Commit | Line | Data |
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1 | =head1 NAME |
2 | |
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3 | perlepigraphs - list of Perl release epigraphs |
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4 | |
5 | =head1 DESCRIPTION |
6 | |
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7 | Many Perl release announcements included an I<epigraph>, a short excerpt |
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8 | from a literary or other creative work, chosen by the pumpking or |
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9 | release manager. This file assembles the known list of epigraph for |
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10 | posterity. |
11 | |
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12 | I<Note>: these have also been referred to as <epigrams>, but the |
13 | definition of I<epigraph> is closer to the way they have been used. |
14 | Consult your favorite dictionary for details. |
15 | |
16 | =head1 EPIGRAPHS |
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17 | |
18 | =head2 v5.13.0 - Jules Verne, "A Journey to the Centre of the Earth" |
19 | |
20 | =over |
21 | |
22 | The heat still remained at quite a supportable degree. With an |
23 | involuntary shudder, I reflected on what the heat must have been |
24 | when the volcano of Sneffels was pouring its smoke, flames, and |
25 | streams of boiling lava -- all of which must have come up by the |
26 | road we were now following. I could imagine the torrents of hot |
27 | seething stone darting on, bubbling up with accompaniments of |
28 | smoke, steam, and sulphurous stench! |
29 | |
30 | "Only to think of the consequences," I mused, "if the old |
31 | volcano were once more to set to work." |
32 | |
33 | =back |
34 | |
35 | =head2 v5.12.1 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle" |
36 | |
37 | =over |
38 | |
39 | "Now suppose," chortled Dr. Breed, enjoying himself, "that there were |
40 | many possible ways in which water could crystallize, could freeze. |
41 | Suppose that the sort of ice we skate upon and put into highballs— |
42 | what we might call ice-one—is only one of several types of ice. |
43 | Suppose water always froze as ice-one on Earth because it had never |
44 | had a seed to teach it how to form ice-two, ice-three, ice-four |
45 | ...? And suppose," he rapped on his desk with his old hand again, |
46 | "that there were one form, which we will call ice-nine—a crystal as |
47 | hard as this desk—with a melting point of, let us say, one-hundred |
48 | degrees Fahrenheit, or, better still, a melting point of one-hundred- |
49 | and-thirty degrees." |
50 | |
51 | =back |
52 | |
53 | =head2 v5.12.1-RC2 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle" |
54 | |
55 | =over |
56 | |
57 | San Lorenzo was fifty miles long and twenty miles wide, I learned from |
58 | the supplement to the New York Sunday Times. Its population was four |
59 | hundred, fifty thousand souls, "...all fiercely dedicated to the ideals |
60 | of the Free World." |
61 | |
62 | Its highest point, Mount McCabe, was eleven thousand feet above sea |
63 | level. Its capital was Bolivar, "...a strikingly modern city built on a |
64 | harbor capable of sheltering the entire United States Navy." The principal |
65 | exports were sugar, coffee, bananas, indigo, and handcrafted novelties. |
66 | |
67 | =back |
68 | |
69 | =head2 v5.12.1-RC2 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle" |
70 | |
71 | =over |
72 | |
73 | Which brings me to the Bokononist concept of a wampeter. A wampeter is |
74 | the pivot of a karass. No karass is without a wampeter, Bokonon tells us, |
75 | just as no wheel is without a hub. Anything can be a wampeter: a tree, |
76 | a rock, an animal, an idea, a book, a melody, the Holy Grail. Whatever |
77 | it is, the members of its karass revolve about it in the majestic chaos |
78 | of a spiral nebula. The orbits of the members of a karass about their |
79 | common wampeter are spiritual orbits, naturally. It is souls and not |
80 | bodies that revolve. As Bokonon invites us to sing: |
81 | |
82 | Around and around and around we spin, |
83 | With feet of lead and wings of tin . . . |
84 | |
85 | =back |
86 | |
87 | =head2 v5.12.0 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" |
88 | |
89 | =over |
90 | |
91 | 'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for she was |
92 | not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, 'why |
93 | your cat grins like that?' |
94 | |
95 | 'It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, 'and that's why. Pig!' |
96 | |
97 | She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite |
98 | jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby, |
99 | and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:-- |
100 | |
101 | 'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know |
102 | that cats COULD grin.' |
103 | |
104 | 'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of 'em do.' |
105 | |
106 | =back |
107 | |
108 | =head2 v5.12.0-RC5 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" |
109 | |
110 | =over |
111 | |
112 | 'Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; 'some of the words |
113 | have got altered.' |
114 | |
115 | 'It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar decidedly, and |
116 | there was silence for some minutes. |
117 | |
118 | =back |
119 | |
120 | =head2 v5.12.0-RC4 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" |
121 | |
122 | =over |
123 | |
124 | 'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when one wasn't |
125 | always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and |
126 | rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole--and yet--and |
127 | yet--it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what |
128 | can have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that |
