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1 | =head1 NAME |
2 | |
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3 | perlepigraphs - list of Perl release epigraphs |
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4 | |
5 | =head1 DESCRIPTION |
6 | |
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7 | Many Perl release announcements included an I<epigraph>, a short excerpt |
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8 | from a literary or other creative work, chosen by the pumpking or |
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9 | release manager. This file assembles the known list of epigraph for |
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10 | posterity. |
11 | |
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12 | I<Note>: these have also been referred to as <epigrams>, but the |
13 | definition of I<epigraph> is closer to the way they have been used. |
14 | Consult your favorite dictionary for details. |
15 | |
16 | =head1 EPIGRAPHS |
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17 | |
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18 | =head2 v5.13.1 - Miguel de Unamuno, "The Sepulchre of Don Quixote" |
19 | |
20 | And if anyone shall come to you and say that he knows how to construct |
21 | bridges and that perhaps a time will come when you will wish to avail |
22 | yourself of his science in order to cross over a river, out with him! Out |
23 | with the engineer! Rivers will be crossed by wading or swimming them, even |
24 | if half the crusaders drown themselves. Let the engineer go off and build |
25 | bridges somewhere else, where they are badly wanted. For those who go in |
26 | quest of the sepulchre, faith is bridge enough. |
27 | |
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28 | =head2 v5.13.0 - Jules Verne, "A Journey to the Centre of the Earth" |
29 | |
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30 | The heat still remained at quite a supportable degree. With an |
31 | involuntary shudder, I reflected on what the heat must have been |
32 | when the volcano of Sneffels was pouring its smoke, flames, and |
33 | streams of boiling lava -- all of which must have come up by the |
34 | road we were now following. I could imagine the torrents of hot |
35 | seething stone darting on, bubbling up with accompaniments of |
36 | smoke, steam, and sulphurous stench! |
37 | |
38 | "Only to think of the consequences," I mused, "if the old |
39 | volcano were once more to set to work." |
40 | |
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41 | =head2 v5.12.1 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle" |
42 | |
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43 | "Now suppose," chortled Dr. Breed, enjoying himself, "that there were |
44 | many possible ways in which water could crystallize, could freeze. |
45 | Suppose that the sort of ice we skate upon and put into highballs— |
46 | what we might call ice-one—is only one of several types of ice. |
47 | Suppose water always froze as ice-one on Earth because it had never |
48 | had a seed to teach it how to form ice-two, ice-three, ice-four |
49 | ...? And suppose," he rapped on his desk with his old hand again, |
50 | "that there were one form, which we will call ice-nine—a crystal as |
51 | hard as this desk—with a melting point of, let us say, one-hundred |
52 | degrees Fahrenheit, or, better still, a melting point of one-hundred- |
53 | and-thirty degrees." |
54 | |
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55 | =head2 v5.12.1-RC2 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle" |
56 | |
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57 | San Lorenzo was fifty miles long and twenty miles wide, I learned from |
58 | the supplement to the New York Sunday Times. Its population was four |
59 | hundred, fifty thousand souls, "...all fiercely dedicated to the ideals |
60 | of the Free World." |
61 | |
62 | Its highest point, Mount McCabe, was eleven thousand feet above sea |
63 | level. Its capital was Bolivar, "...a strikingly modern city built on a |
64 | harbor capable of sheltering the entire United States Navy." The principal |
65 | exports were sugar, coffee, bananas, indigo, and handcrafted novelties. |
66 | |
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67 | =head2 v5.12.1-RC2 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle" |
68 | |
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69 | Which brings me to the Bokononist concept of a wampeter. A wampeter is |
70 | the pivot of a karass. No karass is without a wampeter, Bokonon tells us, |
71 | just as no wheel is without a hub. Anything can be a wampeter: a tree, |
72 | a rock, an animal, an idea, a book, a melody, the Holy Grail. Whatever |
73 | it is, the members of its karass revolve about it in the majestic chaos |
74 | of a spiral nebula. The orbits of the members of a karass about their |
75 | common wampeter are spiritual orbits, naturally. It is souls and not |
76 | bodies that revolve. As Bokonon invites us to sing: |
77 | |
78 | Around and around and around we spin, |
79 | With feet of lead and wings of tin . . . |
80 | |
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81 | =head2 v5.12.0 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" |
82 | |
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83 | 'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for she was |
84 | not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, 'why |
85 | your cat grins like that?' |
86 | |
87 | 'It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, 'and that's why. Pig!' |
88 | |
89 | She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite |
90 | jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby, |
91 | and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:-- |
92 | |
93 | 'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know |
94 | that cats COULD grin.' |
95 | |
96 | 'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of 'em do.' |
97 | |
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98 | =head2 v5.12.0-RC5 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" |
99 | |
