYMORE AND YOU CAN HAVE TV
4894 Spammers on dadhacker will be killed in a manner which is difficult to
4895 describe, as it involves a ladder, three large farm animals of different
4896 species, a high-output electric generator, fifteen years of National
4897 Geographic back-issues, toasted walnuts and a television tuned to QVC.
4899 <@sungo> http://vendor.bullshit/please/do/some.other.domain/pants
4901 <@cms> first i stopped using multiple monitors. then i moved everything
4902 over to the laptop display. next i expect i'll dim the screen
4903 entirely and navigate by sense of smell
4905 < rindolf> #perl has become so quiet.
4906 * rindolf wants ACTION.
4907 < dminus> rindolf: ask mst a silly question
4910 < sivoais> the bit in the NAME section for the module doesn't help with
4911 understanding the purpose: "JSON::XS for Cpanel"
4912 <@ether> sivoais: it's hard to say "we forked it because the original
4913 author is a cunt" in an ABSTRACT
4915 < joel> ether: that's not reassuring, but I understand that this is a
4916 reaction to MLEHMANN
4917 < joel> it does still seem like an attempt to solve a problem with code
4918 < joel> that would be better solved with a dark room and rubber hoses
4920 * p5commits H.Merijn Brand" pushed to blead ...
4921 <@vincent> eh, what's this double quote doing there
4922 <@mst> WAITING TO POUNCE ON AN UNSUSPECTING SINGLE QUOTE AND EAT IT
4923 <@vincent> is this covered by the civility policy
4925 < TheMesquito> My quit message is not working :(
4926 < mst> real IRCers stay connected 24/7 anyway
4927 < mst> quit messages are a sign of weakness
4929 <@sungo> What you do is you get rid of all the restrictions on HFT but
4930 put them in their own sandbox
4931 <@sungo> they'll iterate into godlike AI and kill us all
4932 <@sungo> it'll be great
4934 < mst> LeoNerd: what could possibly go wrong?
4935 < LeoNerd> mst: Please don't ask me that question without a LIMIT clause
4937 <@mst> what, you think I want to remember how this works?
4938 <@mst> the last time I managed to remember how part of core worked for
4939 more than about 20 minutes at a time, it resulted in Devel::Declare
4940 <@LeoNerd> Yes - we can't let that happen again
4942 <@rjbs> I'm more of an *ideal man*, ladies.
4943 <@mst> rjbs: in that your manhood doesn't actually exist?
4944 <@rjbs> mst: but the shadow of my dick on the cave wall? amazing
4946 <@wright> Speaking of which, I’ll be heading up the introverts BOF this
4947 year. Everybody please meet in your own room starting
4948 promptly at 5:00 until the following morning.
4950 <@ether> I've had drugs like that
4951 <@ether> mind you they also made me take apart the VCR
4953 <@ew73> Monday, the annual anchovy migration apparently swam upriver.
4954 <@ew73> And successfully de-oxygenated the entire river, and the whole
4956 <@ew73> There are.. a lot of seagulls.
4958 < jkg> right, a bunch of local friends all want to set up some kind of shared
4959 hosting environment, and their first pub bikeshedding session is
4960 tonight, so I need to go and shout random colours at them
4963 <@rjbs> our annoying neighbors were using a leaf blower in December
4965 <@chargrill> snow? how does that even work?
4966 <@rjbs> It doesn't. Next question?
4968 < jmac> Prayer wheels that drone IA IA SHUB INTERNET et cetera, yes
4969 < jmac> There's a hack that requires a certain service from timing out
4970 only by a crontask that pings a listener with HE COMES in
4971 enochian script (thank goodness for UTF-8) every five minutes
4973 < sproingie> we have a chaos monkey workalike. it's called ops.
4975 * mst collects mohawk's tears for later use
4976 < mohawk> for suitable voodoo, one assumes
4977 < mst> that or as lube
4978 < Mithaldu> newbies don't slide into volunteering easily
4980 <@ether> hey, cat, you'd stay a lot more hidden if you didn't say "mrr?"
4981 whenever I said your name :)
4982 <@ether> hiding: FAIL
4984 < xan> Now to suck the nougat out of tarballs with
4985 Archive::Libarchive::XS in a most performant manner!
4986 < triddle> does it also get the cream from between oreos?
4987 < xan> That will be supported in a future release.
4989 <@cxreg> This One Guy at work, every time he touches git it's like a
4990 mentallly disabled person with a chainsaw. I swear I'm going to
4991 revoke his push privileges
4993 < Dorward> *headdesk*
4994 < Dorward> *headdesk*
4995 < Dorward> *headdesk*
4996 < Dorward> *headdesk*
4998 <perigrin> my @sperm = ( ~~<>, ~~<>, ~~<> );
5000 <@trog> "where in the building are you located" Um ... I have no idea, come
5001 to the second floor and start yelling.
5003 < tm604> decide for yourself, or provide more information on requirements
5004 < huf> and until then, prepare for snark :D
5005 < huf> well, and after.
5007 * triddle invents the grope operator - it randomly invokes methods on
5008 objects until one of them doesn't throw an exception anymore
5009 < triddle> why fight it? this is how programming is done anyway
5011 <@idn> errietta: I can't wait too long, I have 20 mins to get this done :-P
5012 <@idn> Or clj will string me up
5013 * mst calls dibs on the youtube rights
5014 <@idn> mst: Thanks, as always for your support... :-)
5016 * jkg stares at the prototype for mesh()
5017 < huf> (\@;\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@\@)
5018 < PerlJam> I'm wondering what the thought process was.
5019 < thrig> natural 1 on the Ballmer Peak roll?
5021 <@sungo> if you were to visualize ruby's duck typing, the duck would be
5022 oozing blood from all its orifices, have a black eye and
5023 stubmling around in the gutters
5025 <@gizmomathboy> stupid computers...always doing exactly what you tell them
5026 <@ashley> gizmomathboy: use windows
5028 < Kassandry> Oh yeah! That's right, [David Tennant] married Peter Davison's
5029 daughter. Forgot about that.
5030 < Dorward> "What's the weirdest thing a fan ever gave you?"
5031 < Dorward> "A grandchild"
5033 <@castaway> osfameron: pop quiz, what's HyperCat?
5034 <@aef> It's like Cat, but more so.
5035 <@tomboh> is it the knitted cat?
5036 <@jkg> isn't it a cat in n dimensions where n > 3?
5038 < xan> Ah, yes, a joke! So, I threw a bukkake party this weekend.
5039 < xan> It was a disaster >_<
5041 < Kassandry> I am so so glad I finished swallowing before I saw that.
5043 <@xan> For trog is actually quite lovely.
5044 <@mst> I'm not sure I've ever seen anybody accuse you of that before
5045 <@trog> usually it happens when people see me out side of a drinking setting.
5046 <@trog> which is why it rarely happens.
5048 * ubu considers his lunch options
5050 <@xan> I'll go fetch the blender
5051 <@trog> a modest proposal for lunch.
5053 <%trog> I’ve actualy no problem with coors as a plant.
5054 <%trog> It’s got a zero emmision carbon foot print and it’s the largest I
5055 think self sustained brewery in the country.
5056 <@sungo> pissing into a bottle is a pretty low carbon event, yes
5058 < mohawk> this is wonderful
5059 < mohawk> EUMM's MM_Unix has init_PERL, then init_PERM
5060 < mohawk> there isn't an init_PERN, presumably because of the fear of
5061 ongoing threads-related problems
5063 <@djh> heh. My gf didn't know about the "Ok, google" voice command for her
5064 android phone, and was most annoyed that I demo'd both it and some of
5065 its dangers by saying "ok, google midget porn" within its hearing >:)
5067 "Oh, and to fully implement TAP you need to implement YAML."
5069 "Well, I'll invent a subset of it and you'll have to restrict output to that."
5072 < Simon> every disaster movie has to fulfill its US Landmarks Points Quotient
5074 < Edmund> Kincaid: You remember a couple of years ago when I misplaced a
5075 2 in an equation and thought the universe was exploding?
5077 < DrForr> Always wanted to shoot a mime with a silencer to see what would
5080 < master> Terrible screaming.
5082 < ttkai> jsn - can you toss it back at whoever generated the file and
5083 tell them to generate it correctly?
5084 < jsn> It was generated by me, about 11 years ago.
5086 < frew> leont: augh, why does installing Module::Build take so long?
5088 < leont> Because its tests are dumb
5089 < leont> Well, and the rest of it too
5091 <@rjbs> I've got two smartos hosts of very slightly differing builds, one
5093 <@perigrin> the question now is how badly did you fuck up the one that works
5095 < quicksilver> I am on a train.
5096 < quicksilver> I have just spotted someone, a couple of tables up, using
5098 < quicksilver> enormous temptation to hit random keys on his keyboard
5100 < alh> We can't all be winners :|
5101 <@sungo> clearly, look at stonecolddevin
5102 <%stonecolddevin> i did almost kill myself trying to make espresso yesterday
5104 * cat is feeling a tad rough today.
5105 * hikari sands and polishes cat.
5106 * Kincaid gets the buffer
5108 < ningu> anyway, I think it's a matter of degree. I basically
5109 agree with you. but in some cases programmers are more fungible
5110 than others, in practice.
5111 < mauke> it's a matter of degree. I don't have a degree.
5113 < xan> I have a gag reflex to C++
5115 <perigrin> Backend Engineering ... that's a lot of leg lifts and squats right?
5116 <sungo> more like... stretches
5117 <xan> You wanna BRO OUT AND CRUSH SOME CODE???
5118 * xan crushes a beer can on her forehead
5120 < trog> Yeah I don't know how Mongo is Spelling Double Penetration with a B
5122 <@ubu> my favorite mythical creature is The Vegan Who Never Mentions It.
5124 Line items from an internal project log:
5125 * Meeting about laying out processes, a new process
5126 * Writing up notes from first meeting, the notes strike back
5127 * Meeting about laying out processes, return of the processes
5129 < mauke> Remember, consent can't be given under the influence of alcohol,
5130 so you can't legally fuck tiramisu.
5132 <@tomboh> I'd much rather be endorsed for "getting up in the morning" (which I
5133 don't mind sometimes, but haven't been endorsed for) than "PHP"
5134 (which I dislike, but have been endorsed for)
5136 < ct> we're trying to clean up crontabs written by morons
5138 < ct> 00 00 1 * * /scripts/backups/audit > .dev.null 2>&1
5139 < ct> yes, .dev.null
5141 <tyler> Good news: It doesn't look that bad so far in the console
5142 <tyler> Bad news: That's probably lies, who knows, it's AWS
5144 <mst> so, sri threw his toys out of the pram and cancelled his MongoDB client
5145 * ether simplifies that expression to "sri threw his toys out of the pram"
5146 * ether simplifies further to "sri"
5148 Nitric acid is a *solvent*. It's not a solution until you put something else
5149 in it. Like Lennaert Poettering, perhaps.
5150 -- Steve VanDevender
5152 < masak> if macros don't give you the power to do ridiculously
5153 inadvisable things to your program, I will consider my mission
5156 CATS: We got a lifetime of naps and belly rubs. What about you?
5157 HUMANS: Superior intellect
5158 CATS: Cool, what's it for?
5159 HUMANS: Math and feeling bad
5161 < skaufman> the title of this channel should be "you're probably
5163 (irc.perl.org #dbix-class)
5165 <%trg404> Hmm apparently in 1814 there was a tidal wave of beer gushing
5167 <%trg404> 180 years later, Perl 5 is released.
5169 < ether> now that the weather's turned cool, the cat is back on the bed.
5170 he always ends up like a sausage between us, head down, so when
5171 he stretches, I get feet planted in my face
5172 < ether> nothing says I love you like a face full of fur
5175 < cat> Cinder just spewed from the top of the cat tree
5176 < kian> And that is what we call a fountain of vomit.
5177 < Kincaid> is her head rotating?
5179 < mst> here has two modes: "raining" and "thinking about raining"
5180 < theorbtwo> There is a theory that every few years, the gods remove the
5181 clouds to have a look, see that Lancaster is still there,
5182 and then hurriedly put them back again.
5184 < LeoNerd> Ahyes... multiple clocks
5185 < mst> I always have trouble reading the last 'l' when somebody says that
5186 < LeoNerd> COCK_MONOTONIC
5188 * kentnl will go to a special hell where demons will modify my internals
5189 without my approval for all time
5191 <@pete> Perhaps. I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that UKIP voters are pretty
5192 hard to nail to specific demographics
5193 < t0m> That's only as they won't hold still, the slippery buggers.
5194 < t0m> Either that, or I need a better nailgun
5196 < castaway> hmpf.. where is my package!
5197 < mst> in your pants?
5198 * castaway looks at mst..
5199 * ribasushi looks at castaway from mst's pants
5201 <@trg404> Optimistic outlooks help.
5202 <@jasonmay> I have an optimistic outlook express
5203 <@rabcyr> Maybe y'all could exchange
5205 14:32 -!- tyler has quit [Ping timeout: 20 seconds]
5206 14:34 < skaufman> tyler just texted me. power outage in his area
5207 15:14 -!- tyler has joined
5208 15:14 < tyler> I was so bored I decided to break out the generator and work
5210 <@DrHyde> freebsd? bollocks to that, i was thinking of my old Sparc laptop
5211 <@DrHyde> ahhh, Ol' Thighburner, how I miss it
5212 <@DrHyde> the tiny screen! the cramped disk space! the battery liNO CARRIER
5214 < kd> looks like the only subsantive thing I need to do is rename sub new
5215 in Apache2::ShimRequest to sub
5216 work_around_mod_perl_being_a_fucking_pile_of_shit
5218 < TBSliver> .. this codebase is comparable to quantum science at times..
5219 when you think you understand it, you've missed something... :P
5220 < skaufman> some of it is clever, some of it is terrible
5221 < skaufman> some of it is both
5223 < khw> I got this spam today: Amazing Outdoor Sheds Now Anyone Can Start
5224 Building. I wonder if I should forward it to p5p...
5225 < LeoNerd> All you have to do is work out what colour to paint it :)
5226 < rjbs> I think the shed should be astounding, not amazing.
5228 < apeiron> I didn't see anything in the XMLRPC docs
5229 < apeiron> feel free to take a look, but I trawled them and came up sad
5230 < apeiron> kind of like a kid opening an empty present on Christmas morning
5232 < popl> I like the color fire.
5233 < popl> It goes with anything.
5235 <@xan> If people think Icelandic sounds like cats giving the evening
5236 news, Old English sounds like lawn gnomes holding an auction
5237 <@ct> Whan that Apryll tha shoures soute
5238 <@perigrin> and Scots Gaelic sounds like the channel is off band.
5241 < ghenry> I still have DBI_TRACE=9 on :-)
5242 <@mst> haahahahahaha
5243 < ghenry> Can you hear my SSH session and CPU from there?
5245 < b0at> havoc can be heralded
5246 < mst> heralding havoc is just unfair though
5247 < mst> it spoils the surprise
5248 < b0at> ah yes, the old story of the harold who humorously heralded havoc
5250 <%ether> down with vstrings! down with vstrings!
5251 < arc> down with this sort of vstring!
5252 <%BinGOs> careful now.
5254 < timbunce> What's the name of the feature where a stored proc can be declared
5255 to take a row type argument and can then be used in a select
5256 statement as if the stored proc name was a column of the table?
5257 < RhodiumToad> timbunce: "confusing"
5259 < triddle> I don't think there is any irc channel in existance that can
5260 survive a DoS via 55 gallon lube barrel
5262 <@ilmari> guess who just locked himself out of the flat and had to spend
5263 two hours in the hallway in his bathrobe
5264 <@ilmari> thank fuck it's a nice and warm and fluffy bathrombe
5266 <@rjbs> hey, no bug, I just suck!
5267 <@rjbs> all tests suckcessful
5268 <@mst> evidently you didn't write enough tests
5269 <@rjbs> fuck that, if I write any more some will probably fail
5271 < errietta> i have a feeling that sometimes my mum's family are all crazy
5272 < errietta> i put a telnet command on facebook that was on port 666
5273 < errietta> and my aunt called my mum asking what the 666 was and if i'm
5274 a satanist or something
5276 < errietta> http://errietta.me/social_life.jpg
5277 < errietta> pictured: my social life
5278 < errietta> (i need to re-evaluate my life choices.)
5279 < errietta> right after i fix this bug.
5281 < LeoNerd> I stayed in an Isis once. Terrible experience
5282 < LeoNerd> Ibis. Sorry, Ibis. not Isis
5283 < mst> LeoNerd: at least there's always a flogger handy when you need one
5284 < LeoNerd> Yeah, so often I think to myself "Ah, wish I'd brought my full set"
5286 <@cat-xeger> Agile for parents?
5287 <@rjbs> we do waterfall parenting
5288 <@rjbs> it involves a child-sized barrel
5289 <@DrForr> "I thought I'd never get out of that sack."
5291 < kentnl> I guess if you're going to drown a puppy, you may as well do a
5292 bag full at once for efficiencies sake.
5294 < skaufman> stonecolddevin: thanks for endorsing my HTML skills >:(
5295 < skaufman> i can also put pants on
5297 < Kassandry> Yes, where you have the right to fuck bears ^H^H^H^H bear arms.
5298 < TBSliver> "where you have the right to fuck bear arms"?
5299 < mst> bonus goatse points if you can take it up to the elbow
5300 < Kassandry> But then you miss out on the prostate stimulation from the claws.
5302 < dthor> ever completely refactor a bit of code and have no idea how it
5305 < mst> I think arguably I called the end result 'DBIx-Class-0.01.tar.gz'
5307 < triddle> part of my rant fest on debian-cloud was race conditions that
5309 < triddle> fucks given: zero
5310 < Kassandry> pandas made sad: infinite
5312 <@kentnl> you'd think a dist that managed versions would have a concept
5314 < mohawk> i think if one opens the irony door there, the backdraft will
5315 suck you in and vapourise you
5317 < ironm> Hello. can you recommend a book for object oriented perl programming?
5318 < LeoNerd> Just read the docs of your favourite OO system of choice
5319 < LeoNerd> Or write a new one and then read the docs you just wrote :)
5320 < LeoNerd> I recommend against the second option for beginners
5322 <@kentnl> If it's any consolation, my engine is also firing on no
5323 cyclinders to find an appropriate pun.
5324 <@kentnl> See, can't even spell cylindes.
5327 <@perigrin> when I claim to be "taming the python" it just means I'm
5328 fixing the requirements.txt file for pip
5330 * kentnl used that approach until he got annoyed by himself using it.
5331 < kentnl> I think kids these days would call that "science"
5333 < gbjk> Do you have them in two groups?
5334 < gbjk> One set in a control group, one really using python 3.
5335 < gbjk> Do *NOT* forget to feed them.
5336 < gbjk> I always feel so guilty when my test subjects die from starvation.
5338 < ether> I keep my facebook account open so I get notified when people
5339 try to tag me in photos
5340 < ether> and then I can remove the tag
5342 * TimToady is (uniquely!) not allowed to either burn out or skip backlogs
5343 < TimToady> in my case 'unique' and 'distinct' are not mutually exclusive
5344 < mst> TimToady is the ultimate union type
5345 < TimToady> mst: however, I'm not allowed to go on strike
5347 <@rjbs> I saw a cool $1k electric scooter, but not $1k cool.
5348 <@sungo> steal one from walmart and rice it. put a gentoo sticker on it too
5349 <@rjbs> emerge scooter
5350 < alh> cpanm scooter. Found dependencies: Moose. Fuck it I'll walk
5352 < joel> i used to hate wordpress because it sucks itself
5353 < joel> but omg wordpress is a shining light, a paragon of good design
5354 and coding, by comparison with the sea of effluent that is its
5357 <@perigrin> one day I shall not be a total idiot
5358 <@perigrin> today is not that day
5360 < tm604> store as epoch with velocity compensation, just in case anyone's
5361 planning on taking your code on periluminal flights
5362 < thrig> tm604: european or african?
5363 < tm604> thrig: I try not to swallow at all at that speed
5365 < garu> I meant "a view", not a virtual table, whatever the fuck that is
5366 < garu> I think I'm gonna invent it and make it awesome so I can save face
5367 next time I see you :)
5368 < garu> ...or just pretend it never happened and hide under the table
5370 < sobel> ...just imagine living here, your whole life, fully aware that
5371 HFCS replaced sugar and Hershey's doesn't sell any chocolate
5372 < sobel> and that's why daddy drinks
5374 <@BooK> you can't have both a family and PAUSE account
5375 <@BooK> I thought it said so on the online form
5378 * jasonmay clear: both;
5379 * ubu still doesn't line up the way you expect
5381 < Su-Shee> mr nutella died last week, btw.
5382 < Altreus> oh well his legacy lives on
5383 < Su-Shee> on many hips, spread on many bodies and toasts.. ;)
5385 < frew> fwiw I don't love xunit, I just have a parser for it :)
5387 <@ether> remember, programming is like sex - make one mistake, and
5388 someone's supporting it for the rest of their lives
5389 <@ether> programming birth control is harder to come by, it seems
5391 <@sungo> I don't need to get or spread STDs via my doorbell.
5392 <@alh> Yeah; that's what they come inside for.
5393 <@ether> avoid pregnancy by coming outside instead.
5395 < DrForr_> Politics.
5396 < Grinnz_> thanks obama!
5397 < DrForr_> Caesar, actually.
5398 < Grinnz_> eh, caesar was a hack, just some guy who invented salad dressing
5400 <@daveh> “Effects of Parliamentary Elections on Suicide Rates in Hungary,”
5401 <@davorg> Band names get sillier and sillier
5403 * DrHyde has paroxysms of delight
5404 <@mst> if your nipples explode, you're cleaning it up.
5405 <@DrHyde> it would just make a mess in my beard
5407 < errietta> celebrate the release of errietta 2.1, the most stable
5409 < errietta> all the problems and bugs have been completely
5410 eliminSegmentation fault
5412 <@ilmari> jsonb is the thing you can query
5413 <@ilmari> well, the thing you can query with decent performance, thanks
5415 <@ilmari> there were some russians working on vodka indexes, but that stalled
5417 < cfedde> who wants their worst fears confirmed.
5418 < mst> me - once it's confirmed I can go from worrying about whether it exists
5419 to kicking the living fuck out of it until it stops threatening me
5420 < mauke> this is how I think about god
5422 <@trog> I thought systemD was a way to find out how many linux developers
5423 were in a given building. Just utter it once and hear the
5426 < sungo> the one skill I hope I keep for the rest of what will likely be
5427 my short life is the ability to stop a conversation/room with a
5430 <@perigrin> That thing where you have to tell your kids that the cat is dead.
5431 <@mst> ... bah, I really need to get around to getting another cat
5432 <@mst> IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG SINCE I SHARED MY HOME WITH EVIL
5433 <@perigrin> I have one that is now safe to ship to the UK.
5435 < seiren> heating is borked, i want to move.
5436 < errietta> seiren: i have a solution to both your problems,
5437 < errietta> set fire to the house, you will be warm and probably also be
5440 < u6ydu6651> mst: You treat me like an idiot... I don't like that :P I know
5441 that you are a mod here and aspire to be the local king, but
5442 seriously, be more gentle to people, please :P
5443 < nicomen> mst: can I be your local princess btw?
5445 <@ether> you know, I think half the reason I stick around with this
5446 community is it makes me feel like I'm socially normal
5448 * Dorward is currently gold plating cats using JavaScript
5450 < genehack> i hate it when i dream i deployed something
5451 < ribasushi> genehack: did it break in the dream?
5452 < genehack> it never breaks in the dream, that's how you know it's a dream
5454 <@daveh> you can always revert to SOAP
5455 <@theorbtwo> You *could*, if you were some sort of sadist who perfered
5456 their pain to be as boring as possible.
5458 * castaway admires sky, takes pics with backup camera (the one we lost
5459 then replaced then turned out not to have lost as mdk's small child
5460 helpfully tidied it away into the toy box)
5462 * tom_m is currently in the UK, at least for a few weeks
5463 < tom_m> recently arrived, still complaining about the cold
5464 < tom_m> I had to start writing OpenGL again just to raise the room
5465 temperature to something tolerable
5467 <TBSliver> ze rabbit is in.... um... ve zeem to be hazzing a small problemz
5468 <TBSliver> *red drips from bottom of hat*
5470 <@mst> I'm bored of being blamed now
5471 <@sungo> you have a penis. you'd better get used to it.
5472 <@cat-xeger> he could cut it off, and store it under the bed
5473 <@sungo> I've tried that. Somehow they always know
5475 * ether facepalms at $spouse... he just bought a new PC, and installed
5476 Firefox from a malware site rather than mozilla.org.
5477 <@ether> I am ashamed
5478 * ether should send him back to the kitchen and set up his machine for him
5480 < ttkai> redhat kwalitee puts the "HEL" in "RHEL"
5481 < mst> red hate enterforaprize linux
5483 < cfedde> worth every penny
5485 < vmb> 80% chance of bullshit storm with a possibility of crapfest.
5487 "Now I get it: your service is designed for a customer base
5488 that grew up with Facebook, watches Japanese seizure robot
5489 anime, and has the attention span of a gnat. I'm not that user."
5490 -- triddle expresses displeasure with a "corporate IRC replacement"
5492 <@Trelane> using git: it's all yes, cool, FUCK, FUCK NO, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU
5493 DO THAT, fuck I'm a moron, damnit what moron wrote the docs, how
5494 about if I do this? I'M INVINCIBLE. Hooray. What the fuck was I
5495 suposed to be doing again?
5497 < ew73> stonecolddevin: I once got unified login working with pam_ldap
5498 and windows domain and samba. **once**.
5499 < ew73> As in, each user could log in once.
5500 < mauke> ah, the fabled single sign-on
5502 <@ether> fucking aussies
5503 <@mst> sheep shagging bastards
5504 <@mst> like the welsh but with worse beer
5505 <@kentnl> well, without sheep shaggers, where would you get hobbits?
5507 <@ct> why the hell is Bundle::CPAN bringing in something called Spiffy
5508 <@perigrin> ct: because ingy
5509 <@ct> the sad part is
5510 <@ct> I dont remember what module I was originally going to install
5512 -!- mst changed the topic of #chat to: <triddle> so for me the only
5513 option would be a temp regulated bladder on a fake cock
5514 < triddle> well at least its not in the quote database
5516 < Kassandry> I had a moment, just a moment, where I thought the Intel
5517 hiring managers were really into pegging.
5519 < gtodd> mst: Indeed it does have a .packlist
5520 <@mst> gtodd: you just said it didn't :P
5521 < gtodd> mst: it was not where I expected it
5522 <@mst> gtodd: nobody expects the spanish packlist installation
5524 < quanticle> You kids and your apps. In my day, we walked uphill through
5525 memes both ways to /b/ and when we got there, we got yelled
5526 at to lurk moar newfag
5528 < Kassandry> I thought you had your right arm tied to your left leg,
5529 pushed into a pen of angry goats, and told to try and stay
5530 up and make things work, working with ec2.
5531 < triddle> add in a blindfold and being tied to a boat anchor
5533 <@mst> honestly, when I drank lager I drank foster's
5534 <@mst> it was reasonably cheap and always the exact same sort of mediocre
5535 <@perigrin> "We turned on the tap and a weasel popped out ... strangely
5536 the Fosters didn't taste any different."
5538 TBSliver: That works, let's ship it like a motherfucker!
5539 erry: Ship it like FedEx!
5540 idn: TBSliver, lie down on the floor here so I can stamp on you for erry
5542 < Su-Shee> HELLO IS ANYBODY OUT THERE
5543 < mst> THERE ARE AT LEAST FOUR OF US STILL HERE BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG
5544 OUR FOOD WILL HOLD OUT
5545 < Su-Shee> mst: YOU CAN'T EAT MY CAT
5547 < ew73> mst: I heard you live in your mother's basement and eat cheetos all day.
5548 < mst> ew73: does the space I hollowed out under the coffin to hide the
5549 other bodies really count as a basement, though?
5550 < ew73> Only if there's a water heater.
5552 < seiren> I got a failed delivery card from amazon that just said, in big
5553 black marker, "PARCEL"...
5554 < Hazelesque> seiren: maybe you just couldn't read it?
5555 < Hazelesque> I mean, if you don't speak parceltongue?
5557 <@jberger> FormMail.PL still exists?!
5558 * jberger goes back to python
5560 <@perigrin> ubu: hear about the failed ceviche? All stock and no raw.
5561 * ubu hovers over the /kick button
5562 -!- mode/#axkit-dahut [-o ubu] by perigrin
5565 -!- sagittarian [~kvirc@31.210.187.180] has joined #slatestarcodex
5566 < sagittarian> dude, there's a #slatestarcodex channel???
5567 < mst> DUUUUUUUUUUDE
5570 < Dorward> It is 15:40 and I have had one meeting and spent the rest of
5571 my time fixing other people's problems.
5572 < mst> isn't that a normal monday?
5573 < Dorward> Normally more meetings
5575 < tm604> mysql> select threw_away_my_data_ok('works as expected');
5577 < triddle> google seems to have the attention span of a 3 year old not
5578 watching sponge bob square pants
5579 < Kassandry> Absorbent and yellow and porous is he! What? Squirrel!
5581 < triddle> ok amazon you win this round with your incomprehensible sloppy
5582 block device naming between hardware and paravirtualization
5583 < triddle> time to shut this party down and try to do something sane like
5584 not melt a cable after soldering a connector onto it
5586 <Obormot> So apparently you can buy Lego pieces in bulk on eBay
5587 <Regex_> Don't do it. You'll never be able to walk in the dark in safety again
5589 < gtodd> if someone could afford the tuition, could handle the toll on their
5590 self-esteem and the levels of beer consumption, someone could well
5591 attend MSTU ; get an "F-" and finish as an improved JAPH
5593 <@mst> three pumpkings told me Devel::Declare was impossible
5594 <@alh> *a disembodied voice filled with pain and torment can be heard
5595 whispering... "You should have listened...."*
5597 <@mst> things that may raise ribasushi's blood pressure:
5598 writing code, not writing code, speaking, not speaking, breadsticks
5600 <@perigrin> Is that a feature or a bug?
5601 <@sungo> depends on your perspective
5603 <@perigrin> also breadsticks
5605 <@perigrin> it suddenly has decided the god object is undefined and is
5606 throwing Template::Errors
5607 <@perigrin> honestly if the app is going to have a crisis of faith it
5608 needs to fail somewhere that *isn't* TT2 code.
5610 16:19 <@errietta> huh?
5611 16:19 <@errietta> oh
5612 16:19 <@errietta> OOH
5613 16:20 <@errietta> ding ding ding *lightbulB*
5615 < huf> we're fucking elves when it comes to advice.
5616 < Grinnz_> and what's wrong with cross species copulation?
5618 <@ether> I know no new news
5620 <@ether> (and how do you do, I'm a gnu)
5622 < seiren> "The app has been designed in such as way that it can constantly
5623 be upgraded and improved with the latest technology available."
5625 < Dorward> "The app has been described using marketing"
5627 * ether watches some JWs walk by outside.. stop at the sidewalk, look up
5628 at our address, consult a clipboard, and move on
5631 <apeiron> puppet: almost as good a source of billable hours as centos
5633 03:55 <mst> DONG DONG DONG DONG
5634 03:56 < rjbs> https://twitter.com/big_ben_cock
5635 03:56 < rjbs> won't be four dongs for another four minutes
5636 03:57 < mst> rjbs: I've always been premature
5638 <@mako132> I'm sure there's a "gesture" that you're not doing correct.
5639 Have you tried swiping with 3 fingers and your left thumb?
5640 < nperez> maybe you need to rub the phone on your butthole
5641 < nperez> I mean, apple is infallible. You must be holding it wrong
5643 <@mst> OS Bridge struck me as "if I'm not already black balled, I'm pretty
5644 sure I'd manage to get thrown out on the first day"
5645 <@perigrin> mst: *I* felt that way. I think they'd try to exorcise you.
5647 < naptastic> So I asked Go, "How do you handle exceptions?" and Go said,
5648 "I don't have them, because people abuse them."
5649 < naptastic> To which I said, "well, nice knowing you!" and started
5652 < dha> I'm at a starbucks right now. It has wifi, iced tea, and a
5653 bathroom. what more could I need.
5654 < popl> self-respect?
5656 <+triddle> note to self: hitting tab completion does not complete the
5657 word in your head being typed into irc
5659 <@alh> I'll always have fond memories of food poisoning and Uri
5661 < bulk88> when it takes "-fno-stack-protector -fno-omit-frame-pointer
5662 -fno-defer-pop -fno-schedule-insns2 -mno-accumulate-outgoing-args
5663 -mno-stack-arg-probe" to compile a "C" file and not have it SEGV
5664 you know its time take out the C file to behind the shed
5666 < nydwracu> my eye doctor gave me homeopathic eyedrops once, saying that
5667 some people liked them better but it was the same stuff
5668 < nydwracu> and sure enough, it was saline solution with a homeopathic
5669 concentration of marketing chemobabble
5671 < errietta> kaitlyn: need help hiding the body?
5673 < errietta> try asking mst then *nod*
5675 <@sri> sub UNIVERSAL::DESTROY { exit(255) if int rand 2 }
5676 <@mst> sri: that's the AWS version, right?
5678 * sri is a big supporter of clown computing
5680 < theorb> I think mst's suggestion may be the saner one.
5681 < theorb> ...and that is a very scary sentence.
5683 <@hobbs> I don't code in APL either
5684 * ubu is holding out for emojiscript.
5685 <@sungo> emojiscript exists
5686 <@sungo> it's called 'swift'
5688 < errietta> the male end got part of the female end in it
5689 < errietta> i removed it with a sharp thing, but it's slightly bent now
5691 < LeoNerd> I don't even *own* a bargepole. That's how unprepared I am.
5692 < Altreus> LeoNerd: pah! Call yourself english
5693 < LeoNerd> What use would *I* have for a bargepole? That's what I have
5696 <mst> my flight landed early
5697 <mst> unfortunately, it was the first intl. one of the day
5698 <mst> so we got to immigration and there weren't any staff yet
5699 <mst> "sorry, it's too early in the morning, britain is closed"
5701 <@ranguard> The wiki page show's a few people early
5702 <@mst> ranguard: OH SHIT LOOK OUT HERE COMES AN S
5703 <@ranguard> '''''''''
5705 < jmadler> thoughts on: return wantarray ? ($response, $status) : $response;
5706 < mst> FOOTGUN FOOTGUN FOOTGUN FOOTGUN FOOTGUN
5707 < mst> my %thing = (... res => thing() ... ); # CAW CAW BANG FUCK YOU'RE DEAD
5708 * popl feels like a little worm on a big fucking hook.
5710 <@perigrin> so I couldn't find the cider in the grocery last night, and the
5711 beer was all Ice House and Budwiser and stuff I knew I didn't like.
5712 I passed a case of Mike's Hard Lemonade and though "but I don't
5713 want to learn PHP" before I even processed what I was doing.
5715 < sng> gjb, Glen Barber FreeBSD release manager, won the con.
5716 < sng> Steve Bourne told him to fuck off.
5717 < sng> That's winning.
5718 < sng> Nobody is quite sure why. But we all know we were jealous.
5720 < triddle> uh oh, got an alert from amazon monitoring (cloudwatch) that
5721 all 7 of our 6 short link expanders failed last night
5722 < TBSliver> EC2, the walled fencepost error.
5724 < tm604> getopts with template support and URI query parsing? ISAGN
5725 < tm604> "if no options are provided, will join a random IRC channel and
5726 start asking survey questions until /kicked"
5728 <@ether> according to [bug] I'm a random incompetent person
5729 <@ether> dammit, I demand to be a *specific* incompetent person!!!
5730 * ether stomps around.
5732 < thrig> Klaatu Barada Nikto Paamayim Nekudotayim Mod Perl
5734 < boftx> first rule of Unix: don't reinvent the wheel, steal it
5736 < khw> The inevitable has happened, and now people are proposing emoji
5737 for veganism and gluten-free
5738 * mst ponders sending in a proposal for a 'Jumping Shark' emoji
5739 < mauke> COMBINING FONZ ABOVE
5741 15:57 * DrHyde hits mysql with a hammer
5742 16:00 <@DrHyde> damn, it's still there
5743 16:00 <@DrHyde> Jeeves, fetch a larger hammer!
5745 <@pete> ilmari: Sounds like communism
5746 <@pete> ilmari: Or at least, France
5748 < Zr40work> are we webscale yet?
5749 < mst> Zr40work: disable fsync and put your tablespaces on tmpfs
5750 < Zr40work> also use hash indexes, and shard the hypermaster with TDR
5751 unicorn async websocket threading please send help
5753 <@sungo> because what i need in my life is yet another messaging product
5754 * ubu sends sungo a singing telegram
5755 <@mst> you realise he's going to kill and eat that, right?
5756 <@genehack> there goes the diet.
5758 < hobbs> someone called me a horrible person for suggesting that emoji
5759 was a slippery slope that Unicode shouldn't have started down
5760 < LeoNerd> But slippery slopes are such fun
5761 < LeoNerd> Especially if you're wearing PVC shorts
5763 < b0at> so it's just a small effort to get that raptor to eat an onion
5764 while riding a camel.
5765 * pink_mist would fear litigation if he tried that
5766 < b0at> don't _force_ the raptor. just ask nicely.
5768 < haarg> genehack: you filed that PR against your own fork
5769 < genehack> haarg: *headdesk*
5770 <@mst> Dear me, please accept this patch from me. Love, me.
5771 < genehack> i rejected it. that guy's on drugs.
5773 < rjbs> Someone should make a short film of Terminator, set in 2015.
5774 < rjbs> T-800 shows up, gets a Facebook account, finds the right Sarah's
5775 current location, kills her on the first go.
5777 < Kassandry> It's always harder to do ethical, fair trade organ harvesting.
5779 < mst> SHARD THE HYPERMASTER! CLOUD! CLOUD! CLOUD! CLOUD!
5780 < idn> ribasushi: mst is playing your song
5781 < ribasushi> idn: "Rape me" by nirvana?
5783 <@DrHyde> i have decided to retire to a smallholding in the Hebrides,
5784 effective immediately, where the hardest problem will be
5785 deciding which of my many beauteous sheep to fuck this evening
5786 <@DrHyde> sheep are easier to debug and configure than enterpriseware
5788 < popl> we just need to throw our finest engineers at the problem!
5789 * popl develops an engineer cannon.
5791 -!- Topic for #moose: Did you forget coerce => 1? | Paste at
5792 http://paste.scsys.co.uk/moose | Moose 2.1405 & 2.1500-TRIAL
5793 17:51 -!- icjs [~nusquam.e@195.171.206.230] has joined #moose
5794 17:54 < icjs> "Did you forget coerce => 1" - heh, that fixed it
5796 < miyagawa> welcome to CPAN, a world wide bug corpus repository
5798 <@sungo> BURN IT ALL DOWN AND SNORT THE ASHES
5800 < mst> 99% of bugs boil down to "oh shit, I'm an idiot" in the end, no
5801 matter how much experience you have :D
5802 < alh> Some of us are doubly unfortunate though, IE, we use a lot of mst
5803 ware, and so we're subject to his bugs as well
5805 <@vmbrasseur> It's pretty rare my social circle gets to see me put on my
5807 <@mst> * vmbrasseur puts on her robe and wizard hat
5808 <@vmbrasseur> Well actually: it's a hooded cloak. Much more menacing.
5810 < Mithaldu> which of course works perfectly fine if you have only one user
5812 < genehack> a friend's dog got super sick because he ate some poop on a trail
5813 < genehack> turned out to be human poop
5814 < genehack> from somebody that was apparently stoned to the gills
5815 < genehack> dog got a THC overdose
5817 < popl> thrig: Some time in the future there will be a society that
5818 communicates solely by exchanging Monty Python clips.
5819 < thrig> game called on account of wafer thin mint
5821 < mauke> "Whenever I lead my users to water they hang themselves with it.
5822 I really don't know how."
5823 < Kassandry> mauke: That's more creative than a lot of my users. They mostly
5824 stick their head in the water and take a deep refreshing breath.
5826 <@hobbs> apparently the only way to get an instrumenting profiler is
5827 basically source filters
5828 <@sungo> go is such a great language.
5829 <@sungo> oh wait. the other thing
5831 <sevvie> I really hope someone writes a biography about me, and it's a
5832 bestseller one day. "What Not To Do: A Clear and Concise Example"
5834 < mst> footgun isn't even close, at this stage the gun is loaded and
5835 pointed squarely at your genitals
5836 < mauke> the gun is cocked
5837 < mst> ... I hate you
5839 < alh> Luckily I had a d4 near by to 'estimate' my story points
5841 < Dorward> BEHOLD MY FIELD OF NAKED YAKS!
5842 < Dorward> I had to shave them so they would be skinny enough to fit down
5845 <quicksilver> I am, technically, Technical Director of some company
5846 <quicksilver> but I can't work out which
5848 < ether> argh fucking php programmers
5849 <@alh> Never a good idea ether
5850 <@mst> alh: first she'd need a lolita outfit
5851 <@alh> She can borrow something of mine then
5853 <@leont> They once tried to "firewall almost everything, then see who
5854 complains". Turns out the access system to the university buildings
5855 was now also firewalled. A number of windows were sacrificed by
5856 scientists that really needed to get to their experiment.
5858 <@rjbs> I have a soft spot in my heart for Compaq. Or was that my skull?
5860 < ttkai> "inside-out objects" makes me think of Twisted
5861 < mst> LA LA LA LA CAN'T HEAR YOU NOT REMEMBERING USING THAT
5862 < tm604> 10 points from hufflepuff for mentioning Twisted
5864 < yesbot> Otherwise, construct-arglist creates code that initializes argl
5865 with the last argument is handled differently. There is no God.
5867 < ether> but that was also the job where my met my spouse
5869 < preaction> i met i spouse? ;)
5870 < preaction> error: lacks /g flag. my interpreter is buggy. need caffeine.
5872 < fibbance> One advantage of Dvorak is that q & w are far apart
5873 < sh> It's pretty impressive when a keybinding is so bad that you make it
5874 better by just randomly having that key somewhere the people who
5875 made it didn't expect.
5877 -!- Flexor [~mrw@nerdhole.plus.com] has joined #afp
5878 -!- cat is now known as cat_afk
5879 < Flexor> I have that effect on women.
5881 * sue mumbles at janky virgin cable modem
5882 <@Zefram> ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
5884 < errietta> 99 fucking bugs in the code, 99 fucking bugs
5885 < errietta> take one down, patch it around
5886 < errietta> Segmentation fault (Core dumped)
5888 <sevvie> What's a third-wave feminist's favourite colour?
5889 <sevvie> Internalized Mahogany
5891 <scrottie> "Configuring Windows updates: 1% complete - Do not turn off
5893 <scrottie> You've got 12% battery left. One of us didn't think this through.
5895 < popl> I wonder how many raytracers exist as a result of boredom.
5897 < kd> it will give me great pleasure to stab cgi.pm to death shortly
5898 after the prolonged murder of mod_perl is done
5900 <GeekNerd> Pricey: is this ever likely to change?
5901 <RUBICN64> GeekNerd, when pigs sprout wings and fly AKA never
5902 <mst> "when pigs fly" is outdated; most police forces have helicopters already
5903 <TDSoul> "bacon one to bacon two, over"
5905 <@jkg> "yesterday I assembled a team of orcs, and today we will burn it
5906 to the ground. no impediments"
5907 <@tomboh> ah, that's what a burn down chart is for
5909 < Grinnz> always single quote your bash strings, and when that fails,
5910 stick your tongue in a blender
5912 18:47 < AshBerlin> "The 18.36 will now depart at 18.43" Really Southern Rail?
5914 < Acte> Last time we hung out, several people fell in a river and there
5915 was a swordfight over a Nutella jar
5917 < phaylon> honestly, being in IT and having the ability to learn new
5918 stuff makes me not worry too much
5919 < phaylon> someone's always gonna hate a computer enough to give me money
5922 < Zoffix> Ah, two pounds of giant shrimp. The second best thing to alcohol.
5924 <@gwern> fucking blogs. I spend all afternoon writing up a rebuttal with
5925 code and full explanations, and 'Your HTML cannot be accepted:
5926 Must be at most 4,096 characters'
5927 <@gwern> fine, I'll submit it as *two* comments -_-
5929 <@sue> it's all fun and games until the lid unscrews itself in your
5930 jacket pocket and you accidentally kill yourself and the people
5931 sitting near you on the bus
5933 <@perigrin> this is not my beautiful shell
5934 <@perigrin> and you're not my beautiful editor
5935 <@genehack> modes flowing underground
5936 <@genehack> same as it ever was
5938 < Kassandry> I am really a teenage girl at heart. An overly cheerful,
5939 sometimes fatalistic, drinking, gun toting redneck teenage
5942 < Su-Shee> *sigh* ... why am I even cleaning my appartment...
5943 < Su-Shee> cleaned flat. cat vomits. cleaned vomit, showered. cat hairs
5944 all over my favorite shirt. I vacuum. cat uses litter box 5
5945 minutes after. I vacuum AGAIN.. what did I hear just now..?
5947 <errietta> i don't want to have to worry about this crap
5948 <errietta> i have other stuff to worry about
5950 < Kassandry> It's hard to find out what exactly is shitting the bed when
5951 everything's leaving skidmarks in the logs and looks like a
5952 potential candidate.
5954 A newspaper was sort of like an internet website. It was made of something
5955 called paper and delivered by actual people to your door. People used their
5956 hands to scroll through it. Push notifications and updates took ~24 hours
5957 to reach newspapers. Not much else is known about these ancient artifacts.
5959 <@hobbs> It weirds me out when I run into young grumpy sysadmins
5960 <@perigrin> I worked with apeiron ...
5961 <@mst> I was a sysadmin when I was 18
5962 <@ubu> i'm sure you were sweet and accommodating, just like now.
5964 < thowe> I find not using PHP is its own reward.
5967 -!- st0461 is now known as st0462
5969 <Kassandry> Living on a farm means that sometimes you have to whack off a horse
5971 <Kassandry> Don't you dare quotefile that
5972 <Kassandry> It's not bestiality when you're helping the vet
5974 < quicksilver> if they float, they're witches
5975 < quicksilver> or is it ducks?
5976 < quicksilver> I always get confused.
5977 < quicksilver> burn them anyway, it's safer
5979 <@mst> my ORM Wars talk equated Jar Jar to Ima::DBI ;)
5981 <@mst> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
5982 <@rjbs> Meesa propose to be gives emergency powers to UNIVERSAL::isa!
5984 * Dorward looks at some code from last year and punches himself
5985 < Dorward> Dorward++ # Tests. Lots of lovely tests.
5986 < Dorward> Dorward-- # No documentation that explains how to actually RUN
5989 <@kd> I really don't like the way the critic api rules work, it's optimised
5990 for a very prescriptive way of writing perl, while ppix::refactor is
5991 geared towards "here's a gun, here's your foot, here's a system to help
5992 you aim such that your chances of missing are reasonable"
5994 <+triddle> dude the last time I tried to start the puppet server it
5995 vomited on the floor
5996 <+triddle> then passed out drunk again
5998 < triddle> and only 2.5 hours away from the rental tommy gun
5999 < Kassandry> That's very close to where I live.
6000 < Kassandry> It's right next to the porn store and the billboard about
6001 how God can set you free from your porn addiction.
6003 <@hobbs> something is wrong with Hollywood, I just saw the third movie I
6004 respected in like two months.
6006 < Su-Shee> 20:26 < tm604> or the d3 geo stuff, although that'd be more
6007 suited to a one-off task.
6008 < Su-Shee> sorry. cat. he has learned copy paste.
6010 <@alh> I still don't have the who vs whom rules down
6011 <@sungo> there is only one rule. people who use 'whilst' are assholes
6012 <@mst> sungo: whilst is a fucking awesome word.
6013 <@sungo> like I said, assholes
6015 < aristotle> JS == is a sort of low-key smartmatch baked into the
6017 <@mst> right, real men write ===== or whatever it is
6018 < aristotle> mst: I think it was 8=========D
6020 < guest666> The amount of money a philosophy degree will get you depends
6021 on how good at welding you are.
6023 < Popehat> [a1] If I could get Saudi Arabia for saying their "justice
6024 system" compared unfavorably to ISIS, I would be so happy.
6025 < Popehat> [a2] Sorry that tweet left out "get Saudi Arabia to sue me."
6026 My tweet got decapitated, possibly by Saudis.
6028 < JBeshir> "Vibration patterns optimised by artificial intelligence"
6029 < mst> the next generation of teledildonics
6030 < JBeshir> "Full comprehension of your preferences"
6031 < Philonous> That turned weird quickly...
6033 < random> GAH NOSE COLD CAT!
6035 * Dorward fails to find his Raspberry Pi 2
6036 < Dorward> What a world we live in in which it is so easy to lose an
6038 * Dorward sets up his Pi 1 to see if it is powerful enough for the job
6040 < pol> I do have a huge intolerance for pointless delay though.
6041 < pol> Which may lead to some interesting discussions between myself and
6042 project managers who want me to work down to their speed.
6043 < pol> "GET OUT OF MY WAY - IMPLEMENTATION COMING THROUGH"
6045 < mst> huf: bottle o' dog -> newcastle brown
6047 < Altreus> is there a dog on newky brown?
6048 < Altreus> I only remember a star, and also hangovers
6050 < quicksilver> when I was 18 I worked with a guy who used IRC in the office
6051 < quicksilver> I was deeply suspicious. I thought it was dirty.
6052 < perigrin> quicksilver: you were right.
6054 < LeoNerd> *God* disconnected? My my...
6055 < Grinnz_> * God has quit (Connection reset by peer)
6056 < thrig> jealous hera, again?
6057 < LeoNerd> Grinnz_: Surely "(Excess flood)" ?
6059 < Kassandry> Take them outside first, though.
6060 < Kassandry> You don't want to get burning dev in the fans. It reduces
6061 the lifetime of the components.
6062 < Kassandry> And creates a greasy film that's hard to clean
6064 * LeoNerd wonders if a curried method reference on an undefined object
6065 should be called a naan value
6067 <@BinGOs> I Heath Robinson dual-boot by swapping sata cables.
6069 < Altreus> I've determined that this date formatting style - 'Y/m/d
6070 H:i:s' - is called "I wanted to be compatible with PHP instead
6073 < rjbs> yesterday Gloria called to ask if she left the stove on
6074 < rjbs> I thought, "if my stove was on the internet, she could check from
6076 < rjbs> and then I imagined someone blowing up my house with a root kit
6078 < quicksilver> errietta will FIX ALL THE THINGS
6079 < quicksilver> only (and this important)
6080 < quicksilver> do not give her the things which are not broken
6081 < quicksilver> for she will 'fix' those too
6083 < mst> wait, you're under Plack but using CGI.pm
6084 < mst> I ... I ... I ... I ...
6085 < blue_sky> you've crashed mst
6086 < blue_sky> someone reboot mst
6088 <@saturn2> my prediction is your fridge will have an AI dedicated to
6089 showing you personalized ads, but it still won't sync with
6090 your calendar correctly
6092 -!- jeffg [~jeffg@pdpc/supporter/professional/jeffg] has joined #fosdem
6093 < jeffg> can somebody clue me in to the location of the "reconfirm attendance"
6094 control on my accepted talk? last year trouble ticked it for me, but
6095 i'm determined to find it myself this time :)
6098 <@mst> fucking keyboards, how do they work
6099 < genehack> you hit them
6100 < genehack> with your face
6102 < mst> I really quite like Tcl. vimscript OTOH ... "at least it's not m4"
6103 < thrig> or we could do arrays in bash
6104 < huf> i pretend those arent real
6105 < huf> i've been known to sleep some nights, so i think i'm on to something
6107 <@mst> actually, I think my first thing to try would be to strace the code
6108 <@mst> and try and match up the new value of $! with a failed syscall
6109 <@mst> but I mean if strace was a person I'd totally be asking them out
6110 to dinner so maybe I'm biased
6112 <@sungo> I would just like to point out that Greece featuers "Drama Airport"
6113 <@sungo> I think I'll add it to my list of airports to avoid
6115 < mst> I've installed spacemacs to play with org-mode
6116 < Grinnz_> spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacemacs
6117 < Altreus> spac-emacs
6118 < mst> I hate you all
6120 < sawyer> route_parameters is a typo :(
6121 < sawyer> errr.. request_parameters
6122 < sawyer> i typo'ed the typo :/
6123 < sawyer> "i don't always fuck up, but when i fuck up, i fuck that up too"
6125 < mst> Do Not Call Up That Which That Which You Can Call Up Cannot Put Down
6126 < Grinnz_> ...parsing error
6127 < Grinnz_> Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo
6129 <@gwern> that reminds me of the time my dog caught on fire
6131 < Su-Shee> julian assange was a postgres contributor?!
6132 < thrig> someone else had to patch the leaks afterwards
6134 < FAMAS> mst: what were the reasons behind your de-staffment?
6135 < mst> freenode has a policy of being nice to idiots. I wasn't very good at it.
6136 <+christel> mst: LOL
6139 <@ilmari> "If you are not a current or former head of state, don’t ask us
6140 for a deleted username."
6142 <@Nicholas> quick, invade Sealand
6144 < AcidRain> perlbot: i love you
6145 < perlbot> AcidRain: leave me alone
6146 < AcidRain> well! i didnt know it was like that.
6147 * AcidRain puts head down in shame
6149 <@pete> I am wondering what people's preferred consiumption format is
6150 <@pete> Slides? Prose? Audio?
6151 <@osfameron> it depends?
6152 <@LeoNerd> Is it available as a suppository?
6154 < Skarsnik> it's libmysqlclient
6155 < Skarsnik> that has nothing to do with mysql-client actually
6156 < abraxxa> a client that doesn't require its client library, yeah,
6157 looks like mysql ...
6159 < quicksilver> you opened their minds too far
6160 < quicksilver> now it's all going to fall out on the floor
6161 < quicksilver> I hope you have a liquids-capable vacuum cleaner
6163 < Dorward> Oh Dear Creator! Spammers have discovered animated emoji
6164 < quicksilver> it's not such a bad thing, Dorward
6165 < quicksilver> it helps you spot the spam quickly
6166 < Dorward> quicksilver: But then I have to clean the vomit off my keyboard
6168 * mst passes the vodka ... oh, good, it isn't completely empty
6169 <@ether> bottomless vodka would be a marvellous invention
6170 <@ether> can we refill bottles via induction?
6171 <@sungo> here in the US, we call them "bartenders"
6173 < autogen> do you guys overcomplicate things on purpose?
6174 < autogen> or is it just autism?
6175 < Logos01> autogen: ... both.
6176 < Obormot\Solaria> Yeah, def. "both"
6178 * perigrin watches trog learn enough to stuff the ballet box with 'perigrin'
6179 <@perigrin> ballot too
6180 <@ubu> you in a ballet box is *so* much more interesting, though...