129 | kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! |
130 | |
131 | =back |
132 | |
133 | =head2 v5.12.0-RC3 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" |
134 | |
135 | =over |
136 | |
137 | At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them, |
138 | called out, 'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL soon make you |
139 | dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse |
140 | in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt |
141 | sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon. |
142 | |
143 | 'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, 'are you all ready? This |
144 | is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William |
145 | the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted |
146 | to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much |
147 | accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of |
148 | Mercia and Northumbria—"' |
149 | |
150 | =back |
151 | |
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152 | =head2 v5.12.0-RC2 - no epigraph |
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153 | |
154 | =head2 v5.12.0-RC1 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" |
155 | |
156 | =over |
157 | |
158 | So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the |
159 | hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of |
160 | making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and |
161 | picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran |
162 | close by her. |
163 | |
164 | There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so |
165 | VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, 'Oh dear! Oh |
166 | dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought it over afterwards, it |
167 | occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time |
168 | it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH |
169 | OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, |
170 | Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had |
171 | never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to |
172 | take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field |
173 | after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large |
174 | rabbit-hole under the hedge. |
175 | |
176 | In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how |
177 | in the world she was to get out again. |
178 | |
179 | =back |
180 | |
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181 | =head2 v5.12.0-RC0 - no epigraph |
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182 | |
183 | =head2 v5.11.5 - Samuel Taylor Coleridge, "Christabel" |
184 | |
185 | =over |
186 | |
187 | A little child, a limber elf, |
188 | Singing, dancing to itself, |
189 | A fairy thing with red round cheeks, |
190 | That always finds, and never seeks, |
191 | Makes such a vision to the sight |
192 | As fills a father's eyes with light; |
193 | And pleasures flow in so thick and fast |
194 | Upon his heart, that he at last |
195 | Must needs express his love's excess |
196 | With words of unmeant bitterness. |
197 | Perhaps 'tis pretty to force together |
198 | Thoughts so all unlike each other; |
199 | To mutter and mock a broken charm, |
200 | To dally with wrong that does no harm. |
201 | Perhaps 'tis tender too and pretty |
202 | At each wild word to feel within |
203 | A sweet recoil of love and pity. |
204 | And what, if in a world of sin |
205 | (O sorrow and shame should this be true!) |
206 | Such giddiness of heart and brain |
207 | Comes seldom save from rage and pain, |
208 | So talks as it's most used to do. |
209 | |
210 | =back |
211 | |
212 | =head2 v5.11.4 - Fyodor Dostoevsky, "Crime and Punishment" |
213 | |
214 | =over |
215 | |
216 | And you don't suppose that I went into it headlong like a fool? I went |
217 | into it like a wise man, and that was just my destruction. And you |
218 | mustn't suppose that I didn't know, for instance, that if I began to |
219 | question myself whether I had the right to gain power -- I certainly |
220 | hadn't the right -- or that if I asked myself whether a human being is a |
221 | louse it proved that it wasn't so for me, though it might be for a man |
222 | who would go straight to his goal without asking questions.... If I |
223 | worried myself all those days, wondering whether Napoleon would have |
224 | done it or not, I felt clearly of course that I wasn't Napoleon. |
225 | |
226 | =back |
227 | |
228 | =head2 v5.11.3 - Mark Twain, "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" |
229 | |
230 | =over |
231 | |
232 | "Say -- I'm going in a swimming, I am. Don't you wish you could? But of |
233 | course you'd druther work—wouldn't you? Course you would!" |
234 | |
235 | Tom contemplated the boy a bit, and said: "What do you call work?" |
236 | |
237 | "Why ain't that work?" |
238 | |
239 | Tom resumed his whitewashing, and answered carelessly: "Well, maybe it |
240 | is, and maybe it aint. All I know, is, it suits Tom Sawyer." |
241 | |
242 | "Oh come, now, you don't mean to let on that you like it?" |
243 | |
244 | The brush continued to move. "Like it? Well I don't see why I oughtn't |
245 | to like it. Does a boy get a chance to whitewash a fence every day?" |
246 | |
247 | That put the thing in a new light. Ben stopped nibbling his apple. Tom |
248 | swept his brush daintily back and forth -- stepped back to note the effect |
249 | -- added a touch here and there-criticised the effect again -- Ben |
250 | watching every move and getting more and more interested, more and more |
251 | absorbed. Presently he said: "Say, Tom, let me whitewash a little." |
252 | |
253 | =back |
254 | |
255 | |
256 | =head2 v5.11.2 - Michael Marshall Smith, "Only Forward" |
257 | |
258 | =over |
259 | |
260 | The streets were pretty quiet, which was nice. They're always quiet here |