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100 | 'Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; 'some of the words |
101 | have got altered.' |
102 | |
103 | 'It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar decidedly, and |
104 | there was silence for some minutes. |
105 | |
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106 | =head2 v5.12.0-RC4 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" |
107 | |
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108 | 'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when one wasn't |
109 | always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and |
110 | rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole--and yet--and |
111 | yet--it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what |
112 | can have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that |
113 | kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! |
114 | |
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115 | =head2 v5.12.0-RC3 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" |
116 | |
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117 | At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them, |
118 | called out, 'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL soon make you |
119 | dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse |
120 | in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt |
121 | sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon. |
122 | |
123 | 'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, 'are you all ready? This |
124 | is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William |
125 | the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted |
126 | to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much |
127 | accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of |
128 | Mercia and Northumbria—"' |
129 | |
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130 | =head2 v5.12.0-RC2 - no epigraph |
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131 | |
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132 | Z<> |
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133 | |
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134 | =head2 v5.12.0-RC1 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" |
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135 | |
136 | So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the |
137 | hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of |
138 | making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and |
139 | picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran |
140 | close by her. |
141 | |
142 | There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so |
143 | VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, 'Oh dear! Oh |
144 | dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought it over afterwards, it |
145 | occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time |
146 | it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH |
147 | OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, |
148 | Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had |
149 | never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to |
150 | take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field |
151 | after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large |
152 | rabbit-hole under the hedge. |
153 | |
154 | In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how |
155 | in the world she was to get out again. |
156 | |
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157 | =head2 v5.12.0-RC0 - no epigraph |
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158 | |
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159 | Z<> |
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160 | |
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161 | =head2 v5.11.5 - Samuel Taylor Coleridge, "Christabel" |
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162 | |
163 | A little child, a limber elf, |
164 | Singing, dancing to itself, |
165 | A fairy thing with red round cheeks, |
166 | That always finds, and never seeks, |
167 | Makes such a vision to the sight |
168 | As fills a father's eyes with light; |
169 | And pleasures flow in so thick and fast |
170 | Upon his heart, that he at last |
171 | Must needs express his love's excess |
172 | With words of unmeant bitterness. |
173 | Perhaps 'tis pretty to force together |
174 | Thoughts so all unlike each other; |
175 | To mutter and mock a broken charm, |
176 | To dally with wrong that does no harm. |
177 | Perhaps 'tis tender too and pretty |
178 | At each wild word to feel within |
179 | A sweet recoil of love and pity. |
180 | And what, if in a world of sin |
181 | (O sorrow and shame should this be true!) |
182 | Such giddiness of heart and brain |
183 | Comes seldom save from rage and pain, |
184 | So talks as it's most used to do. |
185 | |
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186 | =head2 v5.11.4 - Fyodor Dostoevsky, "Crime and Punishment" |
187 | |
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188 | And you don't suppose that I went into it headlong like a fool? I went |
189 | into it like a wise man, and that was just my destruction. And you |
190 | mustn't suppose that I didn't know, for instance, that if I began to |
191 | question myself whether I had the right to gain power -- I certainly |
192 | hadn't the right -- or that if I asked myself whether a human being is a |
193 | louse it proved that it wasn't so for me, though it might be for a man |
194 | who would go straight to his goal without asking questions.... If I |
195 | worried myself all those days, wondering whether Napoleon would have |
196 | done it or not, I felt clearly of course that I wasn't Napoleon. |
197 | |
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198 | =head2 v5.11.3 - Mark Twain, "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" |
199 | |
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200 | "Say -- I'm going in a swimming, I am. Don't you wish you could? But of |
201 | course you'd druther work—wouldn't you? Course you would!" |
202 | |
203 | Tom contemplated the boy a bit, and said: "What do you call work?" |