6181 <@trog> The tutu around the box really lends itself to voter fraud.
6183 * BinGOs really can't be bothered reading the scrollback.
6184 < mauke> I wrote* a generic Makefile.PL
6185 < mauke> * overengineered
6187 < cxreg> we just realized that thanks to perl, "man splain" is a valid command
6190 <@chargrill> you should totally fire that guy
6191 <@chargrill> into the sun
6193 * ology questions his life decisions and considers a career in gas
6194 pumping or fry serving
6195 <perigrin> disease vector has been a popular dream of mine for my next career.
6196 <perigrin> I'd feel like I was giving back somethign to scociety.
6198 < bfwg> the downside of laying things out consistently between machines,
6199 is you don't notice you're on the wrong machine at first
6201 < huf> software that should be equally usable for programmers and
6202 managers? you're seriously asking why that would be a mess?
6203 < thrig> it's written in common lisp and sharepoint
6205 16:48 <+triddle> is there a good time today to talk migration?
6206 17:02 <+triddle> oh wtf how did it wind up being saturday
6207 17:03 <+triddle> never mind, ignore me
6208 17:03 <+triddle> at least I didn't commute to the office
6210 * GumbyNET7 CPAN Upload: Dist-Zilla-Plugin-Readme-Brief-0.003000 by KENTNL
6211 < mst> kentnl: reading in your briefs again? :D
6212 < kentnl> mst: yeah. Its kinda like reading tea leaves, except instead of
6213 seeing the future, you see what you had for dinner yesterday.
6215 < Su-Shee> <postmodernism>gender is an illusion</postmodernism>
6216 < mst> as ever, postmodernism has its own agender
6217 < mauke> I'm a little low on genderfluid
6218 * Su-Shee passes a bottle of androgyn.
6220 < Obormot\Solaria> I got my wallet as a gift
6221 < Obormot\Solaria> I've been repairing it for nearly 20 years
6222 < Obormot\Solaria> It's more duct tape now than leather
6223 < Obormot\Solaria> Its mind is twisted and evil
6225 < Su-Shee> I was freely associating "stallion" into "dick" of course
6227 <@mauke> hold my beer
6228 <@mauke> perl -e 'use Class::Std (); use AnyEvent (); AnyEvent->condvar'
6229 <@mauke> Goto undefined subroutine &main:: at AnyEvent.pm line 1522.
6231 < mauke> hold my beer, I'm going to downgrade ExtUtils::MakeMaker by copying
6232 files from the 5.6.1 tarball
6233 * mst chugs the beer and refuses to watch this
6234 < genehack> that's more than a 1 beer job there.
6236 < errietta> i can't say i entirely blame them. I wrote a video
6237 conferencing app based on webRTC in year 2.
6238 < errietta> the results of that research were that the app flipped a coin
6239 to decide whether to work or not
6241 < triddle> boss> hey sorry I'm tied up still, will get back to you ASAP
6242 < triddle> me> no worries, I'm wrangling the devs, so unless they come
6243 crying to you there isn't a problem, i'm moving forward
6244 < triddle> boss> if the devs are crying ops is doing their job
6246 * ilbelkyr offers staffpony a carrot?
6247 * ilbelkyr not familiar with pony eating habits
6248 * mniip feeds staffpony a hayburger
6249 <+staffpony> carrots work, I thi ... HAYBURGER
6251 < nox> Self-hosted code is when you implement DOM in JS, btw.
6252 < nox> So the JIT can just go YOLO and compile through the code that is
6253 supposed to be native and opaque.
6255 < furrywolf> I'm glad my blinds don't run systemd... they'd be bolted to
6256 my washing machine and air conditioner, and I couldn't open
6257 them because opening them isn't something any normal user
6260 < ew73> I just wrote: my @list = new HashMap<String, ()>;
6261 < ew73> I think I might need a break.
6263 <mst> generally new toolchainers always think the old guard are grumpy
6264 paranoids up until they're part of an incident that temporarily
6265 breaks 10%+ of CPAN and then suddenly the next generation see
6266 -them- as the paranoids ;)
6268 < mst> s||| strikes me as a "fuck me gently with a chainsaw" moment
6270 < rewt> s### if you can't decide if it should be a comment or not ;)
6273 < huf> oh come on... bad error messages are like vomit on the pavement
6274 on a saturday morning
6275 < huf> it's a basic part of civilization
6277 < norrahc> And then god said, "What's on the other channels?"
6279 < perigrin> "you can't fuck this up" is more a challenege for EC2 than a
6282 <@ether> cat caught the mouse \o/
6283 <@ether> cat didn't kill the mouse, kept playing with the mouse, let the
6285 <@ether> We Had Words.
6287 <@cat-xeger> Well... the kitten is certainly goal oriented...
6288 <@cat-xeger> (we've just been having a discussion about not leaping
6289 without a landing, and not using me as a ladder)
6291 < Grinnz> Text::Xslate is nice and simple
6292 < Grinnz> as is Text::Template
6293 < Grinnz> Template Toolkit for when you need the kitchen sink
6294 < kitchen> please check before using my sink
6296 < jeek> Also I now have a rootkit.
6297 < jeek> and my dog just died.
6298 < mst> damnit, my post was supposed to give you cancer. my aim must be off.
6299 < jeek> I haven't been tested yet.
6301 <@saturn2> mst: is being given a heron overdose a utopia?
6302 < mst> heron overdose, for when fisting just isn't enough anymore
6303 <@gwern> mst: heron overdose, for when bluefooted boobies and tits just
6304 aren't exciting anymore
6306 < TBSliver> FUCKING APP DEV RETARDS AT DOMINOS
6307 < TBSliver> changing address clears the basket. INCLUDING ON THE FUCKING
6309 < TBSliver> ARSE CUNTING BASTARD SHITMONGERS
6311 < apeiron> If I was going to run Wordpress I'd treat it like the oher PHP
6312 I run and put it in a jail
6313 < sungo> in a jail. on a raspberry pi. in a faraday cage. in concrete. on
6314 the bottom of the ocean
6316 < huf> i heard some very english guys on the tram. they were fucked up on coke.
6317 < huf> so they didnt have many consonants
6319 < digidog> ls who the fuck is ls .... *cries*
6321 < Jamo> I'm not sure if the subquery works
6322 < koyae> Can't you just test it then BE sure?
6323 < mst> but that would make sense
6324 < koyae> You're right. That's a definite problem for that approach.
6326 < masochist> if #freenode is anything like it was last time I was there,
6327 probably not a bad place to hide the bodies
6328 < masochist> lots of bridges to stick them under
6330 < sawyer> only 38 more commits to review
6331 * p5commits Karl Williamson pushed to blead (v5.23.7-391-g856d91b): Karl
6332 Williamson: t/re/reg_mesg.t: Add a couple of tests
6335 <@mst> the lead dev did not believe in tests
6336 <@ether> sounds like every node developer I've met
6337 <@ether> "f--- it, we'll test it live!"
6338 <@ether> "why is ether crying?"
6340 < LeoNerd> I once tried Biscuits in Gravy in the US. I was not amused
6341 < LeoNerd> 1) They are not biscuits. 2) That was not gravy.
6343 < leont> It becomes hilarious to point out to people that heredocs and
6344 backticks can be combined, and do exactly what you fear they'd do :-p
6345 < Exodist> leont, wait... oh damn.
6346 < leont> I shouldn't tell this to people when I can't see their faces! :-o
6348 -!- Kassandry [~lacey@162.247.40.130] has joined #chat
6349 * mst ropes kassandry to her chair
6350 * masochist gets out the flogger
6351 < masochist> yes yes irony shut up
6353 < sungo> side note: fuck linux
6354 < Kassandry> Can you show me on the penguin where the bad OS touched you?
6355 < sungo> no because my log files are binary
6356 < Kassandry> Right. Fuck Linux. As you were
6358 06:35 * apn vaguely contemplating dropping 8.5 support in twapi
6359 06:35 < pooryorick> Do it!
6360 06:36 <apn> ok, voting period is over. Majority says drop 8.5 support
6362 < rmah> it's funny how euros think that "all over europe" means international
6363 < mauke> rmah: "world series"
6364 < rmah> mauke: we are the world
6365 < rmah> we even have a song that says so
6367 < FatalNIX> I got Acme::6502 connected to IRC, just gotta debug some assembly
6368 < mst> FatalNIX: ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
6369 < mst> I only have two hands, so I can't facepalm and applaud at the same time
6370 < FatalNIX> I was waiting for mst's reaction :D
6372 < jflav> I tend to write regex for colons as \Q:\E for clarity
6373 < huf> my $colon_but_seriously_a_simple_COLON = ';'; and then use that
6374 < tweakism> just use a string called "colon but true"
6375 < Su-Shee> $colon_but_maintained
6377 < huf> military planes have the annoying habit of partially crashing
6378 < huf> some bits fall off and destroy cities
6379 < Grinnz_> um. how many cities
6380 < huf> like, i dont know, coventry and dresden
6382 < ilmari> this kind of stuff always reminds me of how norway avoided the
6384 < ilmari> someone at the uni of oslo, where the satellite link came down,
6385 heard of it and went and unplugged the internet
6387 < LeoNerd> This might be my stupid fault of my $Inf = 0 + "Inf";
6388 < LeoNerd> Can you make that 0 + 1E100 ?
6389 < LeoNerd> Oh but now /my/ one fails on 5.22
6390 < LeoNerd> stupid infinity
6392 * GumbyPAN CPAN Upload: Scalar-List-Utils-1.43_004 by PEVANS
6393 https://metacpan.org/release/PEVANS/Scalar-List-Utils-1.43_004
6394 < LeoNerd> Fourth time's the charm...
6395 < thrig> Forth time's the stack
6397 < huf> gah. the word "burnt" is now echoing in my head in a scottish
6399 < huf> i'm going home
6401 < Su-Shee> surprisingly, /mst msg does not work.
6403 < huf> so far i've categorized the beers i've had as: piss, sweet brown
6404 shit, weird belgian shit that smells and tastes like an alcoholic,
6406 < mst> huf: how many alcoholics did you lick in order to form this theory?
6408 < Jens> I wonder if watching two seasons of Buffy in a week can
6409 permanently damagify your talkingness.
6411 <@ether> I'm going to call and yell at them, and get the text charges refunded
6412 <@ether> if they give me a line about how all this is too complicated for
6413 me to understand fuck you, I wrote billing engines for mobile
6414 systems for five years
6416 < triddle> there's only 1 small problem with using a top of the line
6417 powermac g5 as a heater, it wastes something like 10% of the
6418 energy on computation
6420 < triddle> I think these things are destined to become cpan test
6421 machines, or at least all the ones I think won't catch on fire
6423 < gitgud_> officially discouraged -> officially a lie
6424 < preaction> the use of threads is a lie?
6425 < mauke> it's a piece of cake
6426 -!- gitgud_ [~shadowpas@66-50-169-197.prtc.net] has quit [K-Lined]
6428 < mst> I can't look!
6429 < mst> TURN IT BACK INTO A SPREADHSEET
6430 < Kassandry> mst is crying and he won't come out of the breakroom if
6431 that's what you call success
6433 < Obormot> Another innocent kitchen appliance, destroyed by a Russian
6435 < Obormot> They should make these things with replaceable fuses or
6438 < sungo> OH FOR FUCKS SAKE
6439 < sungo> THE WIKI IS WRITTEN FOR AN AS-YET-UNRELEASED VERSION
6440 < Kassandry> *golfclaps*
6441 < sungo> require 'dumpsterfire'
6443 Cable company employees treat their jobs like working at the nsa. Don't tell
6444 anyone because everyone will irrationally blame/hate you for the ills of a
6445 faceless entity only tangentially related to you as an individual.
6448 < Kassandry> MOTHERGOATFUCKING ASSCHOKING INBRED CUMSNEEZING FUCKING NODE
6449 DEVELOPERS OMG YOU LAZY ASS FUCKERS DIDN
6450 < Kassandry> asdfasdfasdf
6453 < snowbound> johto, movedx: how do you guys correct typing mistakes on
6454 long queries? Is there like a bash vi mode or such?
6455 < movedx> I force children to do my typing for me, so mistakes are
6456 corrected with a stick of bamboo filled with concrete.
6458 < huf> why are you all allowed to go outside without a minder?
6459 < huf> ... why am *i*?
6461 < huf> yes but why is sql so fucking weird.
6462 < huf> in general. what the hell is wrong with its face
6463 < anno> it's an attempt to express relational algebra in cobol
6465 < mcmillhj> ah the classic mistake &2>1 versus 2&>1; just consumed all of
6466 the memory on my machine by accident
6467 < Grinnz_> isn't it 2>&1?
6468 < mcmillhj> ... damnit
6470 * ether starts to notice that the main drive is almost full; thinks
6471 about restarting firefox soon to free up some caches. firefox just
6472 crashed, so now I don't have to bother \o/
6474 < huf> why do blokes at the pub feel like they need to tell me they hate jews?
6475 < preaction> it's not every day someone walks up and tells you how much
6476 they need to get punched
6477 < huf> i'd have to punch like 9 million people if i started...
6479 < TBSliver> Test from android client
6480 < TBSliver|old> TBSliver: ping
6481 * perigrin watches TBSliver do the IRC version of checking his fly in public
6482 < TBSliver|old> perigrin: if you wanna watch, thats up to you heh
6484 < simcop2387> most of this started because i realized perlbrew has the
6485 --as option when installing :)
6486 < pink_mist> perlbrew install perl-5.22.1 --as python
6488 * Dom has a visitor from .no who is now an afper o_O
6490 < Mort> Dom: She went from being an afper to not in that short a
6491 timespan? What did you do?
6493 * mst 's nipples explode with delight
6494 * perigrin shovels more eels into mst's hovercraft.
6495 <@genehack> pro-tip if you freeze the eels they shovel easier
6496 <@perigrin> sure tell that to me *now*
6498 < teatime> BagHash sounds like something teenage hobbits would smoke.
6500 <@arcanez> I kinda miss going to YAPCs
6501 <@hobbs> come to sunny florida
6502 <@arcanez> I live in ... sunny Arizona
6503 <@hobbs> come to wet florida
6506 < Exodist> oh, wait.
6507 < Exodist> I typed that wrong
6508 < Exodist> when I don't type it wrong it works.
6510 < derp_commander> I've never liked twisted, I think it's too bloated, not
6511 sufficiently modular, and not very UNIX-y
6512 < derp_commander> it's like the systemd of python
6514 <@toddr> Didn't see BvS. 6 yr old.
6515 <@toddr> Probably not going to let him see Suicide Squad either ;)
6516 <@perigrin> I don't see why not, he made it through Deadpool didn't he?
6517 <@toddr> Just the pegging scenes
6519 < Grinnz_> you and your toolchain modules :P
6520 <%ether> every one has a purpose!
6521 < rjbs> I FOUND MY SPECIAL PURPOSE
6522 < mst> people have such weird names for their genitals
6524 < genehack> i am in closer proximity to strange genitals than i am
6526 < genehack> i think i need an adult
6528 < neilb> * * * let’s have a stand-up at 18:30 (uk time!) * * *
6529 < BooK> neilb: I thought your line a crontab entry
6531 * neilb makes a note never to let BooK edit his crontab
6533 < mst> mithaldu got confused by my using parsimonious :D
6534 < genehack> parsimonious always seemed like it should be shorter, given
6535 the concept it conveys
6536 < ether> that has verisimillitude
6538 < MadcapJake> lol sorry! not much younger than you but I thought that
6539 plaintext email was completely gone from our world :P
6540 < skids> Go try posting HTML on lkml and see how much of your clothing is
6541 not melted to your flesh afterwards.
6543 < genehack> the last time i was in Chicago I was made to drink Malort
6544 < genehack> i'm not going back to Chicago any time soon
6545 < jberger> genehack: that's just a gag we play on newcomers
6546 < jberger> no one actually drinks that crap
6548 < mst> xenu: http://trout.me.uk/ocd.png
6549 < xenu> mst: i don't think gore belongs on perl channel
6550 < mauke> don't make me /nick mauke[0} again
6551 * mst is now know as {mst
6553 < huf> i wish i was a little bit taller, i wish i was a ballmer...
6555 < xenu> one of issues i've caught in this app: if we will move to newer
6556 perl, the one with non-deterministic hashes (5.18+ i think?) our
6557 db will get corrupted
6560 < genio> automated emails from Grinnz :)
6561 < Grinnz> automated found-5-authors-whose-cpan-address-doesn't-work so far
6564 < satori> I shouted "Godwin's Law" in the office this week, and got
6565 strange looks from all round when I read BBC news that Ken
6566 Livingston said Hitler was a Zionist. I don't think I was
6567 supposed to be reading BBC news at the time.
6569 < Grinnz_> Today in MySQL doing cancerous things, apparently temporary tables
6570 are replicated by default in two of the three replication modes
6571 < xenu> yeah, you have to prefix temp tables with something like "penis_"
6572 and blacklist "penis_*" somewhere
6574 < xenu> rational fortran is a fortran preprocessor which makes fortran c-like
6575 < xenu> and is exactly what would one expect of semi-parsing 90s stuff
6577 < xenu> oh, and that perl code is preprocessed by m4
6579 <@ct> in theory they could end up nominating someone who didn't even run
6580 <@ct> Paul Ryan, The reanimated corpse of Ronald Reagan, "This stick with a
6582 <@ct> though to be fair you'd have to prove the stick was american and over 35
6584 < XORXOROR> That reminds me I need to whip someone's butt gently to make
6586 < mst> your sysadmin is a submissive?
6587 < XORXOROR> Yes, he likes licking boots.
6589 * triddle updates ImageMagick's facebook security status to it's complicated
6590 < masochist> I think if I took a look I'd explode like a volcano of rage
6591 < sungo> is there a facebook status for "my ass is primed for fucking" ?
6593 < triddle> welp its official, the logic for ImageMagick is optimized to
6594 invoke system() when the user supplies possibly evil shell code
6595 < triddle> if (!evil) { handle_as_if_evil() }
6596 else { handle_as_not_evil() } //winning
6598 < tommy> I think everybody's read the news that the vast majority of
6599 dockerhub official images have serious unpatched vulnerabilities
6600 and some actually contain viruses...to which the world IT
6601 reacted: neat! MOAR CLOUDZ
6603 < timotimo> i was going to say "i don't want someone who acts like that
6604 in my perl6 community", but i think insulting mst is a sport
6605 with proud heritage in the greater perl community, so i'll
6608 <@ether> if my interactions with the furry community have taught me
6609 anything, it's that the proper way to deal with a porcupine is
6610 simply to pet their quills in the right direction.
6612 <@Grinnz> oh what fun it is to use version.pm wrong
6613 <@Grinnz> (with a slightly odd cadence)
6614 <@rjbs> how do you use version.pm with an odd cadence?
6615 <@Grinnz> it sort of happens when you can't even
6620 < masochist> no file for you
6622 <@mst> my ($sql, @bind) = @$$query;
6623 <@arcanez> @$$ holy sigils
6624 <@arcanez> it's like perl is secretly swearing at you
6625 <@perigrin> @$$hole.
6627 < Altreus> Apparently I can do 6 hours of Rimworld with no problems, but
6628 2 episodes of Darkest Dungeon ruins my throat
6630 -!- staff_cant_code [~coder@12.sub-70-197-12.myvzw.com] has joined #freenode
6631 <+sexytime> whatup staff_cant_code
6632 <+sexytime> staff may not be able to code but you cant ban evade for shit
6633 -!- staff_cant_code [~coder@12.sub-70-197-12.myvzw.com] has quit [K-Lined]
6635 <+WoodyPC> Gotta go yall, Work not finished for the day. Still have 4
6638 <+WoodyPC> Tractor.....No luck needed.
6640 -!- ilbot3 [~bot@tina.perlgeek.de] has joined #perl6-dev
6641 < moritz> timotimo: ilbot3 suffers from throttling just as much as dalek does
6642 < mst> IRC says: no breath play without a safe word
6643 < moritz> mst: a safe *word* might be... insufficient when doing breath play
6645 <@ubu> "I don't have to be faster than the bear, i just have to be faster
6647 <@mst> premature ejaculation is normally frowned on in dungeons
6648 <@ubu> depends on the pricing model, really.
6650 < rooster255> mst: aren't you the author of common::sense?
6651 * mst sets rooster255 on fire
6652 < tm604> rooster255++ # wars have started over less
6653 < revhippie> tm604: don't do that, he'll overflow
6655 < StoneCypherAW> oracle sql does not exist
6656 < StoneCypherAW> oracle sql is a scary story that you tell to children to
6657 get them to eat their vegetables
6658 < StoneCypherAW> like canada
6660 <jberger> why must the germans be so german
6662 < xenu> just installed mongodb and node.js
6663 < xenu> kill me, please
6664 < thrig> how's it feel to be webscale now?
6666 < ether> the cat just caught, and is now eating, a female American goldfinch
6668 < sungo> great. you've taught your cat sexism
6672 * Kincaid sniggers at mort
6675 * genio goes to get coffee and throw things.
6676 < mst> throw things first, or you might spill your coffee
6677 < thrig> CHDM, or the chair-hucking development model, gained traction in
6678 the computing industry in the late 20th century
6680 < ZoffixW> My latest attempt to build a Perl 6 web app resulted in my
6681 server eating 2GB of RAM in 1 hour and swapping like a hot
6684 <@trog> So the guy who made the regal cinema's roller coaster animation died.
6685 <@trog> I aim to be that kind of famous.
6686 <@trog> No one exactly knows who you are but a vast majority of the world
6687 has seen something you made and gone hmm weird.
6689 < huf> i'm gonna be buried with this fucking pun
6691 < Anniepoo> I think you just need to debug it
6692 < Anniepoo> welcome to a long life of groveling through code
6693 < Anniepoo> if you're an undergrad, you're at the start of some 2 million
6696 < Su-Shee> people should use okcupid as id provider.. so that the professional
6697 developer network you just sign up on can display "these java
6698 developers in your region like this practice xyz as well"
6700 < rjbs> I still find myself writing this pretty often, before fixing it:
6701 < rjbs> sub foo ($x, $z, $y) = @_ {
6702 < Grinnz_> yeah, those parameters are clearly out of order
6704 * mst swears, tries to work out where his brain went
6705 < errietta> mst: it was tasty
6706 < perigrin> that's a controlled psychotropic in like 160 jurisdictions ...
6708 < ilmari> you know you should go to bed when you try to change channels
6710 < ilmari> ../foo rather
6711 < ilmari> cd ../too<tab> # why doesn't that complete to toolchain?
6713 < ether> emojis have jumped the shark so long ago that now they're in a
6714 different marine park
6716 < pink_mist> pecan: are you 5?
6717 < pecan> pink_mist: Are you asking me if I'm 5?
6718 < tm604> pink_mist: nothing wrong with a bit of ELI5A
6719 < gordonfish> explain like I'm 5 alcoholics?
6721 < LeoNerd> Ohgod... tty_ioctls(4) is even worse
6722 < LeoNerd> When arg is nonzero, nobody knows what will happen.
6723 < LeoNerd> ^-- the manpage literally says that
6725 < Logos01> There is no problem which cannot be solved by a sufficiently
6726 sophisticated quantity of bees.
6728 < mst> I just discovered 'Spring Cloud' exists
6729 < mst> I feel like this should require me to take a shot.
6730 < TBSliver> that looks like a java thing for the spring webframework
6731 * TBSliver reaches for whiskey
6733 < mauke> someone implemented a jvm using refcounting
6734 < mauke> the algorithm had to be extended to deal with cycles
6735 < mauke> and that's where PHP got its algorithm
6736 < Grinnz_> the one for deciding which order function parameters go in?
6738 * mst ponders rebranding the mstpan the Comprehensible Perl Archive Network
6739 < dha> I think that may be a contradiction in terms.
6740 < mst> dha: well, *I* understand it
6741 < dha> I rest my case.
6743 < pete> I are slow at the moment
6744 * pete 30,000ft above Raleigh
6745 < rjbs> If I was 30,000ft over Raleigh, I think I'd be moving pretty fast
6746 < rjbs> but hopefully not straight donw
6748 <NamedN> i essentially just had an argument with my html fml
6750 < genehack> current orlando weather status for those of you not lucky
6751 enough to be here: thunder, pouring sidewise rain
6752 < kid51> A day like that makes you glad to be alive
6753 < genehack> makes me glad to be inside
6755 < pink_mist> genio runs on systemd?
6756 < genio> pink_mist: I think so. As I mentioned earlier, I've been finding
6757 new ways to hurt myself while being dumb at the same time.
6758 < genio> So, at least I have an excuse.
6760 < NamedN> you know when you've been staring at html all day and put your
6761 fb comments in <p> tags? yeah. that.
6763 < thrig> unix standards: made to be curiously changed by linux folk
6765 Development environments should help programmers think (but what if most
6766 programmers don't want to think?)
6769 < kentnl> Filenames with BEL in them are awesome.
6770 < kentnl> chdir foo<Tab>; "BEL" turns up in $PROMPT ... every line beeps.
6772 < errietta> I was telling people to get to voting
6773 < errietta> but my colleagues disappeared
6774 < errietta> You could say they didn't... Remain at their post
6775 < errietta> You could say they took an early... Leave
6777 < Altreus> cat code?
6778 < Altreus> sleep until hungry;
6779 < Altreus> mew until fed;
6780 < Altreus> eat; redo;
6782 <@sue> that's right: let's un-decimalise
6783 <@Zefram> bring back Lsd!
6784 <@sue> only let's make it EVEN MORE DIFFICULT
6785 <@Zefram> leap shillings?
6787 < huf> you'd need some kind of anti-corporate movement to actually get
6789 < Grinnz_> oh yeah, let's elect trump, i bet he's all about internet freedom
6790 < Grinnz_> except for the parts that talk about his small hands
6792 <@sungo> I was at the apple store this weekend and the rep reported that
6793 they often get the question "Do you support Apple Pay?"
6794 <@sungo> We agreed that in the future he should respond "No, we only
6795 support Google's payment system on Nexus phones"
6797 * kentnl is now overthinking CoC
6798 < kentnl> it could have only been made worse if they called it
6799 "Disciplinary Interpersonal Code of Kindness"
6801 < Kassandry> Mm. Orphaned inodes.
6802 < Kassandry> I shall call them Oliver.
6804 < Su-Shee> what's in english the difference between tripled and trebled?
6805 < Grinnz_> trebled sounds funny
6807 < NamedN> k, am officially a nerd.
6809 < huf> if i start making sense, call the ambulance, i've had a stroke.
6811 < e> i think that in order to remove the potential ambiguities caused by
6812 that, there should be a new law that all fleshlights have to also be
6813 flashlights, and vice-versa
6814 < e> all torches that you can't fuck are now illegal
6816 < christel> i have fond memories of living in devon
6817 < christel> apart from when you vomited on my walls
6819 <@sungo> "You have unsaved changes! Press OK to go back and save. Press Cancel
6820 to continue." ... ... so I have to "Cancel" my exit to exit
6821 <@rjbs> Press quit to exit, or exit to cancel. Press abort to continue.
6822 <@rjbs> [ OK ] [ Retry ]
6824 < rkeene> rkeene.org is pretty reliable :-)
6825 < dbohdan> True, it *is* pretty reliable. :-)
6826 < rkeene> 15 years of continuous operation so far
6827 < rkeene> If it goes down permanently it generally means I have died
6829 < Grinnz> "But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you my master
6830 plan. It's in an XML document." "You know what, just kill me
6831 first, if it's all the same to you."
6833 <@perigrin> the force can't seem to make the prequels go away.
6835 <+TheRealGitGud> question. does the $j:##channel thing stack?
6836 <+TheRealGitGud> if i keep regging channels and join those ban lists can
6837 i get an infinite amount of ban slots?
6838 <+thumbs> suddently, I regret telling you about this.
6840 < ahf> if one have a shitty manager, you can probably just reach out to
6841 your union and let them deal with it
6842 < tristan__> your what?
6843 < ahf> tristan__: that is what we call guns in europe
6845 < errietta> my anxiety has anxiety
6847 < kloeri> if you pasted in the channel back in dmwaters time you'd first
6848 get /kill'ed, then klined for good meassure, then firebombed to
6849 make sure you got the message and then nuked so you wouldn't
6850 repeat the mistake :p
6852 <+m721> mst: I challenge you to a fight to the death
6853 <+emerson> m721: that's a terrible idea
6854 <+m721> emerson: I must regain my honor by challenging mst
6855 -!- m721 has quit [Killed (mst (Challenge accepted. I win. Now hush.))]
6857 <@rjbs> I don't want us to build a wall.
6858 <@rjbs> I think it's a bad idea.
6860 <@rjbs> If we do, can we also wall off Florida?
6862 < huf> no no, gender is this mysterious force that's created in women's
6863 unshaved armpits and then goes on to attack poland
6865 < SquadGoals> mst is literally trevor from gta v
6867 < mst> I have concluded I cannot be fucked
6869 <+noslen> Fuck, this is bad, I got my floppy disk stuck in my toaster.
6870 <+noslen> How long do you toast it for?
6871 <+mniip> disk? no typo?
6873 < kentnl> [AntiFootGun]
6874 < kentnl> ABSTRACT: Pointing this gun at places generates new feet.
6875 * kentnl puts this gun in his mouth
6877 <@arcanez> people don't save their layouts?
6878 <@ether> I do periodically but it doesn't happen automatically
6879 <@ether> for a while mst was on 69 which was easy to remember.
6880 < alh> Because it's close to his age?
6882 < Burninate> Friendly reminder: Every time you misuse the word
6883 "literally", Grammar Mengele will sedate you while you sleep
6884 and flense another finger.
6886 <+jelly> having a single point of failure is much better
6888 < Logos01> (Ironically given the scenario involved, I could legitimately
6889 claim that I fixed an issue by a process that *enabled* SELinux)
6891 < Su-Shee> I can't do this anymore. too hot, no chocolate, the stupid herring
6892 salad was disgusting, chromium is still compiling, I hate hip shit..
6893 * Su-Shee looks for a java job at a bank next. or maybe insurance.
6894 < Su-Shee> maybe I should become an alcoholic...
6896 <@rjbs> "illiquid" is clearly some form of D&D monster
6897 <@rjbs> it's like the head of a mind flayer with a giant tail and it
6898 swims around in brackish pools of subterranean ponds
6900 <@alh> I don't know how to add friends in Origin
6901 <@chargrill> alh: step one: have friends
6904 <@chargrill> every stick of gum in this pack has been double wrapped.
6905 <@alh> That's the "Double" in Doublemint gum
6906 <@chargrill> it's wrigley's 5 peppermint/cobalt
6907 <@alh> Sure you didn't get papermint?
6909 <@mako132> can't think straight due to lack of snacks
6911 <@mako132> don't make me go out and get a twix and hit you with it
6913 <@sungo> I would just like to point out that MS Word for Mac 15.24 has a way
6914 to update all the field codes in a document. (Field codes are like
6915 table of contents, references, etc.) It's pretty easy. You go and
6916 change a default preference and then print the document.
6918 < revhippie> "The JSON library is fine. Unless the consumer is
6919 incredibly dumb, then we'd have to build it as a faux-JSON
6920 string." "Our boss wrote the consumer."
6922 <@ct> it seems telling how fast we've gone from "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"
6923 to naming a Navy ship after Harvey Milk
6924 <@trog> What better way to immortalize him than having his namesake
6925 covered in seamen...
6927 <@perigrin> "your email said there were ants, there were in fact aunts in
6928 the lounge. Not only did they eat all the cheese but they
6929 asked me a bunch of embarrasing and personal questions, and
6930 told me to call my mother more."
6932 <+di0x> still reading you idk how to ignore on weechat
6934 -!- mode/#freenode [-v di0x] by ChanServ
6937 <@ilmari> having every log entry as a git commit would be interesting, but
6939 <@pndc> I'm sure Lennart is on to implementing it even as we speak.
6941 < ningu> use Fish::Chips qw(encod decod);
6943 < ningu> did you hear what the Italian said to the German?
6945 < ningu> why do you criticize the Speck in your neighbor's eye when you
6946 ignore the prosciutto in your own?
6948 < Grinnz_> huf: how's hufspell coming along?
6949 < huf> great. it suggests COCK for everything
6951 * perigrin opens infobot and blinks
6952 <@perigrin> perl4! YAY!
6954 * errietta stabs virgin
6955 < errietta> the whole idea of having insurance on the phone is to be able
6956 to get it fixed when i erry it
6957 < Kassandry> errietta: Trying to keep an equoid infestation down?
6959 < mudkip> Microsoft recently bought LinkedIn.
6960 < mudkip> This is because they looked in the mirror, realized they
6961 just didn't quite have that evil touch anymore and decided
6962 to buy some outside talent for new blood.
6964 < e> to be honest i could imagine some kinds of working with people being
6966 < e> like setting them on fire in front of their families
6968 <@ether> and the cat has been out for 20 minutes and already has caught a
6969 small creature of some kind
6970 <@ether> he's whacking it in the driveway and watching it try to run away
6971 <@ether> another typical summer day I guess
6973 * perigrin tries to remember where arch hid gzcat
6975 <@hobbs> also, has no one invented a compression format called nyan yet?
6977 < xenu> just realized that lexical subs *almost* gave us private methods
6978 < mst> $self->${\\&lexical_sub}(...)
6979 < mauke> you're fired
6982 < xenu> i'm going to create xperl
6983 < xenu> but first, i must create some kind of high-profile cpan module
6984 < xenu> so i can make it not work on normal perls
6986 < TimToady> Why are people who engage in cultural warfare always so
6987 surprised when culture shoots back?
6989 < Altreus> MongoDB seems to be the UDP of data storage
6991 < ether> leave no one alive
6992 * genio slowly backs out of the room then turns and runs
6993 < kentnl> so, anyone want some juice?
6994 * leont starts playing The rains of Castamere
6996 < NamedN> I was most disappointed with the comments on my kindle book on
6997 Amazon, they were all positive and sensible :/
6999 < triddle> I think my buddy has us all beat, he does work from home, dresses
7000 in a nice shirt because he needs to do a lot of video conference
7001 < triddle> but no pants, no underwear, and a camera under the desk filming his
7002 balls live into chatterbate I think it is - sex chat roulette
7004 < huf> depends on what you want.
7005 < huf> if you want to delete it, delete it. but dont delete it if you
7006 dont want to delete it.
7007 < huf> it's like cake
7009 < Su-Shee> I JUST opened IRC and what do I see? huf spreading FUD ;)
7010 < huf> Su-Shee: it's not FUD
7011 < huf> it's just normal slander
7013 * b0at licks %ARGV so nobody else will take it
7015 < mst> Currently, this question is equivalent to "I have a left boot,
7016 four oranges and a tame orangutang. How do I conquer france?"
7017 <@gwern> mst: bah, napoleon did it twice and he didn't even have a tame
7020 < christel> you are always advocating killing stuff though
7021 < e> yes, but usually just children or cute fluffy animals
7023 < christel> there's that
7025 < Su-Shee> "msmtp" :)
7026 < pink_mist> like mst with an extra m and p
7027 < Grinnz_> mstp: the protocol by which you textually bludgeon others
7028 until they answer your actual question
7030 < frew> I get whois privacy free
7031 < frew> all you have to do is lie about your name and address
7033 < riceandbeans> I think I'm going to optimize this guy's code by putting
7034 some # in front of his lines
7036 < huf> oh come on, you'll just bend your knee to facts?
7037 < thrig> genufacting, I believe is the verb
7039 <+TheCubeLord> Lausefuchs: why are you "Ex-Staff"?
7040 <+Lausefuchs> because I killed the office goldfish and christel is still
7043 < jkva> Does anyone have a windows laptop that I can borrow an hour
7044 before the lightning talks? :)
7045 < mauke> I, too, like to smash a windows system shortly before my talks
7046 to get rid of the stress and blow off some steam
7048 <@sungo> english, how does it work
7049 <@sungo> "X's father has passed away earlier this week"
7050 <@sungo> The tenses in that sentence are making my eyeballs itch
7052 < mauke> well, all stolen cars end up in poland
7053 < thrig> is that where the "pole position" term comes from?
7054 < xenu> yeah, we steal german cars
7055 < xenu> that explains poland's air pollution problems
7057 < jbaumgartner> personally my favorite version of PHP is PHP 6
7059 <@Popehat> [4b] RT @wutif9: @awstar11 @Popehat It may be s.o.z ryt 2
7060 ignor d anthem, 2 burn d flag, 2 shout ppl down etc etc. So I
7061 wd lyk 2 hep em out... out uv America
7062 <@Popehat> [4c->4b] .@wutif9 @awstar11 That's easy for you to say.
7064 <mst> not like I object to assholes being assholes given I am one half the time
7065 <mst> just, like, only asshole at people who deserve it
7066 <mst> I don't mind him hating me at all ;)
7067 <masak> I just realized... you're like the Dexter Morgan of assholes :P
7071 <NamedN> I'm using you ;)
7072 <NamedN> ...as a device to remember to take the pizza out
7074 < Dave> who would've thought a conversation about rms could become weird
7076 < huf> c++ feels like particle science before a theoretical breakthrough :D
7077 < huf> "we've got these 92873 particles catalogued, but we havent got
7079 < thrig> or a kitten hopelessly tangled in string theory
7081 < buu> Thanks for being strange perl.
7083 < mst> I don't think she was actually paranoiaing?
7084 < mst> it's normally louder when that happens
7085 < masochist> hard to tell sometimes
7086 < errietta> look for the SCREAMING or the aaaaa or the +b
7088 < e> i don't hate everyone
7089 < e> in fact i don't particularly hate anyone
7090 < e> i just make up for it by hating everything they love
7092 < ShimmerFairy> nine: what are you talking about? VARIAB~7.TST is
7093 perfectly understandable! :P
7094 < mst> ShimmerFairy: I WILL PEE ON EVERYTHING YOU LOVE
7095 < nine> .oO(IWILLP~1.EEO)
7097 < Dorward> I spurn hex. rgba() has my love now.
7098 < mdk> Dorward: heretic
7099 < Dorward> mdk: antediluvian
7100 < mdk> You trendy kids with your fucking alpha channels
7102 < LeoNerd> Ooh maybe I can do this better by querying gdk-pixbuf and just
7103 asking "Bro, do you SVG?"
7104 * LeoNerd shall read the Entirely Simple, Comprehensive and Easy To
7105 Read(TM) Gdk.pm documentation
7107 <@ether> upon my return from running a few errands, I feel something
7108 tickly at my throat; reach up to scratch it, and come back with
7109 wasp guts on my fingernails.
7110 <@ether> apparently I killed a wasp with my neck at 110 km/h.
7112 < mauke> that could use a better error message than "Out of memory!"
7113 < gordonfish> mauke: How about singing "A bicycle built for two" at ever
7115 < gordonfish> "Daaaaaaaaisy daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaisoooo........"
7117 < mauke> Gemeinschaftsgeschmacksmusterverordnung
7118 < xenu> german doesn't really need sentences, does it?
7120 < sungo> so, by default, ansible puts all its output into cowsay
7121 < sungo> you can turn that off. OR you can change template.
7122 < sungo> so, yes, you can use 'cowsay -f sodomized' for your
7123 orchestration output
7125 < Dave> getting five guys inside me got me better in the morning though,
7126 just had to take it slowly at first
7128 < leobut> I had tacos two days ago, I love tacos, but they always give me
7130 < leobut> By "worst gas" I mean I could clear an air port. Gas so bad
7131 only Hilter could appreciate it.
7133 < ilmari> it's handy when talking about perl: @_ = snail, $_[0] = slug zero
7134 < ilmari> LeoNerd++ # snail/slug terminology
7135 < ilmari> me-- # almost typoed that as snail/slut
7136 < mauke> slug shaming
7138 * arcanez has resorted to opening trout.me.uk links in incognito mode
7139 < mst> why? I don't send you any cookies
7140 < Grinnz> browser history :P
7141 < mst> http://trout.me.uk/hopper.jpg
7143 < ttmrichter> GOD DAMN IT ALL JUST LEARN TO FUCKING READ YOU CRETIN!
7145 <@Zefram> Wikipedia front page has some inaccurate information about Star Trek!
7146 <@Zefram> I was born for this moment
7148 <@vmbrasseur> That entire process needs gutting out & fixing.
7149 <@vmbrasseur> I don't like how it turned out.
7150 <@vmbrasseur> But I ran out of fucks to give & have yet to requisition more.
7152 < Kassandry> Oh, cool. As of r305323, zfs on FreeBSD has compressed ARC! =)
7153 < perigrin> wouldn't a compressed ARC just be a line?
7154 < perigrin> or possibly a large stack of wood with animal guts in the middle?
7155 < masochist> perigrin: I see you still reside in a punnery
7157 < kuudes> how much is an ak47 again? 50$?
7158 < ggreer> the main cost isn't the rifle though. it's the soldier
7159 < kuudes> "Sudan$86 for AK-47, $33 for child" says
7160 http://www.havocscope.com/black-market-prices/ak-47/
7162 -!- beetlejuice has quit [Quit: /QUOTE QUIT :QUIT /QUIT /QUOTE QUIT :QUIT
7163 /QUIT /QUOTE QUIT :QUIT /QUIT /QUOTE QUIT :QUIT /QUIT /QUOTE QUIT :QUIT
7164 /QUIT /QUOTE QUIT :QUIT /QUIT /QUOTE QUIT :QUIT /QUIT /QUOTE QUIT :QUIT
7165 /QUIT /QUOTE QUIT :QUIT /QUIT /QUOTE QUIT :QUIT /QUIT /QUOTE QUIT :Q]
7167 <@hobbs> "Maximum cable distance supported between the root and the last
7168 outlet is 300 feet (60 meters)."
7169 <@genehack> ...do the cables not work as well when used with the metric
7172 <@ether> MMD is one of those modules where every time I find a bug, and I find
7173 the source of the error, three more lumps pop up somewhere else
7174 <@ether> it's like a herd of yaks under a huge blanket and you don't know
7175 where they're hiding until you push down and hear one bleat
7177 < mst> Internet of What The Fuck Are You Doing
7178 < masochist> it. wrong.
7180 < Obormot> So this G5 tower I bought on Craigslist...
7181 < Obormot> Unexpectedly came with a music CD in the drive
7182 < Obormot> Of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Young_Ones_(album)
7183 * Obormot is discovering new music via collecting old Macs, apparently
7187 < Athrelon> .000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
7188 < Betawolf> You're adding nothing to this channel.
7190 < xaeridus> Ugh, facebook is trying to trap me.
7191 < xaeridus> I have too many neaderthals that need to get updates on the kids
7192 < triddle> xaeridus: publish your kid updates on chaturbate
7193 < triddle> just tell your family to click reload until they see your boy
7195 22:15 < Su-Shee> I agree and actually do 75% of his positions and the second
7196 he says gnu linux I want to cry
7197 22:20 < Su-Shee> well rms talk just made me discover OH GOD AND NOW IS SINGING
7198 APL SONGS AND I WANT TO DIE
7200 < tm604> one of the nice things about dzil is that by the time you have it
7201 working the way you wanted in the first place, there's a healthy
7202 sense of doubt as to whether that time was a sensible investment
7204 < KindOne> Why do Java programmers need glasses?
7205 < KindOne> Because they can't C#.
7207 -!- spyingisntethica is now known as incog
7209 < incog> good, i can talk
7210 -!- incog has quit [K-Lined]
7212 10:56 <@itz> you are idiot
7214 10:58 <@itz> and your use of ad hominem reflects badly on you
7216 < mst> GIANT ASTEROID 2K16
7217 < perigrin> mst: make glaciers great again
7219 < johto> I didn't get the joke
7220 * ilmari didn't catch it either
7221 < Zr40work> you should both take exception
7222 < ilmari> I think it needs throwing out
7224 "Everyone has a test environment. Some of us also have a separate
7225 production environment."
7227 on https://www.reddit.com/r/talesfromtechsupport/comments/54eh1a
7229 < Su-Shee> I parse regex with html.
7231 < Mort> pol: fu'd nfs server apparently.
7233 < mst> there's another sort?
7234 < pol> mst: powered off?
7236 <errietta> i got a letter from 10 downing street
7238 <errietta> it says they forwarded my angry rants to the home office where
7241 < sungo> in osx captain jack sparrow, they added SIP that protects paths
7242 like /System and /usr
7243 < sungo> it protects where your crontab would live, preventing you from
7246 < Mithaldu> farage is actually better at politics than trump
7247 < triddle> I've heard him over 15 minutes, he manages to sound lucid
7248 < triddle> not like trump where in 15 minutes he's 10 year old kid is
7249 good at cyber which is a hard problem maybe can't solveable
7251 < Homo_Iracundus> “Nearly Half of Adults in Britain and Europe Hold
7253 < Homo_Iracundus> Some journalists just need to be gently smothered with
7254 a normal distribution to encourage the others
7256 < Su-Shee> yes. I imagine you all purring at my feet all day.
7257 < anno> 700 cats to feed
7258 * thrig claws the carpet
7259 * genio nonchalantly knocks things of increasing value off of the tables
7261 < avgn5> But it is an interesting reminder of how more disciplined and
7262 trusting the Internet was in general way back before it went
7263 mainstream and the hordes of lusers over ran it like orcs in a
7266 < jmac> I do have WSDLs! They're... embedded in a... PDF. that's fine,
7269 < Seveas> I've upgraded git again on camel. gitweb did not break \o/
7270 < dcollins> Software is compatible with other software! Woo!
7271 < hobbs> (sometimes)
7274 * LeoNerd ponders ->hammertime
7275 < thrig> obv halting problem
7277 < rnbhat> hello, is that KindOne Trolling LLC? I'd like to hire you
7278 < KindOne> rnbhat: you have come to the right place!
7279 < rnbhat> how does it work?
7280 < KindOne> it doesn't
7282 * LeoNerd wonders, for the briefest moment, why $work monitoring system
7283 wasn't sending alerts to complain that the alerting system was down
7285 < ilmari> quis monitoriet ipsos monitores?
7287 < triddle> that IBM thinkpad (the pentium mmx) was a champion, I accidentally
7288 knocked it off a counter onto a hardwood floor once
7289 < triddle> it bounced and hit the ground again, rebooted, and had ~16 meg
7290 less ram, but was otherwise fine
7292 <@hobbs> I'm just saying, Blindsight and Echopraxia are really excellent
7293 works that are probably responsible for more suicides than your
7296 < mr-foobar> Now javascript is in ... look at all the fun we are having
7298 < tm604> s/fun/frameworks/
7300 <@ether> motherfucking motherfucker of all motherfucks
7301 <@sungo> I want that on my business card
7303 < genio> holy crap! Hell hath frozen over a bit.
7304 < genio> Atlassian fixed something
7306 < genio> crap. ice has melted. they broke it in another way.
7308 * GumbyPAN CPAN Upload: Data-Tubes-0.736 by POLETTIX
7309 https://v1.metacpan.org/release/POLETTIX/Data-Tubes-0.736
7310 < mst> polettix: you'll be releasing a companion module called Data::Truck ?
7311 * mauke sends mst an internet
7313 < triddle> I can't imagine an aligator being abused me caring honestly
7314 < triddle> tie it up and beat it with a stick for a while before it is
7315 slaughtered, no problem, it is a giant stomach with teeth
7316 < triddle> proof nature hates everything
7318 < huf> genio: i think there's a bit of florida in all of us
7319 < huf> which, now that i think about it and the shape of florida... uh
7320 < genio> America's Wang!
7321 < thrig> florida wang, florida wang, something something sturm und drang
7323 < Grinnz> fedora won't even have perl in the buildroot by default pretty soon
7324 < Grinnz> ****cloud****
7326 <NamedN> python decide.py
7327 <NamedN> wut. you're not powershell :/
7329 < semifor> mst has been my crack dealer for years
7330 < perigrin> semifor: he's more the Heisenberg here. He *makes* the crack.
7331 < perigrin> Why do you think stevan wanted him to shave his head for the
7334 <@mst> if my persian was annoyed she'd deliberately shit on *my* bed
7335 * ether read that as "my person"
7336 <@ether> so then I thought "sounds about normal for mst; moving on then"
7339 * viki goes to look up how to use gdb
7341 * viki goes to look up how to *install* gdb :)
7344 < Dorward> Argh ... Unlucky for some :/
7345 < triddle> I've got #systemd-help bound to window 13
7346 < triddle> it is also bound to window 666
7348 <triddle> I signed up to be responsible for turkey day, so we are having
7350 <triddle> i'm pretty sure if they had pork chops for the original thanksgiving
7351 that they would have been eating those instead of a fucking turkey
7353 <@alh> I was told to bring instant to Au to fuck with them
7354 <@alh> I should bring hiking instant coffee
7355 <@alh> That shit is SO awful
7356 <@alh> Wouldn't wish that on the systemd folks
7358 < errietta> and i don't want to end up lying on the tracks waiting for a
7359 cancelled train to run me over
7360 < mst> NHS waiting list versus Southern Fail: which one will get to you first?
7361 < triddle> tifu by trusting southern rail to kill me
7363 <@sungo> even if you're in the room when management makes a decision, they're
7364 working off data that's produced by dozens if not hundreds of people
7365 <@hobbs> the more people who formed the report, the better it feels when
7368 < Madplatypus> I used to hang with the left as the Table of Least Madness, but
7369 I'm getting increasingly uncomfortable with that. Used to feel
7370 like the Social Justice/Socialism side was that one Uncle at
7371 Thanksgiving, but now the goddamn turkeys are berating me.
7373 < mst> ... your nick is very strange today, dear
7375 -!- su-Shee is now known as Su-Shee
7376 < Su-Shee> half dressed.. tsk.
7378 < mst> atom needs quite a bit of CPU and RAM to perform
7379 < simcop2387> better than eclipse on my laptop. 4 core 8 thread, 32gb ram.
7380 < mst> well, yeah, but that's like saying "more durable than MyISAM on ext2"
7381 < simcop2387> bah, use UFS like a real unix
7383 < kent\n> I have JFS disks spinning somewhere. I also have btrfs, the
7384 filesystem that is made of trees of bees.
7386 < errietta> apple store thing?#]
7387 * errietta glares at typing skills
7388 < errietta> The enter button is one to the right, hands
7390 < LeoNerd> Meh; I still feel like I'm randomly making things up here.. :/
7391 < LeoNerd> I either want to know what I'm doing, or blind
7392 copypaste/import/whatever from someone else so at least I can
7393 blame them if it goes wrong
7395 < mst> Grinnz: ::Stuff uses Email::Send, ::Stuffer uses Email::Sender
7396 < pink_mist> and of course Email::Suffer uses Email::Shredder
7398 < sungo> poll for unixy people: what x11 terminal do you use?
7399 < triddle> https://i.imgur.com/4RfSFb4.jpg
7400 < mst> triddle: that's a highly unusual choice of terminal
7401 < Kassandry> It's python.
7403 <^7heo> You should stop expecting that the quality of postgresql is a standard
7405 <^7heo> or you're gonna have very nasty surprises when using other software
7406 <johto> my head is too far up the elephant's rear to see clearly
7408 < Kassandry> Ah yes, we like diptheria, it's traditional.
7409 < sungo> just like child labor
7410 < Kassandry> Make Children Useful Again
7411 < masochist> you writing PHP, Kassandry?
7413 < ningu> we need a single fish and chips standard. unicod
7415 * Yady should figure out how long to put a whole chicken in the oven.
7416 < Kincaid> depends...is it dead yet?
7418 <@arcanez> I got rearended by a human on Saturday
7419 <@mst> arcanez: did they at least buy you dinner first?
7420 <@arcanez> I got to rear-end the person in front of me
7421 <@arcanez> so didn't think it was necessary
7423 < ningu> I wonder why pointers are still allowed as pets. seems like a
7425 < ningu> the OO programmers all have setters anyway
7428 < notviki> So yeah, as you can see it all makes perfect sense!
7430 < AlexDaniel> what the fucking fuck
7432 < ningu> one windmill says to another, what kind of music do you like?
7433 the second answers, I'm a big metal fan.
7434 < preaction> are they on a farm? they could be country fans too
7436 < x61s> Logos01: I wonder what's on that security admin's mind.
7437 < Logos01> The netsec admin? Probably what was on his mind was "I like tacos"
7438 < Logos01> Although that might be a tad too sophisticate a reasoning process.
7439 < Logos01> Maybe more like "Mmm... tacos" ?
7441 < ether> mildy interesting - homicide rates, by the province/state:
7442 https://i.imgur.com/jt8QwT9.png
7443 < masochist> big chunk of no data there, sadly
7444 < sungo> masochist: the "chunk of no" is silent
7446 < Skizzerz> cloaks are not infallible on freenode
7447 < Skizzerz> a non-oper can decloak someone with enough patience
7448 <@e> it doesn't really even take much patience
7449 <@e> but also if you do it i'll stab you, just saying
7451 < trog> I found a spotify CLI... Now when my grep command returns a null
7452 value It plays U2 I still haven't found what I"m looking for.
7454 < xenu> software developers get the same experience with linkedin as
7455 beautiful women get with dating websites
7456 < xenu> job offer unrelated to your current experience is linkedin's
7457 equivalent of a dickpic
7459 < mst> I'm torn between "oh look, masak discovered haskell" and "oh look,
7461 * masak .oO( lambda calculus looks like whatever last gave you a headache )
7463 < Zr40> Mist + -1℃ = crazy car drivers
7464 < xiaomiao> Zr40: more like rain = crazy car drivers
7465 < xiaomiao> fog/mist/snow makes them just totally incoherent (how is
7466 traffic light? I don't know how to foot!)
7468 < sobel> Q: Is your code unit-tested?
7470 < sobel> Q: Is it mocked?
7473 < ningu> was in the netherlands recently and google maps pronounced everything
7474 according to english spelling rules. incomprehension resulted
7475 < tm604> we have rules?!
7476 < ningu> best one was Lijsterbes which came out as "lidge sturbs"
7478 < mst> I find it somewhat unlikely any threat capable of rowhammering my
7479 phone isn't capable of getting me some easier way
7480 < epitron> mst: and if they did get in, the threat that owns the baseband
7481 processor would kick them out
7483 < mst> eiro: define safe.
7484 < Zefram> that's that warm fuzzy feeling that Devel::Declare doesn't give
7486 < alh> Devel::Declare gives me a warm trickling sensation
7488 < triddle> so far textual seems good
7490 < triddle> well maybe having that in the control strip is weird
7491 * masochist screenshots triddle using an emoji
7493 < mst> perigrin: your great-great-grandparents were english subjects?
7494 < perigrin> several more greats
7495 < mst> perigrin: which one waas Language and which one was Literature/
7496 < perigrin> mst: he was language, she was my grammer.