261 | at that time: you have to be wearing a black jacket to be out on the |
262 | streets between seven and nine in the evening, and not many people in |
263 | the area have black jackets. It's just one of those things. I currently |
264 | live in Colour Neighbourhood, which is for people who are heavily into |
265 | colour. All the streets and buildings are set for instant colourmatch: |
266 | as you walk down the road they change hue to offset whatever you're |
267 | wearing. When the streets are busy it's kind of intense, and anyone |
268 | prone to epileptic seizures isn't allowed to live in the Neighbourhood, |
269 | however much they're into colour. |
270 | |
271 | =back |
272 | |
273 | =head2 v5.11.1 - Joseph Heller, "Catch-22" |
274 | |
275 | =over |
276 | |
277 | Milo had been caught red-handed in the act of plundering his countrymen, |
278 | and, as a result, his stock had never been higher. He proved good as his |
279 | word when a rawboned major from Minnesota curled his lip in rebellious |
280 | disavowal and demanded his share of the syndicate Milo kept saying |
281 | everybody owned. Milo met the challenge by writing the words "A Share" |
282 | on the nearest scrap of paper and handing it away with a virtuous disdain |
283 | that won the envy and admiration of almost everyone who knew him. His |
284 | glory was at a peak, and Colonel Cathcart, who knew and admired his |
285 | war record, was astonished by the deferential humility with which Mil |
286 | presented himself at Group Headquarters and made his fantastic appeal |
287 | for more hazardous assignment. |
288 | |
289 | =back |
290 | |
291 | =head2 v5.11.0 - Mikhail Bulgakov, "The Master and Margarita" |
292 | |
293 | =over |
294 | |
295 | Whispers of an "evil power" were heard in lines at dairy shops, in |
296 | streetcars, stores, arguments, kitchens, suburban and long-distance |
297 | trains, at stations large and small, in dachas and on beaches. Needless |
298 | to say, truly mature and cultured people did not tell these stories |
299 | about an evil power's visit to the capital. In fact, they even made fun |
300 | of them and tried to talk sense into those who told them. Nevertheless, |
301 | facts are facts, as they say, and cannot simply be dismissed without |
302 | explanation: somebody had visited the capital. The charred cinders of |
303 | Griboyedov alone, and many other things besides, confirmed it. Cultured |
304 | people shared the point of view of the investigating team: it was the |
305 | work of a gang of hypnotists and ventriloquists magnificently skilled in |
306 | their art. |
307 | |
308 | =back |
309 | |
310 | |
311 | =head2 v5.10.1 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister" |
312 | |
313 | =over |
314 | |
315 | 'Briefly, sir, I am the Permanent Under-Secretary of State, known as |
316 | the Permanent Secretary. Woolley here is your Principal Private |
317 | Secretary. I, too, have a Principal Private Secretary, and he is the |
318 | Principal Private Secretary to the Permanent Secretary. Directly |
319 | responsible to me are ten Deputy Secretaries, eighty-seven Under |
320 | Secretaries and two hundred and nineteen Assistant Secretaries. |
321 | Directly responsible to the Principal Private Secretaries are plain |
322 | Private Secretaries. The Prime Minister will be appointing two |
323 | Parliamentary Under-Secretaries and you will be appointing your own |
324 | Parliamentary Private Secretary.' |
325 | |
326 | 'Can they all type?' I joked. |
327 | |
328 | 'None of us can type, Minister,' replied Sir Humphrey smoothly. 'Mrs |
329 | McKay types - she is your Secretary.' |
330 | |
331 | I couldn't tell whether or not he was joking. 'What a pity,' I said. |
332 | 'We could have opened an agency.' |
333 | |
334 | Sir Humphrey and Bernard laughed. 'Very droll, sir,' said Sir |
335 | Humphrey. 'Most amusing, sir,' said Bernard. Were they genuinely |
336 | amused at my wit, or just being rather patronising? 'I suppose they |
337 | all say that, do they?' I ventured. |
338 | |
339 | Sir Humphrey reassured me on that. 'Certainly not, Minister,' he |
340 | replied. 'Not quite all.' |
341 | |
342 | =back |
343 | |
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344 | =head2 v5.10.1-RC2 - no epigraph |
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345 | |
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346 | =head2 v5.10.1-RC1 - no epigraph |
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347 | |
348 | =head2 v5.10.0 - Laurence Sterne, "Tristram Shandy" |
349 | |
350 | =over |
351 | |
352 | He would often declare, in speaking his thoughts upon the subject, that |
353 | he did not conceive how the greatest family in England could stand it |
354 | out against an uninterrupted succession of six or seven short |
355 | noses.--And for the contrary reason, he would generally add, That it |
356 | must be one of the greatest problems in civil life, where the same |
357 | number of long and jolly noses, following one another in a direct line, |
358 | did not raise and hoist it up into the best vacancies in the kingdom. |
359 | |
360 | =back |
361 | |
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362 | =head2 v5.10.0-RC2 - no epigraph |
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363 | |
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364 | =head2 v5.10.0-RC1 - no epigraph |
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365 | |
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366 | =head2 v5.9.5 - no epigraph |
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367 | |
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368 | =head2 v5.9.4 - no epigraph |
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369 | |
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370 | =head2 v5.9.3 - no epigraph |
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371 | |