204 | |
205 | "Why ain't that work?" |
206 | |
207 | Tom resumed his whitewashing, and answered carelessly: "Well, maybe it |
208 | is, and maybe it aint. All I know, is, it suits Tom Sawyer." |
209 | |
210 | "Oh come, now, you don't mean to let on that you like it?" |
211 | |
212 | The brush continued to move. "Like it? Well I don't see why I oughtn't |
213 | to like it. Does a boy get a chance to whitewash a fence every day?" |
214 | |
215 | That put the thing in a new light. Ben stopped nibbling his apple. Tom |
216 | swept his brush daintily back and forth -- stepped back to note the effect |
217 | -- added a touch here and there-criticised the effect again -- Ben |
218 | watching every move and getting more and more interested, more and more |
219 | absorbed. Presently he said: "Say, Tom, let me whitewash a little." |
220 | |
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221 | |
222 | =head2 v5.11.2 - Michael Marshall Smith, "Only Forward" |
223 | |
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224 | The streets were pretty quiet, which was nice. They're always quiet here |
225 | at that time: you have to be wearing a black jacket to be out on the |
226 | streets between seven and nine in the evening, and not many people in |
227 | the area have black jackets. It's just one of those things. I currently |
228 | live in Colour Neighbourhood, which is for people who are heavily into |
229 | colour. All the streets and buildings are set for instant colourmatch: |
230 | as you walk down the road they change hue to offset whatever you're |
231 | wearing. When the streets are busy it's kind of intense, and anyone |
232 | prone to epileptic seizures isn't allowed to live in the Neighbourhood, |
233 | however much they're into colour. |
234 | |
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235 | =head2 v5.11.1 - Joseph Heller, "Catch-22" |
236 | |
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237 | Milo had been caught red-handed in the act of plundering his countrymen, |
238 | and, as a result, his stock had never been higher. He proved good as his |
239 | word when a rawboned major from Minnesota curled his lip in rebellious |
240 | disavowal and demanded his share of the syndicate Milo kept saying |
241 | everybody owned. Milo met the challenge by writing the words "A Share" |
242 | on the nearest scrap of paper and handing it away with a virtuous disdain |
243 | that won the envy and admiration of almost everyone who knew him. His |
244 | glory was at a peak, and Colonel Cathcart, who knew and admired his |
245 | war record, was astonished by the deferential humility with which Mil |
246 | presented himself at Group Headquarters and made his fantastic appeal |
247 | for more hazardous assignment. |
248 | |
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249 | =head2 v5.11.0 - Mikhail Bulgakov, "The Master and Margarita" |
250 | |
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251 | Whispers of an "evil power" were heard in lines at dairy shops, in |
252 | streetcars, stores, arguments, kitchens, suburban and long-distance |
253 | trains, at stations large and small, in dachas and on beaches. Needless |
254 | to say, truly mature and cultured people did not tell these stories |
255 | about an evil power's visit to the capital. In fact, they even made fun |
256 | of them and tried to talk sense into those who told them. Nevertheless, |
257 | facts are facts, as they say, and cannot simply be dismissed without |
258 | explanation: somebody had visited the capital. The charred cinders of |
259 | Griboyedov alone, and many other things besides, confirmed it. Cultured |
260 | people shared the point of view of the investigating team: it was the |
261 | work of a gang of hypnotists and ventriloquists magnificently skilled in |
262 | their art. |
263 | |
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264 | |
265 | =head2 v5.10.1 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister" |
266 | |
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267 | 'Briefly, sir, I am the Permanent Under-Secretary of State, known as |
268 | the Permanent Secretary. Woolley here is your Principal Private |
269 | Secretary. I, too, have a Principal Private Secretary, and he is the |
270 | Principal Private Secretary to the Permanent Secretary. Directly |
271 | responsible to me are ten Deputy Secretaries, eighty-seven Under |
272 | Secretaries and two hundred and nineteen Assistant Secretaries. |
273 | Directly responsible to the Principal Private Secretaries are plain |
274 | Private Secretaries. The Prime Minister will be appointing two |
275 | Parliamentary Under-Secretaries and you will be appointing your own |
276 | Parliamentary Private Secretary.' |
277 | |
278 | 'Can they all type?' I joked. |
279 | |
280 | 'None of us can type, Minister,' replied Sir Humphrey smoothly. 'Mrs |
281 | McKay types - she is your Secretary.' |
282 | |
283 | I couldn't tell whether or not he was joking. 'What a pity,' I said. |
284 | 'We could have opened an agency.' |
285 | |
286 | Sir Humphrey and Bernard laughed. 'Very droll, sir,' said Sir |
287 | Humphrey. 'Most amusing, sir,' said Bernard. Were they genuinely |
288 | amused at my wit, or just being rather patronising? 'I suppose they |
289 | all say that, do they?' I ventured. |
290 | |
291 | Sir Humphrey reassured me on that. 'Certainly not, Minister,' he |
292 | replied. 'Not quite all.' |
293 | |
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294 | =head2 v5.10.1-RC2 - no epigraph |
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295 | |
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296 | Z<> |
297 | |
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298 | =head2 v5.10.1-RC1 - no epigraph |
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299 | |
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300 | Z<> |
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301 | |
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302 | =head2 v5.10.0 - Laurence Sterne, "Tristram Shandy" |
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303 | |
304 | He would often declare, in speaking his thoughts upon the subject, that |