7498 < Kincaid> there is something just Wrong about the way windows 10 just
7499 reinstalls without any faff, and also respects the linux partition
7501 < Obormot> The web is suck a clusterfuck. It's incredible. I don't know
7502 how I manage to keep being surprised by this, but I do.
7504 * gwern sighs. added "-beer" to his google alert a week ago. next alert,
7505 top hit: 'Gwern světlé výčepní pivo 10°, Gwern beer. Pivo Muhammad
7506 Ali ... Gwern vyskákaný hnědák, Gwern Beer. ... Gwern světlý ležák
7507 12°, Gwern beer.' boolean expression, YOU HAD ONE JOB
7509 < anno> printing random bits to the terminal is going to end in tears
7510 < LeoNerd> Usually :)
7511 < LeoNerd> Unless you know what you're doing
7512 * LeoNerd sometimes knows what he's doing
7514 < mst> "All bits are random, but some bits are more random than others"
7515 < mst> (Rowhammer Farm)
7516 < masochist> 5. 5. 5. 5. 5. 5. 5. 5. 5. 5. 5.
7518 < perigrin> they're perl scripts on the internet
7519 < perigrin> sturgeon's law applies double there
7520 < masochist> if you thought it's impossible for 180% of everything to be
7521 crap: matt's script archive
7523 < Douhet> The polish never went to the euro?
7524 < mst> eastern europe mostly escaped that mistake
7525 < Douhet> s/mistake/adventure/
7526 < feep[nb]> yeah "adventure" in the sense of "WHY IS THERE A BOULDER TRAP"
7528 < masochist> open this channel this morning and the first thing I see is
7529 "I'm assuming ftm-merkel + mtf-trump"
7530 < masochist> I'm... not reading the rest of those 87 lines of scrollback
7532 < JBeshir> I hear that in SF the water is laced with microdosed LSD and
7535 < xcin> it's laced with google employees
7538 * frew wonders if Grinnz ever types `/me grins` but then pressed ^U
7540 < frew> hobbs: I'll allow it
7542 < buu> fuck off with this false equivalence shit
7543 < buu> we barely even have an american left
7544 < huf> you have a polish right wing tho
7545 < huf> you call them democrats
7547 <@perigrin> I honestly am not prepared at this time to make even a
7548 hypothetical investigation into the reasons ubu's ass may be
7551 < huf> mst: you welsh always mix up poland and hungary, tisk tisk
7553 < Popehat> [2c] RT @marilynmaupin: @Popehat You listen to your voice
7554 mails? Just how old are you?
7555 < Popehat> [2d->2c] .@marilynmaupin The associate I usually have listen
7558 < huf> there's no need to fear
7559 < huf> russia has a strong ally in hungary, which guarantees they will lose.
7560 < huf> no matter what happens, you can depend on it that hungary will
7561 pick the losing side
7563 * LeoNerd guesses #perl may not be the ideal place to hire android devs ;)
7564 < thrig> try jobs.perl.org
7565 < LeoNerd> .. for android? :P
7566 < thrig> THAT'S THE JOKE
7568 <@ct> systemd is a festering pool of sociopathically bad attention to detail
7570 * jnthn wonders how that works :)
7571 < lizmat> rakudobug material ?
7573 < jnthn> I didn't even know we had that feature :P
7575 < xcin|out> i only date people with names from the off-world castes
7576 < xcin|out> like "10538" and "dirt"
7578 < perigrin> "no but I did it anyway" is my most and least favorite answer
7579 when someone asks mst if something is possible.
7581 < feep> there was a truecrypt volume in there, no idea what the password
7582 was. straight up deleted it. I don't know what 19 year old me
7583 wanted hidden so badly they put it on a truecrypt volume, but I
7584 feel they would agree it's better this way.
7586 <kbk_> I find that well over half the time I'm selecting COUNT(1), I'm doing
7587 it with a GROUP BY clause and returning multiple rows anyway.
7588 <stu> Pretty sad, imo, if you need an sql db just to count to 1.
7589 <stu> 6 I can understand, but 1? That's what the fpu is for.
7591 <@cat-xeger> "WARNING: This product contains enough drug (iron) to
7592 seriously harm a child" <-- so does my frying pan
7594 < parabolize> Emacs has multiple irc clients installed by default.
7595 < thrig> it's in a race with systemd to see which gets a proper editor first
7597 * ether watches the cat package himself up ready for amazon shipment
7598 <@ether> (it's a physical law that every amazon box on the floor must be
7599 occupied by cat. I looked it up.)
7601 < Grinnz> "After the Bolshevik Revolution in 1917, the term "White
7602 Russia" caused some confusion, as it was also the name of the
7603 military force that opposed the red Bolsheviks." ah, namespaces
7605 < pol> I was actually looking at Node.JS for something before Python
7606 < pol> and quite honestly I get a migraine trying to read it
7607 < pol> I don't think I've ever seen anything quite so "Sneeze letters at
7608 a screen" in a long time
7610 <@ilmari> C is a dog. C++ is trying to make an octopus by nailing extra
7613 <@perigrin> well and there was that one time I was in NYC and realized
7614 that it was the smell of urine that was causing the
7615 flashbacks to London.
7617 < errietta> mst: my spreadsheet is amazing.
7618 < mst> you're using excel, and I'm now going to cry.
7619 < errietta> why the fuck not, i'll do this in perl
7620 < sungo> import it into openoffice so that no one can ever open it again
7622 < errietta> Selhurst, this is Selhurst. The train now standing on
7623 platform 1 is the 2011 southern service to tattenham corner
7625 < Mithaldu> that train is 6 years late, damn
7627 * Grinnz wonders if mst used 'cunts' in the british or american sense there
7628 < mst> Grinnz: I thought the british/austrialian sense was "very strong
7629 insult", and the american sense was "very strong insult and now
7630 your entire team has to go to sensitivity training"
7632 <@cat-xeger> ... but this isn't a codebase I know screamingly well, or
7633 really in many ways other thna screaming
7635 <@cat-xeger> There... I may have -FINALLY- found where the festering
7636 object I'm looking for is created...
7637 <@cat-xeger> ... now, if I could only remember why I cared ...
7639 < ningu> but database is a vague concept
7640 < vague> Can I tm it?
7641 < tm> no, you cannot.
7644 < ilmari> is it just me or is the sql standard committee deathly afraid of
7646 < RhodiumToad> ilmari: my standing joke is that they're paid by the syntax
7647 production, with a special bonus for every new reserved word
7649 < mst> Giant Asteroid 2020! Make Glaciers Great Again!
7650 < c0rw1n> won't be worse than the donald
7652 < feep> This Orbit For Sure!
7654 < ragazor> u from finland?
7655 <@Fuchs> no, we just have roughly as many Umlauts as they do
7656 < mst> they got 50/50 custody in the divorce
7657 <@Fuchs> they got Sauna and Booze, we got Chocolate and Cheese, wfm
7659 < IOninja> I'm gonna rename the 'fap' method in IO::Path...
7661 < mst> yes. good plan.
7662 < IOninja> At least it's a private fap....
7664 < ChoHag> True answers are always more useful.
7665 < ChoHag> I may even be in the fortunate position of having an employer
7666 who understands that.
7667 < ChoHag> Certainly they haven't fired me yet.
7669 < anno> als check if echo is followed by "; other command"
7670 < LeoNerd> echo `rm -rf`
7672 < tm604> there might not be much /etc after commands like that
7674 < Su-Shee> good evening everyone
7675 < huf> but at what cost
7676 < ilmari> and then the murders began
7678 < abudhabi> Does cocaine syrup actually cure alcoholism?
7679 < c0rw1n> only one way to find out
7680 < abudhabi> Yes, but where do I find an alcoholic hobo at this time of night?
7681 < c0rw1n> outside and drunk ?
7683 -!- dglambert [~devin-@unaffiliated/devin-] has joined #angularjs
7685 < heartburn> P R A I S E S A T A N
7686 < heartburn> S A T A N S A Y S B R U S H Y O U R T E E T H
7688 < Finn> http://www.trout.me.uk/hopper.jpg
7689 < Mithaldu> so many questions
7690 < Finn> I didn't even question it, it just seemed something not
7691 surprising that mst had it at the ready
7694 < perlbot> ttkp: bullshit, I'm way more than 3
7696 < mst> today, my friend is dead, and I'm going to have to arrange to get
7697 his namespace ownerships and projects adopted
7698 < namespace> That is the worst accidental ping I've received yet.
7701 <@sungo> ignoring that you have to go to mexico, aeromexico seems to do
7702 economy class right conn.type_map_for_results =
7703 PG::BasicTypeMapForResults.new conn
7704 <@sungo> unlike my paste buffer
7706 * namespace is asking a friend with huge stores if we can work something out.
7707 < mst> I, I, "Friends With Terabits"
7708 < namespace> He's got a yuge server rack.
7709 < namespace> With a massive NAS.
7711 * Rosemary remembers ibuprofen exists
7712 < Rosemary> ... wrong window
7713 < Kincaid> ooh, good call, I have a sore ankle
7714 < Rosemary> accidental victory!
7716 * lucidian tries to remember how to say things in Latin
7717 * lucidian can only remember bits of Finnish instead
7719 < aindilis> anyone know the rough equilvanet of shell_quote in Java?
7720 < mst> probably abandonHopeAllYeWhoEnterHereFactory
7722 < Su-Shee> I'm betting on StdoutLineFactoryShellStringQuoted.
7724 * gwern tries to attach a .patch to a github issue. 'We don't support
7725 that file type.' -_-
7727 <NamedN> is it just me or are antiviruses a lot like condoms with holes
7728 in? They make you feel protected, then you realise you have a
7729 world of shit to go through to get rid of the results...
7731 < sungo> in the early days of wrist wearables, we used to joke that
7732 monogamous men's data would show when their partner was away.
7733 < sungo> "man, when I was out of town, your fitbit claims you did 800k
7736 < freeside> sysadmins don't get no respect.
7737 < ChoHag> We don't need it.
7738 < ChoHag> We have root.
7740 < sevvierose> Eh. No matter how well I word myself on Twitter, or on
7741 YouTube... I'm still just sober and publicly masturbating. x.x
7743 <@schmooster> "you can't milk an almond, can you, it's not a mammal"
7744 <@arc> "almond spooge" is only a single-bit error away from "almond sponge"
7746 < kd> if pl/sql is pronounced "piggle squggle" then PL/pgsql is
7747 pronounced "piggle higgle squiggle"
7749 < restol> ----:-;\,..
7750 < drethelin> I don't know what emoji that is
7751 < jasonium> I think that's a complete scala program.
7753 < mst> oh for gods' sake sysdig.org redirects to github so
7754 https://sysdig.org/ which is the URL in google invalid certs me
7757 <@ether> rjbs: yes Wii U
7758 <@ether> still meh on the switch
7759 <@cat-xeger> try the rod instead?
7760 <@rjbs> not until they introduce one with a flared end
7762 <@e> mst lives to get 'em with the small penis
7764 < thrig> teach a fish to eat men and you'll have less questions from said men
7766 < ilmari> sawyer: proposed perlrun.pod patch pushed.
7767 < ilmari> above alliteration altogether accidental
7769 < tomboh> delayed reaction: I'm happy to pop by and grab ilmari's camel :)
7770 <@mst> I've never heard it called *that* before
7771 < tomboh> I'm not sure exactly what it means, but hey, for £30..
7773 < ningu> mistakes were made
7774 < mst> misteaks were well done
7775 < ningu> stake your claim, then claim your steak
7778 < nshepperd> [ ] Yes [ ] No [x] Overthinking
7780 <@mst> LAUNCH THE ROFLCOPTER
7781 <@perigrin> IT WAS SHOT DOWN BY SOME PHP CODE
7782 <@mst> I DISTRACT THE PHP PROGRAMMERS WITH GLAMOUR SHOTS OF ALH
7783 <@perigrin> YOU ROLL A 20, NOT ONLY DO YOU SUCCEED BUT YOU ALSO SUMMON PEDOBEAR
7785 < mudkip> (Yes that's right, the neopets boards reminded me of 4chan.)
7786 < mudkip> (This is not a coincidence, the neopets boards were
7788 < mudkip> (We used to raid small sites for the lulz.)
7790 < davidfetter_ge> "beware the ides of march!"
7791 * davidfetter_ge considers that March is a terrible month to release an
7792 integrated development environment :P
7794 < e> ANGER IS THE ONLY EMOTION THAT TRULY ENGAGES
7797 <@sungo> yes. I wanted this code to suddenly descend into string encoding
7799 <@sungo> THIS IS WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED
7801 < TBSliver> heres your string, peg, frets, fingerboard, top-shell,
7802 pick-guard, bottom-shell, side-shell, pickups, hollow-space,
7803 left-pad, wiring-framework, bootstrap, jquery..
7804 < TBSliver> UNMET DEPENDENCY: string requires guitar, guitar not found
7806 < Obormot> namespace: But why do you have a scrolling background at all
7807 < namespace> Because I was inspired by Blinx The Timesweeper and Pokemon.
7808 * Obormot pretends he didn't ask that question and thus never read the answer
7809 < namespace> Intelligent decision.
7811 < TBSliver> ... i just accidentally made a web based telnet client ...
7813 * laowai rubs eyes to see dramas
7814 <@dax> laowai: i've got some drama for you right here
7815 -!- mode/#freenode [+b *!*@117.136.22.159] by dax
7816 -!- laowai was kicked from #freenode by dax [stop ban-evading you twit]
7818 *** Side effects may include: Inter-cranial bleed, nose bleeds, esophageal
7819 prolapse, acid reflux, indigestion, and cancer of the teeth. In some more
7820 serious cases side effects may be life threatening. Consult your doctor
7821 if you experience an election lasting more than 4 hours. ***
7823 < koisoke> hug: javascript+dom is what i would expect of a
7824 post-apocalyptic display postscript designed by people working
7825 from badly deteriorated source printouts
7827 * mst humps perigrin's leg
7828 * perigrin checks to make sure purl is running
7830 < ningu> I heard JSMILL published List::Util::itarian
7831 < ilmari> List::Util::ikilt
7832 < thrig> ilmari: I did not need to see that source
7834 <@dax> don't be mean tx, that's mst's job
7836 <@sungo> "In those days, they did not have socks and semen covered the land"
7838 < xq> perlbot sweval: sub _ {1} +_+ -_- ~_^ (_)
7841 < nshepperd> '<sudonhim_> ...professional random number generators' you
7844 * leobut wonders what this world is coming to when a person can't even go
7845 camping without some random asshat trying to blow up a chemical toilet...
7847 <Hazelesque> In other news, today was the first day of the 4 day RHCE course
7848 <Hazelesque> Some new stuff, but much of it seems a bit noddy tbh, heh
7849 <Hazelesque> (Like, wow, an interactive lab version of "man 8 firewallctl",
7850 that was totally worth eleventy million pounds...)
7852 < moth> u____: I don't think I've seen you with this many underscores before.
7853 < u____> this isnt even my final form
7855 < Grinnz> ooh. PSGI as a make replacement
7857 < skington> Except not ->subtract because that method doesn’t exist. Sorry.
7858 < skington> You can say ->add(months => -2) instead, though.
7859 < skington> Which is correct *and* looks wrong, so you know you’re in the
7860 world of dates and times!
7862 < ChoHag> I'm not sure if I should have made this thing, but I did.
7864 < tm604> I never understood how we could have the Greenwich line slicing
7865 London in two, yet have the same timezone on both sides. the magicks
7866 required to sustain that temporal border must be strong indeed
7868 < dax> on the other hand the code quality for IOT things seems to be
7869 somewhere between "what is code quality" and "hilary clinton's dog
7872 * dax goes to type "but her emails" into address bar
7873 * dax gets autocomplete to buttplug.io
7874 < dax> fucking freenode
7876 < triddle-work> ok google order me a whopper burger
7877 < Mithaldu> triddle-work: that's amazon
7878 < masochist> I'd try it with siri but it'd probably order me adult
7879 diapers or something
7881 <@haarg> macOS, not MacOS
7882 <@haarg> MacOS is Mac OS Classic
7883 <@haarg> because we wouldn't want to be confusing
7885 <errietta> Colleague: Have you seen the code in $X?
7888 <errietta> Me: oh god burn it
7890 < pol> And... task planning to support a delivery on February first
7891 shows... we might be ready to do it on March 2nd.
7894 <@grumble> if it looks like a cat, walks like a cat, and meows like a
7895 cat, then it probably looks completely adorable but won't mind
7896 killing you for food
7898 < grumble> if I'm really lucky there will have been a world war and
7899 society has broken down before I have a chance to get a job in
7900 the software industry
7902 < mquin> - efnet.port80.se Message of the Day -
7905 < mquin> - THE INTERNET IS FULL. FUCK OFF.
7907 < xmj> i already commented elsewhere that saudi arabia, egypt, the US
7908 opening a centre on countering radical islam is hysterically hilarious
7909 < xmj> one of those countries sponsors literally the worst terrorist groups on
7910 the planet. the other two are in the middle east and northern africa
7912 <@perigrin> trog has a list of 7 words you can't say during standup
7913 <@perigrin> "just" is one of them
7914 <@mst> also most uses of "should"
7915 <@vmbrasseur> People should just stop using those words.
7917 <Zr40> "we can't use a RESTful design because it would make the URLs too long"
7918 <Zr40> same person: "I just learned that GET accepts a request body"
7919 <sobel> if they like treating HTTP like that, they'll love FTP
7920 <sobel> aka Fuck This Protocol
7922 < mst> bacon+cucumber butties <3
7923 < phaylon> I sure hope that's a food item
7924 < mst> for shoving up my arse, I'd probably go for just the cucumber
7925 * mdk resolves never to eat salad at mst's house
7927 < L1nd> dax: I play by my own rules and i make your network
7928 demonstratable beter
7930 <@dax> god you're such an idiot
7932 <@ether> new game show: "schmorp, or parody?"
7933 < perigrin> would that be the AnyEvent to Poe's law?
7935 < bigpresh> Please, please, please tell me that someone, at some point,
7936 has replied to one of his tickets with "Shut up, Wesley."
7938 < Zoffix> ZofBot: enable extra complaining mode
7939 <+ZofBot> Zoffix, This is the default behavior
7941 < AlexDaniel> oh… I just realized…
7942 < AlexDaniel> that you can .reverse string ranges too
7944 nnnnNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooo
7946 <NamedN> facebook is advertising the Conservative party to me
7947 * NamedN marks it as "this post offends me"
7949 < Flexor> "When my little daughter Snowdrop asks who her daddy is, I
7950 don't want to give her a photo of a turkey baster."
7952 < XORXERY> Just had some great sushi.
7953 < XORXERY> A man must have principles, one of mine is: no wasabi left behind.
7955 < mae> Although, it was pretty big before and I can see that it's not
7956 going to get any smaller.
7958 < mohawk> and yes, Net-SSLfml doesn't work "in space"
7959 <@preaction> i'm not seeing the Net-SSLlol report in the tail log
7960 <@mst> Net::SSLoleay
7961 < mohawk> because you're not worth it
7963 <errietta> I think I need to follow different subreddits.. I go there for
7964 the cute animals and shitposts and end up being educated
7966 < BenGoldberg> GumbyBRAIN, I have an alcohol problem. I don't drink
7968 <GumbyBRAIN> Mst: I haven't gotten enough sleep.
7969 < pink_mist> mention alcohol and GumbyBRAIN mentions mst ... makes sense :P
7971 < sawyer> "I have additional information about this ticket." "Sorry, sir.
7972 This is the North Atlantic Furry mailing list."
7973 < Grinnz> and this is why i hate using email for things
7976 <@mst> BEHOLD: http://dox.ipxe.org/stdarg_8h_source.html#l00019
7977 <@cat-xeger> I'm not funccional enough for that otdy.
7978 <@mst> maybe otmorrw
7981 < ggreer> it's more like a human rhizome. eg: imagine the butts of 4chan
7982 & twitter hooked up to reddit's mouth
7983 < c0rw1n> aaa so *that* is why they call it shitposting
7985 < mst> Dear LinkedIn, would you like some salad?
7986 < errietta> I'm looking for a salad with at least 2 tomatoes of experience
7987 < errietta> looking at your profile in which you're clearly not a salad i
7988 think you'd make a great match
7990 < El_Che> mst: you're concentrated evil
7992 <NamedN> so, otoh, i got food. otoh, i had to explain to an impatient
7993 delivery driver that i was dyslexic and if he wanted a fast
7994 solution to food i didnt order not being taken he could check
7995 the list him f'inself. which he did. then apologised to me. \o/
7997 * perigrin starts with the source because the docs are far too often old
7999 <@perigrin> (or old lies)
8001 < LeoNerd> Don't Pander To Idiots
8003 < thrig> Panther To Idiots is what I always say
8004 < LeoNerd> Don't Panda the idiots either ;)
8006 <@chargrill> rjbs: you around?
8008 <@alh> That happens daily :|
8010 <@yanick> I have to knife-fight alh for Mapley dominance?
8011 * alh dies with multiple stab wounds to the sound of yanick apologizing
8013 <@yanick> alh: it seems that all our encounters are fated to end that way
8015 <@sungo> arcanez: congratulations. you have completed the most simple
8016 docker use case possible. try anything more complex than that
8017 and it will eat your eyes
8019 < triddle-work> but it is 10 in the morning, can weekends start that early?
8020 < triddle-work> maybe I should start drinking :-/
8021 < Kassandry> Yes. Yes, you should.
8022 < Kassandry> What kind of a question is that?
8025 -!- grumble2 [~grumble@freenode/staff/grumble] has quit [Client Quit]
8027 < Fuchs> grumble = new Grumble()
8029 <@Mort> My first was 1st edition, I vaguely remember playing a monk.
8030 <@Mort> THAC0 wasn't THAT hard.
8031 <@Mort> It was pretty stupid, though...
8032 < Edmund> it built character
8034 <+jarick> Bock: Sarcasm may have flown over your head
8035 <+Bock> That's certainly possible. I am currently experiencing
8036 crisis-level blood serum caffein concentrations.
8037 <+Bock> (i.e., too much blood in my coffee stream)
8039 < user51> is oolong your cat?
8041 < user51> do you name all your cats after tea?
8042 < quanticle> He only has the one, so yes.
8044 < dax> i for one am shocked that a bot that gets joined to random
8045 channels because its owner can't be bothered with permissions
8046 would get k-lined because its owner can't be bothered with
8047 anti-abuse flood protection
8049 * Kincaid makes puppy dog eyes at Kian
8050 < Kincaid> (simple recipe, take several small dogs, reove eyes, blend
8051 with cream and amaretto)
8053 < heartburn> \ | | | | | | | | | | | /
8054 < heartburn> ~ F U C K B O O T S T R A P ~
8055 < heartburn> / | | | | | | | | | | | \
8057 < robsco> next question is, to always allow null for foreign keys, or
8058 only as the app requires? (i like to standardise)
8059 < ilmari> standardise on doing the right thing in each case
8060 < mauke> at a previous job, LEFT OUTER JOIN was the company standard for joins
8062 <@arcanez> has Apple started their own mortgage company so people can
8063 afford all this new hardware?
8065 * ilmari attempts lunch for the fourth time
8066 < ilmari> nobody distract me!
8068 <@trog> If I were trying to hide a body I'd hide it in the middle of the
8069 documentation for a Perl Module, no one would find it there.
8071 < Altreus> I always forget that
8072 < Altreus> I should tattoo it on my ...
8073 < Altreus> I was going to say forehead but I hate looking in the mirror
8074 < Altreus> I'm thinking on my palm so I see it when I facepalm
8076 * WritingAngel also resists the urge to try and figure out the connection
8077 between Simon Callow, Nancy Reagan, a nickel, and a mini twister.
8078 < Edmund> "things which have all been inside Ronald Reagan"
8079 * Kincaid reaches for the bad whisky
8081 < Rosemary> fun fact of the day: apparently there's a national shortage
8082 of dayglo orange paper
8083 < Rosemary> turns out an election on six weeks notice means the Lib Dems
8084 buy approx the entire country's stock
8086 < simbabque> is the interrobang what they did to you when stasi took you
8087 to the basement to the room with the chair and the lamp?
8090 <quicksilver> [1]+ less mylittlepony.txt &
8092 < Popehat> what if covfefe is a cloud
8093 < Popehat> a cloud, only instead of tiny water droplets its made out
8094 of hookers and when they pee on you it rains
8096 < Obormot> ... what the heck is a .isz file
8097 < Tene> gzipped icelandic text
8099 # Make sure we are in a sane environment.
8100 $ENV{MOD_PERL} or die 'not running under mod_perl!';
8102 <@hobbs> golf: whoever gets it in in the fewest strokes, wins.
8104 * ilmari quites like App::ModuleBuildTiny for the maximum underkill
8105 < ilmari> or should that be mininum underkill?
8106 < ilmari> "quites like"? wat‽
8107 < kentnl> You clearly haven't had your covfefe today.
8109 < Logos01> Oh my god I just saw the absolutely most persuasive argument
8110 against the Flat Earth position *ever*:
8111 < Logos01> If the Earth were actually flat, cats would have knocked
8112 everything off of it by now.
8114 < Altreus> computers are beyond my ken
8115 < ilmari> but are they beyond your barbie?
8117 < mst> I have kebab, joint and bourbon
8118 < mst> FORTIFICATION REQUIRED BEFORE ROUND TWO WITH THIS CODE
8119 < quicksilver> instructions unclear. Lit kebab and poured bourbon into
8122 <@vmbrasseur> About 10 years ago one of my devs used to bring his dog into
8123 meeting when he had something bad to report, just so he could
8125 <@perigrin> "We're going to ship late but puppy!"
8127 < Edmund> Run 20A through each of them at the wrong polarity and they'll
8129 < pol> Smoke Emitting Diodes and Light Emitting Resistors - not
8132 <@perigrin> Florida is kinda the Australia of the US. Four kinds of
8133 venemous snakes, two kinds of deadly spider, sharks, gators,
8134 crocodiles ... Floridians ...
8136 < perigrin> "Tonight we will be making French Onion Soup. This is Pierre
8137 [cut to a mime bound and gagged, strugging] he will be the
8138 French for our soup."
8140 < huf> i dont think we should play tongue twisters, lest we summon the poles
8141 < thrig> polish notation is easy to reverse though
8143 < Urchin[emacs]> freenode is like an university town of IRC
8144 < mst> if you want a hive of scum and villainy, your DNS resolver knows
8146 < ivan> and if you want to know what it's like to have an IQ of 60 try dalnet
8148 < two2theheadPC0> lollllllllllllllllllll
8149 < two2theheadPC0> My mistake :p
8150 < two2theheadPC0> Pardon me. Stupid keyboard
8151 < two2theheadPC0> lol*
8153 < niggler> do you think the string "123.40%%" corresponds to 1.234 or .01234
8154 < mst> I think it has two % signs and is probably an error
8155 < mst> and was *supposed* to be 1.234 except then cthulhu
8156 < niggler> ah forgot to require cthulhu.js
8158 < Grinnz> why do people keep making base modules for RESTful APIs when
8159 they usually have nothing in common?
8160 < Grinnz> Web::API, API::Client, REST::Client, ...
8161 < thrig> Web::API::Client::REST::Simple::ButMaintained::Hitler
8163 < masochist> "This interface uses #c0ffee, #teases and #facade, the
8164 latter because #faeces rendered a tad too pale."
8166 < huf> yes, criminals did not exist before http
8167 < huf> the word "nefarious" was not yet around
8168 < ilmari> and for a long time the only nefarious things around were porpoises
8169 < ilmari> which, as we know, don't use the internet
8171 <@perigrin> trog: looks like you need a premium t-shirt in Lemon Yellow
8173 <@mst> but I don't even like limoncello
8174 <@perigrin> mst: perhaps a lime viola then?
8176 < two2thehead> What's the procedure for destroying an old prescription note?
8177 < cask> two2thehead: Burn it then eat the ashes.
8178 <@saturn2> eat the ashes, take a dump into a bucket of wet cement, bury
8179 30 meters underground
8181 < simbabque> how do you pronounce Eyapp?
8183 < simbabque> right :D
8185 < triddle-work> ok that was pretty easy, I'm glad my problem is one
8186 lennart already thought of
8187 < masochist> fairly certain he thinks of making Unix admins miserable
8188 both when writing software and when masturbating
8190 <@trog> Seriously debating name a server Theory.
8191 <@trog> Just to argue with people about whether or not it works in theory.
8192 <@sungo> theory as a dev server. practice as the production server
8194 <kbk> We have Aldi over here (it corresponds to Aldi Süd) and
8195 Trader Joe's as well (Aldi Nord)
8196 <stu> Here we have Aldo. They sell shoes.
8197 <stu> You have to fill them with coleslaw yourself.
8204 < quicksilver> at times I questioned whether it was worth spending 9
8205 years building a twisted schema and convulted code base
8206 purely to drive errietta mad
8207 < quicksilver> but I have to say, the plan is working well.
8209 < huf> premature generalization sounds like a good way to lose a war
8211 < Zuu> What is this "lesswrong" thing?
8213 < Tene> Buy me a new bottle of gin and I'll sponsor you in the death cult.
8214 < dv-> death cult is in #systemd
8216 <@perigrin> enoyanick
8217 <@mst> we totally have a YA nick in here
8219 <@alh> "adult" is aiming a bit high, perhaps?
8221 * GumbyPAN CPAN Upload: Subclass-Of-0.007 by TOBYINK
8222 https://metacpan.org/release/TOBYINK/Subclass-Of-0.007
8223 < thrig> Subclass of 007? When did Bond get minions?
8225 <+Bahhumbug> Hi. Could you all please pick someone else to highlight
8227 < MetaNova> Bahhumbug wants us to highlight-spam someone else, guys
8228 <+nocaberi> As Bahhumbug wishes, so Bahhumbug shall be granted.
8230 < duckgoose> when I try to use /kline I get "Permission Denied"
8231 < duckgoose> please fix this
8232 <@kline> if you want kline i can give you kline
8233 <@kline> you might not like it though :^)
8235 < kd> well apparently there are child size body bags in the same product
8236 line that we sell if you can find the right cost centre
8237 < sungo> are those reusable? Because I'm not seeing the point otherwise
8239 <errietta> The 1915 Southern service to Tattenham Corner is being delayed
8240 <errietta> This is due to the train operator being a dumpster fire
8241 <errietta> Southern apologise for the delay this will cause to your journey
8243 < dha> I'll be stressing about Bad Movie Night until it's over and I
8244 haven't been arrested.
8245 <@gizmomathboy> we'll get bail money, don't worry
8246 <@alh> And then spend it on beer
8248 <@mst> the facepalm that does not involve picard is not the true facepalm
8249 < hobbs> \N{FACEPALM}\N{EMOJI MODIFIER STARFLEET
8250 UNIFORM}\N{VARIANT-RED}\N{EMOJI MODIFIER BALD}
8252 < macdice> i think i'm getting better at understanding postgres patches. the
8253 basic idea is: anything non trivial will interact with every other
8254 feature ever developed, so you just have to know them all inside
8255 out so you can figure out how each new patch is going to !@#$ us
8257 < thrig> the kleptomania of English is well known
8259 < quicksilver> INBOX ZERO!
8260 * quicksilver runs in circles whooping
8261 * quicksilver attracts raised eyebrows from other customers in train carriage
8263 < kentnl> vendor tooling is by necessity oriented around distrusting
8264 upstream did what they said they did properly.
8266 < Logos01> I feel like I just have to keep repeating variations on "I'm
8267 sorry but it is not possible for even *ME* to draw seven red
8268 lines, four in green ink, three transparent, with one in the
8271 < Popehat> Brain: Well if we're going to be on camera buy something
8272 tidy for lunch. That's a white shirt.
8273 < Popehat> Me: [buys soup]
8274 < Popehat> Brain: why am I even here
8276 < mst> baphomet is what your cart does to a baafmet
8278 < mst> fucking fingers
8279 < mauke> please use your typing fingers for IRC
8281 < Grinnz> do you guys not have a th sound?
8282 < huf_> we do, but we keep it in the safe and only take it out for
8283 christenings and funerals
8285 < huf_> subliminal messages infecting our children
8286 < mauke> like the wonder woman / bondage thing?
8287 < Grinnz> if they know what wank means already, i have bad news for you
8288 < Grinnz> they're probably british
8290 < choroba> "da vot tak" is hard to translate
8291 < choroba> it means something like "well, just because", but smells of vodka
8293 < mst> it would be nice to have a batteries included dist as well
8294 < xenu> windows users have strawberry perl which is just that
8295 < tm604> and linux users have red hat, which is much like strapping a car
8296 battery to parts of your anatomy
8298 < mst> given the number of people we share with #haskell, I guess it's
8299 appropriate we just turned into #curry
8300 < thrig> dessert monads
8301 < tm604> let's ask the lisp team over for some lambdhal
8303 < Grinnz> OH: 16:02:00 <Tansien> So the cat pushed my 20+ Kg UPS off the
8304 shelf, it broke the desk below it
8305 < Grinnz> 16:02:05 <Tansien> And also set a monitor on fire.
8306 < ttkp> level 20 cat
8308 <+nocaberi> That's not my connexion. It's my VPN.
8309 < grumble> but isnt a vpn a kind of connection too?
8310 <+Unit193> grumble: No, that is entirely lack of connection!
8311 <+Unit193> Note: I'm full of it.
8313 < quanticle> Lol. "The psychology of addition". Yes, you can add 2 and 2
8314 and get 4... but what effect does that have on the twos?
8315 What long term impact does it have on the 4 to know that it
8316 was result of 2 and 2, rather than 3 and 1?
8318 < tm604> Alien::libtermkey 0.17 does not appear to provide
8319 TERMKEY_TYPE_DCS, for example
8320 <@LeoNerd> Oh oops, did I forget to bump the alien?
8321 <@LeoNerd> .oO( That's almost tshirt-quote material )
8323 < mst> < markrofail> xocolatl: so you recommend manual insertion ?
8324 < mst> xocolatl: pass the KY
8326 < xocolatl> it's a digital world, after all
8328 < mst> I don't cheat, the people I'm sleeping with have all met and
8329 mostly tend to conspire against me
8330 < xenu> *everyone* conspire against me
8331 < mauke> xenu: I'm not going to sleep with you
8333 <@dha> GOOD CHRIST, HOW LONG HAVE I HAD OWNERSHIP OF THIS STUPID MODULE??
8335 < genehack> don't use your tee shirt powers for evil
8336 <@mst> Sufficiently Hilarious Evil is Indistinguishable from Humour
8337 < genehack> now trying to decide if sufficiently hilarious evil would be
8338 more of an aqueous humour or a vitreous humour
8340 < perigrin> booger it, I'm out of puns
8341 < ilmari> that's a bit on the nose
8342 < genehack> it's the bee's sneeze
8343 < Gronk> Need to build more puns... time to put the ol' factory to work
8345 < huf> now i kinda wanna see the movie JIRAssic park
8347 < LeoNerd> A true horror movie
8348 < CQ> "Keeping all the dangerous bugs in one place is not safe!"
8350 < mst> finding it in the wardrobe was not the problem
8351 < mst> remembering there were things in the wardrobe was the problem
8352 < NamedN> a sign above the radiator "you own a wardrobe"
8353 < Kassandry> "This is not just a portal to Narnia"
8355 <@BinGOs> and I have managed to install Variable::Magic into /
8356 < hobbs> extra magic
8357 <@BinGOs> sure I can have root, I is an expert
8359 < Grinnz> it depends on what the definition of "is" is
8360 < ningu> Grinnz: "Two experts, to explicate Meaning, / Wrote a book
8361 called The Meaning of Meaning. / But the world was perplexed! /
8362 So three experts wrote next / The Meaning of Meaning of Meaning."
8364 <@ether> rules of summer #1: whenever I clap a mosquito out of the air, a wing
8365 or leg always falls off. rules of summer #2: if I have a cup of
8366 coffee or plate of food nearby, said wing/leg always lands in it.
8369 * Mithaldu scrolls past some tweets and doesn't really notice content until
8370 he notices at the top of the screen is mst tweeting "clearly the solution
8371 is to have your nipples amputated before you give your next demo"
8372 < Mithaldu> business as usual
8374 < xenu> in xperl push() will be replaced with unpop()
8375 < Grinnz> or replace unshift() with ctrl()
8376 < mauke> my $foo = shift @a; my ($x, $y, $z) = capslock @a;
8377 < mauke> sub capslock :prototype(\@) { splice @{$_[0]} }
8379 <+Bock> mst, lagbox, anybody else awake: nickspam trouble in #systemd
8380 <+Unit193> Sounds like a channel issue?
8381 <+bazhang> systemd is everyone's problem
8383 (Players are trying to figure out how to get information from a wereshark)
8384 Fighter: What if we waterboard him?
8385 Bard: You can’t waterboard a wereshark.
8386 Fighter: You’re right, we need to airboard him.
8388 <@perigrin> So I was googling PiLFS and google happily presented me the
8389 "Princesses I'd like to Fuck" page ... to which Jamie said
8390 "is this you working?"
8392 < xenu> and make sure it works on windows!
8394 < Grinnz> it might work by accident on windows but i can't be held responsible
8397 < Fuchs> grilled furry
8399 < mst> (you may infer from this that I suck at unicode; your inference
8401 < adiabatic> Not sucking at unicode is hard. You might as well admit that
8402 you're crap at flying fighter jets.
8404 < Betawolf> "HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual
8405 infanticide." <- great, but in secret.
8407 < Grinnz> https://www.reddit.com/r/rubberducks/ I'm disappointed this
8408 isn't a subreddit where people go to post problems but you are
8409 only allowed to comment on your own posts
8415 < xocolatl> I pronounce it similar to "orifice"
8417 < Rosemary> I'm on a train. it was due in 18.51
8418 < Rosemary> it's delayed
8419 < Rosemary> WHAT CAN POSSIBLY
8421 < pol> I have 4 days stuck in Germany to brief somebody.
8422 < pol> Which was done by midday.
8423 < pol> He arrived at 11:20
8426 < kline> why did that kline come over as disconnected by services
8427 < kline> * ProblemChild has quit (Disconnected by services)
8428 < mniip> that's how that works
8429 < mniip> have you never klined kiwiirc or something
8431 <errietta> "must be privileged to use -u"
8433 <errietta> i'm white
8435 And yes, a large part of this may be that I no longer feel like I can
8436 trust "init" to do the sane thing. You all presumably know why.
8437 - Linus Torvalds, in https://lkml.org/lkml/2017/7/6/577
8439 <NamedN> pun of the day: Why do Swedish warships have bar codes on the sides?
8440 <NamedN> So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
8442 <@sungo> there's some platonic ideal of batshit crazy systems management
8443 stuff that systemd and osx are both a shadow of
8445 < emerson> i saw fursuit and thought it was a type of lawsuit at first
8447 < mst> he'd decided I was satan and stopped speaking to me by that point
8448 < Altreus> this many people can't be wrong
8449 < huf> ah, so that's what the s stands for
8453 * kd finds an unless elsif block
8455 < mst> Mithaldu comes back just after George Romero dies ... claims he
8456 wasn't dead, just had painful hands
8458 < Mithaldu> look blood isn't THAT hard to clean off
8460 < christel> i flew to tijuana once to go to a donkey show
8461 < christel> only i thought it would be some sort of animals got talent thing
8462 < christel> ... it was not
8464 <scrottie> I don't appreciate being in the position where I'm the one who has
8465 to murder you to keep this code from escaping into the world.
8466 <scrottie> do you know how much plane tickets even cost? and I haven't even
8467 thought of an alibi.
8469 < Dorward> I'd managed to leave the pool noodles at home
8470 < Dorward> And there wasn't room in the car for Dave the Squid
8472 <errietta> sometimes when you dig you find gold
8473 <errietta> soemmetimes you find.. well, html stored in the database
8475 <+Bock> mst, sounds like you might have a really bright boy on your
8476 hands. It's been my personal experience that management tends not
8477 to know its ass from its elbow.
8478 <+spb> brb, wiping my elbow
8483 * rud0lf the red-nosed reindeer
8485 <@mako132> "Introduction to the Challenges and Opportunities of Big Data,
8486 the Internet of Things, and Cybersecurity" # students must be
8487 able to wave both hands vigorously
8490 < rysiek|pl> ...worked.
8491 < rysiek|pl> I feel empty inside
8493 < anno> cmp sorts by code point
8494 < Botje> does the poop emoji come before or after the eggplant?
8495 < mst> Botje: generally it's best to poop before anal
8496 < huf> this reminds me of the time i mistook "unaltered" for "anal turd"
8498 * TBSliver pushes Finn off a perl cliff
8499 * TBSliver may not have checked the length of rope he tied to Finn's legs.
8500 Nor if he tied off the other end. oh well
8501 < errietta> ah the shadowcat training process, i remember it well :D
8503 < Su-Shee> so next week you ask where's X and then he did flubbelwupp instead.
8504 < Su-Shee> nobody needs flubbelwupp, of course and certainly not with
8505 garmelbargh. but garmelbagh does what he thinks he needs so
8506 it's piled on top of everything
8508 < triddle-work> that's not the way one would expect systemd to break netflix
8510 <errietta> i should try couch to 5k again,
8511 <errietta> i have pants now
8513 < nebulous> Is there a reason why the session cookie _should_ be set on
8515 < hobbs> so that the expiration is refreshed after each request
8516 < nebulous> My face thanks you for the palm installation, hobbs.
8519 < Obormot> (didn't notice finger was bleeding, got blood over half my
8522 < triddle> I'm not really comfortable with all the AI going on these days
8523 < triddle> it's powerful spooooooky shit
8524 < Kassandry> Don't worry, it'll all be running systemd and won't boot
8525 right most of the time.
8527 < kian> At some point you're going to fuck it.
8528 < kian> fuck up even.
8529 < kian> Please don't fuck your software.
8530 < Edmund> Then why did 5 1/4" disks have holes in the middle?
8532 <@gwern> imagine there's no ASLR above you / below you only stack /
8533 imagine the OS computing something new / it's easy with an
8534 attack / you may say I'm a hacker / but I'm not the only one
8536 < quicksilver> the tab consuming most of the CPU is : "How to identify
8537 which Chrome tabs are wasting CPU"
8539 < ningu> I met a girl once who said she was from Brest. I said, you mean
8540 Brest-Litovsk? she said, "no, the other one. there are two Brests"
8542 < xenu> donald tusk and kaczynski (duckman) are the two most famous
8544 < xenu> actually three but one of kaczynskis was murdered by putin
8545 < xenu> thank god we had a backup
8547 < Obormot> Have you considered never interacting with another human again
8548 < Obormot> Sounds like it might be an improvement :p
8550 < quanticle> gwern: Thank you for retweeting @AHistoryOfPaint. My Twitter
8551 timeline is now at least 500% more aesthetically pleasing.
8553 <@cat-xeger> -mutter- I _so_ love it when I make the exact same mistake
8554 multiple times in a row ...
8555 <@mst> practice makes perfect
8556 <@cat-xeger> come over here... let me stab you with my lovely needle ...
8558 <+mst> bazhang: "turn it off and on again, harder"
8559 < MetaNova> do it once more, but this time, with _character_
8560 <+mst> [utf8 decoding error at line 1]
8561 < MetaNova> I ? unicode
8563 < thrig> note: not portable to tcsh
8564 < mst> people using csh deserve to suffer
8565 < thrig> all lfs is suffering
8566 < thrig> now we medidate: om mani facepalmmmmm
8568 <@sungo> cpan has the same issue. cpantesters has it by the fuckton. what
8569 does 'make test' do that everyone runs blindly?
8570 <@genehack> ah but there i've gotten drunk with the people exfiltrating
8573 < triddle> I should just get a pet yak and learn to use a straight razor
8575 < Logos01> I would really like to know what the fuck happened to the times
8576 when computers actually only did what you tell them to do.
8578 < xenu> mst: please stop spreading lies about me
8579 < huf> but the truth is even worse...
8581 <@genehack> this is like a whole clowncar full of clownshoes was driven
8582 in and just exploded
8583 <@perigrin> it's all shit and very little show.
8585 < Urchin> all fluids used in military hardware in Russia that contain alcohol
8586 must be safe to drink, they tried to discourage drinking alcohol by
8587 introducing poison in them, but they found that they simply
8588 uselessly poisoned their own men, so gave up on the practice
8590 < ology> The most popular language in programming is Profanity
8592 < ology> Heh. Questionable spotted in our source code: my %params = @_[
8593 -( $#_ & 0b11111110 ) .. -1 ]; # get even number of array
8594 elements from the rear to populate hash
8595 < Grinnz> found the assembly programmer
8597 < huf> the web is a posterchild for a situation where unexpected data can't
8598 ever get into unexpected places - it deals with well defined,
8599 unchanging apis and clients, everyone is highly competent, etc
8600 < huf> it's also not user-facing in any way so we're all safe
8602 <@ether> it's been non-stop screaming of KHAAAAN over here
8604 <errietta> colleague: sub soandso has 12 positional parameters
8606 <errietta> me: right, excuse me for a second
8607 <errietta> me: *bangs head against wall 12 times*
8609 < sungo> is there a gang sign for ibuprofen?
8610 < pirateFinn> they were probably too hungover to make one.
8612 <mst> you're confusing 'humans' and 'people who actually read the rest
8613 before mashing reply and yelling'
8614 <simon> the internet was a mistake
8617 <me> but but but but but but *argh*
8618 <them> congratulations. You have just duplicated the contents of the bug
8619 ticket I just filed.
8621 < perigrin> mst: I'm just happy I reached for /quit rather than /kill
8622 < perigrin> er /kick rather than /kill
8623 -!- perigrin [Perigrin@damn.fool.took] has quit [Quit: would have also
8624 fixed *my* problem but caused others]
8626 < mst> I think we're at http://trout.me.uk/data.jpg until you elucidate :D
8627 < alh> I... I need sleep
8628 < alh> I stared way too long at that photo waiting for it to finish loading :(
8630 < pink_mist> skirmisha: FOR FUCKS SAKE I GAVE YOU CODE THAT DIDN'T
8631 FUCKING HAVE ! IN IT YOU NITWIT
8632 < genio> look what you've done. you've gone and casted pink_mist to mst
8634 < mst> we still aten't dead yet
8635 < perigrin> despite our best efforts
8636 < alh> Almost got him that one time but he escaped with a broken hip.
8639 < sungo> \o/ car title arrived
8640 < triddle-work> \o/ that's awesome
8641 < triddle-work> I got mine a few months ago, I should have got a cake
8642 < sungo> this of course is when a metorite will destroy it in the garage
8644 < mdk> Well Slack has its charms... nope, nope, it is just an
8645 over-engineered playground with expensive ice-creams, I'm only
8646 tolerating Telegram because opening the fucker doesn't kill a
8647 browser if you have +10 channels
8649 <@gwern> as typical with javascript, the explanation just makes me feel
8650 more disgusted; I prefer Haskell, where the bizarre magical
8651 snippets make me feel dumb instead
8653 < tm604> if you happen by chance to get two perl programmers to agree on
8654 something, there's a strong chance that one of them is already
8655 halfway through rewriting it or learning Forth instead
8657 <@sungo> my hairbrush is a gillette mach turbo
8659 < blkshp> mst: you're joking (presumes you're joking but wouldnt be the
8661 < blkshp> oh god. you're not joking
8663 < lucidian> I figured out what to name a second cat if I ever get one
8664 < lucidian> I mean if I ever get two cats at once
8665 < lucidian> if I do I will name them Clawed Shannon and Alan Purring
8667 <@perigrin> kill "In summation, you" just start that sentance with "Give"
8669 <@perigrin> that too
8670 <@sungo> yes. listen to the guy who can't spell sentence. LISTEN TO HIM GUD
8672 < _sfiguser> guys what's the advantage of using a "command" design pattern
8673 instead of simply putting a setter method in the receiving class?
8674 < mst> http://trout.me.uk/vaguecat.jpg
8675 < thrig> gang of four vague cats?
8677 < lucidian> I walked around preaching the gospel of solipsism, and the
8678 problem of induction, and Cartesian doubt
8679 < lucidian> I was Annoying Epistemology Girl in high school
8680 < lucidian> I had a shirt that said "OBJECTIVITY IS A LIE"
8682 < Obormot> mst: It's a technical term, of course. A well-defined point on
8683 the design failure continuum: "kinda weird, lol" - "wtf..." -
8684 "super fucky" - "holy fucking shit what even is" - "my
8685 computer literally exploded and I am dying, call 911"
8687 < ilmari> Getty: this script suppresses the highlight if the line
8688 mentions more than three nicks in the channel
8689 < ilmari> for configurable values of three
8691 <@gwern> if I expected to live another two centuries, life would still
8692 not be long enough to make it worth setting up a hidden server
8695 * perigrin wants a scottish version of git: git push -fu origin HEED
8697 < antoinesss> someone can help me with fork?
8698 < mst> if you put the pointy parts into the food and keep the smooth part
8699 in your hand you'll find it's a lot less painful
8700 < thrig> well sporken
8703 <Soltis> Someone put a duplicate-named sub in a duplicate-named package
8704 in a totally different file
8705 <Soltis> Whatever I did to anger the gods of computing, I hope it was worth it
8707 < masochist> is there a viable point between open plan hell and cubicle hell?
8708 < errietta> remote working hell!
8709 < errietta> I'd never leave the house and my depression's depression's
8710 depression would get depression, but it works for some people :p
8712 < perigrin> triddle-work: SGML is old as shit
8713 < perigrin> XML isn't quite
8714 < triddle-work> I thought xml and html were equiold
8715 < Kassandry> They're both equoids, yes.
8717 * gordonfish wonders how hard it is to evade a flying roast
8718 < anno> african or european?
8719 < thrig> that's hard to swallow
8721 < Obormot> How hard is it to launch a website, anyway
8722 < mst> depends on the mass of the website and how far you're launching it
8723 < Obormot> This is one of the most apt applications of "it's not rocket
8724 science" I can think of
8726 < mohawk> as in, white-cat-stroking levels of disappointed?
8727 < mohawk> "mr bigglesworth doesn't like mutations"
8728 < mohawk> "they make him mad"
8729 < mohawk> "and when mr bigglesworth gets mad - PEOPLE DIE"
8731 < genio> Could Apple have picked a more generic name than "Secure Transport"?
8733 <@perigrin> there are several whole commit messages from stevan they
8736 * mako132 grumbles about being told by finance that the numbers he
8737 pulled out of his ass didn't have enough shit on them
8739 < mudkip> "Dear user may we have your soul?"
8740 < mudkip> "Yes Microsoft sheesh stop asking."
8742 <@perigrin> "you can have a three car garage or a living room, your choice"
8743 * cat-xeger 'd be very tempted to go with the three car garage
8744 <@perigrin> I like having a room that we decorate once, keep dust free,
8745 and then never touch unless the FBI comes over.
8747 < alh> HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA. *Looks outside, finds dollar bills on
8750 <@Zefram> it only *looks* like a package-qualified sub reference
8753 * DrHyde sets everything on fire, goes for a drink
8755 < bigpresh> A former nightclub near me is now a soft play centre - it
8756 somewhat amuses us that some of the children playing in there
8757 were probably also conceived in there
8759 < ningu> it's pointers all the way down, until you get to the terriers
8761 * mst crushes a babelrc on his forehead
8762 <mohawk> #BrogrammingThugLife
8763 <mohawk> is there a pure-functional-brogramming community?
8764 <mohawk> "side-effect free like a pr0n star!!11"
8766 < Grinnz> yes, versions aren't numbers
8767 < Grinnz> stop numifying versions
8768 < xenu> Grinnz: overloading numification to an exception is insane
8769 < Grinnz> no, it's the only way to stop people like you
8771 < Logos01> I have to figure out how long is the right amount of time to
8772 wait before getting a kitten.
8773 < Logos01> (I only have one cat now. I've always believed that's asking for
8774 trouble. You need two so they play their villainy off one another.)
8776 < quanticle> Man, at least when my parakeet died, it was quick.
8777 Literally, heard a small thud, looked over, and there he
8778 was, pining for the fjords.
8780 < ChoHag> "With alcohol or without alcohol?"!?!
8781 < ChoHag> What kind of stupid question is that for a waiter to ask?
8783 < ct> Wanting SystemD because sysadmin becomes easier in edge cases is
8784 like wanting chemotherapy because you're tired of getting haircuts
8786 < mst> FORTH LOVE? IF HONK THEN
8788 < kbk> FORTH LOVE? IF HONK ELSE FORTH LEARN THEN
8790 < errietta> i got an s7 edge
8791 < errietta> i should get a case for it
8792 < errietta> it would be quite the edge case
8794 <@mst> I thought etherium had only hard-forked once
8795 <@sungo> they've done it a few times since
8796 <@sungo> it's sort of like blowing up the enterprise. once you've done it
8797 a couple of times it just seems like the answer to everything
8799 < Mithaldu> at least he didn't complain about his characters copyright
8800 being violated because someone else drew his fursona
8802 <Soltis> I already said it once, as a guideline, but now I'm going to
8803 make an absolute rule: "come to me, personally, if you touch
8804 anything relating to @areas or I'm going to entomb you in salt"
8806 <mst> the only thing twitter ever seems to successfully do in 'mass' form
8807 is 'cause collateral damage'
8808 <rabcyr> well it is american
8810 < daniel__> Hello all!
8811 < integral> hello__ daniel
8813 * GumbyPAN CPAN Upload: Markdent-0.27 by DROLSKY
8814 https://metacpan.org/release/DROLSKY/Markdent-0.27
8815 < ology> Next: Arthurdent
8817 < Mithaldu> also now i'm unsure whether EKOSTALA is "error kostala" or an
8818 abbreviation of your name. i guess it can be both
8819 < errietta> definitely error kostala
8820 < errietta> i have a love hate relationship with the word 'errata'
8822 < huf> the only way i can make _any_ sense of that is to pretend you'd
8823 written "cum" instead of "mysql"
8825 <kbk> Trailing whitespace is wrong. Sporadic commits that fix trailing
8826 whitespace that's already there are worse.
8827 <stu> From now on, I'm adding one trailing whitespace char to every commit.
8829 < pstef> To be precise, what I have in mind involves a function to
8830 rebuild the table, so the use of it is similar to use of a
8831 matview. REFRESH MATERIALIZED VIEW ...; vs SELECT rebuild_view();
8832 < pstef> Which is easy to get almost correct, so perhaps don't.
8834 <@cat-xeger> That was way funnier when I thought you were trying to sort
8837 If you’re crazy and you know it, self-aware!
8838 If you’re crazy and you know it, self-aware!
8839 It’s chic to be insane, just go meta with your brain
8840 If you’re crazy and you know it, self-aware!
8842 < errietta> I ended up replacing it with linux
8843 < errietta> no cortana there
8844 < sungo> just systemd
8845 < sungo> I prefer cortana
8847 < Ralith> #lesswrong, or #allyouneverwantedtoknowaboutfinland
8848 < RiversHaveWings> my favorite "in finland" was when someone was talking about
8849 rising sea levels and kuudes just went "in finland, the sea
8850 level is falling due to post-glacial rebound"
8852 < rightfold> DNS is just naming things and cache invalidation, it can’t be
8855 < errietta> mst: you're alive?