372 | =head2 v5.9.2 - Thomas Pynchon, "V" |
373 | |
374 | =over |
375 | |
376 | This word flip was weird. Every recording date of McClintic's he'd |
377 | gotten into the habit of talking electricity with the audio men and |
378 | technicians of the studio. McClintic once couldn't have cared less |
379 | about electricity, but now it seemed if that was helping him reach a |
380 | bigger audience, some digging, some who would never dig, but all |
381 | paying and those royalties keeping the Triumph in gas and McClintic |
382 | in J. Press suits, then McClintic ought to be grateful to |
383 | electricity, ought maybe to learn a little more about it. So he'd |
384 | picked up some here and there, and one day last summer he got around |
385 | to talking stochastic music and digital computers with one |
386 | technician. Out of the conversation had come Set/Reset, which was |
387 | getting to be a signature for the group. He had found out from this |
388 | sound man about a two-triode circuit called a flip-flop, which when |
389 | it turned on could be one of two ways, depending on which tube was |
390 | conducting and which was cut off: set or reset, flip or flop. |
391 | |
392 | "And that," the man said, "can be yes or no, or one or zero. And |
393 | that is what you might call one of the basic units, or specialized |
394 | `cells' in a big `electronic brain.' " |
395 | |
396 | "Crazy," said McClintic, having lost him back there someplace. But |
397 | one thing that did occur to him was if a computer's brain could go |
398 | flip or flop, why so could a musician's. As long as you were flop, |
399 | everything was cool. But where did the trigger-pulse come from to |
400 | make you flip? |
401 | |
402 | =back |
403 | |
404 | =head2 v5.9.1 - Tom Stoppard, "Arcadia" |
405 | |
406 | =over |
407 | |
408 | Aren't you supposed to have a pony? |
409 | |
410 | =back |
411 | |
412 | =head2 v5.9.0 - Doris Lessing, "Martha Quest" |
413 | |
414 | =over |
415 | |
416 | What of October, that ambiguous month |
417 | |
418 | =back |
419 | |
420 | =head2 v5.8.9 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister" |
421 | |
422 | =over |
423 | |
424 | Frank and I, unlike the civil servants, were still puzzled that such a |
425 | proposal as the Europass could even be seriously under consideration by |
426 | the FCO. We can both see clearly that it is wonderful ammunition for the |
427 | anti-Europeans. I asked Humphrey if the Foreign Office doesn't realise |
428 | how damaging this would be to the European ideal? |
429 | |
430 | 'I'm sure they do, Minister, he said. That's why they support it.' |
431 | |
432 | This was even more puzzling, since I'd always been under the impression |
433 | that the FO is pro-Europe. 'Is it or isn't it?' I asked Humphrey. |
434 | |
435 | 'Yes and no,' he replied of course, 'if you'll pardon the |
436 | expression. The Foreign Office is pro-Europe because it is really |
437 | anti-Europe. In fact the Civil Service was united in its desire to make |
438 | sure the Common Market didn't work. That's why we went into it.' |
439 | |
440 | This sounded like a riddle to me. I asked him to explain further. And |
441 | basically his argument was as follows: Britain has had the same foreign |
442 | policy objective for at least the last five hundred years - to create a |
443 | disunited Europe. In that cause we have fought with the Dutch against |
444 | the Spanish, with the Germans against the French, with the French and |
445 | Italians against the Germans, and with the French against the Italians |
446 | and Germans. [The Dutch rebellion against Phillip II of Spain, the |
447 | Napoleonic Wars, the First World War, and the Second World War - Ed.] |
448 | |
449 | In other words, divide and rule. And the Foreign Office can see no |
450 | reason to change when it has worked so well until now. |
451 | |
452 | I was aware of this, naturally, but I regarded it as ancient history. |
453 | Humphrey thinks that it is, in fact, current policy. It was necessary |
454 | for us to break up the EEC, he explained, so we had to get inside. We |
455 | had previously tried to break it up from the outside, but that didn't |
456 | work. [A reference to our futile and short-lived involvement in EFTA, |
457 | the European Free Trade Association, founded in 1960 and which the UK |
458 | left in 1972 - Ed.] Now that we're in, we are able to make a complete |
459 | pig's breakfast out of it. We've now set the Germans against the French, |
460 | the French against the Italians, the Italians against the Dutch... and |
461 | the Foreign office is terribly happy. It's just like old time. |
462 | |
463 | I was staggered by all of this. I thought that the all of us who are |
464 | publicly pro-European believed in the European ideal. I said this to Sir |
465 | Humphrey, and he simply chuckled. |
466 | |
467 | So I asked him: if we don't believe in the European Ideal, why are we |
468 | pushing to increase the membership? |
469 | |
470 | 'Same reason,' came the reply. 'It's just like the United Nations. The |
471 | more members it has, the more arguments you can stir up, and the more |
472 | futile and impotent it becomes.' |
473 | |
474 | This all strikes me as the most appalling cynicism, and I said so. |
475 | |
476 | Sir Humphrey agreed completely. 'Yes Minister. We call it |
477 | diplomacy. It's what made Britain great, you know.' |
478 | |
479 | =back |
480 | |
481 | =head2 v5.8.9-RC2 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister" |
482 | |
483 | =over |
484 | |
485 | There was silence in the office. I didn't know what we were going to do |
486 | about the four hundred new people supervising our economy drive or the |
487 | four hundred new people for the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office, or |
488 | anything! I simply sat and waited and hoped that my head would stop |