305 | he did not conceive how the greatest family in England could stand it |
306 | out against an uninterrupted succession of six or seven short |
307 | noses.--And for the contrary reason, he would generally add, That it |
308 | must be one of the greatest problems in civil life, where the same |
309 | number of long and jolly noses, following one another in a direct line, |
310 | did not raise and hoist it up into the best vacancies in the kingdom. |
311 | |
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312 | =head2 v5.10.0-RC2 - no epigraph |
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313 | |
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314 | Z<> |
315 | |
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316 | =head2 v5.10.0-RC1 - no epigraph |
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317 | |
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318 | Z<> |
319 | |
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320 | =head2 v5.9.5 - no epigraph |
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321 | |
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322 | Z<> |
323 | |
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324 | =head2 v5.9.4 - no epigraph |
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325 | |
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326 | Z<> |
327 | |
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328 | =head2 v5.9.3 - no epigraph |
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329 | |
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330 | Z<> |
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331 | |
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332 | =head2 v5.9.2 - Thomas Pynchon, "V" |
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333 | |
334 | This word flip was weird. Every recording date of McClintic's he'd |
335 | gotten into the habit of talking electricity with the audio men and |
336 | technicians of the studio. McClintic once couldn't have cared less |
337 | about electricity, but now it seemed if that was helping him reach a |
338 | bigger audience, some digging, some who would never dig, but all |
339 | paying and those royalties keeping the Triumph in gas and McClintic |
340 | in J. Press suits, then McClintic ought to be grateful to |
341 | electricity, ought maybe to learn a little more about it. So he'd |
342 | picked up some here and there, and one day last summer he got around |
343 | to talking stochastic music and digital computers with one |
344 | technician. Out of the conversation had come Set/Reset, which was |
345 | getting to be a signature for the group. He had found out from this |
346 | sound man about a two-triode circuit called a flip-flop, which when |
347 | it turned on could be one of two ways, depending on which tube was |
348 | conducting and which was cut off: set or reset, flip or flop. |
349 | |
350 | "And that," the man said, "can be yes or no, or one or zero. And |
351 | that is what you might call one of the basic units, or specialized |
352 | `cells' in a big `electronic brain.' " |
353 | |
354 | "Crazy," said McClintic, having lost him back there someplace. But |
355 | one thing that did occur to him was if a computer's brain could go |
356 | flip or flop, why so could a musician's. As long as you were flop, |
357 | everything was cool. But where did the trigger-pulse come from to |
358 | make you flip? |
359 | |
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360 | =head2 v5.9.1 - Tom Stoppard, "Arcadia" |
361 | |
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362 | Aren't you supposed to have a pony? |
363 | |
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364 | =head2 v5.9.0 - Doris Lessing, "Martha Quest" |
365 | |
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366 | What of October, that ambiguous month |
367 | |
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368 | =head2 v5.8.9 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister" |
369 | |
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370 | Frank and I, unlike the civil servants, were still puzzled that such a |
371 | proposal as the Europass could even be seriously under consideration by |
372 | the FCO. We can both see clearly that it is wonderful ammunition for the |
373 | anti-Europeans. I asked Humphrey if the Foreign Office doesn't realise |
374 | how damaging this would be to the European ideal? |
375 | |
376 | 'I'm sure they do, Minister, he said. That's why they support it.' |
377 | |
378 | This was even more puzzling, since I'd always been under the impression |
379 | that the FO is pro-Europe. 'Is it or isn't it?' I asked Humphrey. |
380 | |
381 | 'Yes and no,' he replied of course, 'if you'll pardon the |
382 | expression. The Foreign Office is pro-Europe because it is really |
383 | anti-Europe. In fact the Civil Service was united in its desire to make |
384 | sure the Common Market didn't work. That's why we went into it.' |
385 | |
386 | This sounded like a riddle to me. I asked him to explain further. And |
387 | basically his argument was as follows: Britain has had the same foreign |
388 | policy objective for at least the last five hundred years - to create a |
389 | disunited Europe. In that cause we have fought with the Dutch against |
390 | the Spanish, with the Germans against the French, with the French and |
391 | Italians against the Germans, and with the French against the Italians |
392 | and Germans. [The Dutch rebellion against Phillip II of Spain, the |
393 | Napoleonic Wars, the First World War, and the Second World War - Ed.] |
394 | |
395 | In other words, divide and rule. And the Foreign Office can see no |
396 | reason to change when it has worked so well until now. |
397 | |
398 | I was aware of this, naturally, but I regarded it as ancient history. |
399 | Humphrey thinks that it is, in fact, current policy. It was necessary |
400 | for us to break up the EEC, he explained, so we had to get inside. We |
401 | had previously tried to break it up from the outside, but that didn't |
402 | work. [A reference to our futile and short-lived involvement in EFTA, |
403 | the European Free Trade Association, founded in 1960 and which the UK |