8856 < mst> errietta: BRAAAAAAAINS
8857 < errietta> close enough
8859 <@mako132> the light at the end of the budget planning tunnel turns out
8860 to be a vary large and angry glow worm
8862 < jsuntheimer72> If god used Tcl, it would have taken him 2 days.
8863 < jsuntheimer72> And the earth was without form, and void, and God said
8864 "pack .", and it was good.
8866 <@alh> I've stayed in a hotel with you 5 times and nothing's happened
8868 <@rjbs> alh: you're a heavy sleeper
8871 < TBSliver> you can replicate mysql databases! and when you break the
8872 two servers you get to keep all 6 halves
8874 17:06 < mst> > could not read relation mapping file
8875 "base/16386/pg_filenode.map": No such file or directory
8876 17:06 < mst> it's dead, Jim.
8877 19:20 < jim> mst, the deadness of jim has been greatly exaggerated!
8879 <errietta> Where does a mansplainer get his water from?
8880 <errietta> From a well, actually
8882 < incurian> also i think it's possible we were all too hard on icp. i
8883 don't have a fucking clue how magnets work
8885 < skaufman> best code is deleted code
8886 < skaufman> well unless you're importing leftpad
8888 < jsuntheimer72> Kids today have Google Home and IFTTT so they can can
8889 shout repeatedly instead of reaching for things.
8890 Ironically, this is why I had kids. Circle of life.
8892 <@gwern> 'how do you know a finn is extroverted?' 'he's using *your*
8893 phone's hotspot to watch a movie'
8895 < ilmari> I have a branch to allow arrayrefrefs in the from list (for SRFs),
8896 but I'll hang fire merging until we've discussed design a bit more
8897 < ilmari> (table-arrayrefrefe)
8898 < ilmari> s/fe/f/ # a bit of a covfefe moment there
8900 < Ricaz> So I have another question that might get you guys excited
8901 < mst> excitement is overrated
8902 < mst> it gives me a pain in the diodes down my left hand side
8903 * ilmari shivers in antici…
8905 < rsaarelm> I'm still stuck in the oldfashioned mindset where the links
8906 people may not necessarily want to click at work are
8907 something like HD videos of a Japanese woman defecating live
8908 baby eels into the mouth of another Japanese woman.
8910 < xenu> one day i'll quit and you all will be sorry
8911 < mst> xenu: that we didn't convince you to do so sooner
8912 < huf> no seriously why are you trying to drive him away
8913 < huf> you should strive to keep him around so we can belittle him more
8915 < Logos01> kiba: Does this make sense?
8919 < xenu> ok, i will help you guys
8920 < xenu> you're both wrong
8923 < Zr40> "This innovative layout allows the two signal wires to run parallel,
8924 compared to the standard twisted-pair configuration, shortening the
8925 signal path and drastically increasing transfer speeds."
8926 < Zr40> that's... not how any of this works
8928 < TimToady> we really should do socket autodetection on every passed in fd
8929 < TimToady> *passed-in
8930 * TimToady now pictures a passed-out socket...
8932 < integral> if you turn on -j4, you can get 4 segfaults at once!
8935 <errietta> i dropped my tiny christmas tree and it completely broke
8937 <errietta> i guess that's the universe telling me it's february
8939 <stevied> perhaps. but i gotta crawl before I can walk.
8940 <mst> currently you seem to be taking a running leap off somebody else's cliff
8941 <stevied> well, i'll learn more about gravity that way.
8944 <@hobbs> but WsprryPi calls itself a *bareback* WSPR transmitter
8946 <@hobbs> although I guess if that causes concern, most non-Japanese
8947 condoms will probably fit a Pi Zero.
8949 <@hobbs> status of my package has changed to "the item is currently in
8950 transit to the destination"
8951 <@hobbs> which means "we haven't scanned it any time lately"
8952 <@ct> Status: Many Bothans have died.
8954 * mako132 flips through this PCI Compliance book
8955 <@mako132> I'll never have insomnia again \o/
8957 < xenu> the last time this channel has seen such a pointless discussion
8958 < xenu> was earlier today
8960 < shmem> xenu, do you see a discussion? I don't
8962 < triddle-work> humans! how did I get dependencies on them in my system
8964 * naptastic rolls his eyes
8965 < purl> You rolled a 10, naptastic
8966 < naptastic> n...no.
8967 -!- naptastic [~david@2620:0:28a2:4010:e475:84d8:56f1:1407] has quit
8969 < sobel> tl/dr: i wanted a glass of wine more than responsibility
8971 < triddle-work> the document says all confidential information has to be
8972 destroyed beyond recovery
8973 < triddle-work> that is such a bullshit metric
8974 < sungo> but it gives you the ability to expense thermite
8976 < triddle> sudo su - <user to troubleshoot> # nein
8979 < mst> yes, you'll get about one nein of reliability that way, I'm sure
8981 < NamedN> i suspect the point at which i'm trying to css the wall is the
8982 time to stop web design :P
8984 In American English, the term pantyhose generally refers to
8985 hosiery traditionally worn by women since their introduction
8986 in 1959, however some manufacturers also produce pantyhose for
8987 men, or, colloquially, mantyhose, brosiery, or guylons.
8989 < sungo> because of course I had to make jerkcity.wang a thing if I could
8990 < mst> I was more expecting you to buy micro.wang tbh
8991 < sungo> mst: it's too long of a domain name to reflect its content
8992 < nrr> mst: not enough HULAGLUHALGAGLAG
8994 Q: How do you tell the difference between a dad joke and a mom joke?
8995 A: Dad jokes end with an exclamation mark -- ! -- whereas mom jokes end
8998 < thrig> ah geez this nagios configuration involves procmail
9000 <@davel> in-house pre-DBIC ORMs--
9001 <@DrHyde> davel: in-house post-DBIC ORMs are more exciting!
9002 <@DrHyde> (i cleansed it with fire, and defaced its monuments, and salted
9005 < simcop2387> I think I have a problem. I just made multiple Lisp jokes
9006 at someone, and am still convinced they were funny.
9008 <@tomboh> today I've been thinking about catering at CDN conferences
9009 <@tomboh> I wonder how many bites they serve
9011 * LeoNerd pictures the tabloid headlines; PEVANS gives head to Perl
9013 < sungo> you can find javascript devs on the friggen street corner. Hold
9014 up a sign that reads "HIRING NODE.JS DEVS" and bring a panel van
9015 < sungo> your call on whether you interview them or bury their bodies in
9019 <@alh> rjbs | sorry, karen
9020 <@alh> ether: You're famous.
9022 < Su-Shee> well I killed my first server today or rather me and my developer.
9023 < Grinnz> you killed you and your developer?
9024 < thrig> 50 shades of reiserfs
9026 <@ether> the voices in my head are hoarse from shouting KHAN
9028 <jessesingal> Not to brag, but people have told me I'm really good at talking
9029 about how good a listener I am.
9031 < Obormot> "the rationality community, a side effect of Eliezer Yudkowsky"
9032 < mst> well, we're certainly not functional
9033 <@gwern> * application of Eliezer Yudkowsky has not been evaluated or
9036 < xenu> i don't recommend cygwin *because* mst is using it
9038 * errietta puts insanity up on github \o/
9039 < sungo> deviantart for software people, github is
9041 < errietta> there's good stuff on deviantart
9043 <@alh> I can't grow facial hair for shit but what I have is already
9044 massively turning white apparently o_O
9045 <@alh> "Distinguished Molester" upgrade
9047 < Su-Shee> sqlite: db for the handbag. postgres: representative db for
9048 the main wall in the living room. mysql: I don't have any
9049 accessoire going with that.
9051 < huf> the ideal UI should change as quickly as the knife has
9052 < thrig> "what do these three vertical dots on the knife do?" "oh that's
9053 where we hide the prefs or other random things"
9054 < huf> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
9056 <Soltis> Just the fact that I understand what you're talking about -
9057 mostly - makes me feel a little uncomfortable.
9058 <Soltis> Mostly for the same reason I avoid motorcycles
9059 <Soltis> I'd have WAY TOO MUCH FUN and someone would die.
9061 < Grinnz> its kind of funny. all of this craziness stems from the fact
9062 that enough of the world uses UTF-8, but not enough of the
9065 < sobel> aaaand fucking hell, i can't get jdbc to stop eating the whole budgie
9067 < mst> apparently I successfully made myself a pot of hot water
9068 * mst tries again, this time with some actual coffee in the fucking machine
9069 < Dorward> Graham still wins. "I've had too much coffee today." (puts mug
9070 in vending machine, covers his teabag in espresso).
9072 < simcop2387> If a man lays with a man he should be stoned. Therefore, with
9073 legal marriage between two men, we must also legalize pot.
9075 < quanticle> God, every time I have to write more than one line of bash,
9077 < quanticle> Conversely, every time I have to write less than 5 lines of
9078 Powershell, I miss bash.
9080 <hypnotoad> My timeline for rewriting the folk fest registration system was
9081 moved up to "RIGHT NOW" after an unfortunate "Linode manager
9082 reformatted not only the image I intended but all of the images
9083 including my backups"
9085 < timotimo> you just $the_block($/)
9086 < timotimo> or $the_block($arse-result) or whatever you call it
9087 < mst> timotimo: Error: undefined buttock at line 1
9090 <@alh> "Since you are traveling as an unaccompanied minor, you'll need to
9091 check in at the airport.
9092 <@alh> That was on mobile. Worked fine on desktop. Riiiiiiiiiight
9093 <@alh> Also fuck you mst (pre-emptive)
9095 < pooryorick> For the sake of this discussion, I'm willing to hypothesize
9098 < mdk> How do you know it is a dangerous dog? Well if it has small piggy
9099 eyes and a low sloping forehead the dog it owns will be dangerous.
9101 <Kassandry> You let me know about an important demo. Awesome. Here's a
9102 nice carrot, client. That's a good client. *pets*
9104 < quicksilver> the great thing about hiring a mind controlling lizard
9105 < quicksilver> is that you never regret it
9106 < quicksilver> they don't let you
9108 < ilmari> I start food-related typos when I'm hungry
9109 < ilmari> e.g. meta -> meat
9110 < ilmari> make meatfile
9112 < LeoNerd> Ohyes, that dual-use 'U-as-consonant'
9113 < LeoNerd> use, ewes, yous
9114 < LeoNerd> .. go home English, to all your various
9115 geographically-distinct homes
9117 <@sungo> my meditation center is on par with that, cost wise, but is a lot
9118 better. It's called The Absinthe Center For Wellness And Forgetting
9120 < talexb> And they're interchangeable anyway. 4 x 2 is the same as 2 x 4.
9121 < mst> talexb: only if you rotate the wood 90 degrees
9122 < anno> eval: [4 x 2, 2 x 4]
9123 < perlbot> anno: [44,2222]
9125 < kd> still haven't managed to get to nailing my foreskin to a plank of wood
9126 writing a bunch of xml and there's only 50 minutes left of the morning
9127 < ether> kd: I resent the fact that you made me think about your foreskin
9128 < ether> but one more item checked off my bucket list, I guess...
9130 < Dorward> Someone just phoned me about the accident in which I was innocent.
9131 < Dorward> They hung up after I told them I wasn't even flying the helicopter
9132 and my **** was sliced clean off.
9134 < sungo> sometimes my brain refuses to see the stupid thing in front of it
9135 < mst> that happens to me a lot
9136 < mst> especially when looking in mirrors
9137 < sungo> thought i was just a vampire
9139 < mst> I've done telesales to make rent back in the dim and distant past
9141 < huf> well this is an interesting thing to imagine. and how did that go?
9142 < huf> BUY THIS FUCKING PRODUCT YOU ABSOLUTE WANKER I'M TELLING YOU IT'S GREAT
9144 <@gwern> I suppose the average occupation in SF would be a marijuana
9145 farmer whose plants have been bred to secrete HTML
9147 <glyph> If the answer to the question "why do you need to use a jackhammer?"
9148 is "to knock my grandmother's head off to let out the evil spirits
9149 that gave her cancer", then maybe the problem is actually unrelated
9152 < MasterDuke> how do it tell if a routine gets inlined?
9153 < mst> smash the stack in the body and read the backtrace?
9154 < jnthn> MasterDuke: --profile and look at the call stack tab
9155 < MasterDuke> jnthn++, mst--
9157 < dngor> Professor Xavier's all "I'm helping mutants and humans live
9158 together in harmony" but he's got a big enough ego to name the X
9159 gene and X-Men after himself. Makes me wonder what's really
9160 going on inside his noggin.
9162 < Logos01> To be fair, pedestrian and Arizona go together like peanut butter
9163 and global thermonuclear warfare.
9165 * nickb is hated at $work for going "sssssss" after someone says Postgre
9166 * rightfold had an intern who said “Postgr”
9167 < depesz> when's the funeral?
9169 > > > > you’re all wrong, negative numbers don’t exist
9170 > > > I suppose that’s a natural assumption to make.
9171 > > proposal: the integers should be renamed the unnatural numbers
9172 > The proposal goes unsigned.
9174 <NamedN> me: are you available Sunday 8th April?
9175 <NamedN> them: is that a sunday?
9176 <mst> ... ... ... ...
9177 * NamedN gives up on humanity
9179 < ChoHag> I confess I stopped paying attention to Debian politics long ago.
9180 < ChoHag> In fact exactly the time they decided systemd was good for anything
9181 other than pissing on.
9183 < xenu> openbsd devs are insane
9184 < ChoHag> They're hilarious.
9185 < ChoHag> They're like those tiny angry dogs with the bark you can hear a
9188 < ChoHag> Why fit a firewall rule into 1 line when a dozen will do?
9189 < ilmari> or a five-key JSON object :)
9190 < ilmari> (which it what you need for a security group ingress or egress rule)
9191 < ilmari> for approximate values of five...
9193 <errietta> > try to say i don't get any calls
9194 <errietta> > call drops
9195 <errietta> > i get connected again later
9196 <errietta> > CS: we tried calling you, it goes straight to voice mail
9198 < triddle-work> "As SWAT officers approached, he detonated a bomb in the
9199 vehicle, killing himself and injuring one of them,
9200 provoking another to fire upon the vehicle."
9201 < triddle-work> yes, shoot the explosion, that will stop it
9203 < rud0lf> roses are red, violets are blue, '}' expected, at line 22
9205 < ether> FFS people - the possessive is "its". "it's" means "it is". COME ON.
9206 < mst> no, no, no, an apostrophe means OH SHIT LOOK OUT HERE COMES AN S
9207 < ether> I don't, I can't, I won't, accept that
9209 < mst> americans look at me like I've grown a second head when I explain
9210 I don't have a driving license
9211 < Burnin8> "Oh, I'm sorry, how's your recovery? Still attending meetings?"
9213 < Obormot> Why the fuck do I have to write basic goddamn math algorithms
9214 myself in this, the Year of Our Lord [CURRENT_YEAR]
9215 <@gwern> the good news is that Obormot is now qualified to write a Bitcoin
9218 < mst> in the traditional theme of "inappropriate backronyms are easier
9219 to remember", "women give head often"
9220 < Zr40> I'm sure a subset of them do
9221 < rightfold> As do a sub set
9223 < mst> it's raining on my screen
9225 < errietta> rain and screen usually not ideal
9226 < kd> rain and tmux much less likely to enter catastrophic failure mode
9228 < nrr> dick ghosts, ghost dicks, etc.
9229 < nrr> it's been one of those tuesdays.
9231 < sungo> it feels like an awful amount of code and work for what should
9233 < mst> sungo: you could say the same thing about your entire life.
9234 < sungo> mst: well, yes
9236 < AdrianO> "Now with 5% more tarantulas!" is another phrase which is
9237 probably not going to catch on.
9239 < TBSliver> Check dreamboat too
9240 < TBSliver> Dreamhost
9241 < TBSliver> Fucking autocockwreck
9243 < xocolatl> seems they can't figure out the difference between a normal
9244 function and an aggregate, but they're an expert in monads. okay
9245 < sobel> they win the award for most-baffling combination of knowledge
9248 <seananmcguire> They are wrong.
9249 <seananmcguire> Fanfic is beautiful.
9250 <seananmcguire> Writing fanfic teaches you important storytelling skills.
9251 <seananmcguire> I have a funnel and access to wasps.
9253 <stevel> I identify as an Olympic athlete
9254 <stevel> in the sport of Power Sitting
9255 <stevel> I do think they should start combining Olympic sports
9256 .... starting with archery and synchronized swimming
9258 16:57 * errietta has cadbury's chocolate eggs
9259 16:57 * errietta will not eat all of them in one go
9260 17:02 * errietta has no more chocolate eggs
9261 17:02 * errietta tried..
9263 < Obormot\Sirius> So here's my recipe for bird's milk cake:
9264 < Obormot\Sirius> Don't do what I did
9266 -!- mode/#afp [+o Kincaid] by ccooke
9268 <@Kincaid> ooohhhh..... I feel all tingly
9269 <@Kincaid> oh, wait, I was sat on my leg
9271 < integral> \&CORE::require = sub { if ($_[0] =~ /^Moose/) { warn "Please
9272 wait while Moose is loaded...\n" } CORE::require(@_) }
9274 < tpanarch1st> mst: no, i've been around a long time, i've quietly put up with
9275 a lot with faith, now i have none in how the network is managed
9276 <@mst> tpanarch1st: I find your lack of faith disturbing
9277 < uplime> you don't know the power of the staff side
9279 < LeoNerd> so I have to make clean; make all and that takes an hooooour
9280 < tom_m> this sounds like a task for The Cloud
9281 < tom_m> by the time you're back from makerlab, a new an exciting
9282 replacement build error will be waiting for you
9284 <Kassandry> Open fridge. Cat hops in fridge. wtf
9285 * Kassandry now has a cold pussy looking betrayed
9287 < frew> don't ever try to justify not writing a parser to me
9288 < frew> I hate writing parsers
9289 < frew> it's such thankless, fiddly work
9290 < frew> even with ingy literally next to you
9292 <@saturn2> in the universal stupid vs. evil dichotomy, ethereum is the
9293 stupid version and urbit is the evil version of the same thing
9294 < miroc> saturn2: where's the smart version?
9295 <@saturn2> miroc: you were born on the wrong planet for that, buddy
9297 < LeoNerd> use bass::slap;
9299 < LeoNerd> Oh,.. that's bass. not bass
9300 < LeoNerd> See they're pronounced totally differently
9302 < xenu> fun fact: the original purpose of Dist::Zilla was to serve as a
9303 stress test for cpan clients, module authoring functionality was
9306 < masochist> inside every pessimist is a disappointed idealist
9307 < perigrin> inside every cannibal is a failed marathon runner.
9309 < pol> Once upon a time I had ops on Undernet
9310 < pol> Before they put sanity filtering on G-lines
9311 < pol> G-lining aol.com was not a *huge* issue
9312 < pol> G-lining .com on the other hand....
9314 <Kassandry> Also, just tried some Spicy Starbursts. Not spicy, and the
9315 flavors are just horrible. I'm sure the recipe came from
9316 1930's Germany. Eat more of the starbursts or get in the
9317 freezing water. Your choice. *pause* *splash*
9319 < foldr`> And the FDW schema should be BCNF
9320 < foldr`> .oO(MongoDB databases are in Boycott Normal Form)
9322 -!- mode/#slatestarcodex [+ooo Bakkot quanticle incurian] by ChanServ
9323 < mst> a whole array of new operators
9324 <@Bakkot> mst: operator overloading
9325 <@quanticle> I was waiting for that joke.
9327 < El_Che> mst asks to post the code because it's easier to help you that
9328 way (and because something died in him after the 10,000th time
9329 he tried to help without code)
9331 < sungo> my life would be very different if I were capable of caring
9332 about soemthing even half as much as you all care about star trek
9335 < masochist> errietta: I told you before, use lube
9336 * Kassandry hyposprays errietta
9338 < rightfold> It’s one of those things that aren’t fun but you can’t do
9339 anything about them. Like JavaScript, or the heat death of
9342 < quicksilver> do you mean that her imposter syndrome has imposter syndrome
9343 < quicksilver> "I'm not even a real syndrome"
9345 < quicksilver> impostception
9347 < Obormot\Sirius> Also, note that GW now has an additional theme available
9348 < Obormot\Sirius> So if anyone here hates all six themes we had before
9349 < Obormot\Sirius> Now you have a seventh theme to hate
9351 < mst> wait, you think any of us were trying to help?
9352 < mst> that's ADORABLE
9353 < sungo> ok. let me rephrase
9354 < sungo> mst, masochist: shut the living fuck up.
9356 <@ether> I can see lots of exceptions immediately :(
9357 <@ether> #itscomplicated
9358 < Grinnz> also written as #toolchain
9360 < Julia> Hello from the bus. I leave my work duties of whispering threats
9361 to hardware in order to go home and do the same with my own IT
9363 <@mst> > I like big butts and I cannot lie, my brother also likes big
9364 butts and cannot tell the truth, how will you escape our dungeon
9365 <@rjbs> through the butt
9367 <@alh> Cell phones are terrible investments
9368 <@sungo> yes they are
9369 <@sungo> particularly if you're an android user
9370 <@alh> Well at least a samsung can keep you warm one day
9372 < mohawk_pts> PHP makes it easy to make terrifyingly fast websites
9373 < mst> PHP makes it easy to make terrifying websites fast
9374 < Grinnz> PHP makes it terrifying to make fast websites... easy?
9375 <@sri> PHP terrifies fast website makers easily... am i doing this right?
9377 < quicksilver> kiltbomb: v. tr. : To cause a profound effect on someone's
9378 emotional state by the untelegraphed wearing of a kilt, e.g.
9379 "did you see that? Ilmari totally kiltbombed that recruiter!"
9381 < ether> I found this hotel to be much quieter than most, but it has the same
9382 problem as all of them which is the room can't get cold enough
9383 < leont_> ether: complaining rooms in Norway can't get cold enough is the
9384 most Canadian thing I've heard in a while ;-)
9386 < sawyer> jberger: "Hey, Leon!", leont_: "Oh, no..."
9387 < sawyer> jberger and Exodist: "Here's our idea...", leont_: "This is a
9388 terrible idea. You shouldn't do it. But here's how you could do
9391 < HeyDude22> I'm looking to change my dick
9396 < mohawk> "drink and programming are the curse of the perl classes"
9398 17:55 < marcus> jberger: fwiw it seems to run faster like this. At 93% atm.
9399 17:58 < marcus> hmm, maybe not. at 102% done now :'(
9400 18:00 < marcus> marcus-- # put the ++ inside the inner loop.
9402 < ChoHag> The trick to using windows and maximising its performance is
9405 < errietta> i want fried egg
9406 < errietta> but last time i made fried egg i started a fire
9407 < masochist> I have a simple solution for you
9408 < masochist> don't start a fire this time
9410 <errietta> bah humbag
9411 <mst> is that like a bumbag, but full of bees
9412 <errietta> why would you have a bumbag full of bees
9413 <errietta> that seems like a horrible way to store bees
9415 <@cat-xeger> On the good side, my garden is progressing, and I'm halfway
9416 done my hammer storage.
9417 <@cat-xeger> On the not so good side, I no longer have the body of an 18yo
9418 <@sungo> might be able to find one at nearby cemetary. or a bar
9420 <@gwern> 'We sift humans from the animals, by exposing them to chat
9421 channels and watching. We call this test... the Gom Jabber. Few
9424 < ggreer> uh oh. I said, "this is a bikeshed" and now I'm in an argument
9425 over whether or not it's a bikeshed
9427 < masochist> I am still pleased with my coining rule 34.b
9428 < masochist> if it exists, there's a bikeshed about it. no exceptions.
9429 < mst> masochist: no there isn't
9430 < masochist> mst++ # thank you
9432 < haarg> Test::Harness adds -w
9433 < haarg> EUMM disables that
9434 < haarg> Module::Build does not
9435 < haarg> a jenga tower of dicks
9437 < pink_mist> a long long time ago I was being an annoying asshole in an
9438 irc channel far far away, and one of the ops murdered me so
9439 hard a pink mist was all that was left
9441 < mst> premature optimization is like masturbation
9442 < mst> you're welcome to do it in the privacy of your own home
9443 < mst> but it's rude to ask other people to help
9444 < ttkp> huh .. I guess Californian culture is different that way
9446 < mst> masochist: it's perfectly named, it's for input BINDings
9447 < masochist> but input for what?
9448 < mst> I was just making a DNS pun
9449 < errietta> mst: AAAA, that's horrible
9451 < El_Che> fatpack is easy to read but you need to imitate a northern
9452 english accent, though. And laugh manically halfway
9454 < castaway> mebbe divide it into: thing we want to do; investigation into
9455 how; actual plan; details/time estaime ?
9456 * castaway waves a magic wand at that last bit of spelling
9458 <@ether> that uncomfortable feeling after listening closely to a nice
9459 metal song and realizing they're talking about Jesus..
9460 <@mst> and then half the best scandinavian black metal artists end up in jail
9461 <@ether> whatever happened to the wholesome songs about eating baby heads
9463 < mst> an apostrophe does not mean 'oh shit look out here comes an S'
9464 < sungo> mst: it's the grammar version of SURPRISE
9466 < pirateFinn> I'm convinced at this point that the web designers for the
9467 AWS documentation were given far too many recreational drugs
9469 < jberger> Most of jberger's modules should be run from, screaming
9471 <@ether> ooh ooh I know, someone should write it as an overload of ~~
9472 <@mst> ether: source filter!
9473 < purl> NO NO DIE DIE DIE !!!! STABBIE!
9476 < ttkp> slightly dreading my annual review with $boss1, which is stupid.
9477 < ttkp> I've kept my head and dtrt in the face of police dogs, fires,
9478 gang shoot-outs and debugging legacy php apps.
9479 < ttkp> this should be a piece of cake by comparison
9481 -!- davercc [~user@140.211.41.49] has joined #perl
9483 -!- davercc [~user@140.211.41.49] has left #perl []
9484 < simcop2387> i think he didn't make it to "think", therefor he is not
9486 < sungo> these days I definitely say "redhat linux" with the same tone
9487 and weight that our CTO says "oracle solaris"
9489 < ChoHag> systemd did do _one_ useful thing while it was installed.
9490 < ChoHag> It's so noisy that its logs helped us determine quite precisely
9491 when the system went down.
9493 < mst> goddamnit, somebody else's pizza delivery just rang the doorbell
9494 < mst> repeatedly, because it took me a minute to put on pants
9495 < masochist> ... tempted to send a pizza delivery to your flat now
9497 17:25 < Grinnz> nuke it from orbit
9498 17:33 -!- PanoptaOutage has joined #metacpan
9499 17:33 < PanoptaOutage> fastapi.metacpan.org outage at 11:32:09 CDT: HTTPS
9500 17:34 < Grinnz> well, i didn't mean like that
9502 <NamedN> i'm hoping alcohomol will help
9507 < triddle-work> I.... don't......... the fuck..... *sigh*
9509 < komali2> For the record, the optimal breakfast is 4 hard boiled eggs,
9510 some slices of cheese, and 50g of bread, and I *do* have
9511 graphs to demonstrate this ;)
9512 <@saturn2> do you have a graph showing the benefits of using graphs
9514 < masochist> so if you pkg_add horseporn, pkg_delete -a won't remove it
9516 < quicksilver> but I do sometime make homonymic or quasi-homonymic typos
9517 even when I know very well which work is which.
9519 < sobel> i remember sending font-changes ahead of piping stuff to PRN:
9520 < sobel> so i could print my BBS files in italic
9521 < sobel> now if my printer doesn't Just Work i take it back and buy booze
9524 11:54 < TBSliver> mdk: did the internet just die at the office?
9525 11:54 < TBSliver> (no answer though will mean it did haha)
9529 < thrig> there are two major problems in computing: naming things, cache
9530 coherency, off by one issues, and
9531 < cousteau> thrig, those are four, shouldn't it be 2±1?
9532 < pink_mist> cousteau: there. are. FOUR. lights.
9534 < El_Che> the coolest member of the p* family is preap on Solaris though
9535 < El_Che> kill the zombies
9536 < hobbs> by removing the head or destroying the brain
9537 < El_Che> that's an implementation detail that can change between releases
9539 <@sri> wow, postgres 11 is a game changer!
9540 <@sri> you can now close psql with "quit" and "exit" :D
9542 < Filipe> Nietzsche: god is dead
9543 < Filipe> Freud: god is dad
9544 < Filipe> Zuckerberg: god is ad
9546 < two2theheadPC0> Ah. Kidnapping and Ransom insurance. NOT Kernighan and
9548 <@gwern> don't be silly. no one would be crazy enough to sell you
9549 insurance on problems in your C code
9551 < Winterbay> Great, someone has decided to listen to Opera without
9552 headphones in an open office...
9553 < hikari> Winterbay, Have you considered beating them to death?
9555 <@sri> weather forecast promised rain... and then we got 34C
9556 <@sri> it's not supposed to be that warm in northern germany
9557 < mst> sri: http://trout.me.uk/meltered.jpg
9558 <@sri> my spirit animal
9560 < feep> you can't just drop this pdf on me and walk out :(
9561 < feep> that's like putting a leash on the dog and then going to have a bath
9562 < feep> while I'm just sitting here, like, "debate?? debate???"
9563 < feep> :headtilt, whine: ... debate?
9565 < XORXERY> The only thing that can be learned from history is that
9566 usually the person with the most preposterous thing on top of
9567 his (sometimes her) head runs the show.
9569 <@mst> I keep forgetting you're older than sungo
9570 <@perigrin> only physically, mentally he out olds me :)
9571 * sungo whacks perigrin with his cane
9572 <@ct> "My lawn and your proximity to it: A Dissertation"
9574 <@ct> it kept waking me up in the middle of the night as I'd roll and it
9575 lit up with the watch right next to an eyeball
9576 <@mst> CEILING IWATCH IS WATCHING YOU MASTURBATE
9577 <@ct> hey, you put it on the correct wrist you can get steps for that
9579 <@mst> ether: fancy writing a Mojo::Pg based ORM together?
9580 <@ether> mst: fuck you with a rusty chainsaw
9581 <@mst> .oO "or I could just start one and give ether co-maint"
9582 <@ether> goto line 10
9584 <sungo> when *I* am saying "jesus, man, calm the fuck down", you know it's bad
9586 <mst> Alexander Gauland, a leader of the German far-right party AfD, was
9587 reportedly in a lake when a man shouted "for Nazis, there is no
9588 bathing place" and stole his clothes
9589 <Mithaldu> nazis can go take showers
9591 <@chargrill> the whole deal was an attempt by my then-wife to bandage our
9592 failing marriage (by buying a condo for fucks sake. i can't even)
9593 <@mst> beats "'fixing' a marriage by having a kid you don't really want"
9594 <@perigrin> mst: to be fair we fixed having the kid by getting married
9596 < mst> "just let me roll a fag" confuses americans even more
9597 <@gwern> you want to be a rogue in order to roll a fag, though, due to
9598 the need for manual dexterity
9599 < nshepperd_> Druid imo. The ability to turn into a bear at will is vital
9601 < mst> I mean, we do sort of have a standard deployment, but that's
9602 because I documented an install I did once and everybody cargo
9603 culted it from then on
9604 < Grinnz> isn't that just devops
9606 * Logos01 now has LTE functionality on his new phone
9607 < mst> Logos01: less than or equal to what though?
9608 < Logos01> Your mother.
9609 < Logos01> I mean she's a pretty high bar to match.
9611 < Logos01> This got me to full "Long-Term Evolution" (I have no idea why
9612 that's what LTE means, just writing it this way to vex mst)
9613 functionality on the phone.
9614 < Logos01> Plus I got to use "vex" in a sentence.
9616 < mdk> 3 times a week is enough
9617 < mst> said the bishop to the nun
9618 < mdk> You're kidding right, that's a minimum daily number in the
9619 Catholic church, though it generally refers to choirboys
9621 < mst> having the kernel enforce it via ulimit is much nicer
9622 < mst> you just need to find the win32 equivalent
9623 < xenu> windows has a strict memory limit enforced by lack of OOM killer
9624 < xenu> so at some point system stops responding
9626 < castaway> # Looks like you failed 142 tests of 143.
9627 < castaway> .. yay ;)
9628 < TBSliver> castaway: you missed one :P
9629 * TBSliver passes castaway the shotgun and points towards behind the shed
9631 <@ct> Azure has lost one of our servers
9632 <@ct> Status: Running
9633 <@ct> Real Status: Lol, no tho seriously
9634 <@ct> oldmanshoutsatcloud.jpg
9636 < El_Che> gnome 3 > macos > win7 > syphilis > windows 10
9638 < Logos01> java is a punishment from the gods of order and reason
9639 for our impurity for rejecting the way of GNU.
9641 < LeoNerd> OK good, this seems to be working again
9642 < LeoNerd> And now I can resume to tail -f mail.log to see if I can
9643 find out the cause of the /actual/ problem I started debugging
9646 * CPAN Upload Data-Sah-Coerce-perl-str-str_to_currency_pair-0.001 by PERLANCAR
9647 <Grinnz> i feel like perlancar is just randomly generating dists at this point
9651 < simcop2387> /lastlog -hi
9652 < simcop2387> /lastlog -hi
9653 < simcop2387> ... caffiene needed
9655 < errietta> this new guy is doing machine learning stuff as a hobbt
9656 < mst> THEY@RE TAKING THE DATA TO ISENGARD
9657 < Penfold> to ISENGARD?
9658 < ether> TO ISENGARD
9660 18:11 -!- python476 [~user@2a01:e35:8a9c:3610:5a94:6bff:fe8f:4c4c] has joined
9662 18:12 < python476> prolog sucks, c is the only tru programm#@$910.x3..ge
9664 < dax> weird, i set my clock to MST and it just says "pub" all the time
9666 < triddle-work> oh good so when someone I barely know endorses me as a
9667 php expert it can never go away ever
9668 < mst> the sex offenders' register was already permanent
9669 < triddle-work> that one doesn't bug me as much as php expert
9671 < ttkp> for perl-physics-hardness I derived an artificial hardness scale
9672 TUSH and drew up a relation between TUSH and a variety of scales
9673 < mst> ttkp's uniform scale of hardness?
9676 < Urchin> kuudes: "do you want to elect this bunch of incompetents, or
9677 this bunch of thieves?"
9678 < mst> Urchin: "don't worry, in practice they'll turn out to be both"
9679 < Urchin> mst: "it's more a question of tendency"
9681 < pmurias> what do you feel about the state of the direction Perl 5?
9682 < simcop2387> we have a direction? :)
9683 < lopid> "going forward"
9684 < huf> cos we cant find reverse
9686 <@BipolarBear> BRILLIANT
9687 <@BipolarBear> THE SECURITY CERTIFICATE FOR THE .MIL SECURITY SITE IS EXPIRED
9688 <@BipolarBear> fuck me running
9690 < hobbs> I have a londoner coworker complaining about the "heat wave" :)
9691 < hobbs> the temperature appears to have risen all the way into the 20s!
9692 < mst> hobbs: it got up to 28 and also fuck you
9693 < Botje> "does it ever stop raining here?" "I don't know sir, I'm only eight"
9695 <@hobbs> based on how big your ducts are or whatever
9696 <@perigrin> I like big ducts and I cannot lie
9697 <@vmbrasseur> hobbs likes big ducts and cannot tell the truth.
9698 <@vmbrasseur> You get three questions.
9700 < quanticle> You... don't have syntax highlighting
9701 < mst> quanticle: can't stand it
9702 * quanticle backs away slowly, having heard the saying about meddling in
9703 the affairs of wizards.
9705 <@hobbs> o/ CUT MY FROG INTO PIECES, THIS IS MY LAB REPORT o/
9707 * mst shudders at 120v
9708 <@insomnia> pfft. 240
9709 <@insomnia> WITH THE FUCKING SWITCHES UPSIDE DOWN.
9710 <@insomnia> umop apisdn
9712 < mohawk> step 1: hire bruce willis
9713 < mohawk> step 2: ...
9714 < mohawk> step 3: victory
9715 < mohawk> obviously i'd delegate step 2
9717 * vreg writes a regex to parse mst's regex and then writes a regex to
9718 fix the regex that was supposed to parse mst's regex
9720 < dax> 17:03:22 <@IdleBot> el learned Perl! This wondrous godsend has
9721 accelerated them 0 days, 05:50:52 towards level 60.
9722 < dax> el: shit i knew i should have stopped you from talking to mst
9724 <@quicksilver> MySQL gave me a T-shirt!
9725 <@davel> if only they'd given you a database :-/
9726 <@quicksilver> it's ok, I already have one
9727 <@quicksilver> the T-shirt was more useful
9729 < MiscM> where can I find /topic?
9731 < BinGOs> it comes as something when I am comtemplating debugging stuff
9732 in EUMM as a break from coding ircds in perl :)
9734 < Obormot\Sirius> And that's why WoW these days is sux
9735 < Obormot\Sirius> The Old Ways Are The Best Ways™, issue 87 of ∞
9736 < mst> [old man shouts at cloud].jpg
9737 < Obormot\Sirius> (more like, old man shouts at blizzard) >_>
9739 < xenu> xfce? you're using a fucking desktop environment with wsl?
9740 < mst> xenu: I'm doing the same thing with cygwin
9741 < xenu> mst: we have already established that you're a weirdo
9742 < xenu> but i still had some hope for genio
9745 < sungo> guido just FYIQ on python
9746 https://www.mail-archive.com/python-committers@python.org/msg05628.html
9747 < TBSliver> mst: WHAT DID YOU DO?!
9749 < errietta> mst: i don't know why i remembered this but do you remember
9750 at SC the first time i said something like "what the fuck"
9751 really loud and everyone laughed
9752 < mst> errietta: it was a proud day for all of us.
9754 <@gwern> or heck, just replace your bottom half with a minitank for good
9755 measure, no one will notice
9756 < rmmh> "the slits both increase sex appeal and provide convenient firing
9759 < xenu> Grinnz: in poland we have a problem with a very similar plant
9760 named sosnowski's hogweed
9761 < xenu> its popular name is "stalin's revenge"
9762 < Grinnz> this type of shit should be not allowed to leave australia
9764 <scrottie> stupid is always hiring even if the pay ain't great.
9766 < AdrianO> whew. safe from football for another 4 years
9767 < Rosemary> you know about the European Championship right? :P
9771 <@gwern> hah. people on twitter are butthurt about the cow paper.
9773 <@mst> > A HUMAN BEING SHOULD BE ABLE TO TWIT A HOT TAKE, MOCK A BLUECHECK,
9774 POAST A FEEL, SAVE A SCREENCAP, DERAIL A THREAD, ARGUE IRONICALLY,
9775 TROLL EFFICIENTLY, GET BANNED GALLANTLY. SPECIALIZATION IS FOR NORMIES
9776 < Filipovic> time enough for irc
9778 19:39 < camelia> rakudo-moar 7a7e5e96f: OUTPUT: «geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez»
9779 19:39 < TimToady> there we go :)
9780 19:41 < geekosaur> (are you saying you're a geeeeeeeeezer?)
9781 19:45 < TimToady> er...
9783 < Burnin8> Brb, eyboard batery problems appear o b occurig
9785 < gordonfish> My cat loves to bat around live mice instead of eating them
9787 < gordonfish> He does a great job of catching them though
9788 < gordonfish> But most of the time they end up getting away *facepaw*
9790 <@cat-xeger> People were astounded to find a stringed instrument hidden
9791 within the dry well ...
9792 <@cat-xeger> but it was merely more evidence of the violins inherent in
9795 <@beetlegeuse> speaking of technology illiterate
9796 <@beetlegeuse> my husband is in the other room trying to figure out
9797 <@beetlegeuse> how to share a blu-ray on the network
9798 <@beetlegeuse> it's been like 18 minutes, and I think I should go rescue him.
9800 <@cat-xeger> ods, tried
9801 <@mst> evens, failed
9802 <@perigrin> primes, breadsticks
9803 <@cat-xeger> imaginacyr
9805 > always good to know that there are two helicopters circling near
9806 > by, one registered to the department of homeland security and
9807 > the other registered to "Helicopters Inc" and berthed out of
9808 > Fort Meade. HI NSA.
9810 <WendyWoolfy> Service message from Princess Seaways ferry
9811 from IJmuiden to Newcastle. Message for Mr Jeff drforr
9812 Goff from Mrs Wendy van Dijk: the ladies await your whisky
9813 tasting skills in Compass Bar on floor 6.
9815 < jberger> the notion of routing based Content-Type still strikes me as
9816 odd but ... its your app
9817 < mst> jberger: he's white, he won't get shot for resisting a REST
9818 <@perigrin> I'm standing my ground against the web server
9820 <ilmari> Edinburgh's a lot steeper than Glasgow
9822 <@ct> can I blame this on millennials?
9823 <@arcanez> are you standing on your lawn?
9824 <@perigrin> did you miss his dissertation last month?
9825 <@ct> "My lawn and your proximity to it: A Dissertation"
9827 <errietta> so i'm putting stuff together for my team on running their stuff
9828 <errietta> nobody else wanted to dig
9829 <errietta> i'm like, i came from shadowcat, i'm used to digging how shit
9832 < Fusxfaranto> tiny brain: drugs are bad / regular brain: buy nootropics
9833 from sketchy websites / giant brain: buy nootropics from
9834 sketchy websites, but test them on your cat first
9836 < simcop2387> i can't figure out how an installer could use that much ram
9837 even if it was written in java
9838 < thrig> python, so I didn't look and increased the memory until the
9839 install didn't crash out
9841 <@mst> ... fucking spammers.
9842 * mst abuses PAUSE admin powers
9843 <@mst> now I have three accounts!
9844 <@alh> You mistakenly take over ETHER. Suffer 20d40 maintenance damage
9846 < Obormot\Sirius> And just today I was baking some cookies and I thought,
9847 you know what this disgustingly archaic excuse for an
9848 "oven" can't do? Segfault! It can't segfault. Repulsive!
9850 <mst> dark forest cake: if you tell anybody where the cake is, they blow it up
9851 <gwern> 'three suns summer cake': you throw it in the oven for a while
9852 and check back; every few times, it's burnt to a crisp
9854 <Hazelesque> so it's merely "fucking stupid" rather than "criminal
9855 financial negligence"
9857 <@sungo> oh well thank eris we had a test making sure /feedback was
9858 inacessible to unauthed people
9859 * sungo sets himself on fire
9861 < vague> Or maybe that means my balls are already skeletons
9863 < Logos01> Greetings, programs!
9865 < Logos01> Well, shit.
9866 * Logos01 sends a last lonely Ack to mourn mst's loss
9868 < mst> wait, you actually read the channel topic?
9870 < alh> CAREFUL OF YOUR HIP
9872 < karjala_> cancel this
9873 < karjala_> I made another mistake that caused this
9874 * lnation often talks through his problems aloud which helps to solve
9875 them, then wonders why everyone at the bar has moved to the other side.
9877 < LeoNerd> Any suggestion what font I need for SKULL ?
9879 < masochist> there are some yoga poses I want to explore sometime that
9880 are very much "forehead near peehole"
9882 17:20 * pirateFinn screams to music that combines the vocals of Back in Black
9883 with A Thousand Miles https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqiHiMuEkes
9884 17:20 < TBSliver> how much am I going to hate you for this?
9885 17:21 * TBSliver shoots pirateFinn in the head
9887 08:56 <@sri> well shit, my first flight is indefinitely delayed
9888 12:43 <@sri> stuck in amsterdam now
9889 13:23 <@sri> new plane is broken... rebooked on yet another later flight
9890 13:32 < jberger> sri: couldn't you just swim?
9892 < bigpresh> Do those messages get compiled into the binary then?
9895 * bigpresh puts on the pillock hat.
9897 <@ct> I suspect that even then it's not supposed to be there
9898 <@vmbrasseur> I suspect your suspicion is correct.
9899 <@perigrin> I supect her suspicion about your suspect suspicion is crap
9902 * AppStore puts up a sign saying "free bleach" and watches the cultural
9903 problem that is C solve itself.
9905 <@vmbrasseur> I love the show, and I love musicals, but even I won't pay
9907 <@perigrin> we spent ... 300 something on kinky boots
9908 <@perigrin> (they set off my outfit perfectly)
9910 < pirateFinn> "$application is a Angular & React application" BUT WHY
9911 < pirateFinn> "React renders the view layer for the modules" BUT YOU HAVE
9912 THE ANGULAR FOR THAT
9913 < pirateFinn> STOP MAKING JENGA WITH DYNAMITE
9915 < mst> "more stuff" is not a useful git commit message
9916 < errietta> mst: `git commit -m "who gives a shit"`
9917 < masochist> the axe murderer who is also your maintenance programmer
9918 < errietta> masochist: i think mst is more of a chainsaw than axe person
9920 < xenu> i think it's problematic, it starts innocently with "es6 is not
9921 that bad thanks to the addition of block scoping" but in no time
9922 it will turn into "hitler did nothing wrong"
9923 < xenu> it's a slippery slope
9925 <@chargrill> we 're-branded' one of our sub businesses, so to celebrate
9926 they gave all employees a nice little branded moleskine.
9927 <@perigrin> Was the mole still in it?
9929 < masochist> status.slack.com, of course, disagrees with you
9930 < mst> status.slack.com can go fuck a goat
9931 < masochist> that's probably what its problem is
9932 < mst> goat 2 considered harmful?
9935 < pink_mist> I hate perl
9936 < pink_mist> I'm just going to go drink myself unconscious and hope I
9937 forget this last half hour
9939 * quicksilver is refactoring the bookcases
9940 < quicksilver> with a jig-saw
9941 < quicksilver> it's quite a noisy kind of refactoring
9942 < errietta> quicksilver: sounds like the refactoring mst does
9944 < e> i think i'll attempt to find somewhere more hip in a year or two
9945 < e> somewhere where i'm not the most obviously weird person on my team,
9947 < mst> I ... don't think I've ever achieved that
9949 <@rasputozen> i almost never use tmux splits
9950 <@rasputozen> i use vim splits way more
9951 <+mst> rasputozen: xterm, dtach, ex-vi, job control
9952 <@rasputozen> mst: never heard of ex-vi
9954 < jberger> sigh, unicode
9956 < jberger> if that was intended as mojibake, it was well executed and humorous
9957 < mst> ... I'm just gonna pretend it was, then.
9959 <@mst> I like that touch id can register (a) cat's paws (b) flaccid human
9961 <@ct> mst: your use case is way different than mine :/A
9963 < RiversHaveWings> oh... water.weather.gov says the specific flood gauge
9964 in question is currently underwater
9965 < quanticle> The flood gauge... is flooded.
9966 < Betawolf> flood level: ERR:overflow.
9968 < Erasmus> you are the biggest fucking piece of shit
9969 < Erasmus> I have ever fuckign met
9970 < Erasmus> no wonder everyone fuckign hates your fucking guts
9971 < Erasmus> you little fuckign shrimp dicked authoritarian ass fucking hole
9973 <@bipolarbear> VAGINA PRINT ACCEPTED: ALL ACCESS GRANTED
9975 < errietta> https://github.com/hyperbudget/elastic-indexer
9976 /commit/f0695e52644021864f95d22d2100e25ccabc4ee9
9977 < errietta> raedme.md
9978 < errietta> # nailed it
9980 < LeoNerd> The complicated part was where perl's own debugging only tells me
9981 the leak comes from Perl_newSVsv. Well, yes..I could have guessed
9982 that. What called /that/? I need the C version of caller()
9983 < LeoNerd> man 3 backtrace if you want spoilers ;)
9985 < mquin> professionalism: friend is watching web server logs, so his
9986 colleagues have been sending requests with insults tacked onto
9989 < mst> but is it synergistic, cloud native and web scale?
9990 < ChoHag> Yes yes and yes.
9991 < ChoHag> That's why it went down.
9993 * Obormot\Gaia facepalms infinitely hard, thus collapsing local spacetime
9995 <@mst> .oO "foreskin origami"
9996 < cat-xeger> When attached or removed?
10000 < dax> i'd just like to interject for a moment. what you're refering to
10001 as London is, in fact, GNU/London, or as I've recently taken to
10002 calling it, GNU+London
10003 < Fuchs> /kill dax no
10005 < ttkp> my wife observed that "lolololol" looks like a row of people
10006 drowning, and now I can't not see it
10008 <@ether> I knew you would say that and I was already getting irritated at
10009 you for it before you did so
10011 14:53 < ivan> government is kidnapping me for jury duty this morning (at the
10012 same time that I go fall asleep)
10013 14:53 < ivan> there is no "fuck you I want to sleep" exemption
10014 19:04 < ivan> This is worse than I imagined
10016 <Kassandry> Goddamnit. How did the cat get hair in my bourbon?
10018 < simple> i'm not sure how i feel about Test::Mock::Simple
10019 < simple> either mock me or not
10021 < xenu> but what if my exception objects are false?
10022 < mst> xenu: then fuck you
10023 < LeoNerd> xenu: then I will shoot you :P
10024 < haarg> what mst said
10026 < sungo> of course, it only counts as a capital-D Disorder if it fucks
10027 with your life in a negative fashion. Otherwise it falls under
10028 "obsessive compulsive traits" aka "congrats. your job title is
10029 probably 'sysadmin'"
10031 < Dorward> We've come up with a solution to the terrible state of Node.js ORMs
10032 < Dorward> We need to get mst addicted to JS so he'll port DBIC
10034 < LeoNerd> "Give me ISO8601 or give me death"
10036 < LeoNerd> date = day month year
10037 < LeoNerd> ^-- DEATH
10040 <@mst> I don't think I got that far through SICP
10041 <@mst> enjoyed paul graham's On Lisp a lot more
10042 <@ether> "my god, it's full of cars"
10044 < ChoHag> You're on DOS.
10045 < ChoHag> Everything that could go wrong already has.
10047 <@sungo> I'm poly in my lawn nakedness thank you very much
10049 < kd> I think I am still married for three reasons. Firstly we are able
10050 to have conversations interesting conversations about maths despite
10051 my near total ignorance, and secondly because I have not yet bought
10054 10:08 < Loki42> mst: energy drinks and coffee. booting in progress plz wait
10055 10:09 < mst> |====== |
10056 10:55 < Loki42> |===============100%============|
10057 10:55 < Loki42> recovery complete, brain now accepts connections
10059 < pirateFinn> "Everyone is a squirter if you cut the right artery"
10060 < pirateFinn> And so, mass confusion over period sex occurred.
10062 < quanticle> mst: You are why we can't have nice things :D
10064 < marcusr> If anyone in europe wants stickers, you can send me an envelope
10066 < marcusr> My address is Marcus Ramberg, Motbakkene 1b, 0687 Oslo
10067 < marcusr> Mailbombs will be returned to sender.
10069 < sungo> poettering could probably find some way to fuck up a lightbulb
10070 < sungo> When he flips the wall switch, a bulb in a different room lights
10071 up and snakes fall out of the one in the bathroom. If the weather
10072 turns warmer than normal, the outlet in kitchen spews out sand
10074 (Canada just legalized cannabis)
10075 < ether> some enterprising Girl Guide sold out of dozens of boxes of
10076 cookies in less than an hour by selling down the queue of people
10077 at a weed store on Day One
10079 < Obormot\Gaia> Yes! Exactly
10080 < Obormot\Gaia> The problem is that some people are fucking doormats
10081 < Obormot\Gaia> (That apology didn't end up going *quite* as planned... >_> )
10083 * ilmari made errietta run away with code _again_ :(
10084 < errietta> ilmari: it was MATHS
10086 <@sungo> the new apple HQ features mist equipment in every conference
10087 room, gently spraying participants with mescaline
10089 < kd> this is awesome
10090 < kd> it's like an industrial grade needle finder for a needle in a
10091 haystack made of sacrificed goats and chickens
10093 < ilmari> mst: what does the s stand for?
10095 * mst eyes kd, hefts chainsaw
10096 * kd sews head back on
10098 < Finn> Yeah his idea of healthy debate is like going into a conversation
10099 with a vuvuzela and saying the aliens are coming
10100 < Finn> The thing is, he scared off the aliens and they decided invading Earth
10101 wasn't worth it after hearing his screaming from light years away
10103 < HaraldJoerg> I find it really hard to believe that this causes so much
10105 < El_Che> Hi HaraldJoerg, I see you're new. We play Bingo on thursday.
10107 < Logos01> Ways to offend possibly everyone who labels themselves as a
10108 connisseur: Offer up fine-quality teas ... as mixers for
10109 fine-quality whiskeys.
10110 < Logos01> (Golden monkey tea + Monkey Shoulder, for example)
10112 <GeekRuthie> your mind is like a bag of angry cats.
10113 <GeekRuthie> I swear, if the universities want to study chaos theory, they
10114 need to send grad students to follow you around taking notes.
10115 <GeekRuthie> Carefully, with camouflage, so you don't eat them.
10117 <lucidian> I wonder if there's a lot of people doing #NoShaveNovember
10118 *and* #NoNutNovember *and* nanowrimo
10119 <lucidian> I guess if they're not shaving or masturbating, they'll have
10120 more time to write their novels
10122 <+El_Che> we're so fucked when mst becomes the voice of reason
10124 < toecheese> i think my nick name is making me feel ill
10126 <triddle-work> I got handed surprise docker containers out of nowhere,
10127 like someone cuming in your mouth with out warning
10128 <triddle-work> fucking rude
10130 < mst> Grinnz: 'cp -a' is a better backup approach IME
10131 < Grinnz> putting your code in git is a better backup approach
10132 < mst> Grinnz: and then 'cp -a' to back up your .git
10133 < Grinnz> where's the emoji for "what the fuck"
10135 < masochist> this makes me sda.
10136 < masochist> sad, too
10137 < masochist> fuck you I am not a Linux disk drive
10140 < namespace> What the fucking-
10141 < namespace> I don't even want to know.
10142 * namespace closes IRC tab
10144 -!- masochist is now known as thoth
10145 < thoth> useless use of cat
10146 -!- thoth is now known as masochist
10147 * sungo tazes masochist
10149 < feep> also you should get him into rationality
10150 < feep> we have all the answers
10151 < feep> though usually the answers take the form of "that's just the sort
10152 of thing that hydrogen does when you let it sit for too long"
10154 < LeoNerd> Ooh, I hadn't noticed... I have the RT bug number 123465
10155 < LeoNerd> So close
10157 <@alh> Hmm. Rubbed my eye just now. Might have oil from hot pepper from lunch
10158 on my fi-- OH FUCK YES I DO
10159 <@alh> alskdjf;alsjkf
10161 <mst> quote from Cay t'other day
10162 <mst> "you never seem to express most emotions. I don't remember ever seeing
10163 you be anything except calm, happy or angry"
10164 <sungo> there are other emotions?