489 | thumping and that some idea would be suggested by someone sometime soon. |
490 | |
491 | Sir Humphrey obliged. 'Minister... if we were to end the economy drive |
492 | and close the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office we could issue an immediate |
493 | press announcement that you had axed eight hundred jobs.' He had |
494 | obviously thought this out carefully in advance, for at this moment he |
495 | produced a slim folder from under his arm. 'If you'd like to approve |
496 | this draft...' |
497 | |
498 | I couldn't believe the impertinence of the suggestion. Axed eight |
499 | hundred jobs? 'But no one was ever doing these jobs,' I pointed out |
500 | incredulously. 'No one's been appointed yet.' |
501 | |
502 | 'Even greater economy,' he replied instantly. 'We've saved eight hundred |
503 | redundancy payments as well.' |
504 | |
505 | 'But...' I attempted to explain '... that's just phony. It's dishonest, |
506 | it's juggling with figures, it's pulling the wool over people's eyes.' |
507 | |
508 | 'A government press release, in fact.' said Humphrey. |
509 | |
510 | =back |
511 | |
512 | =head2 v5.8.9-RC1 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister" |
513 | |
514 | =over |
515 | |
516 | A jumbo jet touched down, with BURANDAN AIRWAYS written on the side. I |
517 | was hugely impressed. British Airways are having to pawn their Concordes, |
518 | and here is this little tiny African state with its own airline, jumbo |
519 | jets and all. |
520 | |
521 | I asked Bernard how many planes Burandan Airways had. 'None,' he said. |
522 | |
523 | I told him not to be silly and use his eyes. 'No Minister, it belongs to |
524 | Freddie Laker,' he said. 'They chartered it last week and repainted it |
525 | specially.' Apparently most of the Have-Nots (I mean, LDCs) do this - at |
526 | the opening of the UN General Assembly the runways of Kennedy Airport are |
527 | jam-packed with phoney flag-carriers. 'In fact,' said Bernard with a sly |
528 | grin, 'there was one 747 that belonged to nine different African airlines |
529 | in a month. They called it the mumbo-jumbo.' |
530 | |
531 | While we watched nothing much happening on the TV except the mumbo-jumbo |
532 | taxiing around Prestwick and the Queen looking a bit chilly, Bernard gave |
533 | me the next day's schedule and explained that I was booked on the night |
534 | sleeper from King's Cross to Edinburgh because I had to vote in a |
535 | three-line whip at the House tonight and would have to miss the last |
536 | plane. Then the commentator, in that special hushed BBC voice used for any |
537 | occasion with which Royalty is connected, announced reverentially that we |
538 | were about to catch our first glimpse of President Selim. |
539 | |
540 | And out of the plane stepped Charlie. My old friend Charlie Umtali. We |
541 | were at LSE together. Not Selim Mohammed at all, but Charlie. |
542 | |
543 | Bernard asked me if I were sure. Silly question. How could you forget a |
544 | name like Charlie Umtali? |
545 | |
546 | I sent Bernard for Sir Humphrey, who was delighted to hear that we now |
547 | know something about our official visitor. |
548 | |
549 | Bernard's official brief said nothing. Amazing! Amazing how little the FCO |
550 | has been able to find out. Perhaps they were hoping it would all be on the |
551 | car radio. All the brief says is that Colonel Selim Mohammed had converted |
552 | to Islam some years ago, they didn't know his original name, and therefore |
553 | knew little of his background. |
554 | |
555 | I was able to tell Humphrey and Bernard /all/ about his background. |
556 | Charlie was a red-hot political economist, I informed them. Got the top |
557 | first. Wiped the floor with everyone. |
558 | |
559 | Bernard seemed relieved. 'Well that's all right then.' |
560 | |
561 | 'Why?' I enquired. |
562 | |
563 | 'I think Bernard means,' said Sir Humphrey helpfully, 'that he'll know how |
564 | to behave if he was at an English University. Even if it was the LSE.' I |
565 | never know whether or not Humphrey is insulting me intentionally. |
566 | |
567 | Humphrey was concerned about Charlie's political colour. 'When you said |
568 | that he was red-hot, were you speaking politically?' |
569 | |
570 | In a way I was. 'The thing about Charlie is that you never quite know |
571 | where you are with him. He's the sort of chap who follows you into a |
572 | revolving door and comes out in front.' |
573 | |
574 | 'No deeply held convictions?' asked Sir Humphrey. |
575 | |
576 | 'No. The only thing Charlie was committed too was Charlie.' |
577 | |
578 | 'Ah, I see. A politician, Minister.' |
579 | |
580 | =back |
581 | |
582 | =head2 v5.8.8 - Joe Raposo, "Bein' Green" |
583 | |
584 | =over |
585 | |
586 | It's not that easy bein' green |
587 | Having to spend each day the color of the leaves |
588 | When I think it could be nicer being red or yellow or gold |
589 | Or something much more colorful like that |
590 | |
591 | It's not easy bein' green |
592 | It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things |
593 | And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're |
594 | Not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water |
595 | Or stars in the sky |
596 | |
597 | But green's the color of Spring |
598 | And green can be cool and friendly-like |
599 | And green can be big like an ocean |
600 | Or important like a mountain |
601 | Or tall like a tree |
602 | |
603 | When green is all there is to be |
604 | It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why? |
605 | Wonder I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful |
606 | And I think it's what I want to be |
607 | |
608 | =back |
609 | |
610 | =head2 v5.8.8-RC1 - Cosgrove Hall Productions, "Dangermouse" |
611 | |
612 | =over |
613 | |
614 | Greenback: And the world is mine, all mine. Muhahahahaha. See to it! |
615 | |
616 | Stiletto: Si, Barone. Subito, Barone. |