404 | left in 1972 - Ed.] Now that we're in, we are able to make a complete |
405 | pig's breakfast out of it. We've now set the Germans against the French, |
406 | the French against the Italians, the Italians against the Dutch... and |
407 | the Foreign office is terribly happy. It's just like old time. |
408 | |
409 | I was staggered by all of this. I thought that the all of us who are |
410 | publicly pro-European believed in the European ideal. I said this to Sir |
411 | Humphrey, and he simply chuckled. |
412 | |
413 | So I asked him: if we don't believe in the European Ideal, why are we |
414 | pushing to increase the membership? |
415 | |
416 | 'Same reason,' came the reply. 'It's just like the United Nations. The |
417 | more members it has, the more arguments you can stir up, and the more |
418 | futile and impotent it becomes.' |
419 | |
420 | This all strikes me as the most appalling cynicism, and I said so. |
421 | |
422 | Sir Humphrey agreed completely. 'Yes Minister. We call it |
423 | diplomacy. It's what made Britain great, you know.' |
424 | |
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425 | =head2 v5.8.9-RC2 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister" |
426 | |
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427 | There was silence in the office. I didn't know what we were going to do |
428 | about the four hundred new people supervising our economy drive or the |
429 | four hundred new people for the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office, or |
430 | anything! I simply sat and waited and hoped that my head would stop |
431 | thumping and that some idea would be suggested by someone sometime soon. |
432 | |
433 | Sir Humphrey obliged. 'Minister... if we were to end the economy drive |
434 | and close the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office we could issue an immediate |
435 | press announcement that you had axed eight hundred jobs.' He had |
436 | obviously thought this out carefully in advance, for at this moment he |
437 | produced a slim folder from under his arm. 'If you'd like to approve |
438 | this draft...' |
439 | |
440 | I couldn't believe the impertinence of the suggestion. Axed eight |
441 | hundred jobs? 'But no one was ever doing these jobs,' I pointed out |
442 | incredulously. 'No one's been appointed yet.' |
443 | |
444 | 'Even greater economy,' he replied instantly. 'We've saved eight hundred |
445 | redundancy payments as well.' |
446 | |
447 | 'But...' I attempted to explain '... that's just phony. It's dishonest, |
448 | it's juggling with figures, it's pulling the wool over people's eyes.' |
449 | |
450 | 'A government press release, in fact.' said Humphrey. |
451 | |
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452 | =head2 v5.8.9-RC1 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister" |
453 | |
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454 | A jumbo jet touched down, with BURANDAN AIRWAYS written on the side. I |
455 | was hugely impressed. British Airways are having to pawn their Concordes, |
456 | and here is this little tiny African state with its own airline, jumbo |
457 | jets and all. |
458 | |
459 | I asked Bernard how many planes Burandan Airways had. 'None,' he said. |
460 | |
461 | I told him not to be silly and use his eyes. 'No Minister, it belongs to |
462 | Freddie Laker,' he said. 'They chartered it last week and repainted it |
463 | specially.' Apparently most of the Have-Nots (I mean, LDCs) do this - at |
464 | the opening of the UN General Assembly the runways of Kennedy Airport are |
465 | jam-packed with phoney flag-carriers. 'In fact,' said Bernard with a sly |
466 | grin, 'there was one 747 that belonged to nine different African airlines |
467 | in a month. They called it the mumbo-jumbo.' |
468 | |
469 | While we watched nothing much happening on the TV except the mumbo-jumbo |
470 | taxiing around Prestwick and the Queen looking a bit chilly, Bernard gave |
471 | me the next day's schedule and explained that I was booked on the night |
472 | sleeper from King's Cross to Edinburgh because I had to vote in a |
473 | three-line whip at the House tonight and would have to miss the last |
474 | plane. Then the commentator, in that special hushed BBC voice used for any |
475 | occasion with which Royalty is connected, announced reverentially that we |
476 | were about to catch our first glimpse of President Selim. |
477 | |
478 | And out of the plane stepped Charlie. My old friend Charlie Umtali. We |
479 | were at LSE together. Not Selim Mohammed at all, but Charlie. |
480 | |
481 | Bernard asked me if I were sure. Silly question. How could you forget a |
482 | name like Charlie Umtali? |
483 | |
484 | I sent Bernard for Sir Humphrey, who was delighted to hear that we now |
485 | know something about our official visitor. |
486 | |
487 | Bernard's official brief said nothing. Amazing! Amazing how little the FCO |
488 | has been able to find out. Perhaps they were hoping it would all be on the |
489 | car radio. All the brief says is that Colonel Selim Mohammed had converted |
490 | to Islam some years ago, they didn't know his original name, and therefore |
491 | knew little of his background. |
492 | |
493 | I was able to tell Humphrey and Bernard /all/ about his background. |
494 | Charlie was a red-hot political economist, I informed them. Got the top |
495 | first. Wiped the floor with everyone. |
496 | |
497 | Bernard seemed relieved. 'Well that's all right then.' |
498 | |
499 | 'Why?' I enquired. |
500 | |
501 | 'I think Bernard means,' said Sir Humphrey helpfully, 'that he'll know how |
502 | to behave if he was at an English University. Even if it was the LSE.' I |
503 | never know whether or not Humphrey is insulting me intentionally. |
504 | |
505 | Humphrey was concerned about Charlie's political colour. 'When you said |
506 | that he was red-hot, were you speaking politically?' |
507 | |
508 | In a way I was. 'The thing about Charlie is that you never quite know |
509 | where you are with him. He's the sort of chap who follows you into a |
510 | revolving door and comes out in front.' |
511 | |
512 | 'No deeply held convictions?' asked Sir Humphrey. |