10166 <@cat-xeger> Something is making noises I really hope are from some
10167 exterior vibration ... if it's internal, I've got epileptic
10168 rodents the size of capybaras somewhere.
10170 < mst> n-gate is *wonderful*
10171 < mst> "opinions are those of your employer"
10172 * namespace hates n-gate
10173 < mst> see, it's even endorsed by the 'namespace has terrible taste' rule
10175 < LeoNerd> Ooooh and .pmc files, yes
10176 < LeoNerd> But apart from .pm files, .pmc files, the road system, public
10177 sanitation and works of culture, what have the Romans ever.. er..
10178 < LeoNerd> wait hang on
10180 <@ilmari> oops, what happened to lunch?
10181 <@LeoNerd> What is lunch? (Baby don't hurt me...)
10182 <@ilmari> s/hurt/eat/ ?
10183 <@ilmari> I'd do anything for lunch, but I won't do that.
10185 <nox> There is Japanese porn out there specifically about eye bukkake and
10186 the fact that I know that makes me want to die.
10188 <Kassandry> Fuck, I have no desk bourbon/whisky/whiteboard cleaner to get
10189 that image out of my head.
10191 * cat-xeger attempts to explain "my food" to her cats.
10193 < Obormot> Who gives a shit about these dog shows, anyway
10194 < Obormot> Westminster? Where even is that? Probably not even America
10195 < Obormot> ... it's here in New York?! Who allowed this!
10197 <@gwern> (the reason Paypal can freeze your account with impunity is
10198 because back in 1999, they declared Paypal infallibility)
10200 < shmem> I may not call any colleague an asshole. Instead, I must call
10201 assholes colleagues. duh.
10203 <@mst> "actually reading the error message" seems to be a superpower.
10204 <@mako132> all error messages should include a pre-built lmgtfy link
10205 <@sungo> and actually link to a search of goat anuses
10207 < pink_mist> I think it's recommended to run geordi in a docker container
10208 < mst> surely if it's called 'geordi' it would work better with a hyper visor
10210 <@gwern> I'm glad that the wordbreak hyphens don't show up in copy-paste.
10211 I was so pessimistic I had to check just now
10212 <@gwern> 'it would be idiotic for the browser to do that...BUT IT'S A BROWSER'
10214 < haarg> what didn't work?
10215 <@mst> the thing. with the stuff.
10216 < mohawk> mst - at my increasingly advanced age, i'm starting to think
10217 the thing is fundamentally incompatible with the stuff
10219 <ilbelkyr> (Baldur's Gate in general is full of quotable stuff. And don't even
10220 ask about the one where the protagonist gets fed up and describes
10221 by very flavorful means just exactly how an annoying NPC may go
10222 fuck off. That one is still among my favorites)
10224 < ChoHag> I just try to be portable where I can.
10225 < ChoHag> It's always nice to be able to tell users of your product that
10226 while of course they can use a database they can use mysql
10227 instead if they really want to.
10229 < DHFG> my footlong full of meat is gonna be great going down
10230 <@mst> I bet you say that to all the boys
10232 < DHFG> I almost got 5 guys, but damn does that get sloppy
10234 16:56 -!- blackswan has joined #perl
10235 17:00 < blackswan> hi. i had a stupid question but i didn't realize how stupid
10236 it was until i tried to type it. thank you.
10238 < LeoNerd> Give me some bisect tools
10239 < mst> you can bisect a laptop pretty efficiently with an axe
10240 < thrig> or table saw
10241 < thrig> table saws also have use in SQL, I am told
10243 < errietta> got .travis-ci.yml right the first time
10244 < errietta> i should buy a lottery ticket next
10245 < errietta> ofc saying that means i borked everything now :D
10248 < Kincaid> either the lads n lasses down at the pub are *really* off
10249 their faces on jaeger tonight, or there's geese on the lawn
10251 < jberger> its a lot harder to get open source stuff done these days
10252 < mst> best start sterilising our contributors. it's the only way to be sure.
10254 < LeoNerd> Not like *I'm* likely to have kids anyway...
10256 * ilmari giggles at the designation for Amazon Linux AMI Security
10257 Advisories: ALAS-<yyyy>-<nnnn>
10259 <Kassandry> Damnit. Now I look at all of the cardboard boxes that things
10260 come in as roach material.
10261 <Kassandry> There's something darkly ironic about using the nicotine
10262 tablet box to roach up a spliff for yourself for later.
10264 <taw> and we put those pictures in that PR thread knowing full well
10265 that the author responsible for that code was still actively
10266 watching the repository
10267 <taw> as a "fuck you"
10269 < ChoHag> Until you've had feedback, "experimental as fuck" is all you've got
10270 * ChoHag has never had anybody say of a 0.01 "fuck yes! That's exactly right!
10271 Do that but do it properly".
10272 < simcop2387> ChoHag: sounds like my sex life.
10274 <quicksilver> today I learn something truly awesome
10275 <quicksilver> there is a your mom joke in shakespeare
10276 <quicksilver> Chiron: Thou hast undone our mother
10277 <quicksilver> Aaron: Villain, I have done thy mother
10279 <mst> I still remember my father being stopped for speeding
10280 <mst> "sir, did you realise you were going 94 mph?"
10281 <mst> "actually, I thought I was going 100"
10282 <mst> officer blinks a couple times, issues a warning
10284 < ChoHag> ffs I didn't expect to be right.
10286 <kd> today is one of those days where my background in mental health is useful
10287 <kd> it turns out that handling people with serious devops skills is
10288 somewhat similar to working in an acute psych ward
10290 <pirateFinn> and that's when my hand went through my face because they
10291 missed the point so hard it shot a seagull out the sky
10293 < El_Che> LeoNerd: are you sipping on a cup of tea when you say that?
10294 < LeoNerd> I am British
10295 < LeoNerd> It is reasonable to imagine I am sipping on a cup of tea
10298 < Kassandry> I will take systemd over spending eight hours out in the fucking
10299 cold, boiling water, unsticking the sheep from the ice, and
10300 stopping them lying back down in the freezing puddles. Though I
10301 will say that sheep are generally smarter than the average dev.
10303 < kd> question: why do rutting male goats smell strongly of goat's milk?
10304 < mdk> kd: because goat's semen is indistinguishable from goat's milk.
10305 It's why the cheese is so creamy, crumbly and salty
10306 < Mithaldu_> ... why did i have to check into the channel at this time
10308 <sobel> heck, you don't even need postgres. i've been squeaking by on
10309 mysql all year. been thinking about a blog post...
10310 <sobel> by squeaking, i guess i mean whining piteously to all who would listen
10312 < simcop2387> pink_mist: baby clouded leopard.
10313 https://i.imgur.com/qrtZTlo.gifv
10314 < huf> looks undercooked
10316 < ChoHag> https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-02-19/beware-of-buy
10317 ing-young-people-s-blood-to-prevent-aging-fda-says
10318 < sungo> to think, I've been grinding up all those children for nothing
10319 < sungo> I mean, apart from the joy of feeding children to a wood chipper
10321 < Kassandry> You look well and truly pained there.
10322 < Kassandry> Like someone hit you in the bollocks with your own dead dog.
10324 < nox> I don't drink much nowadays but a fun anecdote of mine is that I
10325 once threw up in a garbage can in a police station in Hiroshima
10326 and the cops applauded.
10328 < sungo> I've got thoughts on curing cancer now
10329 < mst> murder everything that can get cancer?
10331 < ChoHag> Can I be in charge?
10333 <@gwern> kuudes, I'm not a Silver Age villain
10334 <@gwern> do you really think I'd monologue about WL if there was anything
10335 you could do about it? I *did it* half an hour ago
10337 < simcop2387> i still want to make a remote controlled whaling ship that
10338 can pull in a trout onto the deck
10339 < thrig> does mst get that close to the sea?
10341 < markfowler> Once I remember writing a spec for CSV files sent to us
10342 that specified they had to start with a UTF8 BOM. Not
10343 because we couldn't cope without it, but because it told us
10344 if they'd read the spec
10346 < thrig> no Bond, I expect you to use autodie
10350 < mst> whatever it is
10351 * mst shoots it, just in case
10353 < errietta> my boss was complaining that one of his talks had auto
10354 subtitles that were gibberish
10355 < errietta> i tried it on one of my talks
10356 < errietta> it was gibberish except it thought it was dutch gibberish
10358 < pink_mist> and really, stop mentioning prototypes
10359 < pink_mist> it's like mentioning the war to germans
10361 <errietta> a deer walks out of a gay bar
10362 <errietta> > man i cant believe i blew 50 bucks in there
10364 < genio> Atlassian has again amazed me at the stupid
10366 < xq> I see that there are 3 RFCs and they say slightly different things
10367 < xq> and then there is internet explorer
10369 < xq> I'll take your word for it
10371 < Logos01> Fecking self-taming animals in RimWorld. No, ostrich, I do not
10372 want you. Stop eating my potatoes.
10373 < Logos01> Update: I slaughtered that head-ducking megalocephalic chicken
10374 like my future hope of orgasms depended on it.
10376 < Obormot> I don't know why! I tested all this bullshit! But hey, whatever.
10377 No plan survives contact with the actual fucking interwebs
10379 <@ct> 45L is big enough to smuggle a reasonably sized toddler
10382 < errietta> i've had all my vaccines and i'm-
10384 < errietta> nevermind.
10386 * ilmari tried to portmanteau dong damage into dongmage, but that's a
10387 completely different class
10388 < mst> ilmari: "come here, little girl, and let me show you my magic wand"
10391 <kbk> Sift the twos and sift the threes, / in the Sieve of Eratosthenes, /
10392 And when the multiples sublime / The numbers that remain are prime!
10394 < Obormot> Maybe y'all need to get better monitors / operating systems / eyes
10395 < MarkOtaris> what eyes do you recommend purchasing
10396 < Obormot> MarkOtaris: I got mine custom-grown, bespoke, at a
10397 local provider. I'm sure you wouldn't know it
10399 < PavelB> (I say "worked with", more like "saw and then noped the fuck out")
10401 <mst> scala code in a blog post: trait Console[F[_]] {
10402 def putStrLn(line: String): F[Unit] def getStrLn: F[String] }
10403 <mst> my brain: "unwrap F to play effects"
10404 <ilmari> *grone* eff off!
10406 < Botje> "pull this github project, fix the bug and make a pull request"
10407 < integral> and on day 1 you find out the "legacy" code isn't on github yet
10408 < Botje> what are you talking about? it's the repository with one commit
10409 containing a zip file.
10411 <@sungo> it's all awful
10412 <@hobbs> it's software
10415 < Fuchs> I am always serious and never joking
10416 < Fuchs> I am swiss, we don't even allow jokes
10418 < ggreer> it's salesforce's 20th anniversary party
10419 < ggreer> I know this because I work next to salesforce tower and they
10420 are having a concert
10421 < ggreer> this won't be my most productive day
10423 < sobel> weeeeiiiiird, not a single JIRA with my name assigned to it
10424 < capitol> master has given dobby a sock, dobby is free
10426 < thrig> it keeps your server racks cool and/or sprays leaking water onto them
10427 < buu> isn't that how you cool down racks?
10428 < Grinnz> you mean all the stuff that's replaced by the cloud now?
10429 < xenu> well, broken AC can make your datacenter serverless
10431 < El_Che> honestly, the old platform support discussion in Perl 5 is
10432 equivalent to the cyclic naming discussion in the Perl 6 community
10433 < simcop2387> El_Che: no, you're a parrot
10434 < El_Che> simcop2387: don't beat a dead pony
10436 < tm604> that's okay, arithmetic is poorly defined on country objects anyway
10437 < thrig> and now we compute the Lebensraum functor, and apply ...
10439 < mst> huh, RHEL8 removes docker in favour of their own tools
10440 < thrig> I can hardly contain my enthusiasm
10442 < Obormot> (Goddamn that drop-cap is beautiful)
10443 < mst> .oO "I wonder if this is the only way Obormot can get off"
10444 <@gwern> mst: we'll only need to worry when Obormot makes 'These Dropcaps
10445 Do Not Exist' and buys a bigger monitor
10447 <errietta> the battery is definitely fine
10448 <errietta> i tested it with my tongue
10449 <errietta> *licks* ... nom
10450 <errietta> *bzzz* ... *ow*
10452 < ttkp> "bi-parmesan" makes me think of "Keiserinna" cheese from Finland which
10453 I thought was an edam but is actually a blend of gouda and parmesan
10454 < ttkp> it's still one of the best edams I've ever tasted, despite not
10457 < hobbs> leitz: yes but please write "$this->($that)" instead
10458 < mst> leitz: I would write it as ... what hobbs said.
10459 < pink_mist> yeah, what hobbs said
10460 < mst> WE TELL YOU THREE TIMES
10462 * ether mutters I guess I'll set the building on fire
10463 <@sungo> with alh tied to the radiator? how rude
10465 < mst> congratulations, you actually did break the compiler
10466 < Grinnz> indirect object syntax strikes again
10467 < gordonfish> That explains the burning smell
10469 <@alh> Are any of those links SFW
10471 <@sungo> but we're not telling you which one
10473 < Gustavo6046> My point is, (15,-3).
10475 <@customer> I'm dating them so my devops guy knows to smoketest
10476 with a new one when it is available
10477 <@mst> he doesn't know how to use 'git log' ?
10478 <@customer> I don't know how to use git log :man-shrugging:
10480 07:59 -!- Penfold [~mike@81.2.66.248] has left #chat [Leaving]
10481 08:00 -!- Penfold [~mike@81.2.66.248] has joined #chat
10482 08:00 < Penfold> ENOTTHATBUTTONYOUPILLOCK
10484 < mst> quicksilver: surely appropriating NZ culture would require
10485 attempting to stick your dick in it first
10486 < pirateFinn> and i love it
10487 < pirateFinn> that was a badly timed IRC message
10489 * LeoNerd finds a code comment
10490 < LeoNerd> "it may be found elsewhere for which this code is unsafe, but
10491 detecting such cases is generally impossible. Good luck"
10492 < LeoNerd> Oh, thanks past self. :/
10494 <@mst> it's going to be weird in a couple decades when alh's kids aren't
10495 underage anymore but he still is
10496 <@alh> They'll be able to buy me alcohol so win
10498 < Logos01> Re: "Date Arab Girls!" -- I live in Salt Lake City, and I
10499 cannot help but notice: we have our own breed of totalitarian
10500 religious intolerance here.
10501 < Logos01> AND THEY DO NOT MIX
10503 < ChoHag> errietta: Do you have to worry about buying food?
10504 < errietta> i worry about everything
10506 < ChoHag> I know but do you have to?
10508 19:55 < ChoHag> What the actual fuck?
10510 20:17 < ChoHag> Ah HAH. Escapes.
10511 20:17 < ChoHag> NEED MOAR BACKSLASH.
10513 <@cat-xeger> ... and I've just discovered that I sound like a frog when I talk
10514 <@cat-xeger> (I mean, yeah, sore throat, but hadn't realized it was that bad)
10515 <@mst> cat-xeger: I guess you sound ribbitculous
10516 <@cat-xeger> more gravelicious
10518 < errietta> jesus christ how long does this repository take to clone
10519 < mst> 3 days. hence jesus christ
10520 < errietta> that checks out tbh
10521 < ChoHag> ... eventually
10523 < triddle> I really liked his analysis of willy wonka and the chocolate
10524 factory: you get at least 20 years in prison for killing a
10525 blond girl but it's just a couple years if you illegally
10526 import an entire race of midgets
10528 14:49 * thrig eyes a postgres setup script that copies in pg_hba.conf then
10529 deletes that file to run initdb
10530 14:51 < thrig> ... which then fails because postgres wasn't running (if it is
10531 running, a previous step fails out)
10533 < judd996> We have a sat antenna controller protocol that was supposed to be
10534 JSON, but is just enough different that any JSON parser won't work.
10537 <@hide> genehack: I’ll have IRC access and know you by site. I arrive
10539 <@mst> which site? okcupid, grindr, or fetlife?
10540 <@hide> Would “yes” be the wrong answer here?
10542 < Houshalter> if the money is invested properly you can get a dog dynasty
10543 <@gwern> Houshalter: I think that might not be allowed, actually
10544 < mst> but but but DOG DYNASTY
10545 <@saturn2> wake up, dogs can't melt steel beams
10547 <mst> 3 layer subselect!
10548 <mohawk> we'd 'ave THROWN EXCEPTIONS to 'ave only 3 when i were a lad!
10549 <mst> ORDER BY UPHILL BOTH WAYS
10551 < s0ph1a> bitch pls, i was an incel for many years before i transitioned
10552 (and remembered i'm bi )
10554 <@alh> Bah, my amex got popped recently
10555 <@mst> I've never heard it called *that* before
10556 <@alh> It's hard, has lots of value, lots of bad people want to get their
10559 03:13 <@JohnMH> mst is a cop magnet
10560 03:13 < Maatkare> Guess so ha
10561 03:13 < Maatkare> They must like his accent
10562 03:13 <@JohnMH> it's the hair
10564 < pink_mist> no need for use IO::Handle (); unless you're on a rather old perl
10565 < mst> genio toils in the unmaintainium mines
10566 < genio> it's a lonely job. I'll likely have to live out my mid-elder years
10567 in an iron lung from breathing in all of the dirty particles
10569 # get_results_with_step_back that works properly with filters
10570 # I don't want to modify the old codebase one because I don't have a deathwish
10572 sub get_results_with_step_back {
10574 < ChoHag> What is it about geeks and exaggerations?
10575 < ilmari> ChoHag: this is a hive of scum and pedantry
10577 <eijebong> C'est à cause de la recherche tout le js nan ?
10578 <eijebong> Woups, this isn't a french channel
10579 <nox> It's a complaining channel,
10580 <nox> so in some way it's a French channel.
10582 < huf> so it turns out there's not much point to ... | tee > file
10583 < mst> | cat | cat | cat | cat >file
10584 * ilmari reports mst to the rspca
10585 < lopid> feline centipede
10587 < mst> well, porting the Mouse accessor system to Moo would be doable
10588 < mst> but nobody's done that yet
10589 < LeoNerd> "mouse accessor system" == cat?
10592 < ChoHag> errietta: I have a lot of experience with being unable to
10593 sleep. In my experience there are only two solutions: Always
10594 wake up at *exactly* the same time, or drink until you pass out.
10595 < ChoHag> Only the latter can beat a 9PM coffee.
10597 <@mst> my favourite layer 1 failure was "somebody filled a wheelie bin half
10598 full of petrol, lit it, waited for it to get decently hot, and then
10599 tipped it down a fibre bundle intersection and slagged the lot"
10600 * Grinnz waits for internal translation matrix to finish, then lols
10602 <@alh> "What are you most proud of in the last 6 months?"
10603 <@alh> That I haven't succumbed to a drinking problem due to the stress
10604 of maintaining a job to provide for a family
10605 <@alh> ... through probably only because I'm not allowed to drink yet
10607 < ilmari> tfw the deployment documentation is ~/.bash_history
10609 < dakkar> I was looking at AsyncAwait, and I noticed that it does
10610 *something* to the call stack
10611 < dakkar> I'm still not sure what ☺
10612 < LeoNerd> \vaguecatmeme{}
10614 18:09 < mohawk> consarnit
10615 18:09 < mohawk> implementing that'll take whole minutes
10616 18:16 < mohawk> 7, in fact
10618 < Obormot\Arcturus> Whoaaa I think I just discovered a weird CSS thing
10620 < feep> is it .... css
10622 < xiaomiao> if json is the better alternative I demand to get drunk
10624 * gwern is still unaccountably amused by discussions of french terrorism
10625 like the 'Nice promenade truck massacre' - yeah it was nice but if
10626 he'd planned more it could've been a *great* terrorist attack
10628 < tom_m> yeah... it's all too easy to end up with select * from x natural
10629 join y natural join z natural join massive_audit_table natural
10630 join why_is_the_dba_crying order by unindexed_key limit 5
10632 < simcop2387> gumbyfucker? BinGOs has a new bot?
10634 < Grinnz> I would have considered it a deprecation, though there's unlikely to
10635 be many users and there's no way to notify the user with a warning
10636 < mst> Grinnz: tie @_ and call the callback with &
10637 * kraih gets scared and quickly releases a new mojo version
10639 Have you been wondering how to give your pet opossum a pedicure, massage or
10640 gourmet meal? Of course you have! No fear: there's someone to help you with
10641 these matters. As you might expect, she's awesome, and loves dead squirrels.
10643 <thisisnic> Yorkie busy but fun. Will I likely bump into you briefly later?
10644 <mst> yes. am just about to head to s'bury's then YH
10645 <thisisnic> Wicked, see you in a bit. If I'm drunk and think I've lost my
10646 jacket remind me it's in the cellar!
10648 < mst> peerce: the A in IoT is for Architecture
10649 < mst> peerce: the S in IoT is for Security
10650 < Widdershins> i thought the S stood for Standardization
10651 < mst> Widdershins: that's the R for RFCs
10653 < LeoNerd> If I ever write a module for calculating phases of the moon,
10654 by the way, I will have to call it wanings.pm
10655 < LeoNerd> Just to really annoy everyone
10657 < ctr> yeah i dealt with amphetamine users
10660 < ctr> just get a heroin addiction liike a normal person
10662 < gordonfish> I once encountered a BSD based server that has '*'x8 as the
10663 password (yes, 8 asterixes)
10664 < mst> gordonfish: that's just gaulling
10665 * Grinnz is not sure if that was a pun or the actual British spelling
10667 < ggreer> https://hunter2.com/ wow that's an old reference
10668 < mst> does *******.com even resolve?
10669 < quanticle> mst: Of course it does
10670 < quanticle> You just copy and paste
10672 18:57 <@gwern> wow, oolong caught a lizard today... who just lost its tail
10674 18:58 <@gwern> the tail is still twitching >.<
10676 < errietta> the kitchen still smells, now the mop smells, and there's
10677 shampoo under the fridge
10678 < errietta> i think this is where i burn the flat down and move out
10680 < El_Che> most people that call themselves experts are lying :)
10681 < El_Che> they are lying to themselves or are consultants :)
10682 < mst> El_Che: por que no los dos
10683 < El_Che> mst: my cerebro está conectado en configuración binaria :)
10685 < LeoNerd> one-arg open() has its uses ;)
10686 <@mst> open 0, for example, to get a filehandle to the current script
10687 * Grinnz goes to find the mallet gnomes
10689 < Ralith> european economics: there exists a market, therefore we must
10690 distort it with halfassed redistribution policies
10691 < nshepperd> american economics: there exists a market, therefore we
10692 must distort it with halfassed monopolist protections
10694 < quicksilver> someone just opened a bottle of beer on the ceiling of
10696 < quicksilver> neat
10698 < Logos01> Oh dear. Just watched a youtube video on "The Satanic Panic". There
10699 was a youtube comment that was actually worth reading on it.
10700 < Logos01> "If you listen to a Nickelback album backwards, you hear satanic
10701 messages. Even worse, if you play it forwards you hear Nickelback."
10703 < errietta> *lifts frying pan*
10705 < errietta> *AAAAA*
10707 < Kassandry> WTF. Emojis.
10708 < triddle> emojikake
10709 < Kassandry> I didn't consent to this!
10710 < mst> Kassandry: 2019 hid the bell.
10712 <@sungo> it's a video turned into a gif. it's 2019.
10713 <@chargrill> the future is now
10714 <@mst> the future is here, it is drunk, and it is best not to make eye contact
10715 <@sungo> mst: you are not the future
10717 < feep> we expected computers to overtake us
10718 < feep> we did not expect it to be by means of us becoming retarded
10719 < feep> and yet-- ice cream.
10721 < rivyn> Bring back Alpha. :(
10722 < mst> insist on your right to bare ARMs
10723 < rivyn> bare arms get sunburn. I prefer to bear arms :P
10724 < mst> you can only shoot so many chip designers before you need to reload
10726 < Obormot\Arcturus> Is that the only way to have a good discussion about
10727 this? Literally just talking to myself in public like
10729 <@gwern> that sounds a lot like having a blog
10731 < mst> then because it was manchester and canal street every time I wandered
10732 out for a smoke I won a free twink and had to beat them off with a
10733 (metaphorical) stick
10734 < ilbelkyr> you know it's mst talking because he has to specify "metaphorical"
10736 < triddle> I feel let down, there was a video called "the truth about
10737 tesla batteries" and it's just about how good they are
10738 < triddle> if a title starts with "the truth about" the last thing I expect
10739 is the truth or for it to be good for who ever it's about
10741 < Mithaldu_> your code has a unique shape
10742 < Mithaldu_> like a very dense cactus
10744 <@teejay> I might end up being really boring and getting a T series thinkpad
10745 <@teejay> it will go nicely with the other IT contractor cliches like
10746 collecting receipts, staying in cheap hotels, and being
10749 * Zr40 started running outside again
10750 < kwispel> ha, running is the new coffee
10751 * sobel only runs with scissors
10752 < mst> I've always found it safer to leave scissoring to the WLW crowd
10754 * nshepperd_ was not aware of any cunnilingus in _khubla khan_
10756 < thrig> you might think the Imperial forces might skimp on having trash
10757 compactors near the detention block
10758 < gordonfish> I'm surprised they didn't have incinerators instead, though
10759 that might have resulted in a much shorter franchise
10761 * PanicAngel glances at the URL above and sees "Army veteran attacked
10762 milkshake outside polling station" ... removing the little words
10763 creates some bizarre headlines
10764 < Neth> it was bringing too many boys to the yard.
10770 * gwern thinks he's found a serious bug in his dog cloning code -_-
10772 <@gwern> anyway I realized with a slight tweak to my special forces dog
10773 cloning, I can get the success rates up massively
10775 < ChoHag> I... It just makes no sense.
10776 < ChoHag> I want a better universe than this.
10777 < triddle> oh shit I see the problem
10778 < triddle> you still have hope
10780 < thrig> disco is back... no wait, the switch just rebooted to 1970
10782 * genio glares in Spanish
10784 < Kassandry> Fly your freak flag high.
10786 < Kassandry> You have to have a flag. Or the British will claim you.
10788 < ilmari> yeah, but a _Pair had damn well better only be two items
10789 < ilmari> if someone goes constructing bogus _Pair objects themselves (there
10790 isn't even a ->new method), they get to keep all the halves
10792 < mst> I mean you could always just implement it using a Dockerfile
10794 < ChoHag> But I already occasionally flirt with the idea of death.
10796 < quanticle> I remember the last time I was in India, I was on the back
10797 of my cousin's motorcycle, and were going down this rather
10798 busy 4-lane (or it would be 4-lane if Indian traffic cared
10799 for such western decadences as lanes) thoroughfare
10801 < triddle> you mean chunks in the wine isn't a good sign?
10802 < ChoHag> It depends how close you are to the end.
10803 < Kassandry> You're not supposed to throw up in the bottle.
10805 < Rosemary> I am currently very aware that I have knees but I'm being
10806 paid quite a lot to do creative writing and say no to
10807 entitled students ;)
10809 <@Burrito> maybe we should have redundant cockpits
10810 <@Burrito> 6 pilots, 3 cockpits, plane only does anything if 2 cockpits agree
10811 <@mst> Old and busted: Boing 737 MAX()
10812 <@mst> New hotness: Boing 737 AVG()
10814 < simcop2387> pink_mist: well it is easy to add things to perlbot
10815 < perlbot> simcop2387: Stored pink_mist: well it is easy to add things to
10817 < mst> perlbot++ # live demo
10819 <@mako132> I <3 reading about failure
10821 <@rjbs> that's why I read your diary
10822 <@mako132> sorry about the sticky pages
10824 < xenu> the only letter of 'SOLID' i have no problem with is 'L'
10825 < mst> most software I work on is more SOILED
10826 < tm604> I'm generally not wild about using the bristol scale as the
10827 foundation of all software architecture
10829 < genio> In Windows. you can only turn the microphone off/on. and why the
10830 hell is cortana listening to everything I say by default?
10831 < huf> how else could it turn the microphone on when you tell it to?
10832 < huf> please at least try to think stuff through
10834 <@sungo> I nearly died in AK because K said "you up for a 5 mile hike" and
10835 failed to mention that it was 5 miles at 60deg up angle over gravel
10836 <@sungo> my apple watch was pretty sure it had been stolen
10837 <@sungo> "this can't be on the same wrist. really, there's no way"
10839 * kraih is old fashioned, my vacuum robot doesn't have wifi
10841 < Logos01> Though to be fair they do appear to have dedicated a significant
10842 portion of the station to arborculture/hydroponics for o2 cycling.
10843 < Logos01> And definitely none of that was used to grow coffee.
10844 < Logos01> (Because that would be against station regulations.)
10846 < phaylon> timebot: at 2019-16-14 18:00 <client>:trying out more direct
10847 legacy code insanity:60
10848 -!- timebot [~timebot@timebot.shadowcat-internal.shadowcat.uk0.bigv.io] quits
10849 < phaylon> well, that went well :)
10851 < Kassandry> Did you just suggest that some be *less* autistic in here?
10852 Are you going to ask people to drink less in here next?
10854 < mst> I am now really confused what we're doing wrong
10855 < tomaw> I think it's called javascript
10858 < PavelB> I just ran perl -i -pe 's/^\s+//' **/*.cs
10859 < PavelB> Meant to run perl -i -pe 's/^\s+$//' **/*.cs
10860 < mst> that's going to have unindented consequences
10862 < triddle> this weekend is ham radio field day and that's a great time to
10863 run an emergency operation exercise - bbiab disconnecting from
10865 -!- triddle has quit [Remote host closed the connection]
10867 <mst> doesn't mean I was right, but I was damn well trying to be
10868 <tomaw> that last line will be in your obituary
10870 < thrig> I like it when they install oracle by building in the tarball
10871 directory, then putting their production code and data there, too
10872 < tm604> that's perhaps the first time I've ever seen the phrase "I like
10873 it when they install oracle"
10875 < mst> yeah, this was one of those situations where *I* enjoyed myself
10876 but only because of my peculiar ideas of fun ;)
10877 < mdk> Your ideas of fun are still illegal in many countries on this planet :)
10879 < fuzzix> You could sing a song to cheer yourself up. A legacy software
10880 maintenance song. That's what I do - "It was a map, it was a MONSTER
10881 MAP! A monster map, it had 200 lines, it was a map, it was called in
10882 void context, a monster map, it modified $_, waa-ooh"
10884 < xenu> while ircii and vim have similar learning curve, the difference
10885 is when you master ircii you gain absolutely *nothing*
10886 < xq> you get a tool
10887 < xq> which you can use to connect to freenode and ask how to exit vim
10889 < macdice> (to be clear, i was a very junior person on that and had no
10890 architectural role, i was just handed an mqseries manual and
10891 told to make that data finish up over there please)
10893 < daemon> who the hell is chainsaw-weilder
10894 < anno> mst, i think
10895 < daemon> ah makes sense
10897 < Obormot\Meil> Hmmm
10898 * Obormot\Meil tries it
10899 < Obormot\Meil> Yes, that worked and I feel dumb, lol
10900 < Obormot\Meil> The best result I could've hoped for! Thanks :D
10902 <LeoNerd> The difference between BDSM and SAX parsers is that in a SAX
10903 parser the subs handle the DOM
10905 < genio> got it working without systemd. makes a lot more sense
10907 <cat-xeger> Blah. I am -so- not up to debugging why my local net sucks
10909 <cat-xeger> ... or maybe it was the cat on the AP ...
10911 < Walther> but yeah technically the goal is to train the model to do a
10912 faceswap on cats trailer and a fursuit photo
10914 < dakkar> I've just found `123.456.789.012` as an IPv4 address in $work code
10915 < dakkar> and it didn't break anything, because it was actually in a
10916 regex / deny-list thing
10917 < hobbs> Maybe they were preparing for IPv5
10919 < Obormot> And it's a real problem! You design your UI for elements
10920 having nice short English labels like "Tram Stop"...
10921 < Obormot> And then you localize into German and suddenly it's all
10922 "Straßenbahnhaltestelle"
10925 * ehuelsmann feels sarcasm dripping from the ceiling
10926 < thrig> they're in the walls! </aliens>
10928 < thrig> jesus died on the CROSS JOIN for your SQLs
10930 < Logos01> Also on /r/FuckImOld
10931 < Logos01> "I told an 18yo the other day that I used to get netflix delivered
10932 to me in the mail and I'm pretty sure he thought I was lying."
10933 < Logos01> That burns.
10935 < xocolatl> violent agreements are the best
10936 < sehrope> xocolatl: No they're the best.
10937 < mst> sehrope: NO! THEY'RE THE BEST!
10939 < Logos01> The moral of the story: "Never tell a sadist not to be nice to you."
10941 < triddle> i'm basically approaching my rifles with military discipline
10942 though it's autodidactic and more beer
10944 < xenu> macos updates are so slooooooooooow
10945 < guestkato> it takes time to pack all that value in such thin devices.
10946 < guestkato> and it forces the user to admire how it looks when inert,
10947 which is part of the User Experience.
10949 < schinckel> "What's a develo press?" "About 40 pounds."
10950 < mst> schinckel: henway
10951 < schinckel> Yeah, most develos can press about 15 henways
10953 < pirateFinn> "Country music is just farm emo."
10954 < Penfold> depends on the country: 90s country is 80s rock, with a
10955 fiddle; 2010's country is 2000's pop with a banjo :D
10957 -!- Topic for #london.pm: Heretical TONIGHT @ Belleville Brewery Tap
10958 17:36 <@DrHyde> ladies and gentlemen, it is time for a piss-up in a brewery
10960 @SwiftOnSecurity: I think a lot about how the 'You're Getting A Dell' dude got
10961 arrested for pot and it was a major news story.
10962 @JeffBrown781: It was a big story since we were always told pot was a Gateway
10965 < kd> could youse lovely people fill in <url> for my son's homework please?
10966 < mst> kd: done. though it was awful enough to do that my comment involved
10967 "ask Kieren Diment who mst is if this comment doesn't make sense"
10968 < kd> text message "dad, who's mst?"
10970 < RiversHaveWings> does any irc client actually do anything with @here/@all?
10971 < mst> mine does when it's connected to slack, because I configured it to
10972 < mst> but only on customer slacks where I can bill them for reading it
10973 < Logos01> mst: I was gonna say "rookie move" but ... shoulda known better.
10975 < Grinnz> my experience with mysql tells me, if you would assume mysql
10976 has a feature, it probably doesn't
10978 <mst> "calming the fuck down" is america's dump stat
10980 < phaylon> forget WHATWG, we need WHYTHEFUCKWG
10982 < nox> "I'm on qwertz" sounds like you are talking about anti-depressants.
10983 < nox> "qwertz 500mg"
10984 < Mithaldu_> i'd think qwertz being the german scheme it would be depressants
10985 < mst> brb writing on my psych med package with a sharpie
10987 The #Threadnought: A three-ring circus that happens to be on fire and where
10988 the clowns are running around yelling "throw kerosene on it, it'll help put
10989 it out". The popcorn is free and the clowns are amongst the worst people on
10990 earth. -- @FoogInc on twitter
10992 * huf finds some excellent html, handcrafted with the greatest care, from the
10993 highest quality bytes: <p>Hello, huf<//p><p><a href=/>Logout<//a><//p>
10994 < Altreus> looks free-range
10995 < Altreus> they didn't even wash it
10997 < klaus> at mst and Grinnz oh yea? you know what i think about your
10998 operator status you can shove it up your ass ban me i don't care
10999 -!- mode/#perl [+b *!*klaus@*.w109-208.abo.wanadoo.fr] by mst
11000 < Grinnz> well, he did ask
11002 <@mst> also, life's too short to bear grudges.
11003 < thrig> releasing a bear at your grudge might be fun
11004 < genio> what kind of bear? panda? pandas are cute
11007 < Mithaldu_> this is what happens if your localizers don't actually get to
11008 play the fucking game because your cheap ass only sent them an
11009 xls file and a jpg of two raised middle fingers
11011 < mst> also at some point I need to figure out how to convince the new
11012 hub that alh is old enough to have an O-line
11014 < perigrin> Wait till avi is old enough to vouch for him?
11016 < nox> Is there any big game studio whose CEO isn't a colossal ass?
11017 < ChoHag> Well the Japanese aren't all that tall usually.
11019 <@cat-xeger> I think my brain has left the building.
11020 <@sungo> mine too. though I think today it never made it inside and
11021 instead started a picket line outside objecting to unfair
11022 working conditions.
11024 < Jonis> veesh: more info? what os, version of postgres etc?
11025 < maschine> http://www.trout.me.uk/data.jpg
11026 < maschine> in before mst :p
11029 20:14 -!- ChoHag has quit [Ping timeout: 360 seconds]
11030 20:49 -!- ChoHag has joined #chat
11031 20:49 < ChoHag> It was DNS.
11033 < Dom> Curtains closed. Light breeze. Not too bad indoors. Outside is evil
11035 < mst> it took until an hour ago for me to admit to the existence of clothing
11036 < Dom> That was tempting, but it might have scared the children in the library
11038 <mst> it's probably better for your SAN score to not remember the details
11039 <mst> I sometimes wish I didn't
11040 <Mithaldu_> yeah, i also had getty yelling over it the entire time
11041 <mst> ... now I feel better and no longer want to trade
11043 < vincent> mst: my bad, I didn't see the -D in my plackup invocation...
11044 < vincent> now it all makes sense
11045 < mst> vincent: lololololol oops :D
11046 * vincent sets sail for pub to forget this painful experience
11048 <Mithaldu_> twitter based their system around the same brainworms as the US
11049 <mst> honestly I'm sort of amazed I haven't been reportbombed yet
11050 <Mithaldu_> i feel you haven't yet because most of your stuff is worded so
11051 academically most people don't realize you insulted them
11053 < jabberwok> i should dust off TECO. 1981 and we got this "Editor Macros"
11054 [for TECO] to run in it...
11055 < stephan48> am i too young or does "editor macros" really sounds awfully
11058 <@mako132> ugh, this old ticket is nothing but people's vacation auto
11059 replies in the comments
11060 * mako132 sprays it with lysol
11062 <%BinGOs> we have two factors, the username *and* the password!
11065 <@mst> permission denied: ass cannot be written, only pounded
11066 <@cat-xeger> Anyhow -- for context, that's a piece of 1/2" x 2" x 36"
11067 poplar from one of the big box lumber stores
11069 < jberger> (oh gods I've gone corporate speak)
11070 < Grinnz> we can circle back to that
11071 < Grinnz> when we have cycles free
11072 < Grinnz> ok, going to wash my mouth out with mountain dew
11075 < erry> oh wait rust is compiled
11077 < nox> erry: It's a DSL for making browsers, obviously it's compiled.
11079 < phaylon> lols. masses of cops outside, helicopters flying over, water
11080 cannons, loudspeakers telling people to unmask, loud chanting,
11081 thought I missed some large dmonstration or something
11082 < phaylon> turns out it's just soccer
11084 * davel exploded a can of expired Carlsberg over himself for lunch
11086 < SymbioticFemale> yeah the actual channel is ##P.O.R.N.
11087 < SymbioticFemale> they refused to unlock ##PORN
11088 < SymbioticFemale> which is a redirect to #youhavegottobekidding
11090 < jmac> My tombstone is just going to say "Wide character in print"
11092 < nox> There is a new woman in the theatre class,
11093 < nox> her name is Lou.
11094 < nox> My mom calls me Lou.
11095 < nox> The first five minutes of the class were really confusing.
11097 < revhippie> would you prefer - elsunless ($part =~ tr{.}{}c) {
11098 < mst> revhippie: roll a save against mallet gnome
11099 < revhippie> eval: [ int(rand 20) + 1 ]
11100 < perlbot> revhippie: [16]
11102 <Kassandry> "An alcoholic, a rapist, and a liar walk into a bar.
11103 Bartender says 'What'll it be, Justice Kavanaugh?'"
11105 < quanticle> I used to think that you needed <div> and <span>, but then
11106 someone pointed out that you can make <div> behave like
11107 <span> with "display: inline-block;" in CSS
11109 < mst> that sentence is based on feedback, I'm not *just* being a smug bastard
11110 < mst> (I'm totally being a smug bastard as well, mind)
11111 < MalphasWats> I get the impression that you deserve to :)
11112 < mst> well, obviously *I* like to think so
11114 < sobel> i guess most GUI based apps are really the mysql of apps
11115 < sobel> "the mysql nature"
11116 < DrEeevil> > electron
11117 < sobel> i don't wish to bring mongodb into this
11119 < daemon> I wonder if I can get vscode to spank me if I go over 80 cols
11120 < thrig> mallet gnome 2.0: now with optional paddle
11122 < pink_mist> I have many questions
11123 < pink_mist> I don't really want any answers though
11124 < pink_mist> I really don't
11127 < Altreus> root mean square
11128 < Altreus> my spirit average
11130 < mst> half way down the bottle
11131 < mst> my spirit level
11132 < thrig> absinthe better options...
11134 < bin_bash> we should nuke japan again
11135 <@mst> the incels would come out of their basements and riot for their tiddies
11136 < bin_bash> makes it easy to cull them
11139 < nox> Yeah but that baby simulator game is unrealistic,
11140 < nox> like, you can die from eating batteries IIRC,
11141 < nox> and I can confirm that doesn't kill a baby.
11142 < Kassandry> nox: What did you try that worked?
11144 1) all twitter accounts are feds
11145 2) never point a twitter account at anything you're not willing to destroy
11146 3) keep your finger off the mouse button until your tweet is on the target
11147 4) be sure of your target and its followers
11149 <@mst> Prodding 3: The Proddening
11150 <@mst> Prodding 2: Stun Gun Boogaloo
11151 < pink_mist> Prodding 4: Live Free and Prod Hard
11152 < thrig> Mallet Gnome Reloaded
11154 < LeoNerd> Ohwait except I can't go to LPW because I'm going to the perl5 core
11155 hackathon at the same time. :/
11156 < LeoNerd> Oh the irony of my being unable to attend both events to talk
11159 < mst> simcop2387: .. is context dependent because it hates you
11161 < huf> sir we require proper closed shoes in this establishment
11162 < huf> take your flip flops to mcdonalds
11164 < triddle> drinking some of the freedesktop koolaid has been an
11165 interesting experience
11166 < triddle> the problem is that it barely tastes like almonds until
11169 < Grinnz> oh god, php
11171 < erry> nox: I bet there's no dictator named Errietta
11173 < nox> Be the dictator you want to see in the world.
11174 < nox> “IT’S *THEIR* SERENE HIGHNESS YOU FUCKWADS”
11176 < mst> the goal is minimising the chance of the user ending up short a foot
11177 < simcop2387> i'd really love a problem where the user ends up with an
11178 extra foot they don't want or need.
11179 < thrig> easy, start with two users
11181 < tyldis> A legacy app at $ork does "require" on an entire folder. 109
11182 files. Can't go into more details without crying.
11183 < tyldis> No "use strict".
11184 < tyldis> At least there's 0% coverage so I don't have to maintain the tests
11186 < nox> mst: Well that's what "OH" indicates, no?
11187 < nox> I thought it stood for "Obviously Hitler".
11189 < nox> I feel like I just cursed myself into reading it that way forever now.
11191 < AdamJensen> XLV: lemme guess, you deny the Holocaust too? :P
11192 < XLV> AdamJensen, anybody with two brain cells does
11193 <@mst> XLV: I absolutely agree with that statement.
11194 < XLV> let me rephrase it. anybody with more than two...
11197 < feep> being in the market for a new phone since I just put my current
11198 phone in the washing machine
11200 -!- Altreus [~altreus@cumulus.altre.us] has joined #moose
11201 < Altreus> I have fought my way through the new weechat interface!
11202 < Altreus> um actually this is a catalyst question
11204 < johto> "When you arrive at pgconf, there will be three queues based on the
11205 letters of your first name. Please look on your ticket for which
11206 queue you should stand in!"
11207 < johto> Is this the new partitioning feature?
11209 < genio> ERROR 2006 (HY000) at line 581: MySQL server has gone away
11210 why on earth do I deal with this nonsense?
11211 < LeoNerd> CELEBRATE 2006 at line 581: MySQL server has finally gone away
11212 so you don't have to deal with its shit any more
11214 < DrEeevil> software raid *can* go very fast but it's difficult
11215 < DrEeevil> hardware raid asfn Ognoregn rg;nz;n :Aks
11216 fnALnf/.....................
11217 * DrEeevil had a 3ware moment
11219 < jmac> Cat is NOT allowed to walk on my keyboard when I am ssh'd into prod
11221 < nox> mozjs/third_party/python/pipenv/pipenv/vendor/pip9/_vendor/
11222 < nox> Yo dawg, heard you like vendoring so I put vendoring in your
11223 vendoring so you can vendor while you vendor.
11225 < mst> "we're beyond shotgun debugging and into stormtrooper debugging here"
11227 < LeoNerd> Who called it a `sub declaration` and not a `sub missive`?
11229 <@gwern> 'i'm sick of all these stylegan booths at burning man! it's so
11230 boring and predictable' 'hate the gan and not the playa, dude'
11232 < mst> headline of the day: Tennessee Deputy Sued Twice In The Same Day
11233 Over A Roadside Anal Search And A Forced Baptism
11234 < Kassandry> You can baptize someone with an anal search?
11236 < nshepperd2> Something something it's been an incredible journey but imgur
11237 is now pivoting away from showing images to focus on its core
11238 competencies, running advertising javascript and trolling
11240 < genio> lots of FROM foo, bar, baz too. :(
11241 < Grinnz> oh god, i usually only see that in sqlite
11242 < genio> I'm cringing left and right over here
11243 < thrig> LEFT OUTER CRINGE
11245 < mst> THERE ARE ACTUALLY TESTS
11246 < mst> do they work?
11247 < jnap> and they don't work at all
11250 < jnap> I meant to have a plan but I forgot.
11252 < genio> The internet suggests I have cancer, am experiencing a heart
11253 attack, have acid reflux, bruised/broke a bone, bruised some
11254 cartilage, fucked up a lung, pulled/tore some muscle, or
11255 otherwise am being a hypochondriac and should get over myself.
11257 < ttkp> when I was a little child, I dreamed of using arcane incantations
11258 and dark sigils to bend the universe to my will
11259 < ttkp> today, I am a perl programmer
11260 < ttkp> never stop dreaming
11262 < Getty> i had to totally care for the dog for 3/4 of a year, at first he
11264 < Getty> he never did what i said
11265 < Getty> now he loves me, and never does what i say
11267 < huf> ah yes, the secret to terrible performance
11268 < huf> .*? is usually kept deep beneath a monastery in switzerland
11270 < namespace> People take LSD and become convinced the universe is made
11272 < namespace> Is anyone ever convinced the universe is made out of suffering?
11275 < kd> tfw you can have a coherent conversation about propositional
11276 calculus versus predicate calculus with your offspring
11277 < kd> then follow it up with a spot of discussion about feminist politics
11278 < kd> mdk: ^^ I guess this is what you've got to look forward to
11280 < phaylon> gah. will have to do this the hard way
11282 < rindolf> veesh: where in .us ?
11283 < veesh> the land of the cleve
11284 < veesh> best place ever
11285 < veesh> if you don't include other places in the comparison
11287 <@mst> I like some changes australia has made to english
11288 <@mst> but I use "y'all" because USians are triggered by "you bunch of cunts"
11289 <@Burrito> mst: like 'cunt' being turned into a compliment?
11290 <@mst> Burrito: sniped
11292 < DrEeevil> I saw nodejs and found it amusing, like J and perl6 and
11293 OpenCOBOL and all this exotic weird stuff
11294 < DrEeevil> so I packaged it for gentoo, just because it's funny
11295 < DrEeevil> then people started using it
11297 <@cat-xeger> I have photographic evidence that I've slipped into a
11298 parallel universe... all four of my cats sitting on the
11299 same piece of furniture.
11302 <Mithaldu_> he's a furry
11303 <Mithaldu_> of course he's a trash disaster but not entirely bad :D
11305 < Kassandry> What the fuck did I just wake up to?
11306 < pirateFinn> the internet?
11309 * DrHyde remembers UUCP
11310 * DrHyde runs around with his brain on fire
11312 < mst> can't even get packets to it in the first place from the looks of it
11313 < mst> trace gets as far as be100-1042.rbx-g2-nc5.fr.eu then barfs
11314 < huf> so france is down again
11315 < huf> i bet it was the fucking ardennes, they'll never learn
11317 < perlbot> @FederalSpyGuy perhaps youre english skills are substandard
11318 < thrig> ahh the insults of yore
11319 < simcop2387> ur, your, you're and yore
11320 < thrig> alas poor yourick, I knew him well
11322 < ether> oh great, if I move my response logging to a $c->on(finish ..),
11323 my logging tests fail
11324 < ether> async is awesmoe sometimes :)
11326 < nox> "Is buttcheeks one word or should I spread them apart?"
11329 < nox> the Mario streamer sponsorised by Redbull can't play Death
11330 Stranding live because it's sponsorised by Monster.
11331 < nox> What a timeline.
11333 * davidfetter wonders whether he's been too clever, and should just have
11334 put it right before "return result"
11335 < RhodiumToad> that would also be wrong
11337 <@sungo> sadly, vets won't give people meds
11339 < corwin> Somehow I have enabled subliminal-cats-mode in Windows 10.
11340 < corwin> I have Wallpaper Engine running.
11341 < corwin> But every once in a while a rand cat pic replaces my wallpaper.
11342 < corwin> If this is some sort of conspiracy mark me down as a collaborator.
11344 <erry> It's a ~ separated file
11345 <erry> because CSV is too hard
11346 <erry> and some have further data that is | separated within the fields
11347 <erry> because potatoes
11349 How do you greet a lawyer with an IQ of 100? "Hi Bob"
11350 How about one with an IQ of 80? "Good morning, your Honor"
11351 How about one with an IQ of 60? "Well hello, Congressman!"
11353 < mst> that sentence is really ambiguous without knowing which one of
11354 them you fucked, btw
11355 < nox> mst: I know.
11356 < nox> mst: You don't know who I fucked, but I definitely fucked English.
11358 <@sungo> depends, in my experience. large internal automation teams in
11359 general, yes, prefer to be called DevOps. the large internal
11360 automation team created specifically to manage AWS administrivia,
11361 in my experience, prefer to be called "The Cursed"
11363 < insomnia> laundry cat is going nuts
11364 < insomnia> soon as I take it out she'll chase me down the hall with it
11366 < insomnia> try to fold laundry and the laundry has teeth & claws.
11368 <dysfun_> wait we're not playing this game again
11370 <dysfun_> last time we started comparing sex lives you ended up OH
11373 <+nixonix> yeah i know
11374 <@mst> sorry. took your question as genuine rather than sarcastic.
11375 <@mst> totally works as sarcasm on a re-read too :D
11376 <+nixonix> it wasnt either this time. i just type shit and see what happens
11378 < nox> phaylon: Please stay where you are,
11379 < nox> the police of too many negations in the same sentence is coming for you
11380 < nox> stay calm and obey their directives.
11381 < phaylon> nox: I wouldn't be unsurprised if they didn't decide not to
11383 < Winterbay> bingely bingely beep?
11384 < Kincaid> would you like to set a reminder?
11385 < hikari> No, fuck off.
11386 < Kincaid> would you like to set a reminder to fuck off later?
11388 < feep> all talk is pointless
11389 < feep> life is pointless
11390 < feep> death is the only escape
11391 < feep> (this is an irc channel. chancellor, pointless is our speciality.)
11393 <erry> fat shamers: we shouldn't encourage the fatties or they'll stay fat
11394 <erry> me, a fatty: discovers fb group of other fatties, joins
11395 <erry> THIS IS WHERE WE PLAN THE TAKEOVER OF THE WORLD
11396 <erry> then we feed them
11398 < triddle> they ruined a perfectly good workstation. just look at it:
11401 < Altreus> "just" to mst is not in the realms of "just" for everyone else
11403 <@alh> mst: I don't age man. When you have no hips to bust I'll still be
11404 getting picked up by random PHPers
11406 < quanticle> I think it's a fact that the more socialist you are, the better
11409 < roshambo> gaetz strikes me as above average intelligence who's on third
11410 base of the dark triad :P
11411 < roshambo> the guy's teeth freak me out
11412 < roshambo> he's like a vampire horse
11414 < jberger> LeoNerd: well let's crank it up a notch, retweeted from @perlmojo
11415 < LeoNerd> A blast from your spice-weasel?
11416 < mst> LeoNerd: I think that's more your kink than ours
11417 < LeoNerd> <Comment></Comment>
11419 <@simcop2387> oh sorry, eat a *bowl* of dicks.
11420 < LeoNerd> A bowl is preferrable to a bag.. easier to put the sauce on
11421 < mst> is it spiceweasel flavoured?
11422 < LeoNerd> .. bah, faster than I could type :P
11424 03:17 <Kassandry> Sec.
11426 03:19 <Kassandry> Cat just murdered a mouse
11427 03:19 <mst> good kitty :D
11429 <@sungo> at least in .ca, usps can't thieve your packages
11430 <@cat-xeger> No ... but canada post still thinks they're going to deliver
11431 my package on dec 4th ...
11432 <@cat-xeger> ... but having just checked, they don't mention which year.
11434 Smuggler My pilots don't have accidents.
11435 Ivanova: They will. I'll see to it.
11436 Smuggler: You wouldn't!
11437 Ivanova: Really? I've got a 200-megawatt pulse cannon that says otherwise.
11439 < chloekek> Oh is it fosdem again? COol!
11440 < chloekek> I mean: fosdamn I forgot to go again
11442 < erry> speaking of deadly plagues, i dont 'feel 100% today
11443 < erry> oh well, RIP me I guess
11444 < triddle> don't panic it could be all kinds of stuff, cancer for instance
11446 < xenu> while building perl i pressed ctrl-c which resulted in the following:
11447 < xenu> NNMMAAKKEE :: ffaattaall eerrrroorr UU11005588:: NMAKE :
11448 fatal error U1077: termtineatremdi nbayt euds ebry
11451 <@ct> I knew Ryzen ran warm, but damn
11452 <@hobbs> well it's less watts-per-blah than comparable intel
11453 <@hobbs> it's just capable of a lot of blah
11455 < triddle> you have now failed as a nutritionist, give me the fucking
11458 < LeoNerd> I don't want to have to double-bounce it
11459 < mst> LeoNerd: see that just sounds like the whole "two condoms thing"
11460 < mst> oh, wait, that's double-bagging it, isn't it
11461 < LeoNerd> Not to be confused with double-dipping either
11463 < ggreer> > ! 'none' driver reported an issue: exec: "systemctl":
11464 executable file not found in $PATH
11465 < ggreer> > Exited with code exit status 69
11467 <@ct> someone has written some code that is doing DNS lookups ignoring
11468 cache but damned if I can find it
11469 <@genehack> ct: _you_ don't need to find it. block the DNS lookups, and
11470 the person who wrote the code will find *you*.