617 | |
618 | =back |
619 | |
620 | =head2 v5.8.7 - Sergei Prokofiev, "Peter and the Wolf" |
621 | |
622 | =over |
623 | |
624 | And now, imagine the triumphant procession: Peter at the head; after him the |
625 | hunters leading the wolf; and winding up the procession, grandfather and the |
626 | cat. |
627 | |
628 | Grandfather shook his head discontentedly: "Well, and if Peter hadn't caught |
629 | the wolf? What then?" |
630 | |
631 | =back |
632 | |
633 | =head2 v5.8.7-RC1 - Sergei Prokofiev, "Peter and the Wolf" |
634 | |
635 | =over |
636 | |
637 | And now this is how things stood: The cat was sitting on one branch. The |
638 | bird on another, not too close to the cat. And the wolf walked round and |
639 | round the tree, looking at them with greedy eyes. |
640 | |
641 | In the meantime, Peter, without the slightest fear, stood behind the |
642 | gate, watching all that was going on. He ran home,got a strong rope and |
643 | climbed up the high stone wall. |
644 | |
645 | One of the branches of the tree, around which the wolf was walking, |
646 | stretched out over the wall. |
647 | |
648 | Grabbing hold of the branch, Peter lightly climbed over on to the tree. |
649 | Peter said to the bird: "Fly down and circle round the wolf's head, only |
650 | take care that he doesn't catch you!". |
651 | |
652 | The bird almost touched the wolf's head with its wings, while the wolf |
653 | snapped angrily at him from this side and that. |
654 | |
655 | How that bird teased the wolf, how that wolf wanted to catch him! But |
656 | the bird was clever and the wolf simply couldn't do anything about it. |
657 | |
658 | =back |
659 | |
660 | =head2 v5.8.6 - A. A. Milne, "The House at Pooh Corner" |
661 | |
662 | =over |
663 | |
664 | "Hallo, Pooh," said Piglet, giving a jump of surprise. "I knew it was |
665 | you." |
666 | |
667 | "So did I,", said Pooh. "What are you doing?" |
668 | |
669 | "I'm planting a haycorn, Pooh, so that it can grow up into an oak-tree, |
670 | and have lots of haycorns just outside the front door instead of having |
671 | to walk miles and miles, do you see, Pooh?" |
672 | |
673 | "Supposing it doesn't?" said Pooh. |
674 | |
675 | "It will, because Christopher Robin says it will, so that's why I'm |
676 | planting it." |
677 | |
678 | "Well," aid Pooh, "if I plant a honeycomb outside my house, then it will |
679 | grow up into a beehive." |
680 | |
681 | Piglet wasn't quite sure about this. |
682 | |
683 | "Or a /piece/ of a honeycomb," said Pooh, "so as not to waste too much. |
684 | Only then I might only get a piece of a beehive, and it might be the |
685 | wrong piece, where the bees were buzzing and not hunnying. Bother" |
686 | |
687 | Piglet agreed that that would be rather bothering. |
688 | |
689 | "Besides, Pooh, it's a very difficult thing, planting unless you know |
690 | how to do it," he said; and he put the acorn in the hole he had made, |
691 | and covered it up with earth, and jumped on it. |
692 | |
693 | =back |
694 | |
695 | =head2 v5.8.6-RC1 - A. A. Milne, "Winnie the Pooh" |
696 | |
697 | =over |
698 | |
699 | "Hallo!" said Piglet, "whare are /you/ doing?" |
700 | |
701 | "Hunting," said Pooh. |
702 | |
703 | "Hunting what?" |
704 | |
705 | "Tracking something," said Winnie-the-Pooh very mysteriously. |
706 | |
707 | "Tracking what?" said Piglet, coming closer. |
708 | |
709 | "That's just what I ask myself, I ask myself, What?" |
710 | |
711 | "What do you think you'll answer?" |
712 | |
713 | "I shall have to wait until I catch up with it," said Winnie-the-Pooh. |
714 | "Now, look there." He pointed to the ground in front of him. "What do |
715 | you see there?" |
716 | |
717 | "Track," said Piglet. "Paw-marks." He gave a little squeak of |
718 | excitement. "Oh, Pooh!" Do you think it's a--a--a Woozle?" |
719 | |
720 | =back |
721 | |
722 | =head2 v5.8.5 - wikipedia, "Yew" |
723 | |
724 | =over |
725 | |
726 | Yews are relatively slow growing trees, widely used in landscaping and |
727 | ornamental horticulture. They have flat, dark-green needles, reddish |
728 | bark, and bear seeds with red arils, which are eaten by thrushes, |
729 | waxwings and other birds, dispersing the hard seeds undamaged in their |
730 | droppings. Yew wood is reddish brown (with white sapwood), and very |
731 | hard. It was traditionally used to make bows, especially the English |
732 | longbow. |
733 | |
734 | In England, the Common Yew (Taxus baccata, also known as English Yew) is |
735 | often found in churchyards. It is sometimes suggested that these are |
736 | placed there as a symbol of long life or trees of death, and some are |
737 | likely to be over 3,000 years old. It is also suggested that yew trees |
738 | may have a pre-Christian association with old pagan holy sites, and the |
739 | Christian church found it expedient to use and take over existing sites. |
740 | Another explanation is that the poisonous berries and foliage discourage |
741 | farmers and drovers from letting their animals wander into the burial |
742 | grounds. The yew tree is a frequent symbol in the Christian poetry of |
743 | T.S. Eliot, especially his Four Quartets. |
744 | |
745 | =back |
746 | |
747 | =head2 v5.8.5-RC2 - wikipedia, "Beech" |
748 | |
749 | =over |
750 | |
751 | Beeches are trees of the Genus Fagus, family Fagaceae, including about |
752 | ten species in Europe, Asia, and North America. The leaves are entire or |
753 | sparsely toothed. The fruit is a small, sharply-angled nut, borne in |
754 | pairs in spiny husks. The beech most commonly grown as an ornamental or |
755 | shade tree is the European beech (Fagus sylvatica). |
756 | |
757 | The southern beeches belong to a different but related genus, |
758 | Nothofagus. They are found in Australia, New Zealand, New Guinea, New |
759 | Caledonia and South America. |
760 | |
761 | =back |
762 | |
763 | =head2 v5.8.5-RC1 - wikipedia, "Pedunculate Oak" (abridged) |