513 | |
514 | 'No. The only thing Charlie was committed too was Charlie.' |
515 | |
516 | 'Ah, I see. A politician, Minister.' |
517 | |
4363636d |
518 | =head2 v5.8.8 - Joe Raposo, "Bein' Green" |
519 | |
4363636d |
520 | It's not that easy bein' green |
521 | Having to spend each day the color of the leaves |
522 | When I think it could be nicer being red or yellow or gold |
523 | Or something much more colorful like that |
524 | |
525 | It's not easy bein' green |
526 | It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things |
527 | And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're |
528 | Not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water |
529 | Or stars in the sky |
530 | |
531 | But green's the color of Spring |
532 | And green can be cool and friendly-like |
533 | And green can be big like an ocean |
534 | Or important like a mountain |
535 | Or tall like a tree |
536 | |
537 | When green is all there is to be |
538 | It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why? |
539 | Wonder I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful |
540 | And I think it's what I want to be |
541 | |
4363636d |
542 | =head2 v5.8.8-RC1 - Cosgrove Hall Productions, "Dangermouse" |
543 | |
4363636d |
544 | Greenback: And the world is mine, all mine. Muhahahahaha. See to it! |
545 | |
546 | Stiletto: Si, Barone. Subito, Barone. |
547 | |
4363636d |
548 | =head2 v5.8.7 - Sergei Prokofiev, "Peter and the Wolf" |
549 | |
4363636d |
550 | And now, imagine the triumphant procession: Peter at the head; after him the |
551 | hunters leading the wolf; and winding up the procession, grandfather and the |
552 | cat. |
553 | |
554 | Grandfather shook his head discontentedly: "Well, and if Peter hadn't caught |
555 | the wolf? What then?" |
556 | |
4363636d |
557 | =head2 v5.8.7-RC1 - Sergei Prokofiev, "Peter and the Wolf" |
558 | |
4363636d |
559 | And now this is how things stood: The cat was sitting on one branch. The |
560 | bird on another, not too close to the cat. And the wolf walked round and |
561 | round the tree, looking at them with greedy eyes. |
562 | |
563 | In the meantime, Peter, without the slightest fear, stood behind the |
564 | gate, watching all that was going on. He ran home,got a strong rope and |
565 | climbed up the high stone wall. |
566 | |
567 | One of the branches of the tree, around which the wolf was walking, |
568 | stretched out over the wall. |
569 | |
570 | Grabbing hold of the branch, Peter lightly climbed over on to the tree. |
571 | Peter said to the bird: "Fly down and circle round the wolf's head, only |
572 | take care that he doesn't catch you!". |
573 | |
574 | The bird almost touched the wolf's head with its wings, while the wolf |
575 | snapped angrily at him from this side and that. |
576 | |
577 | How that bird teased the wolf, how that wolf wanted to catch him! But |
578 | the bird was clever and the wolf simply couldn't do anything about it. |
579 | |
4363636d |
580 | =head2 v5.8.6 - A. A. Milne, "The House at Pooh Corner" |
581 | |
4363636d |
582 | "Hallo, Pooh," said Piglet, giving a jump of surprise. "I knew it was |
583 | you." |
584 | |
585 | "So did I,", said Pooh. "What are you doing?" |
586 | |
587 | "I'm planting a haycorn, Pooh, so that it can grow up into an oak-tree, |
588 | and have lots of haycorns just outside the front door instead of having |
589 | to walk miles and miles, do you see, Pooh?" |
590 | |
591 | "Supposing it doesn't?" said Pooh. |
592 | |
593 | "It will, because Christopher Robin says it will, so that's why I'm |
594 | planting it." |
595 | |
596 | "Well," aid Pooh, "if I plant a honeycomb outside my house, then it will |
597 | grow up into a beehive." |
598 | |
599 | Piglet wasn't quite sure about this. |
600 | |
601 | "Or a /piece/ of a honeycomb," said Pooh, "so as not to waste too much. |
602 | Only then I might only get a piece of a beehive, and it might be the |
603 | wrong piece, where the bees were buzzing and not hunnying. Bother" |
604 | |
605 | Piglet agreed that that would be rather bothering. |
606 | |
607 | "Besides, Pooh, it's a very difficult thing, planting unless you know |
608 | how to do it," he said; and he put the acorn in the hole he had made, |
609 | and covered it up with earth, and jumped on it. |
610 | |
4363636d |
611 | =head2 v5.8.6-RC1 - A. A. Milne, "Winnie the Pooh" |
612 | |
4363636d |
613 | "Hallo!" said Piglet, "whare are /you/ doing?" |
614 | |
615 | "Hunting," said Pooh. |
616 | |
617 | "Hunting what?" |
618 | |
619 | "Tracking something," said Winnie-the-Pooh very mysteriously. |
620 | |
621 | "Tracking what?" said Piglet, coming closer. |
622 | |
623 | "That's just what I ask myself, I ask myself, What?" |
624 | |
625 | "What do you think you'll answer?" |
626 | |
627 | "I shall have to wait until I catch up with it," said Winnie-the-Pooh. |
628 | "Now, look there." He pointed to the ground in front of him. "What do |
629 | you see there?" |
630 | |
631 | "Track," said Piglet. "Paw-marks." He gave a little squeak of |
632 | excitement. "Oh, Pooh!" Do you think it's a--a--a Woozle?" |
633 | |
4363636d |
634 | =head2 v5.8.5 - wikipedia, "Yew" |
635 | |
4363636d |
636 | Yews are relatively slow growing trees, widely used in landscaping and |
637 | ornamental horticulture. They have flat, dark-green needles, reddish |
638 | bark, and bear seeds with red arils, which are eaten by thrushes, |
639 | waxwings and other birds, dispersing the hard seeds undamaged in their |
640 | droppings. Yew wood is reddish brown (with white sapwood), and very |
641 | hard. It was traditionally used to make bows, especially the English |
642 | longbow. |
643 | |
644 | In England, the Common Yew (Taxus baccata, also known as English Yew) is |
645 | often found in churchyards. It is sometimes suggested that these are |
646 | placed there as a symbol of long life or trees of death, and some are |
647 | likely to be over 3,000 years old. It is also suggested that yew trees |
648 | may have a pre-Christian association with old pagan holy sites, and the |
649 | Christian church found it expedient to use and take over existing sites. |
650 | Another explanation is that the poisonous berries and foliage discourage |