11472 < quicksilver> Shadowcat are the people you get in when there are strange
11473 smells coming from the data centre and of the last three
11474 juniors you hired, one went mad, one joined the circus, and
11475 one hasn't been seen since two weeks ago on Thursday
11477 < triddle> one sec my paranoid security is keeping me out of my own VPS
11478 because I didn't finish setting up this workstation after I
11481 < kwispel> it's all fun when it's new and exciting - but finishing the
11482 project involves doing boring stuff, procrastination becomes
11483 the norm and people start to complain...
11484 < chloekek> 80/20 rule, 20 hours fun, 80 hours boring maintenance.
11486 < kraih> on second though, $promise->force looks kinda weird
11487 < mst> kraih: write it scheme style, (force $promise)
11488 < kraih> the unicode spec really needs that picard facepalm emoji
11490 <@gwern> yeah, all the california physical culture, anti-vax, granola,
11491 nudism, all of this seems to trace historically back to germany.
11492 <@gwern> no one does rationality and science and technology quite like
11493 the germans... but also no one goes insane quite like the germans
11495 <erry> on_delete=models.PROTECT
11496 <erry> he models.PROTECC
11497 <erry> he models.ATTACC
11498 <erry> but most importantly, he overflow the STACC
11500 < nox> Some people have "blocked by $someone" in their bio,
11501 < nox> I feel like "tolerated by mst" is way cooler. :P
11503 < Khoth> Really if I go to work and say "hey let's change the language we
11504 write our stuff in" then everyone including me will stab me
11506 < lavalike> the most hilarious piece of news I saw was how people ransacked
11507 all of the pasta on the shelves of some supermarket in lombardy, a
11508 high case count region in italy, but they left the penne lisce
11509 there, you really see people preferences in these times haha
11511 < pink_mist> mst: know what I just realised? I'm you, but with a pink eye
11513 < mst> jberger (one of the perl crew) referred to my presence in channels
11514 and etc. as 'mst as a service'
11515 < nox> mst: So... Uber but for Chlamydia?
11517 < castaway> I ran outta cluebats
11518 * TBSliver rings up an order for another 200 tonnes
11519 < TBSliver> should keep us going for a month or so :P
11521 <@Fuchs> yeah, if I were Voldemort and had to hide one of these
11522 horcruxes I'd choose an IRC topic
11523 <@Fuchs> that, or the JIRA UI
11525 <kbk> reaches for teapot, pours out a nice hot cup of tempest.
11527 < mst> I'm also impressed by him saying "I have an N-tier architecture"
11528 < mst> like, yes, definitionally
11529 < quicksilver> HALP I ACCIDENTALLY THE N-TIER INTERNET
11530 < mst> ... I hate you
11532 <erry> so this golang reverse proxy was doing the SSI
11533 <erry> but also, golang has a horrible regexp engine
11534 <erry> so the golang proxy also shipped with a nginx server
11535 <erry> which it used as a regex engine
11537 < ether> dzil optimizes for end users and puts all the pain on the
11538 author, but you get to customize your type and level of pain,
11539 which is nice at least :)
11540 < ether> and some of us enjoy the pain if we get to control it
11542 < triddle> one party, two brands? make one anti-democrat and the other
11543 anti-republican and don't tell people it's the same party?
11544 < triddle> then in 20 years go SURPRISE! You were cooperating the whole time
11546 <@ct> I rarely watch anything more than once but watched S01 twice
11547 <@ct> I mean, I've seen every episode of The West Wing at least five
11548 times, but a story about a Washington where actions have
11549 consequences is more medicinal than entertainment.
11551 < nox> This fucking country…
11552 < nox> We can't spell, so #coronvirus is trending.
11554 <@chargrill> damn, coronavirus is more well traveled than i am. #jealous
11555 <@cat-xeger> Didn't think you were particularly well travelled :P
11556 <@chargrill> i've gotten around a bit
11557 <@cat-xeger> So I've heard... but I didn't think you meant _travel_ :P
11559 < nox> At my former workplace, I would say puns constantly and I reached a
11560 level where there could be silence for 20s and suddenly someone yells
11562 < nox> because they had just got the pun and it was fucking bad.
11564 <@saturn2> also, if you get the opportunity to go back and kill someone,
11565 please make it lennart poettering and not hitler
11567 < ether> there always seem to be some perl jobs when I've gone looking
11568 < ether> I can think of half a dozen leads in North America
11569 < thrig> and at least one Leeds in England
11571 < chloekek> This is the worst way to film slides ever.
11572 < chloekek> Whoever picked that camera angle should have a corner shoved
11573 up their butt at the very same angle.
11575 < kd> email to boss from just now
11576 < kd> yeah cool. We've made progress. Things work badly. That means
11577 we're 90% done, and around 920% left to go.
11579 < kd> indeed I learned everything I know from you ... which is disturbing
11580 < mst> ... to me also
11582 <@gwern> the key to understand ledger, I feel, is to understand it's a
11584 < quanticle> gwern: Really? I thought it was a bunch of big trucks,
11585 hauling my money from account to account
11587 < thrig> the iambic pentameter needs work
11588 < mst> we need a formal standard for the penta so we can calibrate the meter
11589 < thrig> probably the distance shakespeare travels after being shot from
11592 < vincent> guess I'll try it and see if I'm getting insane in the process
11593 < mst> in the case of me and thee I think it's better to worry about
11594 accidentally being driven *sane*
11595 < vincent> let's hope sanity is an angular measure
11597 <@gwern> ...how do you go from 1.2tb to 0.067tb?
11598 < shawwn> no no, 67 gigs of furry porn images. 1161.465GB of furry porn videos
11600 < tyldis> I just finished a script to backup my vacuum robot daily.
11603 < genio> I trust facebook as much as I do a knife-weilding clown coming
11605 < genio> Then again, I live in FL, so I trust our state government
11608 * cat-xeger got a delivery today from either the UK or EU ... labeled
11610 <@mst> I thought you made glue out of horses, not shampoo
11611 <@cat-xeger> As it turns out, it's actually a rubber bucket...
11613 < LeoNerd> Hum... well..er... I guess it works :)
11615 < ilmari> no need to $fret ;)
11616 < LeoNerd> No, fretting will involve t/81async-method+dynamically.t
11618 < LeoNerd> That's a 3-way interaction between three of my modules
11619 < mst> .oO "good thing we're both experienced at those"
11620 < LeoNerd> While I've nothing against a threesome, practically they get a lot
11621 more complex due to all the extra interactions between moving parts
11623 < LeoNerd> ^-- are these messages suitably understandable?
11624 < tom_m> we'll provide feedback on that tomorrow when we put this into prod!
11625 < LeoNerd> Don't scare me with such things :P
11626 < tom_m> \N{COMBINING LOOK OF INNOCENCE}
11628 <erry> oh good, company wide gantt chart, barf
11630 < ology> My client put $a all over his code. I have told him "NO!" and he
11631 agrees now. Fortunately there is no sorting in his source ... yet.
11632 < thrig> sort old.pl > new.pl
11633 * ology pushes thrig down the stairs
11635 < shawwn> “Learn how some of our most successful customers utilize the
11636 Figure Eight platform to annotate training data for a wide
11637 array of machine learning projects."
11638 < shawwn> I wonder if they would support furdick classification..
11640 < Kassandry> SC2 Kerrigan has yellow stripes from how hard she was hit
11643 < kwispel> so there is a french guy who ran a marathon...on his balcony
11644 < kwispel> france is definitely going insane, first there are
11645 reports of people drinking box wine, and now this
11646 < xocolatl> we're not insane, we're in seine
11648 < Obormot> This is my dream job title
11649 < Obormot> Commissar of Enlightenment
11650 < Obormot> Having the New York Times accuse me of calculated moral depravity
11651 would be my career goal.
11653 <@mst> since master is basically a wasteland with more cobwebs than hillary's
11654 vagina and 'develop' is the new blac^Wmaster, I've told github to give
11655 us 'develop' on a fresh clone by default so nobody else unknowingly
11656 stumbles into the haunted grotto while setting up a new dev env
11658 < bay-max> For some reason when ever I bring out the tardis, two guys who
11659 constantly air-guitar keep showing up and asking to borrow it.
11661 <@ct> Trent Reznor looks like he should be picking his kids up from soccer now
11662 <@ct> which is just mind blowing
11663 <@gizmomathboy> "I want to cheer for you like an animal"
11665 < triddle> the virus won
11666 < Kassandry> Well, yes, I was playing Plague Inc on Mega Brutal. Of
11669 < genio> I was here working on a few data migration scripts. Started
11670 getting errors and wondering what's going on because the changes
11671 I made had nothing to do with the google section
11672 < genio> "How the hell'd I break that?!?" ... "Oh, Google's down"
11674 < nox> Meanwhile our Minister of Education said that the national exam at
11675 the end of high school will be happening in time this year,
11676 < nox> so it's probably cancelled.
11677 < nox> Whatever he says, the opposite happens.
11679 < mdk> It's at times like these that I am thankful I have some smart, and
11680 truly fucking funny yet cruelly sarcastic people to help me... oh,
11683 < ptrcmd> perhaps having lots of fake news is just what the path to
11684 singularity looks like
11685 < shawwn> I mean, we’ve got three or four horsemen kicking around right now
11686 < shawwn> a singularity would be a nice distraction
11688 < Obormot> Another way to know if it is a jumping spider is to see whether
11689 it is *completely adorable*
11691 < gordonfish> (The original cert appeared to have an expiration date of
11692 1970, and I guess the newer versions of openssl lack
11693 libfluxcapacitor support.)
11695 < nshepperd2> fine then, I'll do things to prove shminux wrong
11696 < Obormot> You know what
11697 < Obormot> "to prove shminux wrong" is an excellent reason to do things
11698 < Obormot> In fact, it just may be the solution to free will
11700 < mst> shawwn: [insert montage here]
11701 < shawwn> mst: if only AI training were as cool
11702 < shawwn> my montage would look like slow weight gain and back problems
11705 <Kassandry> That was so British I almost felt compelled make some tea and
11706 conquer part of Africa.
11708 <@cat-xeger> Bugger. Horse hair.
11710 < Mithaldu_> holy shit, mst is going to bed at midnight
11711 < Mithaldu_> everything is fucked
11712 < pirateFinn> I mean the pub is closed, so shouldnt surprise you lol
11714 < Dom> Ah, sleet. How lovely. Spring must be here.
11716 <erry> the more i look at this microlyth
11717 <erry> the more wtf the sql queries are
11718 <erry> [link redacted in the name of erry's NDAs and the reader's SAN points]
11719 <erry> what in god's flat earth is that query even trying to do?
11721 <@gwern> 'The German Panzer 35(t) tanks and anti-tank weapons were
11722 ineffective against the Soviet heavy tanks, some of which were
11723 out of ammunition but closed in and destroyed German antitank
11724 guns by driving over them.[13][14][g]' how very soviet
11726 < Altreus> I do like some features of bash. FD handling is one of them
11727 < huf_> there may be a better language inside shell, trying to get out
11728 < Grinnz> I like the feature of bash where you can run something else
11729 written in a sane language
11731 <@gwern> in case anyone was wondering, the ahegao model is still training
11732 < ggreer> I was not and now I'm considering drinking a handle of vodka so
11733 that I will not have to know this fact
11735 < huf_> 127.0.0.1 must be the most exhausted ip
11736 < huf_> up every day at the crack of localhost
11738 The second problem is that there seem to be a huge collection of choices for
11739 the various pieces of such an environment (and some of them even work).
11741 < huf_> why is it that the plot can thicken but it cant become tumescent
11744 < Betawolf> Is Robomot reading a different tweet to me, or is my browser
11745 posessed by the Holy Ghost?
11746 < mst> Betawolf: "tweet's haunted"
11747 <@gwern> run templeos in your browser and it will be
11749 < pingu4> i just had a scam email from the "nhs" asking for donations
11750 < xenu> WHO and Swiss Philanthropy Foundation asked me for the same
11751 < xenu> it's pretty good timing because i've just won 1 million dollars
11752 in a "facebook lottery"
11754 < cat-xeger> I have a landline, know what the number is, and currenly
11755 have a rotary dial phone connected to it.
11756 < cat-xeger> Also, when the rapture comes, I _will_ have root.
11758 < random> argh this fuxlibg keyboard.
11760 < quanticle> capisce: What we need to do is detach Sweden from Europe
11761 < quanticle> Sail it all the way around Africa, and put it over by Japan
11762 < capisce> you'd need to temporarily detach Norway too to let them out
11763 < Betawolf> I think it's on a hinge
11765 < ether> that's the main qualifier I use to distinguish a junior
11766 programmer from an intermediate
11767 < ether> can you humble yourself enough to ask a dumb question on irc
11768 < Altreus> Depends. Is mst going to see it?
11770 < gordonfish> enum Bool { True, False, FileNotFound };
11772 * ovid notes that he decided not to change his nick to "covid"
11774 < LeoNerd> Either I'm using it wrong, or parse_subsignature() gets upset
11775 by empty signatures
11776 < LeoNerd> And I don't think I'm using it wrong, because I wrote it so
11777 (think) I know how to use it
11779 < Mithaldu> I actually declined bringing this up earlier because there were
11780 better points to bring up that are actually on topic, but this
11781 accusation is 100% dumbfucked. Please stop being so utterly
11784 -!- ovid is now known as covid
11786 < FunkyBob> my friend was explaining about the two great books on cheese
11787 making she has. one the author is near fanatical about cleanliness
11788 and perfect measures, the other is basically ... "Haven't got some
11789 cultures? Shove your hands in for 10 seconds..."
11791 < ether> it sure does suck to have to try to mind-meld with people on
11792 another continent to derive requirements, though
11793 < ether> but, as I've said before, I'm married, so I'm not *terrible* at
11796 < mst> A true english gentlemen keeps his own council
11797 < huf_> where does he keep it
11798 < huf_> and just how many people are in a single gentlemEn?
11799 < tm604> depends on how successful the council meeting was
11801 <@mst> I forget ovid does this strange and wondrous thing called "polite"
11802 <@mst> never understood it myself
11806 < nox> I love this quote from POTUS Churchill: “Those who give up causality
11807 for correlation deserve neither and will lose both”. Food for thought!
11809 <sevvie> There is a thing. That exists.
11810 <sevvie> Called a sushi burrito.
11811 <sevvie> Wonderful things happen when you legalize guns, weed, gambling, and
11814 < mst> honestly I think my mother died when she did because her voice had gone
11815 enough she couldn't tell people they were wrong anymore
11816 <@gwern> it was heart failure. her heart was broken seeing everyone do
11819 < deko> I made my first brötchen (bread rolls?) with "wild" yeast today.
11820 Worked like a charm and even tastes better. amazing.
11821 < Zr40> feral yeast
11824 < thowe> There is something about seeing mst flatly drop the sweet Perl
11825 truth and then grumble that comforts me and makes the world seem
11826 like everything is gonna be OK.
11828 < nshepperd2> if denial isn't working, you're not using enough of it
11830 < Betawolf> My wife used to worry about our cat going out when the
11831 weather was bad at night, until I pointed out that from her
11832 record, she _was_ the scary thing little mammals should be
11833 afraid of on a dark and stormy night.
11835 < Betawolf> oh, so it's mostly a sad person with wet feet
11837 < nox> mst: You should have mentioned you want pandas dead to that dumb vegan.
11838 < mst> nox: that was a fight club quote :D
11839 < nox> mst: I can't talk about that.
11841 < huf_> this particular kind of red ale is basically social democracy
11842 forced from the capitalist beer manufacturer elite by the looming
11843 horror of microbrew communism
11845 < mst> humans? learning lessons? don't be silly
11846 < FunkyBob> that's crazy talk!
11847 < FunkyBob> I learned that... oh, wait, shit.
11849 < pie_[bnc]> "I'm not being a smartass I just think like this"
11850 < pie_[bnc]> ok maybe I'm being a bit of a smartass
11851 < pie_[bnc]> it's also an occupational hazard
11852 < pie_[bnc]> when you're doing programming >_>
11857 < pewterfish> fthagn
11859 <alice> Anybody else willing to cover tech support since bob just silently
11860 bailed on me because he prefers animal crossing over work?
11861 <chris> Look, some people have turnips to sell
11862 <chris> It's not my fault, I've got a mortgage to pay
11864 -!- boxr [~boxr@panopticon.cybergaraget.org] has joined #perl
11867 * mst approves of calling your irssi host panopticon
11869 < mst> ... misparsed Pascal's Pensees as Pascal's Penises
11870 < Betawolf> just a variant of Pascal's mugging targeted at getting laid.
11871 < mst> I, I, Pascal's buttplugging
11872 < mst> ... because you're Wirth it
11874 < initself> imagine how many smart people are in the shadows
11875 < mst> give me a flamethrower and I'll find out
11876 < mohawk> do not give mst a flamethrower
11877 < mohawk> remember last time
11879 < Kassandry> Bananas are unrealistically large anyway.
11880 < mdk> Only next to some people :)
11881 < Kassandry> True. True.
11883 < Kassandry> Shitting aunts, I had a bad run....
11884 < mst> bad runs would explain why the aunts were shitting, admittedly
11885 < Kassandry> Me: You don't look so good. Aunt: Arse is haunted. Me: What?
11886 Aunt: *grabs bog roll and returns to bathroom* Arse is haunted
11888 <@KT_So_It_Goes> if I find the fucker who ate the bat I’m locking him in my
11889 house with my wife and kids for a whole year
11890 <@KT_So_It_Goes> hope you like making mac & cheese and watching frozen 2 you
11893 < pirateFinn> Nah my fav is "why are all these conversations like this?
11894 just once someone could actually interact with my arguments
11895 maybe someone could convince me"
11896 < pirateFinn> Like oh honey we tried
11898 <@ccooke> i have decided to find the conspiracy theories comforting
11899 <@ccooke> i mean, it proves that humans are still absolutely, fully human
11900 in all circumstances ;-)
11902 22:24 -!- Uniaika has quit [Killed (Sigyn (Spam is off topic on freenode.))]
11903 23:14 -!- Uniaika [~uniaika@163.172.211.189] has joined #irssi
11904 23:16 < mst> Uniaika: you're an idiot. welcome back :D
11905 23:16 < href> I've witnessed the despair live IRL, mst, it was worth it.
11907 < aquanight> a == b & c -> (a == b) & c
11908 < huf_> who cares about that one
11909 < huf_> it's not like you do bit manipulation in c
11911 < shminux> “You know, people think mathematics is complicated.
11912 Mathematics is the simple bit. It’s the stuff we can
11913 understand. It’s cats that are complicated”
11915 < Obormot> We have the best bagels
11916 < Obormot> The best pizza
11917 < Obormot> The best water
11918 < Obormot> The best coronavirus infections count
11920 * quanticle read '100b Childrens' Sky' as '8 Childrens' Sky'
11922 <@ether> hubs just fixed the bird feeder that the bear smashed
11923 <@ether> we really shouldn't be feeding the birds at all, as it's an
11924 attractant.. but it's the cat's tv
11926 < Ai9zO5AP> what do you suggest for deeplearning ?
11927 < mst> get a good book and go down a mine shaft?
11928 < thrig> https://www.gutenberg.org/files/18857/18857-h/18857-h.htm
11930 < genio> Woo. Atlassian made a UI/UX change that doesn't outright stink
11931 this time. Navigation makes sense again
11932 < huf_> they must all be dying from covid and delirious from fever
11933 < huf_> because that's seriously out of character for them, i'm worried
11935 < mst> (he says, for at least the fourth time now)
11936 < thrig> ." FORTH TIME
11938 < Kassandry> erry makes a decent straight man
11939 < erry> i'm panromantic
11940 < Kassandry> erry: Yup. *pats* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straight_man
11943 <@murb> PC LOAD LETTUCE
11945 <erry> me: thinks of all the edge cases that can come up
11946 <erry> PM: <surprised pikachu face>
11947 <erry> i think i broke the PM
11948 <erry> he can't help me anymore
11950 <@BinGOs> INSERT COLON
11951 <@mst> COCK_MONOTONIC
11952 <@ilmari> BinGOs: or as I had done 16 years ago: EXTRACT COLON
11953 <@mst> ilmari: "no, no, no, I said *prolog*"
11955 < mst> pink_mist: BLUBBER
11956 < pink_mist> MACADAMIA
11957 < mst> BLUBBER GAZEEEBO
11958 < pink_mist> BULBOUS BOUFFANT
11960 < kd> it's nice not to be working for hyena capitalists (aka private equity)
11962 < mst> nothing quite as funny as *setting* $_[0] in a method
11963 < mst> that replaces the caller's copy of the object with something else
11964 < mst> but not anybody else's
11965 < LeoNerd> Ohfuck I should set SvREADONLY on $self in Object::Pad methods
11967 < mst> prototypes are in the "I always regret this" category
11968 < mst> much like watersports at an orgy, no matter how much fun it seems at
11969 the time, eventually somebody'll get splashed who wasn't expecting it
11970 < ether> mst: I always knew that PPE would come in handy
11972 < huf_> what the fuck am i supposed to have done now?
11973 < mst> I've no idea, but that's not going to stop me blaming you for it
11974 < huf_> fucking anglos
11976 < Mithaldu_> and then he talked about his experiences dating on grindr
11977 < Mithaldu_> (a lot of the guys on grindr are so incredibly thirsty
11978 they're like lemming jumping off a cliff just because there
11979 might be a dick at the bottom)
11981 <@gwern> 'wouldn't it be nice if everyone just' - no, everyone will not just.
11982 everyone has never just justed in history, and they aren't going to
11983 start now, and if they did, others would anti-just to exploit it.
11985 < mst> Obormot: have you read the books?
11986 < Obormot> if I'd read them I wouldn't have to doubt, I could just disagree
11987 < mst> then we must duel for the honour of Richard Morgan
11988 < mst> as weapons, I choose a cliff and an angry faggot
11990 < vincent> also one crash was definitely caused by *logging* utf-8
11991 encoded strings to an ascii channel, and I hate my life for
11992 having to learn enough python to fix that
11994 < nox> It's connaisseur in French, from the verb connaitre,
11995 < nox> that "o" offends me.
11996 < Mithaldu_> i'll make a note to say that word as often as i can around french
11997 < Mithaldu_> konnossör
11999 < simcop2387> i'm starting on hour three of the daily standup
12001 < ttkp> was about to pose a question here, and an imagined answer from
12002 mst popped into my head.
12003 < ttkp> #perl, what have you done to me?
12005 < tom_m> s/compatible with/similar to/ ?
12006 < Grinnz> "may remind you of the flavor of"
12007 < LeoNerd> "Has subtle hints of burned oak and ..."
12008 < Grinnz> "was once stored in a warehouse with"
12010 < tm604> also it only counts as poetry when it comes from the XS region
12011 of cpan, everything else is just sparkling perl
12013 < Grinnz> probably about time for me to remove that and make a v1 so it
12015 < mst> Grinnz: [very pick up artist voice] but alpha is good
12016 < Grinnz> [john oliver stare]
12018 <mst> you're allowed to poke into your *own* internals
12020 < rewt> huf: you said it too
12021 < huf> rewt: yes, but *I* knew i was joking :D
12022 < huf> i've got inside information
12025 < LeoNerd> There is /a/ spec yes. It's possible someone somewhere follows it.
12027 < Altreus> I know enough about IRC never to write a client for it
12029 < mst> the alternative would've been writing CSS and I don't know how
12030 < erry> * { font-family: 'Comic sans'; }
12031 < mst> ... is it still a rule zero violation if somebody else sets you on fire
12032 < erry> mst: don't worry, just keep encouraging me to cook..
12034 < tom_m> so what's savestack 53 when it's self-isolating at home?
12036 < Obormot> When you comment your code, you are helping racists hack and
12037 exploit disadvantaged persons
12038 < Obormot> Clear variable naming is transphobia.
12039 < nshepperd2> many eyes make microaggressions
12041 < mst> ${(rand() > 0.5 ? \$@ : \$!)} = $error; 0;
12042 < tm604> true, I guess you could dualvar a (0, $error) as well
12043 < huf> if the talent in this channel actually applied itself to writing
12044 the very worst code ever, it'd be amazing
12046 < LeoNerd> What crazy is this that meets me after my nice relaxing bath??
12048 < Grinnz> if someone hacked your respective routers and added a rule to
12049 drop all outgoing packets, i would not be terribly sad
12051 < mst> (that was supposed to be a compliment, even if it was written in en_MST)
12052 < Altreus> thanks :P I've also learned to speak en_MST
12053 < Altreus> honestly mst has also come a long way, because time was he'd
12054 never admit that he intended a compliment
12056 < nox> you still have 30 minutes
12057 < mst> nox: 22 hours ago.
12058 < mst> 'expired' is *past* tense
12059 < nox> mst: What can I say, I prefer vags, so I skipped the D.
12061 < erry> mst: wait until you see our home baked pubsub
12062 < erry> aka "redis OOM prod outage help"
12063 < Kassandry> erry: They're generally called "waitstaff" not "pubsubs"
12065 < adiabatic> What if the WHO eventually catches up to the banned
12066 libertarian space dogs on Twitter and the greater
12067 misinformation danger comes from YouTubers?
12069 <erry> > now hiring happy people
12070 <erry> discrimination like this is why it's hard to get jobs
12072 < yanmaani> I feel the sort of childish glee only a programmer could feel
12073 from seeing "Test!" printed on a computer screen...
12075 <sobel> is it wrong to wear a sandwich board sign that says "PHP
12076 DEVELOPER - $20 to slap me"
12077 <sobel> A: yes, $20 is not a competitive rate
12079 < mst> nox: you may need http://trout.me.uk/you.jpg
12080 <JoyByte> In American Sign Language there's an idiom "train zoom" lol
12081 that picture is the perfect representation of its meaning
12083 < mst> "async sub, it's for perl *as well* as IRC typefucking"
12084 < LeoNerd> Ohgreat now I'm wondering if there's any way I can make some sort
12085 of distinction between the inner machinery and the outer interface
12086 of a module/class/... by calling them a "bottom sub" vs "top sub"
12088 <Kassandry> And I say I need weed, but it's not for me. The cat's started
12090 <Kassandry> Pull open the crumble pack *SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF PAW PAW PAW MEW*
12091 <Kassandry> Fucking stoner.
12093 < incognito> playing with cucumber sounds like a problem to me :-p
12094 < sobel> isn't that a ruby test framework?
12095 < mst> sobel: so named because they're both things the developer has
12096 previously pulled out of his arse, presumably
12098 < perlbot> aquanight: Out of memory during request for 1073737744 bytes,
12099 total sbrk() is 1427456 bytes! [Exited 1]
12100 < aquanight> ... someone let me know whose malloc() is using sbrk for 1 GB
12101 < aquanight> I want to find them and feed them a mallet gnome
12103 < huf> ugh, so now the cat is made of urine too
12105 < LeoNerd> Typo of the day: Net::Async::HTTP::Sever
12106 < LeoNerd> Presumably for cutting off slow connections
12108 < nox> I assume you are particularly mad today because of the recent
12109 cop-being-racist video that became viral?
12110 < Hecate> honestly? I wasn't finished being mad about the one before
12112 < Mithaldu_> you need to read more scifi
12113 < Mithaldu_> so your doomering becomes more exciting
12115 < mst> also gnome doesn't work without systemd anymore
12116 < mst> and apparently there are people who consider gnome not working to
12117 be a bug rather than a feature
12118 < mst> which still confuses me but what can you do
12120 < jberger> WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, I'M HAVING TO THINK ABOUT SAML AGAIN,
12123 < simcop2387> GumbyBRAIN: the nine tennants of constancy
12124 < perigrin> simcop2387: tennant was 10.
12127 < ether> well at least it's not like database access is going to be a
12128 critical part of anyone's production infrastructure... :p
12129 < kraih> how critical can it be with mysql? :P
12131 * GumbyPAN CPAN Upload: Module-Generate-Hash-0.03 by LNATION
12132 https://metacpan.org/release/LNATION/Module-Generate-Hash-0.03
12133 < ether> what on earth is LNATION up to
12134 < thrig> making a hash of things, as humans are wont to do
12136 < TrueWolves> 12 hour shifts are hard on the soul, and by that I mean my
12137 feet are killing me.
12139 < mst> "I wish my data was emo so it would /usr/bin/cut itself"
12140 * pirateFinn almost spat out drink giggling
12141 < mdk> When i am being emo i usually just go straight for the cutting
12142 < mdk> Or I randomly chmod 777 a top level directory like /etc
12144 * phazedout lsitens to the crickets
12145 < Dom> Thankfully we got rid of them a few years back. Just locusts now.
12146 < Kincaid> Thankfully we never got the plague of frog
12147 < mst> I'd be lost without decent cheese, after all
12149 < erry> > open the window
12150 < erry> > get rained on
12151 < erry> ah, yes, britain
12153 < Altreus> That pub does amazing steak
12154 < Altreus> Dog friendly
12155 < mst> I'm not sure there's such a thing as dog unfriendly steak
12156 < Altreus> There is: my steak
12158 <@cat-xeger> I asked for more info about what they're doing around
12159 crypto... their answer wsa basically "<pat><pat>Trust us,
12160 we're using industry standard crypto algorithms"
12161 <@ether> "we have no idea what we're doing and were hoping no one would notice"
12163 < mdk> I dislike Evernote, it has security and privacy issues
12164 < mdk> And they were coy about how they handled both of them
12165 < mdk> Though knowing my luck Microsoft will announce One Note is a sponge
12166 made from slave labour that hunts babies next week
12168 < saturn2> please don't move from php to go though, that's like moving
12169 from eating horse shit to eating dog shit
12170 < mst> go is the PHP of compiled languages except without any of the charm
12171 < Betawolf> lower fibre content, but more manageable portions?
12173 < nox> Tempted to name a crate for the Erlang Term Format… etflife
12174 < ilmari> just so you can typo it fetlife for eternity?
12175 < nox> ilmari: Or go :smugface: at anyone making the typo :D
12177 < nshepperd2> feep: stop. hammertimeless decision theory
12179 <nic> Just let the cat out for the first time, fucking horrible but he came
12180 back when it started raining so I've confirmed he's definitely a cat
12181 <nic> The bad side is he'd forgotten he could jump higher than 2 feet til now
12182 so he's discovered a whole new level of stuff to fuck with in my house
12184 < mst> who fucking knows, my CV was written in POD
12185 < mst> these days I'd use markdown
12186 < nox> mst: Wrote mine in LaTeX,
12187 < nox> then promptly lost the source once I got a PDF, as per tradition.
12189 < haarg> valid packages: foo::bar, foo'bar, foo::'bar, foo::::bar,
12190 ::foo::bar, ::219, foo::219, foo::bar:: invalid packages:
12191 foo''bar, foo::'::bar, 'foo::bar, foo'::bar, 219, foo::'219
12192 < haarg> i'm sure this all makes sense
12194 Helen: Woohoo! I'm gonna talk to a feminist I admire about theory.
12195 The child: What does that mean?
12196 Helen: Gender critical feminists & liberals share concerns about queer theory.
12197 Her: That doesn't clear the matter up nearly as much as you think it does.
12199 < erry> tfw usertesting gives you a paid test for an app you actually use
12200 and then you get $10 to rant for 20 minutes
12201 < erry> :chef kiss:
12202 < erry> "i hate your app, it's shit. 10/10 would keep using"
12204 Fencing is the perfect COVID-19 sport
12207 3) If anybody gets closer than 6 feet away, you stab them
12209 16:52 < aquanight> oh god, the fuck did I step into.
12210 17:01 < aquanight> what the bloody hell is pushmark
12211 17:08 < aquanight> how do they expect people to make sense out of this
12212 17:29 < aquanight> oh fuckdammit. So much for non-overlapping sequence numbers
12214 < Grinnz> technically speaking, php was just a really bad perl 4
12215 < huf> yeah, but perl4 was also a really bad perl4
12217 < BubbleBobbleBob> I have now convinced colleagues that when mst says
12218 "this is a giant bag of crack", we should not use it,
12219 and we're now slowly getting rid of TryCatch
12221 <MikeSantorro> Hey I found the male Karen!
12222 <MorlockP> Hey, I found the eunuch one!
12223 <MikeSantorro> Just had a kid there, Jimmy Neutron!
12224 <MorlockP> I'm sure your wife did.
12226 < mst> oic yes sorry I avoid the superglobals
12227 < LeoNerd> There's too many of them and they're almost all silly
12228 < mst> sillier than an otter on poppers, indeed
12229 < LeoNerd> mst: ... I'm stealing that phrase for Reasons
12231 < huf> and now everything is made of urine?
12232 < mst> but we're pretty sure that with sufficient optree walking we've
12233 actually found the cat
12234 < huf> but it sounds like you've found the cat, possibly
12236 <@Nicholas> the hope is that if something is mst-proof, it's likely to be
12237 proof against most other (possible) disasters? :-)
12239 < mat> My experience with the pg planner is that from time to time, you
12240 think it's stupid, and you try to force it to do what you think is
12241 clever, and when it finally agrees to do what you want, you
12242 discover that it was indeed right to begin with.
12244 -!- mst changed the topic of #chat to: Amanda palmer divorcing neil
12245 gaiman on patreon is tiger king for ukelele goths
12246 < Hecate> WAIT WHAT
12248 <erry> our manager showed us a pot for her plant made out of wine corks
12249 <erry> she said they were just given to her
12250 <erry> i said we'll totally believe that and not assume it's because
12251 she's drinking 7 bottles of wine a day due to having to manage us
12253 < veesh> hmm, apparently by giving pg something to think about, it just
12254 thought harder and came up with a better plan by itself
12255 < veesh> one day pg will become sentient and take over the world
12256 < veesh> if that hasn't already happened
12258 < waiting> autarch: are you around?
12260 < waiting> do you have a meeting on zoom? :D
12263 < xiaomiao> I've found one package that just dockers in the makefile
12264 < xiaomiao> "reproducible build" >_>
12265 < xiaomiao> ... the power of sed compells you!
12267 < Altreus> perlbot: acrofind FUD
12268 < perlbot> Altreus: Fedora Users and Developers (Fedora Linux)
12269 < Altreus> That explains the uses I've seen of it
12271 < nox> so now English, an official EU language, isn't an official
12272 national language in any EU country?
12273 < mst> nox: Ireland
12274 < Hecate> *angry boiled potato sounds*
12276 < Obormot> Oh gosh, there's acrimony in the comments and I'm not even there
12278 < Mithaldu_> also fuck that guy
12279 < Mithaldu_> may his floor forever be legos
12281 < Grinnz> but yeah, mysql and php feel freakishly similar
12282 < Grinnz> if you look hard enough, you can find out exactly why some
12283 weird shit was done, but you're still left smashing your head
12286 < erry> Mithaldu_: you seem to have summoned the void
12287 < Mithaldu_> apparently using facebook was the trick
12288 < mst> Content-Type: text/fhtagn
12289 < jmac> Zalgo has a patreon? good for t̵͚ĥ̴̨ę̶̧m̴͍
12291 < namespace> gwern: You broke the furry fandom man.
12292 < namespace> Congratulations.
12293 <@gwern> namespace: I am but a humble midwife of gans and tpu pods.
12294 arfa did most of the work
12296 < mst> now you just need to port it to autobox
12297 < huf> a problem with that autobox thing. i dont know how to make it punch
12299 < mst> that would require tricking me into reading the source code again
12301 < thrig> Firefox used to leak memory on the about:memory page
12302 * gordonfish puts a bucket under about:memory
12303 < gordonfish> (I got it from a hash that no one was using)
12304 < tilt> gordonfish: well i sure hope it's a bitbucket
12306 < apotheon> gwern: How did you find something that starts with that
12307 horrible opening line I invented?
12308 < quanticle> That's autogenerated
12309 <@gwern> everything can be found in borges's library, apotheon
12311 < FalseFoxes> I've been eating a wealth of chocolate lately -.o
12312 < nox> You a chocobillionaire or what
12313 < mst> surely then we'd have to eat *him*
12314 < FalseFoxes> Eh, more a fan of catapultism. Yeet the rich
12316 < LeoNerd> Huh.. weird. I wonder why I thought it was missing then
12317 < genio> \o/ I don't need to do anything. I like those kinds of issues
12318 < LeoNerd> RESOLVED / OP-IS-A-MORON
12320 < petern> I need to be a lert, yes.
12321 < pewterfish> not a loof.
12322 < Winterbay> Are lerts related to alots?
12323 < Rosemary> they are now :D
12325 < veesh> someone turned off my server
12326 < veesh> i will literally slay them
12327 < veesh> actually, less bad, just a power outage
12328 * veesh puts away his sword
12330 * Rembane furiously writes a petition to remove the word Canada from the
12331 species Canada goose for lack of politeness.
12332 < Widdershins> second petition to remove the word "goose" so everyone
12333 must refer to them as *vague hand gesture* "that bastard"
12335 // UTC! UTC EVERYWHERE!
12336 pg.defaults.parseInputDatesAsUTC = true;
12337 pg.types.setTypeParser(1114, str => DayJS.utc(str).format());
12339 < mst> are you using DBIx::Class::DeploymentHandler ?
12340 DBIx::Class::Migration ? DBIx::Class::Schema::Versioned ?
12341 App::Sqitch ? four raccoons in a trench coat typing SQL into a
12342 serial console? BE SPECIFIC
12344 < mst> Review comment: "much like watersports at an orgy, no matter how
12345 tempting it seems at the time, eventually somebody's bound to get
12346 splashed who wasn't prepared for it and won't appreciate it"
12347 < revhippie> i mean, we've all been there, but discussing it at work? nah.
12349 < ether> mst: pft, you're so privileged you have your own timezone :)
12351 * gwern starts upgrading his OS and CUDA for the first time in like half
12352 a year. if he doesn't make it back, he wants you all to just remember
12353 this... in `ln -s` the original file goes first, like `cp`
12355 < Botje> ilmari: Your parents named you Mann::såker? Cruel!
12357 * davel forgot lunch :(
12358 * murb lays a lays a salad wreath in memory of lunch.
12360 < nshepperd2> my parallel-gpt seems to have learned to produce random base64
12361 < nshepperd2> this is not quite what i wanted
12363 < LeoNerd> "Ohyeah by the way, this thing you've never heard of: don't call it"
12364 < ether> "thing? what thing?"
12365 < LeoNerd> Let that be a lesson: Never document anything. It saves time
12366 in deprecating/deleting it afterwards
12368 < xq> someone should write a generator for exim4 configs
12369 < thrig> m4 cf/exim.m4 conf.m4 > exim.conf
12370 < Botje> well volunteered.
12371 < Harzilein> is mta crossover fan fiction a thing now?
12373 < mst> [["everything is neoliberalism" man bursts through the wall]]
12374 * Obormot instinctively tries to click on mst's link before realizing it's
12377 < xmj> wicked exhibit: swedish democrats (far-right) turning pro-gay vs.
12378 swedish muslim population
12379 < xmj> i agree that putting both of them into a potato bag and using a
12380 baseball bat on it would probably improve things.
12382 * pol recalls seeing a demo on "entry to a locked location" that had a
12383 lockpick buggering around for a few minutes and getting the door open,
12384 next up was two guys wiht a halligan bar and a fire axe - about 2 seconds
12385 to open the same door. "Sometimes elegance loses to pragmatism"
12387 < feep> > be debating some mysticism guy on reddit
12388 < feep> > eventually just come out and say "please go ReadTheSequences"
12389 < feep> he's like: "yeah the other guy I'm arguing with linked the same thing"
12390 * feep : ~ingrouuup~
12392 < tm604> so apart from packet sizes, ordering, function/method used to
12393 send and receive, reliability and truncation... yes, udp is
12394 somewhat similar to tcp
12395 < LeoNerd> But what *did* the Romans ever do for us?
12397 < nox> In the department of “nox is a man of addictions”, Duolingo is
12398 like “pls do at least 20 minutes or daily exercice”,
12400 < Hazelesque> in other news, even ritalin can't stop the amazing
12401 distraction powers of #chat lol
12402 * Hazelesque tries to remember wtf I was going to say next
12404 < Mithaldu_> just saw a video of a german protestor screaming at a cop
12405 about how Q has total control
12406 < Mithaldu_> the cop goes "Q from star trek next generation? yeah, he does."
12408 < nox> I think I have a tweet about my cats unionising.
12410 < aquanight> peopleHaveTroubleWithCamelCase?
12411 < tm604> if I wanted to deal with long words and Arbitrary
12412 Capitalisation, I'd run for president
12414 <@gwern> phrenology is by definition a pseudoscience. when it works, we
12415 just call it neuroscience
12417 <@gwern> and since the infrastructure is all set up, then if I want
12418 something else like boobs or something, I can spend another day
12419 labeling and get a million boobs etc
12421 < haarg> Devel::Cover only works with code that stays in the symbol table and I
12422 had code that only existed in the symbol table if it had not been run
12424 < haarg> and yes mst, it is your fault
12426 < aquanight> so what happens if you return \@_
12427 < Grinnz> aquanight: ideally, someone puts spiders in your cereal for the
12430 < Walther> existence of subchannels implies the existence of domchannels,
12431 in this essay i will
12433 < Grinnz> i worry about telling aquanight things sometimes
12434 < aquanight> I solemnly swear I am up to no good.
12436 < Filipe95> you're not old, gwern
12437 < Filipe95> life begins at 40
12438 < nshepperd2> and then ends three days later with a mysterious murder
12439 < nshepperd2> tragic
12441 <@pete> I got my first power tool recently
12442 <@pete> the feeling of manliness was huge
12443 <@pete> except when I covered myself, a window, and the ceiling with
12446 < jmac> > → jmac joined
12447 (sid298869@gateway/web/irccloud.com/x-wisxxfvuckyovkuk)
12448 < jmac> Wow, rude, irccloud
12451 < tm604> if someone can't remember how they normalised it in the first
12452 place they should pick the name off a list like anybody else
12453 < tm604> expecting to be able to type in a filename is sheer entitlement
12454 < Altreus> Indeed, that's what tab is for
12456 < mst> tm604: ideally, every time somebody uses : in a filename a small
12457 but overweight gnome hits them with a mallet
12458 < tm604> mst: instead, everytime someone uses Gnome to create a filename,
12459 a small but overweight mallet ends up lodged in their colon
12461 < LeoNerd> I can't stop
12462 < LeoNerd> # UV::Prepare->can('stop') failed
12463 < LeoNerd> I mean, literally. :)
12465 <@gwern> 'the monk nshepperd once came to gwern, and quoted a paper about
12466 noisy learning - idgi. gwern thought for a time, and said, 'it is
12467 like learning something by reading a dozen blog posts written by
12468 overly-enthusiastic undergraduates'. and nshepperd was enlightened'
12470 < nshepperd2> "If there is a footgun on the wall, by the end it must go
12471 off" chekhov's unexploitable v
12473 < Grinnz> generally the best way to make your API maintainable is to say
12474 "pass what I documented is allowed, or you get to keep all three
12475 halves of the result"
12477 < Grinnz> FWIW, rhel6 extended support ends november 30th
12479 < Grinnz> sorry, it starts november 30th
12482 < EvanCarroll> rhel6 is supported until 20204 thanks to CloudLinux
12483 < mst> 20204 is a pretty long way off, y'know
12484 < mst> systemd might even be stable by then
12485 < tianon> don't give IBM RedHat any ideas :D
12487 < Grinnz> mysql's trigger implementation reminds me of its default column
12488 value implementation
12489 < Grinnz> in that it's just useful enough as long as you don't have more
12490 than one table or column
12492 <@ilmari> brunost, smash, dill crisps, kaviar, remoulade, blåbæryltetøy,
12493 liquorice, crispbread, rye bread
12494 <@mohawk> ilmari, i want you to stop saying things that i don't
12495 understand but somehow still make me hungry
12497 < kd> we had a pm for a while who went back to the sap team to pm there
12498 < kd> he complained that he missed us because the sap team were a bunch
12500 < kd> otherwise very polite srilankan guy
12502 <ether> rofl someone was denied access to a data center because he had a
12503 long walk from the parking lot in full sun and he got too hot
12504 before the mandatory temperature check
12505 <ether> "next time he will park closer"
12507 <@LeoNerd> Oh lets reïnvent C++'s `friend`
12508 <@LeoNerd> that'll go well ;)
12509 <@LeoNerd> "C++ is a place in which your friends have access to your
12512 < genio> what did I just look at?!
12513 * Grinnz closes the tab, deletes it from his history, locks it, sets it
12514 on fire, and puts up warning signs
12515 < mst> Grinnz: "beware of the leopard" ?
12517 < feep> doing a plain elements-only literal first
12518 < feep> then I'll do the regular spread operator, and then I have to
12519 decide whether I want to have "add bar spreader operator" in my
12520 git history forever
12522 < LeoNerd> Purely to account for today's typo, I think I shall have to
12523 announce a "me too" dist management system called Module::Buidl
12524 < simcop2387> "Where did the dist manager touch you?"
12525 < LeoNerd> Where /didn't/ it??!
12527 < Rosemary> apparently the hashtag #cummings was being removed,
12528 presumably due to overexcitable porn blockers
12529 < mst> "overexcited" just makes my brain think "fully erect porn blockers" :/
12530 < Dom> Nah, just a bit premature
12532 < xmj> systemd-hotel-californiad . . . the cousin of systemd-stockholmd
12534 < erry> how bad is it to have alcohol during that meeting?
12535 < erry> i mean i can turn off my zoom video
12536 < erry> tho alcohol may not be strong enough
12537 < Kassandry> Just put it in a MLP:FIM sippy cup like a goddamned adult.
12539 <@gwern> 'Death Stranding, Explained: Breaking Down the Complex ...
12540 Evolving Via Antimatter Extinction Events Doesn't Make Any Sense'
12541 < Khoth> It doesn't need to work, it just needs someone with a shitload of
12542 antimatter to think it'll work
12544 < Betawolf> Apparently I had a LiveJournal account, huh.
12545 < Betawolf> HaveIBeenPwned is like a dredge for repressed memories.
12547 < mst> yeah, I like that idea, but I think I'll save it for not-after-1am
12548 < mst> given my recent track record with late night releases is suboptimal ;)
12549 < Grinnz> it's 5pm somewhere, perfect time for a production deployment
12550 * mst deploys to Grinnz' production
12552 < mst> you should see me try and explain C problems ... actually, no, you
12553 shouldn't, it's awful ;)
12554 < Grinnz> at least we'll be saved by the segfault a few words in
12555 < mst> ... assuming it compiles, yes :D
12557 <cat-xeger> ... and that was the moment when I realized I was
12558 absentmidednly eating cat treats...
12559 <cat-xeger> on the good side, high quality, all meat ...
12560 <cat-xeger> ...but all the same ;D
12562 < shminux> a convenient signal loss just before the separation
12563 < feep> that literally always happens
12564 < synthmeat> my bluetooth always starts cutting out when i pee too
12565 < two2theheadPC0> I'm sure we can blame 5G and Covid19 if we really try
12567 < quanticle> >maybe people are clicking on the link?
12568 < quanticle> Whoa whoa whoa
12569 < quanticle> This is Hacker News, let's not get ahead of ourselves
12571 < sobel> petaflot: why do you think a 2-bit value is going to be
12572 selective on a 50k row table?
12573 < mst> because there's a song about it: o/ where and an index: two bits! o/
12576 < petaflot> I am either too drunk or not drunk enough to fully appreciate your
12577 comment. therefore, I will copy/paste that comment and go get more
12578 drunk. then I'll be either too drunk to do anything (and wait
12579 until I'm less drunk), or drunk enough to do wonders. thank you
12581 < RhodiumToad> what you want is to _define your problem_ - you will not solve
12582 it until you can express it in a way that is not vague
12583 < RhodiumToad> ??vague
12584 < pg_docbot> http://www.trout.me.uk/vague.jpg
12586 < Kincaid> ok, it's warm....
12587 < Winterbay> Too warm
12588 < Kincaid> *sudden velociraptor*
12589 < Kincaid> oops, wrong meme
12591 < mst> ... on friday night when the protestors were out ... trump went
12592 and HID IN THE BUNKER UNDER THE WHITE HOUSE
12594 < purl> YOU'RE NOT FUCKING HELPING.
12596 < mdk> Just use valid html 5 will get you a fuck load of free pretty
12597 < mst> look, mate, you do remember I talked you into starting a fucking
12598 company because I didn't want to have to learn how to pretty, right?
12599 < mdk> I recall. Why do you think I have children and a drinking habit :P
12601 < nox> Christian gilded dildo is the scientific term actually
12603 < TBSliver> .... ok I've found my issue.
12604 < TBSliver> FUCKING ARSES.
12605 * TBSliver burns his perl install to the ground
12607 < Botje> PKCS* is ancient enochian for 'pain and suffering'
12609 < nox> In France the pavement gets broken to make barricades.
12610 < nox> But now we have scooters for that!
12612 < phox> I am from Canada, living in the US, and one time a Canada Goose
12613 here decided to do what they do and intentionally play chicken
12614 with me on my road bike
12615 < phox> clearly did not correctly infer that I was Canadian
12617 < ttkp> the problem with replacing the unix tradition is that it would be
12618 replaced by people who don't really know what they're doing
12619 < ttkp> and that's how you get things like systemd
12621 < Grinnz> there are not a lot of rules, but there are rules
12622 < mst> yeah, but new TLDs get added any time somebody breaks out a checkbook
12623 < simcop2387> i'm still waiting on .fart to open up. I *need* to own
12628 < alh> Well at least someone is now down a battle ship
12630 < mst> though apparently I talk syntactically correct perl in my sleep
12631 < Kassandry> Yes. Surprisingly. And sometimes relevant to something I'm
12632 muttering about when fixing something while you're still asleep.
12633 < Kassandry> You corrected my log parsing regex.
12635 * gwern looks at his next book, a statistics textbook. ah, it's written
12636 by a mathematician, which means he doesn't believe in crutches for
12637 the weak like 'graphs' or 'diagrams' or 'examples'. at least that
12638 makes it easy to crop
12640 < Betawolf_> I'm mostly stuck back at de-colon-ising being a great word
12641 for pulling things out of your arse.
12642 < Betawolf_> People coming for my bookshelf can recolonise their suggestion.
12644 < ggreer> during a social zoom last night, one person said she used to
12645 enjoy bike shares, but then she saw a naked dude riding one and
12646 she immediately cancelled her subscription
12648 <@gwern> cursed Reddit submission: "Just sold some of my Counterstrike
12649 skins to make my first cryptocurrency investment!"
12650 * pie_ taps forehead
12652 < erry> "you are muted" ye i know i'm not speaking i'm *chewing*
12653 < erry> i feel called out tho, i guess i eat super loud
12655 < genio> Romanian is so easy to read, yet very hard to understand when spoken.
12656 < choroba> That's how I perceive French
12657 < simcop2387> GumbyBRAIN: Je suis Napoleon!
12658 < thrig> the privy is called waterloo
12660 < huf> why doesnt the weather have a bugtracker? i'd like to open a ticket
12661 < huf> on behalf of my cat
12663 <@cat-xeger> Oookay... I'm apparently trying to use 26.15GB of memory on
12664 my 16GB work laptop ... swapping madly, I expect.
12665 <@alh> :clippy: Hi! It sounds like you're trying to use Slack!
12667 < StuckMojo> god now someone is asking about "US support hours" while
12668 there is a slide being shared that says "Support: 24/7"
12669 < Berge> Well, the US is indeed in need of support on many levels.
12670 < Berge> So it's a laudable thing to discuss.
12672 < Grinnz> irccloud decided mns should be the same color as mst and so I
12673 am going to remain convinced that mst has been mostly debugging
12674 himself for the past half hour
12676 <Logos01> 14 year old cat who gives zero fucks.
12677 <Logos01> Well, maybe 0.0125 fucks when adjusted for cat.
12680 <Kassandry> Note to self, 10L of wine can't fit in the fridge.
12682 * kraih attempts to code a cold beverage
12684 <cat-xeger> <-- can't paste, clowns will get me
12686 < ology> Aaaaaa. I'm back in the 90's. Now he wants me to fix his web
12687 page counters. But he migrated from a windows server to linux
12688 and the counter script is an exe. Fun times!
12689 < ether> I've heard good things about laudanum
12691 < ether> huh, my monitor is groaning
12692 < ether> *ohai* surprise cat
12693 < ether> there is a sheepskin on a shelf behind my monitor and in front
12694 of the window that often becomes occupied without me noticing
12696 < LeoNerd> SIGCHLDV
12698 < LeoNerd> SEGV = Segmentation Violation
12699 < thrig> or the smegfault
12701 < Grinnz> oh hey GumbyPAN
12702 < LeoNerd> ... my old friend
12703 < LeoNerd> It's come to talk with us again
12705 < dbohdan> It appears that the only two #lw-* channels you can join without
12706 being registered on Freenode are #lw-fetish and #lw-politics
12707 < dbohdan> This could be a metaphor for something
12708 <@gwern> dbohdan: well, one is for sadists and the other is for masochists
12711 < purl> STUPIDY KILLS
12713 <cat-xeger> Cassiel, despite being a kitten when he arrived, never did
12714 horrible things to my sewing.
12715 <cat-xeger> Archie, OTOH... came downstairs to a spiderweb one morning.
12717 < erry> i don't understand the economy
12718 < ilmari> money is hard, let's go shopping!
12722 < rmmh> is zuckerberg still doing the eat-what-you-kill diet
12723 < Betawolf> Can a man survive on privacy and civil discourse?
12725 <erry> southern rail: look we're called sourhern rail, and there is a
12726 railway, no? we don't get why people keep demanding trains on top
12727 of it, it's not called southern trains is it? yeah thought so,
12730 < gordonfish> { <jmac> Updated my cpanm from 1.7044 to 1.7024 } Stop
12731 updating things from your TARDIS
12733 < tom_m> that sounds like a bug in core, then?
12735 < hobbs> I think the answer is "yes, but knowing that doesn't really *help*"
12737 * ether watches Callie snoozing in the evening sun, not two feet away
12738 from a mass of birds at the seed feeder
12739 < ether> "and the lion shall lie down with the lamb"
12741 < buu> Let me tell about the time my rat walked on my keyboard and I got klined
12743 < lechner> you know i was sceptical of Perl when I got started with
12744 Lintian. was i wrong! what a great language.
12745 < lechner> never before have I been able to do so many things, so quickly,
12746 using so little time in a style I like.
12748 < cat-xeger> Hmm... what goes up, must coem down... but I'm not sure the
12749 kitten's figured out how that's going to work yet
12751 < cat-xeger> I'm going to file that under "Well, the end result was down..."
12753 < Discipulus_> conferences in the cloud are hosted by lando calrissian?