764 | |
765 | =over |
766 | |
767 | The Pedunculate Oak is called the Common Oak in Britain, and is also |
768 | often called the English Oak in other English speaking countries It is a |
769 | large deciduous tree to 25-35m tall (exceptionally to 40m), with lobed |
770 | and sessile (stalk-less) leaves. Flowering takes place in early to mid |
771 | spring, and their fruit, called "acorns", ripen by autumn of the same |
772 | year. The acorns are pedunculate (having a peduncle or acorn-stalk) and |
773 | may occur singly, or several acorns may occur on a stalk. |
774 | |
775 | It forms a long-lived tree, with a large widespreading head of rugged |
776 | branches. While it may naturally live to an age of a few centuries, many |
777 | of the oldest trees are pollarded or coppiced, both pruning techniques |
778 | that extend the tree's potential lifespan, if not its health. |
779 | |
780 | Within its native range it is valued for its importance to insects and |
781 | other wildlife. Numerous insects live on the leaves, buds, and in the |
782 | acorns. The acorns form a valuable food resource for several small |
783 | mammals and some birds, notably Jays Garrulus glandarius. |
784 | |
785 | It is planted for forestry, and produces a long-lasting and durable |
786 | heartwood, much in demand for interior and furniture work. |
787 | |
788 | =back |
789 | |
790 | =head2 v5.8.4 - T. S. Eliot, "The Old Gumbie Cat" |
791 | |
792 | =over |
793 | |
794 | I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots; |
795 | The curtain-cord she likes to wind, and tie it into sailor-knots. |
796 | She sits upon the window-sill, or anything that's smooth and flat: |
797 | She sits and sits and sits and sits -- and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat! |
798 | |
799 | But when the day's hustle and bustle is done, |
800 | Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun. |
801 | She thinks that the cockroaches just need employment |
802 | To prevent them from idle and wanton destroyment. |
803 | So she's formed, from that a lot of disorderly louts, |
804 | A troop of well-disciplined helpful boy-scouts, |
805 | With a purpose in life and a good deed to do-- |
806 | And she's even created a Beetles' Tattoo. |
807 | |
808 | |
809 | So for Old Gumbie Cats let us now give three cheers -- |
810 | On whom well-ordered households depend, it appears. |
811 | |
812 | =back |
813 | |
814 | |
815 | =head2 v5.8.4-RC2 - T. S. Eliot, "Macavity: The Mystery Cat" |
816 | |
817 | =over |
818 | |
819 | Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Hidden Paw -- |
820 | For he's the master criminal who can defy the Law. |
821 | He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair: |
822 | For when they reach the scene of crime -- /Macavity's not there/! |
823 | |
824 | Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity, |
825 | He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity. |
826 | His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare, |
827 | And when you reach the scene of crime -- /Macavity's not there/! |
828 | You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air -- |
829 | But I tell you once and once again, /Macavity's not there/! |
830 | |
831 | =back |
832 | |
833 | =head2 v5.8.4-RC1 - T. S. Eliot, "Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat" |
834 | |
835 | =over |
836 | |
837 | There's a whisper down the line at 11.39 |
838 | When the Night Mail's ready to depart, |
839 | Saying 'Skimble where is Skimble has he gone to hunt the thimble? |
840 | We must find him of the train can't start.' |
841 | All the guards and all the porters and the stationmaster's daughters |
842 | They are searching high and low, |
843 | Saying 'Skimble where is Skimble for unless he's very nimble |
844 | Then the Night Mail just can't go' |
845 | At 11.42 then the signal's overdue |
846 | And the passengers are frantic to a man-- |
847 | Then Skimble will appear and he'll saunter to the rear: |
848 | He's been busy in the luggage van! |
849 | He gives one flash of his glass-green eyes |
850 | And the the signal goes 'All Clear!' |
851 | And we're off at last of the northern part |
852 | Of the Northern Hemisphere! |
853 | |
854 | =back |
855 | |
856 | =head2 v5.8.3 - Arthur William Edgar O'Shaugnessy, "Ode" |
857 | |
858 | =over |
859 | |
860 | We are the music makers, |
861 | And we are the dreamers of dreams, |
862 | Wandering by lonely sea-breakers, |
863 | And sitting by desolate streams; -- |
864 | World-losers and world-forsakers, |
865 | On whom the pale moon gleams: |
866 | Yet we are the movers and shakers |
867 | Of the world for ever, it seems. |
868 | |
869 | =back |
870 | |
871 | =head2 v5.8.3-RC1 - Irving Berlin, "Let's Face the Music and Dance" |
872 | |
873 | =over |
874 | |
875 | There may be trouble ahead, |
876 | But while there's music and moonlight, |
877 | And love and romance, |
878 | Let's face the music and dance. |
879 | |
880 | Before the fiddlers have fled, |
881 | Before they ask us to pay the bill, |
882 | And while we still have that chance, |
883 | Let's face the music and dance. |
884 | |
885 | Soon, we'll be without the moon, |
886 | Humming a different tune, and then, |
887 | |
888 | There may be teardrops to shed, |
889 | So while there's music and moonlight, |
890 | And love and romance, |
891 | Let's face the music and dance. |
892 | |
893 | =back |
894 | |
895 | =head2 v5.8.2 - Walt Whitman, "Passage to India" |
896 | |
897 | =over |
898 | |
899 | Passage, immediate passage! the blood burns in my veins! |
900 | Away O soul! hoist instantly the anchor! |
901 | Cut the hawsers - hall out - shake out every sail! |
902 | Have we not stood here like trees in the ground long enough? |
903 | Have we not grovel'd here long enough, eating and drinking like mere brutes? |
904 | Have we not darken'd and dazed ourselves with books long enough? |