651 | farmers and drovers from letting their animals wander into the burial |
652 | grounds. The yew tree is a frequent symbol in the Christian poetry of |
653 | T.S. Eliot, especially his Four Quartets. |
654 | |
4363636d |
655 | =head2 v5.8.5-RC2 - wikipedia, "Beech" |
656 | |
4363636d |
657 | Beeches are trees of the Genus Fagus, family Fagaceae, including about |
658 | ten species in Europe, Asia, and North America. The leaves are entire or |
659 | sparsely toothed. The fruit is a small, sharply-angled nut, borne in |
660 | pairs in spiny husks. The beech most commonly grown as an ornamental or |
661 | shade tree is the European beech (Fagus sylvatica). |
662 | |
663 | The southern beeches belong to a different but related genus, |
664 | Nothofagus. They are found in Australia, New Zealand, New Guinea, New |
665 | Caledonia and South America. |
666 | |
4363636d |
667 | =head2 v5.8.5-RC1 - wikipedia, "Pedunculate Oak" (abridged) |
668 | |
4363636d |
669 | The Pedunculate Oak is called the Common Oak in Britain, and is also |
670 | often called the English Oak in other English speaking countries It is a |
671 | large deciduous tree to 25-35m tall (exceptionally to 40m), with lobed |
672 | and sessile (stalk-less) leaves. Flowering takes place in early to mid |
673 | spring, and their fruit, called "acorns", ripen by autumn of the same |
674 | year. The acorns are pedunculate (having a peduncle or acorn-stalk) and |
675 | may occur singly, or several acorns may occur on a stalk. |
676 | |
677 | It forms a long-lived tree, with a large widespreading head of rugged |
678 | branches. While it may naturally live to an age of a few centuries, many |
679 | of the oldest trees are pollarded or coppiced, both pruning techniques |
680 | that extend the tree's potential lifespan, if not its health. |
681 | |
682 | Within its native range it is valued for its importance to insects and |
683 | other wildlife. Numerous insects live on the leaves, buds, and in the |
684 | acorns. The acorns form a valuable food resource for several small |
685 | mammals and some birds, notably Jays Garrulus glandarius. |
686 | |
687 | It is planted for forestry, and produces a long-lasting and durable |
688 | heartwood, much in demand for interior and furniture work. |
689 | |
4363636d |
690 | =head2 v5.8.4 - T. S. Eliot, "The Old Gumbie Cat" |
691 | |
4363636d |
692 | I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots; |
693 | The curtain-cord she likes to wind, and tie it into sailor-knots. |
694 | She sits upon the window-sill, or anything that's smooth and flat: |
695 | She sits and sits and sits and sits -- and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat! |
696 | |
697 | But when the day's hustle and bustle is done, |
698 | Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun. |
699 | She thinks that the cockroaches just need employment |
700 | To prevent them from idle and wanton destroyment. |
701 | So she's formed, from that a lot of disorderly louts, |
702 | A troop of well-disciplined helpful boy-scouts, |
703 | With a purpose in life and a good deed to do-- |
704 | And she's even created a Beetles' Tattoo. |
705 | |
4363636d |
706 | So for Old Gumbie Cats let us now give three cheers -- |
707 | On whom well-ordered households depend, it appears. |
708 | |
4363636d |
709 | |
710 | =head2 v5.8.4-RC2 - T. S. Eliot, "Macavity: The Mystery Cat" |
711 | |
4363636d |
712 | Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Hidden Paw -- |
713 | For he's the master criminal who can defy the Law. |
714 | He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair: |
715 | For when they reach the scene of crime -- /Macavity's not there/! |
716 | |
717 | Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity, |
718 | He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity. |
719 | His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare, |
720 | And when you reach the scene of crime -- /Macavity's not there/! |
721 | You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air -- |
722 | But I tell you once and once again, /Macavity's not there/! |
723 | |
4363636d |
724 | =head2 v5.8.4-RC1 - T. S. Eliot, "Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat" |
725 | |
4363636d |
726 | There's a whisper down the line at 11.39 |
727 | When the Night Mail's ready to depart, |
728 | Saying 'Skimble where is Skimble has he gone to hunt the thimble? |
729 | We must find him of the train can't start.' |
730 | All the guards and all the porters and the stationmaster's daughters |
731 | They are searching high and low, |
732 | Saying 'Skimble where is Skimble for unless he's very nimble |
733 | Then the Night Mail just can't go' |
734 | At 11.42 then the signal's overdue |
735 | And the passengers are frantic to a man-- |
736 | Then Skimble will appear and he'll saunter to the rear: |
737 | He's been busy in the luggage van! |
738 | He gives one flash of his glass-green eyes |
739 | And the the signal goes 'All Clear!' |
740 | And we're off at last of the northern part |
741 | Of the Northern Hemisphere! |
742 | |
4363636d |
743 | =head2 v5.8.3 - Arthur William Edgar O'Shaugnessy, "Ode" |
744 | |
4363636d |
745 | We are the music makers, |
746 | And we are the dreamers of dreams, |
747 | Wandering by lonely sea-breakers, |
748 | And sitting by desolate streams; -- |
749 | World-losers and world-forsakers, |
750 | On whom the pale moon gleams: |
751 | Yet we are the movers and shakers |
752 | Of the world for ever, it seems. |
753 | |
4363636d |
754 | =head2 v5.8.3-RC1 - Irving Berlin, "Let's Face the Music and Dance" |
755 | |
4363636d |
756 | There may be trouble ahead, |
757 | But while there's music and moonlight, |
758 | And love and romance, |
759 | Let's face the music and dance. |
760 | |
761 | Before the fiddlers have fled, |
762 | Before they ask us to pay the bill, |
763 | And while we still have that chance, |
764 | Let's face the music and dance. |
765 | |
766 | Soon, we'll be without the moon, |
767 | Humming a different tune, and then, |
768 | |
769 | There may be teardrops to shed, |
770 | So while there's music and moonlight, |
771 | And love and romance, |
772 | Let's face the music and dance. |
773 | |
4363636d |