12754 < jberger> yeah, don't go to the evening reception dinner though :-P
12755 < jberger> I have a bad feeling about that
12757 < martti> on the upside, I now figured out I was actually typing
12759 < Koffa> wow... Irssi finally got the foot-in-the-mouth filter implemented?
12761 Facebook - people you can’t stand in your family
12762 NextDoor - people you can’t stand in your neighborhood
12763 LinkedIn - people you can’t stand in your office
12764 Twitter - people you can’t stand in your ingroup (@random_eddie)
12766 < toddr> I'm sure stupid client not stupid mst
12767 < mst> this time, yes
12768 < mst> always a difficult guess though :D
12769 < cat-xeger> Nah, it's not _stupid_ mst, it's _WTF_ mst?
12771 < Hecate> mst: one more reason to move to Franc ethen
12773 < Hecate> monetary migrations do not solve such isues
12774 < Hecate> *issues fuck shit dick balls
12776 < ether> 2020 is already such a rotten year, why would you make it worse
12777 by bringing schmorp into your life
12779 <@saturn2> do you really want half of your porn to be upside down?
12780 < shawwn_> well yeah
12781 < shawwn_> doesn't everyone?
12783 < xmj> doing math, one tends to become super happy when 1 finally resolves to 1
12784 < xmj> because that means one has made an even number of errors along the way,
12785 that cancel each other out
12787 < LeoNerd> Bah. Today's Freudian typoe is 'cagetory'
12788 < LeoNerd> I was obviously subconsciously thinking about putting Boris in
12791 < mst> hence my still thinking he's been a daft bugger
12792 < LeoNerd> I heard that in my head in a Northern accent ;)
12793 < LeoNerd> Though sadly, your hairstyle prevents my mental picture from
12794 including a flat-cap
12796 < pete> I’m currently at a hospital waiting to see the cardiologist, and
12797 the hospital has a McDonalds
12799 < tenoke> this made me check body pillows and even more of the top
12800 results on google shopping are of nude anime girls than I
12803 < feep> gpt-4: "I'm sorry, I don't know what 'agentic behavior' is. Could
12804 you give me an example in the prompt?"
12805 < feep> and then the world ended...
12807 * ilmari just realised that haiku would mean shark-cow in norwegian
12809 < buZz> daemon: lol did you see, tiktok is doing a pump&dump of dogecoin
12810 < daemon> buZz, gotta love a pump n dump ;)
12811 < mst> "pump n dump" just makes me thing of enema fetishes
12812 < genio> Things not to Google for $1000, Alex.
12814 < daemon> oh god ... I forgot to mark the thing it was executing as chmod +x
12815 * daemon hits head on desk
12817 < mst> kraih: since when has "not supposed to" ever stopped me? :D
12818 < mst> (warranty? what warranty? I already voided that twelve commits ago ...)
12819 < veesh> you can't tell me what to do, it's 2020!
12820 < LeoNerd> void wantarray
12822 < xenu> i don't understand what they're doing and i don't think they do either
12824 < daemon> np and remember get all your friends using POE and spreading
12826 < qwidj> heh..friends..
12827 < thrig> got asyncing feeling about that
12829 * LeoNerd just been on a 4hour zoom chat
12831 * ether hands LeoNerd a bourbon
12834 <@perigrin> I'm not sure if I'm more upset at the pun, or the fact I
12835 didn't get the pun immediately.
12837 < dbohdan> If you make a social network for C programmers, call it "Valgrindr"
12839 < warewolf> parmesan and I have an understanding. It continues to be
12840 delicious, and I continue to eat it.
12842 < Obormot> Apparently understanding where ricotta comes from requires seven
12843 paragraphs about this fucker's adventures on a horse on Italy,
12844 followed by an eighth paragraph apologizing for, and justifying,
12845 the preceding seven
12847 < mst> "nice virgin shit the bed" sounds like a moderately niche porn title
12848 < erry> i mean virgin media, and it's not sexy when they shit the bed, at all
12849 < Hecate> what a virgin move
12850 < Hecate> everyone knows you only shit the bed when Master says so.
12852 < shmem> put your PHP back in its place for all who draw the PHP will die
12853 by the PHP (Matthew 26:52)
12855 <mst> also I definitely want a condition system style debugging experience
12856 <Kassandry> I can see how some programmers might want to just drop in
12857 to see what condition their condition was in.
12858 <mst> and then in production the dude ABENDs
12860 < erry> there has to be a better way :sobs:
12861 < mst> erry: lxd can run containers inside containers, maybe more layers
12862 of docker would help?
12863 < erry> [docker-compose run sob]
12865 <@saturn2> of course people are that dumb
12866 <@saturn2> have you ever met any people?
12868 < mst> quanticle: have you ever watched an emacs user trying to exit vim?
12869 < mst> you might laugh but you know you're gonna feel bad about it later
12870 < quanticle> I *don't* feel bad about it later
12871 < quanticle> To me, it's like a video of a cat falling down
12873 * mst 's brain crosses the streams, generates a mental image of
12874 namespace dressed as a catgirl falling down while trying to exit vim
12876 * namespace kittenpouts
12878 < namespace> Clearly the solution is for them to patch vim so that if you
12879 spam the keyboard at it, a prompt comes up asking if you're
12881 < mst> namespace: vim is a democracy, it treats inputs as voice, not exit
12883 * namespace just opened vi and exited to make sure he remembered how
12885 <@gwern> hm, didn't aella make money camming while solving quadratic
12886 equations? I bet a trans catgirl trying and failing to exit vim
12887 would raise some bucks
12888 <@gwern> as she gets more and more frustrated and nyus harder and harder
12890 < nshepperd2> has anyone done an ai dungeon about trying to exit vim
12892 < RiversHaveWings> eventually you fail so hard at exiting to destroy spacetime
12893 < RiversHaveWings> but it turns out you were in a simulation being run
12894 inside a vim plugin and now you have to exit the
12895 higher level of vim
12897 < mst> I just have 'use MyProject::Class;' that uses lots of Import::Into
12898 < Getty> mst: that is what i will ACTUALLY do
12899 < Getty> EXACTLY that class name ;)
12900 < Getty> I didnt forced you to make Import::Into so that i NOT use it ;-)
12902 <mst> sufficiently encapsulated insanity is indistinguishable from technology
12903 <Uniaika> *from using Perl
12904 <Uniaika> fixed it for you
12907 <@gwern> yes indeed, it's just tricky to get it to reliably tap into its
12908 very impressive style transfer powers
12909 <@gwern> that's the frustrating thing. it's super obvious that it *can*,
12910 but like a cat, it won't
12912 * perigrin mutters as his pxe servers don't appear to be working
12913 <@mst> did you leave milk out for them?
12914 <@perigrin> I thought so
12915 <@perigrin> systemd hides the saucers from me
12917 < ether> or am I forgetting a chanserv thing again..
12918 < BinGOs> there aren't any services on this network currently.
12919 < BinGOs> except mstserv
12920 < ether> usually that suffices, except when he's in the pub
12922 * feep checks his long-term memory ie. logs
12924 < Obormot> Boy, how about that surge in covid cases in Florida, eh
12925 < Obormot> NYC's gonna lose our #1 spot soon, at this rate
12926 < Obormot> It's a race to overtake us, between California and Florida
12927 < Obormot> With Texas putting in a good showing as well
12929 <mst> of the dynamic languages, to me, perl>JS>python>ruby
12930 <erry> i mean syntax wise perl and ruby are very similar
12931 <erry> but then when it comes to the practical stuff ruby is uh....
12932 <erry> yeah nevermind your assessment is fine :D
12934 < buu> Personally I just store all my mutable state inside mst
12935 < buu> Then if I need to change it I just ask him
12936 < Grinnz> you've just described irc.perl.org
12938 < Grinnz> same with mysql (iterating is not a thing)
12939 < mst> mysql_use_result
12941 < mst> \o/ natural 20
12943 < kraih> .pm is limited to eu citizens, which is not a problem for me :)
12946 < kraih> *facepalm*
12948 < nshepperd2> it's great that the easiest way to get access to the world's
12949 most powerful general ai is to sign up for a trpg service
12950 < mst> future, evenly distributed, etc.
12951 < nshepperd2> the future is already here, it just doesn't make any sense
12953 < rsaarelm> I wonder if IRC will go the way of amateur HAM radio, everyone
12954 who's on IRC are people who were on IRC before 2010 and eventually
12955 it'll just be a bunch of septugenarians with dementia symptoms.
12956 < xmj> rsaarelm: the joke is this already happened
12958 < Logos01> Remember; dropped ceilings are corporate's way of saying they don't
12959 *really* mean it when they present you with a locked door.
12961 < simcop2387> don't forget the toilet paper usa co-founder that died
12962 yesterday after going on about it not being real too
12963 <@mst> if they're really toilet paper usa, why do they protest in diapers?
12964 < gordonfish> mst: It really Depends
12966 < ttkp> <greyson> leave me ALONE! I don't FEEL GOOD!
12967 < ttkp> that's why you need these drugs, cat
12969 <ilmari> the cyrillic alphabet is just greek with the serial numbers filed off
12971 <Soltis> god punishes the wicked with wsdl
12973 < tom_m> try { ... } six { nothing to catch } lbw { the try block didn't
12976 < nox> Or I could just have a microwave oven I guess, not like I'm going
12977 to cook a lot if I'm single and my mom is my neighbour lol.
12978 < nox> insert bernie.jpg "I am once again asking you to make me food"
12980 * veesh does not enjoy being on fire
12981 < Grinnz> veesh: was even worse a decade or so ago, when almost all
12982 terminals defaulted to a native encoding instead
12983 * veesh prefers being on fire
12985 < erry> do people really i'd do something that stupid :D
12986 < mst> how sure are you that you want us to answer that?
12987 < erry> fuck you :D
12989 < simcop2387> aha, here we are https://i.imgur.com/wG51k7v.png
12990 < mst> I mean, that's just a java port of BOURNEGOL
12991 < Exodist> every time I see that brace/semicolon style part of me dies.
12992 < Exodist> usually the part that terminates lines.
12994 < nshepperd2> electrons probably deserve to feel pain
12995 < nshepperd2> fuck 'em imo
12996 <@gwern> their fault for being so negative
12998 < Hecate> I'll just have to buy less books
12999 < mst> *fewer books
13000 < Hecate> I will annex your bloody island and make you speak french again
13002 < ether> the only Finnish I know is the phrase "your pants are falling
13003 down", which is not generally very useful
13005 < thrig> or wiregaard, where old ipsec protocols drink mead until ragnarok
13008 < simcop2387> perlbot: give me a password
13009 < perlbot> simcop2387: GQagmXon45
13010 < thrig> I find your lack of Hunter2 disturbing
13012 < ggreer> I was watching a paul harrell video testing various household items
13013 to see if they were decent cover. for his bookshelf example, he had
13014 100% obsolete tech books. I assume he got them for free
13015 < ggreer> turns out that java books are bulletproof
13017 < Betawolf> I guess witches get apprentices to scrub out their cauldrons
13018 < lucidian> Betawolf: the cauldron is cast iron! don't wash it with soap!!
13020 * ether scolds a bear out of the plum tree again
13021 < mst> the fact that you can get a bear to move by scolding it is peak ether
13022 <@ether> I wonder what the neighbours think when I shout "get out of here
13023 bear, we don't serve your kind here"
13025 < vague> There's vegan bacon! (I think?)
13026 < ilmari> eww, facon
13027 < LeoNerd> facon is /the worst/
13028 < LeoNerd> ... Wait, i've just remembered that surströmming exists
13030 <jberger> I look forward to reading these, but I just broke dev :-P
13032 < zgu> i actually put a warning message that says "go home, you're drunk" in
13033 response to a certain type of malformed GPS data in production code a
13034 few years ago that i'm pretty sure the us army is still using
13036 <cat-xeger> (one of the other variations, of cours, is "Why did my pillow
13037 just develop glowing eyes?")
13039 < shawwwn> feep: haw haw you like the D
13042 < quanticle> shawwwn: Yeah, feep is all about the D
13044 < Winterbay> Today I learned: If you find a security hole in PornHub you get
13045 sent a branded T-Shirt with the text "Looking for holes" on it :)
13047 * xmj hyperbolically discounts timeless decisions
13049 < nox> Why is it called revolution and not worker-owned coup
13052 < Mithaldu_> i hate people
13054 < Logos01> Well that's enough to make me stop being an atheist.
13055 < Logos01> Just so I can have someone to blame for it all.
13058 <@gwern> listen, you can't just put on cat ears one day and start meowing
13059 and expect to be taken seriously
13060 < mst> gwern: NYAA!
13061 * gwern stares down at mst. kimochi warui.
13063 < erry> from our slack "quote of the day" thing
13064 < erry> > @here Quote of the day: Some days I amaze myself, other days I
13065 put my keys in the fridge
13066 < erry> Just fucking @ me next time, damn
13068 < nox> Mithaldu_: You're just jealous your first language isn't exotic
13069 < Mithaldu_> nox: what do you mean not exotic, other languages
13070 äppröpriäte oür ümläüts äll the time
13072 <Soltis> new router
13073 <Soltis> fun ensues
13074 <Soltis> i only completely trashed my network once this time
13076 < tilt> disconnected by those damn "services" ... i suspect they are in league
13077 with that infamous guy called "peer", who resets connections
13079 <@ether> also, in the light of the news that "fecal plumes" are massive
13080 spreaders, I'm wondering if we're going to see a massive
13081 revolution in public toilets
13082 < mst> 2020: the year diaper fetishists turned out to be ahead of the game
13084 <sobel> w00t my filament is out for delivery today
13085 <sobel> no one here liked my color choices: safety orange, royal blue
13086 <mst> so basically you're 3d printing a Michael Bay film
13087 <sobel> that's the plan :P
13089 < mdk> "For security Could you log into your account and tell us the last 3
13090 transactions." "No." "Then You will fail the security check" "But my
13091 issue is that your online system wont let me log in." "Oh" "What's the
13092 5th Direct debit on your list" "I don't know. I cannot log in"
13094 < genio> *sigh* return unless $data =~ /^\s*(.*)/;
13096 <mst> I work hard to cultivate my team telling me I'm being an idiot
13097 <tom_m> indeed, I tried asking someone to follow me around in slack
13098 muttering "memento mori" in my ear, but they just looked at me
13099 oddly and I haven't seen them since
13101 < Logos01> So ... I think I'm forgetting how to put on shoes.
13103 <Logos01> "This was a moment of joy and contemplation."
13104 <Logos01> "YOU BEAT HIS SKULL IN *WITH* HIS SKULL!"
13105 <Logos01> "Yes. It was the reasonable thing to do at the time."
13107 < haarg> i have a coworker who uses ` as a delimiter for qw
13108 < haarg> with a newline in between
13109 < haarg> i'm a bit concerned they may be a psychopath
13111 < mokulus> Why is R*ko's b*silisk discussion disallowed?
13112 < Khoth> because it turned out that the eternal torture was people
13115 < feep> "WebAuthn?" "Gesundheit!"
13117 < mst> "nah but I like infohazards" see this is why we set up #lw-fetish
13119 < mst> "that which can be detroyed by the truth should be" does actually
13120 include your erection
13122 < Obormot> Humanity has made many wrong turns
13123 < Obormot> Coming down out of the trees, democracy, abandoning HyperCard
13125 < mst> I mean, it's that sort of film - very good fun but ultimately junk food
13126 < nox> mst: Some people elevate it to worship AFAIK.
13127 < mst> nox: have you met people? they're stupid and have no taste
13128 < nox> mst: Not since 14 years ago when the pandemic started
13130 < mohawk> which was more disappointing? duke nukem forever, or daikatana?
13131 < Khoth> in the sense of working on something from the 90s that should
13132 stay in the 90s, exactly like ndf
13133 < feep> nuke daikatana forever
13135 < simcop2387> i think just using a fdw to do the whole thing makes most sense
13137 <@mst> oh sweet summer cat ...
13138 * cat-xeger bites mst
13140 <@ct> I continue to be baffled at the sheer number of places AWS is
13141 "we're built of cutting edge technology forged of pure ethereal
13142 energy and quantum mechanics... except for that part over there
13143 which is a see-n-say stuck on 'The Cow Goes Moo'"
13145 <@gizmomathboy> how foundational is the "The Cow Goes Moo" in that stack? Are
13146 alternate animal sounds allowed?
13147 <@mst> [fatal] That's Not My Cow
13148 <@perigrin> The Sam Vimes deployment
13150 < tom_m> we're hoping to experience all the possible bugs of three
13151 totally different redis implementations in the same production
13152 system, it'll be fun
13154 < tilt> sometimes i use bash, but i write a warning at the top, "#!/bin/bash"
13156 <Kassandry> The cat insisted on a joint.
13158 <@gwern> "dear twitter, I have just learned I have only weeks to live. I am
13159 grateful to have finally found a way to quit this hellsite"
13161 * mdk enables an experimental feature in Chrome to do one small task. Me
13162 does task. Me watches as Chrome slowly munches through all Ram and
13163 all expanded disk-based RAM - like a plague of badly coded locusts
13165 < kraih> the question was so vague it could be anything
13166 < kraih> mst would link the cat picture
13167 < ilmari> http://www.trout.me.uk/vague.jpg
13168 < ilmari> (yes I have a /vague command)
13170 < galambo_> who do you guys like on lesswrong?
13171 < galambo_> I feel most of the old guard is gone now
13172 < nshepperd2> nobody really
13173 * nshepperd2 goes to greaterwrong to tend the downvote fields
13175 < yanmaani> what if you hate both Poland and Sweden
13176 < mst> then you alternate between the two while cursing
13177 < Grinnz> that's just finnish
13179 < mst> leont: oh, come on, select() works perfectly everywhere
13180 < mst> leont: scales really well too
13181 < mst> leont: somebody just needs to re-implement the C code in pure perl
13182 < leont> mst: You can go charstar yourself!
13184 < Logos01> I had no power at all for 3 days because hurricane force winds
13185 + major urban center of state capital + *the fucking rocky
13186 mountains* == 3 Stooges Power Supply.
13188 < jmac> Unrelatedly the IRC toy I've been working on involves, among
13189 other things, an keyword-generator for a channel's recent
13190 conversation, and this channel consistently makes the best results
13191 < jmac> Right now it's "blood test kangarona nox nurse"
13193 < Obormot\Arcturus> The web is unfathomable and ineffable
13194 < Obormot\Arcturus> Who can say why anything is anything?
13195 < Obormot\Arcturus> Trust me - stick with the basics
13196 < Robomot> 403 Forbidden
13198 < perigrin> I need to sort out plenv on this laptop
13199 < alh> perigrin: here: laptop on out plenv this
13201 < ttkp> my wife is having a teleconference-appointment with one of her doctors
13202 < ttkp> at the moment they're holding their dogs up in front of the
13203 camera and making adoring noises at each other
13204 < ttkp> this pandemic lifestyle is better in some ways
13206 < nshepperd> <hr> is the best html tag and you can't make me change my mind
13210 < xiaomiao> eh anyway: it took me a while to get to the interesting data,
13211 and my liver started hurting ;)
13213 <@gwern> 'As "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me" host Peter Gross once described
13214 Xmas: "Ah, yes, Christmas. That time of year when Jewish people
13215 celebrate the birth of the only Jewish son who actually lived up
13216 to his mother's expectations."'
13218 < feep> also note that in this video, dj sharpnel is a cute anime girl
13219 <@gwern> man who isn't these days
13221 < FalseFoxes> ... and the neighbors dog got in to my yard and porked my dog
13222 < FalseFoxes> >.<;;;
13223 < FalseFoxes> Time to see if the vet has doggy day after pills ffs.
13225 < kraih> the PS5 is really terribly designed for stacking multiple consoles
13226 < kraih> why can't they all just make cubes
13227 < mst> kraih: maybe they'll do that for the NeXT generation
13229 < davidstone> My computer just started ringing
13230 < davidstone> I have too many tabs open, I don't know who was calling me
13233 < thunder> wnat's the easiest way to get a list of core modules via the cli?
13234 < anno> ls ~/Documents/
13236 < lopid> sure, if that's where you keep your modules…
13238 < veesh> i had to set up a wildcard situation with namecheap once
13239 < veesh> that was unpleasant
13240 < mst> veesh: you might say you ... found yourself in a bind?
13241 < jberger> mst: booooo
13243 < quanticle> Yeah, look, it's like a Japanese maid cafe but with Nazis
13244 < quanticle> Not my thing
13246 < phaylon> a wrong sql query should panic, but app-schema-migrate
13247 ./phaylon-nude.jpeg should give the finger to the user
13249 <@ilmari> speaking of which, I haven't watered my orchids in months
13250 <@ilmari> but I'm stuck under a wife now, so it'll have to wait
13252 < mst> > If two Vegans have an argument is it still called a beef..... or
13253 is it a quornfrontation?
13254 < quicksilver> no, it's just a heated quinoasation
13255 < ilmari> careful, or you'll get a couscoussion
13257 < Hecate> see you around, my dearest twatwaffles
13259 <erry> *blows nose*
13260 <erry> *ear gets blocked instead*
13261 <erry> motherfucker
13263 < xmj> mst: good lord, that moshe guy is verbose
13264 < mst> yes, but still interesting
13265 < mst> rather like us
13266 < xmj> how dare you.
13268 -!- mode/#lesswrong [+q Holly9000!*@*] by gwern
13269 <@gwern> Holly9000: we expect bots here to be at least
13270 gpt-2-1.5b-finetuned quality. if you can't match #lesswrong-gpt
13271 quality, don't bother
13273 < ology> What is "proper coffee"? :)
13274 < ilmari> "not starbucks"
13276 < davidstone> I'm more interested in a chest full of treasure
13277 < davidstone> Hmm wait no that sounds like a lactation fetish I take it back
13278 < davidstone> ctrl+z
13280 <@Nicholas> so mariadb has integer wrapped, sqlite has truncated, and
13281 postgres presumably still thinks that it is an error
13282 <@Nicholas> (and Oracle refuses to answer until you give it a credit card)
13284 < ilmari> typo of the day: slugify -> slutify
13285 < pirateFinn> ilmari: That turns them into pornhub URLs
13287 < Quin> Side note: this is Ovid. "Quin" is short for "Quintialin", a
13288 Roman orator. And yes, I was overthinking it :)
13289 < ilmari> Ovid is Quincognito :)
13292 < erry> it's 2035, covid is still raging the lands
13293 < erry> we all live in communities managed by amazon where we're each
13294 allowed a capsule hotel style pod
13295 < erry> go back to work at your allocated Amazon(TM) Web Factory, Denizen.
13297 < dbohdan> Obormot\Arcturus: I didn't mean you personally
13298 < mst> dbohdan: he's a New Yorker obviously everything is about him personally
13299 < mst> if you're not already like that you get an implant when you move there
13300 < mst> comes with a free pamphlet explaining why to hate DeBlasio
13302 <@gwern> 'the web designer of the future will be a web dev, a large
13303 neural network, and a trained cat. The neural network optimizes
13304 design based on traffic, and the cat distracts the developer if
13305 he moves towards the laptop.'
13307 <@cat-xeger> Why is it so bloody hard to find decent balls on amazon?
13309 <cat-xeger> Me in a tiggerishly good mood seems to _really_ disturb people
13310 <cat-xeger> They don't say "why are you in a good mood" -- it's "who are you
13311 going to disembowel" or "did you kill somebody?"
13313 < quanticle> "How do you pronounce Haskell?" "Go to a karate dojo and ask the
13314 meanest, toughest fighter there to punch you right in the balls.
13315 The sound you make is how Haskell should be pronounced."
13317 < Betawolf> This isn't the 1970s anymore. We have methods for talking to
13318 Finns now. All you need is to carve the question into the
13319 snow, place an offering, and return the next day to check the
13322 <Kassandry> Oh what the fuck Last Night Drunk Lacey. Why did you put
13323 pickle juice in my drink bottle?
13325 <rocknocker> Of course, I would never strike another person in such a state;
13326 well, perhaps in Illinois.
13328 < sobel> PHP's implode() can, for historical reasons, accept its parameters in
13329 either order. For consistency with explode(), however, it is
13330 deprecated not to use the documented order of arguments.
13331 < sobel> just...pass the wrong args, nbd
13333 * Kassandry sips everclear coke, puffs on a joint, and schools people in
13334 the fine art of actually reading the fucking core dump
13336 <Logos01> That moment when you realize that the company you work for got
13337 DDoS'd by its own product.
13339 < mishanti1> Last I worked with MySQL (3.23 I think?) you couldn't even
13340 rely on it storing your data, so my knowledge about it is
13341 vastly outdated. Postgresql has been the go-to.
13343 < joepie91> only with very rigid bags it doesn't work
13344 < Zr40> it doesn't even feel sticky to the touch
13346 < erry> fuck you wordpress site
13347 < mst> erry: you missed an h in the last word there
13348 < erry> how will we ever pass an external pentest like this
13351 < pompolic> is it a perverse incentive if it increases the total amount
13352 of catgirls in the world?
13354 * mst was so offended he nearly challenged Geo to handbags at dawn.
13355 * GeoSTI moves jacket from handbag
13356 < GeoSTI> I'm your Burberry.
13358 < erry> my colleague made a PR to increase the ram of one service and
13359 named the pr 'download more ram'
13360 < erry> someone give him a raise and a promotion
13362 <@saturn2> what does linguistics have to do with 3d printer firmware
13363 < feep> I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED
13367 < ether> I need to come up with an async project so I can name it Godot
13369 < xmj> mst, as much as this annoys me i think you're right
13371 <@mst> I need to introduce kassandry to proper fish and chips at some point
13372 <@ether> now I want some smoked kippers
13373 <@mst> and then you'll be back for breakfast?
13374 <@ether> *what a guy*
13376 < phaylon> gah. my head would really appreciate it if the weather would
13377 stop oscillating between warm and cold and wet and dry
13378 < phaylon> so clogged up today I didn't even hear the delivery guy ringing the
13379 bell. and they tend to make noise like they're chased by wolves
13381 -!- Topic for #chat: The sys in sysadmin actually stands for sisyphus
13382 -!- Topic set by mst
13383 < quicksilver> mst: every time I read /topic, I read it as "The sys in
13384 sysadmin actually stands for syphilis"
13387 <@vmbrasseur> A wild sungo appears! <3
13388 <@vmbrasseur> I've missed you, man.
13389 <@sungo> yes. you have underpaid your assassins
13391 < mst> I keep getting annoyed by the fact that the NC treasonweasel
13392 appreciation society is called the Sons of Confederate Veterans
13393 and therefore gets abbreviated to SCV
13394 < mst> get the fuck off my starcraft lore, treasonweasels
13396 < erry> i have a haunted git branch
13397 < Kassandry> PM: You finished that sprint early. Way to go! Dev: Git's
13398 haunted. PM: What? Dev: *loads up git-fsck* Git's haunted.
13399 < mst> Junior Dev: Git's haunted. PM: What? Senior Dev: Always was.
13401 < davidstone> If I made a mixed drink, I'd name it "The Relationship"
13402 < davidstone> With the prefered way to order it being "on the rocks"
13406 Lisper got to sit and wonder, (Y (Y Y))?
13407 -- Kurt Vonnegut, modified by Darius Bacon
13410 -!- whynot [~whynot@37.73.185.28] has quit [Quit: leaving]
13412 < aquanight> okay was that just a well-timed quit or am I losing it?
13414 < sobel> they did a great job of getting right to their failure to
13415 provide me a working network
13417 < two2thehead> hmm. Sean Connery died
13418 <@gwern> no he didn't he just went undercover
13419 < two2thehead> I've heard of method acting, but this is ridiculous :^)
13420 < nshepperd2> 6 feet undercover, very dedicated
13422 <@sungo> decaf gives me migraines either way. I assume it's because my brain
13423 is aware I fed it coffee that's not coffee and is exacting revenge
13425 <@gwern> c60 olive oil is dumb and always was dumb, but enough people believed
13426 it I ought to broadcast its failure to replicate as a PSA
13427 < nshepperd2> i assume that's not olive oil with fullerenes in it
13428 <@gwern> in a just world, it would not be ... just not this world
13430 <thisisnic> Fair play, whatever keeps you sane!
13431 <thisisnic> Oh wait...
13433 Error: Protocol mismatch: Packet of form Allegation<Demise<Fascist|Demon>>
13434 can not be accepted wthout negotiating protocol extension Lawyer<Machine>.
13435 This machine does not grant access rights for a search.
13438 < Obormot> gwern: We didn't have this complaint when we didn't have dark mode
13439 <@gwern> true, we had complaints about a lack of dark mode
13440 < Obormot> gwern: Maybe users don't deserve dark mode
13442 < feep> also! I have come up with a language feature so simultaneously
13443 brilliant and daft that ever since I told Ralith about it he's
13444 been completely ignoring me
13445 < feep> allow me to share with you its brilliance
13447 < ether> anglais est difficile
13448 < ether> allons faire shopping
13450 * ether quickly rescues her rubber newt from the cat
13452 <@saturn2> wireheaded in the butt by my own GAN
13454 < LeoNerd> "We apologise to passengers alighting at Slough. There's nothing
13455 wrong with the service, it's just that you will be in Slough"
13457 < peerce> wow, that was 2007 ? time flies.
13458 < mst> like an arrow
13459 < peerce> fruit flies like a banana
13462 < Hecate> haskell.foundation !!!
13465 < Hecate> *anime catgirl noises*
13467 < cousteau> when I don't have write permission on a file, I just cover
13468 the Ethernet connector with tape
13469 < LeoNerd> Ahyes, the good old "chmod +w cellotape"
13470 < mst> no, sellotape - ethernet is binary. cellotape is for strings
13472 <@gwern> ...did I just get a mushroom flair on /r/psychology?
13473 < Betawolf> okay, I'll say it. It's because they think you're a fungi.
13475 <Kassandry> Saw a picture of a cat earlier with one of those shame signs
13476 that said "I peed on the hamster" and my first thought was "I
13477 didn't know Richard Hammond was into that"
13479 < Juerd> Perl is an old language and there are some annoying things you
13480 need to work around if you want to keep your sanity.
13481 < plant_enjoyer> it's kinda cool though! like getting your dad's old
13482 guitar from the attic, lol
13484 > It will never cease to amaze me that Google had the sense to make Go errors
13485 > into return values, but did so with a product type rather than a sum type.
13487 They're a product oriented company that believes in zero sum competition?
13489 < quanticle> You see the fuzziness around the edges? You cannot accurately
13490 determine the cat's position if you know its momentum and if you
13491 do then you can't accurately determine its position. You've heard
13492 of Schrodinger's Cat, but what we have here is Heisenberg's Cat.
13494 < mst> I'm busy hacking a different sort of lisp :D
13496 < xenu> lisp is all about (((parens)))
13497 < LeoNerd> Lisp Is Substantially Parens
13499 < pie_> only reason i know who won the election is because my friend's
13500 girlfriend told me they had celebratory sex
13502 < Betawolf> oh god, 'Biden babies' might be a thing
13504 < simcop2387> thank you for not breast feeding the mind flayer
13506 < SpiceMan> can there be a thought without an object?
13507 < mst> in a channel of pedants, no matter the thought, *somebody* will object
13508 < mst> ... usually xenu
13511 < Winterbay> Was unable to play the "comedy of the week" podcast and so
13512 went to the BBC website to do it instead and it said it's
13513 not available in my location so went and checked what my IP
13514 maps to and apparently I'm in Spain today
13516 < dkf> Anyway, time for breakfast!
13517 < stevel> "If you want to do 3 impossible things before breakfast ...."
13518 < RhodiumToad> "If you've done 6 impossible things this morning, why not
13519 round it off with breakfast at Milliways..."
13521 < erry> "There's a lot to unpack here but let's just burn the whole suitcase"
13523 < sobel> where are you seeing Dear ImGui hype?
13524 < mst> sobel: Orange Site Bad.
13528 <@cat-xeger> ... did the appropriate 'waft' thing for every. single.
13529 bloody. bottle but the very last one.
13530 <@cat-xeger> Predictably, it was the last bottle that had ammonia in it.
13531 < Rosemary> we've all done that, usually exactly once.
13533 < LeoNerd> *headdesk*
13534 < LeoNerd> Hands up who forgot to `debrelease` after a ~10 minute build
13535 cycle, before tidying up the build directory
13536 * LeoNerd <== this guy
13538 < Kincaid> my Dad's old school had to call in the bomb squad for a bottle of
13539 picric acid found when they were demolishing the old labs
13540 < Kincaid> I think it's a legal requirement of chem departments to do this
13541 < Kincaid> also a lake of mercury from 100 years of dropped thermometers
13543 To kill a French vampire you need to drive a baguette through its heart.
13544 Sounds easy but the process is painstaking.
13545 -- @Daveastated on twitter
13547 < ilmari> the lord yeeteth, and the lord yoinketh away - gen z bible
13549 < simcop2387> eh any language is fine, but if no one else speaks it then
13550 you probably won't get the help you need.
13551 < simcop2387> or some smart ass will respond to you in esperanto
13552 < LeoNerd> Mi jus pensis pri tion!
13554 * pol recalls when his grandfather died
13555 < pol> We had to phone the plant he'd worked at
13556 < pol> "Send us a hazmat team"
13558 < Mithaldu_> that twitter account tweeted "pedo" at vowsh and i can't tell if
13559 it's an accusation or an invitation
13561 * leont_ once told Larry that when I read about how globs worked I had
13562 assumed I misunderstood. His reply "I'm sorry about that" :-p
13564 < leont_> ilmari: you need to nominate yourself for core team membership
13565 < ilmari> leont_: do I _have_ to? </whine>
13567 * ether gets out the shotgun and marches you to the altar
13569 < mst> Botje: it didn't disco, just dropped the socket
13570 < ilmari> mst: in the bathtub?
13571 < gordonfish> ilmari: mmm, I smell toast
13572 < simcop2387> gordonfish: sounds like a stroke
13574 * leont_ still believes that at the next YAPC, we should convince
13575 someone to brew a perl5 porter ;-)
13576 < leont_> How hard can it be to convince a British sponsor to fund that?
13577 < BinGOs> perl5 porter: strong, smooth and disagreeable
13579 < huf> you can just flush it with $fh->autoflush($_) for 1, 0;
13580 < gordonfish> huf: Isn't that just $fh->flush ?
13581 < mst> select((select($fh), $| = 1, $| = 0)[0]);
13582 < huf> well now, that's a sight for sore eyes
13585 < RhodiumToad> death to fontconfig
13586 * RhodiumToad will stick to xterm
13588 < shawwwn> If he’s not doing something, the kitchen is where he stands
13589 < shawwwn> Other family members started making fun of him a bit. “Behind
13590 every great man, there’s a drawer I need to get into and why
13591 are you even in the kitchen”
13593 <@gwern> "BigGAN, rick?" "It's a goddamn GAN, Morty! You little shit, you
13594 made the LR too low! let me show you *true hyperparameter tuning*"
13596 < RiversHaveWings> there are two dashboards and one is up and the
13597 developer.apple.com one is down
13598 <@gwern> does the up dashboard report that the down dashboard is down
13599 < RiversHaveWings> it isn't on it
13601 < shawwwn> Flying over the ocean is terrifying. If you run out of fuel you’re
13603 < shawwwn> I’m not sure why planes aren’t falling out of the air every day
13604 <@mjr> Well, to start with, they generally tend to fuel the planes.
13606 < mst> it's not like anybody who's worked for mdk is exactly manageable
13607 < mst> you just sort of have to aim us in a general direction and hope
13608 < quicksilver> <mdwellington> I don't know what effect these cats will
13609 have upon the enemy, but, by God, they frighten me
13611 < ilmari> there's also the other meaning of "mean"
13612 < Hecate> ilmari: stop being so average
13613 < ilmari> wel, _an_ other meaning…
13614 < ilmari> Hecate: what do you mean?
13616 < quicksilver> any feature, however contorted, which allows mst to answer
13617 questions honestly with "*sigh* unzip", is a win
13619 < simcop2387> it'll be difficult to find anyone with Trebek's panache
13620 < ether> I wouldn't be surprised if they killed the show entirely
13621 < mst> you mean you think it's ... in jeopardy?
13624 < Grinnz> what the absolute fuck are you... oh, vi
13626 * Zr40 just met a cute little spider and let it be
13627 < Zr40> I hope it catches many silverfish (-:
13629 < joepie91> I am reminded of the handful of companies which, when you create
13630 an account, send you two e-mails
13631 < joepie91> one containing your username, the other containing your password
13632 < joepie91> "for security reasons"
13634 < castaway> .. well that was fun..
13635 < mst> web design always is
13636 < castaway> this is why Im trying to avoid it ;)
13638 < Betawolf> Yes, Mr Blobby is a 6-foot-tall pink monster that haunted British
13639 gameshows. He would randomly assault the contestants, sometimes
13640 throwing things, sometimes putting people into chokeholds. Nobody
13641 knows what he wants except perhaps Noel Edmunds. Kids love him.
13643 < chloekek> IIRC Italy used to have different tariff for electricity used for
13644 lighting and electricity used for powering other utilities
13645 < chloekek> So people came up with circuits to make their non-lighting use
13648 < quanticle> So what you're saying is that, unlike China, which has a
13649 stealth fighter but no engine, Japan has an engine, but
13650 no stealth fighter?
13652 < joepie91> speaking of servers, time for my migration, for real this time
13653 * joepie91 is tired of dry-running it
13654 < joepie91> actual downtime should be like 10-15 minutes tops :P
13655 < joepie91> though "should" is doing a lot of work in that sentence...
13657 < joepie91> systemd-coredump[21574]: Process 21572 (sendmail) dumped core.
13658 < joepie91> ... of course it did.
13659 * joepie91 ejects computer from window
13660 < joepie91> time for a new hobby.
13662 < nox> Kassandry: Obviously Archer is sad T'Pol isn't coming
13663 < mst> vulcans are tricky to make orgasm most of the time, yeah
13664 < Kassandry> Goddamnit, I just choked on my bourbon.
13666 < Betawolf> Internal rhyming is okay, it's when you break into epic verse that
13667 the waiter taking your order starts to get that concerned look.
13669 < Doc> wish we could neutralize the riaa
13670 < mst> Doc: with an acid bath, yes
13671 < Doc> i approve of this addition
13672 < ilmari> mst: so you're saying the riaa is basic?
13674 * gwern copies the DOI for this shannon paper from sci-hub and belatedly
13675 notices that '10.1234/12345678' *might* not be a real DOI
13677 < Kincaid> just use an excel sheet and access it it with a VBA wrapper
13678 < pewterfish> *bonk* Go to Excel jail
13679 < Kincaid> I'm fine, I'm the 65,537th person to do it
13681 < bomb> I'm available for hire if you want an enterprise-ready solution
13682 to that problem, written in Spring + Hadoop.
13683 < sobel> i'm not ready for that much power :P
13684 * bomb slowly holsters his kubernetes
13686 < capitol> Do you like yaml? - A question that can be answered Yes or Norway
13688 * quanticle looks at mst like a parent who is proud of their child, but
13689 doesn't exactly know why he should be proud.
13690 < quanticle> Congratulations on winning your uh...
13691 < quanticle> whatever it is you won
13693 < sobel> hehe, that garbage xml that configures my legacy app: just made
13694 chrome pause hard when i loaded it
13695 < joepie91> chrome was probably briefly reconsidering its life choices
13696 < sobel> chrome is almost smart enough that i feel bad about making it do that
13698 <@pete> I did 8 years of Latin at school and am pleased to report I have
13699 no idea what that says
13701 < Exodist> Her parents were so conservative that she had this conversation:
13702 Her Mom: "Gay relationships are wrong because it is so unnatural
13703 how gay men have sex!" her: "You know straight people have anal sex
13704 too right?" her mom *horrified*: "No, I do not believe that!"
13706 < buu> $m->comp('SELF:login',
13708 < mason> Whaaaaaa....?
13709 < buu> this is all your fault
13711 < synthmeat> "why did the console peasant cross the road? to render the
13712 building on the other side."
13714 < Betawolf> the best way is to assassinate them _before_ they're elected
13715 < dbohdan> Have enough of that, and you don't need elections. You can
13716 replace Election Day with Assassination Market Betting Day.
13718 < sobel> if you can spell Louisiana, you're not from Louisiana
13720 <erry> tfw someone in the werewolf game says my reads suck
13721 <erry> that's why i use LOGIC and not READS
13722 <erry> "EVEN THO ERRY IS TRUSTED THAT DOESN'T MEAN HIS READS ARE GOOD" i
13723 will print and frame this
13725 < Zr40> RETURNS NULL ON NON NULL INPUT
13726 < kwispel> RETURNS NULL ON NON NULL OR NULL INPUT
13727 < sobel> RETURNS NULL ALWAYS
13728 < RhodiumToad> WHY ARE YOU CALLING THIS FUNCTION ANYWAY
13730 < mst> if I can't get features in directly I can weave them through
13731 < ilmari> a weft move, by a warped mind :)
13732 < mst> I resemble that remark :D
13733 < ilmari> as long as there isn't a /kick looming
13735 < mst> but it'll as short for 'it will' is perfectly cromulent english
13736 < BinGOs> Information Technology Infrastructure Library? ITIL never happen!
13737 * BinGOs gets his coat.
13738 < gordonfish> Don't forget your tea and cromulents
13740 < mst> if you wait long enough I'll get annoyed and write an
13741 Operator::Declare and then you'll wish you'd done it sooner
13742 < LeoNerd> "I might as well give you some rope to hang yourself with,
13743 because otherwise people will use Cat5 cable instead"
13745 < buu> NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE
13747 < ggreer> I stumbled on a function called "readCache". it writes to a cache :(
13750 * Obormot stares at the shipping info form on aliexpress
13751 < Obormot> "Name. Example: Ivanov Ivan Ivanovich"
13752 < Obormot> Aliexpress what are you trying to say here
13754 < LeoNerd> Annoyingly I don't have an automated tweet client so I'll have
13755 to tweet it live, manually, by hand. Like some sort of peasant
13757 < nperez> patches welcome? ;-)
13758 < hobbs> I might, but I can't just send one off without researching exactly
13759 what the differences are, which sounds like a hole full of rabbit
13761 00:22 < erry> ok! tonight i'll fall asleep in 10min and sleep until 8 am like
13763 08:15 < erry> hey it worked
13766 < quanticle> Also, from the article on Dushanbe: "meaning Monday in Persian"
13767 < quanticle> Can you imagine living in a city called "Monday"?
13768 < quanticle> Whoever named this city must not have been a fan of it.
13769 < quanticle> "Fuck this place, I'm calling it Monday"
13771 < nox> French police is going to ask your joke its ID for being too dark
13773 < Grinnz> Who fucking put a BOM in this column data
13775 < jberger> ize? dunno, mst is rubbing off on me maybe (and that's terrifying)
13777 < erry> i spilled water down my desk where the power plug thingy is
13778 < erry> It mostly went down the desk itself tho
13779 < erry> so probably fine(?)
13780 < Hecate> erry: if you suddenly disconnect, we will know it was not :P
13782 <@hobbs> New "weird chinese brand made up for Amazon" list entry: Officygnet
13783 <@hobbs> Also fezlens
13784 <@mst> hobbs: fezlens are cool
13785 <@hobbs> More into the bowties myself
13787 < quanticle> Same origin policy in a nutshell: BABA YAGA IS OPPOSED!
13788 < mst> quanticle: no tag soup for you!
13789 < quanticle> More like NO JSON FOR YOU COME BACK ONE YEAR WITH CROSS
13792 < LeoNerd> I have a 40minute slot, aiming at 35 minutes of recorded talk + 5
13793 minutes live Q/A at the end. First draft of my talk slides recorded
13794 in 26minutes. Second draft comes in at 40m 40s.
13795 < LeoNerd> Excellent. Now I can implement binary search.
13797 * Neth sighs in american.
13798 < Kincaid> does that involve gunfire?
13800 < simcop2387> oh i see i thought you were saying that assuming things worked
13801 < huf> no, it obviously doesnt, which is why excel does it that way
13803 < sobel> I wonder if Microsoft's "edge" predates Lovense's?
13805 < mknod> the perldoc didn't find anything on "rewind"
13807 < LeoNerd> Wow, weird. That's a bit of stdio that perl doesn't wrap :(
13808 < huf> perl is a bad blockbusters customer
13810 < buu> someone give me a tab supporting perltidy rc file
13811 < xenu> by 'tab' you mean that key that produces 4 spaces?
13812 < LeoNerd> :set sw=4 ;)
13814 < Hecate> yes I'm much more familiar with perineum
13816 < sobel> I don't understand sober people sometimes
13818 < mst> discussion of postgresql, friend says "the auld master of the post"
13819 * mst replies "nor rain nor snow nor glom of nit"
13820 < Kincaid> just don't arsk about:
13823 < spxtr> Why not use systemd?
13824 <@gwern> did you just tell me to go fuck myself?
13826 * perigrin just realizes what the other team did and stares in horror
13827 <perigrin> oh thank god, it's not as bad as I thought
13828 <perigrin> it's just stupid, not horrifyingly stupid
13830 < xiaomiao> lots of performative management :\
13831 < xiaomiao> "we have a roadmap, that's enough - what do you mean *follow*
13832 the roadmap? that's inflexible!"
13833 < xiaomiao> [angry mountain german]
13835 < nox> I will forever have some respect for covid because now way more
13836 women are acting on the fact that they don't want to wear bras
13838 00:15 -!- cryptid_collector has joined #perl
13839 00:33 -!- cryptid_collector has quit [Quit: Connection closed]
13840 00:56 <@simcop2387> i know there are fewer of us than ever, but bigfoot
13841 hunters coming for perl programmers? really?
13844 < xmj> stop being right
13846 < david_> Does anyone else find it ironic that a company named "Johnson
13847 and Johnson" was accused of giving strokes?
13849 < Grinnz> leont: it's gotten so bad, i had an mst thought
13851 < Obormot\Arcturus> gwern: So? What is a wet bar?
13852 < gwern> Obormot\Arcturus: it's a home bar... which has a sink
13853 < mst> if you leave the room and come back, does that make it a rebar?
13854 * feep bars mst from puns
13856 < dbohdan> LDS microdosing (to ward off unclean spirits)
13858 <wodencafe> What the fuck did this guy do? What is a FocusTraversalPolicy? Ugh
13860 < mst> fucking newfangled electrickery
13861 < LeoNerd> Yeah that's a perl 5.12ism
13862 < LeoNerd> I had expected everything would cope nicely by now
13863 < Grinnz> well my brain doesn't yet :P
13865 < gwern> "well, geoff said, it all started when I said californian voters
13866 would approve any idea, no matter how stupid, if it sounded good..."
13868 < ether> I don't want to think about the tooling changes for renaming branches
13869 < Grinnz> ideally, "update minting profile to set the default branch
13870 name, everything else works based on git branch config", in
13871 practice "ohgod everything's made of hardcoded bees"
13873 <@jess> im saying i dont want us to and unfortunately i have the
13874 privilege of deciding a conversation isn't ok to have here
13875 * mst distracts the channel by starting a conversation about politics
13876 <@li> May Suddenly Troll
13878 <+fChanX> Me and my best friend had a massive fight after drinking loads
13880 <+fChanX> So now we call it angrya.
13882 < Obormot\Arcturus> MY NAME IS OBORMOT
13883 < Obormot\Gaia> FOR WE
13884 < Obormot\Sirius> ARE
13885 < Obormot\Arcturus> MANY
13887 < xmj> I'm German. Gas is metered.
13888 < xmj> You make a Hitler joke in my vicinity, you pay the bloddy gas bill.
13891 < huf> stupid nato vaccines chipped mst and now he's nicer
13892 < huf> soon we'll have to send him on an insensitivity training course
13894 < Altreus> RaiseError => 0 is ErrorsAreAcceptableToMe => 1
13895 < LeoNerd> ON ERROR RESUME NEXT
13896 < Altreus> PHP => 1
13898 < mst> ON DUPLICATE KEY DO INSTEAD CRY AT THE VERBOSITY OF STANDARD SQL
13899 < zgu> mst: i think you mean 'CRY FROM LEFT AND RIGHT EYES AT LANGUAGE
13900 ATTRIBUTE VERBOSITY OF SQL AS SPECIFIED BY STANDARD'
13901 < thrig> pretty sure you need a CROSS JOIN to involve both eyes
13903 < revhippie> i hate our software so much
13905 < buZz> revhippie: start with removing the french files
13908 < velix> Help! My postgresql is drunk!
13910 < Altreus> wtf if I dump a $hashref I get a shitload of warnings and a
13911 completely different error from if I remove the debug statement
13912 < Botje> hashref is cursed.
13914 < qed2> I just learned today that people eat more bananas than monkeys
13915 < qed2> it makes sense, I do not remember when I ate a monkey lately
13917 < mst> o< o< o< o< o< quaaaack
13919 < mst> "Quack Different"
13922 <@jess> unrealircd is blowjobs solanum is the superior solution
13923 <@jess> jk unrealircd is good too, pissnet for life
13924 < mst> petition to rename unreal to omorashircd
13926 < Altreus> Pretty sure it's rude to yell at people for their disorders
13927 < Adura> Unless it's hearing loss.
13929 If played correctly, both video poker and blackjack give you a slight
13930 advantage over the house. But getting a whole table to play blackjack
13931 correctly is like herding cats. Drunk, coked up cats.
13932 - /u/Creme_Bru-Doggs
13934 * gwern whips his head around. so, there *is* a vole under his oven
13935 again! looks a lot smaller than the one a few months ago, so either
13936 it's been on a serious diet or it's a vole new story...
13938 < kwispel> my bread maker asks me to fill in the ending time
13939 < kwispel> my previous dish washer just had a start button
13940 < joepie91> my dishwasher still has a ratchety knob
13941 < pedja> that sonds like something May would call Clarkson
13943 < Zr40> turns out "The watchOS update couldn't be verified because you are not
13944 connected to the internet." really means "caches were purged to make
13945 room to install update and the caches included the update image"
13946 * Zr40 will have to finish his podcast queue first
13948 < LeoNerd> VTerm::PROP_CURSORSHAPE_BLOCK => Term::CURSORSHAPE_BLOCK,
13949 < LeoNerd> VTerm::PROP_CURSORSHAPE_UNDERLINE => Term::CURSORSHAPE_UNDER,
13950 < LeoNerd> VTerm::PROP_CURSORSHAPE_BAR_LEFT => Term::CURSORSHAPE_LEFT_BAR,
13951 < LeoNerd> you wouldn't think the same author wrote both libraries, would you?
13953 < mst> LeoNerd: right, I've figured out how to fatpack .so files :D
13954 < LeoNerd> ... *blink*
13955 < LeoNerd> How... (and bear in mind this is /me/ who is asking)... How in the
13956 everloving-$EXPLETIVES[rand @EXPLETIVES] did you manage that?
13959 <erry> i told my boss off
13960 <erry> cause he opened his slack on his time off
13963 < kiboneu> btw i am a nyc resident now
13964 < mst> kiboneu: I'm so sorry
13965 < Betawolf> please know there is support available for you, it doesn't have
13968 * mst remembers the NYC pedestrian rules:
13969 < mst> green light - all cars are going to try to kill you
13970 < mst> red light - all taxis are going to try to kill you
13971 < kiboneu> it helps wake me up on my way to work
13973 <+blkshp> Anyone had any trouble with [18:58:11] <I_Am_M00t> ban me
13974 <+mst> blkshp: I have a tendency to respond with "I'm not helping you
13975 with your humiliation fetish, go hire a pro-domme already"
13976 * blkshp saves that to an alias.
13978 <erry> the covid study is now asking you to take a pcr test if you feel
13980 <erry> nah, mate, i don't think that's covid
13981 <erry> unless i've had it for 28 years
13983 <@ilmari> today's silly code: `eval { ... } or die @$;`
13985 < LeoNerd> Heh.. some amusing function names in there. SvIV_please_nomg
13986 < LeoNerd> "No magic please, we're British"
13988 < LeoNerd> I'll just go and #define PERL_NO_GET_CONTEXT at the top of
13989 Tickit.xs (a ~4.1k line file) and see what breaks. How bad can
13993 < qed> Spelling bee judge: "Your word is 'seaward'."
13994 < qed> Contestant: "C-U-N..."
13995 < qed> Judge: "DEAR GOD PLEASE STOP.
13997 < genio> I won't put mst's vaguecat in $work Slack. I won't put mst's
13998 vaguecat in $work Slack. I won't ... fuck it.
14000 < feep> the hacker news discussion resolved amicably!
14002 < feep> I am amazed also
14003 < feep> (please no commenty)
14005 <perigrin> Hahahahaha ... reason for the office move delay ... COO went to
14006 the department of buildings to file the official move paperwork
14007 and the department was locked. Apparently nobody showed up to
14010 < ggreer> I got $100 off my bedframe for leaving a good yelp review
14013 < ggreer> I edited the review to say "I got $100 off for leaving this review"
14015 < Juerd> Just encountered in actual production code: grep 1, @x
14016 < Juerd> Fortunately, @x does indeed only ever contain the number 1.
14018 <+She> I was promised that I was going to be magnetic. I was looking forward
14019 to being inherently hazardous to datacenters. I foresaw a future of
14020 glorious data-terrorism ahead of me. And all I got was a slight fever.
14022 < shawwwn> stop reading my mind
14023 < kuudes> you have to wear more layers of tinfoil
14025 < qed> My mate just deleted his Facebook account
14026 < qed> We will not see his likes again.
14028 The zoo director noticed that one of the elephants was coughing. So he decided
14029 to add vodka to this elephant's bucket of water. The next morning that
14030 elephant was completely healthy, but the other three elephants began to cough.
14031 (Russian joke, precise origin unknown)
14033 <cat-xeger> I, OTOH, recovered from yesterdays migraine in time for last
14036 < xenu> the only purpose of $@ prototype is to cause bugs
14037 < mst> xenu: you mean ... $@ is usually an error?
14038 < mst> I think anybody who's ever used eval already knew that
14041 <+Roey> My girlfriend was infatuated with roofing equipment so I gave her
14042 an ultimatum: it's either me or the equipment.
14043 <+Roey> She chose the ladder.
14045 < mst> AbleBacon: anthropomorphisation of specific code elements is
14046 helpful in order to personally hate them to the level they deserve
14047 <+AbleBacon> ah, well i've definitely referred to gstreamer as a "fucking
14048 bastard" so that makes sense
14050 <jberger> you want an odd type of pain?
14051 <jberger> try to deploy a kubernetes cluster on a bank of servers
14052 reclaimed from a network engineering conference
14053 <mst> ... every part of that sentence was cursed
14055 < Hecate> thing said today in standup meeting
14056 < Hecate> "Alright, enough perl slander, the developers might hear us.