905 | |
906 | |
907 | Sail forth - steer for the deep waters only, |
908 | Reckless O soul, exploring, I with the and thou with me, |
909 | For we are bound where mariner has not yet dared to go, |
910 | And we will risk the ship, ourselves and all. |
911 | |
912 | O my brave soul! |
913 | O farther farther sail! |
914 | O daring job, but safe! are they not all the seas of God? |
915 | O farther, farther, farther sail! |
916 | |
917 | =back |
918 | |
919 | =head2 v5.8.2-RC2 - Eric Idle/John Du Prez, "Accountancy Shanty" |
920 | |
921 | =over |
922 | |
923 | It's fun to charter an accountant |
924 | And sail the wide accountan-cy, |
925 | To find, explore the funds offshore |
926 | And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy. |
927 | |
928 | =back |
929 | |
930 | =head2 v5.8.2-RC1 - Edward Lear, "The Jumblies" |
931 | |
932 | =over |
933 | |
934 | They went to sea in a Sieve, they did, |
935 | In a Sieve they went to sea: |
936 | In spite of all their friends could say, |
937 | On a winter's morn, on a stormy day, |
938 | In a Sieve they went to sea! |
939 | And when the Sieve turned round and round, |
940 | And everyone cried, "You'll all be drowned!" |
941 | They cried aloud, "Our Sieve ain't big, |
942 | But we don't care a button, we don't care a fig! |
943 | In a Sieve we'll go to sea!" |
944 | |
945 | Far and few, far and few, |
946 | Are the lands where the Jumblies live; |
947 | Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, |
948 | And they went to sea in a Sieve. |
949 | |
950 | =back |
951 | |
952 | =head2 v5.8.1 - Terry Pratchett, "The Color of Magic" |
953 | |
954 | =over |
955 | |
956 | "What happens next?" asked Twoflower. |
957 | |
958 | Hrun screwed a finger in his ear and inspected it absently. |
959 | |
960 | "Oh,", he said, "I expect in a minute the door will be |
961 | flung back and I'll be dragged off to some sort of temple |
962 | arena where I'll fight maybe a couple of giant spiders |
963 | and an eight-foot slave from the jungles of Klatch and then |
964 | I'll rescue some kind of a princess from the altar and then |
965 | I'll kill off a few guards or whatever and then this girl |
966 | will show me the secret passage out of the place and we'll |
967 | liberate a couple of horses and escape with the treasure." |
968 | Hrun leaned his head back on his hands and looked at the |
969 | ceiling, whistling tunelessly. |
970 | |
971 | "All that?" said Twoflower. |
972 | |
973 | "Usually." |
974 | |
975 | =back |
976 | |
977 | =head2 v5.8.1-RC5 - Terry Pratchett, "Lords and Ladies" |
978 | |
979 | =over |
980 | |
981 | No matter what she did with her hair it took about |
982 | three minutes for it to tangle itself up again, |
983 | like a garden hosepipe in a shed [Footnote: Which, |
984 | no matter how carefully coiled, will always uncoil |
985 | overnight and tie the lawnmower to the bicycles]. |
986 | |
987 | =back |
988 | |
989 | =head2 v5.6.2 - Sterne, "Tristram Shandy" |
990 | |
991 | =over |
992 | |
993 | When great or unexpected events fall out upon the stage of this |
994 | sublunary word--the mind of man, which is an inquisitive kind of |
995 | a substance, naturally takes a flight, behind the scenes, to see |
996 | what is the cause and first spring of them--The search was not |
997 | long in this instance. |
998 | |
999 | =back |
1000 | |
1001 | =head2 v5.6.2-RC1 - Sterne, "Tristram Shandy" |
1002 | |
1003 | =over |
1004 | |
1005 | "Pray, my dear", quoth my mother, "have you not forgot to wind up the clock?" |
1006 | |
1007 | =back |
1008 | |
0e6b8110 |
1009 | =head2 5.005_05-RC1 - no epigraph |
4363636d |
1010 | |
0e6b8110 |
1011 | =head2 5.005_04 - no epigraph |
4363636d |
1012 | |
1013 | =head2 5.005_04-RC2 - Rudyard Kipling, "The Jungle Book" |
1014 | |
1015 | =over |
1016 | |
1017 | The monkeys called the place their city, and pretended to despise |
1018 | the Jungle-People because they lived in the forest. And yet they |
1019 | never knew what the buildings were made for nor how to use |
1020 | them. They would sit in circles on the hall of the king's council |
1021 | chamber, and scratch for fleas and pretend to be men; or they would |
1022 | run in and out of the roofless houses and collect pieces of plaster |
1023 | and old bricks in a corner, and forget where they had hidden them, |
1024 | and fight and cry in scuffling crowds, and then break off to play up |
1025 | and down the terraces of the king's garden, where they would shake |
1026 | the rose trees and the oranges in sport to see the fruit and flowers |
1027 | fall. |
1028 | |
1029 | =back |
1030 | |
1031 | =head2 5.005_04-RC1 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" |
1032 | |
1033 | =over |
1034 | |
1035 | Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had |
1036 | plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was |
1037 | going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and make out what |
1038 | she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then she looked |
1039 | at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with |
1040 | cupboards and book-shelves; here and there she saw maps and pictures |
1041 | hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the shelves as she |
1042 | passed; it was labelled 'ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great |
1043 | disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear |
1044 | of killing somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as |
1045 | she fell past it. |
1046 | |
1047 | =back |
1048 | |
1049 | =head1 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS |
1050 | |
0e6b8110 |
1051 | This document was originally compiled based on a list of epigraphs |
4363636d |
1052 | on L<Perl Monks|http://perlmonks.org> titled |
1053 | L<Recent Perl Release Announcement|http://perlmonks.org/?node_id=372406> |
1054 | by ysth. |
1055 | |
1056 | =cut |
1057 | # vim:tw=72: |