774 | =head2 v5.8.2 - Walt Whitman, "Passage to India" |
775 | |
4363636d |
776 | Passage, immediate passage! the blood burns in my veins! |
777 | Away O soul! hoist instantly the anchor! |
778 | Cut the hawsers - hall out - shake out every sail! |
779 | Have we not stood here like trees in the ground long enough? |
780 | Have we not grovel'd here long enough, eating and drinking like mere brutes? |
781 | Have we not darken'd and dazed ourselves with books long enough? |
782 | |
4363636d |
783 | Sail forth - steer for the deep waters only, |
784 | Reckless O soul, exploring, I with the and thou with me, |
785 | For we are bound where mariner has not yet dared to go, |
786 | And we will risk the ship, ourselves and all. |
787 | |
788 | O my brave soul! |
789 | O farther farther sail! |
790 | O daring job, but safe! are they not all the seas of God? |
791 | O farther, farther, farther sail! |
792 | |
4363636d |
793 | =head2 v5.8.2-RC2 - Eric Idle/John Du Prez, "Accountancy Shanty" |
794 | |
4363636d |
795 | It's fun to charter an accountant |
796 | And sail the wide accountan-cy, |
797 | To find, explore the funds offshore |
798 | And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy. |
799 | |
4363636d |
800 | =head2 v5.8.2-RC1 - Edward Lear, "The Jumblies" |
801 | |
4363636d |
802 | They went to sea in a Sieve, they did, |
803 | In a Sieve they went to sea: |
804 | In spite of all their friends could say, |
805 | On a winter's morn, on a stormy day, |
806 | In a Sieve they went to sea! |
807 | And when the Sieve turned round and round, |
808 | And everyone cried, "You'll all be drowned!" |
809 | They cried aloud, "Our Sieve ain't big, |
810 | But we don't care a button, we don't care a fig! |
811 | In a Sieve we'll go to sea!" |
812 | |
813 | Far and few, far and few, |
814 | Are the lands where the Jumblies live; |
815 | Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, |
816 | And they went to sea in a Sieve. |
817 | |
4363636d |
818 | =head2 v5.8.1 - Terry Pratchett, "The Color of Magic" |
819 | |
4363636d |
820 | "What happens next?" asked Twoflower. |
821 | |
822 | Hrun screwed a finger in his ear and inspected it absently. |
823 | |
824 | "Oh,", he said, "I expect in a minute the door will be |
825 | flung back and I'll be dragged off to some sort of temple |
826 | arena where I'll fight maybe a couple of giant spiders |
827 | and an eight-foot slave from the jungles of Klatch and then |
828 | I'll rescue some kind of a princess from the altar and then |
829 | I'll kill off a few guards or whatever and then this girl |
830 | will show me the secret passage out of the place and we'll |
831 | liberate a couple of horses and escape with the treasure." |
832 | Hrun leaned his head back on his hands and looked at the |
833 | ceiling, whistling tunelessly. |
834 | |
835 | "All that?" said Twoflower. |
836 | |
837 | "Usually." |
838 | |
4363636d |
839 | =head2 v5.8.1-RC5 - Terry Pratchett, "Lords and Ladies" |
840 | |
4363636d |
841 | No matter what she did with her hair it took about |
842 | three minutes for it to tangle itself up again, |
843 | like a garden hosepipe in a shed [Footnote: Which, |
844 | no matter how carefully coiled, will always uncoil |
845 | overnight and tie the lawnmower to the bicycles]. |
846 | |
4363636d |
847 | =head2 v5.6.2 - Sterne, "Tristram Shandy" |
848 | |
4363636d |
849 | When great or unexpected events fall out upon the stage of this |
850 | sublunary word--the mind of man, which is an inquisitive kind of |
851 | a substance, naturally takes a flight, behind the scenes, to see |
852 | what is the cause and first spring of them--The search was not |
853 | long in this instance. |
854 | |
4363636d |
855 | =head2 v5.6.2-RC1 - Sterne, "Tristram Shandy" |
856 | |
4363636d |
857 | "Pray, my dear", quoth my mother, "have you not forgot to wind up the clock?" |
858 | |
0e6b8110 |
859 | =head2 5.005_05-RC1 - no epigraph |
4363636d |
860 | |
3e340399 |
861 | Z<> |
862 | |
0e6b8110 |
863 | =head2 5.005_04 - no epigraph |
4363636d |
864 | |
3e340399 |
865 | Z<> |
4363636d |
866 | |
3e340399 |
867 | =head2 5.005_04-RC2 - Rudyard Kipling, "The Jungle Book" |
4363636d |
868 | |
869 | The monkeys called the place their city, and pretended to despise |
870 | the Jungle-People because they lived in the forest. And yet they |
871 | never knew what the buildings were made for nor how to use |
872 | them. They would sit in circles on the hall of the king's council |
873 | chamber, and scratch for fleas and pretend to be men; or they would |
874 | run in and out of the roofless houses and collect pieces of plaster |
875 | and old bricks in a corner, and forget where they had hidden them, |
876 | and fight and cry in scuffling crowds, and then break off to play up |
877 | and down the terraces of the king's garden, where they would shake |
878 | the rose trees and the oranges in sport to see the fruit and flowers |
879 | fall. |
880 | |
4363636d |
881 | =head2 5.005_04-RC1 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" |
882 | |
4363636d |
883 | Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had |
884 | plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was |
885 | going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and make out what |
886 | she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then she looked |
887 | at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with |
888 | cupboards and book-shelves; here and there she saw maps and pictures |
889 | hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the shelves as she |
890 | passed; it was labelled 'ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great |
891 | disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear |
892 | of killing somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as |
893 | she fell past it. |
894 | |
4363636d |
895 | =head1 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS |
896 | |
0e6b8110 |
897 | This document was originally compiled based on a list of epigraphs |
4363636d |
898 | on L<Perl Monks|http://perlmonks.org> titled |
899 | L<Recent Perl Release Announcement|http://perlmonks.org/?node_id=372406> |
900 | by ysth. |
901 | |
902 | =cut |
3e340399 |
903 | |
4363636d |
904 | # vim:tw=72: |