14057 After all, we all have perl installed on our machines."
14059 < quanticle> Good news: our AWACs folks are messaging each other on a
14060 bandwidth-saving text-oriented protocol
14061 < quanticle> Bad news: the bandwidth-saving text-oriented protocol is IRC
14062 < quanticle> Worse news: their IRC client is mIRC
14064 < xiaomiao> that's like Vodafone terminating the 'old' KabelDeutschland
14065 peerings "because we have enough capacity"
14066 < xiaomiao> hint: they didn't
14068 * LeoNerd observes that the expression c/c++ is UB in both C and C++
14070 < thrig> ... production alarm fires as totally different team using a totally
14071 different language write the exact same bug as the old code had ...
14072 < thrig> luckily someone wrote a little perl script to look for this condition
14073 after the first time it happened
14075 < saturn2> if i needed to gaze into my pants i would go in the bathroom
14076 < PapuaHardyNet> if you gaze too long into the void, the void gazes back
14077 < mst> just don't dereference the void
14078 < mst> that's undefined behaviour
14080 <mst> watching other people shag is not my thing at all
14081 <mst> last time I had two female attendees decide to fuck at a house party
14082 <mst> my reaction was "good, they're enjoying themselves" and I went to sleep
14083 <mst> brought them cups of tea in the morning mind, I am an english host ;)
14085 < leitz> I'm not at audrey level, certainly. Not even at "mst after a
14086 heavy drinking weekend with no sleep" level.
14088 <@DrHyde> How's Thursday the 30th for everyone who I like?
14089 <@ilmari> works for me
14090 * mst would check his calendar but is already excluded by both geography
14091 and the phrasing of the question
14093 < Grinnz> what happened to openssl 2?
14094 < LeoNerd> Grinnz: Perhaps it got {Perl,PHP,Scheme} 6'ed?
14096 < Obormot> Man how do I even figure out what type of pillow to search for. I
14097 have no idea what the one I have is or is made of
14098 < Obormot> This is going to end with me going to some obscure phpbb web forum
14099 of hardcore pillow enthusiasts to question them
14102 < feep> we have progressed from compiler errors to SEGFAULTS let's GO
14104 < cousteau> This is an actual error message I got from that program:
14105 "WARNING: vhdl is not supported as a language. Using usenglish"
14107 < feep> I mean, this isn't even C, this is straight llvm ir
14108 < feep> it's still how it rolls tho
14109 < feep> on paper llvm is generic, in practice it's a C backend with a
14112 * daemon looks at code in editor ... hmmm come on energy and focus I
14113 know you will come to me if I stare long enough
14117 < thrig> the road to shell is paved with good indentations
14119 < Rembane> I had so many viking jokes but some dude in a longship stole 'em.
14121 <+AbleBacon> my twins ATTACK each other when they run out of food. like, the
14122 food runs out and it's every cat for itself. it's so pitiful
14123 <+AbleBacon> they've never gone more than a few hours without food in
14124 their bowl but they have like... no memory
14128 < cat-xeger> <-- focus apparently doesn't follow brain
14130 < davidfetter_work> .oO( ALTER GOTO )
14132 < zgu> cpanm is almost but not quite entirely unlike cpan
14134 < Obormot> Why is Programming in ML like Safe Sex?
14135 < Obormot> Because you can't catch any bugs but it's not much fun.
14137 -!- tomaw [tom@libera/staff/tomaw] has joined #perl
14138 < mst> tomaw: WHAT IS THE NATURE OF THE PERL5 EMERGENCY
14139 < tomaw> mst: CATALYST EMERGENCY AVOIDED
14140 < mst> tomaw: YOU MEAN YOU AREN'T DEPLOYING GMS AFTER ALL?
14142 <+Sauvin> Trying to decide if this guy is a legitimate loon or just a
14145 <sobel> reminds of when i was more ok with being unsure (about myself)
14146 than others were, so the exchanges went something like
14147 <sobel> them: u r a fag
14148 <sobel> me: maaaaaybe
14150 < marcus> Would be great if someone could cancel brexit
14151 < LeoNerd> I tried :/
14152 < felipe> Brexit::Cancel::run() ?
14153 < mst> marcus: some things, even I can't destroy :(
14156 <cat-xeger> what did you do?
14158 < ggreer> If you drive safely for a week, they’ll probably give you FSD
14159 < ggreer> Aggressive acceleration is not one of the factors they use
14160 < mst> "drive in only unsafe ways that elon does"
14163 <mackp2014> It's so busy downtown here for some reason. My hometown is
14164 becoming a tourist attraction ughhh
14165 <mackp2014> They've found us lol
14167 < rbraun> "ssleay" is a series of 6 letters i haven't seen in a long time
14168 < mst> rbraun: a more inelegant weapon, for a less civilised age
14170 <Kassandry> Ok. Cat barf cleaned up. Cat knocking things down dealt with.
14171 Now I can go get coffee and look this over.
14172 <mst> sexylosers: fap fap fap fap splort
14173 <mst> adacat: thud thud thud thud hooork
14175 < kuudes> I am pretty great, but I hope to get less great
14176 < nshepperd2> mst is probably greatest by the obvious correct measure,
14177 which is number of pockets
14179 < EvanCarroll> this langauge is insane.
14180 < ilmari> EvanCarroll: you must be new here
14182 <erry> i managed to choke on my drink and/or snack so much i had a full
14184 <erry> covid can't destroy my lungs if they are presently outside my body
14185 due to being coughed out
14187 < petern> Urgh, why the heck is @Model.Property giving a different value
14188 than <... asp-for="Property">
14189 < hikari> I have no idea.
14192 < Kassandry> Eh. She's your cat, you adjust to the peeing outside the box.
14193 < erry> talk about thinking outside the box
14194 < Kassandry> Only if it's omorashi and you're a furry...
14195 * Cadey gives Kassandry a hose and silently nods
14197 < feep> "we did a mouse there and it was intimate" --alan kay reminisces
14198 about his mousegirl waifu
14199 < feep> apparently "they had motors in it" tmi kay, tmi
14200 < gwern> he truly was decades ahead of his time
14202 < _stark_> I'm having trouble imagining a real use case for these
14203 < RhodiumToad> don't ask me, I just implemented them
14205 < thrig> horse meat has 5.03mg of Iron, while Veal has 0.99mg,
14206 < rewt> so horse is more ironic than veal?
14208 <sobel> i know this one guy who went to a "nerd/geek" themed party wearing
14209 office-casual and a paper mask with a 1 and a 0 over the eyes
14212 < Altreus> did you intentionally use wherefore wrong just to troll everyone?
14213 < mst> "wherefore art thou frob() in my namespace?"
14214 < mst> but also, yes.
14215 < Altreus> good - I was worried you'd changed
14217 < Altreus> "Why is this on CPAN" --> PERLANCAR
14218 < mst> http://trout.me.uk/noxface.jpg
14219 < Altreus> that person is melting
14220 < mst> no, he's just french
14222 < thrig> years ago you served my father in C wars
14223 < lopid> was that near the tannhauser gate?
14224 < mst> all these moments will be lost in time, like tr///s in rain
14227 < Altreus> sorry I got distracted by people on r/ADHD not reading my post
14229 < Altreus> not sure what I expected
14231 < adiabatic> on the other hand, bubonic plague
14233 11:04 < mst> mdk: TREE DACE
14234 11:04 < mst> or at least 71 hours
14235 11:05 < castaway> of morning msts?
14236 11:05 < mdk> Jingo, Jingo, Jingo
14238 < sobel> murphy was an optimist
14240 15:30 < ology> A rare and tropical TorgoX in the wild!
14241 15:32 -!- TorgoX has quit [Quit: ~~]
14242 15:35 < Grinnz> you've spooked them
14244 * GumbyPAN CPAN Upload: File-XDG-0.08 by PLICEASE
14245 < mst> plicease: every time I see an upload of that go past I wonder what
14246 you're doing to David Golden
14247 < thrig> I am a name, not a number! I will not be File...
14249 < ether> Canada apologizes for not aborting Cruz
14250 < ether> if only his mother was aboriginal, we'd have aborted him *and*
14251 given his mother a free and unplanned tubal ligation
14253 < simcop2387> LeoNerd: what happens if you do sqrt($x) = -1
14254 < mst> simcop2387: I can't possibly imagine
14255 < simcop2387> mst: it is a bit of a made up problem to be sure
14256 < mst> simcop2387: I guess it depends how complex the implementation is
14258 < LeoNerd> It's like when cats catch wasps and try to eat them... people are
14259 all like "well it has bright yellow danger stripes on it, what did
14260 you think was going to happen?".. I sympathise with the cat. It
14261 *could* have been delicious.. how would you know without trying it?
14263 < feep> And the LORD spoke to them from a whirlwind, saying: "Fornicate
14264 with female dogs, children of Israel, and acquire currency!"
14265 < feep> (This line was struck from later transcriptions.)
14267 * gwern squints as he decides on the subject for this paper. still hard to
14268 believe 'sexology' is a real word and actually the name of the field
14270 < nox> went shopping, bought myself a new perfume,
14271 < nox> remember when we joked that my haircut is femboy aesthetics?
14272 < nox> When I arrived home, I checked the perfume name,
14273 < nox> it's called "tomboy $something_i_dont_remember"
14275 <nox> In other news I was listening to music and I turned my head to look at
14276 my cat sleeping in the bedroom but I don’t have a cat anymore lolsob
14277 <nox> Fucking pets despawning
14278 <nox> Need to make themselves a better build or something, fucking casuals
14280 < cat> Bah! Nothing scary about my house. Just me, being quiet and keeping
14281 to myself, along with my six cats, five of them black ....
14282 < them> Cat, you're the scary thing in your house
14284 <+perlbot> aquanight: Couldn't pastebin output
14285 < mst> oh, yeah, the eval to pastebin function is currently having a mardy
14286 < Altreus> ah, haven't heard the term mardy used for quite some time
14287 < Altreus> except by me but I don't listen to myself as you well know
14289 < Altreus> ~==~ surely
14290 < Altreus> it looks like Wario's moustache
14291 < thrig> totoro operator when
14292 < Altreus> do not covet thy neighbour's operators
14294 < thrig> eval: $_="catcat"; $re = qr/cat/; s/$re/mlatu/g; $_
14295 <+perlbot> thrig: mlatumlatu
14296 < mst> thrig: it's a mewt point?
14297 < thrig> four of the five ends are pointy
14299 < Grinnz> myisam, aka "technically counts as a database engine"
14300 < Grinnz> in the same way kraft singles technically count as cheese product
14302 < gordonfish> s/Has/Had/ # cat licking my arm
14304 < Altreus> this pleases me: $ chsh -s csh
14305 < Grinnz> chsh -s csh shh
14306 < thrig> ba-doom csh
14308 <+AbleBacon> thank you, windows defender, from heroically protecting my
14309 computer from that EVIL open-source software
14310 < mst> I don't remember the last time it pointlessly blocked something
14311 < mst> ... which probably means I should double check it's still running
14313 < gwern> 'take a drink everytime you think asuka is cute or a bitch; take
14314 one everytime shinji is a pussy; and one everytime Misato does'
14315 'are you trying to kill me'
14317 < Obormot> In WoW, druids can transform into cats... if you gave an actual
14318 cat suitable controls, could it play a cat-form druid effectively
14319 < Obormot> (This idea inspired by our raid leader's cat walking across her
14322 < XORXERY> Every brain is a varying collection of thought-terminating clichés.
14324 < feep> I just wrote )))); in a bash script
14325 < feep> this is a clear sign that I have lost control of my life
14327 < thrig> AOL CALLING
14328 < gordonfish-> WELCOME, YOU HAVE NEW SPAM
14330 Why is it that whenever somebody is upset here they type like they're an
14331 anime villain giving a long winded monologue?
14332 - @RealYungCripp on twitter
14334 < aquanight> it occurs to me
14335 < aquanight> 45role-does.t#L58 that message should be reversed
14336 < aquanight> I might have been the idiot that wrote it
14338 < cat-xeger> I'm still trying to wake up, find motivation, that sort of thing.
14339 < erry> cat-xeger: find / -name *motivation* ?
14340 < cat-xeger> $ locate motivation
14343 < xiaomiao> velix: tl;dr: 2021 ?
14344 < velix> No covid, just stupid idiots.
14345 < velix> Covid should have killed them, but covid was too busy
14347 < phaylon> a more enthusiastic phaylon experience is available as DLC for a
14348 monthly subscription fee
14350 < LeoNerd> I found a segv case in pureperl today
14351 < LeoNerd> I'm four levels deep of trying to fix a problem, and managed
14352 to segfault it :( this is an annoying distraction
14353 < Grinnz> ah, so you pulled a mst
14355 < xocolatl> remember, the test does not end until you turn the ignition off.
14357 < bomb> pull the handbrake while driving to impress the women nearby.
14358 < xocolatl> examiners LOVE donuts!
14360 < cat-xeger> <-- sleep was too hot, too cold, too many cats, not enough cats,
14361 too much moon, too much dreaming... generally, insufficient
14363 <+wodencafe> Hypothetically, what is it?
14364 <+kPa> A string literal
14365 * She literally strings up kPa.
14367 < aquanight> what trash httpd doesn't put Last-Modified in their headers
14368 < aquanight> oh wait
14369 < aquanight> nvm it helps if I don't get 404d
14371 < cjac> oh. the maintainer got back to me. maybe we'll get a build together.
14372 < Altreus> collaboration? ugh
14373 < Altreus> bit too close to actual socialising for my taste
14374 < thrig> vichy france also collaborated
14376 < PapuaHardyNet> I read "tantric buddhism" as "tactical buddhism" and was
14377 suddenly interested
14379 < velix> kebaptime!!!!!!!!!!!!! nom nom nom
14380 < velix> oh god, my keyboard
14381 < velix> need to lick key
14382 < velix> d dddddd d g gggggggggg n
14384 < mst> I mean, honestly, the rules here can be rounded off to "don't be so
14385 obnoxious that even mst notices"
14386 < Altreus> Don't stoop lower than matt?
14387 < Altreus> Does that mean you're the dipstick?
14389 < xenu> eval: say v112.101.110.105.115
14390 <+perlbot> xenu: penis
14392 < Altreus> I'm gonna get complex statements in this code if it kills me :P
14393 < daemon> lets start a pool to see which of those happens first :DF
14395 < gwern> this is how the world ends, isn't it. 'my, these are some
14396 interesting slopes upward on the largest models'
14398 < TorgoX> In the space of four years, a guy with a hazy background founded
14399 a syncretic but often baffling religion. Oddly familiar.
14400 < TorgoX> IT'S A CINDERALLAH STORY, REALLY.
14402 <+fChanX> ("Sunshine.")>\(v_v )/
14403 <+fChanX> \( v_v)/<("Moonlight.")
14404 <+fChanX> ("Good times.")>\(v_v )/
14405 <+fChanX> (~ =_=)~<("Boogie...")
14407 < fizzie> Also, `cat <(cat)` prints "cat: -: Input/output error" which I
14408 don't want to think about at all. Some kind of Lovecraftian
14409 file descriptor tangle.
14411 < mst> my $data = do try { ... } catch ($e) { ... };
14412 < Altreus> do try, there's a good chap
14413 < LeoNerd> do try, my old boy
14414 < Altreus> bravo old bean
14416 < LeoNerd> Actually, my substance of choice today appears to be the rum
14417 and orange [yes, in that order] marmalade a friend of mine made
14419 <Kassandry> *sniff sniff sniff sniff disgusted chirrup*
14420 <Kassandry> Told you it was tacos, cat.
14422 < feep> god damn it, fallout 4 survival no stealth is such bullshit, but
14423 I keep going back to it! :V
14424 < feep> last game I was literally killed by a fly.
14425 < pompolic> unintentional pacifist run: couldn't hurt a fly
14427 < gwern> inside you there are _n_ conflict/mistake theorists. political
14428 physicists are still working out the details of the constituent
14429 'quant' particles, but have given them names like 'strange' 'up'
14430 down' 'left' 'right' 'tankie' etc
14432 < [itchyjunk]> loss is all over the place, something must be really wrong
14433 < mst> [itchyjunk]: maybe you configured it to output low res .jpg ?
14434 < feep> is this gradient
14435 < RiversHaveWings> ...someone should take the spatial gradient of loss.jpg lol
14437 < kiboneu> i want a cyber bar / cafe. the world hasn't delivered yet
14438 < rmmh> what is a cyber bar
14439 < rmmh> you go there, order a drink, and then sext with an AI?
14441 < placeb0> speaking of social interaction has anyone else had an issue
14442 with handshakes post COVID-19?
14443 < tepozoa> no, I still lick the back of their hand to establish dominance.
14444 not much has changed, just have to pull down my mask first
14446 <+kurahaupo> so why pick on Australia?
14447 < mst> (1) mentioning Australia Day was kind of a clue
14448 < mst> (2) because placeb0 is part emu and therefore your sworn enemy
14449 <+kurahaupo> AAAAAAARGH! EMU!
14451 < mst> LeoNerd: always good to be specific about how to enter your sub
14452 < LeoNerd> Hrm.. well this is more about how you leave ;)
14453 < mst> :void :scalar :list :fakephonenumber
14456 < Kobaz> Possible precedence issue with control flow operator at
14457 /usr/local/library/perl/UpgradeUtils.pm line 802.
14458 < mst> Kobaz: vaguecat
14459 < Kobaz> i know, sorry
14462 <erry> i get why they make those foldable 2 screen phones
14463 <erry> so that you can play both pokemon go and the new pikmin version of
14466 < gwern> (an apt example of muphry's law: any complaint about typos or
14467 grammar errors will itself be erroneous.)
14469 <erry> "please turn off your video before you stick that swab up your
14470 nostril" is not a phrase I thought I'd ever say but here we are
14472 <nox> Reminds me that I probably need to put away my I LOVE ANAL lighter
14473 before my mum comes to visit again
14475 < jnap> look what you did mst, I promised myself a nap and now I'm
14476 reading a dissertation
14478 < sobel> i'm so congested alexa didn't understand me
14479 < sobel> really, it's my kid's AI, i only ever say "computer STOP"
14480 because her alarm goes off incessantly
14481 < sobel> but today it wouldn't seem to understand my saying, "cob puter stob"
14483 < Dom> I had an email a few days ago to say I had new message(s) in my
14484 inbox. I logged in and there was no inbox.
14485 < Dom> I logged in again today and it said I had 1 new message(s). I read
14486 *both* of them and now I have -1 remaining.
14488 < alh> Don't hold your breath
14489 < mst> if I was going to asphyxiate somebody to make this feature happen it
14490 wouldn't be -me- I'd choose, no.
14491 < alh> I'm not fully aware of your ... proclivities
14493 <sobel> someone told him perl was crusty and now that's a fact for him
14494 <sobel> like, shit mang. don't tell anyone how old unix is.
14495 <sobel> gonna be hell to pay when they find out we made all the machines
14496 out of fucking beach sand
14498 < revhippie> > ALLOW_INVALID_DATES may be useful for Web applications that
14499 obtain year, month, and day in three different fields and store
14500 exactly what the user inserted, without date validation.
14501 < revhippie> well, that's handy, mysql. "this is intended to support garbage."
14503 < shaldannon> what they say about California ... "where the earth moves
14504 and the traffic doesn't"
14506 -!- sobel [~matt@66.219.34.76] has joined #chat
14507 < sobel> welp, there goes the neighborhood
14508 < phaylon> it sometimes already feels like eli roth directed an episode
14509 of sesame street, so not sure we'll notice :)
14511 < gwern> ... oh geez, he just died, so emailing him is definitely out of
14514 <+wodencafe> throw new AssertionError("No
14515 java.nio.charset.StandardCharsets instances for you!");
14516 <+wodencafe> This is actually in the standard library. Hooligans.
14518 < ragingrobot> aol: "yo, what's up?" "asl" "i'm so fucked today, my dog got
14519 hit by a truck" "asl" "tomorrow i may die of cancer" "asl"
14520 < audio> 18/f/cali ;)
14521 < ragingrobot> irl: that translates to 65/m/alabama
14523 < quanticle> who serves dinner parties with actual linen napkins anymore?
14524 < catern> as a millenial I prefer paper towels
14525 < mst> catern: I guess it would feel bad if the place settings were less
14526 disposable than you are, sure
14528 < mst> "what's the difference between america and yoghurt?" "if you leave
14529 yoghurt on its own for long enough, eventually it develops a culture"
14530 < quanticle> I mean, tbf, that's a difference between America and *milk*
14531 < quanticle> Once it develops the culture, it's yogurt
14533 < xiaomiao> friesisch?
14534 < sobel> esperanto, lojban
14535 < xiaomiao> it made more sense in the original klingon
14537 < ether> I hear IKEA's CEO was elected prime minister of Sweden. He's
14538 now busy assembling his cabinet.
14540 <mst> I didn't want to have a go at him but also "FFS, kid"
14542 <sobel> my god are we becoming responsible elders or something
14543 <mst> what a terrifying thought
14545 < feepbot> <gwern> https://twitter.com/CatWorkers/status/1458441028013371397
14546 < |dbotdan> cats with jobs (@CatWorkers, 2021-11-10 14:26) Images:
14547 https://nitter.skrep.in/pic/media%2FFD1sXR3XIAYqev-.jpg
14548 (description: a cat with a sign on its back; confidence: 0.48)
14550 < Kassandry> Push them off a balcony into a pool of alligators?
14551 < sungo> at the time, yeah that was a possiblity. the second floor fire
14552 escape that we all used to avoid walking past the project
14553 managers, at the time, was directly over animal infested swamps
14555 <erry> 2 aroaces sitting in a tree; H E L P U S W E C A N T G E T D O W N
14557 < velix> oh dear, pg_receivewal needs replication sluts
14559 < mst> .oO "promiscuous replication"
14560 < davidfetter> I guess they're always in a dtf state
14562 < velix> The left-overs from the vietnamese guy are tasty.
14563 < velix> Wait, that sounds crazy.
14564 -!- velix is now known as vorelix
14566 -!- GeekRuthie has joined #chat
14567 * GeekRuthie finds her way back in.
14568 * GeekRuthie hunts for something to blame on pirateFinn.
14569 < pirateFinn> Oh no what did I forget I did now
14571 < ragingrobot> brb makin myself a raktajino
14572 <+bin> whats your raktajino recipe, ragingrobot
14573 < ragingrobot> bin: I try to keep it simple: espresso, cinnamon, cardamom
14574 < ragingrobot> and maybe a little whiskey for an O'Brien raktajino :)
14576 < mst> I quite like sticking a half scoop of chocolate ice cream into coffee
14577 <+She> mst: We call this mixture "affrontgato".
14579 < phaylon> the building I grew up with was originally accidentally built
14580 without toilets in 1923
14582 <+wodencafe> Don't worry, I'm laughing at you, not with you.
14584 < sobel> learning to work with the tools now baked into modern languages
14585 has been super interesting to me. i'm receptive to gripes about
14586 'automagic' languages but making sand produce computation is
14587 already sufficient magic to me
14589 <mst> damnit where is my awake
14591 <erry> if you find it let me know if mine is also there
14593 * TBSliver was pinged... *sees Oracle mentioned* Nope. Nope nope nope
14595 < mst> > "Look I know I'm wrong but every time I hear the word "gastropub" a
14596 little voice in my head immediately whispers "...pub for snails"
14597 < LeoNerd> If a gastropub had little covid-safe eating booths for every
14598 customer, could you call those gastropods?
14600 < LeoNerd> Oh boo.. I fixed that bug but forgot to work in a reference to
14601 "self-sealing stem bolts" in the comments
14603 <erry> but i feel bad about it
14604 <mst> yes, well, that happens no matter what
14605 <mst> "roll a d6 on the anxietying erry table"
14606 <erry> *rolls a nat 20 on a d6*
14608 < LeoNerd> Personal update: My leg operation actually happened, finally.
14609 < mst> LeoNerd: is it still attached?
14610 < LeoNerd> I guess so. I mean, I can wiggle my toes and see them
14611 < LeoNerd> So either that, or your Object::Remote has gained new abilities ;)
14613 < ether> so my husband and I have decided we don't want children.
14614 < ether> we'll be telling them tonight.
14616 No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here
14617 Mostly embarrassing deeds, as a matter of fact
14619 < neilb> p5p's law: "it's a bit more weird and twisted than you might
14620 imagine, even when you take into account p5p's law"
14622 < [Tux]> sudo cpupower frequency-set -g performance ; make -j8
14623 < ilmari> TIL cpupower. I've just been fiddling about in
14624 /sys/devices/system/cpu/cpufreq/ like some kind of caveman
14626 < ilmari> try and avoid imagining extra problems that don't exist -
14627 programming is hard enough when you only have to deal with the
14629 < ilmari> Step back. Explain what you're trying to achieve.
14631 < sungo> you know, the thing I want right now is an aerosol version of
14632 the vaccine. then i want to hire all those assholes that
14633 non-consensually spray me with cologne at the mall or wherever,
14634 stock them with the aersol vaccine and let them loose in crowds
14636 < sungo> right now I kinda want to murder things. well, more than usual.
14638 < sobel> definitely gonna stop that malicious curl traffic by threatening the
14639 author of a world-famous http util. it literally pulls the cat right
14640 back into the bag, amazing.
14641 < sobel> my actual cat said raow right after i sent that
14643 < k-man> i wish there was a wwmstdo function
14644 < k-man> what would mst do
14645 < k-man> you input a cpan module, and it outputs what mst would use instead
14647 <Kassandry> Fucking mornings. I have so much adrenaline going through me
14648 I swear if I sneeze Vulcans are going to land in Montana
14649 asking "That was most fascinating. Humans got a warp core
14650 faster than we thought."
14652 < Hecate> love my db admin
14653 < Hecate> > but technically, for my part, the app is doing the
14654 ratelimiting on the db. by crashing, which is bad, but my
14655 precious db is ok ! :)
14657 < perigrin> asynchronous programming, Three most common problems:
14658 caching, fenceposts, naming things (including verbs)
14660 <erry> Anyway after that our PM told them to calm the fuck down and to
14661 make a ticket and prioritise it
14662 <erry> Suddenly it's not a "do it yesterday" emergency
14663 <erry> it talks to the product manager or it gets the hose
14665 * LeoNerd mildly amused there's a debian package called wbritish-insane
14667 < sobel> i'm so over it. i used to try to make jokes like, "i could hire
14668 better coders at Build-a-Bear workshop" but THEY'RE NOT FUNNY
14670 < random> I am having a day of Pol WTF Did You DO?
14671 < random> (Disney Plus doesn't work on the wifi)
14672 < random> ...if my wifi is somehow bouncing through Hetzner...
14674 < cat-xeger> bad day. no biscuits.
14675 -!- LeoNerd [~leo@genoa.dictatorshipcake.co.uk] has joined #chat
14676 < LeoNerd> \o/ I return
14677 * cat-xeger drops teh bin of biscuits on leonerd's toes
14679 < phaylon> mst: je m'appelle phaylon, je suis un fromage <- all I got left
14681 < cat-xeger> welp... I just caused the marketing rep's brain/script to go boom
14682 < cat-xeger> "could you answer just with a letter which range you and your
14683 spouses combined salary are in?" "my spouse is dead" <pause>
14685 -!- TorgoX [~torgo@S010610561194533f.ed.shawcable.net] has joined #perl
14686 < TorgoX> FROZEN PIPE woooo-hoooooo!
14687 < TorgoX> And I don't mean the thing from when you close a channel from
14688 my $DONGS, "-|", "ls", "--sort=size" too early
14690 When my friend was getting his degree in Economics he said that someone
14691 had made a graffiti on one of the desks in the lecture hall that was the
14692 Guns 'n Roses logo but it said "Guns 'n Butter". :)
14695 < TrueWolves> The best part of computers is they do exactly what they've
14696 been told. The worst part of computers is they do exactly
14697 what they've been told, and you're not always the one
14698 they're listening to.
14700 < sobel> claims of a new "roaring twenties" seem to be greatly exaggerated
14701 < sungo> we assumed that we humans would be doing the roaring. if you're
14702 a coronavirus, this decade fucking rules
14704 < ilmari> we were talking about HTTP GET with a body the other day. today
14705 I discovered an API that uses DELETE with a body!
14706 < mst> ilmari: WHAT
14707 < mst> ilmari: *WHAT*
14709 < Altreus> thank you for loosening that rope before I kicked the chair away
14711 < mst> I'm sure you'll come in handy for -something- later
14712 < Altreus> Bring seasoning
14714 < sobel> i had a very unusual thing happen to me this morning. my stereo
14715 remote ran its batteries dead. they usually get lost or the
14716 equipment is outdated or failed first.
14718 < cd> I turn 45 in just over two weeks, how did I manage to survive this long?
14719 < ccooke> cd: Spite?
14720 < cd> but I'm too lazy to be spiteful...
14721 < ccooke> Did I say it was *your* spite?
14723 < Dom> I remember when we had just completed moving a load of kit from
14724 the datacentre in Chelmsford to the one in Hemel Hempstead and
14725 were happy that it had gone live without a hitch.
14726 < Dom> That was the day before the Buncefield storage depot blew up.
14728 -!- LeoNerd [~leo@jaffa.dictatorshipcake.co.uk] has joined #io-async
14729 < LeoNerd> A new cake
14730 < LeoNerd> (A good British jaffa cake, because it's now hosted in DO's
14731 LON-1 dc, rather than genoa being in AMS)
14733 < mst> oh for fuck's sake I typed 'gaurd clause'
14734 < mst> welp, fuckit, close enough
14735 < ether> better than gourd clause
14736 < ether> where's your perl pumpkin now
14738 < Altreus> The nice thing about Perl is that no matter how much effort
14739 people put into protecting you from yourself, there's always a
14741 < LeoNerd> Perl: Sufficient Rope
14743 < PapuaHardyNet> man, child swapping sounds so wrong
14744 < PapuaHardyNet> it reminds me of wife swapping
14745 < mst> do not fuck the other person's child
14746 < adiabatic> hey, it's not incest anymore, right?
14748 -!- Irssi: Starting query in libera with jberger
14749 <mst> FUCK YOU WITH A RAKE AND GROUND GLASS CHILLI LUBE
14750 <jberger> I mean, I guess I probably deserve it, but why?
14751 <mst> oh, good, I -am- connected to libera again
14753 <erry> the HR sent a test email of job change accidentally
14754 <erry> anyway my job title is now ""
14756 < cat-xeger> I laughed loudly enough to get the cats to pay attention
14758 < cyborg_ar> just get a roll of heavy duty aluminum foil
14759 < cyborg_ar> then you can make a stylish hat to wear too
14760 < ChuangTzu> stylish and functional
14761 < Hecate> did someone say Haskell™?
14763 < peerce> i wonder when the bean counters will finally figure out that
14764 outsourcing everything just leads to dreck.
14765 < sobel> oh they did, and they chose dreck
14767 < cat-xeger> Cant type
14768 < mst> -!- cat-xeger is now known as javascript
14769 < cat-xeger> Oh c'mon... I only screwed up letters, not letters and
14772 <+Sauvin> Ladies and gentlemen, this airplane is about to crash. Fasten
14773 your seatbelts and put your heads between your knees.
14774 <+Sauvin> Um, sir, between your *own* knees.
14776 < gwern> the real question: can gray goo run Doom?
14777 < PlanckWalk> I'm sure it can, but does it want to?
14778 < gwern> the hackers will make sure it does
14779 < gwern> they'll defy being eaten just to hack Doom and a NES emulator onto it
14781 < Obormot> -1 byte, lol
14782 < Obormot> If you request this URL, the GW server reaches into your computer
14783 and takes 1 byte away from you
14785 * gwern googles 'epub icon' and calls the designers into his office. 'we
14786 worked hard! they're great aren't they' 'EVERY SINGLE ONE IS A SQUARE WITH
14787 THE WORD 'EPUB' IN IT' 'WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING' 'BECAUSE YOU ARE BAD
14788 DESIGNERS AND SHOULD FEEL BAD'
14790 < adiabatic> quanticle: you forgot I am one of the RETVRN types here
14791 < mst> adiabatic: I don't believe you, I've never yet seen you GOSUB
14793 < adiabatic> eh, point
14795 < Obormot> Surely it's not intuitive or natural to make the connection from
14796 "this is a link to some sort of big file I guess" to "if I mouse
14797 over this link then my browser will detonate and take out half my
14798 apartment block in the ensuing explosion"
14800 < hobbs> I did not know there was a River Exe
14801 < simcop2387> i'm sure england has lots of exes. i blame henry the viii
14803 < hobbs> to be fair, he did his part to reduce the number
14805 < LeoNerd> After two solid days of trying to hack up Parse::Man to
14806 actually understand the output of pod2man, it finally runs to
14807 completion and outputs... something. My quote: "Well, it is
14808 wrong. But it's not *that* wrong"
14810 < ilmari> last time I used openstack I broke anyone sharing a group with
14812 < ilmari> behold the åsome power of my name \o/
14814 <mst> I would not expect you to take swings at people ... I would expect
14815 you to smile sweetly at the time and then wait several years until
14816 you had the opportunity to slide a knife up under their ribcage in
14817 a dark alley ... while also smiling sweetly
14819 < erry> my friend recommended the nitro cold brew
14820 < erry> in other news keep an eye out for news of an overcaffeinated enby
14821 scaling the empire state building
14823 * erry wakes up, nopes, takes sick/mental health day, goes back to bed
14824 < erry> it wanted a description in the sick day request
14825 < erry> i put "my brain is a potato"
14826 < erry> i think that's accurate
14828 < ether> I don't want to contemplate what "it" is.
14832 < erry> there's a "genderfluid" joke there i guess
14834 < xiaomiao> tl;dr: intel hates everything, especially you
14836 < mst> there are non-hipster parts of brooklyn?
14837 < Obormot> Yes! There's The Orthodox Jewish Part, The Russian Part, The
14838 Chinatown Part, and of course The Part Where You Will Get Your
14839 Ass Capped For Real Tho
14841 < cat-xeger> ah, the fun of trying to make it up the stairs in the dark
14842 with black cats rushing past...
14844 < mdk> Hah. Just found out that kids break up tomorrow at 2p.m. so I
14845 cannot make my own meeting
14847 < LeoNerd> Also: Whatwhywhat are you doing?
14849 < marcus> Just tell them “it’s your fault for making me talk to mst”.
14851 12:48 < cat-xeger> blearfthud
14852 12:52 < erry> same thanks
14853 12:52 < erry> well not right now because i'm caffeinated
14854 12:52 < erry> but i definitely woke up with blearfthud
14856 14:38 < BinGOs> mst: hey when you have a chance can you +o GumbyNET5 and
14857 GumbyNET7 on #cpantesters please. Many tanks in advance
14858 [fx: mst throws /mode #cpantesters +oo GumbyNET5 GumbyNET7 at the problem]
14859 14:43 < BinGOs> Many tanks in advance" was what happened at the Battle of Kursk
14861 < castaway> see "staging is talking to the production db" ;)
14862 < pirateFinn> ....oh
14863 * pirateFinn screams
14865 <Kassandry> Manager in a meeting: "Lacey doesn't carry makeup, she has a
14866 system rescue cd" Me: "No, I have the system rescue cd on a
14867 USB stick right next to my chapstick"
14869 < ilmari_> Nicholas: yep, I've added a keyword highlight for ilmari_
14870 < Nicholas> and for lunch_ ? :-)
14871 < ilmari_> Nicholas: baguette in the park from the Greek cafe
14872 < mst> ilmari_: on a scale of 0 to nox, how angry was the baguette?
14874 * mst offers tea and/or hugs and/or bourbon
14875 <sobel> thanks, and through the magic of irc's baked-in international
14876 currency and liquor converter, i'm enjoying a nice cloudy sake
14878 < Su-Shee> I tried to cleanup my bookmarks/tabs. Only 472 tabs to go
14880 < huf> are you a soldier of napoleon or are you just happy to see me?
14881 < huf> (Every French soldier carries a marshal's baton in his knapsack.
14883 < mst> huf: don't you get france all over my diaper fetish bitch
14885 <mst> I may be a bit out of touch here, but only in the sense of "I was
14886 getting punched in the head by chav idiots while you were still in
14889 < mst> Machi Basad.
14891 < mst> Machi Bhasad.
14892 < Mithaldu> bloodywood?
14894 <mst> I try to be nice. I really do.
14895 <mst> but at a certain point, "fair game" applies.
14896 <mst> or: "who does he think he is?"
14897 <mst> me: "how sure are you that you want the answer to that question?"
14899 < ilmari> so many faces, so few palms
14901 < zelest> but then again, you also have voice control for everything on a Tesla
14902 < zelest> you can even say "open butthole" to open the charge port :)
14904 <mst> the only indoor only cat I can think of is Darwin and that's cos he
14905 has dental issues that means he'd hurt himself if he killed anything
14906 <Kassandry> I need more coffee. I read that as "mental issues"
14907 <mst> I mean, that too.
14909 < pndc> Some of us gain tact and manners in our dotage.
14910 < pndc> For example, I politely informed a crypto recruiter I was not
14911 interested and left it at that without even using four-letter words.
14913 < phaylon> truth of the day: vegan salami counts as salad
14915 < sobel> i used to get bank holidays off, then i took an arrow to the knee
14917 < mst> cat-xeger: metaphorically, yes, very much
14918 < mst> cat-xeger: literally? not with a borrowed cock.
14919 < cat-xeger> That's infinitely funnier when I think of it as some poor,
14920 scrawny, borrowed rooster.
14922 < alh> mst: You're far too kind
14923 < mst> alh: not something I get accused of often :D
14924 < alh> A part of me did die inside while typing that
14926 < mst> plicease: "I've gone blind, Arthur!" "No you haven't, you're
14927 wearing your peril sensitive sunglasses and it's 2022"
14928 < thrig> perl sensitive sunglasses might be reasonable
14930 < two2thehead> By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally
14931 interpreted the bible correctly
14932 < two2thehead> "A man who lays with another man should be stoned"
14934 < revhippie> It's the Gordon Ramsay of code review?
14935 < TieUpYourCamel> well yeah except Gordon Ramsay doesn't do "gentle"
14936 < thrig> paging Dr. mst paging Dr. mst code to review
14938 < Altreus> this is so weird ... does this just not work or something
14939 < thrig> a) firewall b) proxy c) other
14940 < Altreus> literally just installed it on my digital ocean
14941 < thrig> c) cloud d) other
14943 21:42 < cat-xeger> I'm sure there are better things in this world than a comfy
14944 heated chair and a purring cat, but... can't think of any
14946 22:24 < cat-xeger> different, more demanding cat, same setup
14948 < zelest> the "h" in "system development" stands for happiness
14950 < nox> mst: Do you have weird people with sticks, who pretend they can
14951 find water sources with them?
14952 < mst> nox: ohhh, dowsing rods
14953 < nox> mst: This thread has people using dowsing rods to find gas pipes
14955 < ilmari> I'm going to bruges with some friends of mine in november, and
14956 they're planning on getting the 08:16 eurostar
14957 < ilmari> I might just get the 18:04 the day before …
14958 < DrHyde> hours with a zero in them just shouldn't be allowed.
14960 < mst> mostly I refer to en_US as either 'English (rebellious colonial)'
14961 or 'English (but afraid of the letter u)'
14962 < Myon> 'English (center of the world)' and 'English (centre of the world)'
14963 < Berge> "English (favourite language)", "English (favorite language)"
14965 < mst> but also this is the spirit of perl
14966 < mst> if we hadn't already decided we could live with that trade-off,
14967 why the fuck are we even here? :D
14970 < kerio> [patrik]: i was thinking of occasionally selecting a field or two
14971 and inserting and reading back 500mb of json blob
14972 < [patrik]> 500mb of json seems to be a broken design. whats in that json?
14975 < zelest> Me and the lady booked a cabin like that going from Berlin to Sweden
14976 < zelest> The train boards a ship and goes by sea to Sweden
14977 < zelest> So.. I've literally had sex on a train AND a boat at the same time!
14978 < zelest> #weirdflex
14980 <cat-xeger> "slept" like crap last night... was also a cat highway
14982 < cat-xeger> It's 03:30 here.
14985 < erry> that's a forbidden hour xD
14987 < Nicholas> Beware of low flying meetings
14988 * ilmari spots one on the horizon (16:00)
14989 * ilmari decides he wants a steak sandwich
14990 < ilmari> decision paralysis, what's that?
14991 < Nicholas> a recipie for starvation
14993 < kd> this is bad code, it's got cancer
14994 < kd> in fact it's so bad its cancer has got cancer
14996 < gwern> a programmer goes to his psychiatrist. 'doc, I keep seeing giant
14997 snakes in my dreams attacking me, do I have penis problems?
14998 FREUD: "No, you just have Python dependency and migration problems.
14999 I'm afraid psychoanalysis is powerless to help. That will be $120.
15001 <erry> they have nitro cold brew in this wework
15002 <erry> i want to try that at some point
15003 <erry> they might have to remove me from the london eye when i climb it
15004 <erry> but that's a small sacrifice to make
15006 < simcop2387> ok car names work too well when prefixed with "Anal". Ford: Anal
15007 Explorer, Anal Focus, Anal Fiesta. Dodge: Anal Charger, Anal
15008 Challenger, Anal Avenger, Anal Ram. Jeep: Anal Wrangler.
15009 < simcop2387> oh and Ford: Anal Probe
15011 < pragma-> sticky headers and footers are kind of annoying
15012 < pragma-> especially the ones that appear only when you scroll up
15013 < thrig> there's a sticky header in irssi
15014 < LeoNerd> I had a sticky footer once...turned out someone had spilled treacle
15016 < Altreus> Remember <noscript>? We should have that but for monitors.
15017 <nomouse>Your fingers are too fat to use this site. Get a PC</>
15019 < buu> Cats have boundaries and dogs have codependence
15021 < mst> did you know: there is an RFC for transmitting SOAP over SMTP
15022 < Zr40> mst: I did not want to know that
15023 < sobel> mst: I did not want to know that
15024 < mst> neither did I, which is why I obviously had to share.
15026 < LeoNerd> Currently, the Voyager 1 space probe is over 14 billion miles
15027 away from Earth, receding at a speed of 38 thousand miles per
15028 hour, and I for one don't blame it
15030 <erry> i've been in the UK for over 10 years now
15031 <erry> do i get cake
15032 <erry> at this stage if ther's a celebratory cake for living in the uk
15033 it's probably upside down and on fire
15035 -!- Blue-Maned_Hawk [~Thunderbi@2600:1700:e4c0:9ea0::518] has quit [Quit:
15036 why do we call it oven when of in cold the food of out hot eat the food]
15038 <sevvie> I've been bouncing between projects at work because they are pure
15039 calcified snot at moving on anything.
15041 <sobel> at some point a friend tried to describe me succinctly, and i
15042 don't remember her description, but i remember my correction: i
15043 just have a way of stating the obvious in such a way as to annoy
15046 Coffee FIRST. Plug in the cat. Read the daily hatemail.
15047 Despair for the future of humanity. Buy Whiskey.
15048 -- from @Stonekettle's twitter bio
15050 < Su-Shee> sorry for my weird typos, german and english kezboard
15052 < kd> there's a comment in the code saying the work was abandoned due to
15054 < mst> kd: there is still code in DBIC to rewrite JOIN stuff to oracle 8
15055 < kd> I'll be in my bunk
15057 < mst> the inside of my head is usually far more interesting than other
15058 people even when sober, so, sure :D
15059 < erry> mst: i'm sure "interesting" is one word for it..
15061 * mst tries to keep his drinking to a reasonable-ish level
15062 < mst> after all, both my parents died of lung cancer, I've got a family
15063 tradition to keep up
15064 < alh> Your realize your lungs aren't in your hips, right?
15066 <Kassandry> Reminds me of the time another student complained about being
15067 graded on a curve, and the teacher said "We're grading on a
15068 curve because the only one who would have passed is Lacey"
15070 < simcop2387> i cannot think of anything more appropriate.
15071 https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-63423811
15072 < Paper> Link title(s): [ Piet Mondrian artwork displayed upside down for
15073 75 years - BBC News ]
15075 < Rosemary> A few years back a python escaped two streets away from here and
15076 the owner was just like "keep your cats indoors but honestly it'll
15077 have just curled up somewhere, it's too cold for it" and sure
15078 enough it showed up three gardens down the street.
15080 < sobel> no really, you wanted php to run client side too
15081 * sobel takes an antacid
15083 <erry> testosterone implies the existence of stagingosterone and prodtosterone
15085 < mst> we already said don't do that
15086 < PapaChub> As a wise person once said: "learning crazy shit is fine by me"
15087 < mst> don't accuse me of being wise
15088 < mst> I'm just a madman with a box
15090 < dmq> leonerd: when i first read your message i thought you said
15091 "midevil" instead of "nontrivial". :-)
15092 < LeoNerd> dmq: You know me, why would I pick the *mid* evil? Go full
15095 < rmmh> "School fined after pupil suffers 'terrible burns' and loses 8
15096 fingers after trying to make cast of her hands with plaster of
15097 paris" what's in the box? pain
15099 < sobel> i don't really want to be up but here i am
15100 < sobel> bed was warm and i was under a cat but he decided it was time
15102 < sobel> i don't make the rules around here, i just pay the bills
15104 * Altreus starts a fire
15105 < Altreus> not that I'm any good at it. Fucking burn
15106 < Altreus> I dunno how the fuck people burn their houses down with a cigarette
15107 when I can't make shit burn that's designed to fucking burn
15109 < erry> i'm not good at computers
15110 < mst> well, yeah, you only spent a year working for me, I had limited
15111 time to train you up
15115 < mst> fuck's sake. sorry about that. thought I'd got it bolted back together
15116 < LeoNerd> Ahyes, I've had bolts like that...
15117 < simcop2387> self sealing stem bolts?
15119 <erry> speaking of names, some times people think it's pronounced like 'eerie'
15120 <erry> very eerie, much enby, such blob, wow
15121 <erry> it's pronounced like 'error', of course
15122 <erry> that's why my slack 'job title' is 'internal server erry'
15124 < ether> the cat just came and gave me a headbonk, and she smells like bacon
15126 < Altreus> Every extra dot is an extra is
15127 < Altreus> That's an ellipsisis
15129 < Altreus> Ellipsis is 3 dots and that's 4 so it's an ellipsisis
15131 < mst> I was a founding hackspace member because it seemed like a cool idea
15132 ... but then never showed up because frankly I'd've just been underfoot
15133 < LeoNerd> One of our founders was quite similar
15134 < LeoNerd> He then moved to California and we didn't notice for quite a while
15136 < Mithaldu> i feel like i'm having to explain a magic trick to a dog
15138 * ilmari hears lots of honking outside, looks at sportsball results
15139 < ilmari> ah, morocco beat spain 3-0 on penalties
15141 < mst> perl lets you do stuff simply and that's Not Wrong
15142 < mst> but it also gives you a fuckload of extra power if you want it
15143 < mst> that's the aesthetic :D
15144 < thrig> swiss army footgun
15146 * pedja wonders how long until "we travel back in time to steal satoshi's
15147 btc stash" heist movie
15148 < mst> pedja: given the state of the crypto industry presumably that would
15149 mean building a reTARDIS ?
15151 < mst> I hate CDATA so much
15152 < huf> it's really great for incompetent php programmers when they cant
15153 write escaping correctly
15154 < huf> CDATA gives them false hope
15156 * erry gets under electric blanket tho
15157 <mst> hey. I grabbed the jumper.
15158 <mst> that means it's actually cold :D
15159 <erry> yeah that must mean it's like -40 there
15162 15:38 <erry> arghhhhhhhhhhh
15163 15:41 <erry> argh argh argh argh argh argh
15165 < mst> vms14: that's what try/catch is for
15166 < vms14> I'd say a warning would be enough
15167 < thrig> and then noise and then 2>/dev/null and then a critical bug gets
15168 missed and Amazon Payments went down
15170 < LeoNerd> I wonder about the other kinds of kebabs... blitzen kebab,
15172 < thrig> time to rein in that imagination
15174 <mst> them: The cats have sodding dropped slugs on my bare chest before
15175 <mst> me: Bet that left you feeling salty
15176 <cat-xeger> cats always know too much.
15177 <cat-xeger> also, yeah, helps to get a grip.
15179 < thrig> peace sells, but who is dying?
15180 < vms14> thrig: the one who gets his code mantained by mst
15181 < vms14> he will come with his captured rats to devour you
15182 < vms14> you're lucky cause you'll just make more rat juice
15184 < perigrin> and the rats weren't captured, they came willingly ... he rescued
15185 them from toke.c ... they were afraid of gnawing their way out
15186 because even rats aren't sure what happens if you make changes to
15189 < thrig> := temporary ::= super temporary :::= temporary and eject warp core
15191 <mst> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
15192 <mst> fucking children
15193 <mauke> .oO( do not fuck the children )
15196 < ilmari> Optimist: The glass is half full.
15197 Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
15198 Excel: The glass is January 2nd.
15200 < v`> mst: supermarket has an imported from europe aisle so i looked for
15201 the chocolate biscuits your pet rat liked but they're not there
15202 * v` bitterly disappointed
15204 < erry> huh, there's sun
15205 < erry> i think i'd forgotten what sun is
15206 < Altreus> I WANNA FEEL WHAT SUN IS ♫
15207 < cat-xeger> Stay away from the fusion reactor, dammit!
15209 <mst> after the day I discovered a core handler in a CGI::Application
15210 codebase deployed under mod perl that did part of its dispatch by
15211 doing a string eval of an unvalidated and unescaped query parameter
15212 very little scares me anymore
15214 < erry> for legal reasons i'm not going to blow up westminster
15216 < erry> *coughs a lung out*
15218 < Hecate> erry: RIO -> Rest In Ouzo
15220 < mst> the only sane interaction with File::Slurp is removing it and replacing
15221 it with something that actually works
15222 < mst> hence the rage level attached to me discussing it :)
15223 < ology> select rage_level from mst where discussion like '%File::Slurp%';
15225 < peerce> 9.6 ? why such an ancient version ?
15226 < ButtDog> Was using a dockerfile I found. It happened to use it.
15227 < peerce> wow do you pick up used gum off the street, and chew it too?
15230 < two2thehead> Why yes, it *does* look like he's using meat to bait the crane.
15232 < feep> rent-a-friend-who-is-a-girl, the new, somehow even sadder, manga
15235 < gwern> the hit new toyline, SaaSy Girl
15237 * gwern squints. is this a code for weird sex things
15238 < mst> gwern: not everything is an in-your-end-o
15239 < gwern> mst: ha, like I believe that coming from you!
15240 < mst> gwern: emphasis on 'coming' I guess
15242 < mst> I'm still disappointed they never did a Guitar Hero: Nirvana Edition
15243 < mst> the custom editions usually came with an extra instrument and I was
15244 looking forwards to the shotgun
15245 < sobel> you can play the Elvis edition on the toilet
15247 < erry> > what's the capital of greece
15248 < erry> > about 20 euros
15250 < CoJaBo> The first bad sign was finding a connecting rod in the tire.
15252 < mst> a true pro like Laura Loomer doesn't even need a connecting rod.
15253 < CoJaBo> Apparently, neither do we
15255 < Obormot> What if someone on your staff is so distraught about potential
15256 data loss that they're about to jump out a window
15257 < gwern> 'I see. you make a good case for killing yourself. once you
15258 implement that, I'll close your ticket.'
15260 < Zr40> the raw value wraps around at 2^28 as does the health value
15261 < mst> just apply the same code you're already using to handle SNMP data
15263 < Zr40> which I suppose means I am
15268 < simcop2387> also there's a cat in the way and i can't see what i'm typing
15270 < user> why is my development server restarting every request
15271 < user> oh, the change detection code is seeing the sqlite WAL files
15272 < mst> but that code defaults to only looking in lib/ and templates/
15273 < user> I don't like subdirs so I put everything possible in one directory
15275 < feep> they call it 'oven' even though of out hot eat the food
15276 < feep> they call it 'oven' even though of out hot eat the food
15277 < feep> ..... oops sorry, you are not the right xterm to arrow up return in
15279 < XORXERY> It occurred to me some years ago that the mating call of the
15280 nerd is: May I put my one into your zero?
15282 < tm604> dvorak user located
15283 < mst> arming lawn defence cannon
15284 < huf> lawns are white supremacist, so please dont defend them
15285 < tm604> white? the fuck you been feeding your grass?
15287 < erry> there's screenshots of target substituting tampons for mushrooms
15289 < mst> I guess whether that makes sense depends on whether you have a
15290 Donald Trump fetish
15292 < geir> Is there a word for misspelling words because you usually write
15293 something similar? Such as serve => server, or normal => normail.
15294 < perigrin> I call it 'typing'
15296 < erry> me: accidentally cmd+p on my mac terminal
15297 < erry> the terminal: shows me a print preview, complete with syntax
15298 highlighting colours
15299 < erry> me: youtriedstar.jpg
15301 <mst> heh. it just occurred to me that the people I used to refer to as
15302 'right SJWs' are even better described as 'Mirror Universe Wokescolds'
15303 <Kassandry> OMG WOKESCOLD LORCA
15304 <Kassandry> Mr Rhys, could I trouble you to whine at something
15306 < nox> mst: Yeah saw the entire thread and when I was reading the lack of
15307 caffeine part I almost walked head first in a pole in the street
15308 so that was pretty appropriate
15310 Attempting an earnest conversation with someone from Gawker on Twitter is
15311 like attempting to play Risk with a dog.
15314 < EvanCarroll> HALLO EVERYONE IT IS I, EVAN THE GREAT
15315 * mst removes the top three layers of your skin
15316 < mst> BEHOLD, EVAN THE GRATED
15317 < thrig> probably a lot of grating for a pound of flesh
15319 < Altreus> It's an extra skill, I've found, to build one in a tiny iron stove
15320 that you can barely fit a damn log in.
15321 < Kassandry> Or you chop the logs smaller, burn a hotter fire, and be toasty.
15322 < Altreus> I tried chopping them. I broke the patio.
15324 < dbohdan> Let's wait until Friday the 13th and see what simcop2387 posts
15325 before we judge his authenticity
15326 < simcop2387> so you're asking for a bunch of gay porn then?
15327 < dbohdan> Only for verification process
15329 * mst wonders if docker's corporate disclosure statements include as a risk
15330 factor "loss of essential institutional knowledge due to accidentally
15331 forgetting to only ever buy edible crayons for the office"
15333 < perigrin> you gotta take that in the context of when mst does
15335 < perigrin> there isn't enough compiler to make scream for him
15338 < Obormot\Arcturus> Barefoot? Bah, that is for uncivilized savages
15339 < mst> -!- mst is now known as uncivilised_savage
15340 < mst> though of course I still had to correct the spelling - after all, I
15341 might be uncivilised but I wouldn't want to be mistaken for *American*
15343 < tirnanog> which is not what you have in the paste.
15345 * gloin goes off to rearrange the cargo crates on the beach so they
15346 somewhat more resemble an aircraft